Latest / Curtis Sliwa & Larry Mendte In The Morning / Matthew John Bocchi, Author Interview

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Matthew John Bocchi, Author Interview · Curtis Sliwa & Larry Mendte In The Morning

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: And now we're honored to be joined by Matthew John
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Bocce for a deeply personal look at the lasting impact
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: of 9-11 from the families. He wrote a book from
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: the perspective of a child of 9-11. Matthew lost his
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: father in the World Trade Center, of course, when he
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  Speaker 1: was just nine years old. Matthew, can we take you
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  Speaker 1: back to that day and how it happened, how it
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  Speaker 1: unfolded for you?
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  Speaker 2: The morning was kind of... Eerily similar to the weather
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: we're having right now this week. And it was so beautiful.
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  Speaker 2: I remember that feeling of summer transitioning into fall. And
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  Speaker 2: I was pulled out of class at about 9 o'clock
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  Speaker 2: in the morning. And when I walked into the hallway,
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  Speaker 2: I saw my brother Nick standing there with his teacher.
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  Speaker 2: And they told us that a plane hit our dad's building,
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  Speaker 2: that he was safe. And they were evacuating the tower.
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  Speaker 2: There was nothing to worry about. And I sort of
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  Speaker 2: began to question what was going on because I watched
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  Speaker 2: my friends and my classmates getting pulled out of school
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  Speaker 2: one by one. their parents coming into school, into the classrooms,
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: taking their kids out. And I kind of questioned why
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  Speaker 2: my mom decided to keep me in school. And I
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  Speaker 2: sort of realized when I got home later that day,
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  Speaker 2: as I reflect back now, why she chose to do
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  Speaker 2: it that way. Because when my brother and I got
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  Speaker 2: off the bus at three o'clock in the afternoon, we
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  Speaker 2: walked up the hill to our house. I saw about
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  Speaker 2: 30 or 40 cars parked in the driveway and walked
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  Speaker 2: inside the house. And that's where I saw the footage
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  Speaker 2: for the first time and slowly began to understand how, um,
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  Speaker 2: how severe the events really were.
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  Speaker 3: This is Curtis Lee with Matthew. At that point, recognizing
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  Speaker 3: what had occurred, how did you and your family continue
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  Speaker 3: on from that moment on?
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  Speaker 2: So we held out on a lot of hope that
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  Speaker 2: my dad would make it out of the building and
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  Speaker 2: that he got out of the building. That day, seeing
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  Speaker 2: the footage, was the day that they only showed in
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  Speaker 2: my opinion, very specific and graphic things on TV. Some
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  Speaker 2: of those images would, in my opinion, change my outlook
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  Speaker 2: on life and that day in general. And sort of
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  Speaker 2: fundamentally changed me and how I dealt with my grief
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  Speaker 2: regarding my dad's death. Yet we still held out onto hope.
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  Speaker 2: I would call my dad's cell phone every day, leave voicemails,
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  Speaker 2: begging him to come home. I sort of fell into
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  Speaker 2: this naive belief that maybe He was in the collapse
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  Speaker 2: and that something hit him in the head. He didn't
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  Speaker 2: remember who he was or where he was from and
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: that he'd eventually make his way back home. They found
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  Speaker 2: him a few days later and then they came to
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  Speaker 2: the house a week later to tell us that they
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  Speaker 2: found him. We buried him 10 days after the event.
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  Speaker 2: And I still kind of didn't want to believe it
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  Speaker 2: to be true. I still didn't want to think that
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  Speaker 2: it was true. And I thought that maybe one day
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  Speaker 2: he still would come home.
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  Speaker 1: I can't imagine being that young and getting the news
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  Speaker 1: that that way with an event that big. And I'm wondering,
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  Speaker 1: as you went through this journey of trying to deal
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: with this, what were the low points and how did
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  Speaker 1: you get through it?
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  Speaker 2: I think there's no rule book into how people deal
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  Speaker 2: with tragedies and loss in general, right? But I think
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  Speaker 2: that losing my father in such a publicized, sensationalized way
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  Speaker 2: was something that I struggled with and I challenged with
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  Speaker 2: a lot. The fact that I felt his death was
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  Speaker 2: essentially accessible for anyone to witness and watch at any
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  Speaker 2: given point was a really difficult part for me to
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  Speaker 2: sort of navigate and challenge. So I became pretty obsessed
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  Speaker 2: from an early age in the following days, weeks, months
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  Speaker 2: after he died, uh, into looking at the footage and
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  Speaker 2: that took over my life. And, um, I got to
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  Speaker 2: this point when I was about 14 years old, where
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  Speaker 2: I was questioning every family member. that spoke to him,
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  Speaker 2: mainly my mom and my dad's brother, and wondering what
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  Speaker 2: they thought happened to him. And unfortunately for me, I
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  Speaker 2: had an uncle through marriage who stepped into my life
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  Speaker 2: and took advantage of that vulnerability and used it to
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  Speaker 2: take advantage of me. And that would lead me down
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  Speaker 2: a road of drug and alcohol abuse for years and
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  Speaker 2: took me a long time to pull myself out of that.
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  Speaker 2: And today I'm now over 11 years sober, but But
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  Speaker 2: it was a long journey and a long battle to
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  Speaker 2: get here. And in all honesty, I don't think I've
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  Speaker 2: come to that. I didn't start coming to the peace
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  Speaker 2: regarding my father's death and all the events surrounding it
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  Speaker 2: until only recently. It's taken a long time to get
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  Speaker 2: to this point.
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  Speaker 3: Now, Matthew, throughout that ordeal for yourself and your family
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  Speaker 3: and extended family, your peer group who didn't have that
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  Speaker 3: kind of personal loss, how did they relate to the
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  Speaker 3: attack on 9-11 and how does your generation react to
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  Speaker 3: it 25 years later?
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  Speaker 2: My generation, we grew up in this, we remember what
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  Speaker 2: it was like before. And we grew up throughout it.
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  Speaker 2: And obviously after it, I will say sadly that the,
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  Speaker 2: the check-ins and the phone calls every year have gotten
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  Speaker 2: less and less as the years have gone by. I
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  Speaker 2: feel like people reach out with more monumental years. Um,
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  Speaker 2: but a lot of my friends and I don't blame them.
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  Speaker 2: They didn't understand how to approach it in general. I mean, it's,
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  Speaker 2: It was not even anything that was taught in school
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  Speaker 2: when we were in high school. And when we got
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  Speaker 2: to college, it still wasn't taught in school. So how
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  Speaker 2: do you sort of relate to someone who went through
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  Speaker 2: a national worldwide tragedy, essentially, and an event that changed
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  Speaker 2: all of our lives? How do you relate to someone
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  Speaker 2: when you haven't gone through anything remotely similar? It's just
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  Speaker 2: there's no way to sort of level with them, you know?
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  Speaker 2: So I think they kind of struggle with that themselves
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  Speaker 2: because they didn't know what to say at times.
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  Speaker 1: Did writing the book help?
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  Speaker 2: Writing the book was extremely cathartic for me because it
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  Speaker 2: was the first time I put pen to paper and
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  Speaker 2: no longer had to carry the secrets anymore. And I
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  Speaker 2: was free of it. It was therapeutic and extremely powerful
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  Speaker 2: for me to finally let it out. Doing so, I
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  Speaker 2: kind of found that a lot of other 9-11 children,
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  Speaker 2: now adults, went through the same experiences that I went through.
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  Speaker 2: I thought I was very, very unique in the obsession
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  Speaker 2: of looking at the footage and the struggles that I
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  Speaker 2: went through after, mental health challenges. And over the years,
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  Speaker 2: I found... numerous 9-11 children who have reached out to
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  Speaker 2: me and basically expressed that they went through the same
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  Speaker 2: exact thing. They struggle with the same exact experiences, the
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  Speaker 2: feelings of being different, the feelings of being judged and
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  Speaker 2: pitied and looked at. And I sort of allowed myself
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  Speaker 2: to be a voice for those kids who didn't have
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  Speaker 2: the power to speak up about their struggles.
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  Speaker 1: Well, Matthew, you just are an amazing person. We really
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: appreciate so much you spending some time with us and
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: telling your story. The book is called Sway. And I'm
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  Speaker 1: certain that people can get that anywhere on Amazon or bookstores?
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, bookstores, etc.
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  Speaker 3: Perfect.
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  Speaker 1: Thank you very much. Matthew John Bocci.
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  Speaker 3: Up next, we're going downtown to Natalie Magliore, who is
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: live from the World Trade Center site, before the commemoration
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  Speaker 3: begins in the next hour.