Latest / The Diva Details / Twice Tested, Twice Triumphant: Sir Kirk’s Hodgkin’s Story

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Twice Tested, Twice Triumphant: Sir Kirk’s Hodgkin’s Story · The Diva Details

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Welcome to the Diva Details. Welcome to the Diva Details.
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Where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
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From love and sex to wellness and reinvention. We keep it raw, real, and powerful.
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No filters, no limits.
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Just fearless conversations to help you thrive. Let's dive in with Diva Mia and Diva Cat.
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Well, hello, everybody. This is Diva Mia.
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Today, I have a super special guest. He's near and dear to my heart.
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He's a friend that I met in college a while ago.
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We reconnected recently and I got to hear his story.
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I thought that his story will touch other people's heart as well because it's
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so amazing what he's gone through and how he's come out of it the other side.
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He's become such an amazing person, and I think you'll agree that his story
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will touch your heart and touch your soul.
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He is a twice cancer survivor from Hodgkin's disease.
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He first got Hodgkin's disease when he was 23. He survived it,
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and then he survived it again.
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Everyone has a little bit of a different journey, but I thought his would be
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an inspiring story nonetheless.
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So without further ado, hello, Sir Kirk. How are you? Hello.
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Thanks for having me on your show. It's great to be here today. I'm so glad to have you.
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I know that you've gone through a lot and your story really touched my heart.
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And I wanted to just let you tell your story in your own way.
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Let's go back to the very beginning. When you first started feeling bad,
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when you first had an idea that something wasn't right, what happened? Give us the background.
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So I was a college swimmer. I swam for the University of Indianapolis.
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And my last year of swimming, I was really struggling in practice and I was
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having a ton of joint pain.
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I pretty much became addicted to Advil that last season.
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I had to take at least four Advil a day just to, and it was already, that was the cancer.
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It was already been in my body for over a year, two, three years.
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So it really was manifesting hard though.
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And so I just was training like crap.
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And so the first time I had it, Hodgkin's disease is cancer of the lymph nodes
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and you have lymph nodes all over your body.
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And the first time I had it, it was all in my neck. And then I had a big cluster
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right here above my heart.
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But one day, my neck swelled up right here. I had a big bump appear right there.
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And so then we're like, okay, what is this?
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So when I started doing tests and I had checked out, and then the very next
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day, yes, you have cancer.
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Wow. So you had some signs, but it had been there for quite some time.
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You don't even know when it started.
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Correct. And it was kind of dragging on you. You weren't feeling well.
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And then once you got your diagnosis how did you feel how what was your approach.
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Well it's i mean when you're 23 and you're
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told you have cancer it's a shocking thing for the first month
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as everybody finds out you feel like
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you have a big red x on you like everybody looks
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at you and they just see this big red x i don't know that was
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just the visual that i had in my head and then of
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course it's the it's the last thing you think of when
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you fall asleep and it's the first thing you think
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of when you wake up like you wake up in the morning and it hits
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you it's like you have cancer and it's
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just like but that's probably that for the first 30 days it
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was like that's the first and that shock each morning of waking up and like
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to realize that that was difficult yeah you went through your first diagnosis
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you treated it you beat it you saw it and what age were you when it came back
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yeah so the first time they gave me multiple options of what I wanted to do,
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but I decided to do radiation treatments.
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And so, and also we caught it somewhat early and they gave me a 90% chance of
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beating it the first time.
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So I did radiation treatments and that lasted an entire summer.
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And that was like a round of golf compared to what was going to come four years later.
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So, but yeah, radiation treatments just, yeah, we just, we did that.
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And it seemed to work. So I was, with this particular type of cancer,
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you have to make it five years of remission before you're cleared for life.
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So I'd only, and it ended up being, I only made it four years and then it came back.
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So they're testing you every so often. How often did you have to go through testing?
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We would do maybe two or three times a year.
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I would go in for blood work and MRIs just to make sure it wasn't coming back
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and it didn't for, for, for you.
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When you got diagnosed and you're 23 and you.
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I know it was probably quite a shock. And you woke up every morning and you
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went to bed every night thinking about it.
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What were you thinking about for the future as far as career goes?
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Yeah, I still had one semester left of college.
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So I knew I was going back to Indy in the fall.
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I didn't have my degree yet. I was done swimming. My years of swimming were done with.
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So I just wanted to get healthy and get back and get my degree.
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It wasn't like looking past that. It was just looking like you got,
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you know, four more months of school.
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That was as far down the road as I was looking, really.
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So you went through and you did the radiation treatments and you got into what's
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called remission or someone that's no longer showing signs of cancer.
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And once you're in remission, did you feel like you were home free or were you
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still a little concerned?
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I really felt home free, especially when you go two, three years in,
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you're like, yeah, I'm done. these MRIs are now, they're just a waste of time
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and whatnot. I just thought it was, man, what a little blip on the radar that was.
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That was sucked, but it's all gone. Like, let's go now.
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So you started, did you get symptoms again for the second time you got it?
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Yes. So the second time, one of the major clusters was in my lower back near my kidneys.
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And when I would drink alcohol, it would actually inflame the tumors that were
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in my lower back on my kidneys.
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And so I was like, I'd have two drinks and my lower back would start hurting.
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I'm like, oh my gosh, do I have kidney stones?
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Do I have kidney problems? So I went in to see a urologist and they had me, of course, like in a cup.
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And then they're like, you have blood in your urine. And I'm like, okay.
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And then the urologist started asking me, he started probing into my,
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my health history. And I'm like, well, I had Hodgkin's disease four years ago.
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And he was like, oh, he's like, well, you probably ought to go back to your
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oncologist and you might, it may have come back.
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So I went from thinking I had some type of kidney problem to yes,
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your Hodgkin's disease is back.
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And it's, it's, you know, in your lower it's, it was in my organs,
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basically all around my organs. I always think like, what if I wasn't drinking alcohol?
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It could have taken six more months to figure out that it was back.
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The alcohol was triggering, inflaming the tumors that were near my kidneys.
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Yeah. So it was actually a good thing to be going out and partying in your 20s. Yeah.
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So gin and tonics may have saved my life. It alerted me much earlier than that was the thing.
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Like, why am I having lower back pain when I have a drink? Yeah. Yeah.
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But it was the cancer had come back. So what did you decide to do the second
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time around when you got...
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Second time, it was much more serious that my odds of beating it went from 90% down to 66%.
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So now we're, now we're, now it's getting interesting. Now we're really rolling the dice here.
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You've got a one in three chance of not making it. So it just had to go. There was no question.
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I got to go chemo that you just. And you were seven the second time? I was, yes.
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20. Yeah, I had my, I had my 28th birthday during the six months of chemo.
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So, but yeah, when I started chemo, I was 27.
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They gave me the option of putting a port in, which is this plastic thing they
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put in here and it's underneath your skin and you have this wire dangling out.
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And then it would, when you go in to get your chemo, they just hook you up to that.
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And I mentally, I couldn't handle that thinking for six months.
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Every time I got out of the shower, look at the mirror, see this like wire hanging out of my chest.
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Mentally, I couldn't do that. So I did it the hardcore way where they just drain
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it into your arms each time.
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And so the way my particular chemo worked was I would go in every other Monday
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and then it was like a three or four hour process where they would drain a chemo
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cocktail into my body through three different IVs.
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And each IV would take like an hour to bag the bag to drain into me.
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And so, and so got into this cycle where I would be sick for a week and then
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I'd be okay for a week and then I'd be sick for a week and then I'd be okay
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for a week. And so we did that for six months.
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Wow. So you're 28 years old where other people out there having fun,
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meeting people, partying a little bit, and you're going through chemotherapy.
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And I'm sure you had to throw up often. How did it feel when it went into your veins?
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Did it burn? or what was the feeling that the chemo does when you actually have
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it go into your body? It definitely burned.
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It also felt cold.
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After time, it made my veins and my forearms became as hard as coat hangers
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because it just scars. The drugs are so harsh.
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It just scars your veins.
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Now, eventually, months, maybe a year later, my veins are soft and normal again. But.
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At the time, like, yeah, those drugs are really harsh.
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As we got farther in, I would start throwing up during the process.
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I was in a room where everybody's sitting in these lounge chairs and you have your chemo bag drip.
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But eventually I was getting so sick that they had to put me in my own private room.
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I would start vomiting during the process and they would like, don't pull your IV.
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And I'm leaning over off the table and the nurse is holding the bucket and I'm puking in the bucket.
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And she's like, don't roll out of your IV. Don't pull your IV out.
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It got really harsh. Yeah.
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So the treatments are terrible. You're not feeling well.
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Did you have support from friends and family? I didn't have too much support.
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Some of that is on me. I just shut down and I didn't want people around me.
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I don't know why I reacted that way.
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My best friends all lived away. Some of them had just finished college and moved.
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Some of them were still in college. I didn't really have that too many good friends in town.
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My sister was a freshman at San Diego State. She was a swimmer there.
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And my two brothers, I mean, maybe all three of my siblings were in California
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at this point. So yeah, it was a lonely journey.
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But part of that was on me. I did have...
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I did have one friend who came to visit occasionally, so that was just awesome.
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But see, I also had to work. We were lower middle class, our family.
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I had three siblings, and my mom was working three jobs, and my dad worked hard.
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I was living at home when all this happened, which was a fortuitous thing.
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I had already lived in Tampa, Florida, and moved back to Illinois.
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So I was back in living with my parents when the second diagnosis came about,
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so that was a lucky thing. And then also I was a manager at a bagel coffee shop
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and the owners were super supportive and worked with me.
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So they would let me work for a week and then I would be sick for a week.
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And there wasn't really an option to just not work. I had a car payment.
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I had credit card bills. I had student loan payments. And my parents couldn't afford those.
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They couldn't. I couldn't just dump all these bills in their laps.
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My family was, we were just tough.
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I don't know. I didn't really get much sympathy. It's just like, deal with it, work.
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Like, I would be sick for a week. I'd be on the couch with a puke bucket next to me.
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Day four or five, I'd start feeling better. And then I would work for a week.
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And then, you know, then the Monday would roll around where I'd go back in for
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another chemo treatment.
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Back when this happened, the internet was out, but there wasn't a lot of information
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on alternative treatments. Did you try any alternative treatments?
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Or did you just go the traditional route as far as chemo and radiation? Yeah.
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Additional ideas or treatments were really about this back then.
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I was just full trust in the medical opinions and ideas and game plan.
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So you went for chemo for six months. Did you get a clean bill of health at the end of the chemo? No.
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Month five, that's when my mom died suddenly. Wow.
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She died during back surgery at the same hospital that I was having my chemo
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treatments at. She had gone in for...
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Back surgery. And so she died suddenly from.
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While I'm at my weakest point of my life. And I later found out from my grandma
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that my mom was, and for you listeners who aren't religious,
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that's fine, but we were religious in our family.
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And so my mom was praying to God for him to take her life instead of mine.
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I didn't know that at the time. Now, I don't know if that's what,
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if God took her up on that deal.
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I found that out maybe a couple of years later when my grandma told me that
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my mom was praying that she go instead of me.
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So, yeah. So you were struggling a lot. You had a lot of stress happening.
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You were working. You lose your mother. And you're still in the middle of chemo.
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And you still have, your indicators are still showing that you have cancer.
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How did it make you feel as far as motivation and drive and just to realize
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you were going through so much?
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How was your emotional level? My plate was full.
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In a weird way, my mom's passing, I couldn't even really allocate that much
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grief and self-pity towards that major life event because my play was so full
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with just trying to survive.
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I lost all my hair. I lost my eyebrows. I lost my armpit hair.
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I lost like 15 pounds. I was super pale. I just looked like a very unhealthy
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person, just scrawny, someone who came out of some type of concentration camp or something. Yeah.
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Yeah, it was, I mean, talk about having your plate full.
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So I just didn't, I was just trying to survive like myself.
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I would not eat, you know, I'd eat on Sunday night and then I'd go in for chemo
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on Monday morning and then I would be so sick.
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Sometimes I wouldn't eat till, you know, Wednesday or Thursday.
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Three or four days later, everything would just come right back up.
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You still have a decent mindset, though, it sounds like, through the whole thing.
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Because you just kept chugging along with all the challenges that were going on.
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I think you just take it. It's cliche, but you just take it day by day.
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You just you're like, OK, what what do I have to do today?
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And like if it was, you know, if it was a Monday and going in to get chemo,
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like you just you break and you and then you break that down.
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OK, I got to do this. This hour is mostly just just laying around being sick.
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And so you just trust that things are going to work out. It was good then like
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to like go into work and like, like feel like normal.
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That was like to go in and work and be around my staff and my coworkers and stuff.
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It was, that was a good, really good work environment to have.
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And I think I was meant to have that job during this time.
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Did the job provide insurance for you? No, unfortunately I was,
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fortunately I was not on any health insurance, but the hospital wiped out all
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of my medical debt as a good faith gesture for my mom dying.
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I'd racked up like $80,000 in medical debt. And they're like,
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well, we're just going to, we're going to just wipe that under the rug since your mom died.
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Without them really admitting anything, they did anything wrong.
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It was just good faith gesture. You don't owe us anything because your mom died here.
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Separate medical procedures. Yeah, no, no health insurance at the time, but that worked out.
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Do you think that there was a medical fault that caused
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the death or is that what your thought process is yeah there
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there was uh she was complaining of knee pain and
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that was she had a she had a blood clot in her knee and they should have checked
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that out better before they put her under because when they put her under for
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the back surgery that's what triggered the movement of that blood clot it went
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into her lungs and she just went
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into cardiac arrest right there on the operating table. Gotcha. Gotcha.
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Yeah. So how long have you been cancer free? So you went through six months
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of chemo and you came out of it. How long have you been cancer free?
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So now it's been 25 years.
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Yeah. So 25 years. Do you have to get regular tests still?
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No. I think May of 2005 was the last time we did an MRI or CAT scan to just check everything.
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But by that time, I knew that what my grandma had told me about the deal my mom had made.
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And so once I knew that, I'm like, oh, well, he's not going to go back on meaning
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God. He's not going to go back on his terms.
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Like he took her. It's not coming back a third time for me. So at the end of
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six months, they didn't know if it had worked.
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I had a couple of tumors, but they had the larger one that they were,
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that was like the main one showing up in the MRIs.
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And that was, that one, it didn't shrink the entire six months.
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Wow. Still there, the same size? Yeah, same size.
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So they, they're like, okay, so they had this, at this hospital where I was
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at, they have what they call the cancer board.
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And that was where once a month, all of the radiologists, all of the oncologists,
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they They would all get together in one meeting and they would review the two
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maybe biggest or trickiest cases that was going on at their hospital.
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And my case went before this cancer board.
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And the grand consensus of that whole, all those people and all that knowledge,
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all those degrees was, we don't know if it worked.
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So I remember I was actually at work. I was at the coffee bagel shop and I got the call.
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They called me at work. I didn't even remember giving them that phone number.
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They called me there and they told me this.
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And I'm just thinking to myself, what do I do? Do I even finish my shift?
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I was like, it was very bizarre. It basically said, we don't know if this worked or not.
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So I already knew because we'd already talked about if the next step would have,
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I would have had to gone up to Northwestern's hospital in Chicago and do a bone
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marrow transplant and basically live in a bubble.
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I'd be a bubble boy. And my chances of survival would have dropped down to 10%.
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Wow. So, yeah. So they're like, we don't know if this worked or not. And so I'm like, okay.
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So here's what we're going to do. We're not going to do anything for two months.
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So you just hang out for two months and two months from now,
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come back in and we'll do some more testing and we'll just take it from there.
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So that was, they just left me in limbo after going through all that,
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that horrible process and stuff.
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So what did you do for two months? So it was time to live life to the fullest.
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So having been a collegiate swimmer, I was still in pretty good shape in my late 20s.
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So I recovered pretty quickly, actually.
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I finished chemo on February 28th. And by like a month later...
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I mean, I was feeling pretty good. I wasn't running quite yet,
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but I was walking and gaining my weight back. My hair was growing back.
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I went out to visit one of my best friends in Washington, D.C.,
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and we really had a blast. And I went down to the Florida Keys with two of my
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friends, and we went jet skiing and partying it up.
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And I just really lived life to the fullest for two months, just in case Bubble Boy was coming.
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I just tried to have as much fun as I could. But also at the same time,
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I have more while I was going through chemo.
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So my plate was still full.
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I'm still dealing with the loss of my mom. I still don't know if I'm going to
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live or die. You went into your life.
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So you suddenly surrendered to the process and just went and had fun.
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Yeah, just in case it was my last go-around.
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Yeah, I just tried to have as much fun as I could. I wasn't really planning for the future.
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You're just living day by day.
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You talked a little bit about religion and the spiritual thought process behind your survival.
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Are there any other emotional or philosophical insights that you can share? Yeah.
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When I was going through chemo, all my friends and relatives were,
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they're saying, you've got to beat this.
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You've got to beat cancer, beat cancer, fight it.
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The term like fighting cancer is a misnomer. You don't fight it, you just survive it.
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You don't get in the ring and put on gloves. You just get down the fetal position
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and you just take your beating and then hope that you, at the end of it,
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you can stand up. There's no fighting.
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It's just, you're just taking it, basically.
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The pressure really mounted like, yo, you gotta beat cancer.
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And so I started feeling a lot of pressure. It seemed unnecessary.
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So I kind of got angry at the pressure of this, like, you gotta win.
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There was this song lyric.
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It was a rap group, Naughty by Nature. Anybody from the, remembers hip-hop in
21:42
the early 90s, they're the group that sang OPP.
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But they had another song called Everything's Gonna Be All Right.
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And I really liked that song. There was a lyric in that song that really enlightened me.
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And the lyric goes, how will I do it? How will I make it? I won't.
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That's how. And that lyric really struck me.
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How will I do it? How will I make it? I won't. That's how. And in the song,
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he's referring, how are you going to get out of the ghetto? How are you going
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to make a life for yourself?
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But for me, that song was like, I started, I was like, I need to,
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I wanted to think outside the box. Well, how am I going to be cancer?
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I won't. That's how. I'm like, wait, there's another option over here.
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I'm not in this box. There's an option outside the box. You can die.
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So I got comfortable with death. And when I did that, when I said,
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it's okay, when I told myself, it's okay if you don't make it. It's okay.
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That's an option. And when I really got to that point, like spiritually,
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I felt this weight come off my shoulders.
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And that is when I beat cancer. Really? When I no longer had the pressure.
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I removed the pressure of winning.
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I'm just like, okay, there's another option. Your story can end here.
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And that's okay. You'll go on to the next part of your soul's journey.
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And so once I relieved the pressure of winning, it's like, how will I make it?
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I won't. That's how. I'll just die.
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And then I felt better. Then I was like, now I'm in like things like my energy
23:12
started flowing because there was no pressure to win. That was a real psychological
23:18
breakthrough, and it's a weird one. You've got to get comfortable with death.
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You've got to really look at and say, okay, I can do this, meaning I can cross over. I can do that.
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But when I got to that spot, that's when I won. That's when I beat it.
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It's a weird mental journey to go on. You never looked at cancer as a competitor
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to beat, and just something to surrender to, that's when you won.
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Yeah, yeah. It was part of you that you let go, that competitive nature.
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Well, I just let go of the pressure of, like, my dad and my mom had,
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they had sisters, so I had a lot of aunts. You gotta win.
24:00
Your grandparents, like, you gotta win. You gotta beat cancer.
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And they're, you know, they're just...
24:05
Being encouraging, but for me, it took it, I don't know, maybe this was just
24:10
as being an athlete, like it was like a competition.
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It's like, well, I don't have to win.
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It's stop asking me to win. I don't know if I can win.
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Well, that's a complete mindset shift too. I mean, that's a different way of thinking about life.
24:25
We all die at one point.
24:27
Being able to surrender that at 27, 28 years old is, I'm sure,
24:32
tough because I'm sure you had hopes and dreams for the future.
24:35
When you let it go, it just released something in you, maybe some anxiety,
24:39
some stress, and that was probably keeping the cancer in you. Yeah, I don't know.
24:44
I did just energetically feel better, though.
24:47
So was this when you were in Florida, when you had this mindset shift?
24:50
Was it when you were traveling to Florida and having your party days and living it up?
24:54
Yeah, it happened during that two-month limbo period. Okay. Yes.
24:58
Yeah, during that two-month limbo period when they said, we're just going to chill out.
25:01
And that's when, yeah, that's during that time, I made this kind of mental shift
25:05
and accepted everything and just the acceptance of possibly making it. I felt at peace.
25:13
I felt at peace. Peace is a wonderful thing. Yeah. You came back after your
25:17
two months and then what did you do? You went straight to the hospital?
25:20
How did you, what did you handle?
25:22
Well, I wasn't in Florida the whole time. That was just like maybe like a week long trip.
25:26
My trip to D.C. was maybe a week long. So I was still working.
25:30
I had done some little mini trips and other fun things.
25:33
But yeah, then we went back. I mean, we did another CAT scan.
25:37
I remember I'm on my drive to the hospital. We did the tests and then,
25:42
but like you would get the results.
25:44
So like you meet with the oncologist like a day or two later.
25:47
But I remember going, it was May 15th.
25:50
Of a 20, I'm sorry, May 15th of 1998.
25:55
And I remember driving to the hospital to get the news, either you're good or
26:02
you're, you know, you're going to Northwestern to, you know,
26:06
live in a bubble while they do a bone marrow transplant.
26:08
I remember like this, the sunlight was coming through the trees and I just knew,
26:14
I knew I was going to be okay.
26:16
It was just like, I'd said, you're going to be okay or something,
26:20
but it was just very virtually emotional.
26:22
I'm just like, it's you, you're, you won. It's fine. You're going to be fine.
26:26
Yeah. I remember that moment. I just had this confidence, like,
26:29
yeah, it's, it's going to be okay.
26:30
Remember not very many people knew about this day.
26:33
They knew I was in this two month limbo period. I think only my dad knew because
26:38
he and I was living with him.
26:40
I think he might've been the only one. I just know it was a big relief.
26:43
And it was like, okay, now what?
26:45
Because I hadn't really made any plans. It was all-encompassing to survive this.
26:52
So once you survived and you beat Hopkins disease, did your priorities change? Did you change jobs?
26:59
How was your life different once you survived? This is going to be weird,
27:03
but my life didn't really change that much.
27:06
I was waiting for like this, I don't know, new look on life and spiritual awakening
27:13
and appreciation. I didn't get that.
27:16
But I think I'm kind of weird that way. I think that is not the normal thing that happens to people.
27:21
But it was just, that was, I'm just being honest, that was just.
27:24
Me, it was just completely awful. Like, okay, what's next?
27:29
Yeah, that's okay. Honesty is wonderful. So now that you've survived Hatchkin's
27:34
disease, you're in remission for 25 years or so.
27:38
Is there anything that you do on a daily basis as far as nutrition,
27:43
supplementation, exercise, just to
27:45
keep yourself overall healthy so that hopefully it will never come back?
27:49
Yeah, I mean, I definitely got into just all types of vitamins and even the more unusual ones.
27:56
Recently, I'm really a big fan of shilajit, if that's the way you say it, and turmeric.
28:02
As far as just like one thing that, see, the first time I had it when I went
28:06
through radiation, I had a large cluster literally right over my heart.
28:11
And so they would put these lead like pads to protect my lungs,
28:16
but they couldn't protect my heart because the radiation is point specific for
28:21
those of you not familiar.
28:22
So they're radiating my neck and my chest, but there was no way to block my
28:26
heart because all the tumors were right above it.
28:29
And so my radiation or my heart took a lot of radiation.
28:34
And so ever since for the past 25 years, I like I try and run once a week.
28:40
And there's that's just like it's non-negotiable. I don't care if it's hot outside,
28:45
cold outside, if you're tired, whatever.
28:48
Like, I don't miss my weekly run, and that's because I want to keep my heart
28:52
strong because I'm always worried that somewhere down the road,
28:56
that radiation that it took will come back.
28:59
I don't think it will, but, I mean, that's just one thing I do is just keep
29:03
my heart strong by running because it took a lot of radiation,
29:08
you know, the first time I had Hodgkin's.
29:11
Do you do any other types of activities as far as health goes?
29:14
I mean, I walk every day. I do push-ups.
29:18
I tour around on my mountain bike occasionally. So I do those types of things to stay healthy.
29:25
Being a former collegiate swimmer,
29:27
I've, you just hold yourself to a higher standard. I think you just,
29:31
you're so, cause you're so used to being around.
29:34
I mean, I trained year round from the age of eight to the age of 23.
29:38
And so just when you do that for 15 years, that's the case with you,
29:43
you just aren't going to let yourself get out of shape really.
29:46
It's just kind of drained in your, in who you are.
29:48
So at least that's, that was for me.
29:51
So are there any foods you restrict in your diet?
29:54
Sodas or things? There are some. I've struggled. The chemo really tore up my
29:59
stomach lining and I've struggled with stomach acid problems ever since.
30:04
So I have trigger foods that I need to be careful of, like a pizza, pasta.
30:10
Those are two of the big ones. So I can eat those, but I just need to be careful
30:17
because I'm not eating too much and also eat them earlier in the evening.
30:21
I don't want to be eating pizza or pasta like after 8 because if I lay down,
30:25
then it's really going to mess with my stomach.
30:26
I still suffer with stomach issues basically.
30:30
Also, another weird thing. Here's a little bit of trivia not very many people know.
30:34
My esophagus in my throat is 25% smaller than it used to be because the radiation shrunk it.
30:42
Because the cancer here we did, my esophagus is 25% smaller than it used to be.
30:50
So I have to chew my food well and usually drink a lot of liquid because stuff
30:56
just doesn't go down as well.
30:58
Just little things like that. You're altered by these. Your body a little bit.
31:04
Yeah. Do you do anything spiritually to just keep your stress levels down and
31:08
keep your mindset up? Just walking in nature is a big, big stress reliever for me.
31:13
Yeah, I would say that that's like the main one.
31:16
Looking back now that you know what I mean, we are 25 years later,
31:21
traditional medicine saying, but are there any alternative paths that you think
31:25
you might have tried had you known about them at the time?
31:27
Probably not because, I mean, if I had a new type of cancer now,
31:35
like I have a whole different mindset where I would look for other alternatives.
31:40
There's a lot of stuff out there that can help defeat stuff that doesn't come from the pharma.
31:48
But I mean, also, I'm a little much bolder now. In my 20s, I was just programmed
31:53
like, well, just listen to the doctors.
31:55
I think now i i question the
31:59
entire medical industry much more and i'm bold enough to to do that and more
32:05
educated to do that now whereas in my 20s i know i'd have been just been like
32:10
all right tell me what to do now i there's so much things you know now with
32:15
just life experience and wisdom it's like.
32:18
Learn to learn to question things. So you become your own personal advocate
32:22
now in your medical areas.
32:24
Yeah. So for your health, your own personal advocate. Yeah.
32:27
Yeah. So how do you continue to find purpose in life as time goes on?
32:33
You've gone through a lot of struggles. You've overcome so much.
32:37
The death of your mother, cancer, Hodgkin's disease, and other things that have
32:41
happened in your life that I know of. How do you continue to find purpose?
32:45
Because I know sometimes it's a challenge for people, especially when they've
32:48
gone through so much trauma.
32:50
Yeah, it's okay. The other things you're referring to is that my younger sister
32:54
died, and then also my dad died just less than two years ago. So it's been rough.
33:01
It's been really rough.
33:04
You just take it day by day. Do your best each day, and they add up.
33:09
You string together. You just do your best every day, and it just adds up.
33:13
So, so anybody that has extreme fear, just keep doing it day by day and walk
33:19
through it as you can. Yeah. Yeah.
33:21
And do you encourage anybody to follow you on Instagram? Yeah, I do.
33:28
I'm not a frequent poster, but when I put something on there,
33:31
I do it for hopefully it's high entertainment value. It's not going to be bored.
33:35
So yeah, check me out on Instagram. That would be awesome.
33:38
So your Instagram handle is at KirkWright44?
33:41
Yes. Okay. So if somebody has a challenge in life,
33:45
what would be your inspirational thought as far as telling them day by day is
33:50
one of them, but just to keep their heads up, especially because there's young
33:53
children that get Hodgkin's diagnoses.
33:56
Diagnosis there's people at all age this is terrible diagnosis in
34:00
fact the breast cancer survivor I had on
34:03
she also had cancer in her lymph nodes as well so
34:06
what do you recommend people do are there resources out there or what would
34:10
you recommend people do in order to just stay keep the mindset because I think
34:14
mindset and even your mindset was when you surrendered that was a shift in your
34:18
mindset but mindset is so very important yeah I mean um Hodgkin's is one of
34:23
the better cancers to get. It's one of the more treatable ones.
34:26
And it does tend to show up earlier in life than in a lot of cancers.
34:31
So I think it's, if you're going to have cancer, better to get it in your 20s
34:35
than in your 60s or 70s, which is because your body is just more healthy and
34:40
better equipped to fight.
34:42
So, I mean, early diagnosis is key.
34:45
And you just listen to your body. For the first time with all of a sudden my neck bulged up.
34:51
I mean, that was like obviously very easy to know something was wrong.
34:54
But the second time I thought I had some type of kidney problems,
34:57
but you just go in and get them checked because what you think is going on may
35:01
lead to something else. Like you may have some other problem.
35:04
Just be in tune with your body. If there's something hurting you that it's been
35:09
going on for a while, just go have it checked.
35:11
Do you think you're more spiritual now because of what you've gone through?
35:15
Because I know you're a very spiritual person. You self-reflect often.
35:18
Do you feel like you're more spiritual now because of what you've gone through? I suppose. I think so.
35:23
I mean, going through so many hard things, like you...
35:28
I don't know. It's hard to put into words. Do you feel like it would have been
35:33
better had you gotten more family support while you were going through this?
35:37
Do you think people should try to entertain as much fans and family support?
35:41
Or do you feel like it was better to go alone like you did? No,
35:43
it's definitely better to get lots of support.
35:46
Again, that was just my own shutting down and closing people off.
35:51
That's probably not a good way. If I had to do it again, I definitely would
35:55
encourage more phone calls, more visits, just more talking. We were a tough family.
36:02
There wasn't really much pity doled out. You just dealt, everybody did their
36:06
thing. I definitely would have just looked for more support from friends and family.
36:10
I think resilience is a word that comes to mind and grit every time I think
36:14
of you, as far as everything that you've gone through.
36:17
And you've done some amazing things in life. Do you think that this has changed
36:23
you going forward forever?
36:25
Do you think your life would have been different had this not happened?
36:28
And was it a good life lesson to actually have had? It changed me because no
36:34
matter what's going on, no matter how bad of a day, you can always be like,
36:38
well, at least it's not chemo.
36:41
When you suffer like that, it raises your standard for, for suffering and being
36:48
able to deal with things.
36:51
You've had so many like harsh things. If you're at the DMV for two hours,
36:55
like it doesn't matter. It's not chemo.
36:58
You got a flat tire and you're walking down the road.
37:00
Like it doesn't matter. Like it's not chemo.
37:03
You just, you raise the bar for what you can take.
37:07
So that bar has just forever been raised. I guess it just helps you just brush
37:12
things off better and don't sweat the small things.
37:15
And it's all small things, basically, after going through major life challenges like this.
37:22
You know, it's funny. It's not chemo. It was your tagline in your mind.
37:26
And I found people that survive difficult situations when I was going through a difficult situation.
37:34
Mine was, I would always say, you know what? someone else somewhere else has
37:38
it harder than me and they're still surviving. I can do this is what I would always say to myself.
37:42
But everybody that survives and gets through tough situations and comes out
37:47
better on the other side, they always have a tagline and yours is at least it's not chemo.
37:52
But everyone, mine was somebody else has got it harder than me. I got to keep going.
37:57
You know, if you can go through a situation, a tough situation like this and
38:01
come up with something in your mind,
38:05
a short one or two sentence tagline, just when it gets really shitty and you're
38:10
crawling because you're throwing up, you're crawling to the bathroom because
38:13
you're throwing up from chemo or you're just, you're going through tough, tough times.
38:17
I think if everyone can just have something they tell themselves in their head,
38:21
it will make the difference between survival and not surviving.
38:24
It'll keep you going in a mindset way that keeps you maybe not happy,
38:28
but at least going in the right direction.
38:31
At least that's my belief. I I don't know what your thoughts are.
38:33
Yeah. No, I would agree with that.
38:36
Yeah, I think it's so very important.
38:39
Mindset is more important than anything, especially with a cancer diagnosis.
38:43
And you had a mindset that kept you going. Even though you didn't have the support
38:48
that was out there and other people have had, your mindset kept you going.
38:52
You reminded me of one thing that, I don't know, the readers or the listeners
38:56
will either be grossed out or maybe inspired.
38:59
But when you're done with chemo, you're not supposed to drive yourself home.
39:03
You're supposed to have someone come pick you up. But I would drive myself to
39:07
the hospital and I would go in and then I would lie to the release nurse and
39:12
be like, oh, my ride is here.
39:14
And then I would go out in my car and drive myself home, which you weren't supposed to do.
39:19
And so the, and so that they didn't know I was driving myself home,
39:22
but eventually we got into month three and month, it got, it got harder and
39:26
harder where I would get to my car and I would just be, you know,
39:30
this is in the winter and in Illinois, so it's 20 degrees out.
39:34
And I'm just like got my head down on my front bumper and I'm just puking in
39:40
the parking lot, like trying to get it together so I can get in the car and drive myself home.
39:45
And sometimes I'd have to pull the car over and puke on the way home.
39:49
Then I get home on the couch and I'd have my little puke bucket.
39:52
And then, but the last couple of times I couldn't do it.
39:55
So like my grandpa or my dad would, would have to come pick me up.
39:59
But yeah, I mean, I was just determined to just kind of be self-supportive and just do it on my own.
40:06
So I would drive myself home even though I wasn't supposed to until about the
40:10
last like month or, you know, the last two or three times I couldn't do it anymore.
40:15
Someone had to come get me.
40:16
Well, that's the very definition of grit right there. Yes.
40:20
Yeah, when you said the word grit, it reminded me of that, like,
40:26
Yeah, that's grit. I think you're the reason now they actually make the person
40:31
picking you up show up at the doctor's.
40:35
People out because I've had to have somebody sign me out in order for me to
40:40
leave. So I think you're the reason.
40:43
Yeah, I would sit there and fake it.
40:48
I would go out and sit in the lobby and the release nurse would be,
40:50
and I would sit there for 10 minutes just knowing that I'm, okay,
40:54
when am I going to, And then I'd be like, okay, my ride's here. Bye.
40:58
And then I'd walk out. And I don't know if you can get away with that these
41:02
days. I don't think you can get away with it anymore.
41:04
And your reason was... In the late 90s, you could. I don't know.
41:08
It probably depends on each individual facility.
41:11
Yeah. Yeah. I think there's probably reasons they don't want you to drive,
41:15
too. They don't want you to cause an accident.
41:17
So... Yeah. I would say towards the end, maybe it wasn't so safe.
41:22
So, yeah, it was a struggle.
41:25
Yeah. Do you do any probiotics for, I'm sure it destroyed your gut biome as
41:29
well. Do you do any of that stuff to help your gut repair itself?
41:33
Well, I have done like a probiotic treatment where you order like a pack of
41:38
like 30 pills or whatever and you take them for two or three weeks. I've done that.
41:44
I drink kombucha occasionally, maybe like twice a month. I'll grab a bottle
41:49
and drink that. That has a lot of probiotics in it.
41:53
Yeah. Well, that'll help too. If you could leave today and just tell listeners
41:59
that are listening to this one thing to think of,
42:02
if they're going through a struggle like this, whether it's cancer or autoimmune
42:06
diseases or something else that is very traumatic for them that they don't know
42:11
if they can make it, what would it be?
42:13
What would be your overall comment
42:15
to them to just keep going since you're Mr. Grit and Mr. Resilient?
42:19
I think it would just be, don't feel self-pity. Like, don't succumb to self-pity
42:25
and like, woe is me and like, why me?
42:28
And just get rid of that. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Because like you said,
42:32
I mean, there's somebody in India that has only eaten, you know,
42:36
once in the past three days and living in a roach-infested hut or something.
42:41
You know, there's people suffering all over the planet and they got it worse
42:46
than you. So don't give in to self-pity. Yeah.
42:49
Don't have a victim mindset. I think the victimhood mindset destroys more people.
42:53
Yeah, it goes hand in hand with that. Like, don't. Yeah, that's because that's
42:58
just going to make you that's not a good foundation, which to build your internal fortitude.
43:04
If you're just like, oh, why this happened to me? Poor me.
43:07
Like you're building a weak foundation to start whatever process you're about
43:11
to and test you're about to go through.
43:14
Just don't feel sorry for yourself. All right. Well, I think everybody just
43:18
keep your head up, come up with your own mantra and keep a positive mindset
43:22
through the whole thing. And you'll be okay, even though there's going to be
43:25
rough days and everybody knows it. Just keep your head up.
43:28
I think we covered it all, Sir Kirk. Is there anything else?
43:32
No, just thanks for having me on. It was, yeah, I've had an interesting life
43:38
and a lot of it hasn't been easy, but I'm here.
43:41
So trying to make the best of it, I think. I still think great things are coming my way.
43:46
Well, it's been a pleasure and I hope everyone has a wonderful week.
43:50
This is Diva Mia signing off.
43:53
Kirk, Sir Kirk, I'm signing off. Thanks for listening to my story today,
43:57
everyone. All right. Take care, everybody.
44:01
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