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Walking in Love through Words that Edify (Part 4) · Near East Christian Fellowship Sermons

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Welcome to NECF Sermons. Each message here is
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designed to uplift and strengthen you in your
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walk with God. Don't miss out. Stay with us until
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the end for a rewarding experience. Let's dive
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right in. I will try my best to be as fast as
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I can because there are three things that I want
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to do today and I hope that time will permit
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me to. Firstly, I'm going to establish some certain
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things concerning the church, the family of God
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that we've always been talking about, we've been
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discussing the issue of walking in love through
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the words, through our words that edifies, through
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words that edifies. And we're going to look at
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the dynamics of the family of God that is a church.
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What is a composition of the body of Christ that
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is a church, the family of God here on earth?
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And then we're going to look at how, you know,
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as we do, as we keep fellowship, how we edify
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ourselves through our words. And we're going
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to give an opportunity, of course, where we're
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going to like a practical, you know, session
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where we'll speak. I want to hear us speak. Okay?
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So when we come to the practical part, please
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kindly participate. Right? So that it will not
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just be a one -way conversation. Participate
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so that we can share and we can learn from one
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another and we can deal together. Hallelujah.
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So, quickly, our text. What is our key text for
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the season, for the weeks, two weeks we've been?
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Ephesians 4 .25, right? Ephesians 4 .25. Let's
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just go through it once again. It says, Therefore,
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putting away lying, let each one of you speak
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truth with his neighbor. for we are members of
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one another. Be angry and do not sin. Do not
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let the sun go down on your earth. No, give place
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to the devil. Let him who stole steal no longer,
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but rather let him labor, working with his hands
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that what is good, that he may have something
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to give who has need, which means that in the
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church of God, there are people that will have
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needs. All right? Oftentimes, from time to time,
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we have people, that have needs. All of us have
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needs, but there are some needs that are basic
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necessities of life, like food, shelter, clothing,
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that are basic needs, without which life becomes
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unbearable. So, we're able to share these things
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with one another. Let no corrupt words proceed
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out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary
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edification, that it may impart grace to the
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hearers. And do not grieve, the Holy Spirit of
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God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
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Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and
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evil speaking be put away from you with all malice
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and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving
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one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
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So we see that the example for us is what God
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himself has done by what Jesus Christ did. that
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he forgave us all our sins. So we even so ought
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to be kind one to another, tenderhearted, and
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forgiving one another because in our relationship
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as a family, there will be offenses. And even
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when offenses arises, we have an instruction.
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And the instruction is what? Is to forgive as
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a family. Hallelujah. So the dynamics of the
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family of God. In the family of God, in the church,
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we have different people. First of all, Because
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we are people, we are different. Okay? Sometimes
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we want people to think the way we think. We
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want people to process things the way we process
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them. But we are unique. We are special. And
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we are different. Alright? The church is a body
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of Christ made up of people from different age
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groups. First of all, that is the number one
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thing that we should understand. Okay? There
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are children with us. Okay? And they are part
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of God's family. Hallelujah. So we have... people
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that are elderly, you know, people from different
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social classes, all right? People from different
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social classes. You know, our society pleases
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us in different social classes. We must acknowledge
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those realities, okay? People from spiritual
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maturity, you know, we grow out. Last week, we
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were talking about, on Sunday, we were talking
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about a child and someone that is an adult. And
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oftentimes we'll see in scriptures describes
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a state of a believer as a child. There are those
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that have matured in the things of the spirit.
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There are those that are still growing amidst
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us in the church. In the church, we have leadership.
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We have people that leads us and we follow in
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different capacities, in different teams, in
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different groups. So we have leaders. Each category
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has specific responsibilities in the family,
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in the church. we have specific responsibilities
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and expectations from one another. And the word
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of God is not ignorant of that. All right? The
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word of God is very clear about that. The word
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of God provides instruction on how believers
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should relate to one another, on how believers
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should relate to one another, care for the vulnerable
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because in the church there are vulnerable people,
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and how authority be exercised from... you know,
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within the church family, and maintenance of
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order. Order. How order is maintained in the
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household of God. Hallelujah. Because our God
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is a God of order, and therefore there's a leadership
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within us. There's a guidance within us. In the
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family unit, there's a leadership in the family.
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God is a God of order. In our biological families,
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there's a structure. Hallelujah. So in the church
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of God, there are different categories that are
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older men. And what does the scripture say about
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older men? Biblical responsibility that we have
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towards older men. 1 Timothy 5, verse 1. Read
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from verse 1 down. Verse 1 and verse 2. Give
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me 1 Timothy 5. It says, do not rebuke an older
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man. Okay? Within the church family, what do
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we do? We do not rebuke an older man. So Paul
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is writing to Timothy. Timothy is actually a
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pastor of a church. And this is a pastoral epistle
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to Timothy, that even though he's a pastor of
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a church, there's a right way by which he will
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communicate to someone that is older to him in
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the church, especially those that are older than
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him. So there is a way by which Timothy will
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relate to an older person. So it means that pointing
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to the fact that there are people that are older
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in the church, even though, yes, we are united
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in Christ, we are not... trying to bring about
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segregation in the body. We are saying that we
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are one in Christ. There's a unity that we have
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in Christ. But the Bible is not ignorant about
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how dynamic we are within the unity that we have.
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Hallelujah. So there is, therefore, a necessity
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for us to know how to relate with one another.
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It says, do not rebuke an older man, which invariably,
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you know, will also relate to an older woman,
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right? but exhort him as a father, as a father.
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Younger men as what? As brothers. So, which means
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that there are older men in the church, there
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are younger men in the church, and there are
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how we will relate with them. There is how we
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ought to relate with them. Verse 2. Older women
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as what? As mothers. Okay? With all, and then
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younger women. assist us with all purity. With
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all purity. Purity, very, very important. So
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we see here that there are older men in the church
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and there's how we relate with them. There are
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older women in church and there's how we relate
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with them. There are younger men and younger
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women in church and how we relate. We relate
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with, you know, with older men with respect,
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wisdom, and godly example. Older women with dignity.
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younger men as brothers and sisters with purity,
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respect and honor, one for another. And then
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we'll read down to verse 3, down to 16. There
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are also widows that are part of the church.
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Hallelujah. Let's read verse 3. Verse 3, move
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on to talk about widow. Honor widows who are
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really widows. All right? But if any widow has
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children or grandchildren, let them first learn.
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to show piety at home and repay their parents.
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For this is good and acceptable before God. So
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the children of the widow have a responsibility
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towards their widowed mother. Are we together?
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That they should take care of her. The church
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also has a responsibility. Let's look at this.
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But if a widow, any widow has children or grandchildren,
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let them first. Okay, the next verse. We've read
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this one, right? Now she who is really a widow
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and left alone, that is without children, trusts
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in God and continues in supplication and prayer
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night and day. But she who lives in pleasure
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is dead while she lives. Verse 7. And these things
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command that they may be blameless. But if anyone
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does not provide for his own and especially for
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those of his household, he has denied the faith
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and is worse than an unbeliever. Do not let a
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widow under 60 years old be taken into the number,
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and not unless she has been the wife of one man.
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Well reported for good works, if she has brought
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up children, if she has lodged strangers, if
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she has washed the saints' feet, if she has relieved
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the afflicted, if she has diligently followed
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every good work. But refuse the younger widows,
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for when they have begun to grow wanton against
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Christ, they desire to marry. having condemnation
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because they have cast off their first faith,
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and besides, they learn to be idle, wandering
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about from house to house, and not only idle,
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but also gossips and busybodies, saying things
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which they ought not to. Therefore I desire that
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the younger widow marry, bear children, manage
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the house, give no opportunity to the adversary
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to speak reproachfully, for some have already
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torn aside after Satan. If any believing man
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or woman has widows, let them, relieve them,
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and do not let the church be burdened, that it
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may relieve those who are really widows indeed.
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Hallelujah. So we see here that the Bible acknowledges
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this dynamics in the relationship of the believers.
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There are widows, there are children, there are
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older men, there are younger men, there are also
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poor people in the church. There are also poor
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people in the church. Galatians 2 verse 10. Galatians
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chapter 2 verse 10 speaks of those who are poor
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in the church. Galatians 2 verse 10, they desire,
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is that the right text? Galatians 2? Yes. They
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desire only that we should remember the poor.
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The very thing which I also was eager to do.
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This Paul speaking about his encounter with the
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elders, all right, in Jerusalem. So it means
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that there are people that are poor that are
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part of what? That are part of the church. So
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as we mingle, as we relate with one another,
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know that our fingers, as we do say, are not
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equal. All right? There are benefits that you
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enjoy that your brother or your sister does not
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enjoy because the person does not really have
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access to those resources. James 2, verse 15
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and 17, also talking about the poor, amiss us.
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If a brother or sister is naked and destitute
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of daily food, And one of you says to them, depart
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in peace, be warmed and filled, but you do not
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give them the things which are needed for the
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body. What does it profit? Thus also faith itself,
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if it does not have works, is dead. So this acknowledges
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the fact that there are poor people that can
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be or that are in the church. Even Jesus Christ
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himself says that the poor will always what?
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Will always be with us. Hallelujah. You can be
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rich today. It's not a prayer, but things can
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happen and you can be poor tomorrow. So because
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riches is not, sometimes it's not permanent.
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Hallelujah. And of course, poverty is not permanent.
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So situations can happen and things can change
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at any time. So we have people that are rich
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in our midst also in the church who are off to
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practice generosity and humility. 1 Timothy 6,
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verse 17. So we have also the poor with us. We
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have the rich with us. We're talking about the
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dynamics of the church, the dynamics of the body
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of Christ, the dynamics of the family of God
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on earth. 1 Timothy 6, 17 says, command those
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who are rich in this present age. So these rich
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people, where are they? They are in the church.
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Hallelujah. So the Bible did not speak against
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riches and wealth, but rather there are people
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that are blessed. in material things. Those who
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are rich in the present age do not be haughty
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nor to trust in uncertain riches, but in the
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living God who gives us riches richly, all things
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to enjoy. Verse 18. Let them do good. So with
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their riches, what should they do with their
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riches? Let them do good that they be rich in
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good works, ready to do what? To share, ready
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to give, willing to share. Hallelujah. So there
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are rich people in the church. There are poor
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people in the church. There are women in the
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church. There are men in the church. There are
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different dynamics. There are children in the
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church. The Bible acknowledges the fact that
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there are children. Ephesians chapter 6, verse
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1 to 3 speaks about children obeying their parents
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in the Lord. There are children, there are parents,
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right? Ephesians 6, verse 1, 2, 3, and 4 says,
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children, obey your parents in the Lord, for
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this is right. So Paul here acknowledges that
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there are children in the church. Honor your
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father and your mother, which is a first commandment
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that comes with promise. Then he went on that
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it may be well with you. You may live long on
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the earth. Then he went on to the father. So
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there are fathers also in the church. Not only
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that there are children, but the church also
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comprises of fathers. Fathers also have responsibility.
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He says, you fathers do not provoke your children
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to wrath. Bring them up. in the training and
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the admonition of the Lord. So responsibility
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here, bestowed upon fathers to bring up children
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in the admonition, in the training of the Lord.
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Verse 4, and youth, okay? Yes. So there are children,
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there are parents, all right? And then there
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are servants. Verse 5 and verse 9 talks about
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servants. Born servants, be obedient to those
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who are your masters. according to the flesh,
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with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart,
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as to Christ. Then to masters, not with eye services,
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as men pleases, but as born servants of Christ,
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doing the will of God from the heart, but serving
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with good will, doing service as unto the Lord,
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and not to men. All right? So in their context,
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during when Paul was writing, was... Yes, and
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he speaks about masters and vassalesses, and
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you masters do not do the same things to them,
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giving up threatening, all right? Knowing that
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your own master also is in heaven, and there's
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no partiality with him. Now, the Bible is not
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actually encouraging slavery, all right? In fact,
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this text was not written to address slavery.
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The Bible acknowledges what happens in that day
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as the fact that there are slaves that are believers.
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It actually speaks about how they can relate
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in love as they are one in Christ. Hallelujah.
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So in our own context today, there's no slavery.
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Okay? But there are employers of labor and there
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are workers. All right? So, and then in the same
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church, it could be your employer could be in
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the same church with you. And you could be working
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for somebody that is also maybe your pastor or
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your church member or the pastor is even working
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in the company that the member is even his boss
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at work. All right? So there's a dynamics of
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the relationship we have. And the Bible is not
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silent about how we ought to relate one to another.
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And also there are leaders in church. 2 Timothy
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4, verse 1 to 5. 2 Timothy 4, verse 1 to 5. It
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says, I charge you, therefore, before God and
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the Lord Jesus Christ, who will judge the living
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and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom.
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Preach the word. Talking to a preacher has a
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responsibility. Preach the word in season and
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out of season, and then he conveys, rebuke, exhort
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with all long -sovereign and teaching. For the
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time will come when they will not endure sound
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doctrine, but according to their own desires,
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because they have itching ears, they will heap
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for themselves teachers, and they will turn their
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ears away from truth and be torn aside to fables.
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But you be watchful in all things and do affliction,
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do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.
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So here Paul is writing to a pastor of a church.
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A pastor of a church. Titus 1 verse 7 to 9. Acknowledging
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the fact that in the church there are leaders.
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And the leaders have responsibility. And the
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responsibility is to teach the truth, correct
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error, and lead faithfully. For a bishop must
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be blameless. Bishops are found in the church.
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Leaders in the church must be blameless. That
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is, their own lives becomes an example for others.
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All right? Be blameless as a steward of God.
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Not safe -willed, not quick -tempered, not given
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to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but
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hospitable, a lover of what is good, sober -minded,
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just, holy, self -controlled, holding fast the
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faithful word as he has been taught. that he
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may be able to, by sound teaching, by sound doctrine,
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both to exhort and to convict those who contradict
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the truth of God's word. Hallelujah. So there
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are leaders that have a sole responsibility.
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And of course, there are followers in church.
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We're following the leadership of the leaders.
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Hebrews 13 verse 7. Hebrews 13 verse 7 speaks
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of how we deal with it. You know, it says, remember
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those who rule over you, who have spoken the
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word of God to you. whose faith follow, considering
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what? The outcome of their conduct. So there
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are people that follow leadership. And of course,
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in the church, there are also people that are
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weak in faith in the church. There are people
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that are weak in faith. There are people that
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are strong in faith. Romans 15, verse 1 and 2.
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And what we ought to do is to bear with one another
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and pursue restoration of those who are weak.
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Romans 15, verse 1 and 2. We then who are strong,
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All to do what? To bear with the scruples of
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the weak, with their mistakes, all right? With
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their ability to make mistakes. Let's give room
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for what? For people to make mistakes and not
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to please ourselves. Let each of us please his
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neighbor for his good leading toward to building
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up of the person, to the edification of the person.
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Galatians chapter six, verse one and two. Galatians
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6 verse 1 and verse 2 says, Brethren, talking
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about family, brothers and sisters, as members
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of one family, if a man is overtaken in any trespass,
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trespass simply means that you commit an offense,
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right? You who are spiritual, spiritual simply
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means that those who are mature. Spiritual doesn't
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mean that there's somebody, there's a believer.
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Every believer is spiritual. So the context of
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the word spiritual here speaks of those that
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are mature. Restore such a one in a spirit of
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what? Of gentleness. Consider yourself lest you
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also be tempted. That's two. Bear one another's
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burden and so fulfill the Lord of Christ. The
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Lord of Christ is love. Hallelujah. So we can
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have people that are weak amongst us. We can
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have people that are strong amongst us. And we
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can also have the rebellious amongst us. That's
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the dynamic of what we have in the house. There
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are rebellious and defensive persons that can
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be found even within the church of God. All right?
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So we ought to correct Titus 3, verse 9 and 11.
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Titus 3, verse 9 and 11. It says, but avoid foolish
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disputes, genealogies, contentions, and strivings
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about the law. He's talking about doctrine here.
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Avoid. Unnecessary disputes about genealogist
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contentions and striving about the law for they
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are unprofitable and useless. Reject a divisive
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man. The NLT, what does the NLT say? If people
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are causing divisions among you, give a first
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and a second warning. After that, have nothing
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to do with them. Very explicit about someone.
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Or some people, some parties that are divisive
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in their behavior in the church. Hallelujah.
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There are orphans in the church. There could
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be divorced, divorcees, or what they call them,
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divorcees. It's not an identity, but it's what
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has happened to them anyway. There are orphans
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in the church. There are people that are divorced
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individuals in the church. There are single parents
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in the church, part of a church family, and should
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be included in our pastoral responsibilities.
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Hallelujah. The Bible provides principles that
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guide the church in responding to their circumstances
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with compassion, with dignity, with truth and
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practical assistance. Because oftentimes we neglect
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the dynamics of the church and then we treat
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people with one perception, with one understanding,
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not knowing that we are diverse and we are unique.
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Hallelujah. In our context in NEC, we have people
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from different tribes and different nationalities.
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Okay? Of course, we know that there shouldn't
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be division amongst us. All right? But we cannot
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ignore the fact that we come from different places
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and different tribes, different ideologies, with
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different understanding of life, with different
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perception of life. If you come from the part
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of the world I come from, we are loud. All right?
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And then, if you're coming from, let's say, East
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Africa, our brethren seems to be very quiet and
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composed. All right? Either way, I'm not saying
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one is wrong and one is bad, but we must learn
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to walk together in love. Right? One on one another
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in love. If I know that by being loud, I'll offend
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my brother, then what do I do? I walk for the
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benefit of my brother. If I know that by being
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so quiet and too reserved and too, you know,
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locked up to myself will be an offense to my
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brother, what do I do? I open up to my brother
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and so that we can fellowship and be a blessing
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to one another. Hallelujah. We have teachers
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in our midst, professors. We have students in
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our midst, amen? And of course, we have children.
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Sometimes they may make noise during church service.
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Sometimes they may cry. We must learn to be what?
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To be accommodative one to another. Sometimes,
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you know, we once upon a time were children.
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And if your parents would give us the videotapes
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of when you were children, and when you were
25:43
younger, they will appreciate the generosity
25:47
of the children we have in our midst in church.
25:50
Hallelujah. So we must understand dynamics that
25:54
we are different, but we are one. We are unique,
25:58
different, and special, but we are one. Regardless
26:02
of the dynamics of this relationship, we cannot
26:05
ignore it. The Bible did not ignore it. Hallelujah.
26:09
Though we are united, we must walk in love, honoring
26:13
one another, because this is the will of God
26:16
for us. Hallelujah. So we've seen different ways
26:19
by which we will walk in love through the use
26:21
of words that edify. Okay? We've seen how we
26:23
walk in love through our words. We do not lie
26:26
to one another. We speak the truth. We do not
26:29
speak corrupt words. We speak words that edify.
26:32
No gossips, disguise as consent or prayer, slander
26:36
and character assassination, sarcasm or mockery
26:40
and hurtful jokes. These are things we've discussed
26:43
about in the past two weeks. We do not speak
26:46
fear and condemnation to one another. We do not
26:49
spiritually manipulate one another. Two words.
26:56
So today we're going to build on that. Two important
26:59
things that we should consider as we relate one
27:01
to another. Understanding the dynamics of our
27:04
fellowship and our relationship that we are unique.
27:06
We are different even though we are one family.
27:13
We do not boast about earthly possessions. But
27:19
we speak with humility. We do not boast about
27:24
earthly possessions. but we speak with what?
27:28
With humility. Jeremiah 9 .23. Now, sometimes
27:33
in our conversations, there's a way you speak
27:35
to the humiliation of your brother. NKJV. Jeremiah
27:41
9 .23. The Lord says a lot. Let not the wise
27:46
man glory in his wisdom. All right? Some of us
27:49
may be wise, you know, showing some level of
27:52
intelligence and wisdom. Let not the wise man
27:55
glory in his wisdom. Let not the mighty man glory
27:58
in his might, nor let the rich man glory in what?
28:03
In his riches. That is where James, I believe,
28:07
is getting his inspiration in writing what he
28:10
wrote in James. But let him who glories glory
28:15
in this, that what? That he understands and knows
28:18
me. And I am the Lord, exercising loving kindness,
28:22
judgment, and righteousness in the earth. For
28:25
in this I delight, says the Lord. Hallelujah.
28:30
1 Corinthians 13, verse 4. 1 Corinthians 13,
28:36
verse 4. It says, love suffers long and is kind.
28:43
Love does not envy. Love does not parade itself.
28:48
It is not puffed up. So in exercising love, in
28:52
working love one to another, we don't display
28:55
or parade ourselves and our achievements. to
28:59
the faces of our brothers and sisters, to show
29:02
to them that what? That we are richer than them,
29:06
that we are better than them, that we are more
29:10
advanced than them. James chapter 4, verse 13
29:16
and 16. Did we read this? James 13, 14, verse
29:19
13. James 4, rather. James 4. Yes, talking about
29:25
somebody busting. Come now, you who say today
29:28
or tomorrow, we will go and search a city. spend
29:32
a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit.
29:34
He's talking about someone that is boastful in
29:36
his words. Whereas you do not know what will
29:38
happen tomorrow, for what is your life? It is
29:41
even a vapor, and appears for a little time,
29:45
and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to
29:48
say, if the Lord wills, we shall live and do
29:52
this or that. Hallelujah. And of course, James
29:55
3, verse 14 and 16. James 3, 14 to 16. But if
30:05
you have bitter and envy and self -seeking in
30:09
your hearts, do not boast and lie against the
30:12
truth. This wisdom, what's wisdom? Wisdom that
30:15
boasts. This wisdom does not descend from above,
30:18
but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy
30:22
and self -seeking exist, confusion and every
30:25
evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is
30:29
from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle,
30:32
willing to yield. full of mercy and good fruits
30:35
without partiality and without hypocrisy. Galatians
30:40
5 .26, you can write that down. Galatians 5 .26
30:43
and then Ephesians 4 verse 29. Hallelujah. So
30:48
love does not boast. Love does not promote itself
30:51
arrogantly or use wealth or any form of achievements
30:57
or status or possessions to make others feel
31:02
inferior. By the display of what we've accumulated
31:08
on earth, our boast is in the Lord. So in our
31:12
dealings one to another, we don't boast about
31:16
our material achievement to express to others
31:24
how inferior they are. Our words should express
31:26
gratitude to God rather than superiority over
31:29
other believers. So whenever you find yourself
31:32
bragging about anything earthly, anything that
31:35
you've achieved, Either maybe your degrees, either
31:38
maybe your wealth, either maybe your whatever
31:42
it is that you've achieved that is earthly, you're
31:45
not speaking by the Spirit. Hallelujah. Because
31:49
the Spirit of God does not promote that kind
31:52
of busting. You are not speaking of the Lord.
31:55
That is a corrupt speaking. That is a corrupt
31:59
speaking. It does not edify us. It only tears
32:02
others down. It does not edify us. Hallelujah.
32:06
Similarly, we must avoid words of comparison.
32:10
Oftentimes, you just want to compare how well
32:13
you are doing than your brother or your sister.
32:17
You know, jealousy and competition is not of
32:20
the Lord. Our words should never create competitions
32:25
or make members of God's family feel inferior.
32:28
They should reflect humility. Our words, even
32:34
if we are communicating the things that we've
32:35
achieved, must communicate love must reflect
32:41
humility, must communicate gratitude and genuine
32:46
encouragement for others. Hallelujah. Mother,
32:51
we use what we have to diminish others, to write
32:55
down on other people's efforts. Sometimes when
32:57
even a brother is afraid to share with you the
32:59
little, you know, steps of successes he's making.
33:03
Because the moment he comes to you or she comes
33:05
to you, the first thing that comes out of your
33:07
mouth is to tear down the effort of the person.
33:11
is to wash down the success the person have achieved.
33:14
These are words that tears down and does not
33:17
edifies. Hallelujah. Even in Christian service,
33:22
sometimes, you know, we see how people are doing
33:24
what they're doing for the Lord and the church,
33:27
one for another. And instead of encouraging them,
33:30
we tear them down with words that speaks of envy,
33:38
jealousy, rather than edifies. Hallelujah. So
33:43
as a family, we have a responsibility and our
33:45
responsibility is to speak words that edifies
33:48
because we are dynamic, because we are unique,
33:52
because we are different, but we are one in Christ.
33:55
Hallelujah. We do not speak words of dishonor
33:58
or insult to one another. We do not speak words
34:03
of what? Of dishonor or insult to one another.
34:09
We can write this text Ephesians 4 .1 .32. James
34:13
3 .9 -10. James 3, verse 9 and verse 10. Give
34:19
me that text. James 3, verse 9 and 10. James
34:26
3, verse 9 and 10. Talking about the mouth. It
34:32
says, With it we bless our God and Father, and
34:35
with it we curse men who have been made in the
34:38
similitude of God. Verse 10. Out of the same
34:41
mouth proceed blessings and cursing. My brethren,
34:44
these things ought not to be so. Titus 3, verse
34:48
2. Titus 3, verse 2. It says what? Speak evil
34:55
of no one. Speak evil of no one to be peaceable,
35:03
gentle, showing all humility to all men. Romans
35:07
chapter 12, verse 10. Romans chapter 12, verse
35:13
10 rather. It says, be kindly affectionate to
35:16
one another with brotherly love in honor, giving
35:19
preference to one another. And of course, Galatians
35:22
6, verse 1 that we read. Galatians 6, verse 1.
35:24
They talk about how we... We correct one another
35:27
in honor. If a man is overtaken in any trespass,
35:32
you who are a spiritual resource such as one
35:33
in the spirit of what? Of gentleness. Consider
35:37
yourself less also you equally be tempted in
35:41
that same sin. Hallelujah. So as believers, we
35:46
must put away slander, malice, bitterness, insults,
35:51
mockery, humiliating statements to one another.
35:57
destructive gossips to one another. We cannot
36:00
use the same tongue to praise God. At the same
36:03
time, you know, we use the same to curse people
36:07
or to tear down people who have been met in the
36:10
very likeness and the image of God. Hallelujah.
36:13
So even so, when a fellow brother makes a mistake,
36:16
especially in these Galatians, you know, because
36:19
we have people that are weaker in understanding
36:22
the body, in understanding the dynamics of how
36:25
we are walking with one another. That means that
36:27
we should open room for offenses because people
36:29
will offend us. People will say things to us
36:33
that may be inappropriate. So we correct in love.
36:39
So even when a fellow believer makes a mistake
36:42
or struggles with spiritual growth, our words
36:45
must preserve their dignity. Our words must preserve
36:52
their dignity rather than shame or discourage
36:54
them. In our correcting one another, we must
36:58
show dignity one to another, all right? Rather
37:01
than discouragement. Correction is biblical.
37:07
Correction is biblical. Rebuke is biblical. Rebuke
37:11
is biblical, all right? But humiliation is not
37:15
necessarily part of correction. To humiliate
37:18
someone is not necessarily part of correction.
37:21
So we must be what? Responsible members of a
37:25
loving family. Our words must never destroy the
37:29
dignity. Our words must never destroy the reputation
37:35
or the confidence of those who belong to God.
37:41
They should restore. Our words should encourage.
37:46
Our words should build them up in love. Hallelujah.
37:53
Amen. So my earnest prayer and desire is that
37:58
We will be desirous to see others built up, to
38:03
see others grow, to see others become the better
38:07
version of themselves, to see others become the
38:12
best that God has created them. And we contribute
38:16
to their edification by speaking words that brings
38:18
life to them rather than speak words that destroy
38:21
and discourage and break people because our words
38:25
are powerful and they influence others around
38:28
us. Hallelujah. So, Our words shape us. Our words
38:35
also can have effect on others. Amen. So, to
38:42
the discussion part. What has someone said to
38:49
you? This is on a practical. We're going to share.
38:52
Maybe you can share with us if you're willing
38:54
to share with us. Hallelujah. What has someone
38:56
said to you? Not necessarily here in church.
39:00
Maybe from where you're coming from. That still
39:04
influences your decisions and your attitudes
39:06
today. Because some of us. Our conduct and our
39:13
action today is a result of what someone has
39:17
said to us. For example, Pazachiri, remember
39:20
when we were having the leadership training some
39:25
10 years ago, or 15, what I think, 2015, right?
39:32
And you said a word. Can you share with us? So
39:37
I think I was asking a question. And I think
39:43
I now use the word ease. Okay. So when I used
39:46
the word lazy, I think, I think we, should I
39:51
mention? Of course, of course, of course. She's
39:52
a movie Cindy. Now, I think all of a sudden she
39:55
just changed, like, practically, I couldn't understand.
39:59
Even I myself, I was like, did I say anything
40:01
wrong? So I think it was after the thing that
40:05
happened, then she came and met me and said hi
40:07
to me. I think she even said it. She shared it
40:10
to us, yes. That's why I got to know. when she
40:14
shared it to us that her mom used to call her
40:16
the lazy person and that affected her because
40:20
she knew she wasn't lazy but if the mom kept
40:23
on saying that and i told that even and we said
40:26
oh no because i thought she should she should
40:29
be in her 70 70. yes that's the other time maybe
40:33
if you close your mind 60 something but that
40:36
was still there and it just started to trigger
40:39
that was the first time Amen. And I remember
40:45
that story very well, right? Not only that it
40:48
was a trigger. In a meeting like this, he was
40:51
just asking a question and the word lazy is a
40:54
normal word. Can you remember the question? I
41:00
can't remember. But you can remember the word.
41:01
I can also remember the word too because of the
41:03
reaction I saw on her face as well. Pastor Chidi,
41:06
Pastor Ema, you were there? I think Pastor was
41:08
not there. All right. She told us later on that.
41:12
That word that was spoken to her by her mom formulated
41:17
her lifestyle. She became a workaholic to the
41:24
point that if she's seated in her house, she's
41:27
married, she has children, the children have
41:28
even married. When she sits down, the way she
41:34
became a workaholic, she must find something
41:36
to do to prove that she's not lazy. We're talking
41:41
of a believer, all right? We're talking about
41:45
somebody that is has grandchildren. But what
41:51
was spoken many, many years. And she has to find
41:55
a way of walking out of that. That what forms,
42:00
it gives her an identity. Because she's busy
42:04
fighting not to, because she believes wherever
42:08
she goes, people just see her that she's lazy.
42:09
So she has to prove that she's not lazy. So she
42:12
became addicted to work. Even going beyond her
42:15
health. Amen? Someone, Once told you that, or
42:26
maybe someone says something to you that alludes
42:28
that you are from a poor background. Or someone
42:32
says something to you that, which one will I
42:35
use now? That seems to suggest that you are poor.
42:39
Then you made up your mind that in this life,
42:43
maybe one of your uncles, right? Or your, what
42:46
do you call it? Your aunties or your friend or
42:49
somebody in the village. Then you decided that
42:52
in this life, I will never be poor. You make
42:56
a vow between God and man. That I will never
43:01
be poor. That see, I will never be poor to the
43:04
point that somebody will talk to me like the
43:06
way this person talks to me again. And that forms
43:10
the ideology by which you want to become rich.
43:15
And every day you are working hard so that what
43:19
will happen? So that you prove a point to somebody
43:21
that is not even there. Alright? That is not
43:25
even having a relationship with you anymore.
43:28
But that formulates your desire and your drive
43:31
to become successful in life so that nobody again
43:35
will define you with poverty. Amen? I remember
43:44
Pastor Kose shared something with us. Sir, should
43:48
we go there? About that brother that called you
43:50
one day. You remember? Okay, it was in the secondary
43:58
school. So this is very close to me. Very close
44:05
to me. Very, very close to me. So, but I was
44:07
in SS3, he was in SS1. Normally, in Nigeria,
44:12
you get to select your courses, define your path
44:15
from SS1. Whether you be in science, you be in
44:18
art, or whatever. So, I know he's very hardworking.
44:23
He's a smart guy. And then, I got into the class.
44:28
Normally, they would gather, lots of them would
44:30
gather around me. So, and then I asked him, I
44:33
said, Peter. I'm using Peter for underlining.
44:37
Ah, Peter, this, what do you want to become when
44:42
you leave this place or as you're moving to SS2?
44:45
He said he wants to be, no, he wants to study
44:50
economics and be a banker, right? Then, just
44:55
like that, I just said, you're going to waste
44:57
your life if you make this kind of a choice.
45:01
So I didn't know that he held that word. So,
45:06
normally, we did everything, graduated. And,
45:08
funnily, we seen the world, geez, laugh, I would
45:12
give him responsibilities. So, this guy held
45:15
that word and said he would never forget. He
45:19
held it for, from, I left them in school like
45:22
2006. Yes, around 2006, 2007, kind of. And this
45:29
guy did not talk to me till 2014, 2015. when
45:36
he graduated from the university he went and
45:39
studied the economics and then started to work
45:43
as a banker you know so and he called me okay
45:48
he reached out to me on sorry sorry not called
45:50
he reached out to me on facebook yeah hello uh
45:54
normally they will call me senior something something
45:56
my name senior body so he called me type it he
46:01
said how are you fine i thought it's a normal
46:03
He said, actually, he's sending a message to
46:06
tell me that I cannot determine somebody. So
46:10
from there, the conversation changed. So, okay,
46:14
where are we? Did I remember that I told him
46:17
so -so -so words when we were in so -so -so class?
46:21
He gave, painted everything. I said, I cannot
46:23
remember. He said, he told himself. when he graduates
46:28
from the university, he will call you. He will
46:31
call me and tell me the same thing that I cannot
46:33
determine somebody's life. So I had to apologize
46:36
from apology. I asked him, are you saved? Child,
46:39
we move because if you are saved, you will have
46:41
forgiven. You know, we now discuss and then that
46:48
was the last time we chatted. Till now, we never
46:51
chatted again. But I got the opportunity to apologize.
46:55
That's the comfort I had. I had the opportunity
46:57
to apologize and look forward to meeting him
47:00
soon, anytime. Amen, amen. Anybody want to share
47:04
with us another experience? Sir? Okay, who? Anyone,
47:17
please. Nobody want to speak? How about you ladies?
47:26
So one boy just told you that, see, he will never
47:33
find love. And then he left you. Then it became
47:41
your motivation that you will never stay single.
47:46
So you always have a reason to prove that you
47:49
are lovable and you can be loved so that our
47:52
words will not be your reality. And let me say
48:01
this. All of us were a product of influence.
48:07
All right? And I'm saying this with every sense
48:10
of seriousness. You have to check your life and
48:12
your motives for all the things that you do.
48:14
All right? The degree that you are stored in,
48:17
are you doing that because somebody has said
48:20
something? that is influencing your life that
48:23
you must prove a point to somebody. Let's be
48:29
honest. All right? Listen, people will say things
48:33
to us that influences us and we don't know that
48:35
we are working. The philosophy driving our lives
48:38
is what people have said to us. So, because of
48:45
time, I wish I have time. We could have gone
48:47
into some other aspect of this conversation.
48:49
But I just want you to understand and see that
48:53
even as a believer, okay? If I begin to ask you
48:57
one by one your experiences, you'll discover
48:58
that some of the decisions you've taken and you
49:01
are still pursuing now is motivated by what has
49:05
been said to you and you want to fight nothing
49:08
that has been said to you. Therefore, you have
49:11
to prove a point. You have to prove a point.
49:15
Hallelujah. And that is not supposed to be the
49:17
motivation of a believer. All right? I said sometimes
49:26
our present decisions are a response to past
49:29
words. We may pursue wealth. to silence our critics.
49:36
We might withdraw from fellowship to avoid being
49:38
hurt by others because in church, listen, there
49:41
may have been men of God that have used words,
49:43
you know, we talk about manipulating people through
49:44
scriptures. So already, you've already made up
49:47
your mind that once it comes to church and fellowshipping,
49:51
now you've been manipulated before and then you
49:56
will never fellowship. Even though, of course,
49:58
you know that you should be in church as a believer,
50:00
but because you've been hurt by people, by what
50:03
they've said to you, by how leadership probably
50:06
have spoken to you or by how, you know, maybe
50:09
you've interacted with a brother or a sister
50:11
in church and they may have said things to you
50:14
that have broken you and then becomes the foundation
50:17
by which you make decisions, you make conclusions,
50:21
you make resolutions. So you have to ask yourself,
50:27
what decisions or personal vows have you made
50:30
because of past hurts that is as a result of
50:34
what people have said? Some of us, it's from
50:36
our home. Like mommy Cindy, now it was her mom.
50:39
And you know, African mothers, I can tell you
50:42
this for free. We are from Africa. Sometimes
50:46
you're wondering, did you really give back to
50:48
me that you are speaking to me this way? Right?
50:52
And those words forms our ideology about life
50:57
and even about how we treat others. So am I serving
51:03
God out of love and obedience or trying to prove
51:06
something to someone? These are things you should
51:08
be asking yourself. Have the words of people
51:12
shaped my attitude more than the word of God?
51:15
Because what those words does is that it shapes
51:18
your attitude and your character. You just see
51:21
somebody who just behaves abnormally. He's a
51:23
brother and a sister. And then there will be
51:25
an abnormal behavior that is not sponsored by
51:27
the word of God. Words have been spoken that
51:32
have shaped the attitude of the person. So our
51:36
experience may explain some of our reactions.
51:40
but they must not become the foundation of our
51:43
lives. God's word and not people's opinion must
51:48
direct our decisions and relationships and ambitions
51:51
and services. Let the reason for you wanting
51:56
to be rich not be because you want to prove a
51:58
point to your neighbor, but let it be that God's
52:02
word motivates you to work hard to make money
52:04
for the glory of God. Let there be that motivation,
52:07
not that you are trying to prove a point. To
52:09
anybody, or to your parents, or to your friends,
52:11
or to anybody. Whether present, past, and future.
52:17
Let it not be that. Because the reason why you
52:19
want to marry is because somebody has said you
52:21
will never marry. So you prove a point to your
52:25
village people that yes, you've gotten a husband.
52:28
Let it be the word of God that influences the
52:31
decision and the actions you take. Not the words
52:34
of people, what people have said. Because words
52:36
have ability to shape our decisions and our actions.
52:41
So God's word and not people's opinion must direct
52:45
our decisions, our relationships, our ambitions,
52:48
and our Christian service. So we must examine
52:54
our hearts. Number one, we must acknowledge,
52:57
firstly, the word, that there's a possibility.
53:01
In fact, if you have an honest and a genuine
53:04
assessment of yourself, you will discover that
53:08
many resolutions you've made, many vows you've
53:12
made, is as a result of what people have said
53:16
to you. So, bring the word of God against what
53:21
has been said. Do you? Listen, even in leadership,
53:25
as a leader, do you know how, when we started
53:30
newly, people have said things to us, I have
53:32
to go back and sit down and consider this ministry.
53:34
Is it really my calling? Yes. Is it really my
53:39
calling? But with the love and the brotherhood
53:43
we've shared with the pastors over the years,
53:45
oftentimes we come back, we sit back, and then
53:48
we encourage ourselves in the Lord. We said that
53:50
we cannot allow the words of people to discourage
53:53
us from doing the word of God. People have said
53:58
a lot of, you know, they've criticized us rightly.
54:02
Some of the criticisms are right. Some are false
54:06
accusations. Someone said that the only thing
54:09
we do is this job, that we sleep with all the
54:11
sisters in the church. Some have said that if,
54:15
some have said that, and many, many things we've
54:18
heard. I don't want to bring them up. Do they
54:22
define how we serve? Probably you may have done
54:28
good to somebody and the person does not even
54:31
show gratitude. And what comes out of the person's
54:34
mouth is criticism and ingratitude. Do you keep
54:38
doing good or you formulate an ideology of not
54:41
helping people because somebody has said something
54:43
to you that has hurt you? I will never help anybody
54:46
again this way because somebody has treated you
54:49
or has uttered words that did not edify or did
54:53
not bless. So, we must acknowledge the wounds
55:01
that have been created. We must be honest about
55:04
the words that hurt you and how they have influenced
55:07
your behavior. That's the first thing to do.
55:09
If you don't acknowledge that you've been influenced
55:11
by what somebody has said, then you cannot walk
55:16
in liberty in that area of your life. And then
55:21
you must secondly choose to forgive. Release
55:23
bitterness and the desire for revenge. And sometimes,
55:28
you know, they used to say that, I saw some believers
55:30
who said that the revenge for what is success.
55:35
How do they use to put it? You see, the revenge
55:41
for criticism is success. How can that? How is
55:49
that the word of God? So the motivation for you
55:52
to succeed is because you want to show people
55:54
that you can succeed. That is not the word of
55:57
God. That is not the spirit of God. Hallelujah.
56:02
So we must choose to release, forgive. Forgiveness
56:06
does not mean approving wrongdoing. or denying
56:09
the pain or abandoning healthy boundaries. That's
56:11
not what we're saying. We're saying that the
56:13
words of people should not influence the action
56:16
that we take today. We must renew our minds with
56:20
God's word and replace unhealthy reactions and
56:27
limiting beliefs with biblical truth. There are
56:32
beliefs we have that are limiting us from becoming
56:34
who God wants us to become. Some of us have made
56:38
vows that when you look at it, we've made vows.
56:43
And we are willing to do us part in this life,
56:47
to stand by the vows that we've made, to prove
56:51
a point to people, to prove a point that we don't
56:55
need to prove. All that we are is what Christ
56:58
has done for us. Hallelujah. We are de -affected
57:01
by who Christ is and what he has done for us.
57:06
Hallelujah. So we must have personal reflection.
57:18
What is someone's words that have influenced
57:19
me? The way those words have affected me, my
57:25
decision, how have they affected my decisions
57:27
and the way I live my life now? What are the
57:30
biblical truth I need to embrace to do what?
57:33
To counter those things that have formulated
57:36
my mind and my perceptions and the way I respond
57:41
to people. What practical steps will I take towards
57:46
healing, forgiveness, and transformation? So
57:53
as we close, do not allow yesterday's insults.
58:00
to determine today's ambitions. I love that word.
58:03
Do not allow yesterday's insults to do what?
58:06
To determine today's ambitions. Do not allow
58:11
yesterday's betrayals to dictate today's relationships.
58:16
Do not allow yesterday's accusations to weaken
58:20
today's service to God. Let your desire for wealth
58:26
be guided by godly stewardship. Your service
58:30
by love for Christ. and your relationship with
58:33
others by the truth of God's word and not inspired
58:37
by words that have been said that has broken
58:39
our spirit, that have really shattered us in
58:44
insight. And then we've built, you know, resolutions
58:47
and vows that are not healthy. Hallelujah. And
58:51
you know what? Sometimes even the words I've
58:53
spoken to us, the context of that speaking may
58:56
not even be bad. The words that those persons,
58:59
people say to us may not even be, But sometimes
59:05
even our maturity influences how we react. Listen,
59:09
even if I tell you I love you today, your perception,
59:14
your response will be dependent on how you view
59:20
things in life. If I just walk up to you and
59:24
say I love you, and then you remember how somebody
59:27
has told you they love you and then he has betrayed
59:29
you, do you know that you're going to look at
59:30
what I'm saying with a lens of your experience
59:33
of the past? And you build up. So what I'm trying
59:37
to say is that sometimes people can see, no matter
59:39
how people say things to you, even if they lie
59:41
on the ground and they tell you sorry. I've been
59:45
in a conversation with somebody here in church,
59:46
named with help. And then something happened
59:51
between myself and the person and I said, I'm
59:53
sorry. We're just joking and talking and I said,
59:56
I'm sorry. The person just changed and started
59:59
shouting and screaming. Why won't you tell me
1:00:01
how you are sorry? The person, to the point of
1:00:04
tears. I was wondering, when I say sorry, was
1:00:09
I shouting? Was I being at the top of my voice?
1:00:14
Was I being malicious, insane sorry? Was I being
1:00:20
coerced? And, you know, how did I say sorry that
1:00:25
that inflates the reaction that I'm getting from
1:00:28
this person? I just have to keep quiet. And later
1:00:33
on, I announced that the person that I will begin
1:00:35
to talk. And I discover that this person has
1:00:39
been hurt so much. And whenever this person is
1:00:43
hurt by another person, the excuse is sorry.
1:00:47
So that sorry I said was a trigger. Hallelujah.
1:00:52
So you see that there is a problem. It's not
1:00:54
even how I said or what I said that triggered
1:00:56
the person. And formulates the person's perception
1:00:59
of the hurt that maybe my conversation have offended
1:01:01
the person. Hallelujah. So we must walk in this
1:01:06
understanding. And walking in love is not just
1:01:11
easy. It's difficult. But we have the Spirit
1:01:14
of God to guide us, to help us, so that we'll
1:01:16
be able to be beneficial one to another. Hallelujah.
1:01:19
Not only that we speak to one another in love.
1:01:24
Listen, let's hear one another, what? In love.
1:01:29
Are we together? So that we'll be able to be
1:01:32
of a blessing to one another. We can have this
1:01:34
at the back of your mind that I can misunderstand
1:01:36
what you're saying. So I have room enough for
1:01:39
you to offend me. That goes a long way in helping
1:01:43
us to live together and even in our conversation,
1:01:46
in our walking in love, we can step on each other's
1:01:48
foot and we can say we are sorry, we can acknowledge
1:01:51
and say this thing I've done is wrong and I apologize
1:01:54
to you and we are sorry and we walk on in love
1:01:56
because that is the plan of God for us. Hallelujah.
1:02:00
And there's no shame about being wrong. Amen.
1:02:04
Anybody that feels shameful when he's wrong,
1:02:07
like when he always, there are some people that
1:02:10
whenever They don't want to be caught to be wrong.
1:02:16
They never acknowledge that they are wrong. They
1:02:18
never want to be proved that they are wrong.
1:02:22
That in itself is pride and arrogance and is
1:02:25
not godly. Hallelujah. We appreciate you being
1:02:29
here today. We hope you carry this word with
1:02:32
you throughout your week. Don't forget to check
1:02:35
the show notes for additional insights. Stay
1:02:37
connected with us through our website or follow
1:02:40
us on social media. If you were encouraged, share
1:02:44
this message with someone you care about. Until
1:02:47
next time, stay blessed.