Latest / Apostle Lazarus Femi / From Dysfunctionality To Functionality (Part 2)

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From Dysfunctionality To Functionality (Part 2) · Apostle Lazarus Femi

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  Speaker 1: Apostle Femi Lazarus is a man raised by God to
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  Speaker 1: demonstrate his wisdom and authority to the last day church.
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  Speaker 1: He is the lead pastor of Sphere of Light Church
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  Speaker 1: and God told him years ago that a time will
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  Speaker 1: come where my wisdom will be needed to navigate tough
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  Speaker 1: times in the body of Christ.
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  Speaker 2: Then I will cause your voice to be heard.
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  Speaker 1: And all who pay attention to my word on your
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  Speaker 1: lips will not lack light and direction. He is a
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  Speaker 1: man sent from God, sent to raise God's end time armies.
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  Speaker 1: With Apostle Fermi Lazarus, every minute counts as you listen attentively.
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  Speaker 2: We honor your holy name, Jesus. And we thank you.
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  Speaker 2: Before the beginning began. You have been. And when all things.
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  Speaker 2: Folds up. You will still be here. You don't need
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  Speaker 2: me to be the kind of God. That you are.
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  Speaker 2: You are God all by yourself. I return all praise.
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  Speaker 2: And glory to you. And as a house. We are
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  Speaker 2: grateful Lord. And we thank you. Blessed be your holy name.
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  Speaker 2: In Jesus' mighty name, we are praying. All right, let's
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  Speaker 2: put our hands together for Jesus. Amen. Is that the
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  Speaker 2: best you can do? Thank you. Amen. You may please
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  Speaker 2: be seated.
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  Speaker 3: God bless you.
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  Speaker 4: All right.
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  Speaker 2: Let's turn our Bibles quickly to the book of Genesis. Genesis.
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  Speaker 2: We'll start the reading from Genesis 1 from verse 26.
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  Speaker 2: Then we go to Genesis chapter number 2. Then we
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  Speaker 2: go to Genesis 3 so we can lay proper foundation
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  Speaker 2: Genesis 1 from verse 26 and God said let us
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  Speaker 2: make man in our image and after our likeness and
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  Speaker 2: let him have dominion over the fish of the sea
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  Speaker 2: and over the fowl of the hair and over the
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  Speaker 2: cattle and over all the head and over every creeping
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  Speaker 2: thing that creeps on the head So God created man
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  Speaker 2: in his own image. In the image of God created
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  Speaker 2: he him. Male and female created he them. Okay. Verse 28.
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  Speaker 2: And God blessed them. And God said to them, be fruitful. Multiply.
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  Speaker 2: and replenish the earth. So you understand that the word
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  Speaker 2: replenish means to refill. Subdue it, and have dominion over
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  Speaker 2: the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of
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  Speaker 2: the air, and over every living thing that moves on
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  Speaker 2: the earth. Alright, so this is the intention of God
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  Speaker 2: from the beginning, let us make man. And I want
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  Speaker 2: to lay foundation now. Okay? Okay? So the design is
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  Speaker 2: male and female. Is that basic enough? Unfortunately, it is
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  Speaker 2: not as basic as we think. That's the design. There
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  Speaker 2: is no such thing as the way I was created,
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  Speaker 2: I am attracted to my own sex. That's not the
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  Speaker 2: order of creation. Because we are discovering that that abnormality
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  Speaker 2: is not stopping there. people are marrying dogs and marrying
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  Speaker 2: donkeys and I've seen someone got married to a tree
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  Speaker 2: and I think the most recent one I've seen was
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  Speaker 2: a woman who got tired of waiting and then married herself.
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  Speaker 2: And all this is coming from the idea that we
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  Speaker 2: should just do whatever makes us feel good. And I
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  Speaker 2: think I spoke about that on Sunday. That sometimes what
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  Speaker 2: makes you feel good is not good. Sometimes what makes
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  Speaker 2: you feel good is not what? Good. There are things
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  Speaker 2: your flesh may desire but they are wrong. Is that
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  Speaker 2: okay now? They are what? Wrong. So that's the foundation.
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  Speaker 2: So when God made man from the beginning, the Bible
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  Speaker 2: said he made man what? Male and female. Meaning that
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  Speaker 2: God had the idea, the consciousness of family from the
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  Speaker 2: very beginning. It was not church first. It was family first.
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  Speaker 2: Is that okay now? It was not church first. It
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  Speaker 2: was family first. That's the idea. The church is a
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  Speaker 2: part of the society. But the family is the foundation
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  Speaker 2: of the society. The people you see in different walks
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  Speaker 2: of life are all coming from one place. From the
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  Speaker 2: doctor that saves lives to the one who kills people,
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  Speaker 2: they are coming from different places. So the idea from
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  Speaker 2: the beginning is what? Family. Say after me, family. Say
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  Speaker 2: after me again, family. That's God's idea when he created man. Family.
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  Speaker 2: So you can't be afraid of getting married and Because,
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  Speaker 2: I mean, we are not dead. So whenever you say, oh,
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  Speaker 2: happy wedding anniversary, are you deceiving us? No, you are not. Amen?
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  Speaker 2: So that's the idea. God is family conscious. In fact,
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  Speaker 2: when he said, let us make man in our image,
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  Speaker 2: what he wanted was family. What he wanted was what?
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  Speaker 2: Are you with me now? Now, pay attention to this.
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  Speaker 2: The moment the devil saw that family was God's design
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  Speaker 2: and idea, the first thing the devil thought was family.
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  Speaker 2: Genesis chapter number 3. Let me jump Genesis 2 for
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  Speaker 2: the sake of time because we have a long way
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  Speaker 2: to go. Now look at Genesis chapter number 3. Let's
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  Speaker 2: start the reading from verse 1. If you are there,
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  Speaker 2: say Amen. Now the serpent was more subtle than any
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  Speaker 2: beast of the field which the Lord God had made.
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  Speaker 2: And he said to the woman, Yes, as God said
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  Speaker 2: to you that you shall not eat of every tree
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  Speaker 2: of the garden. Now you must understand the intelligence. in
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  Speaker 2: that question. That's not a simple question. Sometimes intelligent things
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  Speaker 2: may look casual, but that's a very deep question. See,
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  Speaker 2: when the serpent is saying that, as God said that
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  Speaker 2: you cannot eat of any tree of the garden, what
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  Speaker 2: that insinuates is God must be cruel. So he left
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  Speaker 2: you here to starve. You see, let me tell you something.
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  Speaker 2: Look up. Beware of people will give you the impression
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  Speaker 2: that you're under a bondage only to bring you under
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  Speaker 2: greater bondage. Ah! Really?
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  Speaker 3: Ah!
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  Speaker 2: Are you the one your wife is treating like that?
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  Speaker 2: Oh my God! She didn't know what God gave her.
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  Speaker 2: If she knows what, they are pampering your head. Until
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  Speaker 2: you get to this same one and that head is
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  Speaker 2: knocked out. Ah! Are you the one your husband is
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  Speaker 2: treating like this? My God, imagine your ex coming to
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  Speaker 2: tell you, how you don't want your husband to talk
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  Speaker 2: to you like that? Oh my, if only he knows
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  Speaker 2: what God gave him. So, Olga, you saw her now,
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  Speaker 2: why didn't you go for her? You don't interrupt people's family.
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  Speaker 2: You people are quiet now. Huh? All this extreme care,
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  Speaker 2: my God. Imagine somebody just see my wife and say,
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  Speaker 2: Such a beautiful woman. Are you the one that posts
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  Speaker 2: with this thing like that? I will interrupt. What do
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  Speaker 2: you mean? Come, let's talk man to man. You see
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  Speaker 2: a man like you here, you are asking... No, I
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  Speaker 2: will have to interrupt. Imagine taking your wife to eat
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  Speaker 2: somewhere and another man is coming and saying, is this
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  Speaker 2: what he can afford? But he's just being stingy. Man
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  Speaker 2: like me. So the devil came to a paintbrush. God
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  Speaker 2: bad but actually to bring them under bondage that they
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  Speaker 2: were not and that's why if you look at the
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  Speaker 2: direction of the conversation God knows that the day you
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  Speaker 2: eat of this tree you become like him so God
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  Speaker 2: must be keeping some things away from you He knows
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  Speaker 2: what he knows. You see, let me tell you something.
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  Speaker 2: When God... Please pay attention. This is a fundamental knowledge
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  Speaker 2: you need to have. When God blesses you with something,
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  Speaker 2: don't listen to any voice that gives you the impression
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  Speaker 2: that God has not done enough. Is that okay now?
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  Speaker 2: When God blesses you with your own spouse, look at
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  Speaker 2: that spouse with gratitude. Look at that spouse with gratitude.
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  Speaker 2: And tell yourself always, godliness with contentment. What? Great game.
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  Speaker 2: All right. I've shared the story with you. I went
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  Speaker 2: to buy a TV years back. I had my budget.
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  Speaker 2: I had my budget. So me walking through the showroom
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  Speaker 2: is not for anything. It's to check which one meets
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  Speaker 2: my budget. So I bought my budget. All right. And
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  Speaker 2: a lady came and said, oh. Sorry, sir. There's this
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  Speaker 2: new TV. You've not seen it. I said, this one,
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  Speaker 2: it's touchscreen. I said, I don't want. Anything after I
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  Speaker 2: have paid what I can afford will only bring me sorrow.
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  Speaker 2: Nothing is small until you compare it. You see that now?
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  Speaker 2: Nothing is small until you compare it. The fact that
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  Speaker 2: you want to show me, I paid what I can.
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  Speaker 2: Should I steal money for this one? Are you following
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  Speaker 2: what I'm saying here? As far as life is concerned,
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  Speaker 2: this is what God has for me. Okay? Listen to
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  Speaker 2: what I'm saying. There is no design for another satisfaction
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  Speaker 2: outside this. In this one life, this is God's design. Period. See,
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  Speaker 2: there's nothing more. It is superfluity of nothingness. Look at
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  Speaker 2: what the Bible says. James verse 21. James verse 21.
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  Speaker 2: You must learn to look at your spouse and say
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  Speaker 2: you are enough. Are you there? James 1 verse 21.
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  Speaker 2: Now look at this. Let me start the reading from here.
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  Speaker 2: James 1 from verse 21 says, Wherefore lay apart all
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  Speaker 2: filthiness and superfluity of what? Nautilus. and received with meekness
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  Speaker 2: the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.
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  Speaker 2: So there is such a thing as called superfluity of naughtiness.
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  Speaker 2: Have you driven on the road before and you see
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  Speaker 2: something that looks like water in front, only to get
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  Speaker 2: there and discover that there's nothing there? We call it
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  Speaker 2: a mirage. Anything the devil promises outside what God has
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  Speaker 2: to give you is a mirage. Let me tell you
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  Speaker 2: this in case for those who are still single and
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  Speaker 2: this will save you. You see, if you live your
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  Speaker 2: life the way God has designed for you to live
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  Speaker 2: your life, one of the blessedness you will have is
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  Speaker 2: that you will have no basis of what to compare
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  Speaker 2: your spouse with. Are you following what I'm saying here? Now,
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  Speaker 2: I'm going to give you the balance. Let's say you've
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  Speaker 2: not exposed yourself to unnecessary things. Let me keep it
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  Speaker 2: at that. You have no basis for comparing your spouse.
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  Speaker 2: But you see, the moment you have a spouse and
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  Speaker 2: you have certain individuals and say, ah, I wish my
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  Speaker 2: wife is as sweet as that or my husband is
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  Speaker 2: as good as that. That's the base, that's the foundation
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  Speaker 2: of problems. So what do you do? If you notice
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  Speaker 2: that you have had certain exposure, either you are married
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  Speaker 2: or unmarried, and you see that this can form a
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  Speaker 2: blockade in my heart, you pray it out. Are you
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  Speaker 2: following what I'm saying there? You do what? You pray
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  Speaker 2: it out. You see, you plead the blood of Jesus
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  Speaker 2: over your mind. Many people have not believed that prayer
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  Speaker 2: solves things. They've not believed. People don't believe. We talk
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  Speaker 2: about prayer, but only few knows the power of prayer.
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  Speaker 2: Only few. Are you with me now? Don't be afraid.
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  Speaker 2: Do you believe in the power of prayer?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Are you aware that God can help you forget an
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  Speaker 2: ex that you can't forget?
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  Speaker 1: Ah.
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  Speaker 2: An ex that has left you with too much to remember.
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  Speaker 2: I'm telling you. He will help you. So lay apart
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  Speaker 2: all filthiness, every thought. Wrong thinking. Wrong. Don't let the
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  Speaker 2: devil give you things to nurse. And that's why I'm
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  Speaker 2: going somewhere. If you are going to live the quality
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  Speaker 2: of life that God wants to live, block the devil out.
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  Speaker 2: Block every channel. And I've said this again and again.
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  Speaker 2: You don't really have a business with your ex. That
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  Speaker 2: doesn't mean you are keeping malice. There's something called safe distance.
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  Speaker 2: And sometimes what is safe is that there's no communication
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  Speaker 2: at all. Are you with me? I'm telling you. Sometimes
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  Speaker 2: what is safe is that there's no communication. I thank
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  Speaker 2: God for you and join your life. Be good and
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  Speaker 2: God bless you. If you take it to the point
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  Speaker 2: where you are now discussing with your ex about your
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  Speaker 2: wife or about your husband that is not treating me right.
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  Speaker 2: I wish we are together. I wish it was you
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  Speaker 2: I married. I wish what happened never happened. I wish
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  Speaker 2: we never had to go separate ways. It's not going
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  Speaker 2: to get you anywhere. Let me tell you something. If
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  Speaker 2: you pray against adultery, then avoid your ex. Particularly if
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  Speaker 2: it is an ex that both of you have history.
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  Speaker 2: In terms of touching each other. Are you with me now?
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  Speaker 2: Now don't look at me like you don't understand what
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  Speaker 2: I'm saying. Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm not
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  Speaker 2: speaking King James. I'm speaking message. Do you understand what
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  Speaker 2: I'm saying? Because everywhere is calm. Amen.
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  Speaker 3: Hmm.
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  Speaker 2: There are certain things to be careful of in this life.
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  Speaker 2: I'm telling you that you don't want to open the
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  Speaker 2: door for temptation. There are kinds of gym instructors you
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  Speaker 2: will avoid. True? Talk to me now. I'm telling you.
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  Speaker 2: Because of your mind. This person is everything you have
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  Speaker 2: ever wished for. He has the chest. Your husband told
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  Speaker 2: me he's already out. And when he comes, the way
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  Speaker 2: he walks, even your husband is looking through the window
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  Speaker 2: and saying, is this my house? And he's saying, I
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  Speaker 2: don't want to see that guy. He said, I just
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  Speaker 2: like him. I just like him. He's the best around.
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  Speaker 2: My friend, get a female gym instructor. What do you mean?
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  Speaker 2: I mean, this gym instructor will finish and massage you
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  Speaker 2: and be, what kind of? But I'm saying that good
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  Speaker 2: homes demand sacrifices. Yes. Demand sacrifices. Are you following what
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  Speaker 2: I'm saying here? Demand sacrifices. Because that's God's original design.
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  Speaker 2: So what happened from the beginning? The family system was
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  Speaker 2: messed up because of sin. Man was corrupted with his
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  Speaker 2: seeds in his loins. And what happened? He gave birth
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  Speaker 2: to a dysfunctional child. Cain. You see, children become exposed
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  Speaker 2: to attack once parents are not getting it right. There
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  Speaker 2: are battles that people started fighting in life that they
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  Speaker 2: would have no business fighting if somebody got it right.
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  Speaker 2: If somebody obeyed God. If somebody listened to God. If
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  Speaker 2: somebody paid the price. Are you following what I'm saying here?
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  Speaker 2: Very important. So you tell yourself from the get-go, I
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  Speaker 2: will not expect privileges without sacrifices. And you see, anybody
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  Speaker 2: can be loud talking about privileges until time comes to
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  Speaker 2: pay the price. I'm telling you. The moment time comes
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  Speaker 2: to pay the price, you know who is who. So
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  Speaker 2: you will inform yourself again and again. I will pay
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  Speaker 2: the price for my children yet unborn. I didn't hear
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  Speaker 2: amen to that. I will pay the price. for my
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  Speaker 2: children yet unborn. I will be to them the kind
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  Speaker 2: of father I never had. I will be to them
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  Speaker 2: the kind of mother I never had. That's the way
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  Speaker 2: to think. You see, you don't sit down sulking. I'm
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  Speaker 2: going to get into some deep stuff. But you don't
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  Speaker 2: sit down sulking and say, I wish, I wish, I wish.
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  Speaker 2: Convert that energy into building. Anger is a very important
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  Speaker 2: commodity in life. Sometimes you will never get anywhere without anger.
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  Speaker 2: Anger will push you. And I mean good anger, not
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  Speaker 2: the one you break. It will push you to think differently.
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  Speaker 2: It will push you to see life differently. Are you
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  Speaker 2: following what I'm saying here? Anger. That you have seen things,
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  Speaker 2: you hate the way they are, but you have learned
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  Speaker 2: to channel that emotions into building right. You will build right.
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  Speaker 2: You will build right. You will build right. Your children
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  Speaker 2: will never have to fight the battles you fought. They
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  Speaker 2: will never have to go through the pain you went through.
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  Speaker 2: They will never have to suffer the things you suffered.
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  Speaker 2: You will build right. You will build right. At the
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  Speaker 2: end of the day, your children will call you blessed
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  Speaker 2: in the name of Jesus. They will call you blessed.
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  Speaker 2: Sit down for a moment. Let me also say this.
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  Speaker 2: It may be a bit off, but please listen attentively.
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  Speaker 2: Now look at this. The moment we open the door
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  Speaker 2: for the devil to attack our minds, to attack the
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  Speaker 2: foundation of families, to attack our perception about how a
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  Speaker 2: home is to be built, you cannot avoid the consequence.
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  Speaker 2: Are you with me? Because sometimes the mind is, what's
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  Speaker 2: going to happen? Relax. See, doing things wrong and avoiding
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  Speaker 2: consequences is like falling from a very tall place and saying, no,
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  Speaker 2: I can't die. God designed life by the principle of
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  Speaker 2: cause and effect. That there are certain things that are
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  Speaker 2: necessary effect of doing certain things wrong. If you get
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  Speaker 2: certain things right, there are things that will be right too.
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  Speaker 2: If you want length of days, there are things that
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  Speaker 2: the Bible says to do. If you breach that contract,
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  Speaker 2: it will affect the length of your days. If you
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  Speaker 2: want your days to be sweet and interesting, there are
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  Speaker 2: things that the Bible says to do. The moment you
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  Speaker 2: breach that contract, it will affect the quality of the
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  Speaker 2: life you live. If you want to have children who
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  Speaker 2: will know God, there is a way to build that
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  Speaker 2: kind of family. The moment you breach that pattern, you
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  Speaker 2: cannot avoid the effect. You see, let me tell you this.
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  Speaker 2: To breach pattern, the moment a pattern is built, the
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  Speaker 2: only thing that can bring balance again is mercy. You
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  Speaker 2: cannot really compare the pain of children who did not
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  Speaker 2: see this functionality with the ones who saw this functionality.
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  Speaker 2: You cannot compare their orientation in the way they see life,
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  Speaker 2: in the way they perceive God, in the way they
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  Speaker 2: perceive church, in the way they perceive family. The moment
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  Speaker 2: the bridge is broken, certain things are necessary consequences. You
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  Speaker 2: will not be the one to break the bridge of
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  Speaker 2: your own home. You will not be the one to
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  Speaker 2: break the bridge of your family. You will not be
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  Speaker 2: the one to break the bridge of your household. Are
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  Speaker 2: you following what I'm saying here? Let me tell you this.
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  Speaker 2: You are coming from a place where right now you
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  Speaker 2: are the only one trying to think differently. They will
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  Speaker 2: sin with impunity. No accountability structure. Nobody takes responsibility for
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  Speaker 2: any action. Here you are struggling and fighting. You may
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  Speaker 2: look down on yourself. That why am I battling with this?
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  Speaker 2: I'm not saying remain there. But I'm saying keep fighting
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  Speaker 2: the good fight of faith. Never get to the point
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  Speaker 2: where you give up. And say no, no, no. Since
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  Speaker 2: this person has done it, this one has done it,
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  Speaker 2: who am I? The hand who has separated you, that
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  Speaker 2: same hand will keep you. That pattern that you don't
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  Speaker 2: want to repeat, you will not repeat it. In that
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  Speaker 2: area that you don't want to fail. You will not fail.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: And you are where it can become so bad. That
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: those who have failed in certain areas will wait for
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: you to fail too. Because you must prove. You that
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: you claim to be different with all your church. You
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: show us how you are different. And sometimes it can
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: be so bad. That the home that the child came from.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: The same home is waiting. When it fails, come back
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: to us. You think you know better than us? You
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: think you can do better? You think you have found
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: any Jesus? When you fail, come back. But unto him
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: that is able to keep you from falling. Unto him
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: that is able to keep you from falling. Unto him
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: that is able to present you spotless. It is a
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: big lie from the pit of hell. You will not fail.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: Please be seated. I believe that the church as a
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: family structure is the replacement for compromised family systems. Sometimes
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: it can be unfortunate. You see, what you are allowing
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: to get complicated bit by bit can become so bad
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: that you or yourself as a father or mother, you
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: begin to walk on your hand with the devil. Everything
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: the devil ever wanted for your children, you are now
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: the one pronouncing them in curses because you have not
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: given Jesus a place in their house. It will not
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: be your portion. Are you aware what I'm saying is
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: a reality? That somebody can be getting married in a
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: place and they look at you and say, since you
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: have been trying to prove that you are better than us,
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: let's see how you will go about it. And are
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: you aware that the ill wish of men has power?
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: Their thinking has power. This is the reason why it
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: goes beyond having a good heart. There are things you
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: must dislodge with prayer. There are times you start sinning
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: yourself and say, no, this is not so found in Christ.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: Are you following what I'm saying here? This looks like
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: I'm about to repeat a pattern. Don't just hear someone pray.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: Particularly when it looks like if you do it, you'll
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: not be the first one to do it. If you
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: get this tired out of wedlock, you'll not be the
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: first one to have it. If you have adultery now
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: as a case, you'll not be the first to have it.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: It looks like the family system is conducive for it.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: When you hear a sermon like this, don't just say amen.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: You pray yourself out of desires. You pray yourself out
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: of temptations. You pray yourself out of certain thinkings. Are
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: you following what I'm saying here? You look at your
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: life and say, in the name of Jesus Christ, I insist.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: It will not go the direction of the rest. In
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: the name of Jesus, I insist. It will not go
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: the direction of the rest. I am different. Watch through
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: the blood of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Breaking out of
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: this functionality is a warfare. Sometimes the war is with
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: your emotions first. You don't know how to reciprocate love.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: You look at yourself. You say things, you regret saying it,
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: but you know where it is coming from. You respond
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: and react to matters in a certain way. You regret it,
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: but you know it is because of the things I faced.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: It's okay. Don't cut yourself to sizes. You have made
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: that mistake. Lock the door! Lock the door! In the
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: name of Jesus, I can love correctly. In the name
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: of Jesus, I respond correctly. In the name of Jesus,
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: I see life correctly. In the name of Jesus, I
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: am no longer afraid. In the name of Jesus, trauma
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: is broken. Sometimes if you don't get like this, you
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: keep making the same mistakes again. Are you following what
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: I'm saying here? You must learn to pray for yourself. See, listen.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: Don't sit down, cutting yourself to sizes and say, why
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: am I like this? Why am I like this? I've
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: done it again.
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: No! Pray!
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: How do you pray for everyone else except you? Pray!
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it looks like something is pushing this person that
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: with your own hand, you will destroy your home. You
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: say things, you wonder, what have I done? But that
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: reaction is coming from a place, a wound that is open.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: The devil takes advantage of pain to manipulate lives and destinies.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: You see, this wound is still open. Jesus, you are
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: the balm of Gilead. I expose this wound to you.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: Let your life and breath blow upon these things. What
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: was missing in my life, you have replacement for it.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: I might have grown up without a family structure, but
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: I've come to expose myself to you. Help me. And
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: that's what I've told you. One of the best prayers
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: you can pray is, It's Jesus. Help me. Is anyone
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: saying it again? Help me. Say it again. Help me.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: Say it again. Help me. I cannot help myself. Help me.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: I shared my story with you before. At certain point
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: in my life, I couldn't attend wedding ceremonies. Wedding, when
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: people tell me they are getting married, I look at
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: them and I say, only fools are getting married. What
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: do you mean by getting married? When I'm forced as
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: a leader pastoring people on campus and I have to
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: attend one of their weddings, I sit down at the
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: back and I fold my hands, shaking my head. When
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: it's time to take the vow, I will get out.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: I never, maybe the only vow I ever witnessed in
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: my life before I got married, maybe two or three,
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: I will never vow. I did not know that a
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: quiet decision has been made in my mind that I'm
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: not getting married, at least not yet. You'll be in
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: a relationship. The moment the girl start mentioning introduction, into what?
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: Into what? Consider me gone. And sometimes, you have been
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: conditioned like that. And you don't know why. You know
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: you can carry certain things, you don't even know where
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: it came from. You are trying to trace, at what
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: point in my life did this fear become a part
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: of me? You may not be able to tell. But
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: the thing is that it's actually there. Once you see it,
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: it must die. You start telling yourself, I can marry
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: like the rest. No, I can and I will. I
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: will not perceive marriage as prison. No. It is not
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: a place where people are taken to for slaughter.
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: No.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: I will have a good one. Are you following what
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: I'm saying here? Confession of faith is beyond just talking.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: Three entities must hear. God, the devil, and yourself. You
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: keep saying it. He said, my ears are not heavy
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: that I can't hear you. My hands are not short
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: that I can't see you. He hears you. The devil
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: needs to know what you have decided to insist upon.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: So he can try another way. The last entity that
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: needs to hear is you. God can permit something good,
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: but you have not permitted it. Everyone is afraid. There
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: are too many stories to go around. Oh God. Oh God.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. Anytime the devil succeed in
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: doing something around, he wants to also generalize it. If
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: I can do this, I can make your own bad too.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: But not lie. Are you following what I'm saying here?
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: Sometimes the fear is, every good person around me is married.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: Who is left? Did you read the story of Abraham?
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: that took the knife on the plane of Moriah to
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: slaughter Isaac, and God said, don't lay your hand on
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: that child, for there's a ram caught in the ticket.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: There is always somebody around you can't see. No, there is.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: There are individuals that it will take God to bring
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: you together. Are you following what I'm saying here? It
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: doesn't matter how much you can search, it is God
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: who reveals. Never live in that fear that since I'm
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: getting old, anything that comes, I didn't say anyone, there
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: are things. There are things. I pray for you from
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: the depth of my heart. Your hands will not become
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: wrongly joined in marriage. Say amen loud and clear. So
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: on Sunday I showed you that there are consequences for
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: certain decisions or directions that people have decided to talk.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: The moment I make up my mind, through the grace
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: of God that strengthens me, that I will live a
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: life of faithfulness, commitment to the vows of marriage, and
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: serve God and my generation in my own time, there
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: are consequences for that decision. And there are good consequences.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: Failure to make a decision is a decision. Say, both
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: of you have started a relationship. What's your view about
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: sexual purity? Let God just help us. Nalai. Say, you
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: know this thing. So, only God helps people. You see,
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: people are very smart. When they are elders today, now
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: no skill. Only God helps people. So, I've just said
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: that only God will help us, you know. Okay, what
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: decision have you made in partnership with that help that
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: you want to receive? What is the help coming to strengthen?
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: Are you following what I'm saying there? Listen to what
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: I'm saying. You must decide on everything. That I will
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: not shout at my spouse must be a decision. Say,
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: let's just see how it goes. You know, some things
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: can trigger. No, no, don't leave it open-ended. Don't leave
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: it open-ended. The reason why a man can lift his
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: hands and slap the wife or the woman, because now
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: we must put the boat, can also raise the hand
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: and slap the man is because both of them left
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: that decision open-ended. I know God will help me, but
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: you know, let's just pray that I will not be
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: provoked because the devil is really a stupid devil. Let's
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: just pray. Because provocation is not really a good thing
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: and all that. That's a potential killer. Are you following
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying here? Do you, I mean, have you
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: seen marriage vows online that will you love, honor, and
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: submit to this man as the head of this union?
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: Say love, honor, and sub what? Submit what? He's asking what?
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: The man is there smiling. He said, just say it,
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: just say it for the camera. In another three months,
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: you are crying. You are crying. I think I saw one.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: He said, will you do everything? He said, including your phone.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: He said, including what? This is just a relationship, bro.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: Six months. Several times he would get so close and
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: he would hold it back. He said he has self-control.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: I've observed him. You see, nobody, you have not found
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: a better lawyer than a girl who is trying to
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: defend her reason for marrying a bad guy. But she
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: will win, with that man, she will win any case
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: in court. With good defense. We are seeing that you
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: are about to enter into what I say.
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: No, no.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: It's because you don't know him. Because you don't know him.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: If you know him.
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: How many of you can really say the fellow who
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: gave you those scars, you did not see before you
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: say yes to the person? You saw it now. Let's
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: just wave it. I mean, people change. The mother couldn't
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: change him. Salvation did not change him. The Holy Ghost
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: has been there, did not change him. Say, no, no,
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: I will change him. Unchangeable changer. Yeah. I will change him. See,
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: I've taught before in secondary school, I mean, when I
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: relate to people, I change them. Just a pirate's article
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: of frustration. You are looking at somebody who will cry
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: for a long time. And vice versa too, boys. Tears
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: are not compulsory. They can be avoided. See, go back home.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: Don't say, you are talking to us, what about that person? No,
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: face you too first. You focus on yourself. Now that
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: I'm not even married, I don't even know the person
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: I'm going to marry. I've heard people say things like, God,
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: let this person to be here in a post-war this season.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know. But you hear me.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: Is that okay now? And go back and lock yourself up.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: I might have seen my mother shout down at my dad.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: I will not. My house will not become a place
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: of shouting and noises. No. We will not do that.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: I might have seen my dad do this to my mother.
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: I will not do it as a man. I pledge
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: my absolute devotion to God. And to the vows of marriage.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: It is a warfare. What did I say? Patterns are
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: easy to repeat. Right? Any ground the father lose becomes
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: a field that the children will fight in. So you
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: separate yourself. In the name of Jesus Christ, I am
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: covered with the blood of Jesus. It is not enough
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: to eat a thing. You must be energized not to
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: do it. You make those decisions. Husband and wife, I
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: don't care what has happened before. You go back to
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: the drawing board. What is our decision? We are agreeing
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: together under God. In this house, I will no longer
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: bang the phone on your ears when you are talking.
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: Write it down. Sign. I will no longer leave my
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: matrimonial bed because I'm angry write it down sign I
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: will no longer reject your food no matter the anger
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: write it down sign I know it can be painful
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: to eat when you are angry but night will be
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: long if you don't eat now all the ego now
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: you say give me leave the food what do you
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: mean 1am you think it's 5am You are looking at
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: the ceiling and you are trying to sneak back to
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: the kitchen to eat the same food. God help you,
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: she has eaten it. The anger is multiplied the following day.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: Or you pick the food that she cooked though. You microwave,
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: you are sneaking. Why all this stress? And then she
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: walks behind you saying, uh-huh. I say, see, I'm just
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: warning you now. It's just because I'm not happy. I'm
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: not happy. Eat first.
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: Eat.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: Somebody has made you sad. Eat first. Then you sit here.
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. When you open a window
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: for the devil, it becomes a field. The devil will
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: never keep it at the size you are living it.
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: It will expand it.
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: Yes. I will never lay my hands to beat my wife.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: But once you are hungry, you get close, put you
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: in chairs to push each other. No. Very soon, that
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: hand will be raised up. One day, so you will
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: stand there and ask yourself, what have I done? And
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: what you don't know is that you have opened a floodgate.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: If there's any family here that there is domestic abuse,
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, we'll break
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: that nonsense. Say the amen loud enough. We break the nonsense. Now,
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: this is where I'm going really today. I've laid very
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: important foundation. How do you, hmm, let me put it
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: like this. How to love a spouse from a dysfunctional family?
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: Put it at the subtopic. How to love a spouse
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: from a dysfunctional family? So let me explain. You see,
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: there are words we use carelessly. Are you with me?
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: Words like, I love you. It's fantastic. It's fantastic. But
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: you can say it a billion times, but do you
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: know how to love this person? I put it to
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: you that the way to love a person from a
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: dysfunctional background is different different. So, I am marrying a
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: woman that her father was never present in her life.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: How can I love this one? Because there is a
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: way life has now designed this person to think. And
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: there are certain things if I start doing, I'll be
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: perceived wrongly. What may mean love, what may be love
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: to me may mean threats to her This is a
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: man whose father or mother was not present in his life.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: And as a woman, I'm marrying this man now. Certain
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: things that need to be formed are not formed. Who
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: is he? How is he now wired? What is the
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: significance of the absence of this person in his life?
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: How can I love this person at his level? These
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: are important questions. Because I tell you, you will meet
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: the biggest frustration if you think love is general. See,
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: when the family is attacked, people have become what they
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: really don't want to become, but what they have been
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: conditioned to become. So it means that there are battles
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: that humans should not fight, but now they have to
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: fight that battle by design. Nobody was designed to fight
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: this battle. Nobody was designed by design to fight the absence,
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: the battle that comes with the absence of either of
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: the parents or sometimes the both parents. How do you
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: love a girl that her story is that they actually,
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: when the mother gave birth to her, he dropped her
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: in a nylon bag and dropped her somewhere beside the road.
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: So they took her somewhere to an orphanage home and
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: different people started, is this fellow also captured in your
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: curriculum for I love you? Because I can tell you,
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: whoever that fellow is, the fellow is not wired the
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: same way like every other person. There are things that
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: this fellow's exposure to life has made this fellow to become.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: There are defenses that are built because this fellow's first
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: exposure to people is to predators. There are ways this
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: fellow now sees life. And when you are coming, there
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: are things you will say and do that this fellow
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: will not respond to you or react to you like
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: every other person, but react from the point of what
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: is missing. I came from a home that everything is balanced.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: How about marrying somebody who didn't come from there? What
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: you call the excellence of your own family system can
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: be a big threat to this person. He looks at
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: your family members, all of you are listening and talking,
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: and you wonder why he doesn't want to talk to
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: your parents. He's not used to talking to parent figure.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: He's not wicked. He's not wicked. He doesn't, are you
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: following what I'm saying? He's not used to talking. Any
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: figure that is missing in the spouse's life, understand that
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: when you have that person present, he's not used to
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: talking to that person, male or female. A girl whose
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: mother probably died early or was never present in her life,
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: now she's going to the house of a mother-in-law. There
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: are fears she will have. Mothers, how do they really react?
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: What can I do? Who will prepare her for where
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: she's going? These are questions. You see, the society must
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: learn not to put the fish and the rabbit in
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: the same field to know who is the fastest. You
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: must understand people are coming from different places and they
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: have their own niche. So in case you are here
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: in this meeting or you are listening to me and
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: you are saying, ah, this is what we need right now.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: How do I love a man whose mother was never
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: present in his life? You will feel well is good
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: because there's no competition. I can tell you, the love
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: as an emotion has not really been formed well. In fact,
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: it's not even that competition is absent now. It is
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: that this fellow, are you following what I'm saying here?
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: this fellow now has learned to live life by withdrawal.
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: If nobody's around that cares, this fellow has learned to
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: withdraw to himself or herself. So you are looking at
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: an individual you want to bring out of a shell.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you wonder, I say, my wife is so patient,
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: my husband is so patient. No. The fellow might be
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: coming from a place where when he or she complains,
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: nobody listens. So I'm alone with my thoughts. That is
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: worse than the fellow who shouts. Because the day there
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: will be massive explosion. You will not believe it. So
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: there are things that, this is the way God wants it.
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: But this is how it is. Let me tell you this.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: Everybody is perfect till you get close. proximity reveals flaws.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: So in case you say, ah, well, I don't have
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: energy for stress. Let me marry somebody else. Let me
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: tell you, as far as it is marriage, you'll fight
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: certain battles. Say, no, no, no. So let me just check.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: A girl, I can't marry a girl from a broken home.
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: There are things, you see, there are statements we say
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: that are really unfair. There are statements we say that
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: are what? Unfair. That if you want to marry a girl,
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: go and check her mother. Is she her mother? Yeah.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: Is she her mother? The girl might be fighting the
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: biggest battle not to be like her. If you want
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: to marry a boy, go and look at his father.
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: This might be the first fruit of salvation in that family.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: Who is fighting? I will not be like, why must
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: you judge someone based on the mistake of another? If
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: you want to marry somebody, go and take the home
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: the person is coming from. All good people from good homes...
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: If somebody comes from a home that is not fine,
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: does it mean the fellow is bad? Come on, stop that.
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: You relate with people as entities. You understand their uniqueness.
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: Understand their journey. Say, I hear you. Don't judge anyone
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: based on where they are coming from. Sometimes their biggest
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: battle is not to look like it. No.
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: No.
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: You see, before you marry a girl, take a relationship
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: with her father. Who told you that? There can be
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: a good girl who doesn't have good relationships with father.
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: There can be a good boy who doesn't have good
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: relationship with his father. May I tell you this? There
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: is a way the family becomes, gets to, because of
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: what the devil has been permitted to do, that the
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: only way children can truly rise into destiny here is
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: that there's not so much contact. Because not only is
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: this contact bringing contamination, it is also enforcing certain things.
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: Life is deep. There are grandparents you are afraid of
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: putting your children with. How do you explain that? Let
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: them just know what it feels like to have a
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: grandpa or grandma. And they have gone there and they
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: are hearing things they should not hear or seeing things
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: they should not see. Somebody there in the village already
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: trying to torture a three-year-old daughter and you want to
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: use them as collateral for being polite? That's not parenting.
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you this. When it comes to protecting
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: your home, be unapologetic about it. You'll be blackmailed and
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: called different names beyond apologetic. So when you are marrying,
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: understand that marriage is designed to mirror the relationship between
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: Jesus and the church. That is what it is designed
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: to mirror. So, So you don't, you are not looking
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: for where the grass is green. Look at what the
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: Bible says. Ephesians 5. Ephesians 5. Let's start the reading
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: from verse 25. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: also loved the church, and gave himself for it, that
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: the water by the word, So there is such a
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: thing as first cleaning up a person you want to
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: do life with. There is such a thing that you
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: have to clean. Do you understand what I'm saying? You see,
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: Let's be deep. Sometimes, you can see raw gold covered
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: in the earth. Can you see people beyond what they
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: look like? Can you see people beyond what they wear?
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: You like what is ready. Somebody prepared it. What will
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: you prepare? Can you see people... Can you see people
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: beyond their initial disposition to life? I mean, I've shared
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: this story not in a condescending way, but I mean,
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: the day I met my wife, she wore what I
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: preached against. I used to be very loud on many things.
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: There are things that once you wear, avoid me. You know,
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: in the days of ignorance. I overlooked it. So my
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: wife came to church for the first time. I've always
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: known her, but just praying together online, some of them
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: like that. And she was dying bandana. And she stood,
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: she sat down in front of me and we're talking.
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: And I was observing her. She never said, oh, I'm
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: so honored to be here. She never did. Just sat there,
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: looked at me. I said, look around. I said, this
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: feels like home. I said, correct. You are welcome home.
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: I went home that night troubled. Who is this girl?
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: Who is she? I saw beyond the bandana. Don't judge
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: people by first impression. If everybody is to be judged
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: by first impression, nobody stands a chance. Because you can
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: meet good people on a bad day. Nobody stands a chance.
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: Nobody stands a chance. Are you following what I'm saying here?
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: We must see love as commitment to get into your
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: battles with you. What battle are you fighting? What has
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: happened to you? There are things I want to say
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: but You know, this is our... Because if you say,
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: don't judge people based on their past. Some people will
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: just say, okay, Apostle, this is a kind of past.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: This is a kind of past. This is a kind
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: of past. Which one can you accept here? So understand
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying here, okay? I will not pretend I'm
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: not Jesus Christ. Because there are things too that... Let
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: me just say this as a balance. Yes. You too
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: that they are accepting. Make it easy for the person
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: accepting you. Make it easy. Make it easy. So nobody
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: will have to be blackmailed and say, are you not
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: born again? Accept it. The guy is saying, are you me?
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: And let me tell you this to balance it. If
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: you hear a person's story and you know sincerely I
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: can't take it, beg them. I apologize. I've led to
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: the point where you have to confide in me this
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: much But I must confess I'm not as solid enough
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: to handle this case. Let me bow out now. Listen
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: to what I'm saying. They may call you names for living.
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: It is better than for you to be married to
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: that person and afflicting the person with that information. Accept that, oh,
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: this hospital is not sophisticated to take this kind of case.
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: I am sorry. I.
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: I have tried to get this thing off my mind,
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: but based on the way God, where God has reached
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: in my life now, I really can't, I'm sorry. Cry
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: with the person. When they say, no, you know what
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: it is now? You want to leave me? I'm sorry.
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. What I'm saying is that your own self
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: be true. Know what your mind can take. You are
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: a lady. A guy has come now and is saying,
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: you see, before I used to have male to male relationship.
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: What did you say? Which one are you? The male
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: one or the... Let's know where we are. See, know
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: what you can handle. True? True? Don't let anybody push
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: you and say, no, no, no, no, I accept you. Hey, God.
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: Is this what I will deal with? To your own
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: self be what? There are men who can marry a
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: woman who has children and they will never think about it.
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: Love the children as their own. If you notice that
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: you are not like that, don't force yourself. That you
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: now start maltreating the children. There are women who love
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: a man regardless of the number of chances, who love
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: you and take care of the children. If you know
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: you are not like that, don't go ahead only to
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: want to love the man and hate the children. If
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: you love a person, love them with their baggages. Is
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: that okay now? You see that I cannot really love
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: this person. Leave the person alone for the person that
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: will love the person in totality. Don't love a person
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: into frustration. Don't love a person into pain. You love
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: her but you want her to get rid of her son.
• 57:59
  Speaker 4: No.
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: No. Can you take it? These are the things I've
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: done in the past. Can you handle it? Say, I can.
• 58:09
  Speaker 2: True Christ will strengthen me. Never bring it up against her.
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: No matter the argument. Never bring it up against him.
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: No matter the argument. Say, I hear. It will help you. See,
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: let me tell you this. Live a very balanced life.
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: Don't let anybody push you into what you can't take.
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: The church are not those to marry for you. Maybe
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: the pastor will say, brother, this is nice. I've told
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: you that wedding day looks like burial day. There are
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: certain similarities they share. Everybody will leave. Both of you alone.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: The only difference is that you are two. No matter
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: what you cook at the engagement, forget it. They will
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: still be eating. You are on your own.
• 58:53
  Speaker 4: Ask questions.
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: Ask questions. And if something has happened, you have a child,
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: don't call the child your cousin. No.
• 59:09
  Speaker 4: No.
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: Don't try to hide the child. The child is calling
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: you brother or auntie. So that the devil will not
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: flip it one day against you. And here your spouse
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: is thinking, if this fellow can hide this from me,
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: what can this fellow hide? Anybody who will accept you
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: will accept you with your troubles. Is that okay now?
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: Very important. So love is commitment. The grass is greener.
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: You water your own ground for it to be green.
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: Is that here? Now let me give you a few
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: instances that will help you. A few instances that will
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: help you. A few instances that will help. So, how
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: do you successfully love a spouse that the both parents
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: are missing in each other's life? Not necessarily an orphan.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: Maybe the both of them decided to go and start
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: their lives independently. Are you following what I'm saying now?
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: Let me give you an instance. Can I have two males, please?
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: Don't worry. We are not couples. Come. You are safe.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: Come here. Two males. So here is a man. Toby,
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: please come. And then married to a woman. And they
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: gave birth to a son. Something happened. Maybe they were
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: not even married. Maybe just something happened. And both of
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: them seized this child. As the reward of their mistake.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: More like they keep seeing the child as a sin.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: This is a person. And then the woman decides to
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: go separate ways and marry another man. Please can I
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 2: have somebody? And the man also decides to go separate
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: ways and marry another woman.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: Come.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: Both have built their family. Who does this child belong to?
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: There is a way an individual like this would be
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: wired to think. Can I have a lady? Please come.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: Woman of God. Either male or female. Thank you. So
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 2: you have either a male or female or sometimes siblings.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: And both of them grew up looking at mommy and
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: daddy with his own family. Mommy with her own family.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: Once in a while goes either of the places to
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: spend holiday. No privilege to experience family structure so you
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: wonder why a male like this will grow up pick
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: a gun and point at another person and shoot the
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: person anyone who has not experienced love can't give it
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: the root of those things is the family it's the
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: family And sometimes the complication in their lives is still
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 2: so much that the children are better off alone. I
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: want to say a statement that can cause trouble and
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: I'll say it. Before you decide to divorce, accept that
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: there is a consequence. It may be necessary that you
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: go separate ways. But understand this, weep for the other person.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: Usually what happens is that the one who takes custody
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: of the child will nurture the child in the way
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: that the child grows with bitterness towards the person who
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: is not there. And sometimes things have already gone so
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: bad that separation is necessary. But there are consequences. There
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: are consequences. So how do you, when you find a
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: man like this, who have learned to live life in isolation,
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: a woman like this, who has learned to live life
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: in isolation, alone with her thoughts. I've tried to trust
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: a few times. No, it didn't work. Family members, no,
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 2: it didn't work. Try to ask for something, no, it
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: didn't work. And people see people who are exposed and alone,
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: and they take advantage of them. what is the mental
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: construct of a person like this? You think you can
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: just come from nowhere and try to play father in
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: her life? Somebody that she doesn't know what it feels
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: like to have one? There are differences. They can't accept
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: love because it's not the kind of experience I've had.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: I'm not used to it. You show love, the person
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: is suspecting and saying, what are you doing? What are
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 2: you doing? You communicate his name, what did you say?
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: You know why? Because he has learned to lift his
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: shield up all the time. He has learned to lift
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: his shield up all the time. So how is this
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: fellow now wired? What can we learn? The only hope
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: there is to our life is Jesus. Judging by what
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: the devil has done in families, nobody stands a chance.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: Please clap for them and be seated for a while.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 2: Where did you grow up? What kind of environment do
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 2: you know? Do you know what trouble looks like? Have
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 2: you smelt it before? Do you know what it means
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 2: to grow up in the ghetto where you are hearing
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 2: different kind of string songs and string sounds with all
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 2: the and everybody is trying to get their own piece
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: of you. Those in the streets and everybody everywhere, they
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: know your story and they tell it among themselves that
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: your mother is a prostitute or that your father is
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 2: a smoker. Maybe he was even in diarrhea before he died.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 2: Maybe somebody used him for a ritual. Imagine growing up.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 2: Don't be used to your own world. Come down from
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: your mountains. Life is deeper than what you know. You
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 2: see somebody like that coming from such a dark place
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: will come to school and join the rest and look
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 2: like one of them. Every time there is a break,
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 2: this fellow doesn't want to go back home. He knows
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 2: that the only place that he is staying is around campus.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 2: Even when money is not coming. Try to do some
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 2: odd jobs. And sometimes has no choice than to stay
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 2: with some people. They say you are excusing sin. Do
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 2: you have an idea of the life and the choice
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 2: some people have been left with? If I call 10
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: musicians now. Some 10 deep ones. I won't call their names.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 2: You may not even know them. You grew up here
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 2: in Topalabi. And hearing IEFLA and all the likes. And
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: you think that's all there is to life. You are
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: hearing Bola and hearing, give me all those names. Michael Jackson.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 2: And you think that's all there is to life. Stop that.
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 2: Life is more. There is more to life than that.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: People are coming from dark regions. It is in the
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: city everybody is trying to package. When the church closes,
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 2: people know where they are returning to. And sometimes they
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 2: wish the world can understand. There are people who prefer
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: to be among hostile people than to be in their
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 2: own families. Because no matter your hostility, you are still better.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: And every time. So now you have married this person.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 2: How is this person to be loved? First you have
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 2: to understand the new construct this fellow will have that
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 2: is different from the order of things when it is original,
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: or the way God created it. Male or female now?
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: Male or female? You see, I don't just live life,
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 2: I listen. I listen to people. I hear stories. Sometimes
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: when you think your own is bad, wait till you
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 2: hear a story. Anybody can stand here and brag on
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 2: the altar as if the blood of Jesus didn't save you.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: What about if you are coming from a place where
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 2: because of the neighborhood you are to grow up as
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 2: a man now, you have been sleeping with prostitutes since
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 2: you were maybe 12 because of the dysfunctional nature of
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: that environment. When you come out of that place, do
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: you think you will talk about victory over sexual sin
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: like you fell from heaven? You will say it with
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 2: humility because you know what it is for the grace
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: of God to save you. People didn't fall from the sky.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 2: Are you following what I'm saying here? You will speak
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 2: with grace. You know what mercy is. You know what
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 2: help is. You know what the grace of God is
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 2: to rescue a man or to rescue a woman. As
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: I'm speaking, several images are flashing. through my eyes. The
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 2: church world, we are always too secluded in our own form.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 2: We don't know all there is. We have to get
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 2: out of our high mountains, roll our sleeves, roll our trousers.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: There is dirty work out there to be done. Are
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 2: you following what I'm saying here? So what happens when
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: I have to be married to somebody who didn't have
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: love around, either father or mother, or either of them
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: or both? Number one, one of the characteristics of the
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: person is independence. Independence. Because this fellow has learned to
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: do life, not relying on anybody. Let me just do
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: my thing. Let me find my way. Let me try.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 2: Learn not to trust. Because since from young, there's no
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 2: one to trust in the first place. And there are
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 2: forms of independence that is quite dark. Dark in the
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: sense that this is no longer strength. It has now
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: become a weakness. Independence coming from the root of the
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: fact that I don't know who to trust. I know
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: we are married, but I'm learning to trust you. I
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 2: know we are married. I'm learning to trust men. I'm
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 2: learning to trust women. All those I have trusted in
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 2: the past ought me. This fellow has learned to get
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: things done by himself or herself alone. So you see independence.
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: When you begin to see these signs, don't cry. You
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 2: have to break through that cloud. Number two, you will
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 2: also observe intimidating strength. I will tell you what that means.
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 2: There's a level of strength that is not really strength. Hmm.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 2: Let me give you an instance. When you see a
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 2: person with a wound, when the wound gets healed, it
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 2: is covered with flesh. The area can be scarred. But
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 2: it is also possible for the surface to be dry.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 2: It is now hard, but not healed. There are times
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: that people are not healed, but they are hard. It's
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 2: been a while. Something has covered it. But if you
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: touch it, a pulse will come out. So it looks
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 2: like strength. I don't cry. I don't feel pain. Say
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 2: whatever you want to say. He must be looking at you.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 2: After all, you are just one of them. But the
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: friend has only relegated you as one of the oppressors.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: It may take a while to come out of that hole.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 2: Maybe I should leave this one. Are you following what
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 2: I'm saying? Be careful when a spouse is quiet. And
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: the fellow has concluded, you are one of those, you
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 2: are just like the rest. What do you mean? Just
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 2: like the rest. Say what? You are just like the rest.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 2: And you think the fellow is quiet, you think he's patient. No.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 2: You have been weighed and your place is known. This
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 2: is why somebody will say, I begged, I'm sorry. This
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 2: fellow has seen life in the most brutal ways. And
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 2: now they have concluded that you are just like every
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 2: other person. Regardless of the suit you wear. What do
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 2: you do? It will take time to prove That you
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 2: are different. No, those who know, know what I'm teaching.
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 2: So there are times that we can look at you,
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 2: we no longer see the sign of the wound. But
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 2: that doesn't still mean you are healed. The kind of
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 2: strength that comes from the conclusion, I can do life
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 2: without you. That's not ordinary. That's not ordinary. The kind
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 2: of strength that makes a person come to the point
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 2: where he or she doesn't mind doing life alone. I mean,
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: we're created to connect. To share relationship. To be able
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 2: to interrelate. What has happened to you to the point
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 2: where you don't mind doing life alone? As a man,
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 2: you can live the next two decades without your wife
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 2: and you will not miss her. As a woman, you
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 2: can live the rest of your life without your husband
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 2: and you will not miss him. That is not strength.
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 2: It is possible to love a person but you have
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 2: never really entered the door. You are still at the gate.
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 2: Because they have never really opened that gate for a
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 2: long while. And when you hear them respond, every response
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 2: is making you know you have not entered. What did
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 2: I do in the first moment of our meeting that
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 2: remind you of those who caused you pain? That made
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: you decide I will not open this door for anyone again?
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 2: You know you can be married and yet you have
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 2: decided before you marry that I will not open the
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 2: door for anyone again. Yes.
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: What happened to your mind? At what point did you
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 2: get to that point where you look so strong, you
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 2: don't mind? Even if people die, you may cry, but
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 2: you don't really miss them. Because already you feel alone
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 2: in this world. So they are around, but not really around.
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 2: All your friends are complaining, why is it that we
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 2: don't talk for three months, you don't even miss us?
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 2: This fellow has not learned what it means to miss
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 2: anyone because no one was really present. I don't know
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 2: how to miss people. That's a weakness. It may look
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 2: like strength but it is not strength. I don't miss people.
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 2: Why do you call your friends people? Why do you
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: call your spouse people? Why do you call your spouse people?
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 2: When did you stop feeling? What changed? Why are you numb?
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 2: I just thought to be less active drama. Please. Faint.
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 2: Oh no. Okay. Godwin, please come. Now just imagine this
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 2: in your mind. Now this is, please stand here. This
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 2: is a body. A body now, no life. And this
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 2: is a person standing beside a body. He will shout
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 2: from now till tomorrow. This individual can't hear because the
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 2: distance between them is the distance between the heaven and
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 2: the earth. Proximity is not closeness. It is not. You
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 2: can be in the same room with a person but
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 2: you are light years apart. this fellow is not here.
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 2: And it takes healing and accepting you for the person
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 2: to be here. And nothing can be more painful than
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 2: to find out that the fellow you have loved is
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 2: not here. This is life. So sometimes what is happening is,
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 2: somebody is saying, why are you doing this? But the
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 2: person is not here. Why are you talking like that?
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 2: But the person is not here. Why are you reacting?
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 2: But the person is not here. Unfortunately, you can be
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 2: married to yourself for 20 years. Unfortunately. That's why I'm saying,
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 2: don't be shallow. Understand the mental construct of this person.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 2: Why are you numb? Can we try to revive this person?
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 2: Don't be this. Revive yourself. You can love again. Don't
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 2: be numb towards life. Sometimes the way you react to
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 2: us on social media is not for us, but for
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 2: what you have heard or what we remind you of.
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 2: We are not your pain. We are not your problem.
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 2: When we speak, we speak from a neutral perspective. Don't
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 2: use an hammer to kill an ant. Don't. Do you
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 2: know what insecurity is? Do you know what insecurity is?
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you what it is. Let me give you
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 2: a vivid example of what insecurity is. Imagine a snake
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 2: on the ground. Maybe you didn't know a snake was there. Mistakenly,
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 2: you march the snake at the tail. What will the
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 2: snake do? The snake will raise the head and do what?
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 2: Strike you back. Where you have marched the snake can't
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 2: kill the snake. But the venom of the snake can
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 2: kill you. When you are insecure, you respond in a
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 2: big way to small things. Because you don't know what
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 2: they can do next. That's insecurity. Insecurity. You are not
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 2: sure of how far they will go. Somebody has said
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 2: something small, you strike. That's insecurity. It can die today.
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 2: I didn't hear amen to that. It can die today.
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 2: Let's give them a big hand. Decide. From today, I
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 2: will let people into my heart. I will love genuinely.
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 2: I will. I will. I will forgive the past and
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 2: move into the future. What was missing in my life,
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 2: my children can have it. I can have it back.
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 2: I can. Is that okay now? Sometimes a person can
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 2: become cold. Maybe married before then. The man died or
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 2: the woman died. Then you can't find anyone that can
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 2: match that place. Anyone who is gone is gone. Forgive
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 2: the past. So you don't lose the future. Is that
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 2: okay now? I know you have cried, you have mourned.
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 2: Who can play the role of this? As far as
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 2: God is still on the throne, his best is never
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 2: in the past. What did I say? The best of
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 2: God is never in the past. It doesn't matter how
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 2: interesting the past is. The best of God is never
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 2: in the past.
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 4: Heal.
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 2: Heal.
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 4: Heal.
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 2: Sometimes one of the signs or symptoms you will find
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 2: in a spouse who came from a bad and dysfunctional
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 2: family system, either missing father or mother, is coldness towards
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 2: the other person. Coldness. Coldness towards you. Not responding the
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 2: way he or she should. Another characteristic you will find
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 2: is coldness towards your parents. What you have that I
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 2: don't have, I don't know what it means to have it.
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it means to have the kind
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 2: of parents you have. I don't know what it means
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 2: to be loved the way you are loved. I don't
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 2: know what it means for family to gather together and
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 2: have celebrate Christmas and there's no fight. Nobody's flicking my
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 2: person's bag and say, I'm no longer coming to this
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 2: house again. What? Let me say this to you. Anything
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 2: that is missing in your life that God has blessed
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 2: your spouse with, consider it as yours also. If you
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 2: don't know what it means to have a father in
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 2: your life and God has blessed your spouse with one,
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 2: adopt that father as your father. Learn to trust him.
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 2: Don't become skeptical when your wife's mother is coming to
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 2: the house or your husband's mother because you don't know.
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 2: All these mothers. In your heart, for the sake of peace,
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 2: may God give you good in-laws. Because there's a balance
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 2: of that. It is worse when somebody didn't have. And
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 2: now here is a mother who doesn't believe she's a mother.
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 2: Or a father who doesn't believe he's a father. Go
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 2: and look for your own parents. But if you are
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 2: a man and you don't have relationship with your father
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 2: and God has blessed you with a fantastic father-in-law, take
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 2: him as your father. You're a woman, you don't have
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 2: God has blessed you with a fantastic father-in-law, take him
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 2: as your father. Love him the way you love your own.
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 2: Don't suspect them. Are you with me now? Don't what?
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 2: Don't suspect them. Give them the benefit of doubt. Give
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 2: people the opportunity to show you how much they care.
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 2: Write it in capital letter. Give people the opportunity to
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 2: show you how much they care. Don't complain that they
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 2: don't care when you actually shut the door against them.
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 2: Allow yourself to be loved. You must understand that. You
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 2: may want love, but you have actually shut the door
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 2: against it. Your reactions... your perceptions, the way you see life,
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 2: the way you react, the way you respond has shut
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 2: the door against it. Create a room for what you want.
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 2: Create a venue to receive it. Are you following what
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 2: I'm saying here? I really want to, you know, pick it,
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 2: the difference in males, the difference in females. But this
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 2: is a difficult generation to teach like that. It is
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 2: a difficult... See, people have bitterness. They just hear when
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 2: you are talking, women, this, this, this. They say, why
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 2: are you talking to women? Why don't you talk to men?
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 2: Go and hear the entire message. It is a generation
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 2: you have to prepare specially for. Short-term memory loss is
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 2: one of the symptoms of this generation. Very short. Short too.
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 2: They can't comprehend for long. Because there are differences you
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 2: will find when you look closely. From today, you must
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 2: tell yourself, maybe my complaint is not my complaint. Maybe
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 2: people are like that because that is the way I
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 2: have received them. Maybe I've never really given people space
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 2: to love me. Are you aware there are people you
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 2: can't even shake? Can you thank you? Say, hug your neighbor. Now,
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 2: not male and female. Now, female to female. Say, I
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 2: beg you. What happened to you? What went wrong? and
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 2: you are aware these things are not dealt with, you
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 2: can get married and you see your spouse touching you
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 2: as torture. Lift your hands. Say, Father, I submit myself
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 2: for healing. Can I give you a minute to pray
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 2: that prayer? I submit myself for healing. Heal me completely.
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 2: Submit yourself. I submit myself. Heal me. Help me heal.
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 2: Heal me completely. Rescue me from this pain that has
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 2: refused to go away. Help me. I want to love
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 2: the way I'm supposed to love. I want to accept
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 2: love the way I'm supposed to accept love. I want
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 2: to be able to receive love the way I've been
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 2: designed to receive love. I want to be able to
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 2: communicate love the way I've been designed to communicate love.
• 1:27:08
  Speaker 2: Heal me completely. Heal me. Oh, yes. Help me, Lord.
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 2: Heal me completely. Help me to love. Help me to
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 2: let go of the past. Help me. Though we are few,
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 2: we're surrounded by many who have walked this river before.
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 2: This is the song I will be singing forever.
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 4: All is the Lord. All is, all is the Lord.
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 2: One more time, all is the Lord. Holy is the Lord. Holy,
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 2: holy is the Lord.
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 3: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 2: Our Father, hear us from heaven, forgive us our sins.
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 4: Though we are few, though we are few, we're.
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 2: Surrounded by many who have crossed the river before us.
• 1:29:23
  Speaker 2: And this is the song. We'll be singing forever. Holy
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 2: is the Lord. Holy is the Lord. Thank you, Father. Father,
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 2: I ask that the wave of healing will spread across
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 2: everywhere that my voice is being heard tonight. You will
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 2: heal your children completely. You will help them. You will
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 2: restore homes that the devil is trying to get over.
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 2: You will heal impossible wounds in the name of Jesus.
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 2: You will restore homes that are considered impossible to be restored.
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 2: And you will take the glory to yourself alone. In
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 2: Jesus' mighty name. Amen. Let's give Jesus a big hand.
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 2: Have you been blessed this evening? Why not celebrate Jesus again?
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Lord.
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 1: The message you just listened to is sponsored by the
• 1:30:52
  Speaker 1: friends and partners of Femi Lazarus Apostolic Ministries Ecumenical, FLAME.
• 1:30:58
  Speaker 1: To partner with FLAME, kindly make use of these account details.
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 2: 221-500-5289 UBA