Latest / I Do, Part 2 / LOVE STORIES: Bachelor Nation’s Ashley Iaconetti Haibon and Jared Haibon

Transcript

LOVE STORIES: Bachelor Nation’s Ashley Iaconetti Haibon and Jared Haibon · I Do, Part 2

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, there, everybody, and welcome to Amy and TJ, where
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: we are continuing our love Stories series. We are talking
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: to couples from all different walks of life about what
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: makes their relationship work.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: And next up on the series are two.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Very familiar faces for those of you who are Bachelor
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Nation fans, Ashley Iichinetti Hibon and Jared Hibond. Their relationship
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: is an interesting one because they first met, or at
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: least they were both in Bachelor season nineteen for Ashley
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: and season eleven for Jared. But they met on Bachelor
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: in Paradise in season two. But guess what, Ashley got
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: friend zoned And in fact, Ashley and Jared were friends
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: for nearly three years before they officially began dating. Their
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: story is an interesting one. They're now a married couple
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: of six years.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: With two kids.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Here is Ashley II Connetti hi Bond and Jared Hibond's
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: love story.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories.
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: All right, and Ashley and Jared are with us.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: We're gonna start with question one, which is the one
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: guys that seems to trip up our couple's most The
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: first question so here it is we want both of
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: you to answer and since Ashley, you were laughing the most.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna start with you. It's I love those five
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: words or less. It can be a phrase, it can
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: be individual words, but five words or less describe you
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: all's relationship today.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Well we have great communication.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: Alright, communication?
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, we have a great friendship. We make
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: fun of each other a lot. It's definitely chaos and balancing.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: Balanced.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: I thought it was.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: I thought it was five phrases. Well at it with chaotic,
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Well it with chaotic, but obviously also loving.
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: I heard loving, friendship, comforting, chaotic, and there was something else.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: That the communicating communications chaotic, loving, friendship and supportive.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: All right, j so did not tell you all? This
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: was always a fun question.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: Go ahead, jar you want to think of five different words,
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: but those are good ones. I would say, uh, supportive
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: that was the first word.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Are we allowed to copy?
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, of course great, supportive, loving This is two words.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: But you know, self deprecating, Okay, that's good.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: That's about making fun of each.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: Other, humbling.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: And uh.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, cohesive. See this is that is our relationship in
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: a nutshell. She'll tell me the word and then I
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: just spit it out.
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: That's cohesion, Yes, exactly.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Work makes the dream work. So many people do know
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: your love story because it played out on national television.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: I was just telling you I watched that first Bachelor
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: in Paradise where the two of you all you were
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: not wrote necessarily romantic, it was you had a lot
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: of ups and downs. So can you give people who
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: don't know your story the timeline? How long did you
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: date before you got engaged? Probly, you actually probably have
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: to start? How long were you friends before you started dating,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: before you got engaged, before you got married?
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: I'll start it. So I saw a picture of him
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: and I was like, I'd want him in Paradise. Saw
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: him in Paradise, and then I was like, I'm in
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: love with that man. I am the ultimate romantic, but
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I wasn't sure if I believed in love at first sight.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: But then when I saw him, I did believe in it,
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: and so I was totally uncool, obsessed and uncool, And
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: somehow he still thought like I would be like a
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: nice friend even though I was so nervous around him,
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: but he only had friendship vibes initially, and then I
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: think he's after like knowing me in real life so
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: this is like knowing each other for three months. That's
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: when he started seeing me in a different way because
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: I was being more myself, and then it got really
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: complicated for like two years. Yeah, and because why you
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: want to explain.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: That borderline toxic probably unhealthy, not toxic.
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: So what we met on sardis Ashley and I always
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: when I was ever around Ashley, I always felt very calming.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: I felt very calm.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: It's so crazy because I was.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: I just think there are certain people. I'm she hates
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: me for saying this. I don't know if I necessarily
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: believe it like one sold me. I mean, I understand,
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: but I definitely feel like there are people that you
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: just there are certain vibes that you get from other people,
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: and I definitely got those vibes from actually where we
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: just we mesh. We mesh very well. We always have,
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: even when in the beginning of Paradise, you know, I'm
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: someone who tries to really uh like commer heads prevail
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: and think things through. And so of course this woman
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: on Bachelor and Paradise who just meets me within five minutes,
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: She's like, it's either you or nothing, and I'm like, Okay,
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: let's settle down here for the rest of my life. Like,
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: but yeah, so then we always we we crossed the
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: friendship boundary like a few months in and then went back.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: Because so that really messes with my psychic.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Well of course it well should. It's because it's a
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: very weird time and you get after you go on Bachelor,
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: you know, you just get thrown into this fame and
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: it really just IM just trying to like transport myself
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: back to that time where it was just a confusing time.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: And so anyway, then we were just strictly friends. I'm
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: sure I did. I was twenty seven years old, you know,
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: but guys are stupid. I'm not above this. But long
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: story short, that we were long story long, I know,
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: strictly friends for about a year and a half. And
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: that's when it became an issue because we both there
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: were definitely more feelings than just friendship feelings. But we
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: were never dating anybody else, so it was kind of
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: like we were dating but never physical with each other.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: But we would talk to each other every single day and.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: And then you know, okay, basically all it did was
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: all I had to do was get a boyfriend, and
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: that I was like, okay, it's time.
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: Okay, that's a long story short. Thank you.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Jealous and realized what he is missing.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: Exactly pretty much.
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: Okay, that was some point to put it. Okay, can
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: we go back too, said I love you first?
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: Oh he said it first, shocking, I know, yeah, but
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: I wasn't gonna I was not going to do that.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Now, at that point, you had already showed your hand.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: You're like, uh, I think you know how I feel
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: like you?
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I had to prove myself way more than her.
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah. Going back to uh, how long was the engagement?
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: So long we were the engagement was fine, It was
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: uh fourteen by the time we actually started actually dating. Yeah,
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: five five months.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: You know, it was fourteen months of engagement to marriage.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: But before we got engaged with yeah, it was four
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: months of dating, not even we had known each other
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: for three years at that point. How we and we
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: were basically dating without touching is what I.
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: Have that look. I have to ask this follow up
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: because a lot of young couples are looking at you
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: all and are very curious about that moment you said
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: where there was some foolishness. I think you said toxic,
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: but you said No, it was just unhealthy. Describe what
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: that was for you guys, what that ruggle was, because
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: you know a lot of young couples dealing with the
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: egos and who's this and how much do I put
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: myself out there? And is he for real?
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: She?
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: So really, what was that thing that was causing such
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: a problem?
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I think the most simple way of saying
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: it is Jared knew that if he was going to
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: start dating me that he had to marry me. Like
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: he knew that we weren't going to have a relationship
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: where it was just going to be like, oh, we
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: can see where this goes. So he like had to
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: kind of be ready to propose by the time he
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: said let's start dating.
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: It was very serious.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: Well, I think also from our experience just being on
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: the Bachelor, you go in this environment, and in this
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: environment it's very much hey, listen, you're dating to get married.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: That is the purpose of this, that is the goal.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: And so I think for Ashley and I, especially with
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: our relationship and how intense it was, it was always
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: going to be this is either we date to get
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: married or we don't date at all. And I think
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: that led to a lot of hesitation on my end,
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: and then when it became unhealthy, was that clearly anybody
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: who was around us knew, guys, there's something more here
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: than just friendship. But we never crossed that.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: Well, we did cross it early early on.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: But later on when it became unhealthy, we never crossed it.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: And so if we were on dates with other people
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: or if we were actually trying to find someone to
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: be with, that wasn't one of us. I mean, we like,
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: we would have to end the friendship because if you
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: were if somebody started dating Ashley, there's no way they
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: would want her to be friends with me. And I
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: don't blame them one bit, And just like if someone
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: started dating me, they'd be like, listen, I don't want
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: you talking to Ashley every single day.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I respect that and not to take this
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: question and keep running with it. But it really did
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: happen like that where I did end up having somebody
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: that I was dating met him through the show and
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, we've had this vacation plan with
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: my friends for so long, Like we've been just friends
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: for two years. I literally haven't kissed him for two years,
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Like nothing's gonna happen like it's okay, like he doesn't
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: like me, and then I go down to Saint Lucia
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: for this group friend thing and that's when he confesses
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: his love and yeah, so see did he show he
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: kissed me in the airport in a dramatic movie way?
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, very nice.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: I love pulled me out of the boarding line.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I had to make a splash, you know, well done, But.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: It was it was it was overdue and so it
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: had to be dramatic. That makes sense, it was overdue.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: I'm just speaking.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Very theatric.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: We always ask, but I think we know the answer here.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: What the role of friendship is in your relationship? How
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: important is it that you all were friends? And what
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: do you think that time where you were just friends?
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: How has that played into the success of your marriage?
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Now first you go.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: First, it's played in the success of our marriage because.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: I've never had a real relationship before him, So I
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: don't even know how a friend, how a dating relationship
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: is when you're not friends with somebody.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: First, I think we we never really argue, we get
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: into confrontations, but like I can't remember the last time
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: we actually like raised.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: I think I can think the last time.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: Okay, but it does go very it's very very infrequent.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: But my point saying that is because I think our
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: friendship really we learned how to be ourselves individually around
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: each other, and so there was never that early on.
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: I mean, there was always the awkwardness, but we really
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: were able to learn, Like I know, I can read
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: her in a bunch of different ways, and she can
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: read me in a bunch of different ways. Where we're
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: very comfortable being in the same room. But also even
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: if we're in the same room, it kind of feels
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: like we're alone at times, because that's in a relationship,
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: as everybody knows. Yeah, and it could be you definitely
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: need your separation at times, but we're able to be
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: together and separated at the same time. That makes sense.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, Like I always said, I was like, I
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: don't know if I want to live with someone. I
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: live with someone that sounds like it sucks, but I
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: have to say that when I'm in the same room
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: with him, it feels like I'm alone in a good way.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, do you know what I mean?
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: Like he actually didn't understand.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, together twenty four to seven, work together friends for
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: years before we're actually like a lot of this is
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: resonating with us completely.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: So that's what we miss about having before we had kids.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: If we have to like say the things we missed
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: before having kids, it's definitely, well, I miss watching TV
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: and just like binge watching TV on the weekend, but
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: together as a couple, like we used to just like
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: play all day, you know what I mean, Like we
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: were just like, let's go to the gym, let's say coffee,
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: listen it and we're just like you know, in the
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: car like bop it and listen to music and podcasts.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: And we don't like get like that fun worked up
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: because we used you know, the social media work is
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: like very much of a collaboration thing with us, and
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: it's just not like, oh, let's make this real, it'd
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: be funny and silly, and it's like.
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: We have we mentioned arguments you've talked about, Jared. We're
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: gonna get into a section here about fights and disagree
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: But first you said you don't have big kickout and
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: drag out fights, but the daily disagreements do you have
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: a little For some they say, hey, the thermometer, the temperature,
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: or others say you're not cleaning up on those are
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: minor things. Do you all have a little daily disagreement
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: and annoyance that's not going to be a marriage deal breaker,
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: but still annoy the hell out of each other every day.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: Thicker, I don't do dishes like I like, I'll do
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: the dishes once a week. He is a dishman, and
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: I know that, like secretly. When he's doing the dishes
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: in the morning from dinner the night before, he's thinking
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: about it.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: He's thinking about, no, yeah, you're not gonna like my answer,
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: you're gonna get so oh what it's just because you
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: don't think you are. He thinks that I'm messy, You're
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: a little messy.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: But I think that I'm only messy since having kids
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: because I've like never been messy. I've always had like
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: our places always looks so good, and then we had
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: kids and it's just like kind of like my second.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: My third priority now like her side of the bed,
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: like your.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Side of the bed also has so many things on
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: the tabletop and it drives me nuts. And look at
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: your drawers. My drawers are organized. They have the organized things.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: You shove months old newspapers in yours.
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: I mean.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: For yeah, well I do get annoyed when my own nightstand.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: You're projecting your own securities because you know you're a
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: little messy.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: That's all right, denying that. I can be assage sometimes now,
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: but before we had kids, our places will always.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: I would agree. I don't disagree with one bit.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: This is hilarious. I love it. I think so many
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: people listening are so again resonating this is this is
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: what what relationships are like. But it's cool that you're
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: comfortable enough to be able to have those little jebs.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: How long have you all been married? Now?
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: So many?
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: Was there a best year so far?
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: I'm not this is not like this is a pause
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: in a good way, but I think probably the first year.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: It's hard because we I mean, you guys have kids,
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: so you know how difficult it could be when they're
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: so young, and how stressful it is. You know, we
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: have two boys and they are the most wonderful beings alive.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: But they are alive. So it's weird because when you
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: say the best year of our marriage, well, I think
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: about our relationship and like, before kids, how enthusiastic we
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: were and young and energetic, and we'd be able to
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: do we'd be able to go to concerts or like
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: lay on the beach and like we were definitely more romantics.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: Having said that, it's so hard not to say rate
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: now because I know it's well, I know, because I
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: know we're going to miss these years so much, how
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: stressful they are. But like Dawson and Hayden are Dawson
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: and Hayter are two sons.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: But this is a great family time.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: But that's what I mean, Like in eighty I guess
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: I'm taking the question by like in fifty years, would
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: I rather go back to this time right now or
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: before kids? And I feel like I'd say this time
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: because I would want the boys.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: That's awesome, Yes, young kids, it is. It is a
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: like not just a full time job. It's like all
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: we totally get has with all of the ups and
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: downs in your relationship. It's maybe it was just one
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: down and then all up. But has there ever come
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: a point where it just got so bad you were
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: ready or almost ready thinking about calling it quits.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: No, No, I'd say the worst time was when she
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: was pregnant.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: Yet there was no there was nothing that was close
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: to quitting. But he was in a weird phase.
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: It was just we opened a business. Our first son
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: was was difficult. We were not sleeping. She was pregnant.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: With the second one, it was another boy. It was
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: just it was it was a hard time. It was difficult.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: That's all right, that's honest.
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: That's a that's an honest answer. A couple of things
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: around the house. I think I understood just a moment ago.
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: Who's not going to be doing a lot of cleaning.
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: Understand the dishes, but household charge dishes, cooking, laundry cleaning?
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: How does that go? Who handles that stuff? How do
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: you divide it up?
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: Actually it Ashley cooks way more than me.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: I cook. He does probably more laundry than me, just
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: because he likes to do like one load at a time.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: And I'd rather just like have a day when we
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: like cycled.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: To our life right now, we're going to have to
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: like clean it dry and then we have to put
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: it away. If we keep it in the laundry bin,
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: we don't have to put it away.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I do it as we go because it's cleaner
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: and it's neatter. Because Ashley's way of doing things is
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: she it is like a chunk. It is a bomb
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: went off in the house, like even laundry, Like last yesterday,
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: I come home from work and they were just clothes
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: on the floor in front of the washer, And I
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: have no idea if they're dirty or clean. So I'm like,
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: I'm just gonna wash them again. But I know Ashley's
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: way of thinking, like in her head it's organized because
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: she knows what that is, regardless. But so she cooks,
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: I do dishes and more laundry, but she does someone.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: And then like I do more of Like he'll never
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: think to change the sheets. He'll sleep in the same sheets,
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean. But he is more who doesn't.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: He's more often the one to make the bad But
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: I'm the one who's gonna like think, oh, there's soap
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: scum in our kid's bathtub. He would never think.
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: How often do you guys change your bed sheets?
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: No idea?
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: But I would say, because right now we just move
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: to a place that doesn't have a washer and dryer,
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: so we have to send everything out, which I don't know,
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: just wires, more planning. Yeah, So I would say maybe
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: once every two weeks is when I try to do it.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: But I should do it once a week.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: That's a max Yeah, should definitely not go more than
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: two weeks. It should be one. It should be once
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: a week.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: It should be once a week when I was, when
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: I was once a month.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: That is yucky, mister clean, like you wouldn't even wear
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: your shirts two days in a row.
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, who does that? Don't get Yeah, once I'm in bed,
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: I'm clean in bed, it's just me sure. If I'm
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: out in the public, it's other people's germs. Sheets are
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: just my germs.
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: Good.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: Do you all have any rules when you do argue
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: or have a disagreement, as in, we never go to
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: bed angry? Yeah, no cursing, no name calling, you have
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: no threatening to leave. I'm done with you, I'm done
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: with Do you all have any rules when you disagree?
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we've never named I was about to say I
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: never ever.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, he would get so much ship if there was
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: name going.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: Again, I ever called her a name, that would be gosh,
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: bad dude.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: We've never gone to bed angry either. I want to
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: make sure that we never do that.
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: Usually resolve it before bed, and even if it's not
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: fully resolved, like we'll talk about it the next day,
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: but before we go to bed. It's like, listen, you know,
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: I'm the one that usually apologizes first.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he usually does because his fault.
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: He knows better, because I know better. It's definitely a
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: lot of times, it's uh, it's definitely both of our
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: faults and majority of times because.
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: It's always the case.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: Yes, it's just the truth is always somewhere in the middle.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: But I also recognize that it's certainly not worth because I, like,
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: I don't want to be pissing and moaning either, and
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: like the I want this to be resolved as soon
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: as possible, and one of the ways to do that
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: is if I take action and I apologize and yeah,
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: I'm okay with that.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: He can move on faster than I can.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: So I think that when he initiated, I don't hold
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: on to grudges, No, and like he.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: Really truly doesn't care after an hour, and I'm like, okay, well,
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: I'm glad you don't care because I do. But as
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: long as you say sorry, I'm right and move on.
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: It's not a guy. That's not a guy. Girl. We
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: talked to a lot of couples and it's I am
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: the way you are. Actually, I'm like, you take me forever.
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: And she's.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Even like thirty minutes. I'm like, life is short. I
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: cannot I can't stand feeling like conflict or I can't
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: stand that feeling there whatever, I'm just done. I don't
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: care like that is, but he needs a day sometimes
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: it's crazy.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: I do as long as he apologize, as long as
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: he says like I'm sorry, I love you. It's usually
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: what he does, I love you. And then I'm like,
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: it's powerful. That's but the cursing I have to do.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: I mentioned because it's usually the cursing that actually starts
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: the fight. Yeah, I agree, he escalates whatever little like
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: whatever we're having with a curse. It's not directed, I mean,
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: not like fu but like he'll be like and I'll
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: be like this.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: I don't know if I'll just like, instead of being
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: like this sucks, I'll just say this fing sucks, and
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: like the difference between this sucks and this sucks like
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: is a big difference. And as soon as I say it,
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: my damn it. But it's just because it's just the
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: New England and me, you know.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: But we have talked to the couples who that was one.
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: They said that was an absolute rule, do not curse,
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: because no matter what's happening that's going to escalate no
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: matter what, So you all are not alone in the.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, what do you think of couples who say they
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: never fight?
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: I mean, like there's I remember, like a couple of
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: months ago, there's like celebrity couples that likely did it,
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: and it was like couples that have never fought, And
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: I'm like, does that mean that they I guess, you
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: know what, I don't think we really ever fought until
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: Are just I don't even think they just they fight
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: in different ways. And yeah, I.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: Wouldn't say it's a fight. I would say it's a
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: disagreement or like a yeah, it's not really a fight.
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: Like we never raise our voices, we don't call each
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: other names, like we always do a very good job
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: of resolving things. We never really argue. But I would
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: never say we don't fight, or just the way we
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: fight is different than the way other couples fight.
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, have you all ever gone to couple's therapy? And
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: what do you think about the idea of it?
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: We have it, but I've wanted to at points and
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: I like the fact that, like you, I like it
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: as a maintenance thing. Because we have so many friends
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: that have like the best marriages, but they all go
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: to couple's therapy, and I think it's just kind of
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: like a workout for your relationship.
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I'm fine with it. I'm just don't
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: like therapy. I'm just going to so much therapy, like
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: individual therapy, and it's just like I don't know how
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: much help it's really given.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: I wanted to go to help him with himself, is
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: like maybe we can go together and help you.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So that's what that's the issue. I know, if
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: we go to the couple's therapy, it's all gonna be
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: about me. Like I'm the one with get him to
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: go the construction zone. Got me that needs remodeling, you
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: know what I mean, her house is going to be built,
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: she's got a backyard. It's like, but I'm the one
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: that's like dilapidated and needs fixed.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: But I'm totally down to go. But yeah, he's just
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: not a huge fan. He's a New England guy.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: I can totally. I wouldn't totally go. I would absolutely go.
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: Okay, we haven't we haven't either.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: We did one on Zoom and you basically did not participate.
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: You were just like this because I was to go
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: tell the lady, tell him the lady. You didn't I
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: can either neither was she was.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: Talking to us like we were kindergarteners. I see how
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: that must make you feel. It was like, please, this
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: is not gonna work.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: That's probably why he doesn't like it, because like you
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: have to date therapists to find the right one.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: I also, I also think zoom. I just I can't
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: do zoom because I need to be out of my
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: own element. Like if I'm in my house, like, yeah,
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: I'm like Ashley's gonna hear everything I'm saying, probably so
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: I feel like I have to like whisper. And then also,
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: just like I'm in my environment, I'd rather be in
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: someone else's room, like surrounded by you know, the smell
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: of mahogany and books, and just like feel more comfortable
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: and be like and then then maybe I'll let loose
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: a little bit more.
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: That actually makes sense. Here's a tip she can tell you.
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: When she does her therapy sessions at the house. She
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: goes to the back, she closes the door, puts on
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: a white noise machine, requires me to play a movie
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: very loud in the front and music in the back.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: Because otherwise I would not like when he goes to
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: the bathroom. True.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Do you also you mentioned you have a lot of friends,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: which is pretty cool, that have great marriages. They're in therapy.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: You say, but are there mistakes you've seen other couples make?
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: And we asked this question in the sense that other
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: people are listening to these episodes with folks who have
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: figured things out and are wondering, what do you see
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: in other couples and think, man, they're doing something. If
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: they could only change this or if they just avoided that,
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: their relationship would be better.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: I see a lot of I can actually answer the opposite.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: I see a few of our friends on Instagram, not
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: that we like interact with the whole bunch, but and
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: they like really prioritize date night. Yeah, and we need
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: to do that better.
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: I think we don't prioritize us as a husband and
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: wife over us as mom and dad. We definitely prioritize
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: us as being parents over our relationship.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I know that's like, actually not what you're
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: supposed to do, which feels really weird when you have
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: a one and a half year old and a four
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: year old.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: But I do think that that, like we are very
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: focused on the four of us right now, the two
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: kids in us, and so that really puts our focus
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: as us too in a relationship on the back burner. Yeah,
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: but it's definitely kind of a little bit of a
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: conscious decision that we both made because there's only so
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: much time in the day. But in terms of other couples,
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: I'd say, like, I just think the supportive thing is
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: what comes back to me if I see other couples
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: and like you can tell the little like bickering or
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: like I'll see a buddy of mine where it's like, bro,
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: just like what's a good example I'm trying to Like
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: if the kid needs something, you know, and like he
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: it's like just get it, just bro, just get it.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: Like don't like she's busy, just get it and then
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: it's over, you know. But he'll make a point of
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: being like, no, I'm not getting it. She needs to
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: get it, or like like it's always it's the point,
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean. That's what I see in
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: other couples. It's like they'll they'll they'll be so stubborn
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: to get their point across. It's like, bro, if you
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: just do it, it's over, and she'll she'll feel guilty,
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: like she'll feel guilty if you do it, and then
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: you want you know what I mean, And he's like, no,
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: I can't do it. I'm like, all right, all right,
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: but like not in seeing gender role.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: I think it's like not blending gender roles. Like when
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: I see dads not help out with the kids, that's
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: where I can feel a lot of tension.
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And it sounds like you were talking about keeping
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: score too, like that is when like, no, she didn't
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: do this, so I'm not doing that like that, And.
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: Every every couple keeps whether they say they do or
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: they don't. It's just a human fact of life, you know.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: I mean I try not to do it. But even
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: with the dishes, obviously.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: Every day when I see him cleaning the dishes, I'm like, damn,
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: there's one point gone for me.
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: And it's not even like that. It's not even dishes, dude,
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: it is pops and hands, and like just because it's
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: been in there for like sixteen hours, damn, actually just
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: rinse it out before you put in this sink.
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: It's not a big deal. That's but actually does so many.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: House to have the dishwatchers situation so that there's always
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: one to put them in. That's so snotty.
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: That's how that do you have that.
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: We don't have?
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: That we know we don't we have.
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: You know, we're both clean freaks. Our house stays. If
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: one of us sites a pot and the sink, we're
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: fighting over who's getting it first. Well we just have
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: to be that way.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: That's that is Luckily, Yes, we're both crazy neat freaks,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: so we're we actually job really well. In fact, I
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: knew when we were just friends and he had a
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: dressing room next to mine, and I saw how perfectly clean,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: and I pointed his dressing room was. I was like, like,
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: this guy and when he gets stressed and upset, he cleans,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: and I was it's not good. Now when he's upset
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: and stressed about me and I see him cleaning like creepy,
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: I'm like, ooh, it's not gonna be a good day.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: You know, everybody has their own little quirk's final question here,
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: what would you say is the key to your relationship success?
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: What keeps you all together? And why do you think
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: you all will make it to the bitter end?
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: I think we easily talk things through. I think we're
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: able to really communicate pretty well.
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think Also, I I'm trying to phrase it.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: Were you scared of my answer?
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: No, I'm not scared to answer. I'm thinking about other things.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: I think I will say, bring up this interesting point.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: So I'm now one of you, going to be one
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: of the real housewives of Rhode Island, right, And I've
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: got a few messages that I've really wanted to respond
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: to because people are like, this is like doomsday for
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: every couple, and I'm like, well, Jared and I have
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: gone through the ringer before, and I think that a
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: lot of like when you sign up for a show
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: like that, usually those people are like experiencing fame for
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: the first time, experiencing their relationship, experiencing fame for the
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: first time, and we have like gone through all of that,
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: and it's just like, I think we're in a great position.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: I think. Also, I don't know if you're gonna like
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: this answer. I hope you do, because I like it
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: a lot. I love Ashley being a part of my world,
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: and I love being a part of Ashville.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: That's like so nice. Why would I not love that?
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: That's wonderful because it's not just about you and I,
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: it's about everything encompassing. Like I love I love playing softball.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: I don't love going to softball, but I do it.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: But I love when Ashley brings the kids, like I
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: love having Ashley there with the kids, like you know,
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: it's I love that. And I love when we have
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: family get togethers and Ashley comes, because Ashley blends in
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: so well with my friends and family. And then I feel,
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: not to speak for you, but I feel that I
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: blend pretty well with you.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: You are the ultimate blender with my so's.
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: It's one of those things that like it's so seamless
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: that I, you know, I wouldn't want that to change,
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: and so I think that's nice.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: That's so so perfect. Yeah, absolutely, Oh my gosh. When
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: he when weren't dating my mom was when he'd come
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: over to my house in Virginia and my mom would
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: be like, he fits in so well, Like it would
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: be so oddly comfortable to have him around.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: That's awesome. You all fit together, you belong together. We
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: really appreciate you well. You were you were so open,
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: you were so honest. We so appreciate that. It does
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: help people to know that they're not alone like me too.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: It just feels good to know that other people's are
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: figuring things out as they go. Some people have it
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: more figured out than others. But we just appreciate you
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: opening up and sharing your love story with us.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: Thank you, yeah, thank you so much. We love answering questions.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: We do this in a long time. It's good for us.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: It feels like a date.
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, guys, thank you for being a part. The
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: only thing I will give you all this one piece
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: of advice. You all said it and it really spoke
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: to me. But it came from her parents. No matter what,
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: your relationship comes first, even before the kids. That sounds
• 33:28
  Speaker 4: crazy because you have to remember the only reason the
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: kids are here is because you all were good in
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: the first place. Why are you messing with the foundation
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: at all? You all are the priority. Date nights, movies,
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: get the sitter, do what you gotta do again. I
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: just always thought that was good advice, and it sounded
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: like something you all were struggling with or dealing with,
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: but it was a It was a good nugget. So
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: we're here to help couples, all of them. Take that
• 33:50
  Speaker 4: with you. From her parents.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: Yes, thank you, thank you so much.
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: To you, guys.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: Bye, guys, bye, thank you. The kitchen poke a patent