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Lessons - Overcoming Self-Doubt | Jim Jordan - Celebrity Photographer · Success Story with Scott Clary

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  But how do you deal with that self-doubt?
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  How do you push yourself to make the decision, is it because you had the right people in
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  your life, the right mentors, or was it intrinsically coming from inside internal that even though
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  you were saying you couldn't do it, you still took that step forward.
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  How did you sort of keep going?
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  Well, like being in fear that kept me in fear for so many years, being something that I really
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  wasn't happy doing when I had a drain, like I knew there was no way more to me. And I feel like
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  it was a lot of things. I feel like a lot of the people that kind of pulled me out of my box
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  were like angels, like sent from God, you know, way to look back at it now. And I believe I was a
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  lot of work that I do that I did and that I'm constantly doing to keep myself present and to
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  be able to recognize those voices that are coming in all the time, to recognize who's voices is,
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  and to realize and now recognize the truth, and the truth of who I am and why I'm here,
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  and then I can do all things that are trying to keep me or make me afraid.
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  I realize those voices are, it's like an arrow of which way I need to go. So some say,
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  you can't, I'm going and running toward that. And I journal every day, I started doing a book
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  called The Artist's Way, and it's a 12-week workbook that changed my life back then when I started
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  became a photographer, I embarked on this 12-week journey called The Artist's Way,
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  and I recommend it for every creative, people that have lost their creative gifts until
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  what they are or how to recover them or discover them. I recommend this workbook for everybody I know
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  to change my life. And part of doing that work the third week, the first third week, I did that
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  work, I became a fashion photographer. And part of the exercise you do every day is you journal,
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  three pages, full pages every morning. And I started journaling these things that came out of
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  me on my journal that I didn't know when I would reread it, I would say to myself, who is that
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  writing? Like it was such a disconnect of how I thought, but then when I wrote something on
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  a journal like my heart, and I would read this stuff and fall my eyes out, like who is that?
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  And I started to journal every day, and the third week of me journaling, I met Emily,
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  gave me that job, and the second week I met Renee and got that job, the third week I was shooting
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  for both, and I just kept journaling and journaling and journaling. So people that say they meditate
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  every day, they don't stop meditating. I believe that my journaling changed my life, and every day I
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  was in fear and right about my feet, and I keep writing about it and every day I got sick of
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  writing about how scary I am, why does I just have to do it, and then I want to have to write about it.
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  So I did a lot of things to kind of push me out of it. And then I would start saying, you know what,
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  it's more afraid that I won't do it in my life than doing it. What's more painful, not doing it,
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  and watching it pass you by or trying it and seeing what being afraid there too. And I always
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  realized by me just doing it and sick of writing about it, I'm just afraid of writing all the excuses
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  that I made for myself writing to. So I'm a big advocate about running toward fear and running
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  through the fire because your miracle and your miracles are there on the outside waiting for you.
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  That's powerful. And that's how I've lived my life and I try to share that with everybody I know.
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  Now, sorry, go ahead, no, no, go ahead. I just, I feel like I'm still evolving and I want to
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  help people, you know, when I, when I became a photographer, it was kind of all about how much,
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  how high to climb this ladder. And I started getting these things that were miracles to me. And
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  there's an opportunity in the people that I've been able to be around, the influence that I have had.
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  And I had a lot of, you know, life changing experience in my life, like really life changing. And I
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  started shooting and I've been shooting probably like for 10 years. And I was getting everything I
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  ever wanted in my life. And I had a ton of access to finances and houses and money and celebrities and
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  the who's who and being in the end crowd. And I just started realizing, you know, like all this stuff
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  is like empty. And everything I desired in my life, like I would attain it, like the world would say,
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  oh, that's so cool. You have the coolest job. But somehow I always felt like really sad and empty inside,
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  no matter how much I thought, how many big jobs and big movie stars I'd get to shoot. It was cool,
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  and I felt great, I was thankful, but that happiness never lasts. So I started having like these,
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  you know, questions. And I had like, I don't know how to say it, but I had like a breakthrough,
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  like like a like a breakthrough or a breakdown or a coming to you with the end of myself. Yeah,
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  and Piphany, Piphany, Piphany, that this wasn't all about me anymore. And I ended up in the hospital.
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  And I was like on my deck that they didn't know what was wrong with me. And they said,
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  your kidneys were failing. And they basically gave me four hours to live. And they called in the,
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  you know, the the pastor to get me my last rights and my whole family was there. And I was laying
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  on my deathbed, not even able to move. And I had a supernatural miracle happen in the hospital.
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  And I was miracly healed. And I sat up with this like miracle that happened. And it's a whole
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  long story. And my life changed. And I came out of the hospital completely healed two days later.
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  And I made a big, I had a big life changing a mom in my life. And I said, this isn't about me.
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  It's not how rich it's not how famous. It's not how many celebrities I could shoot. It's not
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  how the trips and jobs and all these things that bring me temporary happiness. Like my job now
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  is to help other people. My job now was to to give the gifts and the talents and the experiences
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  of the past to give it to other people and a whole other people's hands. And she should help them
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  navigate the jungle. And I was like, have this, you know, I started having dreams at night and
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  sounds crazy. And I was having dreams at night, like literally, and I was being spoken to and I
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  was being told to do things. And I had wake up out of these dreams and I grabbed my journal and
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  I'd start writing these things in this journey. And one of the dreams I was having it was at night.
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  It was, it was me being shown that I was out on a battlefield. And there were nurses running
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  into the fire to help hurting people that dying soldiers. And then we're lifting them up,
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  carrying them out of harm's way. And I heard these specific directions that I was going to have
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  a company and it was going to be called White Cross. It was going to be based on the light helping
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  hurting people. And then it was going to be a production company. And I was going to have a
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  production where I was to help young kids. And I was that I was being told that I was perfectly
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  placed exactly where I was meant to be. And that my mission field wasn't in Haiti or Africa or
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  all these other places that might get the hurting in the sick and the thaw. And we're right here in
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  the entertainment business right where I was positioned. And so I started paying attention to it
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  and listen, like, well, maybe there's something for you here. So I went out and I went back to my
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  roots on finding models. Because along my journey, I would find a model along my journey and just
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  say, Hey, let me take some pictures. Go meet this agency. Bye. Good luck. And I turn them loose.
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  And I'd run into these models like three, four years later. And they were like, I'm not modeling
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  it. I'm like, who are you with in Paris? Who are you with in London? Did you do bachelor?
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  They're like, no, we just stayed in LA and no one ever copied agents all along. And I'm like,
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  dear, you should have had a start. And so I went out and I started finding models again.
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  And I still put my company white cross productions. I got incorporated. I got an LLC,
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  got a trademark of the name and that white cross management talent management company.
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  And I got this company did the logos and opened the website. And I went to started
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  had some models that I discovered that I was like, I'm not going to just give them away.
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  I want to hold their hands and I want to carry them. And I'm going to not give them to these
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  agents that are going to just do whatever they want. I'm going to hold them and be a foundation
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  for them. And they're going to have to top of me and get through me because I knew a lot
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  about the business instead of just put these young kids around. So I opened the company. I started
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  filling my roster for talent. I was in Rambi, Colorado and a barn shooting a job for me.
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  And I locked up in this 14-year-old girl and I said, hi, what's your name? She's looking at me like,
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  hi, I'm not a bitch. Her name is Taylor Hill. And I go, hey, Taylor is your mom here.
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  Yeah, she's out there. I went out and I talked to my mother. She was a year daughter.
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  Daughter is a star. Who are you? I'm like, I'm just enjoying the fashion with her wherever I have a
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  talent management company. And I managed to have a young talent. Long story short, I started
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  finding girls and discovering and basically hand holding these kids and taking pictures of them
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  and grooming them and placing them with agents all over the world. And this girl, Taylor Hill is
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  now the biggest model in the world. And I started her when she was 14 years old. Her and her mom
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  lived with me in my house here. And I started grooming, putting agents all around the world.
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  I have this formula where I would do that with every model I found.
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  And that's how White Cross came about. And my management company and started finding talent.
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  I discovered Gigi Hadid. And I had worked with her mom, Mielanda, for many years,
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  which she was modeling. And I placed Gigi with agents all over the world. I helped Mielanda.
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  They called her meetings in New York. And I found the Hot Fallen Jeremy Meeks, the prisoner,
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  who has moved shot when viral. And I went and took him out of jail, moved him into my house,
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  and rehabilitated them, moved them and placed agents all over the world and did kind of those
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  type of things. So my company as a fashion driver, I mean, how am I going to all kind of go
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  inside of each other? And so I spent my life, you know, everything I'm doing now is to help people
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  and really keep an eye on people that I'm finding new talent every day. And I'm keeping my photography
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  and I'm learning still and making mistakes. And just trying to keep my mind open and keep
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  opportunities that keep coming, you know. How, how was, how, what were some of the struggles that
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  you found when you transitioned to this new stage in your life where you built out a business
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  started really aiding in the careers of all these young individuals that obviously didn't have
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  the proper representation? Were there any things that you that you had to because you spoke about
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  all the struggles that you had sort of going through your photography able from from hair and
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  makeup to photography and sort of that career path? But what about the more recent things that you
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  that you've understood or that you've had to learn? One of the biggest lessons that I had to learn
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  is, you know, becoming a businessman and learning, you know, when I first started, all I was was
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  creative. I didn't care about the money and I didn't care about the the database and keeping
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  business cards and phone numbers or I didn't even know what I was getting paid if I was getting paid
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  or not getting paid. I was the biggest reckless. I was just out shooting big jobs. I didn't know
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  and I found that years later that my agent had been stealing from me and taking a lot of money
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  from just kind of woke up to and I realized at that time when I confronted them that they were
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  producing all my jobs and I realized my agent makes me work on a day that I'm even making as the
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  photographer of their sweating doing it all. And so I started realizing how much money they
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  were really making. They weren't just my photo wrap. They were producing all my jobs. They were
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  hiring the motorhomes and the caterers and the studios and prop stylists and all of these saying
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  and they would hire a makeup artist. The budget would be $1,900 for the makeup and hair
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  and she would only give the hair makeup $500. So she's making $1,000 in her pocket off of my job
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  and that went down with the motorhome looking for give the motorhome driver $500 and she'd make
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  $1,000 a day on one. So she'd make $500. So every day I'd go to work. I started realizing
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  she was making my $20,000 a day and I'd go to work and be making half of it. And then not to mention
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  she wasn't paying me stealing from me. So I had a life take this big bold to stand even though I never
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  was a business guy and I confronted her and I said, look, you're party's over. If you want to work
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  with me, I'm going to produce all my own jobs and I'm going to do my own building and I'll give you
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  my $20% and at that time, clients started calling me and they're like, hey, we call your agency and
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  your agency now is telling us you're not available that you're booked. There's one of my big clients
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  for Brooks Brothers and so I'm like, when did you want to book me and I find out that I was available?
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  So she wasn't giving me those jobs because she'd give it to another photographer where she could
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  produce those jobs. So I started learning business like, well, this is not.
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  And how unfortunately, how shitty some people are, which is not, yeah.
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  And so I ended up really stepping in and opening my company for my production and I had a
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  business manager that's consulting, holding my hand because I was opening another business
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  of cosmetic companies. And she started saying to me and I said, I let my agent. She said,
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  why did you do that? That was stupid. This is what's funding your cosmetic company.
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  And I'm like, I don't care. I'd rather have nothing than be stolen for a library, please.
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  She was, well, why didn't you take the money and open your company and start hiring two new
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  assistants and teaching how to be agents? So I hired two full-time administrative assistants.
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  I taught them how to use my database. I taught them I gave them the client list and I said to each one
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  of that, I want you to make 50 introduction calls every single day on the phone.
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  Here are the art directors, here's our phone numbers, here's our address. So each one at a
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  task, every day to call 50, leave a message or send a mail in from a promotional piece with a
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  stamp and a logo every day they put them in the mail. Within three months, I was booked every day.
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  And they were producing their own jobs. I taught them all how to be producers. So they booked a
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  client and they hired the model with the location permits. And I started thinking to myself,
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  this is insane. How much more money I was making as a production company? I had control over my
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  whole shoot now. Everybody on set was like something that I saw. It wasn't because she was ripping
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  everyone off and everyone was unhappy. Even the client, when I get the work, they are already
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  pissing me. I didn't even know them. So I started getting a grip of life really had to have a
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  vision not just for what I saw, but the experience I was having on set. And then my production
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  company became a full swing. It was really a real production company at that time. And so to answer
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  your question, like the challenge was like how to really step in and own but becoming a businessman
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  and taking my creative hat off and putting it aside and really step in and take the responsibility
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  for a big businessman.