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026 - Ch 26 - Mother and Son · North and South (version 2)

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  Speaker 1: Chapter twenty six of North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell.
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  Speaker 1: This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Read by Mirianne,
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  Speaker 1: chapter twenty six, Mother and Son, I have found that
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  Speaker 1: holy place of rest still changeless, missus Hemans. When mister
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  Speaker 1: Thornton had left the house that morning, he was almost
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  Speaker 1: blinded by his baffled passion. He was as dizzy as
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  Speaker 1: if Margaret, instead of looking and speaking and moving like
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  Speaker 1: a tender graceful woman, had been a sturdy fishwife and
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  Speaker 1: given him a sound blow with her fists. He had
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  Speaker 1: positive bodily pain, a violent headache, and a throbbing intermittent pulse.
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  Speaker 1: He could not bear the noise, the garish light, the
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  Speaker 1: continued rumble and movement of the street. He called himself
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  Speaker 1: a fool for suffering so, and yet he could not,
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  Speaker 1: at the moment recollect the cause of his suffering, and
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  Speaker 1: whether it was adequate to the consequences it had produced.
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  Speaker 1: It would have been a relief to him if he
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  Speaker 1: could have set down and cried on a doorstep by
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  Speaker 1: a little child who was raging and storming through his
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  Speaker 1: passionate tears at some injury he had received. He said
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  Speaker 1: to himself that he hated Margaret, but a wild, sharp
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  Speaker 1: sensation of love cleft his dull, thunderous feeling like lightning.
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  Speaker 1: Even as he shaped the words expressive of hatred. His
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  Speaker 1: greatest comfort was in hugging his torment, and in feeling,
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  Speaker 1: as he had indeed said to her, that though she
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  Speaker 1: might despise him, contemn him, treat him with her proud,
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  Speaker 1: sovereign indifference, he did not change one wit. She could
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  Speaker 1: not make him change. He loved her, and would love
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  Speaker 1: her and defy her, and all this miserable, bodily pain,
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  Speaker 1: he stood still for a moment to make this resolution
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  Speaker 1: firm and clear. There was an omnibus passing going into
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  Speaker 1: the country. The conductor thought he was withhishing for a place,
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  Speaker 1: and stopped near the pavement. It was too much trouble
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  Speaker 1: to apologize and explain, so he mounted upon it and
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  Speaker 1: was borne away past long rows of houses, then passed
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  Speaker 1: detached villas with trim gardens, till they came to real
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  Speaker 1: country hedgerows, and by and by to a small country town.
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  Speaker 1: Then everybody got down, and so did mister Thornton. And
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  Speaker 1: because they walked away, he did so too. He went
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  Speaker 1: into the fields, walking briskly, because the sharp motion relieved
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  Speaker 1: his mind. He could remember all about it now, the
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  Speaker 1: pitiful figure he must have cut, the absurd way in
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  Speaker 1: which he had gone, and done the very thing he
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  Speaker 1: had so often agreed with himself in thinking would be
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  Speaker 1: the most foolish thing in the world, and had met
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  Speaker 1: with exactly the consequences which, in these wise moods he
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  Speaker 1: had always foretold were certain to follow if he ever
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  Speaker 1: did make such a fool of himself. Was he bewitched
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  Speaker 1: by those beautiful eyes, that soft, half open, sighing mouth,
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  Speaker 1: which lay so close upon his shoulder only yesterday he
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  Speaker 1: could not even shake off the recollection that she had
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  Speaker 1: been there, that her arms had been round him once,
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  Speaker 1: if never again. He only caught glimpses of her. He
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  Speaker 1: did not understand her altogether. At one time she was
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  Speaker 1: so brave, and at another so timid, now so tender,
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  Speaker 1: and then so haughty and regal proud, And then he
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  Speaker 1: thought over every time he had ever seen her once again,
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  Speaker 1: by way of finally forgetting her. He saw her in
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  Speaker 1: every dress, in every mood, and did not know which
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  Speaker 1: became her best. Even this morning, how magnificent she had looked,
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  Speaker 1: her eyes flashing out upon him at the idea that
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  Speaker 1: because she had shared his danger yesterday, she had cared
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  Speaker 1: for him the least. If mister Thornton was a fool
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  Speaker 1: in the morning, as he assured himself at least twenty
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  Speaker 1: times he was, he did not grow much wiser in
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  Speaker 1: the afternoon. All that he gained in return for his
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  Speaker 1: sixpenny omnibus ride was a more vivid conviction that there
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  Speaker 1: never was, never could be any one like Margaret, that
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  Speaker 1: she did not love him and never would, but that
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  Speaker 1: she no nor the whole world should never hinder him
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  Speaker 1: from loving her. And so he returned to the little
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  Speaker 1: market place and remounted the omnibus to return to Milton.
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  Speaker 1: It was late in the afternoon when he was set
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  Speaker 1: down near his warehouse. The accustomed places brought back the
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  Speaker 1: accustomed habits and trains of thought. He knew how much
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  Speaker 1: he had to do more than his usual work, owing
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  Speaker 1: to the commotion of the day before. He had to
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  Speaker 1: see his brother magistrates. He had to complete the arrangements
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  Speaker 1: only half made in the morning. For the comfort and
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  Speaker 1: safety of his newly imported Irish hands. He had to
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  Speaker 1: secure them from all chance of communication with the discontented
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  Speaker 1: work people of Milton. Last of all, he had to
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  Speaker 1: go home and encounter his mother. Missus Thornton had sat
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  Speaker 1: in the dining room all day, every moment expecting the
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  Speaker 1: news of her son's acceptance by Miss Hale. She had
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  Speaker 1: braced herself up many and many a time. At some
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  Speaker 1: sudden noise in the house, had caught up the half
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  Speaker 1: dropped work and begun to ply her needle diligently, though
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  Speaker 1: through dimmed spectacles and with an unsteady hand. And many
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  Speaker 1: times the door opened and some indifferent person entered on
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  Speaker 1: some insignificant Errand then her rigid face unstiffened from its gray,
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  Speaker 1: frost bound expression, and the features dropped into the relaxed
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  Speaker 1: look of despondency so unusual to their sternness. She wrenched
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  Speaker 1: herself away from the contemplation of all the dreary changes
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  Speaker 1: that would be brought about to herself by her son's marriage.
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  Speaker 1: She forced her thoughts into the accustomed household grooves. The
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  Speaker 1: newly married couple to be would need fresh household stocks
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  Speaker 1: of linen, and Missus Thornton had clothes basket upon clothes
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  Speaker 1: basket full of table claws and napkins, brought in and
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  Speaker 1: began to reckon up the store. There was some confusion
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  Speaker 1: between what was hers and consequently marked g h T
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  Speaker 1: for George and Hannah Thornton, and what was her sons
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  Speaker 1: bought with his money marked with his initials. Some of
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  Speaker 1: those marked g h T were a Dutch damask of
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  Speaker 1: the old kind, exquisitely fine. None were like them now.
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  Speaker 1: Missus Thornton stood looking at them long. They had been
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  Speaker 1: her pride when she was first married. Then she knit
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  Speaker 1: her brows, and pinched and compressed her lips tight, and
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  Speaker 1: carefully unpicked the g H. She went so far as
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  Speaker 1: to search for the Turkey red marking thread to put
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  Speaker 1: in the new initials, but it was all used, and
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  Speaker 1: she had no heart to send for any more. Just yet,
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  Speaker 1: so she looked fixedly at vacancy, a series of visions
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  Speaker 1: passing before her, in all of which her son was
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  Speaker 1: the principal, the sole object, her son, her pride, her property.
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  Speaker 1: Still he did not come. Doubtless he was with miss Hale.
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  Speaker 1: The new love was displacing her already from her place
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  Speaker 1: as first in his heart. A terrible pain, a pang
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  Speaker 1: of vain jealousy shot through her. She hardly knew whether
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  Speaker 1: it was more physical or mental, but it forced her
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  Speaker 1: to sit down. In a moment, she was up again,
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  Speaker 1: as straight as ever, a grim smile upon her face
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  Speaker 1: for the first time that day, ready for the door opening,
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  Speaker 1: and the rejoicing triumphant one who should never know the
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  Speaker 1: sore regret his mother felt at his marriage. In all this,
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  Speaker 1: there was little thought enough of the future daughter in
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  Speaker 1: law as an individual. She was to be John's wife,
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  Speaker 1: to take Missus Thornton's place as mistress of the house
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  Speaker 1: was only one of the rich consequences which decked out
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  Speaker 1: the supreme glory. All household, plenty and comfort, all purple
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  Speaker 1: and fine linen, honor, love, obedience, troops of friends would
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  Speaker 1: all come as naturally as jewels on a king's robe,
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  Speaker 1: and be as little thought of for their separate value.
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  Speaker 1: To be chosen by John would separate a kitchen wench
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  Speaker 1: from the rest of the world. And Miss Hale was
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  Speaker 1: not so bad. If she had been a Milton Lass,
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  Speaker 1: Missus Thornton would have positively liked her. She was pungent
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  Speaker 1: and had taste and spirit and flavor in her true
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  Speaker 1: she was sadly prejudiced and very ignorant, but that was
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  Speaker 1: to be expected from her southern breeding. A strange sort
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  Speaker 1: of mortified comparison of Fanny with her went on in
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  Speaker 1: missus Thornton's mind, and for once she spoke harshly to
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  Speaker 1: her daughter, abused her roundly, and then, as if by
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  Speaker 1: way of penance, she took up Henry's commentaries and tried
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  Speaker 1: to fix her attention on it. Instead of pursuing the employment,
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  Speaker 1: she took pride and pleasure in and continuing her inspection
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  Speaker 1: of the table linen his step. At last she heard him,
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  Speaker 1: even while she thought she was finishing a sentence. While
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  Speaker 1: her eye did not pass over it, and her memory
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  Speaker 1: could have mechanically repeated it word for word, she heard
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  Speaker 1: him come in at the hall door. Her quickened sense
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  Speaker 1: could interpret every sound of motion. Now he was at
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  Speaker 1: the hat stand, Now at the very room door. Why
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  Speaker 1: did he pause? Let her know the worst? Yet her
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  Speaker 1: head was down over the book. She did not look up.
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  Speaker 1: He came close to the table and stood still there,
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  Speaker 1: waiting till she should have finished the paragraph, which apparently
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  Speaker 1: absorbed her by an effort. She looked up. Well, John,
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  Speaker 1: he knew what that little speech meant, but he had
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  Speaker 1: steeled himself. He longed to reply with a jest. The
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  Speaker 1: bitterness of his heart could have uttered one. But his
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  Speaker 1: mother deserved better of him. He came round behind her
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  Speaker 1: so that she could not see his looks, and bending
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  Speaker 1: back her gray, stony face, he kissed it, murmuring, no
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  Speaker 1: one loves me, no one cares for me, but you mother.
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  Speaker 1: He turned away and stood, leaning his head against the
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  Speaker 1: mantel piece, tears forcing themselves into his manly eyes. She
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  Speaker 1: stood up. She tottered, for the first time in her life.
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  Speaker 1: The strong woman tottered. She put her hands on his shoulders.
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  Speaker 1: She was a tall woman. She looked into his face.
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  Speaker 1: She made him look at her. Mother's love is given
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  Speaker 1: by God, John. It holds fast forever and ever. A
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  Speaker 1: girl's love is like a puff of smoke. It changes
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  Speaker 1: with every wind. And she would not have you, my
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  Speaker 1: own lad, would not she. She set her teeth, she
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  Speaker 1: showed them like a dog for the whole length of
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  Speaker 1: her mouth. He shook his head. I am not fit
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  Speaker 1: for her, mother, I knew I was not. She ground
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  Speaker 1: out words between closed teeth. He could not hear what
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  Speaker 1: she said, but the look in her eyes in turned
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  Speaker 1: it to be a curse. If not as coarsely worded,
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  Speaker 1: it fell as intent as ever was uttered. And yet
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  Speaker 1: her heart leapt up light to know he was her
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  Speaker 1: own again. Mother said he hurriedly. I cannot hear a
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  Speaker 1: word against her. Spare me, spare me. I am very
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  Speaker 1: weak in my sore heart. I love her, yet I
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  Speaker 1: love her more than ever, and I hate her, said
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  Speaker 1: Missus Thornton in a low, fierce voice. I tried not
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  Speaker 1: to hate her when she stood between you and me,
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  Speaker 1: because I said to myself, she will make him happy,
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  Speaker 1: and I would give my heart's blood to do that.
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  Speaker 1: But now I hate her for your misery's sake. Yes, John,
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  Speaker 1: it is no use hiding up your aching heart from me.
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  Speaker 1: I am the mother that bore you, and your sorrow
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  Speaker 1: is my agony. And if you do not hate her,
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  Speaker 1: I do, then Mother, you make me love her more.
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  Speaker 1: She is unjustly treated by you, and I must make
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  Speaker 1: the balance even. But why do we talk of love
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  Speaker 1: or hatred? She does not care for me, and that
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  Speaker 1: is enough too much. Let us never name the subject again.
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  Speaker 1: It is the only thing you can do for me
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  Speaker 1: in the matter. Let us never name her. With all
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  Speaker 1: my heart, I only wish that she and all belonging
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  Speaker 1: to her were swept back to the place they came from.
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  Speaker 1: He stood still, gazing into the fire for a minute
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  Speaker 1: or two longer, her dry dim eyes filled with unwonted
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  Speaker 1: tears as she looked at him, But she seemed just
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  Speaker 1: as grim and quiet as usual when he next spoke,
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  Speaker 1: warrants are out against three men for the conspiracy. Mother
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  Speaker 1: the riot yesterday helped to knock up the strike, and
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  Speaker 1: Margaret's name was no more mentioned. Between missus Thornton and
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  Speaker 1: her son, they fell back into their usual mode of
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  Speaker 1: talk about facts, not opinions, far less feelings. Their voices
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  Speaker 1: and tones were calm and cold. A stranger might have
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  Speaker 1: gone away and thought that he had never seen such
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  Speaker 1: frigid indifference of demeanor between such near relations. End of
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  Speaker 1: Chapter twenty six