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DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 1_ EPISODE #79_HOST BLAQUE DIAMOND_(SHOW #11)) · DA CREW Podcast

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Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to the Crew podcast Network for episode number
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seventy nine. Can you believe We're already there? Number seventy nine about very
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first season. I'm Black Diamond, the host of Basic Black After Dog.
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Here we have relaxed conversations about family changes, cultural customs, and parenting.
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Now there are times when I'll discuss sensitive topics, and occasionally I'll have some
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guests and friends dropping by. We ask you a question. When you hear
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the words domestic violence, what comes to mind? Is it man violating women?
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Domestic violence is more than that. Domestic violence is violence committed by someone
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in the victim's domestic circle. This includes partners and ex partners, immediate family
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members, other relatives, and family friends. The term domestic violence is used
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when there is a close relationship between the offender and the victim. Examples include
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intimidation, coercion, ridiculing, harassment, treating an adult like a child,
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isolating an adult from family, friends or regular activity, the use of control
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behavior, and yelling or swearing which results in mental distress. Tonight's guest is
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no stranger to this act. She is a victim of intimate partner violence.
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She's turned. I invite you to understand, not judge. Her life is
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her business, little with her joy to celebrate, her hardships to endure,
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and a decision to make a difference. I ask the dude to listen to
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my guests story. Please welcome page parts great, what about you? I'm
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good. Thank you so much for being a part of it. This topic,
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um, it's been a long time coming and it's something that needs to
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be said and people need to hear me. So I'm so grateful that you're
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able to share your story with us. To me, yes, ma'am,
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I'm grateful to be you know, I'm grateful that the Lord even gave me.
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You know, at the time, I was why me? Why me?
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But I see why me? Why not me? You know? Much
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as given because much is required, and I understand that now. And my
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journey wasn't just for me. It was for those that I had to help.
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That the Lord sum me out on assignment to help. And who was
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better to tell somebody who how to get out of something then somebody that lived
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and been through it, came through it and and and it's still here.
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Well that many many have accused you of murdering your partner, and some of
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you, even go has gone so far as to call you the Mother's Day
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murderers. Are basically after talk, you are welcome to put this to bed
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as you experienced it right here and right now. I don't expect you to
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go into too much detail, and at any point if you're uncomfortable, feel
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free to stop, because this is not my intention. As a matter of
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fact, I think I'm just going to ask you two questions on that topic
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because I don't want to go into something that's going to bring back a memory
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that you don't want to remember. But my question is to you, did
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you do it? Did you murder your acts? No, I didn't murder
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him. We're happened that evening, I basically tell people because I have a
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non important series on my YouTube Gena, and I'm not at that part about
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what happened that night, so I haven't even exposed it to my YouTube subscribers.
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But we will get into that part. But what happened at night is
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simply, it was a fight that went wrong and I was trying to defend
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myself and it resulted in me taking his life by trying to protect myself.
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And so because it happened the night of Mother's Day. Everybody called me the
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Mother's Day Killer right right any other day they probably wouldn't even at that.
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And that's just such a harsh name to have names, especially on a day
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that means so much to so many mothers. But how are you doing now,
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that's the question I want to ask you. Well, when that situation
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occurred, and like you said, it was like a day you know,
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the mothers, a lot of people don't understand it. The um that day
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for me for years was like, uh, it was a memory, you
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know, and it was like I didn't even feel comfortable, um, celebrate
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in Mother's Day for years because I feel like I didn't deserve to celebrate it,
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and I feel like, um, I was being disrespectful towards him,
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I was being disrespectful towards the family, you know. Um, I had
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came into a mind frame that I'm supposed to feel the pressed on this day
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and I'm supposed to be locked in a darker in the house or you know,
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for a long time, I didn't celebrate Mother's Day because I punished myself
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because I didn't forgive myself for that situation. So, um, now about
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four years ago, I finally decided to celebrate it. So now I'm great.
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I love Mother's Day. I look forward to it. I know I'm
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worthy of it. I know that I deserve because I'm a great mother to
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my children. I'm a great woman in my household at the end of the
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day, and I'm better with it now. I'm way better than than I
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was back then. Okay, well, there you have it. It has
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been asked and she answered. So we're gonna move on because she has moved
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on. Page. You are youth advocate for domestic violence? What types of
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services do you provide? I provide, Uh, you know, oh consling.
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Um, you know when people want to talk about you know, since
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I since I share my story, Um, I talk to people about the
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violence. I you know, I try to beat up for them because what
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I had to understand and my abuse is Um. You have to have somebody
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that not only understands you, like sympathy and empathy are two different things,
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So you have to have someone who simpath eyes with you in that situation.
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And when you have somebody that know how you feel and know what you're dealing
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with and you can actually talk to them about it and they understand every aspect
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of abuse. You know. I offer that to victims and survivals because I
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kept it in so long because I was so embarrassed and I didn't want to
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talk about it. It comforts, you know, people, men and women
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to be able to be vulnerable and vulnerable and transparent, to be able to
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talk about it. So I talk to it about I talk to it.
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I talk about it two people, even if they don't know about it or
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they're not aware of the different phases of domestic bolus. And I also talk
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which people that's going through it so they can understand that they're not alone,
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that I understand exactly how they feel. So those are the services that I
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offer towards people. Right, It's like you said, they don't know that
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there's different phases of it. Most people believe domestic violence is when the woman
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reports the abuse the abuse, but that number is rising. Do you find
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it difficult to work with the male victims of domestic violence? No? No,
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believe me. Since I started, since I shared my story, men
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have wrote me like I'm talking about long paragraph paragraphs telling me how my story
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changed their lives. And some of them have been through it, and also
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some of them look at their wives and their girlfriends or their partners different because
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of what I've been through. And also some people have reached out to me
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and told me that couples, married couples are watching my stories together and the
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men are more excited to see what happens next more than the women, and
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they are touched by my story, you know what I'm saying. So yeah,
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I feel like men are now step up because nowadays it's okay to be
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toxic for the use. But now you know, now it's it's getting to
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the point where these women and men were fifty fifty, they both take the
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toxic, the toxic thing overboard. So now we we we we busting car
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windows, were flattening tires, man getting Some men don't believe in hidden women,
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so they just take it. So now they're to the point now where
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it's like, okay, well, I'm you know, she beating me or
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I didn't. I witness man get abused, and I'm witnessing men come forth
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in my inbox and tell me about their abuse. And so I look at
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them the same way I look at women, because I want to create an
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atmosphere where I can feel vulnerable even though I'm a woman. I still understand
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the emotional part of it. You understanding the physical part of it. So
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it's not hard working with them at all because I look at them, you
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know, I look at them just like me, just in the male type
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way, right. And I appreciate you for saying that, and I encourage
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any mail to understand that you're a male. And it's no shame to that
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game to say that she's abusing me, that she's doing something that I'm not
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comfortable with. That I didn't give her permission. Nobody has permission to hit
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anybody. But it's okay to come forward. You're not less of a man
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if you come forward and report it. You're not less of a man if
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you call the police. Some friends may say, man, you call the
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police on her. Yes, it's better to call the police to stop the
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abuse than for something to happen. It's to help. Yes, please do
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report it. You mentioned, you mentioned you slightly. You took us on
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a journey of your experience with domestic violence. You also discussed how you are
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helping the community through your industry. You have a non profit ministry. About
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my father's business, tell me a little bit about your journey and your your
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own ministry. Okay, well I'm a touch basis on the youth first.
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Okay, So when I started, when my abuse started, I was in
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my early teams and let alone in my teams. That's when he got more
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physical than slightly physical. But the red flags were there. And see um
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letter on in life, you know, you know, after after some time,
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when this passed, Um, I had to ask myself, you know,
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why did I allow you know, the things that I allowed to occur
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in my life? And um, it's like the father revealed to me that
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I have an abandonment spirit. Like my my mother died from crosis of the
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living when I was seven, and my my father he was in a saw
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writing when I was seven. So the first time I felt like a male
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showed me some love, that's how I was supposed to go. So I
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was suffering abandonment issues from my father because I needed their love from a man
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in my childhood. So at their team, when I fell in love with
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this man and he abused me, the red flags were there, but that
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that won't for that for their male affection. It clunked onto the first the
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first male that I felt showed me that type of love, and so you
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youth wise, I feel like women and man boy and girl team at the
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mid team early twenties. You know, we don't look back at our past
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and say why why did I allow that? Or why do I allow people
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to do me like this? Why do I allow him to cheat? Or
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why why do I allow him to beat me? Why do I allow him
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to talk to me like this? Why do I allow disrespect? And so
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I had to understand that that was from my childhood trauma and if what it
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did was it made me feel like hurt people love you. And the saying
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is hurt people, hurt people, because that's what it was with me at
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a young age. I thought love what I what I had the imagination of
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love for me. It was really hurt, but it was love to me.
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And like I said, sometimes I used to feel like when he didn't
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beat me, he didn't love me, you know. And so, um,
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yeah and so, and I talk about all of this on my YouTube
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channel because I had to. When when when the lawyer told me to tell
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this story, he told me to tell everything, and so I don't spare
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anything I talk about when I was homeless, I talk about a woman of
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Water and the microwave debathed myself. I talked about when my grandma was sick.
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I touched bases on a lot of things because I want people. The
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Lord wanted me to bring them on my journey, and so I did with
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because I used to be embarrassed. So now goad want me out up front,
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row and naked, not in a physical sense but a spiritual sense.
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And so, UMF, we're not gonna cry today, Okay, So um
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if you feel like no, I'm not, I don't need to because I'm
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I'm I'm gonna tell tell what I need to tell. And I'm not gonna
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let the tills take front and cent them. And um, I had to
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understand that you can't judge a person that's in the relationship and they can't leave
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a man. But even though the man is doing them wrong, she and
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abusing you, sneaking, Um, you can't blame a man if he dealing
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with a woman. This this this Jebel spirit. You know what I'm saying.
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He can't leave her, he loved her, He might have mommy issues.
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So the trauma we deal with. I had to understand that there was
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some past childhood trauma you understand what I'm saying, and then opened the door
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for me to allow the wrong things in my life. And so I had
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to understand as a child, it starts at home, and it starts with
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your parents, and it starts on how you're raised and how But even so
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in like you're gonna you you're gonna grab things as you go through life.
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So you're gonna grab your own insecurities about how you look and you know,
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that type of stuff. But as a you know, being a youth person
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going through that type of stuff, you know, I had to understand I
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was suffering with abuse for a long time as a young adult. I was
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I was abandoned. Wasn't nobody really there for me? And so I held
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onto the relationship because I didn't want him to leave me or I didn't.
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And he was hurt because he had mommy issues. His mama gave him away
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when he was young, you know, So we was both hurt, trying
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to you know, hurt, we hurting each other. So, um,
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now I say that to say this new generation for them, if it's bad
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as love off off the room, you know from the gate, you know
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it's he if it ain't toxic they don't want it, you know what I'm
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saying. So that you know what I'm saying. Dad got a lot of
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while I got into advocate for domestic violence for the youth because I want I
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want these young girls to know that's not love and you are so worthy or
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so much more than that, you know, And um, that's why I
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pushed the gender. Okay, the youth. No, my nun profit organization.
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About my father's business is, um, it's an organization. Well,
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I take, you know, my money every month, once a month,
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and I want to expand it. Once a month. I get my family,
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like, get my kids and get my husband. We get together and
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we make lunch for the homeless people and we go around my city and we
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feed them. Whether they're under the bridge, whether they're in a ditch,
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whether they downtown, whether they're walking on the streets, we will stop it.
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We feed them. And they came from being homeless. They came from
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knowing how I feel to be hungry. They came from watching my father do
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it, you know, because that's something that he has a passion for.
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And so I later on I figured out that's what I have a passion for,
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feeding the homeless people. I have a passion for feeding people period because
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I love to cook, you know. So, um, that's a passion
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that I feelt like, Okay, this, this would make me happiness,
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would make me small, you know, and this would make me feel good
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in the inside. Like it's a warmth feeling for me. So it's like,
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I don't do it for the attention, and I don't do it to
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get noticed. I do it because it's from my heart. And so I
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plan on whatever go ahead does with that. I plan on you know,
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going over starting with the golden trying or you know, building homeless shelters to
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where you know, I just don't want them to have a place to say,
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but I want a program for them. Was like, um, okay,
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we take into this homeless shelter. We help you get a job,
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We help you get your ID, we help you get you know, all
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your important documents. Okay, we got that understood. We help you get
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a job. We help you set up a bank account where you can you
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can take that to your check, take a certain amount of money out for
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that that month or every two weeks, and you can hauld on to it.
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The risk we're gonna put up by time this six month program over where
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you should be in your own place. You shall have about your identification,
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you shall have all your documents. I want to take homeless shels is just
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a little bit fur them because some people they just put them in there and
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then it's it's it's nothing after it's nothing after the the these people find their
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identity again. That's what I'm fine. You know a way to work and
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say okay, I can work and get this money, you know, and
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I can get back on my feet because it's possible. So I want to
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take homeless a little bit further then what people just see to the next level.
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Yeah, you're giving them some life skill and you got the community resources
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going on here. You sound like yes, and they're in this program.
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I still want to make sure they're mentalists took and care of. So we
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have a counselate inside in the house. That's part of your your your program.
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You have to talk to a consolate at least twice a week because we
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want to make sure you mentally stable when you get about here, so we
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can know which why we shoot you know, if you need further hill,
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but if you need further services, and and and when I talk about that.
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It kind of like kind of makes me mad because we got so much
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for me to throw away, but we ain't got enough to feed the homeless.
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What's wrong? What's wrong? We could do everything else around him,
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but what about these people that's living on the street when when when the weather
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get bad? You know what I think about the homeless people when you get
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the ryning? You know what I think about. I don't think think about
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my Where ain't gonna go? What what's happening to? What's going on?
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And so there's that's a drive go ahead put inside of me that I'm praying
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for him to prosper. And so that's where that passed. You're not being
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seeing your work and it's just you're amazing. You are amazing. You've been
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through some stuff, but you you you're turning it around, and you're turning
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other people's lives around now because you're turning everybody else's life around. What's next
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for Miss Page, for you? For yourself? Well, man, y'all
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talking to miss mother and miss wife, Miss uh going to school for elving,
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Miss you know playing a wed before you know? August six, Yes,
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thank you. I have a lot going on. But I'm still doing
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the same thing. I'm talking to people in counsel them all at the same
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time, trying to take your five kids, trying to keep clean house,
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keep cook meal, going to school, I go to work, you know.
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I mean, at this point, life is busy, and I'm not
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complaining because I'd rather be booked and busy than didn't in the cask. So
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I tell I, tell the Lord, thank you for it. I thank
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him for it all I think. I thank him. I got the strength
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to get up and do it, you know, I thank him because now,
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yeah, nah, I don't live my life with regrets. Now.
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Every day we're waking up ahead, give me my strength, and we're gonna
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We're gonna push through. That's it. Yeah, you have How can you
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was get in contact with you and help support you and your organization? UM.
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You can email me always at Parkerson p A R K E R.
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It's O N page p A I G E at gmail dot com, or
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you can look for me on YouTube. Feel feel free to come man at
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page. Person and I have a page Parkerson and I also have an Instagram
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that says the Blessing the underscore Blessing page. We get Page she's doing.
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I do appreciate you for every anything that you're doing. I want to thank
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my guest Page Parkinson for sharing her story. And I look to reading your
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best selling novel because I know one's coming. Everybody's always watching. It's gonna
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happen. It's gonna happen, along with the lifetime movie that I'm expecting to
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see. Well, they're speaking, it's gonna happen. It's definitely gonna happen.
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Survibus have many amen. Survivu's have many options, from obtaining a protection
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order to staying in the shelter, exploring options through support group souch is,
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Pagees Support Group, or making an anonymous call to local domestic violence shelter or
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the National hot Line. There is hope for victims and they are not alone.
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If you are in danger, call a local hotline, the National Domestic
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Violence hot Line, which provides confidential and anonymous support twenty four hours a day,
25:03
seven days a week, or if it's safe to do so, call
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nine one one. If you're hearing this message, you listen to the entire
25:14
episode Domestic Violence and an introduction to the page Pokers some story and for that
25:26
we think a tune into Basic Black after Dark. On julyrus we'll be speaking
25:32
with with a Rhonda Green Randolph about turn versus Whole Life Insurance. What's the
25:38
difference. Don't forget to like, follow, and subscribe to the Crewe podcast
25:44
Network. This is Black Diamond. You're host of Basic Black after Dark.
25:48
We bring you a safe and relax space where you can engage openly and candidly
25:55
after eight after Dark. Thank you friend, Basic Black after Dawn at our
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Loue podcast show with your host, Black Diamond.