Latest / The Bob Lefsetz Podcast / Taylor Momsen

Transcript

Taylor Momsen · The Bob Lefsetz Podcast

• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome back to the Bob Left Sets podcast.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: My guest today is Taylor Momson of The Pretty Reckless Taylor,
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: good to have you here. Thanks for having me. It's
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: good to be here. Okay, you spent the last couple
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: of years in Maine. How did you end up in Maine.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: A lot of the band is from New England, so
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: we spent a lot of time over the past decade
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: rehearsing up there, and I used to crash on couches
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: or stay at hotels, and after ten years I kind
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: of got old, so I finally got a place there
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: and uh and uh. We actually made the last record there,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: so it was that that became my second home, and um,
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: I love it. It's great. Okay, means a big state
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: and I don't want to know the exact address, but
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: do you live like close to Boston near Portland's up
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: in the Boonies. We're in Maine area. I live about
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: forty five minutes from Portland, but it's on an island,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: so it's very much it's very Stephen king Esk in
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: the middle of nowhere, very Horrorville, which I love. It's
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: it's right on the water, which is awesome. Um, very beautiful,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: but very very isolated, which is it's kind of perfect
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: because I split my time between New York City and Maine,
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: so it's it's the exact opposite of New York City,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: which is is great for writing when you need to
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: kind of get inside your own head and you know,
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: check out from the rest of the world. It's perfect.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: And how do you get to the island. You drive,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: it's not it's like there's a bridge, but it's a
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: very tiny little island with like ten houses and is
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: your house on the water? It is on the water.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: It's actually on stilts in the water, which in the
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: winter can be a bit scary. Uh. There's always a
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: quick chance that it might collapse into the ocean, and
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: that can be a little nerve wracking when those gusts
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: are coming through. But uh, but no, it's it's very
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: cool and very very key to have found a very
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: unique place like that. Okay, and electricity internet cable is
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: all regular speed or you know, you have the curse
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: of the boonies. Nah, there's a bit of a curse.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: The internet, you know, kind of goes in and out
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: the waters island water, so it's kind of crappy. Um,
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: but but it's it's also you know, it's still a
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: modern house too. I mean it's actually was built a
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: very long time ago. It was built in like the nine,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: but but it's been modernized since. And are you a
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: loner or is this just a good place to be?
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: I'm I think it kind of depends on the month.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I mean we're on tour. I'm certainly not a loner,
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: but uh, I know I'm kind of a I would
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: say I'm a loner. I have very few friends, and
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: you know, very close friends, but very few. And I
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: very much appreciate my my alone time and my privacy,
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: just me and my dog hanging out and writing music.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: And how far away are your bandmates? I'm not too far.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I mean the couple of our new hand sure guitar
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: player Ben's also in Maine and New York. He splits
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: his time as well like I do. Um, so not
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: not too far. But we rehearsed in Maine. I we
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: have rehearsal space right down the street from me, which
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: is awesome. We finally put that together and it's it's
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: very good. It's in an old armory, which is very cool. Um,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: very grungy, and uh, I don't know rustic, I guess,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: for lack of a better word, but it's it's it's awesome.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: You can just make noise all the time. And we
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: finally set that up, which took about ten years to
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: get an actual official rehearsal space for us. So it's, uh,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: I've been a long time coming. And what's a typical
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: day for you when you're not rehearsing. What's a typical
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: day look like in Maine? Um? Pretty boring, honestly. Uh,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: you know, wake up, feed the dog, have some coffee. Uh,
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: check the weather, go for a walk, work out a
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: little bit, um, play music, write songs. Kind of. I
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: kind of stay in my house a lot of the time. Um.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Of course, when it's beautiful in the summer, I love
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: to swim, um in kayak. But I'm a big, big swimmer.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: I do you know, lapse of for hours in the ocean. Um,
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: so that's kind of that's my main hobby. I guess that.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: And yeah, wait a second, at this time of year
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: in June, the water is really cold. It's really cold.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: It's it's even cold in August, like even in peak
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: swimming time. It's freezing never and we don't get that
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: nice California water. So you just jump in and then
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: endure the shock and wait till you adjust pretty much. Yeah,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: and and you know, swim until I can't feel my
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: hands and feed me more. That's always a good time
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: to get out when you go numb. Okay, You're band
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: members are older than you? Correct? How much older are they? Um?
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I mean that's a good question. I don't even know
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: their actual ages. Um, I just just a number, Bob,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: You know this, it's all about kindred spirits and that's
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: how I look at it. But they're they're like ten
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: years older than me. Does had you know, affect frame
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: of references or any positive or negative to them being
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: older than you? No? Um, I think you know. When
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: we formed the band, it was they were seasoned musicians,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: which was wonderful for me. Um. They they actually the
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: band came about quite organically. We um. The three of them, Mark,
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Ben and Jamie were actually in a band together for
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: many years. And I met I was a singer songwriter,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: and I was kind of doing the rounds of working
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: with different producers and meeting different people, and I had
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: always wanted to be in a band. That was always
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: my goal and I had had like, you know, middle
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: school bands and things like that, but nothing serious. And uh.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: I met our producer Cato while doing the rounds of
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: meeting everyone, and we hit it off immediately, and he
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: introduced me to Ben, our guitar player, and threw bound
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: I'm at the rest of the band, and I essentially
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: heard their band and went, well, I just want I
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: want to be in your band, but I want to
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: write the songs and I want to be a singer.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: And so that's pretty much what happened. Um. We kind
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: of just come comborn combined forces and the pretty recklessness.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: So how do you write the songs? Um? I get
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: asked this so much and I wish that there was
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: a let me ask you a different question before. Do
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: you write them alone or in concert with the other
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: band members? Uh? Well, Ben and I are the two
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: song writers of the band, so the two of us
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: are the only writers, um, and we have a really
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: good thing going. I it's there's no formula, and that
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: that you know that presents challenges. I wish there was.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I wish there was a way too. I mean, I
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: know how to write in a formula, but that's just
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: I don't find that pleasurable. That's not that's not why
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: I make music. I make music to express myself and
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: when I have something to say, say it, and um,
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: you know, music writing music was always this outlet for me,
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: uh that it's where I could really be myself and
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: really say what I felt and what I thought. And
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: it was kind of this this way that I could
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: process my emotions and my my thoughts and my brain
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: and kind of control the world around me. I guess,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: or let or let let go of the control of
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: the world around me. I don't really. It was just
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: this place where I could be very honest. Um. And
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: so I fell in love with songwriting at a very
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: young age. And when I met Ben, he had a
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: very similar ethic to me in writing, and it just
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: was this kind of seamless transition as to writing together.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: And and there is no formula. That's what makes the challenging.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: There is no it starts with the guitar starts here.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: It just the simple answer is it just it starts
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: with an idea and that can come from anywhere, and
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: that's that's what makes it tortuous, as you never know
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: where it's going to come from or if it's going
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: to come and and that can be a very scary
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: um time period, especially when you're trying to you know,
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: write in a new record and you don't know, you
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: don't know where to begin, um. And so it's a
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: lot of waiting around. Honestly, it's a lot of waiting
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: around for inspiration and something to strike you and that
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: turns into a song. And does he always do the music,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: you always do the lyrics? Or do you share those?
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Now we share everything. It's you know, each song is
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: done very differently. Um, Like I said, kind of the
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: only common thing is that it starts with an idea
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: and that can be a lyric, that could be a chord,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: that could be a the sky looks pretty today, like
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: it get start at any from any place. Sometimes songs
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: come in five minutes. Sometimes they take five years, you know.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: So it's um, it's it's it's interesting. I like I said,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I always might. I have this stupid joke that I
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: always say, and I always say, if I knew where
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: inspiration came from, I'd move there. It would make my
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: job a whole lot easier. But unfortunately I don't, So
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: you just have to kind of wait around for something
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: to strike you. And I mean, and there's there's a process,
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: I guess, not a process, but a way of doing that,
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: which is when I'm when I'm looking to write something, um,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: when I get that itch if I haven't done it
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: in a while, or when I'm trying starting to write
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: a new record, I surround myself with art and from
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: you know, reading books and watching great films and uh,
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: listening to great records, and you know, taking long walks
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: and looking at great going to museums, looking at great art,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: anything that's anything that could spark some sort of an idea.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: And by listening and looking at the greats that have
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: come before me that I always find that very inspiring.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: It just kind of puts my mind in a in
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: a place, in a settled place to begin, I guess,
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: let's go step by step in the nuts and bolts.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: And I know every story is different. Do you write
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: in the same room, do you either he or he
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: gets an idea, then you get in the same room.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Do you send things back and forth? I know where
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: there's no road way to do it, but generally, how
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: does it go? All of the above? I mean, I've
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: lived in the same apartment in New York for at
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: right now, for over ten years now, and so this place,
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: I think this place has some giju in it. Um.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: I've written pretty much all of all of our songs
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: here except for the ones that I wrote in Maine. Um.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: The only kind of constant is its I tend to
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: need isolation to write, at least at least to really
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: get to the core of it. Like I'm I'm always
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: jotting down ideas and and things, but to really kind
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: of hone in on what I'm trying to say and
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: really focus it into a song that takes That takes isolation,
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: that takes away, that takes being away from people like so,
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: I tend to not write complete songs very often on
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: the road, um, just because it's the whole. It's a
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: whole whirlwind of you know, a different kind of lifestyle
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: that I hear You're very focused on that, and so
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: I it I need that kind of divide and step
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: back from life almost to be able to kind of
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: put my brain in the right mindset. And if that
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: makes it okay, Let's say you have an album you
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: want to do, you need material. How long do you
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: have to be in isolation to get there. Oh man again,
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: I wish I knew. I mean, I think that's probably
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: why there's a we have some space in between our albums.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I mean this last record, Uh, I wrote over the
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: course of probably two years, three years. Um. So it's
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: it's I don't know. I don't. I don't do it
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: like that. I don't write. I don't. I guess I said,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I sit down to write a record, but it's it's
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: not like that. It's not like, Okay, I'm going to
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: write an album in the next two months or whatever.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: It's more I'm I'm always writing songs, and once I
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: have a collection of songs that are succinct and I'm
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: proud of and fit under the umbrella of a record
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: that tell this kind of complete story. Um, and I
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: feel like that chapter is complete, then then you make
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: an album. If that makes sense. Yeah, absolutely so you
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: said earlier, this is where you can be honest, this
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: is where you can be free. What is the message
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: you want to get across. It's a very good question.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know that I have a message
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: like that. I think, Um, I think, I just I
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: write music to express myself and it makes me feel
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: good and it makes me feel better about life. UM.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: And I think that, you know, it's it's where I
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: can deal with my problems. It's where I can uh.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: But like at this this last album for example, like
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know that there's a message per se. I
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: think by the time the album was finished and I
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: could take a step back from it, um and listen
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: to it almost from an outside perspective, I realized that
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: it was actually a very hopeful record. And I think
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: that that's kind of what the message became. UM that
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: after all this turmoil and very we went through a
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: lot of trauma and tragedy in the past few years. Well,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: I was before I was writing the album, or while
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: I was writing the album, and uh, and I think
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: when I took a step back from that, you know,
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: the writing of it and the making of the album
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: was me processing and dealing with everything I had gone through,
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: and it was kind of almost like my therapy. Um.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: And then when I got to the other side of
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: it and actually listened to the record it, I saw
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: that it was this very hopeful album. And so I
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: think that became the message of death by rock and roll,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: of there is light at the end. Of the tunnel
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: if you want to see it. And you know, even
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: when things seem very bleak and bad, things do get better.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: And and I think that that's you know, that's kind
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: of what that album became. So I don't think I
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: have one general message that I'm trying to convey to
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: the world or in part other than rock and roll
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: is awesome and I'm playing guitars school and writing music
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: is super fun. Well, you know, let me let me
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: there's a conundrum at the heart of some of the
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: greatest artists. They channel their individualism and it resonates with everybody,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: but they're one step removed. They feel like they're in
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: their own space or they're alone, or like, you know,
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: so you certainly had a lot of success being around
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: other people, and certainly if you listen to the earlier material,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: it seems like a reaction to that. So, you know,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: do you feel like you're in your own world and
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: therefore you can only just uh, just tell your truth
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: in the songs or you're a pretty active social person
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: and then you get to be yourself, but you write
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: songs too. No, I kind of feel like it's the
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: first one. I mean, I definitely feel like like I said,
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: music is where I can be myself. Music is where
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: I can process my life. Um and and and you know,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: and you can only write. You can only write what
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: you know. You can only write your experience as your life.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: And you know, sometimes if you're if you're daring, you
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: can delve into things that you see and people that
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: are around you and then you can write about that.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: But it's it's a very personal thing because there is
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: you can You're limited to only what you know and
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: what you feel. And that's so that's that's what I do.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: That's that's how I I don't know, it's just it's
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: how I think. Like writing songs make sense to me.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Music has always made sense to me. It's just the
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: language that I understand, um and never really was taught.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: It just was. It always spoke to me in a
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: way that nothing else did. And so getting to create
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: something from nothing and and purely express yourself is such
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: a gift. But it's also it can be very lonely
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: because you know, even even if people connect to it
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: and understand it, they never will connect to it and
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: understand it on the level that I do or I feel.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: If that that makes sense, Okay, the band is going
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: on the road. Uh, is that something you like to do?
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: I do? Especially now. Well, it's it's a catch twenty
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: two now because COVID is still going on, but especially now,
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: it's been a long time, like uh, because we lost
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: a lot of people very close to us. I kind
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: of went into isolation. We made the record, so it
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: was about five years until since we had toured UM
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: and so to finally be able to play the new
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: songs off the new record and be back out on
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: the road in front of the fans, it's such a
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: breath of fresh air after a five year long break,
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: which was not intentional, um, but it is. It is
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: still challenging with COVID though, Like you have to be
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: very very safe, so it's uh, you kind of you
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: live in a bubble, so it's it makes it a
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: little less fun, but in one way, it makes the
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: shows even more rewarding because that's really your that's where
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: you get to um have all the fun because everything
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: else is really boring. Right, So what works in terms
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: of performance? How do you make the audience connect with
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: you beyond the songs themselves. That's a very good question. Um,
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I don't, I don't,
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: I've never I'm not one to super analyze what I
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: do because I think if I start to do that,
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: then I'll get too in my head about it. Um.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: So as far as performing goes, I just try to
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: sing as well as I can and and perform as
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: honestly as I can, and really think about what I'm
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: saying and what I'm singing, and and try to connect
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: to the audience that way, and and just by being
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: very honest. And then there's also a you know, an
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: element of showmanship of course, when you're on a stage
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: that you know, there's lights and there's just makeup, and
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: there's you know a bit of extra you know, moving
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: around that you don't do in the recording studio and
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: things like that. But uh, you know that that makes
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: for a fun show. But honestly, I think the the
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: most fun and the connection comes from the fans being
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: so into it, if that makes sense. And so you
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: can really it's this it's a it's a drug that
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: you can't really get anywhere else playing live because you
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: create this kind of symbiotic relationship with the fans where
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: you essentially become one in this in this nightly experience
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: that only lasts for one night and then you move
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: on to the next town, and it's it's the same
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: experience but completely different. And so that it's it's always
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: it's like groundhog Day, but never the same. So it's
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: it's very cool, it's a very it's it's difficult to
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: call it a job. Um, it's it's super super fun.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: The job is the travel, the draw, The job is
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: everything around touring, but playing is simply a pleasure. Okay,
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: do you have a set list you use every night
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: or does the set list change? The set list is
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: always ever of all vena. This is this is the first,
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: and I won't say the first, but close to the
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: first time that we've actually had an issue putting a
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: set list together because we finally have we have so
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: much material now that we don't know how to hone
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: it down. Um, but you know, so we we put
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: together kind of a roundabout set lists depending on what
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: the shows are for. If it's an opening slot you
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: have x amount of time, a festivality of x amount
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: of time, and a headline show, you have obviously much
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: more leeway to kind of play with um and do
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: what you want. But so we have kind of three
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: set lists based on times that we work with and
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: then depending on the night, depending on how I'm feeling
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: and how the guys are feeling, we we alternate a
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: few songs and um, switch it up and and and
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: that's making it that's making tour and excuse me, that's
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: making touring very fun this time around two is that
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: it's not the same show every night, so it doesn't
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: get monotonous. It doesn't become this kind of your board
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: of the material by the third week. You know. Okay,
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: let's assume you are the opening band, which you certainly
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: have been a number of times in your career. Even worse,
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: you might even be playing in daylight and it's it's
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: really the headliners audience and you play. How do you
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: win over the audience? Mm hmmm, I don't know. I
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: wish I again, I wish I had a good answer.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: I wish there was some little trick that you could
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: do that it would just magically make everyone love you.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: But unfortunately that's not how the world works. So we
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: really just I, you know, I try to treat opening
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: shows or any show like it's our own show. And
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: that's how that's how I approach it like, we put
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: on the best show we possibly can, you know, play
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: the hell out of the songs, and and hope that
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: people like it and hope that they respond to it.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: And you can't expect everyone in the in the world
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: to love you like that's just an unrealistic goal. So, um,
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: I think our our goal is to put on a
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: show that we're proud of, that we like because I
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: love playing in a band. Because I love playing in
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: a band. So if I'm having fun, you know, pathetically,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: you should be having fun too. I hope that that translates. Okay,
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: so every act needs fans to survive, but the fans
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: want a lot. What is your personal relationship with fances, Like,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: you know, are there twenty people you know by face,
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: you know by name? Do you want to keep everybody
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: at arm's length? What's the situation? Um? Well, social media
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: has certainly changed the relationship with fans drastically, um because
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: when we started a social media was around, but it
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: was certainly not what it is today. Um. So I
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: think that, you know, it's a bit of both. I
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: think there's there's some super fans that come to every
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: show and follow us around the country. And I, you know,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: follow them on Twitter and we'll chat, and I see
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: their faces everywhere and know who they are. And then
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: there's the kind of the mass, the masses of where
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: I don't know you individually, but I'm very appreciative of
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: of your support because I can't do this without them,
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: And you know, I can still write songs and I'd
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: probably still be making records, but you know, no one
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: would hear them if I didn't have any fans. So it's, uh,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: it's I feel very fortunate to have fans. And it's
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: a it's a fine line of because I'm a very
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: I'm a very private person and so I kind of
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: struggle writing that line with social media of how much
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: of my life do I share and how much do
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: I keep private? And I think that it's a it's
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: a balance and a kind of teetering act that I'm
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: always playing with and trying to get more comfortable with
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: sharing more of myself, but at the same time, um
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: keeping myself protected to a degree to where I can
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: still be myself. And that's not that's not for every
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: you know, that's not for everyone. Not everything about me
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: is for everyone. Everything everything that I put into the
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: music and that I put forth into the world is
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: for everybody. But the you know, I still have my
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: private life that I keep just for myself as a
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: human beings. So it's this fine balance that I'm always
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: kind of toying with, and I still haven't quite figured
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: it out. I think, well, if you had any personal
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: bad experience this result of fans, you know, one in
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: ten fans is literally certifiably insane. It's just you don't
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: know which one it is. We have certainly had some
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: some crazy experiences with fans, some that have gotten a
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: bit out of hand, um, more physical. I mean, well, no,
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: it's but there's been both. I mean, I don't I
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: can't get into it. But we've had stalker issues with
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: where literally the FBI has been called and been deposed
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: and and you know, very serious issues that I'm not
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: actually really allowed to talk to talk about. Um. So
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: there's that side of things, which is super fun and
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: totally totally not scary at all. Um. But then there's
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: you know, the crazy encounters that shows and things where
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: like we I used to bring I used to bring
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: fans up on stage during a song called going Down.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: That was this very fun moment in the show, and
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: I did that for years, and we went to We're
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: playing in China, and I brought fans up and the
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: chaos that ensued on stage, the the aggression and mayhem
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: where it just it got a little out of hand
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: and we didn't have security and it got dangerous where
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: my hair was ripped out of my head a girl.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: The groping became very um unmanageable where I couldn't defend myself,
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: and so we had to stop doing that. So there's,
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: you know, certain antics we had to kind of tone
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: down just for personal safety, physical safety and things like that.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: But but in general, I think fans are just they're
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: just enthusiasts. You know, I'm a fan. I'm a fan
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: of music. So it's it's getting to see your artists.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: You want to let loose and have fun, but you know,
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: just just don't go just don't go too far. Okay,
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: you started off with theme from television. Was that a
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: good thing or a bad thing for your musical career?
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: I think it was a catch twenty two. I think
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: I think that in in one way it was. It
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: was great because I had, you know, I had some
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: name recognition, and so when we put out the first album,
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: there was an immediate kind of there's an immediate attention
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: put on it where you know, it was put out
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: in a in a real way where you know, we
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: could play a show and people would show up. Um.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: But in the grand scheme of things, I think that
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: it was actually quite detrimental because it was a It
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: was an extremely hard thing to overcome people's perception of
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: me and that you know, people saw me as this
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: character that they watched on TV every week. And I
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: fully understand that. I fully understand watching your favorite TV
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: show and seeing that actor as the character that you
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: see on television. They're not a real person, they're that character.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: And so to kind of to disassociate myself from that
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: character and have people see me as myself and as
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: a musician and and as everything that I truly was
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: inside was was challenging. And to kind of gain you know,
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: there was a hurdle to kind of overcome, to gain credibility,
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: where I think a lot of people saw this as
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: like some sort of vanity project or this fleeing thing, like, oh, well,
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: she's putting on a record because she can and whatever.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: When and when in reality, it was music is everything.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: That I am and everything that I have to give,
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: and I was trying to share that with the world
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: and getting kind of hit from me from multiple sides
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: of it's hard to it's hard to prove yourself and
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: and because there's no real way to do it, there's
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: no good way to do it. You can't sit there
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: and tell someone no, I'm this, and they're going to no,
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: you're this, and that arguing about it doesn't do anything.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: So it really just took time. It took to doing
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: this for ten years and continuing to put out music
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: and continuing to tour to have people kind of have
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: that shift happened where people see me as Taylor Mompson
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: and not this character I played, And so that was
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: a bit of a challenge, but it's it feels good
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: to be on the other side of it finally. Okay,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: when you made this transition, talking about the insight, you know,
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: you have an age and maybe you have a manager,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: you have an attorney, you have people are making money
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: from you. Okay, what did they say when you wanted
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: to be a musician? Oh man, they were not well
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: when I when I said that I wanted to pursue music,
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: they were all for that when I said I wanted
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: to quit everything else to pursue music, and that was that.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Gods of phone calls. People were not happy about that, um,
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: because it was actually it was a big fight of mine. Um.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: You know, I was on the show gossip Girl and
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: it was doing extremely well. And I became as I
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: was getting older. You know, I started acting when I
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: was two years old. I was put into it with
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: my family. Um. You know, no no resentment there or anything.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: You know. I think all those stories kind of got
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: blown out of proportion. When I was younger, I said
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: some crazy things and they got taken out of context.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: But you know, I started acting when I was very young.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: But it was never this. It was never something that
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: I chose for myself. It was something that I just
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: always did and I didn't really know any differently. And
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: when I started to get a little older in my
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: teenage years, I had this kind of revelation where I realized, oh,
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: I don't I don't have to do this, Like this
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: is a job that I can quit. And it was
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: like this, you know, lightning one off in my mind
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: where it was like, oh, this is so simple. I
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: can just play in a band. I can just write
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: songs and do what I love. I don't have to
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: do this other thing amazing woman to do that. And
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: so when I made that decision in my head and
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: then proceeded to tell everyone that, that's when I got
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: a bit of, you know, a bit of a reaction,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: but a bit of backlash. And it was it was
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: actually quite challenging to leave the show because I was
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: under contract. So it turns out quitting was not that easy. Um,
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: And so it was that it was a very long
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: process of me trying to get out of out of
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: the show. And I really came down to I had
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: to call. I called Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage, the
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: Cree leaders and writers, and begged them. I just begged them.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: I want this is making This isn't making me happy anymore.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: This is this is this is not what I want
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: to be doing with my life. I'm very thankful for
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: everything you've given me and the platform that you've put
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: me on, and this has all been a great experience.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: But I'm as a person and as a as a
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: growing woman, I need to go explore what I really
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: want to do. And they because cw the head of
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Warren brothers had a c W. He was not uh,
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: he was not going to let me out of my contract.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: So there was no way to get out of it.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: And so thankfully Stephanie and Josh, actually they want, we
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: can't let you out of your deal, but what we
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: can do is we can write your character out. Um.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: So that's what they did, and so they slowly kind
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: of transition my character out of by writing it that
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: way and allowed for me to go on tour and
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: and really pursue my passion. And for that, I'm just
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: forever grateful and indebted because they just they didn't have
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: to do that, and I wouldn't be where I am
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: now if they hadn't. So I'm just can't say thank
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: you to them enough. Okay, if you're working on a
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: TV show until you're on hiatus, the hours are unbelievably long,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: you know, and you almost can't live a life. So
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: you can look at your bank account. You're getting paid,
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: but you're not really spending any money, not thinking about it.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: And certainly once the show was picked up, it gets
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: relatively lucrative. Generally speaking, music doesn't pay that well, especially
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: not at the beginning. So once you got to the
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: other side, you're extricated, you make a record. Whatever did
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: you ever think, holy funk, what did I do? Or
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: did you say, wait a second, this isn't what I
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: thought it was going to be. Well, first of all,
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: I was making to speak about long hours for a second,
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: because yeah, they're long hours. I mean, I was making
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: the first album Light Me Up while I was still
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: on the show. So I was going to work at
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: four in the morning, working until about seven at night,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: and then going straight to the studio and king in
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: the studio toel I don't know, two in the morning,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: sleeping about two hours a night, and going right back
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: to work. So I was burning the candle at both ends.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: And I think that was part of my decision to
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: leave the show as well as It's just like I
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: can't physically do both these things and one of them
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: I love and can't not do um, So that was
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: that was a challenge, and it's I get well now,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: I just kind of lost my train of thought because
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: what was your question. I'm sorry, Bob. You know, once
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: you finally extricate yourself and you are a musician, did
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: you have any second thoughts and did you ultimately confront
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: money issues? Like, Wow, this is gonna be hard. I'm
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: gonna have to adjust things. Well. Money issues, of course,
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: money issues is always a I think that's something that
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: no matter what level of life you've reached, you're always
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: you know, I think even the biggest actors in the world,
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: you know, they still have money issues, right, Like doesn't everyone,
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: So you know that's but that's something that's something you
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: figure out as you go. Um as far as thinking
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: did I make the right decision or or asking anything
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: like that, that was that was never a question. As
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: soon as I left and was just doing music full time,
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I finally felt free. I finally felt happy in a
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: way that I'd never I never really felt in my
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: life before. And then that's you know, that's the feeling
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: that I wouldn't trade anything for. You know, I'll be broken.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: I'd rather be broken happy than rich and and unhappy.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: You know. Okay, you grow up in Seeing Louis, how
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: do you end up in show business? It's a good question.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: I again, none of this is from my memory, but
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: the story goes uh that I my mom had some
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: photographer friends who took some photos of me when I
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: was like one and two. They somehow got sent to
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: a modeling agency. Um, I got so, I got it
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: started with I got signed to Ford Modeling when I
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: was two and somewhere and going on calls for modeling gigs.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: I I guess I was very chatty. I'm not I'm
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: not sure. I remember myself being a very shy kid,
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: but I guess I was very talkative when I was little.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: And uh, my modeling agents said, you know, she should
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: go on auditions, and so that was kind of the
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: quick transition and to suddenly I was going on acting auditions.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: And I actually booked my first audition, which was for
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: a commercial for Shake and Bake, and so that was
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: kind of, you know, the opening of the doors, I guess.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: And from that it was just my my family, Mom
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: and I would travel and go on auditions. We'd spend
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: summers in New York. Um, and just go back and forth.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: I was kind of in and out of school and um, yeah,
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: and then that's kind of how that happened. Okay, so
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: how many kids in the family, Just me and my
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: younger sister. Okay, the younger sister followed this path at all.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: She she went on some auditions when she was younger,
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: but she didn't. It wasn't the same thing as it
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: was with me. So she did a couple of small
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: roles when she was younger, and then that was it.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: And what did your father do when you and your
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: mother were out working? He worked. He was a full
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: time a full time job. I still never really understood
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: what he did, but when he does. He he worked
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: with electronics. He worked for a company called gp X. UM.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember that he designed the
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: discman like he before computers and stuff. He would draw
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: the actual like what the new walkman and stuff would
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: look like. Um. So he was on the creative side
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: of of physical uh music players, which was actually quite cool.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: And then uh, and now he works for now he's
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: works for another company. And I probably shouldn't go into
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: what he does because I don't know if he'd like that.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: But but he was. He was at home working, and
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: my mom and I would travel. And with your mom
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: when you're two years old, that's fun. At some point,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: he gets old. At some point. I don't know that
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: the travel ever got old. I loved going to different places.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: I loved New York City because that's where it started.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: Is we would we would go to New York in
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: the summers when I was out of school and uh,
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: you know, kind of rent a place for a couple
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: of months and I'd go on auditions and and do
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: that thing there, and I fell in love with the city.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: Was so it makes it makes a lot of sense
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: that I still live here. Um. I love the energy
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: of it. And so the traveling I think was actually
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: quite fun. But the constantly not really being in school
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: and not really having a a traditional childhood, I guess
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: certainly kind of took its toll on me in certain
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: ways where I became very introverted because I didn't have
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: a lot of friends. I didn't know how to connect
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: to normal kids my age, I guess because I was
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: living in this very different life than they were, and
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: so it put me in this very kind of isolated
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: internal bubble, which is honestly when I turned to writing music,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: I started writing music before I even really knew what
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: I was doing. I guess I started writing songs and
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: you know, just how I was feeling, and I write
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: it down and I put it to melody and little
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: poems and things as as a kid like, you know,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: terrible songs, but songs nonetheless, and that's kind of where
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: I fell in love with it. Of this, of this
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: this world that I could create inside my own head,
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: that nobody he could touch, and it was just mine.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: And um, it made me feel safe, I guess. So
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: what was it like going to school? And then eventually
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: when you get on a series, you're not in regular
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: school at all? No? Um, well in I mean elementary
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: school was in then out of school a lot uh where.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: But I was still in school. I was in Catholic school.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: And so when I would go do a role or something,
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: um and be gone for a couple of months, the
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: school would give me my work and I would do
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: it on set with a tutor. Um. So I was
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: technically still enrolled in a school. And then when I
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: moved to New York when I booked Gossip Girl, I
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: moved here when I was twelve or thirteen. Um, officially,
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: I spent about it. I spent my freshman year of
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: high school trying to go to a school, trying to
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: go to a public school here in the city. Um,
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: and just the work hours are so nuts that I
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: gave up on that. I gave up on that and
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: left and and just homeschooled and ended up graduating high
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: school when I was like sixteen. Um, just by doing
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: it on set with the tutor and just knock on
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: the workout. Do you have any regrets you didn't go
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: to college. No, I don't, but I thought about it.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: I wanted to go for like for writing or something,
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: you know, something language arts or something like that. But
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: I also think that college is something that you can
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: always go back to. UM. And I'm I wouldn't say that.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: I never would do that either, if you know, if
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: I wanted to learn a different skill, because I think
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: it's always good to better yourself, but you can do
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: that at any age. UM. But no, I joined a
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: rock and roll band. There's no regrets. What sixteen year
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: old doesn't want to fift I'm sorry, fifteen year old
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: doesn't want to be in a rock and roll band
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: and tour of the country. I got to do that
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: and it's awesome. Okay, so you're on a TV show.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: What's it like having all that attention? Um? It was.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: It was definitely different than what I was used to
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: because I had been you know, I had been acting
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: my whole life, and I've been in lots of roles
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: and you know, some more high profile than other but
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: never involved in the tabloid aspect of things. And Gossip
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: Girl was a that was a transition to get in,
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: an adjustment, to get used to where suddenly and you
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: walked out of your house there was you know, paparazzi
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: on the street and they're following you around and uh,
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: and suddenly your personal life became public literally being photographed
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: and put into into for public consumption. And so that
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: was that was different. That was strange, um because it
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: happened overnight too. It was very There was no like
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: slowly getting more and more famous. It was no one
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: knows who you are, and the next day there's thirty
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: people outside your house. And so it was very shocking,
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: I think at first. But I think I've adapted quickly
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: to it and and kind of got used to it.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: And you know, I think Liam is Liam Gallagher. I
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: think Liam Gallagher said, He's like, you know, fame is
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: this kind of thing that you just keep keep kicking
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: over your shoulder. It's this this this nuisance. It's there,
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: but it's you know, it's not what it's about. It's
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: it's very fleeting, and it's just this thing that is
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: around and you just learn to manage it. Okay, A
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: lot of people who are very famous at that age
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: grow up very fast. They drink, they do drugs, they
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: have sex. What was your experience, Well, um, I think
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: if you listen to my albums, it's probably some indication
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: of what my life is like. Um But no, I
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: mean I I certainly grew up very quickly. Um. I
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: you know I've never had friends at my own age
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: that all my friends are older than me, even when
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: I was like a kid. Um but I think that's
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: just that's just subject to my surroundings. You know, That's
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: not that wasn't necessarily by choice. It's just the people
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: that I could identify with and communicate with and and
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: felt a kindred you know, spirit with or whatever just
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: happened to always be older, just due to the my
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: life circumstances. Um. So, I certainly you know I grew
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: up quickly, and I've I've now mellowed out in my
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: old age of eight. So you're writing songs from a
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: young age. At what point do you say to yourself,
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: wait a second, I can do this. I want to
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: do it. I think I always knew that, and it
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: was always something that I was pursuing, um, just the differences.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: When you're you know, a led ten eleven years old.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: You can have an acting career, but I don't think
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: anyone wants to listen to what a ten year old
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: has to say in music, at least I hope not. UM.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: So you know, I had to get to an age
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: where I had enough life experience and I had enough
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: um enough, I had enough things to say that we're
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: you know, important and relevant and and get to and also,
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: you write a lot of bad songs before you write
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: good ones. It's just you know, how it goes. And
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: so I had to get to a place where I
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: actually wrote a record's worth of material that I genuinely
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: wanted the world to hear in and I was super
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: proud of and wanted to put out in a public way. Um.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: And so that's really all it was. It was just
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: a lot of practice and when I finally met the
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: right people, formed the band, you know, wrote records worth
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: of songs that I was really proud of. It all
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: just kind of came together very seamlessly, um, in this
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: very chismic kind of magical way that you know, it's
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: very lucky in in this world. I think like it.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: You know, finding finding musical partners and like minded people
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: is a challenge. And the fact that it kind of
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: all just everything just kind of fell into place at once,
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: that that's kind of that's the best way to say it.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: We're just all kind of clicked and it was just
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: it flowed like water. You listen to your music, it's
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: what we call active rock today. Maybe I would think
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: that'd be the best description. And although you talk about
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: your influences online, the first thing I hear is a
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: C d C. This is very different from when a
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: C d C was really happening in late seventies and
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: early eighties, where everything mixed together. One could say that
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: hard rock is its own ghetto. Most people who have
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: fame in other areas going to pop okay, stuff that
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: Spotify Top fifty, work with producers, etcetera. How did you
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: decide to go? I'm sure the music led you there,
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: but you're a smart person. You must have realized where
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: you were going. I did. I didn't. I didn't. I
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: I didn't think I was that calculated. I wasn't because
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: I wasn't doing I wasn't making music for fame and
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: success like that was never my goal. I already had
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: that to a degree with something else, so I knew,
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: I had experienced that. I knew what that was, and
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: that was never a goal of mine. It was something
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: that it just was. It was. It wasn't necessarily interesting
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: to me. I you know, I really got into music
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: because I wanted to express myself, and rock and roll
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: was always just what I loved, you know, It's what
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: I grew up with. That's what I grew up with
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: listening to and fell in love with. And you know,
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: the depth of the music from you know, they started
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: they started with the Beatles, which is you know, not uncommon,
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: I would say, but I fell in love with the Beatles,
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: and then Led Zeppelin and the Who and Pink Floyd
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: and A. C. D. C. And Neil Young and uh,
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: when I got a little older, it was you know,
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: Jimmy Hendrix, and then all the nineties stuff with Sound
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: Garden and Nirvana and Oasis and Pearl Jam and and
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: and just every every band and artist that I loved
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: was under the genre of rock and roll where it
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: was just this kind of pure, the purest form of
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: self expression and an aggression and vulnerability and and it
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: was smart. Um you know, it had depth and it
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: had layers to it, and it wasn't this kind of fleeting,
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: you can bop your head to it music. It was
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: something that you could really sit with and and and
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: escape into and go somewhere else. And that's that's the
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: kind of music that I always um loved and and
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: still love and and that's the kind of music that
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: I wanted to make. Um that and I also just
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: love electric guitars because they're super fun. So okay, so
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: you've had I think five number one you know, rock tracks,
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: But you can have a number one rock track and
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: of America doesn't even know who you are, never mind
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: heard the track. Is that frustrating? I think that it's
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: a good question. I don't I don't know that I've
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: ever looked at it in a way of frustration. I
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: think that I think that there's music that deserves to
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: be I think that there's you know, rock and roll
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: has become this very niche market. I don't think that
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: that's a you know, a surprise to anyone, and I
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: don't think that that's necessarily deserved. Um. I think that
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: how do I want to say this? And you know,
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: to meet Rocket, you have to remember that rock and
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: rolls alway has been on the outskirts. You know, it's
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: it's never really been at the forefront of pop culture
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: except for in the moments where it takes over. And
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: and to me, music is very cyclical, like it's you know,
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: if you look at the history of music over time,
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: like starting with say, starting with like the fifties, the fifties,
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: it was very single bass, very pop um, and you know,
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: then the sixties and seventies came in where there was
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: this kind of renaissance of artists and musicians that overtook
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: the formula that was um did the uh the industry,
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: and you know, it overtook the industry this pure expression
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: where it was just undeniably great, and rock and roll
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: had this you know, renaissance and resurgence. And then the
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: eighties came in and I think everyone tried to kind
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: of emulate something and everything started to kind of lean
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: a little bit more towards the pop vein of um.
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: You know, there's a bit of a lack of depth
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: in my opinion. And then the nineties came and there
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: was your next resurgence with grunge and Nirvana and song
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: ern and prol Jam and where and everyone Else and
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: chains YadA YadA, where it just it over. It was
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: so raw and so honest and so just the purest
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: form of expression that it was undeniably great and it
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: moved everybody. And that's the kind of music that I
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: strive to make. And I think that that's the kind
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: of music that every artist strive to make, necessarily in
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: that genre, but music that is so passionate that it
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: touches people whether you want it to or not. And
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: I think that that, you know, and then after the nineties,
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: it's hard to find musicians like that, in bands that
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: are that great. You know, there they're anomalies. And that's
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: why it's an unn you know, from an industry standpoint,
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: you can't manufacture that. You can't constantly make that. And
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: I think that's why pop always ends up coming and
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: rising to the surface again. And so I think right
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: now we're just in the process of waiting for the
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: next rock and roll resurgence where it comes back because
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: it can't die. It's too primal. That's what rock and
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: roll is to me. It's it's it's so primal, it's
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: the ultimate freedom. And when when you hit the nail
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: on the head. It's it's undeniable, and I think that
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: we're just waiting for that next moment, and I hope that,
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: you know, we could be a part of that that resurgence.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: And it's never it's never gonna look like what you
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: think it's gonna look like either, um, and so you know,
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: always keeping my eyes peeled, I guess, Okay, Pretty Reckless
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: has been on four different labels. How come? Um, Well,
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: it's ah, every album we've been on a different record label. UM.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: Partially partially because I'm very I like to maintain creative control, UM.
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: And so I don't like having people in my ear,
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: especially from an industry side of things, telling me what
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: I can and can't say, or can't you can't write,
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: or I don't like having and only having people in
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: the studio. I don't like A and R, I don't
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: like I don't like people telling me what to make
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: and so I I found that for me it works
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: best to kind of create, create what I want to make,
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: make the album, and create this finished product and then
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: pass it around to the people and let them listen
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: and and then find the best partner for that record
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: and see who's the most enthused, and who's the who
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: makes the most sense, Who's who's really behind it and
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: gets what I'm trying to say and what we're trying
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: to go, what we're going for, and and who can
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: help put that out into the world in the best
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: way possible. So that's what That's kind of what's happened
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: with every album is I've licensed the records, I make them,
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: and then I licensed them to who. Okay, but usually
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: they want a longer commitment to go into business with you.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: So ay, when you were with Interscope, a traditional major label,
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: did they want you to do things? Did they want
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: to get it involved creatively or marking and the way
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: you didn't like it? And did you have to negotiate
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: a split or did they only have one record or
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: did they say we're done? Um? Interscope was well, they
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: certainly they certainly wanted to push me into more of
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: a pop vein which I fully understand um, and I
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: was very resistant against that and very definitive in in
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: the music that I was making and was not going
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: to bend uh. And so that relationship kind of kind
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: of just we hit a point where it just we
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: were both going in different directions and it just wasn't working.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: And I also, I thankfully have had very good management,
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: so who helped me kind of get out of that
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: out of that deal. Um. But it's basically what I've
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: done is I've I've tried to create a very good
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: team of people around me that are in my core
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: unit that I've selected myself over the course of um
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: a decade or so, and that's who I trust with,
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: and that's you know, that's where the the grand plan
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: you know, I wish there was one, but the grand
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: plans formulated and then the labels become this kind of um,
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: you know, addition that we add to the team on
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: each album based on where we're at as a unit. Okay,
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: so they got a Razor and Tie. Razor and Tie
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: is basically known at the time. It's now part of Concorde,
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: but it was independent then, primarily known for kids bop
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: catalog releases. They didn't have a ton of success with
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: their new music label. What was it like being on
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: Razor and Tie as opposed to Interscope. It was, that's
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: a good question. It was very in one way very
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: similar and one way very different. Um. You know, I
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: think the first thing is that we we made. They
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: knew what they were getting. Razor Time knew what they
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: were getting with us. They knew, you know, they had
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: heard the album. They knew what they what the product product.
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: I hate being called the product, but it is. It
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: is at the end of the day, they knew what
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: the product was. They knew what they were trying to sell.
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: And so you know when we met with them, UM
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: and Cliff the president at the time, he was just
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: he was very he was a music lover. He seemed
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: to very he seemed to stand the record UM on
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: a on a very deep level, which I appreciated. UM
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: and it and they had a it just it I
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: don't know, you know how you know how industry is.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: It just kind of all clicked and it made sense.
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: It made sense at the time. And uh and I
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: think we did. You know, they did a great job
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: with it. Like we had our first number one on
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: that record. So it was, you know, we weren't under
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: the major label umbrella, but I had all the freedom
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: in the world to to to do and be who
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: and how I wanted to be. And and that's that's
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: what I'm going for, is is you know, I've I've
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: played the character. I've done the game, and I just
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: want to I want the music and the art to
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: speak for itself and I want that to which I
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: know is sometimes an unrealistic goal, but I want that
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: to be at the forefront and I want and I
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: want it to be my way or not do it
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: at all, because I just don't see the point if
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: it's not my way. And so that's kind of where
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: the licensing of albums seemed to make the most answer
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: for me and has until this point and still does so,
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: where I just I really don't have to give anything away.
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: I can. I can maintain all the artistic control, and
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: that's the most important thing to me. Okay, I must say,
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: as you talk, you give the impression that everything's hunky dory,
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: everything's great, the label's great, got out of your TV deal,
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: you've got a good management, whatever. But those of us
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: on the inside, no, it's never that way. There's a
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: lot of frustration, a lot of angst. So can you
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: tell us a little bit about that. Even the most
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: successful acts. Oh, I mean there's tons of there's tons
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: of frustration and challenges and angst and everything that comes
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: up all the time. But you know, honestly, right now,
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: I'm there's not really too many issues, which I haven't
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: been able to say for a long time because there's
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: been a lot of personal issues and everything is kind
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: of hunky dorry for lack of a better term, right now,
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: and it and it feels good to be in that place.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, if I was going to go down memory lane,
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: which I could do, but I would honestly have to
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: get the band and help in here just to remember
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: everything because it's you know, it moves quickly, and there's
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: a there's a lot of a lot of stuff has
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: happened that to even remember all the little details. But
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: but no, I mean getting off the television show that
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: was not easy. That was extremely hard. That was tons
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: of fighting and arguing and back and forth and uh,
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: you know, and it eventually ended in a place that
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: that was pleasing to both parties. Um, it's you know,
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: same thing with Endoscope get you know, getting out of
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: a deal that didn't fit what I you know, didn't
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: fit the picture of what I wanted my career to
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: look like was super challenging. You know. So there's a
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: lot there's been lots of challenges and lots of fighting
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: throughout the years, but at the end of the day,
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: I you gotta let all that go because if it's
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: not currently happening, then what's the point of hanging onto it.
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: Like life's too hard as it is, you gotta move.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: I'm a little bit of a hippie in that way, like,
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: move on, next thing. Okay, So today it is you know,
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: you're at the center, You're in the universe. You get
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: to pray, depressed taking anti depressants? Are you always upbeat too?
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: Your active? You know, what's your inner life like? Um?
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: I certainly struggle with ups and downs. Um. I think
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: that I always have and and I went through a
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: very bad bout with depression over the past few years
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: while making this album. Um, we lost many people close
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: to us, and that took me down a very dark
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: path of depression and substance abuse and and everything that
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: comes along with loss. Um that I wasn't equipped to handle.
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: And it's, you know, to make a long story short,
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: that's that's where Death by Rock and Roll came from.
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: It was it was me pretty much at my lowest
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: and using trying to use music to to pull myself
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: out of this hole that I didn't know how to
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: get out of and it. And now I'm at now
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: you know, I've made that record, I've I've grown a
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: lot in the past few years, and now I'm just
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: trying to get back to life. I guess if that
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: makes sense. I mean, we you know, I spent so
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: long in isolation and then COVID obviously you know everyone did,
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: but that just extended this the sentence that I had
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: put on myself another two years. And so now I'm
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: just trying to kind of get back into the world
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: again and see how that feels and try you know,
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: try those try those shoes on, because it's been a minute,
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: and you know, get back out there and tour and
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: play and and see the fans and um, and just
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: try to live. I guess a little bit um and that,
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: you know when I still struggle with ups and downs
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: and and of course like everyone does, and um, you know,
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: some are more severe than others. And I don't really
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: have a good answer to get out of it. Uh,
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: I wish I did. I tend to always turn to music,
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: as cliche as it sounds, That's that's where my head goes,
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: because it's it's somewhere that I can escape and somewhere
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: that I can also feel secure, and um, you know,
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: it's it's kind of like a I don't know, there's
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: there's music for every emotion and and and you know
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: when you scroll through when I scroll through my records,
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: I can always find a song for what I for
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: what I need. And and that's kind of what I
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: try to turn to because turning the drugs and alcohol
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: just that wasn't working for me anymore. That was going
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: to kill me. So you know, so now that's that's
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: what my life looks like. I'm just trying to stay
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: on the positive side of things and and get out
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: there and um live. So what a couple of year
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: go to records coaching records? Well, every Beatles record is
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: a mainstay. Wait, wait, what's your favorite Beatles album? I
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: can't pick one. I know that's because you can't pick one.
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: It's the whole. You know, I have one now, it's
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: changed from what it was earlier, So give me your
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: general sensibility. Um, it's it's always different. I mean, okay,
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: well right now I'm listening to the anthology a lot,
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: just because it has all of the all of the
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: different demos and all the versions of songs, which I
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: think is very cool to listen to and explore. Um.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: I also have been why I still haven't finished it.
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: I think it's it's amazing. I haven't finished Get Back yet,
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: which I is the I think the greatest thing to
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: happen to cinema and ever. Um, I'm so fascinated by it.
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: I'm so in love with it. But it's taking me
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: forever to get through because I have to pose it
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: every two seconds and rewind it and just make sure
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: I soaked in every little moment of it. Okay, let's stop.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: Where are you? I'm still I'm still about halfway through
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: the first one, and it's taken me about how when
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: did it come out? Three months? Are watching the first one?
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: All I can say is I find the three episodes
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: quite different. They that's what I've heard. But I'm again,
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: I'm only on the first one. But I'm waiting for
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: what did you take from what you actually saw? First
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: of all, just how genius it is, but but I
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: already knew that, but also just getting to see kind
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: of the full extensions. It's like the unedited version of
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: everything I've been watching my whole life, you know, to
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: see this footage that's existed and I've never seen before
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: is mind blowing. But I think that I'm taking a
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: lot of things from it. I think one, it's it's
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: amazing to see the similarities. I mean, not that I'm
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: ever trying to compare myself to the greatness of the Beatles,
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: but to see the similarities of of what it's like
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: to be in a band and to to be a
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: writer and to be, you know, in working with three
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: other people and and have that kind of camaraderie, and
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: that the arguments and the banter and the just the
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: their overall kind of demeanor is very similar to us
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: in a lot of ways. Um, which is very cool
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: to see that. You know, artists such as you know,
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: the greats like the Beatles are at the end of
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: the day, you know, they're human too, and and there's
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: and so I'm I'm just fascinated by it. Aspect you're
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: being is in a room or studio, what do you
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: argue over? Oh my god, the like everything. I mean,
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: there was one fight that I'll never forget where it was.
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, I thought it was going to come to
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: blows and it was just over how loud the high
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: hat should be like it was. It was intense. It
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: was a good twenty minute screaming match back and forth
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: between me, Ben and Kato and it it was and
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: we're not fighters, were not physical fighters, but it got close.
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: So that's just one example. It's we fight over the arc.
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: It's you know, it's a it's a let's go back
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: to the high hat. What did everybody? What did you want?
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: I don't even remember at this point on So this
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: is the first record, Um, this was light me up.
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: I don't remember what I actually what I wanted or
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: what I don't remember if we might have all been
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: even saying the same thing, but we just weren't listening
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: to each other, Like I don't think any of us
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: actually knew by the end of the argument, but we
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: were so adamant about whatever it was. I knew it
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: was a high hat, that it was just it got
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: very heated very quickly, and ever wanted to walk out
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: of the room and cool off and come back. And
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: then it was probably just like turn it down a
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: quarter of a dB and we're all happy. It's probably
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: something that careful. There's a theme of you wanting to
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: do it your way, So are you the ultimate arbiter
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: in the act. Yeah, well, if it's I mean, if
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: I would say Ben and I are Ben and I
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: because we write the songs, and so if they're if
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: they don't, you know, if the recording doesn't capture what
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: our intent was, or doesn't do the song justice to
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: its fullest potential or whatever it Uh, we're immensely unhappy.
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: And it's and it's like you're destroying our children. Um.
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: So it's it's this very you know, it's this very
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: tumultuous thing where it's like if you like working with
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: different producer, we always worked with Kata. That's why it
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: was is a very beatle like relationship where we worked
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: with the same person George Martin beatles us and Kato
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: because we build upon that. We built upon that relationship
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: and so um, you know, in a musical partnership where
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: it became symbiotic and so are our minds just kind
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: of intuitively worked together and we all had the same goal. Um.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: And so losing him and having him pass was a huge,
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: huge impact. I mean, not only was he my best friend,
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: but he was the fifth member of the band. He
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: was this very integral part in the making of our records.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: And so losing that was extraordinarily difficult, and trying to
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: replace that it was nearly impossible. And so um, and
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: where was I going with us? Sorry um and so
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: too to find that again. I don't know that we'll
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: ever find that again. And so that's what that's what
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: made this album Death by Rock and Roll very different
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: in a lot of ways, is that it was us
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: kind of figuring out how to us figuring out how
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: to make records without Kato, which seemed like an impossible
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: task I think when we started, um and luckily we
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: we we knew one other guy named Jonathan Wyman who
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: was an old, dear friend of ours who's just a
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: great engineer, and so we called him up. And that's
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: how we didn't made this together where we actually been
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: and I actually co produced it because we were so
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: involved within controlling about these songs that were so precious
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: and so dear that there was no um, there's no
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: other way around it. So I don't remember where I
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: started with this. I had if I had a full
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: circle moment, but I forgot what your question was. And
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: so yes, So my point, my point being, so we're
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: very involved in the recording and all of it where
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: there is no So the buck stops with with me
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: and Benet. It has to it has to reach a
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: certain level and hit a certain point in place where
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: we can both go, that's great the way it is,
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: and don't don't mess with that anymore. And so yes,
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: the buck stops with the buck stops with the two
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: of us. And I think that we're always on the
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: same page that we've never really gotten in an argument
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: about what about all the other stuff? When to go
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: on tour with the artwork is and all that stuff,
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: there's you know, well that's where the team that I've
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: put in place comes in to play. Um like that, Okay,
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: it's I know the friend who's the manager will not
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: manage X, will only me A not manage bands because
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: there's so many issues between the band. No, no, no,
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: we don't have that. I know what you're saying, that
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: we don't have that kind of um dynamic in our band.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: It's because when you sign a record deal, are all
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: four band members on that deal are just you? No,
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: it's just me, it's just you? Wait? Is it just me? Honestly,
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: I don't even know and I should know that. Um, well,
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: I'm the soul it's it's it's split because it's not me,
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: it's not signed under Taylor Momson. So it's it's I
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: am the owner of the Pretty Reckless. So the license
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: the title that you know at the copyright, I own that.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: So that's you're signing the pretty Reckless, but I am
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: the sole proprietor of the Pretty Reckless. Of that Okay.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: So there's an advance or there are hypothetically royalties which
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: never seemed to show up. Everybody get uh, we don't
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: split it like that, but everyone does get equal shares
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: at the end. But it's not But like with an
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: advance or whatever, especially with license in the albums, it's
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: not that's it's not that cut and drive like here's Europe,
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: because it's not a three sixty major label deal, like
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: here's your money and we'll take care of everything. The
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: advance goes to making the art and goes back into
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: the business. So it's the deals like that go into funding.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: But let's just assume you're in business and after ten
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: years you have to be making some money otherwise you
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: would stop, so you wouldn't be able to afford going
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: on the road. So at the end of the day,
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: if there's a hundred dollars, do you get fifty and
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: the other three with the other forget publishing, totally different things.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: But on these men for the band, okay, do you
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: split or is it split differently? It's a case by
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: case basis. It's not. It's not across the board blanketed
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: set a deal like that. It's it depends on the
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: situation and where where the money is coming from and
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: what it's for and where it's going, and like it's
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: it's not. It's not as a standard deal. Like you
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: go on the road, you perform, forget sponsorship for you know,
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: just you're performing and it's merch. How is that split up?
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: It's it's not split by percentages like that. It's it's
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: it goes into the business and then whatever is left
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: over is split. But if they get paid, they get
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know this well enough to really
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: discuss it properly. But they don't they get paid, and
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. It's one final question.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: But do they get paid a salary? Did you get
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: eight a salary? But it's but it's a consistent Yes,
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: they get paid a salary, yes, but but it's it's
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: constantly changing based on the incomes of the organization. Okay,
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: so other than the Beatles, what are a couple of
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: your other go to factor something easier? Uh? Well, sound
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: Garden is my other go to band, like my two
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: favorite bands on the planet of the Beatles and Sound Guarden.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: So sound Garden is. But you were on the road.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: You were on the road with sound Garden. Yeah, when
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: Chris Cornell committed suicide, What the hell was how'd you
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: find out? It's well, that was the start of my demise.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: I guess um or my very downward spiral was the
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: passing of him, because that was to be on tour
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: with Sound Garden. When we got that phone call that
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: we were going to open for them, my mind was blown,
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: like I couldn't even I couldn't process. I was so
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: happy I was. That was the pinnacle moment of my
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: career that I could not believe we were opening for
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: Sound Garden. Um, I felt like I was in a
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: dream and and getting to play those shows with them
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: and be on the road with them and getting to
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: know them personally. It was just the whole experience was
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: absolutely amazing and super surreal. And we played that last
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: show with them in Detroit, and the next morning I
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: woke up to the news and it just it was
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: so shocking and so devastating. I couldn't wrap my mind
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: around it. It crushed me in a way that I
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: was not expecting or prepared for or could even understand. Um.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: And we were still you know, we were still in
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: the middle of tour at that at that time, and
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: I we played a few shows after that, but I
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: quickly came to the realization and the and the point
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: where I was like, I'm not in a good headspace
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: to be on tour. I can't do this. I can't
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: get on stage in fain excitement and happiness every night,
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: Like this is just it's unfair to the fans, it's
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: unfair to me. Like I need I need a break.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: I need some time to go home and grieve and
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: be a person. Um and and and and I did.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: I canceled everything. I went home, and as soon as
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: I started to kind of get my feedback on the
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: ground and process the passing of Chris Um, I turned
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: to music. I started writing. And that's because that's what
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: I always do. It's this is where my mind goes.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: And I was calling Kato or producer going, I've got
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: some songs we gotta get in the studio because it
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: hit all of us extraordinarily hard. I mean, one of
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 1: the reasons this band formed and why it's you know,
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: has the members that it does is was our deep
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: passionate love of sound garden Um. It was one of
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: the things that we connected on right away. Did you
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: play black hole soun on rock band? I didn't play
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: rock bands, but I wasn't. No, I never played any
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: of that. I played guitar. Was it was black hole
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: son on on guitar? Hero or rock band? Was one
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: of the famous songs from rock You're processing. Yes, I've
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: written some songs and like we all of us were
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: in this kind of depression and this funk from from
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: Christ's passing, and when we got to get out of this,
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: let's get in the studio, let's record. I don't know
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 1: what these songs are for, but I've got some stuff
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: like let's just move forward. We've got to try to
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: get out of this. And as soon as we were
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: starting to put those plans in motion, I got the
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: phone called that Kato had died in a motorcycle accident
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: and that that was the just that was the nail
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: in the coffin for me, that was that was the
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: beginning of what I was sure was going to be
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: the end. Like where I just I sunk so fast
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: into this whole of depression and substance abuse and just
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: this place of utter darkness and sadness that I couldn't
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: get out of and I didn't see a way out of.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: And I just and I think the biggest problem was
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: that I didn't care, Like I was very content being
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: living there and and essentially fading into nothing, and and
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: I just I saw that as that's where my life
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: was going to go, and that's where I live, and
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: that's where I die. And that was that. And it
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: took you know years UM's, you know, writing this album
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: and stuff of me trying to pull myself out of
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: that hole. Because and that's why I say music saved
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: my life and saves my life continually, is because I
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: hit that point where I it was so lonely and
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: so low that I needed music. I needed something. And
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: you know, the drugs and the alcohol it wasn't filling.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: It wasn't even numbing that that whole anymore, wasn't numbing
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: that pain. It was just exacerbating it and it and
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: it didn't. I wasn't doing what I needed and it
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 1: wasn't doing what I needed it too, um And so
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: I turned to music and it and it was this
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: essentially just really learned everything. I tried to kind of
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: ask myself, like, what, like everything I love is dead,
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: what's the point? And there had to have been a
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: point to all of this. There had to have been,
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: and that the point was always music. So I started
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: I tried to I essentially regressed into being a child
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: where I just I listened to the albums that I
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: grew up loving and and tried to find my love
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: of something. And from an innocent and organic perspective, I
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: guess of of like you do when you're a child,
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 1: when you just you don't even know why you love something,
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: you just do. And that's what I did with music.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 1: I started to kind of listen to the starting with
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: the Beatles records and just going through, um, all the
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: albums I grew up loving and love to this day,
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: and eventually getting to a place where I could listen
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: to Sound Garden and have it bring me some happiness
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: and not just immense pain and sadness and that was
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: kind of a that was a turning point for me
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 1: where I could listen to those records and and there
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: was a spark there um and I started to feel
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: like I used to a little bit, just a little
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: bit moments, glimmering moments, and that that, you know, led
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: to me picking up a guitar and and playing music.
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: And because I was also all by myself, I didn't
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: didn't have anything to do, and that's so I was.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: This was a long period of time, so I just
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: I turned to music and playing guitar and singing songs
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: by myself in my bedroom like I did when I
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: was a kid. Brought back, you know, all those feelings
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: that I felt when I was a child of writing music.
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: And that's then then this album turned into this very
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 1: free flowing form of expression where I just just once
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: I kind of let myself, let my mind go there
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: and and say out loud everything that I had been
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: trying to shove down and repress. Um. The floodgates opened,
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 1: and this album essentially just it kind of wrote itself.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 1: It was just this very pure form of inspiration that
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: I said that it's it's it almost feels like the
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 1: first album in that way where it's just this this
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: uncontrollable source, Like you're always looking for the source of something,
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: and in this case, it was like the universe of gone.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: You wanted something to write about, Taylor, here I smacked
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 1: you in the face with it. What are you gonna
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: do with it? And by that's how this album was
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: was made and written and and by doing that and
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: by letting it all out through songs and in songs,
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: it it started to heal me and you know, heal
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 1: my soul in a way that I desperately needed. And
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: it was not overnight like when you know, you know,
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: when I sum it up in this little, nice, nice
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: little package, it sounds like it was easy. It was
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: not easy. It was it took a very long time.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, That's why I
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: say this album Death by Rock and Roll is a
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: very hopeful record because it it kind of covers this
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 1: spectrum of of everything that I was going through at
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: the time and in this very real way, um and
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: and it and there's no there was no hiding, there's
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: no hiding from it. There was no I couldn't I
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: couldn't fake it even if I wanted to. I passed
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: that point where I was I was unable to fake
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: living anymore, and so it just it. It came out
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: in the music and that's what eventually got me back
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 1: to a place of uh being here. I don't I
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 1: just got very heavy with that and I don't know
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: it entirely made sense. Yes it did. So what did
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 1: it look like doing drinking and doing drugs? It looked
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: like it looks like a train wreck. What do you
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: think it looked like? It was something there are people
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: say doing drugs. I smoked a lot of dope. Other
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: people said I was it was injecting heroin. I mean
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: there's different. So people who were drunk seven people will
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 1: get wasted two times a week. Um. You know again,
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: I think that that's something that I'm not quite read
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: you to share with the world. It I'll just leave
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: it it. It was. It was bad. That was very bad. Um,
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 1: and I did hit. Uh. There was a moment where
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: it was I had to make a conscious decision of
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 1: this is gonna kill me or so his death or
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: moved forward? Um, And there was a there was a
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 1: defining moment of that. But that's that's something that I
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: don't think I'm quite ready to talk about in depth, okay,
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: But the defining moment was an internal or external. It
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: was external and it was a very physical decision. Okay.
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: And during this process, were you getting professional help? Mm hmm,
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: not really. I mean I I had spoken to different therapists.
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 1: I saw it help, um, but I hadn't found you know,
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 1: I think therapy therapists it's such a challenge to find
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 1: a therapist that works for you. And I was moving
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: from the a therapist and never really found, um, the
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: right person for me. If so that that was kind
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: of a dead end for me, and not not for
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: lack of trying. I think at the end of the day,
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: I knew that it was outside help was you know,
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: there's only so much that I was hade. Help can do,
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: and then support from friends and family can do. I
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: had to want to change, I had to want to
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: make that choice to move on with life and continue
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: to live and and and that's a hard decision to make.
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: But if it had to come from me, it wasn't
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: going to come from anyone else. Um. And I think
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 1: that you know, it's like with anything like trying to
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: motivate to exercise, Like you can have a trainer and
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: all your friends tell you to do it, but at
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: the end of the day, you have to get up
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 1: and do it. And I think that that's I had
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: to reach a point that hit hit something that that
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 1: scared me enough to change, and I did. Ye you're
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 1: talking about this defining moment. Uh, once you hit the
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 1: other side of it, was it totally of course you
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: had to have of your head in the right place.
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: But was there a third party who called you every
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 1: day or came by every day to aid you till
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 1: you finally got traction? Or was it something you did
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 1: solely yourself? Um? No, I had help. The band helped
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: a lot um. You know. They they were relentless and
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: checking out on me. Um and you know, making sure
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: I was doing all right. Um not dead yet? Uh No,
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 1: So I had, I had, I had help in in
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: that sent in that regard where I had, I had
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 1: very close people in my life that it cared about
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 1: me um and that, you know, I'm very thankful for
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: and very lucky to have, because not everyone has that,
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: UM And so you know, I think that's that's kind
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: of supports us them certainly does not. It's not unappreciated
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: by any means, and I think that it is an
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 1: immense help. But like I said, at the end of
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 1: the day, if you want to change, it has to
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: come from within you, like people yelling at you or
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: telling you to trying to motivate you or whatever. You know,
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: however that might look, um isn't going to be the
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: thing that does it. At the end of the day,
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: it's just encouragement. Okay. There's a famous book by William Styrone.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: The author called Darkness Visible about his time being depressed
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 1: and ultimately even going into an institution, and he said
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: he couldn't listen to music he was so bad. And
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: I've certainly been in that space. But when he could
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: listen to music, then he knew he was on the
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: road to recovery. Was there any time it that the
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: music didn't work before it did? That's exactly what happened.
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: And I'm not familiar with this book, but now I
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: want to read it. It's an easy book to read.
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: You should definitely read. Yeah, no, I would love to.
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: That's that's because that's verbatim what happened. When I was
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 1: my lowest. There was no Everything brought sadness, especially music,
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 1: because music with my whole life, and so anything I
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 1: put on or listened to just brought back a painful
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 1: memory or but I just hated it, or like it
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 1: brought back so many had so many different emotions attached
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: to it that none of which were good emotions. And
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 1: and then and they would vary on a minutely basis. Um.
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: But so I just I shut it out, like it
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 1: was it brought back something that I couldn't deal with yet,
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 1: and it just it was not pleasurable to me. And
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 1: it was not creating comfort. It was creating pain and
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 1: anger and anxiety and all you know, all the negative
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 1: sides of the spectrum of the wheel of emotions and
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 1: uh and so yeah, it was. There was a period
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: where I couldn't listen to music at all, and I
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 1: think that that was probably my darkest period because I
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: had never gone in a day in my life without
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 1: listening to music. It's just a part of my daily routine. Um.
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 1: And I think that that's like you said when when
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: you when I I hit a place where I found
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: myself needing it. I needed music and I had been
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: depriving myself of it almost unconsciously, though like I didn't
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: It wasn't this conscious thing where I went, I'm not
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 1: going to listen to music because it makes me feel bad.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 1: It was just like I just didn't do it. It
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: just hurt and I didn't do it. And I finally
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 1: hit a point where I I felt like I needed
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 1: music like I need water and oxygen and it and
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: I don't know, then this primal un there was no
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 1: thought process to any of this. That just it just was.
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 1: And that's where that that's where I kind of I
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: started from the beginning again and I went, Okay, well,
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 1: let's start with something easy to digest. Let's start with
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 1: the Beatles, you know. And that's where it. That's where
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 1: that kind of transitioning and introducing music back into my
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: life through in the order of how I fell in
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 1: love with it as a child, became this kind of
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 1: very theory compeutic process to me. And and the end
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 1: of that looked like being able to listen to the
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 1: Sound Garden. And by the time I hit that point,
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 1: that allowed me to then get to the next stage,
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 1: which was playing music and writing music. And so that
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: was so I think I noticed it as as I
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: was listening to albums again that it was starting to
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: help me in a way, But I don't think I
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: really noticed any of it until I until I completed
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 1: the album and then took a step back and went, oh,
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 1: ship that was. That was a lot over the past
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: few years. I don't even know what just happened, um
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 1: because you can't see it when you're in it. But
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 1: generally speaking, or your glass half empty, glass half full person,
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 1: mm hmmm, I think it depends on the month. I
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 1: don't after having having this terrific experience. Okay in the
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 1: bathroom mind, I think you said, well, it could happen again. Yeah,
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 1: in the back of my mind spoke could happen again.
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: But I think be because of all of that. I think,
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 1: because everything I went through and all that darkness, I
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: am now probably more on the glass glass half full
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: side of things in the sense that I I look
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 1: at everything with a sense of it's not that important.
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 1: Like you know, once the once death impacks you in
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 1: a real way, it changes your perspective of everything else,
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 1: and so anything goes wrong or anything that's bad now
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 1: it's kind of like, well, it's not that bad. Um.
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 1: So so if that's what my new motto is, just
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: it's eway like is what it is? Man Like Oh,
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 1: it's a bad show. That sucks. I'm pissed. I'm gonna
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 1: fire everybody, you know whatever. But eway, there's another one tomorrow.
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: Like it's that's how you have to That's how I
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 1: kind of look at life now in in general and
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 1: until something, you know, hopefully nothing that's serious will happen again,
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 1: at least for not a lot time. But go back
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 1: to Chris Cornell for a second. I unfortunately that friends
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 1: have committed suicide, and I find the old only way
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 1: to ultimately move far forward if you put it in
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 1: a mental box, you come out with some reasoning of
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 1: what you thought was going on there. So how did
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 1: you do that with Chris? And what did that look like?
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 1: That's a good question, I think, And to think about
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 1: that for a minute. I don't. I don't. I don't know.
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 1: I haven't. I haven't dissected that one. That's a very
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 1: good question, Bob. I don't know that I have a
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: good answer to that, because I don't. I don't think
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 1: I've thought back on it like that in that way.
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 1: I think that I think that once honestly, Chris passing
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 1: was extraordinarily devastating and the start of a spiral for me.
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 1: But so shortly after Chris, we lost Cato, and that
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 1: that hit me in a in a way that like
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 1: I thought, Chris hit me in a way that I
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 1: didn't know, you know, hit me into the gut and
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: the gut that I didn't know I had. And then
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 1: but then with Kato passing, that was so so close
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 1: to home. It's so personal and so you know, such
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 1: a huge part of my life. It's such a huge
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 1: part of my life that that overtook everything. And so
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 1: I think that Chris, you know, became a part of
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 1: this whole umbrella that was loss and death and grief
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 1: and and and and it just it all kind of
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 1: lumped together in this giant everything I love is dead.
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 1: I don't see the point of life. And so it
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 1: wasn't so specifically I didn't have the time to get over,
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 1: not get over, but I didn't have the time to
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 1: fully process and cart cart compartmentalized Chris's death because Kato's
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 1: death happened so quickly after Chris' is so it all
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 1: just became this one lump of hell. Not if that
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 1: if that makes any sense. I don't mean to like
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 1: belittle or or say they're not different, but it was
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 1: so clear, were so quick next to you, so quickly, um,
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 1: one after the other, that it was just this one
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 1: to punch of pain and it all it all hurt.
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 1: There was no going like, oh my arm hurts today
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 1: and my leg hurts tomorrow. Is my whope, everything hurts
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 1: all at once. Okay, let's go and do you go
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 1: on the road now. And you've been on the road before.
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 1: Anybody who's been there knows. It is a man's world.
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 1: There's an occasional woman in the crew, and it's a
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 1: real down and dirty lifestyle. And men can really be
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 1: down in dirty when it comes to clothing, hygiene, going
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 1: out drinking. Are you one of the guys? Are you
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 1: really separate? How do you interact? And I'm definitely one
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 1: of the guys. Um, you know, I've aside from the
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 1: fact that I have dresses. Uh, I'm one of the guys.
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 1: I think. Um, we actually looked out quite or I
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 1: don't know if we looked out, but we're a clean band. Um.
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: We all appreciate hygiene in this group, so we never
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 1: had to worry about that that kind of problem, um,
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 1: which I think would have been my my biggest complaint.
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 1: But no, as far as like traveling and touring and
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 1: living and um just being together. It's it, we're all
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 1: we're all very like minded. It's it's it's so just
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 1: it's very easy. It's very it's one, you know, big
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: family for even as cliche as that sounds, it really is.
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 1: And I think that, you know, just the longer every
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 1: year that goes by, the closer our bondas and the
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 1: and the the easier everything gets. And it's just it's
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 1: it's only gotten easier as time has gone on, which
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 1: I think probably isn't the case for every band. Okay,
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 1: so you talked about this hole you're win with drugs
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 1: and alcohol. Are you sober or do you still drink something?
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 1: I'm mostly sober, Um, I'm I never got into you know,
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 1: the programs um that just to teach their own um.
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 1: But I and I mean I occasionally all occasionally. First
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 1: I smoked weed, Um, so I smoked lots of weed.
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 1: But but no, I don't. I'm I'm mostly sober, like
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 1: very Okay, So you don't. I haven't had a drink
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 1: in two years. Okay, so a year and a half
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 1: or whatever. Well let's talk a little bit before that,
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 1: before all these tragedies. You play a gig, you're staying
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 1: in a hotel. One of the band members says, I'm
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 1: gonna go hang out at the bar. Are you gonna
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 1: go hang out at the bar? Oh? It's first of all,
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 1: the party. It's a really fun party until the party
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 1: takes its toll. You know, there's there's your way to
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 1: say it. Oh yeah, No, it was a blast in
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 1: the beginning, but you know, like anything, and it turns
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 1: on you. Okay, needless to say. Uh. Prior to cell
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 1: phone cameras, a lot of guys got into rock and
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 1: roll for the sexual opportunities, and they are legion. What's
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 1: your experience being on the road. Um, well, that's not
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 1: why I got into it, so it's probably different, you know,
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 1: different priorities. Um, I mean it's I don't know, it's
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 1: been pretty It's very isolated in one way, like touring is.
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 1: It's it's so his bubble and we're so focused on
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 1: the show itself that um hm, it's not like that.
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't like do I don't ask a
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 1: more specific question because I don't really know you have
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 1: a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Um, I'll leave you a guessing.
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know one, but let me ask generally, I
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 1: just don't like to looking for gossip here. Are you
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 1: someone who tends to go from a relationship to relationship
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 1: or someone who tends not to have a relationship, or
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 1: someone who has long spells in between? Um, I'm either No,
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 1: I'm certainly not a relationship to relationship person. I'm not
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 1: like I don't jump around. I'm a I'm a loyalist.
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 1: I'm a loyal person heart um, loyal with the people
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 1: I work with them, loyal with my personal relationships and
• 1:28:04
  Speaker 1: nuts um because I find you know, when you find
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 1: someone you can trust and truly be yourself around in
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 1: any capacity, whether that's romantic or business, you hang onto
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 1: that for dear life. So that's that's kind of how
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 1: I've always lived my life with very few people in
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 1: my life, but very close people. So what's more sexist
• 1:28:25
  Speaker 1: rock and roll or the TV business? Oh? Interesting question.
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 1: I don't know, they're probably like probably equal. I think
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 1: it depends on what you're talking about specifically. I mean, like,
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 1: there's there's definitely more women on television than there are
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 1: in rock and roll, But I don't know that that's
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 1: is that sexism or is that just that there's less
• 1:28:52
  Speaker 1: women in rock and roll because if you look at
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 1: the pop charts, it's all women. So I don't you
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 1: know women in music or I think I think the
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 1: sexism side of you if you listen to like Joan
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 1: Jet or someone who's um, you know, been doing this
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 1: for a very long time. I think that the the
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 1: sexist side of things has certainly changed over time. Like
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 1: I've never felt I've I've felt moments of sexism in
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 1: in music, but not to the degree that I think,
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 1: you know, women like Joan and stuff had to deal
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 1: with UM. It's much more I don't want to say inclusive.
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 1: But I also just I don't look at it like that,
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 1: Like I don't see myself as a a chicken a band.
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 1: I see myself as like I'm a I do what
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 1: you do. I see my as what all the guys do.
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 1: I don't see I don't see gender like that. And
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 1: you know, and I don't. All of my idols have
• 1:29:41
  Speaker 1: always been men, and it's not because they're men. It's
• 1:29:43
  Speaker 1: because I love their records, you know. It's it's not
• 1:29:46
  Speaker 1: so I've never looked at genders this kind of divide,
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: And maybe that's naive of me. But I just see
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 1: it as the best songs, the best song with the
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 1: best artis of the best artist. I want to be
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 1: like them. I want to be like that. And so
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't like to put the and only
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 1: to focus on that. And and so because I think
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 1: I don't focus on it, maybe I don't even notice
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 1: it when it's happening, if that makes sense. That makes sense.
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 1: But let's broaden it a little bit, just more of
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 1: a me too thing. Uh. Any woman, never mind, a
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 1: very attractive woman like yourself, has men hitting on them
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 1: all the time. Okay, and if you have a profile
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 1: first on a TV show, in a band, okay, that
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 1: is amplified. So almost everybody in those walks of life
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 1: has me two stories? Do you have? Me? Two stories?
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 1: I have? I have? I have uncouth and un Yeah,
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 1: I have uncouth encounters with with men, um of course.
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 1: But I also think that every it's unfortunate and it's
• 1:30:54
  Speaker 1: very sad. But I think that any woman of a
• 1:30:57
  Speaker 1: certain age has been very uncomfortable sexual situations and at
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 1: some point in their life. Um, probably most people have. Honestly, UM,
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 1: So I don't I again, I don't want to get
• 1:31:09
  Speaker 1: too into that. But of course, of course I've had
• 1:31:12
  Speaker 1: uncomfortable situations that you know, in inappropriate situations of things
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 1: that shouldn't have happened the way that they did. But
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 1: on as far as the like getting hit on and things,
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 1: I actually find it funny. I don't get hit on
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 1: very much at all, and I don't I don't know
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 1: if that's I think a part of that is because
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 1: I built this, like there's this protection around. I roll
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 1: around with four giant men with me all the time.
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 1: That's very intimidating, Like I have this force with by
• 1:31:36
  Speaker 1: being in a band of this of this crew of
• 1:31:38
  Speaker 1: people that I roll with all the time. So I'm
• 1:31:40
  Speaker 1: never I'm very protected in in this. Um. I don't
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 1: know what we're kind of imposing. I guess when we
• 1:31:49
  Speaker 1: were a force when we when we walk in together,
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 1: and I'm never really boy myself, so um it would
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 1: be so I just I don't think I experienced that
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 1: in the same way that maybe some people do. Thought, well,
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 1: what about everyday life. You're in New York City. I'm
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: in New York, but I'm I don't know, like I
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 1: love New York because it's you're in the middle of
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 1: a billion people, but you can also completely hide. Um
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 1: you know, it's in New York can be whatever you
• 1:32:15
  Speaker 1: wanted to be based on the minute. And that's why
• 1:32:18
  Speaker 1: I think it's so amazing that you can walk, you know,
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 1: one corner and walk one block and you're in the
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 1: heart of it all and turn another corner and you're
• 1:32:24
  Speaker 1: in the middle of nowhere. And I think that that's
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 1: so cool. And so it's it's very easy for me
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 1: to kind of hide and and live very normal normally
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 1: in in New York. And I don't know, especially with COVID,
• 1:32:36
  Speaker 1: I don't go out, I don't do anything. I'm a
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 1: homebody and very boring. Um so I'm yeah, it's I
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 1: go for long walks and you know, who are you
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 1: meeting on a walk? Would you ever say to yourself, Oh,
• 1:32:49
  Speaker 1: you know, I need food, but I'm not gonna go
• 1:32:52
  Speaker 1: to the market at this hour because I'm gonna have
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 1: to deal with the public there and people gonna you know,
• 1:32:56
  Speaker 1: try to hit on me or talk to me or whatever.
• 1:33:00
  Speaker 1: Um yeah, I mean, not the market. But there's certain
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 1: areas in New York, like if you don't want to
• 1:33:05
  Speaker 1: be photographed or you don't want to be bothered by
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 1: you know, paparazzi or ebayers or people like that, or
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 1: people who might notice you you don't go to soho
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 1: on a Saturday, like you know, there's there's areas where
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 1: you just you know, to avoid um. So, yes, there's
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 1: there's certainly times when you when you think that to yourself.
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 1: But as far as just like going to the grocery store, like,
• 1:33:26
  Speaker 1: I'm just a person will go to the grocery store.
• 1:33:28
  Speaker 1: I'm not that I'm not that fussy. Okay, how about
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 1: if you leave the house. You know, I was at
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 1: a private situation with a household name and who came
• 1:33:39
  Speaker 1: looking like she just walked out of, you know, a
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 1: movie set. And I said, this is a sentence. She's
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 1: known as a beauty. She has to leave her house
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 1: every day and make herself up by the same token.
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 1: I have another friend who was on television, went to
• 1:33:53
  Speaker 1: pick up food and somebody came up to said, aren't
• 1:33:55
  Speaker 1: you so and so said yeah, he said the person said,
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 1: you look like shit. So do you feel that pressure? God,
• 1:34:03
  Speaker 1: if I'm leaving the house, I gotta put my look on.
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 1: I certainly did when I was on television, when I
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 1: was on Gossip girl. I felt like I could. I
• 1:34:12
  Speaker 1: hated leaving I didn't leave the house with makeup. I
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 1: always had an output, an outfit together. Part of that,
• 1:34:17
  Speaker 1: I think was that I was young and I actually
• 1:34:20
  Speaker 1: really enjoyed expressing myself through fashion and makeup and things
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 1: like that from the visual standpoint. Um. But also I
• 1:34:27
  Speaker 1: knew it as my picture was gonna be taken and
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 1: when I walked outside, So who wants to look like
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 1: shit and photos? Um? But I think as I've gotten older,
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 1: I've become much more relaxed in general about image and
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 1: how I'm perceived and walking around New York and stuff.
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 1: I don't I don't care, I don't like. I mean again,
• 1:34:46
  Speaker 1: like I'm not going to go to one of the
• 1:34:47
  Speaker 1: areas of New York that there's always paparazzi hanging around
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 1: looking like crap, just because why would you do that
• 1:34:53
  Speaker 1: to yourself? But just like leaving my house in the
• 1:34:55
  Speaker 1: in the daytime, like I'll leave the house and looking
• 1:35:00
  Speaker 1: quite normal and very average. Okay, So if you're a homebody,
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 1: how you spending the time? You're watching television? You're reading books? Yeah?
• 1:35:09
  Speaker 1: Watching tv? I mean we uh, we haven't been home
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 1: from tour. Too long. So it's I'm actually just kind
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 1: of I've got a lot of errands and chores and
• 1:35:17
  Speaker 1: things that we're getting ready to leave again here soon.
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 1: So it's a lot of like unpacking and repacking and
• 1:35:23
  Speaker 1: things like that. Um, but yeah, I watched television playing music. Um.
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: I walk a lot. That's the other thing I do
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 1: in New York. I go for a mile long walks
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 1: every day and just um people watch and and enjoy
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 1: the city and the the energy that is that is
• 1:35:40
  Speaker 1: New York. That there. You know, I've literally been around
• 1:35:42
  Speaker 1: the world and there's no other place that even comes
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 1: close to it. Like I love New York so much.
• 1:35:47
  Speaker 1: It's so special and so different and so exciting and
• 1:35:51
  Speaker 1: so it's it's the best. And so I'm never bored
• 1:35:56
  Speaker 1: in the city because you can even if you're doing
• 1:35:58
  Speaker 1: absolutely nothing, just all you have to do is walk
• 1:36:00
  Speaker 1: outside and you you're watching a movie. Like is true.
• 1:36:05
  Speaker 1: But you know, living in I grew up in the
• 1:36:07
  Speaker 1: East Coast, fifty miles from New York City. But you know,
• 1:36:10
  Speaker 1: the East New Yorker comes to l a looks around us.
• 1:36:13
  Speaker 1: I don't get it. You know, you gotta use your car.
• 1:36:15
  Speaker 1: There's not this that New York City greatest city in
• 1:36:18
  Speaker 1: the world. In the world, buddy, Angelina would say, New
• 1:36:23
  Speaker 1: York City, greatest city in the world, but I'd rather
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 1: live in Los Angeles. Well, see, that's where I was
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 1: talking to Margaret before we started talking, and then I
• 1:36:32
  Speaker 1: was saying, Los Angeles is like that. I've all pretty
• 1:36:36
  Speaker 1: much all of my friends who used to live in
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 1: New York now live in l A. And they love it,
• 1:36:40
  Speaker 1: and they're constantly trying to convince me to move there.
• 1:36:42
  Speaker 1: They're going, you're crazy, you're missing out. It's beautiful, the weather.
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 1: And I go to Los Angeles. I stay there for
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 1: about a week. The first week, I'm going, this is amazing.
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 1: It's sunny every day. I know exactly. I don't need
• 1:36:52
  Speaker 1: to wear a jacket. I gotta it's awesome. The energy,
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 1: the vibe that's so positive and great. After about two weeks,
• 1:37:00
  Speaker 1: I'm so done and so ready to be Like for
• 1:37:03
  Speaker 1: the first two weeks, I'm ready to move there. By
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 1: the time third week comes around, I'm like, if you
• 1:37:07
  Speaker 1: don't get me back to New York City, I'm gonna
• 1:37:09
  Speaker 1: go absolutely crazy. I need the grit. I need the grime,
• 1:37:12
  Speaker 1: I need the I don't want to feel like I
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 1: have to wipe my feet when I walk outside to
• 1:37:17
  Speaker 1: make sure my shoes are clean for your sidewalks, like
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 1: I want, you know what I mean? I don't know.
• 1:37:22
  Speaker 1: There's just something about New York that I can't I'm
• 1:37:25
  Speaker 1: I fell in love with it when I was young,
• 1:37:27
  Speaker 1: and I just don't think i'll ever look I feel
• 1:37:29
  Speaker 1: about New York exactly about you know, you go to
• 1:37:31
  Speaker 1: the East Coast. God, why am I living in l
• 1:37:33
  Speaker 1: A blah blah blah. But after a period of time,
• 1:37:35
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to get back to l A. I
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 1: get it. Maybe one day, maybe one day, Los Angeles
• 1:37:42
  Speaker 1: will become my new home, but not yet. I also,
• 1:37:45
  Speaker 1: after spending five years in Maine um in the complete
• 1:37:48
  Speaker 1: and utter isolation, I think the the mayhem of New
• 1:37:52
  Speaker 1: York City is very refreshing. I was New York only
• 1:37:57
  Speaker 1: works if you can get out. Mhm. If you're an artist,
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 1: you don't have that much money, you're there seven week
• 1:38:03
  Speaker 1: after week, it becomes oppressive. Yeah, it certainly can if
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 1: you can get to Maine whatever. Okay, so whish. On
• 1:38:09
  Speaker 1: the other side, if you're spenting twenty hours a day,
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 1: I would see I would say. The opposite is spending
• 1:38:14
  Speaker 1: twenty hours a day in Maine became extraordinarily oppressive. Where
• 1:38:17
  Speaker 1: it was, it was torturous to be that one of
• 1:38:19
  Speaker 1: the few people's lived in the country. Now, granted I
• 1:38:22
  Speaker 1: lived in the country prior to Amazon, the Internet, I
• 1:38:26
  Speaker 1: mean FedEx, so you're living in the boonies. And then
• 1:38:30
  Speaker 1: the other thing I don't like about living in the countries,
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 1: everybody knows your name. I like the anonymity. Everybody you
• 1:38:36
  Speaker 1: don't know who I am. You don't know what I'm
• 1:38:38
  Speaker 1: up to. It's really you know, and you don't have
• 1:38:42
  Speaker 1: to say hi to the same person without talking to
• 1:38:44
  Speaker 1: him for twenty years. There's no small talk in the city.
• 1:38:47
  Speaker 1: It's the best, right right, Yeah. On the New York place,
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 1: it's oh yeah, good to see you. Okay, bye. So
• 1:38:56
  Speaker 1: you're in New York. Are your parents still in St. Louis? No, No,
• 1:39:00
  Speaker 1: my family we moved to uh we moved from St.
• 1:39:03
  Speaker 1: Louis when I was nine or ten ten um to
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 1: Maryland because my dad switched companies or jobs, and so
• 1:39:12
  Speaker 1: I lived in Maryland. Because my family still in Maryland,
• 1:39:15
  Speaker 1: I have to make that I don't know what what
• 1:39:19
  Speaker 1: does your she well she's very private and we'll let
• 1:39:25
  Speaker 1: me talk about her. Um, but she is doing Wait,
• 1:39:29
  Speaker 1: she she went to college. She's very smart, she's very
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 1: uh driven, she's very beautiful and sweet and wonderful, and
• 1:39:37
  Speaker 1: she's uh, she's currently in living life and figuring out
• 1:39:41
  Speaker 1: what she wants to do with it. Um but I
• 1:39:44
  Speaker 1: but she will literally kill me if I say anything
• 1:39:46
  Speaker 1: more than that. But she's doing great and she's on
• 1:39:49
  Speaker 1: her Okay. So, someone who spent all that time with
• 1:39:52
  Speaker 1: your mother and absent from your father, what's your relationship
• 1:39:55
  Speaker 1: with your parents now, both in quality and frequency. Um.
• 1:40:01
  Speaker 1: I don't see my family very often. Um, you know,
• 1:40:04
  Speaker 1: we have kind of a texting relationship. I guess. Uh,
• 1:40:09
  Speaker 1: they you know, have always been very supportive of what
• 1:40:12
  Speaker 1: I do. But I think that are you know, as I,
• 1:40:15
  Speaker 1: as I got older and kind of moved into my
• 1:40:18
  Speaker 1: own world of creation, Um, that they weren't really integral
• 1:40:24
  Speaker 1: in and a part of you know, we certainly drifted apart.
• 1:40:27
  Speaker 1: And so you know, I think our relationship is it's
• 1:40:30
  Speaker 1: all right, it's good, you know, it's it's fine, but
• 1:40:33
  Speaker 1: it's it's not super involved. You've had this career other
• 1:40:45
  Speaker 1: than Jared Leto and you may have more number ones.
• 1:40:48
  Speaker 1: You're the only person who really made success of the
• 1:40:51
  Speaker 1: last couple of decades was first on television, So you've
• 1:40:56
  Speaker 1: proved it. Yeah, staying party of that success. What do
• 1:40:58
  Speaker 1: you want now? Oh man, that's a really good question.
• 1:41:02
  Speaker 1: I should probably think about that more often. Uh, you
• 1:41:06
  Speaker 1: know what I want now? Um? I want to have
• 1:41:10
  Speaker 1: a good time all the time. That's what I want.
• 1:41:15
  Speaker 1: So that's that affairs. I want a good time all
• 1:41:17
  Speaker 1: the time. UM. I used to say the same thing
• 1:41:21
  Speaker 1: in my life at one point. I feel like it's
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 1: usually after the traumas hard. It's been some hard years
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 1: and I just want things to be easy and fun
• 1:41:30
  Speaker 1: and good and I want to have a good time, um,
• 1:41:34
  Speaker 1: which is why I and I mean that. And I'm
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 1: looking forward to the next couple of months because the
• 1:41:38
  Speaker 1: touring is a good time and I hope it remains
• 1:41:41
  Speaker 1: a good time before it's it's We're very excited to
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 1: get back out on the road and go to Europe again.
• 1:41:46
  Speaker 1: We haven't been to Europe and years and we're doing
• 1:41:48
  Speaker 1: that in October. And finally we're starting to transition into
• 1:41:52
  Speaker 1: becoming an arena band. We're playing our headlining our first
• 1:41:55
  Speaker 1: arenas in Europe, which is very exciting. So just I
• 1:41:58
  Speaker 1: just want everything to keep kind of growing and aggressing
• 1:42:00
  Speaker 1: and and moving forward in a in a positive good way.
• 1:42:05
  Speaker 1: And I and then I want to get back in
• 1:42:07
  Speaker 1: the studio and I want to make more music. I
• 1:42:09
  Speaker 1: want to make another record, and I want to, you know,
• 1:42:13
  Speaker 1: kind of not close this chapter, but um, you know,
• 1:42:16
  Speaker 1: but take a step forward from it, and I think
• 1:42:18
  Speaker 1: and and and just see where life's gonna take me.
• 1:42:22
  Speaker 1: I don't I mean, I don't. I don't know. I haven't.
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 1: I don't have it all planned out. But um but
• 1:42:27
  Speaker 1: I would like to continue to make music, and I
• 1:42:30
  Speaker 1: would like to continue to better myself as an as
• 1:42:32
  Speaker 1: an artist and as a person and and do that
• 1:42:35
  Speaker 1: on a you know, minutely and daily basis. What do
• 1:42:40
  Speaker 1: you think about the game, Because a lot of artists,
• 1:42:43
  Speaker 1: especially in rock, bitch about the game, the streaming, Spotify,
• 1:42:47
  Speaker 1: the playlist, the payments, the radio. But um, well, I
• 1:42:54
  Speaker 1: read your letters on it all the time. I think
• 1:42:58
  Speaker 1: that I think that I haven't gotten to involved in it.
• 1:43:04
  Speaker 1: And that might sound stupid, but I think that I
• 1:43:07
  Speaker 1: just try to. I think that I think that you've
• 1:43:11
  Speaker 1: got to make I don't know what I think. I
• 1:43:13
  Speaker 1: don't think. I don't think I'm smart enough to talk
• 1:43:15
  Speaker 1: about this one to you. That's what I think. I
• 1:43:18
  Speaker 1: think that I don't know enough, even though I should
• 1:43:20
  Speaker 1: because I've been doing this a long time. I don't
• 1:43:22
  Speaker 1: think I know enough to speak in a in a
• 1:43:27
  Speaker 1: in a conversation. But is it something that bothers you?
• 1:43:34
  Speaker 1: Yes and no, But I don't know that it bothers
• 1:43:37
  Speaker 1: me on a on a specifically, I bought streaming. Is
• 1:43:41
  Speaker 1: this weird thing? I have this love hate relationship with
• 1:43:44
  Speaker 1: streaming where, you know, in one way, I think it's
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 1: wonderful that everyone has immediate access to here music and
• 1:43:51
  Speaker 1: you know, I you streaming. I listened to it. I'm guilty, um,
• 1:43:55
  Speaker 1: you know, because it's so accessible, it's right there, um.
• 1:43:58
  Speaker 1: And I think that that's wonderful because music should be
• 1:44:00
  Speaker 1: shared and appreciated and listened to at nauseam. On the
• 1:44:03
  Speaker 1: other hand, I am, you know, call me old school.
• 1:44:06
  Speaker 1: I really appreciate the album, and I you know, that's
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 1: what I grew up with. That's what I love where
• 1:44:11
  Speaker 1: you really kind of delve into the art in this deeper,
• 1:44:14
  Speaker 1: more meaningful way when you listen to records and it's
• 1:44:17
  Speaker 1: and it's not this fleeting, quick little thing. It's it's
• 1:44:20
  Speaker 1: something that's important and it has value um past past
• 1:44:24
  Speaker 1: just a fiscal value, but like it has it has
• 1:44:26
  Speaker 1: actual value, has physical weight when you're holding your hands.
• 1:44:29
  Speaker 1: It has importance and and it's you know, it's it's
• 1:44:33
  Speaker 1: like a it's a film, like it's it's it's worth something,
• 1:44:36
  Speaker 1: and it's it's soulful and there's something to that that
• 1:44:39
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's getting lost in the modern paradigm
• 1:44:41
  Speaker 1: of music where you're you're missing this it's it's so
• 1:44:46
  Speaker 1: it's so much, it's so much all the time that
• 1:44:49
  Speaker 1: I think that the importance of what music can be
• 1:44:53
  Speaker 1: is getting lost to a degree, or can get lost
• 1:44:57
  Speaker 1: in a in an easier way. Um, whereas the you know,
• 1:45:01
  Speaker 1: the album was something that encapsulates a time period in
• 1:45:05
  Speaker 1: a moment in life, and you know of that artist
• 1:45:08
  Speaker 1: where you can really get inside the artist's mind and
• 1:45:11
  Speaker 1: and understand them, and by understanding them, you you understand
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 1: yourself more. And you know, it's that whole symbiotic relationship
• 1:45:17
  Speaker 1: with music and being a listener that I think is
• 1:45:21
  Speaker 1: starting to get kind of dolled down because the importance
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 1: of records and albums. With streaming, importance of music itself
• 1:45:30
  Speaker 1: is becoming, so there's so much of it, I think.
• 1:45:33
  Speaker 1: But I think it's the same thing with television too,
• 1:45:35
  Speaker 1: Like there's just there's so much accessibility and there's so
• 1:45:37
  Speaker 1: much product that it's overwhelming, and it's hard to find
• 1:45:41
  Speaker 1: the real gems that that can change you as a person. Instead,
• 1:45:46
  Speaker 1: you're you're infiltrated with, you know, a flux of tons
• 1:45:50
  Speaker 1: of stuff that that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I
• 1:45:53
  Speaker 1: don't I don't know. I I know that I still,
• 1:45:56
  Speaker 1: even though I'm guilty of using streaming, and I still
• 1:45:58
  Speaker 1: use streaming to listen to the records that I that
• 1:46:00
  Speaker 1: I've always listened to. So I don't know. I don't
• 1:46:03
  Speaker 1: really know what I think of it. I think that
• 1:46:06
  Speaker 1: I think it depends on what you grew up with
• 1:46:07
  Speaker 1: and how you how you use it, because I also
• 1:46:10
  Speaker 1: think everyone uses streaming differently, so it's I don't think
• 1:46:13
  Speaker 1: that you can put a blanket um some up with
• 1:46:16
  Speaker 1: streaming good or streaming bad. I think it depends on
• 1:46:18
  Speaker 1: the on the person and specifically what you know artist
• 1:46:22
  Speaker 1: or moment or thing that you're talking about Okay, so
• 1:46:26
  Speaker 1: there's a great queen song which doesn't get that much airplay,
• 1:46:29
  Speaker 1: but I love it, which is I want it all,
• 1:46:32
  Speaker 1: I want it all, I want it all, I want
• 1:46:34
  Speaker 1: it all, I want it now. Okay, so I was
• 1:46:39
  Speaker 1: literally listening to that like three days ago. I'm forgetting
• 1:46:43
  Speaker 1: Traditionally musicians would sacrifice money to have more people other
• 1:46:49
  Speaker 1: than Gene Simmons, but have more people listen to their music.
• 1:46:54
  Speaker 1: Do you say, well, you know Spotify tip top fifty,
• 1:46:57
  Speaker 1: it's hip hop and pop. But shure that's where I
• 1:47:00
  Speaker 1: want to be. No, no, no, no, I I mean
• 1:47:05
  Speaker 1: I no, because I don't fit on that list. Um,
• 1:47:09
  Speaker 1: I make a different kind of music. I think that
• 1:47:12
  Speaker 1: I would love for you know, our band The Pretty
• 1:47:15
  Speaker 1: Reckless and you know rock and Roll two be at
• 1:47:20
  Speaker 1: the forefront of those lists. Sure, I would love for
• 1:47:23
  Speaker 1: you know, the whole world to think that rock and
• 1:47:25
  Speaker 1: roll is the greatest thing in the world, because I
• 1:47:26
  Speaker 1: think they should think that, um and have it be
• 1:47:29
  Speaker 1: you know, the most played, most popular thing in the world.
• 1:47:32
  Speaker 1: But you know, but I'm also understand that it's not
• 1:47:36
  Speaker 1: always that. It's not that simple because it's not crafted
• 1:47:39
  Speaker 1: for that. It's not meant for that, that's not what
• 1:47:41
  Speaker 1: rock and roll is. Rock and roll is it's meant
• 1:47:44
  Speaker 1: for the underdogs. It's meant for the you know, the
• 1:47:47
  Speaker 1: the people are trying to find their place and you know,
• 1:47:50
  Speaker 1: are a little more. Yeah, and I don't I don't
• 1:47:53
  Speaker 1: like to sum everyone up in one thing. But you know,
• 1:47:56
  Speaker 1: it's it's smart, it's thoughtful, it requires thoughts. It's meant
• 1:48:00
  Speaker 1: to make you think. It's meant to make you feel
• 1:48:01
  Speaker 1: in a real way. Um, and that's not what people
• 1:48:05
  Speaker 1: want all the time, like which you know, it's that
• 1:48:08
  Speaker 1: pop music is very accessible and you can put it
• 1:48:11
  Speaker 1: on in the background. I'm not trying to make background music.
• 1:48:14
  Speaker 1: It's just not what I do. Okay, going back to
• 1:48:18
  Speaker 1: social media, we've established that you keep part of yourself
• 1:48:22
  Speaker 1: removed from social media. But to what degree do you
• 1:48:26
  Speaker 1: post which platforms? You do it yourself or you have
• 1:48:30
  Speaker 1: a team, And then what are your thoughts about TikTok um? Well,
• 1:48:37
  Speaker 1: I I run all my own socials. I'm pretty terrible
• 1:48:40
  Speaker 1: at it. I still like but no, it's it's me
• 1:48:44
  Speaker 1: like Instagram and Twitter and uh and Facebook is linked
• 1:48:48
  Speaker 1: to Instagram and Twitter. Those are all me directly posting.
• 1:48:52
  Speaker 1: Um and then the band sites are the four of
• 1:48:55
  Speaker 1: us posting, so we all have logins to those. UM
• 1:48:59
  Speaker 1: and TikTok is something that you know, everyone in the
• 1:49:03
  Speaker 1: industry says you should be on and get on, jump
• 1:49:06
  Speaker 1: on board with I have one I have at Taylor
• 1:49:08
  Speaker 1: Momson on TikTok. I don't have a lot of posts
• 1:49:11
  Speaker 1: because I haven't quite figured it out. And uh, but
• 1:49:14
  Speaker 1: you know, I think it's it's just content, right, That's all.
• 1:49:18
  Speaker 1: That's all anything is. It's just constantly posting something that's
• 1:49:22
  Speaker 1: kind of how I see it. And so I just
• 1:49:23
  Speaker 1: try to focus that on UM sharing a little bit
• 1:49:27
  Speaker 1: of my life and what I'm doing, but you know,
• 1:49:28
  Speaker 1: keeping it focused on on the art and the music
• 1:49:31
  Speaker 1: and UM, you know that side of things, because that's
• 1:49:35
  Speaker 1: that's what I want to share. But is there anybody
• 1:49:38
  Speaker 1: on your team or yourself who says, oh, there's a
• 1:49:41
  Speaker 1: track on this album and if I cut us ten
• 1:49:44
  Speaker 1: second spot with this, there's a chance that'll catch on.
• 1:49:48
  Speaker 1: Oh no, we're not that calculated. I probably should get
• 1:49:51
  Speaker 1: someone on my team that things like that though. With
• 1:49:55
  Speaker 1: the Internet is moving so quickly, I should probably get
• 1:49:57
  Speaker 1: someone who's on it. Okay, Taylor, I think we've come
• 1:50:01
  Speaker 1: to the end of the feeling we've known. I want
• 1:50:04
  Speaker 1: to thank you so much for taking this time. I'm
• 1:50:07
  Speaker 1: glad that you're back from your unfortunate hole in the world,
• 1:50:12
  Speaker 1: but good to talk to you. It's great to talk
• 1:50:15
  Speaker 1: to you. Thank you so much for doing this, Bob,
• 1:50:16
  Speaker 1: It's it's I've been reading you for years and it's
• 1:50:18
  Speaker 1: so nice to finally speak to you semi face to face.
• 1:50:23
  Speaker 1: You bet Okay, until next time. This is Bob Left
• 1:50:28
  Speaker 1: Sex