Latest / Real. Guy. Pods. / "Don't Be A Dick, Dad." | Episode #305 | NSFW

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"Don't Be A Dick, Dad." | Episode #305 | NSFW · Real. Guy. Pods.

• 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,840 (upbeat music) 2 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:02,580 - Oh, wake up, daddy, show 'em. 3 00:00:02,580 --> 00:00:05,340 (upbeat music) 4 00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:07,480 Welcome, welcome, welcome everybody 5 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:11,580 to the dad's home podcast episode number 305. 6 00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:12,540 (upbeat music) 7 00:00:12,540 --> 00:00:15,280 I'm Bauer, that is Mr. Chad. 8 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:20,700 Welcome to what has been largely at least 9 00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:23,700 around my house of very depressing weekend. 10 00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:26,260 It's been a little bit more than a couple weeks. 11 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:27,100 It's been a tough week. 12 00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:28,900 - That was my week last week, so. 13 00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:30,420 - Right, so what do you do? 14 00:00:30,420 --> 00:00:32,300 It was going to happen some point in time 15 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:36,340 and between the lions getting crushed, 16 00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,860 which I did not expect to happen. 17 00:00:38,860 --> 00:00:41,540 My daughter having a softball tournament 18 00:00:41,540 --> 00:00:44,100 in which all three games were lost. 19 00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:47,740 But, and by the way, it was one of those tournaments 20 00:00:47,740 --> 00:00:49,140 and Chad, I know you've been to them, 21 00:00:49,140 --> 00:00:50,140 you've been wearing them, 22 00:00:50,140 --> 00:00:52,580 but they still don't get any easier the older I get. 23 00:00:52,580 --> 00:00:57,580 Your first game starts at 9.50 in the evening. 24 00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,300 And then you have that for 70 minutes 25 00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:01,500 and then you've got a bit of a delay 26 00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:03,340 and then you've got a second game that kicks in 27 00:01:03,340 --> 00:01:07,340 at about midnight, wraps up about 115 in the morning. 28 00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:09,100 That happened all weekend for us. 29 00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:12,300 So, it was, and then we lost, so it was then 30 00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:15,780 it was the loss and the drive home for a half hour afterwards. 31 00:01:15,780 --> 00:01:19,340 All of it was just, it was awful. 32 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:23,620 But that said, it would be tick-tock. 33 00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:27,380 My daughter having a meltdown over tick-tock going away. 34 00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:31,460 Because, you know, for her it's like her best friend, 35 00:01:31,460 --> 00:01:36,020 her best, what she grew up having been so close to for so long, 36 00:01:36,020 --> 00:01:39,980 I swear to God, and this is in between the games last night. 37 00:01:39,980 --> 00:01:43,140 Every girl on the team was like, 38 00:01:43,140 --> 00:01:46,100 "Tick-tock doesn't work, I can't." 39 00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:47,500 We, something like that, said. 40 00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:49,180 Yeah, we pull in for like an, 41 00:01:49,180 --> 00:01:52,020 our 8.30, we're gonna get there at nine games at 9.30, 42 00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:52,860 we gotta be there at 8.30. 43 00:01:52,860 --> 00:01:54,180 So, we're pulling in for that and Charles said, 44 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,020 "Oh my God, oh my God, what's wrong? 45 00:01:56,020 --> 00:01:57,380 What's wrong with some time with mom? 46 00:01:57,380 --> 00:01:59,420 What's happening when we left? What's going on?" 47 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:01,420 She said, "No, they're shutting down tick-tock tonight. 48 00:02:01,420 --> 00:02:02,540 It was supposed to be tomorrow." 49 00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:06,500 I'm like, "Oh, oh, okay, well, sorry." 50 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:08,340 Oh my God, the devastation. 51 00:02:08,340 --> 00:02:10,900 The devastation from every girl on that team, 52 00:02:10,900 --> 00:02:15,260 like, they're talking about it like it was their closest friend 53 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,140 since they, or their imaginary friend. 54 00:02:17,140 --> 00:02:19,820 I think of it like their imaginary friend died, 55 00:02:19,820 --> 00:02:21,580 and that's what tick-tock, that's what happened 56 00:02:21,580 --> 00:02:23,020 with tick-tock last night. 57 00:02:23,020 --> 00:02:26,100 Their imaginary friend that they've had since they were little died. 58 00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:29,860 You've probably seen that meme where there's the dude standing 59 00:02:29,860 --> 00:02:32,660 in front of the grave, like, gravestone. 60 00:02:32,660 --> 00:02:34,820 He's leaning over and he's kind of going like this 61 00:02:34,820 --> 00:02:38,020 where he's got those little, do the selfie. 62 00:02:38,020 --> 00:02:40,900 Yeah, do the selfie in front of the gravestone. 63 00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:43,380 People have put all kinds of shit on the gravestone. 64 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:44,220 Yeah, yeah. 65 00:02:44,220 --> 00:02:48,300 And it was like, it was tick-tock was on the gravestone 66 00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:50,580 and his little like this was like, 67 00:02:50,580 --> 00:02:53,380 a guy who never got on tick-tock in the first place. 68 00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:56,660 So I definitely like, that meme was like speaking to my heart. 69 00:02:56,660 --> 00:03:00,180 You can't be relatable as hard as much as you try as a parent. 70 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:04,500 You can't be relatable about this because you come across 71 00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:05,860 looking like an asshole. 72 00:03:05,860 --> 00:03:08,700 So I'm like, hey, I know it sucks, I'm sorry. 73 00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:11,420 There was once this thing that we had, 74 00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:13,060 secretly you were laughing. 75 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:16,020 And then from there, I'm like, it was called my space 76 00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:17,340 and it disappeared. 77 00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:19,140 Yeah, we all had accounts. 78 00:03:19,140 --> 00:03:20,780 I miss my space. 79 00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:23,940 It disappeared and it would never to be seen again. 80 00:03:23,940 --> 00:03:26,500 And so I understand some, Dad, you don't get it. 81 00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:28,820 I'm like, okay. 82 00:03:28,820 --> 00:03:30,900 You're right. 83 00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:33,700 We once had these things called newspapers 84 00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:35,460 and there was a newspaper delivery boy. 85 00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:40,060 But there's, I can't, you can't, you cannot relate to that. 86 00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:41,060 It is irre relatable. 87 00:03:41,060 --> 00:03:43,540 That's not a word, but I'm using it right now. 88 00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:44,700 You can't relate to that. 89 00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:45,940 So it was, it was now. 90 00:03:45,940 --> 00:03:48,100 It was now copyright, Bauer, 2035. 91 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:51,540 So that's one of those things that I just, 92 00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:56,540 I realized now from my years as a dad, just listen, 93 00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:59,900 just listen to what she and her friends have to say. 94 00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:02,740 Just listen to how they're upset about it. 95 00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:05,260 Listen as much as you want to make jokes, 96 00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:07,420 as much as you have a sarcastic punch line 97 00:04:07,420 --> 00:04:09,500 to go with whatever they're saying. 98 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:10,980 Yeah, just listen. 99 00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:13,500 And I just listened for the most part last night too. 100 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:17,500 And the prototype, people, this works, this works in marriages 101 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,140 and with your children. 102 00:04:19,140 --> 00:04:23,660 If upfront, you ask, do you want me to help 103 00:04:23,660 --> 00:04:25,540 or do you want me to listen? 104 00:04:25,540 --> 00:04:26,380 Yes. 105 00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:28,020 If you ask that question upfront, 106 00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:30,620 then it sets your expectations as well as theirs. 107 00:04:30,620 --> 00:04:34,620 Like, I just, well, I don't know, they have to figure out, 108 00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:35,780 what do they need? 109 00:04:35,780 --> 00:04:39,340 But then you just get to sit back and enjoy the ride. 110 00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:41,380 Especially if it's listen, because then you're like, 111 00:04:41,380 --> 00:04:43,380 cool, I got, I got no skin in the game. 112 00:04:43,380 --> 00:04:44,540 I'm just here to be an ear. 113 00:04:44,540 --> 00:04:45,380 That's it. 114 00:04:45,380 --> 00:04:46,580 At no point do I have to try to come up 115 00:04:46,580 --> 00:04:47,900 with a resolution here? 116 00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:49,860 And don't point, do I have to get my toolbox out 117 00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:51,020 to try to fix something? 118 00:04:51,020 --> 00:04:54,900 This is just listen and just be there at the end of it. 119 00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:55,940 All that sucks. 120 00:04:55,940 --> 00:04:57,380 Oh, I'm sorry, that's hard. 121 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,380 That sucks. 122 00:04:58,380 --> 00:04:59,380 That's all. 123 00:04:59,380 --> 00:04:59,900 Yeah. 124 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:00,900 No, go to the pain. 125 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,340 Again, don't bring up my space. 126 00:05:02,340 --> 00:05:03,700 Just a little tip for us. 127 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:04,660 I'll hear what now. 128 00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:05,660 (laughing) 129 00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:07,860 If you have not yet had this conversation, 130 00:05:07,860 --> 00:05:11,260 'cause today we're back and supposedly, 131 00:05:11,260 --> 00:05:12,420 TikTok's back on today. 132 00:05:12,420 --> 00:05:13,700 I don't know how long that's gonna be. 133 00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:16,380 I don't know what it's gonna end up looking like. 134 00:05:16,380 --> 00:05:17,900 I wouldn't know, I'm not on it. 135 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:21,020 So I have to hear these things second hand. 136 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:23,020 Yeah, I got the alert from my daughter earlier to, 137 00:05:23,020 --> 00:05:24,380 it's back, it's back. 138 00:05:24,380 --> 00:05:25,540 All right. 139 00:05:25,540 --> 00:05:28,180 Glad we went through all that emotion last night then. 140 00:05:28,180 --> 00:05:30,940 Glad we had the moments of crying, 141 00:05:30,940 --> 00:05:31,780 but I'm glad it's back. 142 00:05:31,780 --> 00:05:33,820 So we're all, we're good. 143 00:05:33,820 --> 00:05:35,900 We're good for right now, we're good. 144 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:40,900 Also for dads who realize it a little self-reflection 145 00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:43,700 to how cool you may or may not be. 146 00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:45,180 If you're looking for a little help in that world, 147 00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:47,700 you've got some suggestions for you because, 148 00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,820 there's a new list out chat. 149 00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:51,860 And I say this only because my wife and I, 150 00:05:51,860 --> 00:05:53,340 for the better part of the last year, 151 00:05:53,340 --> 00:05:56,740 have been holding on to the phrasing, 152 00:05:56,740 --> 00:05:59,060 the words that our daughters speak, 153 00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:01,180 and then just throw it right back in their face, 154 00:06:01,180 --> 00:06:04,900 sounding as uncool as we possibly can when we're saying it, 155 00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:07,660 not using it at the right moments, purposefully, 156 00:06:07,660 --> 00:06:09,620 100% first fully. 157 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,220 So they go, that's not what that means, dad. 158 00:06:12,220 --> 00:06:13,060 Dad. 159 00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:15,780 You'll figure this out when you're a parent, 160 00:06:15,780 --> 00:06:17,300 you can play this game with your kids too. 161 00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:18,140 - No, that is so bad. 162 00:06:18,140 --> 00:06:19,300 - We know exactly what's going on, 163 00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:20,500 but we sound stupid. 164 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:21,500 It is. - And we love it. 165 00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:22,580 - So much fun. 166 00:06:22,580 --> 00:06:25,580 It is, it is, it's what keeps me going day to day. 167 00:06:25,580 --> 00:06:27,340 I mean, it is a blast. 168 00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:29,020 That the rizz that I bring, 169 00:06:29,020 --> 00:06:30,220 never sorry, it was so like, 170 00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:31,980 (laughing) 171 00:06:31,980 --> 00:06:34,220 I mean, yeah. 172 00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:37,020 So that's, Ed, there's a new list out of things 173 00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:38,540 that we shouldn't be saying anymore. 174 00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:40,500 In other words, there, somewhere, 175 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,660 somebody came up with a collection of words 176 00:06:42,660 --> 00:06:45,060 that nobody should be using here in 2025. 177 00:06:45,060 --> 00:06:47,460 These are a list of words that technically are banned 178 00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:50,380 according to not only my daughter, 179 00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:53,900 but the Lake Superior State University 180 00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:55,860 who posted all this. 181 00:06:55,860 --> 00:06:57,780 - Wow. - I mean, see, 182 00:06:57,780 --> 00:07:00,740 they are the authority, obviously. 183 00:07:00,740 --> 00:07:02,540 - I mean, I knew that. 184 00:07:02,540 --> 00:07:04,100 How does the world not know? 185 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,420 Lake Superior State University is-- 186 00:07:06,420 --> 00:07:07,980 - Look, the holder of the lists. 187 00:07:07,980 --> 00:07:09,860 - There will be for the keys. 188 00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:11,860 - For all the parents who have tweens in teenagers, 189 00:07:11,860 --> 00:07:13,460 there will be a point in the next three months 190 00:07:13,460 --> 00:07:15,580 where you're like, isn't that word done with already? 191 00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:17,980 And there's only one place to get that authority from. 192 00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:21,980 And that is, LSSU, Lake Superior State University 193 00:07:21,980 --> 00:07:23,660 or the only place you can get that. 194 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:25,300 Anybody else, it's bullshit, 195 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:28,820 but Lake Superior State University, they've got the end. 196 00:07:28,820 --> 00:07:30,540 So, here's the people-- - Don't believe 197 00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:33,140 Vogue or Men's Health or none of that shit. 198 00:07:33,140 --> 00:07:35,260 - Lake Superior State University, go. 199 00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:36,580 - Yeah, fuck that Harvard? 200 00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:38,820 No, Lake Superior State University, 201 00:07:38,820 --> 00:07:40,980 which I think might actually be a community college. 202 00:07:40,980 --> 00:07:43,460 I'm not sure, but look here, even though it's got state in there. 203 00:07:43,460 --> 00:07:44,300 Here's what I'm gonna do. 204 00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:46,060 Get a piece of paper in front of you, Mr. Chad. 205 00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:48,860 For every one of these that you use, 206 00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:51,620 you would say I use somewhat regularly, 207 00:07:51,620 --> 00:07:52,940 not making fun of your kids, 208 00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:53,980 'cause there's some that are in there for that, 209 00:07:53,980 --> 00:07:55,420 but there are other ones 210 00:07:55,420 --> 00:07:57,460 that they're saying we shouldn't use any more period. 211 00:07:57,460 --> 00:08:00,500 And I know I use them with regularity, okay? 212 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:03,500 So, a little check mark on your paper 213 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:04,980 for one you use with regularity. 214 00:08:04,980 --> 00:08:06,220 And we'll keep scoring. - I'm ready. 215 00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,060 - All right, here we go. 216 00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:09,420 So, again, Sue St. Marie, which is the Upper Peninsula 217 00:08:09,420 --> 00:08:12,380 of Michigan, New Year brings the promise of fresh beginnings. 218 00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:14,860 It's also the perfect moment to reflect on the words 219 00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:16,900 and phrases that may have worn out their welcome. 220 00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:20,020 So, proudly revealing the 2025 edition 221 00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:22,500 of its banished words list. 222 00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:25,460 It's a tradition that they backed in 1976. 223 00:08:25,460 --> 00:08:27,940 That's how much they've been the authority on this, Chad. 224 00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:30,660 - Back then they looked around and said, 225 00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:33,540 who's the authority on slaying and stuff? 226 00:08:33,540 --> 00:08:35,220 - Nobody. - I heard they're like, 227 00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:36,740 let's jump on it. - We are. 228 00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:39,220 We are. - 50, 50 fucking years. 229 00:08:39,220 --> 00:08:41,500 - What have they been doing this? - 50 years. 230 00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:42,700 Okay, here we go. 231 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:44,540 They say words matter, they want you to know that. 232 00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:47,580 The 2025 words and phrases selected for banishment 233 00:08:47,580 --> 00:08:50,260 along with the reasons why they made the list. 234 00:08:50,260 --> 00:08:51,340 Are you ready for the first one? 235 00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:52,340 Here we go. 236 00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:53,340 The first one. 237 00:08:53,340 --> 00:08:57,020 Cringe. 238 00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:59,580 Cringe. 239 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:02,300 While cringe wants packed a punch, it is now overstayed. 240 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:05,060 It's welcome overuse, has dulled its impact 241 00:09:05,060 --> 00:09:08,540 and ironically using it now may cause the very reaction. 242 00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:10,940 It describes, okay. 243 00:09:10,940 --> 00:09:12,220 So cringy. - That's cringy out. 244 00:09:12,220 --> 00:09:13,380 - That's so cringy. 245 00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:14,220 - Okay. 246 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,580 - All right, guilty. 247 00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:17,780 - I'll just check it. 248 00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:19,420 - Here we go. 249 00:09:19,420 --> 00:09:20,420 Game changer. 250 00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:22,900 Now I'm sad to see this one go, 251 00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:25,660 because I've used this so many different times. 252 00:09:25,660 --> 00:09:30,540 As a sports dad, as somebody who coaches and watches 253 00:09:30,540 --> 00:09:33,820 game changers approach, we use in a literal sense a lot. 254 00:09:33,820 --> 00:09:37,860 - Which is the question, like, I mean, 255 00:09:37,860 --> 00:09:40,580 hey, have you checked on the game changer today? 256 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,700 Like, because there's an app that you can score 257 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:46,580 for softball called game changer. 258 00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:49,260 So I say that fucking word all the fucking time. 259 00:09:49,260 --> 00:09:51,620 - Such a fucking dad thing to say to bring that up. 260 00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:52,460 But you were right. 261 00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:57,020 Because anyway, I mean, as a game changer, 262 00:09:57,020 --> 00:09:59,540 as Lake Superior State University points out, 263 00:09:59,540 --> 00:10:03,420 the phrase often used to describe anything remotely innovative 264 00:10:03,420 --> 00:10:06,580 as as tired as the well-known cliche itself. 265 00:10:06,580 --> 00:10:08,700 Nothing is a game changer. 266 00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:10,980 If everything is a game changer, right? 267 00:10:10,980 --> 00:10:11,820 - That's right. 268 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,300 - So they say game changer's done that one. 269 00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:14,140 I use all the points. 270 00:10:14,140 --> 00:10:15,580 I got two points as well here. 271 00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:17,060 Okay, here we go. 272 00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:18,900 Leave this phrase behind. 273 00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:23,940 Erra, as in your Taylor Swift era, 274 00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:26,900 your whatever era it might be. 275 00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:29,100 It's time to leave that era behind you. 276 00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:31,540 The terms overuse is made every fleeting moment 277 00:10:31,540 --> 00:10:35,020 feel like it demands a historical marker. 278 00:10:35,020 --> 00:10:37,220 Thanks to the name of Taylor Swift's tour. 279 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:40,500 Now there's an era for everyone and everything. 280 00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:44,140 So like he said, he's in his fatherhood era. 281 00:10:44,140 --> 00:10:45,460 He's in his fatherhood era. 282 00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:47,620 She's in her pottery making era. 283 00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:49,100 Oh, enough with the era. 284 00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:50,980 So they're saying that's something that should be bashable. 285 00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:54,980 I'm in my vodka era, which is last year me, 286 00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:57,740 the better part of 30 years. 287 00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:00,220 - All right. 288 00:11:00,220 --> 00:11:02,020 - How about this one? 289 00:11:02,020 --> 00:11:02,940 - Who's keeping score? 290 00:11:02,940 --> 00:11:03,780 - All right, go. 291 00:11:03,780 --> 00:11:05,940 I'm everything so far to check me off the list. 292 00:11:05,940 --> 00:11:07,940 - Yeah, I know, I've got three points. 293 00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:12,940 - I have not used the like that phrase outside of sarcasm 294 00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:16,020 really very often, but I have used it. 295 00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:17,900 So I'm putting myself down on that one. 296 00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:18,740 Okay. 297 00:11:18,740 --> 00:11:21,660 - Well, if I'm talking about like science with my kid, 298 00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:25,780 and I say the paleolithic era, does that stop using it? 299 00:11:25,780 --> 00:11:28,340 - No, you actually have to use that. 300 00:11:28,340 --> 00:11:30,460 The Renaissance era, those things you have to use 301 00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:31,420 the phrasing for. 302 00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:33,260 So, the dark times, 303 00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:36,300 I mean, look, we, those are acceptable. 304 00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,340 But if you're talking about your pottery era, 305 00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:39,500 fuck that, it's not working. 306 00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:40,340 That doesn't work. 307 00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:41,180 - No, all right. 308 00:11:41,180 --> 00:11:42,020 - Got it. 309 00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:44,340 - Now, when this episode is released next week, 310 00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:45,900 the episode of the Dad's Home podcast, 311 00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:47,860 some people will say, "Oh, yo." 312 00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:49,700 I'm not going to do the voice. 313 00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:52,180 Yo, did you hear that new Dad's home episode 314 00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:53,660 that dropped last week? 315 00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:54,940 They're saying dropped. 316 00:11:54,940 --> 00:11:55,740 - Needs to be dropped. 317 00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:56,860 - Dropped. 318 00:11:56,860 --> 00:11:57,700 Dropped, dropped. 319 00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:58,540 - Dropped the drop. 320 00:11:58,540 --> 00:12:01,780 Books, music, all kinds of unnecessary things 321 00:12:01,780 --> 00:12:04,180 are being dropped rather than introduced 322 00:12:04,180 --> 00:12:06,060 or released or offered for sale. 323 00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:08,220 Stop it with the drop, they're saying. 324 00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:12,260 Banished for overuse, misuse, abuse, 325 00:12:12,260 --> 00:12:15,700 and hurting my head with all that dropping stuff lands on me. 326 00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:16,540 Okay. 327 00:12:16,540 --> 00:12:19,980 I wake, oh, I can't do this one. 328 00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:21,220 IYK, YK? 329 00:12:21,220 --> 00:12:24,060 If you know, you know. 330 00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:27,820 - Yeah, no, I've used that one for sure, 331 00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:31,340 but I do believe it is time to hang those up. 332 00:12:31,340 --> 00:12:33,100 - Yeah, this one does. 333 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:36,100 - IYK, YK, how do you even say it? 334 00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:38,300 Usually you're texting it or writing it 335 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,500 in some sort of posts. 336 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:41,940 Like, here's this esoteric picture 337 00:12:41,940 --> 00:12:46,540 of this fast food restaurant in the town you grew up in. 338 00:12:46,540 --> 00:12:49,860 Just ordered myself a sluggy. 339 00:12:49,860 --> 00:12:52,340 And if you know, you know, 340 00:12:52,340 --> 00:12:55,100 it's a close-up shot of the burrito you're having for lunch. 341 00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:58,180 If you know, you're not defying anything for me. 342 00:12:58,180 --> 00:12:59,340 You haven't defined anything. 343 00:12:59,340 --> 00:13:02,380 You haven't, like, what did you hashtag the name of the Mexican restaurant 344 00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:03,860 so people could find, no, you didn't. 345 00:13:03,860 --> 00:13:06,460 You just said, if you know, you know, we don't know anything more. 346 00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:08,620 You didn't help us with this at all. 347 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:09,580 - Yeah. 348 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:10,420 All right. 349 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:11,660 - Yeah, it's a geek thing too. 350 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,100 Like, geeks all the time. 351 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:15,580 They'll geek out on something and be like, you know, 352 00:13:15,580 --> 00:13:18,180 Kobeashi Maru, if you know, you know. 353 00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:20,700 - What? 354 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:21,540 - I don't know. 355 00:13:21,540 --> 00:13:22,700 You didn't click right? 356 00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:23,540 - Right. 357 00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:24,540 - Exactly. 358 00:13:24,540 --> 00:13:25,700 - Yeah, then I have to explain it to you. 359 00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:27,380 So it doesn't even, it's, yeah, it's useless. 360 00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:28,220 All right. 361 00:13:28,220 --> 00:13:29,060 - Right. 362 00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:30,260 - That on is all you managed to do. 363 00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:32,740 And you've just now kicked the can down the road a little bit. 364 00:13:32,740 --> 00:13:33,580 All right. 365 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:34,580 A couple of others will get to work. 366 00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:38,660 This one was big at one point early on and then died off 367 00:13:38,660 --> 00:13:41,700 and made its comeback, which is sorry, not sorry. 368 00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:49,780 - So when, when Lake Superior State University first started doing this, 369 00:13:49,780 --> 00:13:52,380 that was around and that was on their list originally. 370 00:13:52,380 --> 00:13:55,300 They're like, okay, we're going to cut it off and, oh, 371 00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:56,660 hey, here it comes back. 372 00:13:56,660 --> 00:13:57,500 - Oh, no. 373 00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:58,820 - That may have started it. 374 00:13:58,820 --> 00:13:59,660 We don't know. 375 00:13:59,660 --> 00:14:00,500 - They could have been. 376 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,340 - All right. 377 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:02,820 - If you know, if you know, you know. 378 00:14:02,820 --> 00:14:03,660 Um. 379 00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:05,660 Ow. 380 00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:06,500 Ow, okay. 381 00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:07,500 - Gibbity. 382 00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:08,500 - Oh. 383 00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:09,340 - Gibbity. 384 00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:10,580 - As a skibbity toilet. 385 00:14:10,580 --> 00:14:11,420 - Gibbity. 386 00:14:11,420 --> 00:14:12,420 - Gibbity? 387 00:14:12,420 --> 00:14:14,020 Nobody cares about skibbity toilet. 388 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,340 Skibbity Fizz or Skibbity Ohio font, 389 00:14:16,340 --> 00:14:20,060 - Band them tax. At this point, nobody even knows what it means. 390 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:23,300 It just plain to noise people enough with the skibbity. 391 00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:25,180 - That's so skibbity. 392 00:14:25,180 --> 00:14:26,340 - 100%. 393 00:14:26,340 --> 00:14:29,700 - 100% skibbity. 394 00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,100 (laughs) 395 00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,900 - They say is it possible to be over enthusiastic 396 00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:35,900 about retiring the phrase 100%? 397 00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:36,820 Absolutely. 398 00:14:36,820 --> 00:14:39,620 It's overuse has left no room for nuance or doubt. 399 00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:40,740 It's just the extreme. 400 00:14:40,740 --> 00:14:42,540 100% and we all got to 10%. 401 00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:43,380 - 10%? 402 00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:44,460 - 110%. 403 00:14:44,460 --> 00:14:45,300 - Yes. 404 00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:46,140 - Yes. 405 00:14:46,140 --> 00:14:49,220 - We all go, they're like, hey, do you want me to get the milk 406 00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:50,420 for you? 100%. 407 00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:53,100 - Okay. Yes is fine. 408 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,340 I could get it for you, but 100%. 409 00:14:55,340 --> 00:14:57,220 You got to go 100% on this for me. 410 00:14:57,220 --> 00:15:01,380 - Yeah, I got to be more clever than the person on TikTok 411 00:15:01,380 --> 00:15:05,220 that I couldn't watch for 24 hours and then is now back. 412 00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:08,020 - 100%. 413 00:15:08,020 --> 00:15:08,860 How about this? 414 00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:12,340 I don't get, okay, this, I'm not sure 415 00:15:12,340 --> 00:15:14,180 because I don't think I've heard this recently. 416 00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:16,260 I don't know why it needs to be retired. 417 00:15:16,260 --> 00:15:18,020 They say it's a classic offender. 418 00:15:18,020 --> 00:15:23,020 It proves that utilize the word utilize proves 419 00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:25,420 that longer is not always better. 420 00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:28,780 Why complicate things when use works just as fine 421 00:15:28,780 --> 00:15:30,180 instead of utilize? 422 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:35,060 - That just sounds to me like some kids 423 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:36,700 who aren't paying attention in English 424 00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:39,420 and don't understand how to use synonyms correctly. 425 00:15:39,420 --> 00:15:40,260 - Correct. 426 00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:41,580 They've not figured out synonyms. 427 00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:44,100 They're not familiar at all with the Tsaris. 428 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:47,540 They haven't figured out portions of things out here. 429 00:15:47,540 --> 00:15:49,180 - One of my favorite documents. 430 00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:52,460 I mean, folks, if you know, you know. 431 00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:53,500 - If you know, you know. 432 00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:55,460 And this last one wrapping this up, 433 00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:59,620 get rid of stop using, if you wanna seem cool, 434 00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:01,860 stop using period. 435 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,340 Yes, we understand your point. 436 00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:06,700 You don't need to verbally punctuate it. 437 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:11,300 Overuse has turned into a period we are ready to end. 438 00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:14,060 Teresa recommends that we banish the worst of this word 439 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,260 by putting it in a bottle and sending it out to sea, 440 00:16:16,260 --> 00:16:18,460 literally putting it into a bottle instead. 441 00:16:18,460 --> 00:16:19,940 But if you know, you know. 442 00:16:19,940 --> 00:16:23,580 So if you speak period, period needs to go away. 443 00:16:23,580 --> 00:16:24,820 Stop saying period. 444 00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:26,180 A lot of people say full stop. 445 00:16:26,180 --> 00:16:27,900 I think that's the new period. 446 00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:29,220 - That's hard stop. 447 00:16:29,220 --> 00:16:30,860 Hard stop is my role. 448 00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:31,700 - Right. 449 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:32,700 I like hard-know a lot of times. 450 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,380 A hard pass, those are also good. 451 00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:37,340 But in this case, the period full stop, 452 00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:38,180 - Period. 453 00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:40,580 - Who goes back to back, you should have your throat slashed. 454 00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:41,420 You should. 455 00:16:41,420 --> 00:16:42,260 - Okay. 456 00:16:42,260 --> 00:16:43,100 - Frankly. 457 00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:43,940 - That's fair. 458 00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:44,780 - Or your tires. 459 00:16:44,780 --> 00:16:45,620 - Yeah. 460 00:16:45,620 --> 00:16:46,460 - Or your tires. 461 00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:47,300 - Yeah. 462 00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:48,140 - Because, you know, for you pass of a stop there. 463 00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:52,940 - Why are you insisting upon telling us all of this 464 00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:53,780 in the sentence? 465 00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,460 This is stuff that we don't even need to know. 466 00:16:55,460 --> 00:16:57,940 We're not watching your words come out of your mouth hole. 467 00:16:57,940 --> 00:16:59,540 We're not seeing it come out of your gob. 468 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,820 We know there's a period there. 469 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,380 Then we know there's a stop because that's what happens 470 00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:04,380 after a period. 471 00:17:04,380 --> 00:17:06,900 So you don't need to say period full stop. 472 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,220 - Have you texted with your children lately? 473 00:17:09,220 --> 00:17:12,180 - Yeah, because capitalization and punctuation 474 00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:15,380 are also two things that are not existent. 475 00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:19,860 And so, you know, with cursive writing, yes. 476 00:17:19,860 --> 00:17:21,300 - That too, yeah. 477 00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:22,140 - Yeah. 478 00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:22,980 - Okay. 479 00:17:22,980 --> 00:17:24,500 - We're well, there you go. 480 00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:26,660 Virtually everything on that list, 481 00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:31,340 I have probably used in the last two to three months easily. 482 00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:32,500 - Easily. 483 00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:34,380 - Yeah, that I was 10 for 10. 484 00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:35,220 - Yeah, period. 485 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,780 - On that list, yeah. 486 00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:38,300 Full stop, if you know, you know. 487 00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:39,580 You know, you know, you know. 488 00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:40,420 All right. 489 00:17:40,420 --> 00:17:42,420 If you know, you skibbity. 490 00:17:42,420 --> 00:17:43,420 Skibbity. 491 00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:46,740 You know, you know, that's all you need to know. 492 00:17:46,740 --> 00:17:48,220 All right, so look, when we come back here, 493 00:17:48,220 --> 00:17:50,020 the dad's home podcast. 494 00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:51,860 I've got a couple of things we wanna discuss. 495 00:17:51,860 --> 00:17:55,180 Number one, we've got the parenting tweet of the week. 496 00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:57,420 The number one out of the three that we're gonna have to choose. 497 00:17:57,420 --> 00:18:00,220 We have to vote you and I will be breaking this down chat 498 00:18:00,220 --> 00:18:02,980 and try to figure out who the number one tweet is 499 00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:04,060 for the parenting week. 500 00:18:04,060 --> 00:18:06,820 But also then, we are going to have to try 501 00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:09,820 to figure out how much we know, 502 00:18:09,820 --> 00:18:13,900 not just other dads, not just the kids of other dads 503 00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:15,460 as our own kids as well. 504 00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:16,620 But we're gonna have to, 505 00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:19,140 how well do we know people, period? 506 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,900 And do we know them well enough to know 507 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:25,900 those sex questions that every person in this world, 508 00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:28,580 maybe in Spanish, it could be in French, 509 00:18:28,580 --> 00:18:30,100 but they've got the question, 510 00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:32,500 everybody in this world has this question, 511 00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,100 but they're too embarrassed to ask, 512 00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:35,460 what's that question? 513 00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:38,020 We're gonna have to guess to see if we can get it right. 514 00:18:38,020 --> 00:18:39,460 I don't know what you think our odds are, 515 00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:41,620 but I'm not feeling particularly good about it 516 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,460 because if you know, you know. 517 00:18:43,460 --> 00:18:44,460 (screaming) 518 00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:45,460 - Skevity. 519 00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:47,620 - Skevity toilet, that's coming up next 520 00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,300 here on the Dad's Home podcast. 521 00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:51,880 (upbeat music) 522 00:18:51,880 --> 00:19:04,420 - There are tons of websites and services 523 00:19:04,420 --> 00:19:06,260 to help you in locating jobs, 524 00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:08,900 but who's there for you during the presentation? 525 00:19:08,900 --> 00:19:11,940 Which organization can guarantee the full attention 526 00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:13,900 of your potential employer? 527 00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:15,220 Resume, resume, serve. 528 00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:17,860 - That's home sub-stack 529 00:19:17,860 --> 00:19:21,140 that you'll be able to get some of the transcripts 530 00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:23,580 of the show podcast offerings of that sort. 531 00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:24,980 It's all on its way. 532 00:19:24,980 --> 00:19:26,260 So keep an eye, we'll let you know for sure 533 00:19:26,260 --> 00:19:27,780 when that's officially hit ground 534 00:19:27,780 --> 00:19:30,460 and you're able to go and subscribe 535 00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:32,300 and find out more about this podcast, 536 00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:34,340 perhaps even a newsletter of the Dad's Home podcast 537 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,220 'cause we've got some other stuff that we're working on 538 00:19:36,220 --> 00:19:39,460 as well for podcasts coming up in the future for your 539 00:19:39,460 --> 00:19:41,380 entertainment listening, because if you know, 540 00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:44,860 you know, Skevity. 541 00:19:44,860 --> 00:19:51,180 - Oh man, the rest of the episode, here we go. 542 00:19:51,180 --> 00:19:53,900 - The rest of it, this is good as it gets right here. 543 00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:54,740 This is it. 544 00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:56,620 - It's kinda cringey. 545 00:19:56,620 --> 00:19:57,660 - It is, it really is. 546 00:19:57,660 --> 00:19:59,100 I just wanna quick question 547 00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:02,140 and I think that this is something that I was, 548 00:20:02,140 --> 00:20:05,100 it was brought to my attention by my 10 year old daughter. 549 00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:07,340 One of the big discussions over the past week 550 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,620 and obviously this goes back 551 00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:10,540 when we were looking at football last week 552 00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:14,700 and you had the Los Angeles Rams had to go to Arizona 553 00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:18,460 to host their playoff game because Los Angeles is burning 554 00:20:18,460 --> 00:20:21,300 and it's more than a song from Bad Religion 555 00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:22,300 and it's the actual truth. 556 00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:24,780 I mean, literally the city of Los Angeles is burning 557 00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:27,140 and my daughter, my 10 year old daughter, 558 00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:28,940 they were talking about it a little bit in school 559 00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:31,540 and discussing how this kind of thing happens 560 00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:33,940 and what the firefighters must be going through 561 00:20:33,940 --> 00:20:35,700 and the people who live there in their homes 562 00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:38,580 and she came home to me and said that the teacher 563 00:20:38,580 --> 00:20:42,340 had asked them all to talk about what their emergency 564 00:20:42,340 --> 00:20:45,900 evacuation plan at home was and I went, 565 00:20:45,900 --> 00:20:50,900 "Mmm, shit, I've got a 17 year old and a 10 year old 566 00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:56,620 and I don't think I've ever had an emergency 567 00:20:56,620 --> 00:21:00,860 evacuation plan at the house for anything." 568 00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,860 Like, I distinctly remember, 569 00:21:02,860 --> 00:21:05,060 I don't know about you, Chad, but growing up 570 00:21:05,060 --> 00:21:07,860 in the 70s and 80s for myself, my parents had that. 571 00:21:07,860 --> 00:21:10,740 I lived in California, so we had earthquakes. 572 00:21:10,740 --> 00:21:13,540 We had, we obviously had seen some of the bigger earthquakes, 573 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:15,620 89 earthquake and that kind of stuff happened 574 00:21:15,620 --> 00:21:17,660 but between earthquakes and fire, 575 00:21:17,660 --> 00:21:19,860 like where my, you know, the stop drop in roll shit 576 00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:21,140 that we would hear in school 577 00:21:21,140 --> 00:21:23,060 or gonna do the desk for earthquakes 578 00:21:23,060 --> 00:21:24,940 but also at home you'd have to like, 579 00:21:24,940 --> 00:21:27,020 you had your doors closed, you have to kind of touch the door 580 00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:28,540 to see if there's heat emitting from it, 581 00:21:28,540 --> 00:21:30,620 if there's a fire right outside the door. 582 00:21:30,620 --> 00:21:33,140 Here's the plan to go out of your bedroom window, 583 00:21:33,140 --> 00:21:34,260 here's where we're going to meet. 584 00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:36,100 My parents had the whole thing. 585 00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:39,180 I've got a 17 year old fucking daughter 586 00:21:39,180 --> 00:21:41,620 and we've never had one of these in my house. 587 00:21:41,620 --> 00:21:45,220 I've never had, I've lived in a ranch, one story, 588 00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:47,380 ranch homes, I've lived in two story, 589 00:21:47,380 --> 00:21:49,980 I've lived in a fucking three story mansion 590 00:21:49,980 --> 00:21:52,740 and I've never had an evacuation plan 591 00:21:52,740 --> 00:21:56,460 or even discussed what happens in those situations 592 00:21:56,460 --> 00:21:59,940 with my kids and it just fucking hit me. 593 00:21:59,940 --> 00:22:02,220 I've never had those discussions 594 00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:04,660 and now I feel like a shitty dad 595 00:22:04,660 --> 00:22:06,780 for not having a plan or those discussions. 596 00:22:06,780 --> 00:22:10,580 So I wanted to ask you, am I alone here? 597 00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:11,580 Am I the only one? 598 00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:13,540 'Cause I mean, granted, there's a ton of other shit 599 00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:15,340 that goes on in life, life happens. 600 00:22:15,340 --> 00:22:16,820 There's other things that are going on 601 00:22:16,820 --> 00:22:20,060 and with daughters who have anxiety, 602 00:22:20,060 --> 00:22:21,980 there's a lot of other things going on. 603 00:22:21,980 --> 00:22:23,820 Nine times out of 10, I'm thinking I don't necessarily 604 00:22:23,820 --> 00:22:25,700 wanna throw that into their head anyway. 605 00:22:25,700 --> 00:22:27,740 Hey, I know you're feeling angry. 606 00:22:27,740 --> 00:22:28,780 - By the way, yeah. 607 00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:32,260 - Let's talk about a fire in the house if you can't get to us 608 00:22:32,260 --> 00:22:35,300 and you have to jump out of your second story window. 609 00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:37,500 So what do you say? 610 00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:40,940 - All of a sudden, the pipeline behind your house blows up. 611 00:22:40,940 --> 00:22:41,780 - Right. 612 00:22:41,780 --> 00:22:44,820 Here's a couple tips from your dad. 613 00:22:44,820 --> 00:22:47,500 - No, I have not had that discussion either, 614 00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:50,140 but I really wanted to say, yeah, totally dude, 615 00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:53,940 I have a plan, we'd like train twice a month. 616 00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:57,020 We go over this, the kids have to do training, 617 00:22:57,020 --> 00:22:58,340 like online, there's an online-- 618 00:22:58,340 --> 00:22:59,180 - Not only. 619 00:22:59,180 --> 00:23:00,500 - You know, quiz they're gonna take. 620 00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:03,260 - Not only twice a month, but oftentimes it changes 621 00:23:03,260 --> 00:23:04,860 from season to season, like here's what you do 622 00:23:04,860 --> 00:23:06,580 when it's cold out when it's icy on the ground. 623 00:23:06,580 --> 00:23:07,860 Here's what we're doing in the summertime 624 00:23:07,860 --> 00:23:08,780 when it's wicked hot. 625 00:23:08,780 --> 00:23:10,100 So like, yeah. 626 00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:14,620 - It just hit me, I don't have this plan. 627 00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:18,980 And I've never, as a parent, I've failed miserably 628 00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:21,780 because I haven't sat down to even think about it. 629 00:23:21,780 --> 00:23:24,380 Now, some people, when I was growing up, 630 00:23:24,380 --> 00:23:25,500 I had friends who lived in twos, again, 631 00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:28,180 I lived in a one story ranch, which was fine for California, 632 00:23:28,180 --> 00:23:29,540 but I had friends that had two stories. 633 00:23:29,540 --> 00:23:32,140 And they had like this ladder that would hook over 634 00:23:32,140 --> 00:23:35,300 the edge of their window sill and it rolls down, right? 635 00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:38,380 And you can make your way out of that second story window 636 00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:40,060 down to the ground and then-- 637 00:23:40,060 --> 00:23:41,940 - You don't break your leg when you fall. 638 00:23:41,940 --> 00:23:42,940 - Right, yeah. 639 00:23:42,940 --> 00:23:45,780 - You're not just jumping straight out of your window 640 00:23:45,780 --> 00:23:47,380 down onto-- - At first. 641 00:23:47,380 --> 00:23:51,420 - Well, they've been seriously like at the same time, 642 00:23:51,420 --> 00:23:52,940 I've got a whole bunch of patio, 643 00:23:52,940 --> 00:23:54,980 right now we moved on everything inside for the winter, 644 00:23:54,980 --> 00:23:56,820 but there's like patio furniture there, 645 00:23:56,820 --> 00:23:59,340 my poor daughter's gonna snap a leg trying to get down 646 00:23:59,340 --> 00:24:01,220 to, if I don't have, and I don't have a cost, 647 00:24:01,220 --> 00:24:03,380 I don't have 25 bucks to get one of these ladders, 648 00:24:03,380 --> 00:24:04,940 I should fucking have one someplace, 649 00:24:04,940 --> 00:24:07,820 but it hasn't happened for me yet. 650 00:24:07,820 --> 00:24:10,100 And with the fires in Los Angeles, 651 00:24:10,100 --> 00:24:13,420 it's made me think about what's my evacuation plan, 652 00:24:13,420 --> 00:24:16,380 and more importantly, I should probably have one. 653 00:24:16,380 --> 00:24:19,060 - Yeah, on the list of things, like you mentioned, 654 00:24:19,060 --> 00:24:23,100 it is number 747 of the things that you have to think 655 00:24:23,100 --> 00:24:25,660 about or worry about on a daily basis. 656 00:24:25,660 --> 00:24:28,500 So we get it, we all get it. 657 00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:33,980 But with all that said, you look at like what happened 658 00:24:33,980 --> 00:24:38,380 in California with the fires, you look at people in New Orleans 659 00:24:38,380 --> 00:24:40,580 who weren't expecting a fucking hurricane 660 00:24:40,580 --> 00:24:43,660 to ruin their life for a week and kill half their neighbors. 661 00:24:43,660 --> 00:24:49,940 We just are, we're so, we feel so safe. 662 00:24:49,940 --> 00:24:50,780 - Yeah. 663 00:24:50,780 --> 00:24:53,740 - But we're not, I mean, yeah, this shit can happen 664 00:24:53,740 --> 00:24:55,300 all at any time. 665 00:24:55,300 --> 00:24:58,460 And I am definitely like, I am very low 666 00:24:58,460 --> 00:25:00,180 on the spectrum of fear mongering 667 00:25:00,180 --> 00:25:02,980 when it comes to this or panic over nothing. 668 00:25:02,980 --> 00:25:05,540 I, but something can happen. 669 00:25:05,540 --> 00:25:08,460 - You're not in this close to installing a bomb shelter someplace 670 00:25:08,460 --> 00:25:09,300 so you and your family can't do that. 671 00:25:09,300 --> 00:25:10,140 - I am not. 672 00:25:10,140 --> 00:25:11,820 - You're all in the zombie apocalypse, 673 00:25:11,820 --> 00:25:15,100 but at the same time, I do feel like, look, 674 00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:16,740 there have been instances, right? 675 00:25:16,740 --> 00:25:19,300 Like when I was in Texas, we had a power outage 676 00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:22,140 because of the cold, you had a power grid shut down. 677 00:25:22,140 --> 00:25:23,980 I didn't know what the fuck to do. 678 00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:24,820 I'm in Texas. 679 00:25:24,820 --> 00:25:25,640 - Mm-hmm. 680 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,180 - My first time there, there's no road salt that you can buy 681 00:25:28,180 --> 00:25:30,380 to get ice off of your driveway. 682 00:25:30,380 --> 00:25:32,500 They don't have it because they don't ever have to deal 683 00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:33,700 with it in Texas. 684 00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:35,900 They don't have people coming through and plowing 685 00:25:35,900 --> 00:25:38,980 and dropping salt on the roads because it's happening. 686 00:25:38,980 --> 00:25:39,820 - They do not. 687 00:25:39,820 --> 00:25:40,700 - It never happens. 688 00:25:40,700 --> 00:25:43,340 So when a shitty event like that goes down 689 00:25:43,340 --> 00:25:46,420 and you're without power for, let's call it seven days, 690 00:25:46,420 --> 00:25:47,540 what's the plan? 691 00:25:47,540 --> 00:25:49,660 Like you're just coping and dealing with it, 692 00:25:49,660 --> 00:25:51,940 but there's never been a plan to prepare 693 00:25:51,940 --> 00:25:53,660 for something like that. 694 00:25:53,660 --> 00:25:57,460 - Well, so part of the emergency plan is, 695 00:25:57,460 --> 00:26:00,420 what is the acute emergency, right? 696 00:26:00,420 --> 00:26:03,060 Like houses on fire, but then to your point, 697 00:26:03,060 --> 00:26:07,340 what is then the plan for unplanned emergencies, 698 00:26:07,340 --> 00:26:09,020 like power outage, right? 699 00:26:09,020 --> 00:26:11,580 There's two different levels of things. 700 00:26:11,580 --> 00:26:17,740 And I'm sure national state, local governments spend 701 00:26:17,740 --> 00:26:20,300 millions of dollars on these safety plans 702 00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:21,140 to figure these out. 703 00:26:21,140 --> 00:26:22,820 And what's all the things you have to think about? 704 00:26:22,820 --> 00:26:25,540 So it's, you know, in a government level, 705 00:26:25,540 --> 00:26:27,460 it's like, oh cool, terrorist attack. 706 00:26:27,460 --> 00:26:30,020 Like this list of like super shitty things, 707 00:26:30,020 --> 00:26:35,020 but yeah, it, I think all families should at least think 708 00:26:35,020 --> 00:26:38,020 about it when you see shit like what's happening in LA, 709 00:26:38,020 --> 00:26:41,660 which is, I mean, I used to live there and what's burned is, 710 00:26:41,660 --> 00:26:46,660 it's insane to think that it could be on fire. 711 00:26:46,660 --> 00:26:50,100 - They shut down key parts of Hollywood. 712 00:26:50,100 --> 00:26:51,500 I'm not talking the bills. 713 00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:52,500 I'm not talking Malibu. 714 00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:53,900 I'm not talking about the surrounding. 715 00:26:53,900 --> 00:26:57,100 Literally in Hollywood at the streets, 716 00:26:57,100 --> 00:27:00,340 you're familiar with sunset boulevard was shut down 717 00:27:00,340 --> 00:27:02,020 because shit was on fire there. 718 00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:03,820 So it needed that. 719 00:27:03,820 --> 00:27:05,300 - Yeah, it's, yeah. 720 00:27:05,300 --> 00:27:08,020 - I don't have this and I think we should. 721 00:27:08,020 --> 00:27:10,460 And I think that there's maybe for my generation 722 00:27:10,460 --> 00:27:12,820 who grew up and I will say is comforted by the fact 723 00:27:12,820 --> 00:27:15,180 that my parents had a plan when I was growing up. 724 00:27:15,180 --> 00:27:16,140 I knew that. 725 00:27:16,140 --> 00:27:18,100 We knew what we were gonna meet in case anything happened. 726 00:27:18,100 --> 00:27:21,700 It never happened, but it was there because we had the plan. 727 00:27:21,700 --> 00:27:23,260 So I knew what I had to do. 728 00:27:23,260 --> 00:27:25,100 There was a sign on the back of my bedroom door 729 00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:27,420 that I later covered over with a Heather Thomas poster, 730 00:27:27,420 --> 00:27:30,420 but it was there that is what I was supposed to touch 731 00:27:30,420 --> 00:27:31,980 and not though you don't want to touch the door handle, 732 00:27:31,980 --> 00:27:33,740 'cause that could, if it's a fire right there, 733 00:27:33,740 --> 00:27:34,740 you could burn your hands. 734 00:27:34,740 --> 00:27:36,380 You wanna touch the door, you wanna get close to it first 735 00:27:36,380 --> 00:27:37,500 before you actually touch it. 736 00:27:37,500 --> 00:27:38,820 I can clearly remember all that. 737 00:27:38,820 --> 00:27:40,900 My kids don't even fucking, if I told them that, 738 00:27:40,900 --> 00:27:43,300 they would have had no idea what I was talking about. 739 00:27:43,300 --> 00:27:44,580 So you're right. 740 00:27:44,580 --> 00:27:46,300 Here's what I'm, well, that was, 741 00:27:46,300 --> 00:27:47,140 my plan is this. 742 00:27:47,140 --> 00:27:49,980 I think it's now is a good time, 743 00:27:49,980 --> 00:27:52,020 when my 10 year old asked me what our plan was, 744 00:27:52,020 --> 00:27:53,900 like I was just expecting me to roll with it. 745 00:27:53,900 --> 00:27:55,500 You just go, oh yeah, here's here's what just, 746 00:27:55,500 --> 00:27:56,700 and by the way, the booklets over here, 747 00:27:56,700 --> 00:27:59,780 if you wanna look at any of the pictures that I've drawn out, 748 00:27:59,780 --> 00:28:02,380 none of that, zero, Zim. 749 00:28:02,380 --> 00:28:04,380 So I feel-- - The safety binder. 750 00:28:04,380 --> 00:28:05,940 - Yeah, the safety, but just refer to it, 751 00:28:05,940 --> 00:28:07,180 whatever you want, it's sitting in there next 752 00:28:07,180 --> 00:28:08,580 to the Betty Crocker cookbook. 753 00:28:08,580 --> 00:28:10,220 Just feel free to flip through it anytime you want. 754 00:28:10,220 --> 00:28:11,500 We've got full pictures and images. 755 00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:14,260 I put videos online of what to do, 756 00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:18,020 but I feel like this is something that we should probably, 757 00:28:18,020 --> 00:28:19,220 because we haven't. 758 00:28:19,220 --> 00:28:22,060 And again, you and I both have kids that are in their teens, 759 00:28:22,060 --> 00:28:24,540 late teens, about to graduate and go to college. 760 00:28:24,540 --> 00:28:27,100 They'll have a fucking plan at the dorms 761 00:28:27,100 --> 00:28:28,660 or wherever they're going to school, 762 00:28:28,660 --> 00:28:30,980 but we don't have a plan at the house. 763 00:28:30,980 --> 00:28:35,500 I think it's time that we ramp this up, 764 00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:37,140 but I'm gonna bring on somebody. 765 00:28:37,140 --> 00:28:40,540 - Billy, Billy, why are you in therapy today? 766 00:28:40,540 --> 00:28:42,740 Well, my parents didn't have a safety plan, 767 00:28:42,740 --> 00:28:43,980 those motherfuckers. 768 00:28:43,980 --> 00:28:48,740 I just feel like-- - I mean, I watch shit. 769 00:28:48,740 --> 00:28:49,580 I don't. 770 00:28:49,580 --> 00:28:52,340 Our kids are gonna be in therapy because of this now, 771 00:28:52,340 --> 00:28:53,700 because we fucked up. 772 00:28:53,700 --> 00:28:56,780 - 'Cause my kid's gonna go back on Tuesday, 773 00:28:56,780 --> 00:28:58,900 and every kid, this is how I imagine it, 774 00:28:58,900 --> 00:29:00,260 every kid's got a plan, 775 00:29:00,260 --> 00:29:02,940 every kid's got a fucking ladder that flips over there 776 00:29:02,940 --> 00:29:04,580 and rolls all the way down to the bottom. 777 00:29:04,580 --> 00:29:07,180 And they've got a meeting point over Mr. Jones back yard, 778 00:29:07,180 --> 00:29:08,300 so they can be away from the house 779 00:29:08,300 --> 00:29:09,980 in case the house is fully engulfed. 780 00:29:09,980 --> 00:29:11,940 And I don't have that. 781 00:29:11,940 --> 00:29:13,340 So I feel like-- 782 00:29:13,340 --> 00:29:15,540 - He's gonna get beat up on the playground, dude. 783 00:29:15,540 --> 00:29:16,860 My kids, they're gonna be like, 784 00:29:16,860 --> 00:29:19,620 "You don't have a safety plan, come here." 785 00:29:19,620 --> 00:29:20,620 That's what it's gonna happen. 786 00:29:20,620 --> 00:29:22,180 That's gonna happen, it's only like-- 787 00:29:22,180 --> 00:29:24,140 - Chicken's only for not having a safety plan. 788 00:29:24,140 --> 00:29:25,380 - Yeah, fuck. 789 00:29:25,380 --> 00:29:26,900 - So I've gotta stop this. 790 00:29:26,900 --> 00:29:28,260 I can't let that happen. 791 00:29:28,260 --> 00:29:29,100 - You can't. 792 00:29:29,100 --> 00:29:30,060 - So I thank you, appreciate that. 793 00:29:30,060 --> 00:29:31,220 So I have to do that. 794 00:29:31,220 --> 00:29:34,940 - My plan now is I'm gonna bring on, 795 00:29:34,940 --> 00:29:38,260 like a firefighter safety person who can tell us 796 00:29:38,260 --> 00:29:41,100 the things that need to go into our safety plan 797 00:29:41,100 --> 00:29:42,420 so that we can create it. 798 00:29:42,420 --> 00:29:43,780 Like I'm joking about a binder, 799 00:29:43,780 --> 00:29:45,380 but is that something we need to have? 800 00:29:45,380 --> 00:29:50,060 Like what's a modernized version these days 801 00:29:50,060 --> 00:29:53,300 of what that looks like and how do we go about? 802 00:29:53,300 --> 00:29:55,100 'Cause I know, look, the first thing they're gonna tell me 803 00:29:55,100 --> 00:29:58,140 is when your clocks jump ahead or fall back, 804 00:29:58,140 --> 00:30:00,860 that's when we change the batteries and your fire alarm, 805 00:30:00,860 --> 00:30:01,700 that kind of stuff, 806 00:30:01,700 --> 00:30:05,700 oh, you have the carbon monoxide alarms as well, blah, blah, blah, 807 00:30:05,700 --> 00:30:06,540 and I get all that. 808 00:30:06,540 --> 00:30:08,580 I've got some of those, that's not a problem. 809 00:30:08,580 --> 00:30:13,260 But what's the real emergency that we need to make sure 810 00:30:13,260 --> 00:30:14,660 we're addressing in these types of situations? 811 00:30:14,660 --> 00:30:17,860 Our fucking schools, our kids, God love them 812 00:30:17,860 --> 00:30:21,300 and I pray for their safety is every single day. 813 00:30:21,300 --> 00:30:22,860 They have plans that they go through 814 00:30:22,860 --> 00:30:24,780 and rehearse for active shooters 815 00:30:24,780 --> 00:30:28,540 and I don't have a fucking fire escape plan for my kids. 816 00:30:28,540 --> 00:30:31,860 So. - They got plans on plans on plans on Wal-Francés 817 00:30:31,860 --> 00:30:34,740 with that. - You know, you know. 818 00:30:34,740 --> 00:30:35,740 We're gonna need to know. 819 00:30:35,740 --> 00:30:37,940 I'm bringing somebody on that's going to know 820 00:30:37,940 --> 00:30:39,340 and is going to tell us what we need to have 821 00:30:39,340 --> 00:30:41,100 in our plan for an upcoming edition here 822 00:30:41,100 --> 00:30:42,100 of the Dad's Home Podcast. 823 00:30:42,100 --> 00:30:43,420 'Cause if you and I haven't done it, 824 00:30:43,420 --> 00:30:44,900 I'm guessing there's a lot of other people 825 00:30:44,900 --> 00:30:46,740 that it's been on their list 826 00:30:46,740 --> 00:30:48,260 and they either forgot about it 827 00:30:48,260 --> 00:30:49,940 or haven't had a chance to get to it 828 00:30:49,940 --> 00:30:51,420 and they're gonna need to get to it. 829 00:30:51,420 --> 00:30:55,300 - And folks, we try to get Fire Marshall Bill to come on. 830 00:30:55,300 --> 00:30:56,500 He's not available. 831 00:30:56,500 --> 00:30:57,340 (laughing) 832 00:30:57,340 --> 00:30:59,500 - And if you know, you know, you know, you know, 833 00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:01,500 if you know, you know. 834 00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:04,660 All right, before we get to the tweets of the week, 835 00:31:04,660 --> 00:31:07,700 I wanna test our knowledge here. 836 00:31:07,700 --> 00:31:10,220 And by knowledge, I mean, absolutely no knowledge. 837 00:31:10,220 --> 00:31:11,820 I wanna see if you and I can come up 838 00:31:11,820 --> 00:31:13,820 with half of these questions. 839 00:31:13,820 --> 00:31:17,020 If I can really rub our six brain cells 840 00:31:17,020 --> 00:31:18,780 that we share between each other. 841 00:31:18,780 --> 00:31:20,020 - It's gonna be a problem together. 842 00:31:20,020 --> 00:31:21,820 - Come up with something, yeah. 843 00:31:21,820 --> 00:31:22,660 - Let's go. 844 00:31:22,660 --> 00:31:24,940 - 'Cause in addition to the list of the things that are banned, 845 00:31:24,940 --> 00:31:29,460 there's also a comprehensive list from Buzzfeed. 846 00:31:29,460 --> 00:31:32,540 Again, of course, when you're looking for sex questions, 847 00:31:32,540 --> 00:31:34,780 Buzzfeed has experts say, 848 00:31:34,780 --> 00:31:39,620 "These are these seven sex questions, everyone has, 849 00:31:39,620 --> 00:31:41,300 but is too embarrassed to ask." 850 00:31:41,820 --> 00:31:43,700 Now, let me give you the subheading 851 00:31:43,700 --> 00:31:45,780 just so you know what you're getting into. 852 00:31:45,780 --> 00:31:47,620 (clears throat) 853 00:31:47,620 --> 00:31:50,860 From vibrators to penis size, to squirting. 854 00:31:50,860 --> 00:31:54,220 These are the topics sex educators say people secretly 855 00:31:54,220 --> 00:31:57,340 want to know more about. 856 00:31:57,340 --> 00:31:59,260 All right, so that kind of opens the door for us a little bit. 857 00:31:59,260 --> 00:32:00,460 We have an idea now. 858 00:32:00,460 --> 00:32:01,300 I'm not squaring. 859 00:32:01,300 --> 00:32:02,460 - Let's see, let's talk. 860 00:32:02,460 --> 00:32:04,620 - I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, 861 00:32:04,620 --> 00:32:06,740 how can't do we need to get in these questions? 862 00:32:06,740 --> 00:32:07,980 - You kind of have an idea of, 863 00:32:07,980 --> 00:32:09,780 I think that's the rate of us there giving us. 864 00:32:09,780 --> 00:32:11,100 I feel like that's kind of, 865 00:32:11,100 --> 00:32:15,140 within the, within the vibrator to squirting genre, 866 00:32:15,140 --> 00:32:16,580 someplace they're in, 867 00:32:16,580 --> 00:32:18,420 because what we're looking for, 868 00:32:18,420 --> 00:32:21,100 so like, I'm gonna hop over to Reddit for a second. 869 00:32:21,100 --> 00:32:23,540 - I'm gonna jump on this real quick and say that 870 00:32:23,540 --> 00:32:25,260 I'm guessing one of the questions, 871 00:32:25,260 --> 00:32:26,620 because if you threw squirting in there, 872 00:32:26,620 --> 00:32:28,700 there's no way there's not a squirting question. 873 00:32:28,700 --> 00:32:30,420 So, I'm gonna say, 874 00:32:30,420 --> 00:32:31,300 (laughs) 875 00:32:31,300 --> 00:32:32,300 I'm in. 876 00:32:32,300 --> 00:32:36,020 - I'm gonna say that I feel like the question 877 00:32:36,020 --> 00:32:38,340 that's going to be there is, 878 00:32:39,220 --> 00:32:41,660 like what is, what's happening to my body? 879 00:32:41,660 --> 00:32:42,860 These poor young ladies, 880 00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:44,780 what is happening to their body? 881 00:32:44,780 --> 00:32:48,700 When they get so turned on and they're at that point, 882 00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:52,100 and then boom, it's a gush, it's a, 883 00:32:52,100 --> 00:32:55,300 it's a, it's a, you've got like, 884 00:32:55,300 --> 00:32:56,500 your yellow stone, 885 00:32:56,500 --> 00:32:57,740 all of a sudden you've got to just, 886 00:32:57,740 --> 00:32:59,500 you've got a gusher going on. 887 00:32:59,500 --> 00:33:00,460 And maybe, 888 00:33:00,460 --> 00:33:01,300 - Old faithful. 889 00:33:01,300 --> 00:33:03,820 - Maybe old faithful hasn't played into anything 890 00:33:03,820 --> 00:33:05,620 you've been doing throughout your life to this point, 891 00:33:05,620 --> 00:33:07,340 but this time, holy shit, 892 00:33:07,340 --> 00:33:10,420 they just wanna know what it is that's happening to them. 893 00:33:10,420 --> 00:33:11,420 Like is it, 894 00:33:11,420 --> 00:33:12,260 - What the heck? 895 00:33:12,260 --> 00:33:13,260 - Yeah, that's how you're gonna write it. 896 00:33:13,260 --> 00:33:14,300 - Is that natural? 897 00:33:14,300 --> 00:33:16,620 Is that, I mean, obviously you can go online, 898 00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:17,620 you can see that there's, 899 00:33:17,620 --> 00:33:19,420 at least from the videos I've seen, 900 00:33:19,420 --> 00:33:21,300 and the subscription I currently hold, 901 00:33:21,300 --> 00:33:23,100 there's a lot of those videos out there. 902 00:33:23,100 --> 00:33:25,220 So, it's not that you're the only one, 903 00:33:25,220 --> 00:33:27,860 but I think it's more about what is it that's happening to them. 904 00:33:27,860 --> 00:33:29,460 That's, I think the question for squirting is, 905 00:33:29,460 --> 00:33:30,300 is gonna be, 906 00:33:30,300 --> 00:33:31,140 what do you think? 907 00:33:31,140 --> 00:33:32,140 - I, you know, 908 00:33:32,140 --> 00:33:35,580 so the little bit that I have been told 909 00:33:35,580 --> 00:33:37,660 by academics about squirting. 910 00:33:37,660 --> 00:33:40,060 (laughing) 911 00:33:40,060 --> 00:33:42,060 - What I attended this time, 912 00:33:42,060 --> 00:33:43,740 - What I attended was squirting. 913 00:33:43,740 --> 00:33:46,380 - It was, it was, it was, it was, 914 00:33:46,380 --> 00:33:48,660 it was a conference in Helsinki, but, 915 00:33:48,660 --> 00:33:49,500 - Sure. 916 00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:51,020 - That's where, I believe that's where most, 917 00:33:51,020 --> 00:33:52,180 - That's where I was. 918 00:33:52,180 --> 00:33:53,500 - Yeah, that's right. 919 00:33:53,500 --> 00:33:55,700 I think it's gonna be, 920 00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:59,220 is squirting something different than pee. 921 00:33:59,220 --> 00:34:00,060 That's gonna be where I am. 922 00:34:00,060 --> 00:34:00,900 - Okay, all right. 923 00:34:00,900 --> 00:34:01,900 - If we're talking about squirting, 924 00:34:01,900 --> 00:34:03,900 that is the age old, 925 00:34:03,900 --> 00:34:04,740 - It is. 926 00:34:04,740 --> 00:34:07,860 - What is in the academic circles about squirting, right? 927 00:34:07,860 --> 00:34:09,060 - Okay. - What is it? 928 00:34:09,060 --> 00:34:09,900 - Okay. 929 00:34:09,900 --> 00:34:11,580 - What is coming out of my body? 930 00:34:11,580 --> 00:34:13,980 Is it, did I just, did my bladder, you know, 931 00:34:13,980 --> 00:34:15,100 fail me? 932 00:34:15,100 --> 00:34:16,260 - Right, house is, what is it? 933 00:34:16,260 --> 00:34:17,260 - Is it something else? 934 00:34:17,260 --> 00:34:18,860 - Should I be concerned? 935 00:34:18,860 --> 00:34:20,420 - Let's see. - Yeah. 936 00:34:20,420 --> 00:34:21,460 - Question number one, 937 00:34:21,460 --> 00:34:25,220 sex experts reveal seven common questions 938 00:34:25,220 --> 00:34:26,500 in their answers number one. 939 00:34:26,500 --> 00:34:27,860 What comes out when I squirt? 940 00:34:27,860 --> 00:34:28,700 Is it just pee? 941 00:34:28,700 --> 00:34:29,940 Hey, where'd a goat chat? 942 00:34:29,940 --> 00:34:30,980 Very good. 943 00:34:30,980 --> 00:34:32,700 Congratulations. 944 00:34:32,700 --> 00:34:34,020 (groaning) 945 00:34:34,020 --> 00:34:35,740 People have a lot of questions about squirting. 946 00:34:35,740 --> 00:34:36,580 That's understandable. 947 00:34:36,580 --> 00:34:38,620 Scientists are perplexed by it. 948 00:34:38,620 --> 00:34:39,460 That's not good. 949 00:34:39,460 --> 00:34:40,340 You don't want that to happen. 950 00:34:40,340 --> 00:34:44,020 They're saying it's known as female ejaculation, 951 00:34:44,020 --> 00:34:46,500 although it can happen to anyone with a vagina. 952 00:34:46,500 --> 00:34:47,340 That's good to know too. 953 00:34:47,340 --> 00:34:49,660 I think that's important that everybody notice that. 954 00:34:49,660 --> 00:34:52,180 The studies have been done 955 00:34:52,180 --> 00:34:54,700 on really, really small samples. 956 00:34:54,700 --> 00:34:56,140 Not the videos I've seen. 957 00:34:56,140 --> 00:34:57,780 I gotta be honest with you, Mr. Jack. 958 00:34:57,780 --> 00:35:00,260 (laughing) 959 00:35:00,260 --> 00:35:02,340 - In the academic circles in Helsinki, 960 00:35:02,340 --> 00:35:03,580 that is not what we saw either. 961 00:35:03,580 --> 00:35:06,060 - Well, and apparently a clinical assistant professor 962 00:35:06,060 --> 00:35:08,380 at Texas A&M University also says-- 963 00:35:08,380 --> 00:35:09,220 - Wow. 964 00:35:09,220 --> 00:35:10,740 - And they know what they're talking about. 965 00:35:10,740 --> 00:35:12,540 - Boy, they just don't know what. 966 00:35:12,540 --> 00:35:15,060 Both female and both female ejaculate 967 00:35:15,060 --> 00:35:16,620 and squirting come from the urethra. 968 00:35:16,620 --> 00:35:18,980 Squirting tends to be quite a bit of fluid at one time 969 00:35:18,980 --> 00:35:22,220 and chemically, it's pretty similar to water down urine, 970 00:35:22,220 --> 00:35:24,580 but it tends to be less fluid and thicker. 971 00:35:24,580 --> 00:35:25,420 So it is not urine. 972 00:35:25,420 --> 00:35:26,260 There you go. 973 00:35:26,260 --> 00:35:27,100 There's the answer to that. 974 00:35:27,100 --> 00:35:29,860 Another question. 975 00:35:29,860 --> 00:35:30,980 I'm gonna let you give me another question 976 00:35:30,980 --> 00:35:34,580 that you think is one that everybody has, 977 00:35:34,580 --> 00:35:36,420 but is embarrassed to ask. 978 00:35:36,420 --> 00:35:38,740 - Do I masturbate too much? 979 00:35:38,740 --> 00:35:40,660 - How much is too much masturbation? 980 00:35:40,660 --> 00:35:42,180 - Something along the aligns 981 00:35:42,180 --> 00:35:44,180 of frequency of masturbation. 982 00:35:44,180 --> 00:35:46,180 - First of all, I just, I will say this, 983 00:35:46,180 --> 00:35:49,380 as just a dad to other dads, 984 00:35:49,380 --> 00:35:51,580 and any boys that are listening. 985 00:35:51,580 --> 00:35:54,900 - Too much masturbation, it's like too much pizza. 986 00:35:54,900 --> 00:35:59,100 I mean, you can't have too much. 987 00:35:59,100 --> 00:35:59,940 - I don't really. 988 00:35:59,940 --> 00:36:00,780 - You can't have too much. 989 00:36:00,780 --> 00:36:01,620 - In fact. 990 00:36:01,620 --> 00:36:02,980 - But it's not what you do though. 991 00:36:02,980 --> 00:36:05,580 You're like, oh, so full. 992 00:36:05,580 --> 00:36:06,580 - Right. 993 00:36:06,580 --> 00:36:07,420 But you know what? 994 00:36:07,420 --> 00:36:09,180 - It takes a lot of pizza to get there. 995 00:36:09,180 --> 00:36:10,820 - Look, there's a refractory period. 996 00:36:10,820 --> 00:36:13,100 And then, and then you're ready for pizza? 997 00:36:13,100 --> 00:36:13,940 - You're back at it. 998 00:36:13,940 --> 00:36:14,780 - You're like, hey, I want some more pizza. 999 00:36:14,780 --> 00:36:15,620 That's right. 1000 00:36:15,620 --> 00:36:16,700 - Maybe a nap for a minute. 1001 00:36:16,700 --> 00:36:18,100 Maybe you play a little Xbox, 1002 00:36:18,100 --> 00:36:19,900 but when you're done, you come right back. 1003 00:36:19,900 --> 00:36:21,700 You're like, yeah, I could go for more pizza. 1004 00:36:21,700 --> 00:36:24,540 I could totally go for more pizza right now. 1005 00:36:24,540 --> 00:36:25,540 It's the same kind of thing. 1006 00:36:25,540 --> 00:36:27,660 I think that's how I like to. 1007 00:36:27,660 --> 00:36:29,820 - From now on though, 1008 00:36:29,820 --> 00:36:32,900 every time I'm talking about masturbation, pizza. 1009 00:36:32,900 --> 00:36:34,620 - I'm just gonna switch it out. 1010 00:36:34,620 --> 00:36:37,500 - Hey, hey, I'm gonna go upstairs and have some pizza. 1011 00:36:37,500 --> 00:36:38,340 - Not a problem. 1012 00:36:38,340 --> 00:36:39,540 - Guys, once I'm, look, I'm just gonna say, 1013 00:36:39,540 --> 00:36:41,380 not a problem until you're masturbating 1014 00:36:41,380 --> 00:36:42,340 to the thought of pizza. 1015 00:36:42,340 --> 00:36:44,540 That's, that's, or even the visual of pizza. 1016 00:36:44,540 --> 00:36:47,060 - Then, then, then, that'll become the issue. 1017 00:36:47,060 --> 00:36:47,900 - Okay. 1018 00:36:47,900 --> 00:36:52,140 - There's, here's what professionals say. 1019 00:36:52,140 --> 00:36:54,020 Professionals. 1020 00:36:54,020 --> 00:36:56,740 This is sex educator Francisco Ramirez. 1021 00:36:56,740 --> 00:36:57,660 What he says, 1022 00:36:58,700 --> 00:37:01,020 A, there's nothing wrong with masturbating 1023 00:37:01,020 --> 00:37:02,460 multiple times a day. 1024 00:37:02,460 --> 00:37:04,580 There you go. 1025 00:37:04,580 --> 00:37:06,460 Healthy. 1026 00:37:06,460 --> 00:37:09,220 - Now, they're saying, if, if, and here's the, 1027 00:37:09,220 --> 00:37:10,900 here's the other side of that. 1028 00:37:10,900 --> 00:37:14,380 If your habits have begun to interfere 1029 00:37:14,380 --> 00:37:16,500 with your day-to-day life, like your relationships, 1030 00:37:16,500 --> 00:37:18,020 or if you're missing work, 1031 00:37:18,020 --> 00:37:21,780 which by the way, why? 1032 00:37:21,780 --> 00:37:24,980 You can, you can do it at work if you needed to. 1033 00:37:24,980 --> 00:37:27,140 I'm not saying you, you don't need to take the day off 1034 00:37:27,140 --> 00:37:28,660 or even a half day. 1035 00:37:28,660 --> 00:37:29,500 - Right, right. 1036 00:37:29,500 --> 00:37:31,020 - To do this. 1037 00:37:31,020 --> 00:37:32,180 You can, you can, 1038 00:37:32,180 --> 00:37:33,500 - You can be a quest. 1039 00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:35,100 You can work quest. 1040 00:37:35,100 --> 00:37:36,100 - Look, let's all be honest. 1041 00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:37,660 You can whip it out yourself. 1042 00:37:37,660 --> 00:37:39,980 You can whip it out in a good solid 90 seconds. 1043 00:37:39,980 --> 00:37:41,580 You can be done in 90 seconds. 1044 00:37:41,580 --> 00:37:42,420 Start to finish. 1045 00:37:42,420 --> 00:37:43,660 - Oh, yeah. 1046 00:37:43,660 --> 00:37:44,900 - You don't need to take the day off. 1047 00:37:44,900 --> 00:38:00,180 - I'm not going to work. 1048 00:38:00,180 --> 00:38:03,180 - I think if you accomplish that at work, 1049 00:38:03,180 --> 00:38:04,540 you've got to do that. 1050 00:38:04,540 --> 00:38:05,500 - You've got to do that. 1051 00:38:05,500 --> 00:38:06,500 - You've got to throw down. 1052 00:38:06,500 --> 00:38:07,500 That's a challenge. 1053 00:38:07,500 --> 00:38:08,500 - That's a solid day. 1054 00:38:08,500 --> 00:38:09,500 - That's a challenge. 1055 00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:10,500 - That is a solid day. 1056 00:38:10,500 --> 00:38:11,500 - All right, it's a productive day. 1057 00:38:11,500 --> 00:38:13,500 - It's definitely a productive day. 1058 00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:14,900 - People's got a vibrator. 1059 00:38:14,900 --> 00:38:18,060 They think, oh, well, they don't need me anymore. 1060 00:38:18,060 --> 00:38:20,660 She's got that thing anytime she wants, 1061 00:38:20,660 --> 00:38:24,860 and it does way more than I can do because it moves. 1062 00:38:24,860 --> 00:38:28,340 It's got a vibration factor to it that I can't possibly, 1063 00:38:28,340 --> 00:38:29,340 unless I'm epileptic. 1064 00:38:29,340 --> 00:38:32,260 I can't match that. 1065 00:38:32,260 --> 00:38:35,060 So I'm going to guess that there's, 1066 00:38:35,060 --> 00:38:37,060 and maybe this is, I don't know if it's the guy asking the question, 1067 00:38:37,060 --> 00:38:41,180 but I feel like that's a guy thing to be concerned with, 1068 00:38:41,180 --> 00:38:43,980 am I going to be able to match up with the vibrator? 1069 00:38:43,980 --> 00:38:46,500 What do you think? 1070 00:38:46,500 --> 00:38:48,340 There's a vibrator question out there 1071 00:38:48,340 --> 00:38:50,500 because they mentioned it in the subheading 1072 00:38:50,500 --> 00:38:52,300 that there was a vibrator question. 1073 00:38:52,300 --> 00:38:58,100 - I'm thinking there's that. 1074 00:38:58,100 --> 00:39:00,100 - I mean, yeah, it's a bit, 1075 00:39:00,100 --> 00:39:05,540 doesn't like the vibrator also just fall under 1076 00:39:05,540 --> 00:39:08,900 that masturbation category, like how much is too much? 1077 00:39:09,980 --> 00:39:11,700 Like is that maybe where they're going with this? 1078 00:39:11,700 --> 00:39:16,700 Like should I squelch my vibrator use? 1079 00:39:16,700 --> 00:39:17,980 - Is there a squelch setting? 1080 00:39:17,980 --> 00:39:18,980 - How much is too much? 1081 00:39:18,980 --> 00:39:19,820 - I don't know. 1082 00:39:19,820 --> 00:39:23,180 Not the ones in Helsinki. 1083 00:39:23,180 --> 00:39:25,180 (laughs) 1084 00:39:25,180 --> 00:39:28,100 - Here's the question. 1085 00:39:28,100 --> 00:39:28,940 - Oh, this is interesting. 1086 00:39:28,940 --> 00:39:31,100 - Okay, it comes from the ladies. 1087 00:39:31,100 --> 00:39:32,100 - Oh. 1088 00:39:32,100 --> 00:39:34,940 - Will my vibrator desensitize me? 1089 00:39:34,940 --> 00:39:36,940 - No! - Okay, so. 1090 00:39:36,940 --> 00:39:38,460 - Someone happened, come on. 1091 00:39:38,460 --> 00:39:39,740 I can't happen. 1092 00:39:39,740 --> 00:39:41,260 - What are the scientists stay though? 1093 00:39:41,260 --> 00:39:42,100 Really, that's what the question is. 1094 00:39:42,100 --> 00:39:43,140 - Yeah, okay, oh, the good news. 1095 00:39:43,140 --> 00:39:44,300 This is the good news, hold on. 1096 00:39:44,300 --> 00:39:46,780 - Jose or whatever's name was the scientist? 1097 00:39:46,780 --> 00:39:49,300 - This is sex educator Ava Bloom. 1098 00:39:49,300 --> 00:39:50,780 - Ava Bloom says. 1099 00:39:50,780 --> 00:39:53,300 - It says this is a common masturbation question 1100 00:39:53,300 --> 00:39:55,220 that she gets from people with vaginas. 1101 00:39:55,220 --> 00:39:57,260 I would hope so. 1102 00:39:57,260 --> 00:39:59,860 But look, I'm not limiting it to that perhaps. 1103 00:39:59,860 --> 00:40:02,020 There are dudes who are curious and a little drunk 1104 00:40:02,020 --> 00:40:05,700 that have tried to use vibrators themselves here. 1105 00:40:05,700 --> 00:40:08,060 The good news, the answer to this, Mr. Chad? 1106 00:40:08,060 --> 00:40:08,900 - No. 1107 00:40:09,820 --> 00:40:11,540 - It is not desensitizing. 1108 00:40:11,540 --> 00:40:14,300 Any, any literal numbness you might feel 1109 00:40:14,300 --> 00:40:17,700 after a session with your vibrator is temporary. 1110 00:40:17,700 --> 00:40:19,420 So, of course it is. 1111 00:40:19,420 --> 00:40:21,140 - Let the vibrator-- - I would. 1112 00:40:21,140 --> 00:40:21,980 Yeah. 1113 00:40:21,980 --> 00:40:23,940 - Absolutely. 1114 00:40:23,940 --> 00:40:26,180 - If we just helped so far in this segment, 1115 00:40:26,180 --> 00:40:28,940 if we helped to win, if we helped one woman, 1116 00:40:28,940 --> 00:40:31,420 who was using her vibrator and then squirted, 1117 00:40:31,420 --> 00:40:33,980 I feel like we've accomplished everything here today. 1118 00:40:33,980 --> 00:40:36,460 - I think, I think we have, we can hang 'em up. 1119 00:40:36,460 --> 00:40:37,460 We can roll and hang 'em up. 1120 00:40:37,460 --> 00:40:39,980 Oh, and let me ask you this, penis size. 1121 00:40:39,980 --> 00:40:42,580 Because that's gotta be the last question. 1122 00:40:42,580 --> 00:40:44,020 We've know that they mentioned that 1123 00:40:44,020 --> 00:40:45,700 in the subheading here for these questions. 1124 00:40:45,700 --> 00:40:47,340 And I think we've done a fairly good job 1125 00:40:47,340 --> 00:40:49,780 of nailing these questions if you'd pardon the pun. 1126 00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:51,260 What's the penis size question? 1127 00:40:51,260 --> 00:40:53,100 It's gotta just be, is my penis, 1128 00:40:53,100 --> 00:40:55,140 okay, can't be, is my penis big enough? 1129 00:40:55,140 --> 00:40:56,900 'Cause that's subjective to, you know, 1130 00:40:56,900 --> 00:40:59,820 the however many hundreds of people misbloom interviewed. 1131 00:40:59,820 --> 00:41:03,820 It's gotta be, can there be pills 1132 00:41:03,820 --> 00:41:07,020 that make my shlong longer? 1133 00:41:07,020 --> 00:41:08,620 That's gotta be the question, right? 1134 00:41:08,620 --> 00:41:10,700 Is there a legitimate way? 1135 00:41:10,700 --> 00:41:12,740 'Cause every guy wants to know if they can do that. 1136 00:41:12,740 --> 00:41:14,980 There's very few guys that are like Tommy Lee, 1137 00:41:14,980 --> 00:41:17,020 like can I have it surgically reduced? 1138 00:41:17,020 --> 00:41:18,200 No, you can't. 1139 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,620 Sorry, Tommy. - Turns out. 1140 00:41:20,620 --> 00:41:21,460 - No. 1141 00:41:21,460 --> 00:41:23,100 - Sorry, Pam. - You have to live with that. 1142 00:41:23,100 --> 00:41:25,780 - Yeah, sorry, you're stuck with a large dick, 1143 00:41:25,780 --> 00:41:27,140 my apologies. 1144 00:41:27,140 --> 00:41:28,340 But I think that's probably the question 1145 00:41:28,340 --> 00:41:29,380 that the guys are gonna ask, right? 1146 00:41:29,380 --> 00:41:31,420 Is there anything out there? 1147 00:41:31,420 --> 00:41:34,620 - It's size related, absolutely. 1148 00:41:34,620 --> 00:41:35,460 'Cause it's like, 1149 00:41:35,460 --> 00:41:37,220 it's like a penis side. 1150 00:41:37,220 --> 00:41:39,180 But it, but like, 1151 00:41:39,180 --> 00:41:42,180 I mean, it's never gonna be am I too big? 1152 00:41:42,180 --> 00:41:44,220 It's always am I too small? 1153 00:41:44,220 --> 00:41:45,860 - Hey, is the question like, 1154 00:41:45,860 --> 00:41:49,340 Dr. Hernandez or Bloom or whichever one's answering 1155 00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:50,940 my questions here on the Zoom meeting, 1156 00:41:50,940 --> 00:41:53,420 if you're not too busy squirting, 1157 00:41:53,420 --> 00:41:55,420 the question I have is, 1158 00:41:55,420 --> 00:41:57,860 if she says, good God, that's not fitting in me, 1159 00:41:57,860 --> 00:41:58,860 should I just leave? 1160 00:41:58,860 --> 00:42:00,660 - Yeah. 1161 00:42:00,660 --> 00:42:01,500 - Who's that that question? 1162 00:42:01,500 --> 00:42:04,300 - If she says, I mean, is it in yet? 1163 00:42:04,300 --> 00:42:05,140 - Is that the question? 1164 00:42:05,140 --> 00:42:06,300 - Is it in yet? 1165 00:42:06,300 --> 00:42:07,460 - Right here. 1166 00:42:07,460 --> 00:42:08,300 - Right. 1167 00:42:08,300 --> 00:42:12,060 - This is a song from the Bloodhound gang 1168 00:42:12,060 --> 00:42:13,740 that I used to love when they talk about how, 1169 00:42:13,740 --> 00:42:16,580 my shit don't hit the bottom, but it knocks the sides up. 1170 00:42:16,580 --> 00:42:17,820 Like that's the best part. 1171 00:42:17,820 --> 00:42:21,220 But I feel like it's not, 1172 00:42:21,220 --> 00:42:22,900 the every, no guy cares about, 1173 00:42:22,900 --> 00:42:25,380 there's not one guy I've ever heard that's like, 1174 00:42:25,380 --> 00:42:27,820 my dick is so wide. 1175 00:42:27,820 --> 00:42:29,540 Like that's never been a question. 1176 00:42:29,540 --> 00:42:32,220 Nobody's ever, it's always the concern is how long 1177 00:42:32,220 --> 00:42:33,060 can you get this? 1178 00:42:33,060 --> 00:42:35,420 I would think of the question as gotta be aimed at, 1179 00:42:35,420 --> 00:42:37,620 is there, can I, we were watching, we introduced, 1180 00:42:37,620 --> 00:42:38,620 - Make it bigger. 1181 00:42:38,620 --> 00:42:41,140 - We introduced, make the logo bigger. 1182 00:42:41,140 --> 00:42:41,980 - Thank you. 1183 00:42:41,980 --> 00:42:45,420 We introduced my 17 year old daughter to Austin Powers, 1184 00:42:45,420 --> 00:42:46,900 the Austin Powers movie the other day. 1185 00:42:46,900 --> 00:42:50,140 And where he's got the Swedish penis pump 1186 00:42:50,140 --> 00:42:52,220 that just is the running choke throughout the entire, 1187 00:42:52,220 --> 00:42:53,060 - Make it bigger. 1188 00:42:53,060 --> 00:42:53,900 - Sure. 1189 00:42:53,900 --> 00:42:55,020 - So I'm wondering, I think that's where 1190 00:42:55,020 --> 00:42:56,260 this question is gonna come into play. 1191 00:42:56,260 --> 00:42:59,780 Is there something that I can do to make my dick big? 1192 00:42:59,780 --> 00:43:01,060 'Cause they've got the pills and what's, 1193 00:43:01,060 --> 00:43:03,060 let's see, let's see what they say here. 1194 00:43:03,060 --> 00:43:03,900 - Pena's pump. 1195 00:43:03,900 --> 00:43:07,660 - All right, here we go. 1196 00:43:07,660 --> 00:43:09,980 Pretty much what we thought, 1197 00:43:09,980 --> 00:43:12,220 how can I make my penis bigger? 1198 00:43:12,220 --> 00:43:15,740 - Lots of money. 1199 00:43:15,740 --> 00:43:17,780 (laughs) 1200 00:43:17,780 --> 00:43:19,660 - What's according to the experts? 1201 00:43:19,660 --> 00:43:22,060 - In a someone to tell you it's bigger. 1202 00:43:22,060 --> 00:43:23,660 - In a porn, dumb, sorry world. 1203 00:43:23,660 --> 00:43:25,980 Which by the way, a lot of wide angle lenses, 1204 00:43:25,980 --> 00:43:28,780 a lot of camera photography going on there. 1205 00:43:29,940 --> 00:43:33,220 A lot of smaller women making their way into porn. 1206 00:43:33,220 --> 00:43:37,780 Not quite to the dwarf size, 1207 00:43:37,780 --> 00:43:39,300 but not to the little person size, 1208 00:43:39,300 --> 00:43:41,940 but there's some smaller girls there 1209 00:43:41,940 --> 00:43:43,740 that make things look a little bigger as well. 1210 00:43:43,740 --> 00:43:46,540 In a porn dominated world that has made exceptionally 1211 00:43:46,540 --> 00:43:48,820 large penises seem like the norm is no wonder, 1212 00:43:48,820 --> 00:43:51,780 men are searching for ways to increase their size. 1213 00:43:51,780 --> 00:43:55,220 But none of the countless products from pills to creams 1214 00:43:55,220 --> 00:43:57,820 to pumps that claim to enlarge penis 1215 00:43:57,820 --> 00:44:00,740 can actually make it bigger. 1216 00:44:00,740 --> 00:44:03,580 So there you go. 1217 00:44:03,580 --> 00:44:08,580 And they say suggestion here is don't do it. 1218 00:44:08,580 --> 00:44:11,180 There's not a shred of scientific evidence 1219 00:44:11,180 --> 00:44:12,780 to show any of those things are effective 1220 00:44:12,780 --> 00:44:14,660 and you could do more damage. 1221 00:44:14,660 --> 00:44:18,500 Anxiety they say about penis length, penis size is common, 1222 00:44:18,500 --> 00:44:21,860 but this doctor says they wish more men would realize 1223 00:44:21,860 --> 00:44:26,540 the average length, average length and thickness 1224 00:44:26,540 --> 00:44:28,540 is not as big as you think it is. 1225 00:44:28,540 --> 00:44:31,580 As of a study 2015, that's the last time we did this study, 1226 00:44:31,580 --> 00:44:34,100 was 2010 years ago, are you fucking kidding me? 1227 00:44:34,100 --> 00:44:36,380 - No, no. - There has to be a new data, 1228 00:44:36,380 --> 00:44:37,300 new data. 1229 00:44:37,300 --> 00:44:39,660 Somebody will look at up for us and set it to us. 1230 00:44:39,660 --> 00:44:40,620 One of our interns. 1231 00:44:40,620 --> 00:44:42,780 - They interviewed 15,000 men. 1232 00:44:42,780 --> 00:44:43,620 - About their dick size. 1233 00:44:43,620 --> 00:44:46,380 Oh, what a great interview I'm sure that was. 1234 00:44:46,380 --> 00:44:48,180 - 15,000 men. - That big. 1235 00:44:48,180 --> 00:44:53,180 - That found that the average erect penis is just over. 1236 00:44:55,700 --> 00:44:58,220 (dramatic music) 1237 00:44:58,220 --> 00:44:59,580 This is gonna be good news for me. 1238 00:44:59,580 --> 00:45:05,860 Five inches, just over five inches 1239 00:45:05,860 --> 00:45:08,300 for the average of those 15,000 men. 1240 00:45:08,300 --> 00:45:11,140 So no matter what the first five videos 1241 00:45:11,140 --> 00:45:13,980 on porn hub are showing you, 1242 00:45:13,980 --> 00:45:17,180 the average of your thousand men. 1243 00:45:17,180 --> 00:45:21,100 Five, five. 1244 00:45:23,100 --> 00:45:25,900 Okay, hold on, just so we're all clear, just over five. 1245 00:45:25,900 --> 00:45:27,300 - I'm huge, then, I'm huge. 1246 00:45:27,300 --> 00:45:28,540 - It's just over? 1247 00:45:28,540 --> 00:45:34,780 - I feel like I feel like average. 1248 00:45:34,780 --> 00:45:35,700 - Just good, right? 1249 00:45:35,700 --> 00:45:39,060 - The penis size though is a state of mind. 1250 00:45:39,060 --> 00:45:40,580 If you walk around thinking, 1251 00:45:40,580 --> 00:45:43,300 you're the big swinging dick as they say, 1252 00:45:43,300 --> 00:45:44,900 then you are, it is. 1253 00:45:44,900 --> 00:45:46,940 I mean, who's gonna argue with you? 1254 00:45:46,940 --> 00:45:49,740 - I'm gonna go back to the list there. 1255 00:45:50,820 --> 00:45:52,220 Huge swinging dick has been banned. 1256 00:45:52,220 --> 00:45:54,460 It was banned in 1984. 1257 00:45:54,460 --> 00:45:55,620 - Damn it! 1258 00:45:55,620 --> 00:45:56,700 - It was so damn it. 1259 00:45:56,700 --> 00:45:57,700 - I hate to bring that news to you. 1260 00:45:57,700 --> 00:45:59,340 - I'm just throwing that one around. 1261 00:45:59,340 --> 00:46:00,660 I hate to bring that thing to you. 1262 00:46:00,660 --> 00:46:01,660 - Who's the big swing dicker? 1263 00:46:01,660 --> 00:46:03,420 - It was banned in 1984. 1264 00:46:03,420 --> 00:46:05,660 So right around the summer Olympics in Mary Lou Retten, 1265 00:46:05,660 --> 00:46:08,180 there was no more big swinging dick going on. 1266 00:46:08,180 --> 00:46:10,060 At least as far as we can tell, 1267 00:46:10,060 --> 00:46:11,900 from the studies. 1268 00:46:11,900 --> 00:46:13,380 - It was on the outs. 1269 00:46:13,380 --> 00:46:15,380 - It was on the outs at that point in time. 1270 00:46:15,380 --> 00:46:17,180 All right, when we come back, we are going to, 1271 00:46:17,180 --> 00:46:20,140 I think we did a fairly good job with those questions. 1272 00:46:20,140 --> 00:46:20,980 I don't feel too bad about it. 1273 00:46:20,980 --> 00:46:22,140 - Yeah, we, yeah. 1274 00:46:22,140 --> 00:46:26,220 - And I know, you and I just embarrassed the shit out of our 1275 00:46:26,220 --> 00:46:28,180 daughter's talking about all that. 1276 00:46:28,180 --> 00:46:29,020 - I hope so. 1277 00:46:29,020 --> 00:46:30,900 And our wives, I mean, shit. 1278 00:46:30,900 --> 00:46:36,380 My goal is to embarrass as many people as possible. 1279 00:46:36,380 --> 00:46:37,500 - What we live for. 1280 00:46:37,500 --> 00:46:39,100 When you become a dad, you'll learn. 1281 00:46:39,100 --> 00:46:42,140 - That's what you live for, my friends. 1282 00:46:42,140 --> 00:46:43,140 All right, when we come back, 1283 00:46:43,140 --> 00:46:46,500 - And if you can get the wife in there with your kids, 1284 00:46:46,500 --> 00:46:49,500 that embarrassment, that's extra points. 1285 00:46:49,500 --> 00:46:52,700 - We should have had our wives in discussing these questions 1286 00:46:52,700 --> 00:46:55,860 with us and just really throwing our kids over the edge. 1287 00:46:55,860 --> 00:46:58,420 - Just really, my cat had my life, 1288 00:46:58,420 --> 00:46:59,260 what's that? 1289 00:46:59,260 --> 00:47:00,260 - We're going to have my wife. 1290 00:47:00,260 --> 00:47:01,740 - Yeah, we're going to have your average. 1291 00:47:01,740 --> 00:47:03,700 I told you your average size, that's perfect. 1292 00:47:03,700 --> 00:47:05,220 Like, just fucking, 1293 00:47:05,220 --> 00:47:08,100 watch your kids face, 1294 00:47:08,100 --> 00:47:11,140 and then we'll just ride off of the Indiana Jones. 1295 00:47:11,140 --> 00:47:11,980 All right. 1296 00:47:11,980 --> 00:47:13,780 - We might have to re-record this episode 1297 00:47:13,780 --> 00:47:16,340 just without using right there. 1298 00:47:16,340 --> 00:47:17,180 - You know what? 1299 00:47:17,180 --> 00:47:19,100 Hold on, can I, when we get the fire man on to ask 1300 00:47:19,100 --> 00:47:20,100 about the escape route? 1301 00:47:20,100 --> 00:47:22,660 Can I ask him about the things like that? 1302 00:47:22,660 --> 00:47:24,900 - You can ask him about his house. 1303 00:47:24,900 --> 00:47:27,460 - Yeah, and his, yeah, that would be fantastic. 1304 00:47:27,460 --> 00:47:28,500 I'm sure he would love that. 1305 00:47:28,500 --> 00:47:29,820 Hey, we might ask you a dick question 1306 00:47:29,820 --> 00:47:30,660 if you come on with us. 1307 00:47:30,660 --> 00:47:31,500 Cool. 1308 00:47:31,500 --> 00:47:33,340 (laughing) 1309 00:47:33,340 --> 00:47:34,500 When we come back. - You come with that? 1310 00:47:34,500 --> 00:47:35,820 - We're going to have the, 1311 00:47:35,820 --> 00:47:37,940 the tweet of the week from the parenting realm, 1312 00:47:37,940 --> 00:47:40,300 plus to go to exact polar opposite, 1313 00:47:40,300 --> 00:47:42,740 we're going to have three of the shittiest parents 1314 00:47:42,740 --> 00:47:44,460 that have ever walked the face of this earth. 1315 00:47:44,460 --> 00:47:47,460 And we know so because the news has told us 1316 00:47:47,460 --> 00:47:48,700 the story about them. 1317 00:47:48,700 --> 00:47:51,620 That's all coming up next year, the Dead's Home Podcast. 1318 00:47:51,620 --> 00:47:54,200 (upbeat music) 1319 00:47:54,200 --> 00:48:06,420 - So this is a clearly, clearly, 1320 00:48:06,420 --> 00:48:10,260 not Metrosexual moment, moment in history. 1321 00:48:10,260 --> 00:48:11,780 - Death row romantics. 1322 00:48:11,780 --> 00:48:14,420 Death row inmates who just because they're scheduled to die 1323 00:48:14,420 --> 00:48:16,380 haven't given up on chasing the babes. 1324 00:48:16,380 --> 00:48:18,180 The Associated Press reported that 1325 00:48:18,180 --> 00:48:20,500 at least 30 Texas death row inmates 1326 00:48:20,500 --> 00:48:22,980 have their own files on internet dating sites. 1327 00:48:22,980 --> 00:48:25,140 These hardcore men thought to themselves, 1328 00:48:25,140 --> 00:48:27,180 who cares if I killed a couple of old ladies? 1329 00:48:27,180 --> 00:48:28,860 I've still got love into give, 1330 00:48:28,860 --> 00:48:30,940 at least for three more months. 1331 00:48:30,940 --> 00:48:32,940 These guys know the right woman is out there 1332 00:48:32,940 --> 00:48:35,640 who can see past their faults, such as snoring, 1333 00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:36,900 biting their fingernails 1334 00:48:36,900 --> 00:48:39,180 and a tendency to run over friends with their car. 1335 00:48:39,180 --> 00:48:40,540 Is any man flawless? 1336 00:48:40,540 --> 00:48:41,380 Hell no. 1337 00:48:41,380 --> 00:48:42,940 Real men embrace their flaws 1338 00:48:42,940 --> 00:48:45,380 rather than tanning or getting gannelsurgery 1339 00:48:45,380 --> 00:48:47,580 or plastic surgery or hair treatments. 1340 00:48:47,580 --> 00:48:49,300 Who cares if I only have one year? 1341 00:48:49,300 --> 00:48:51,980 Let's discuss this further back in my place. 1342 00:48:51,980 --> 00:48:54,420 According to the report, one convicted killer said 1343 00:48:54,420 --> 00:48:55,940 on his dating page quote, 1344 00:48:55,940 --> 00:48:57,580 "I can be a big kid at heart, 1345 00:48:57,580 --> 00:48:59,020 and I'm a hopeless romantics." 1346 00:48:59,020 --> 00:49:00,420 We salute this true man 1347 00:49:00,420 --> 00:49:02,980 because trying to get a little action while you're behind bars 1348 00:49:02,980 --> 00:49:05,020 with two weeks left to live and attack too 1349 00:49:05,020 --> 00:49:06,980 of a bloody skull on your forehead 1350 00:49:06,980 --> 00:49:09,700 is the definition of hopeless romantics. 1351 00:49:09,700 --> 00:49:11,060 This has been Lee Camp. 1352 00:49:11,060 --> 00:49:13,860 For more funny crap, check out LeeCamp.net 1353 00:49:13,860 --> 00:49:15,300 and sharkbaby.com. 1354 00:49:15,300 --> 00:49:16,980 (upbeat music) 1355 00:49:16,980 --> 00:49:19,980 A horribly awkward first sexual encounter was 1356 00:49:19,980 --> 00:49:22,820 worth the wait for a pair of Christian newlyweds. 1357 00:49:22,820 --> 00:49:24,300 It's the onion radio news. 1358 00:49:24,300 --> 00:49:26,620 This is Doyle Redland reporting. 1359 00:49:26,620 --> 00:49:29,420 John and Linda McQ, who were married last Sunday 1360 00:49:29,420 --> 00:49:31,780 before a friend's family and their lord, 1361 00:49:31,780 --> 00:49:34,020 said the incredibly awkward wedding night 1362 00:49:34,020 --> 00:49:36,220 consummation of their love was quote, 1363 00:49:36,220 --> 00:49:37,740 "Well, worth the wait." 1364 00:49:37,740 --> 00:49:39,540 Wife Linda had this to say. 1365 00:49:39,540 --> 00:49:43,260 "It was adorable beyond my wildest dreams toward the end. 1366 00:49:43,260 --> 00:49:45,540 I was almost relaxed enough to enjoy myself." 1367 00:49:45,540 --> 00:49:48,740 According to John, the encounter which just a few days ago 1368 00:49:48,740 --> 00:49:50,540 would have been an unforgivable sin 1369 00:49:50,540 --> 00:49:53,100 in the eyes of God was somewhat pleasurable 1370 00:49:53,100 --> 00:49:56,140 in an embarrassing and shameful sort of way. 1371 00:49:56,140 --> 00:49:58,780 Doyle Redland for the onion radio news online 1372 00:49:58,780 --> 00:50:00,700 at theunion.com. 1373 00:50:00,700 --> 00:50:04,500 Back to the dad's home podcast, but first, more dad jokes. 1374 00:50:04,500 --> 00:50:06,700 You know, a lot of people could serve it if people say 1375 00:50:06,700 --> 00:50:08,580 that gay people getting married, 1376 00:50:08,580 --> 00:50:10,700 it would violate the sanctity of marriage. 1377 00:50:10,700 --> 00:50:12,140 The sanctity of marriage. 1378 00:50:12,140 --> 00:50:13,260 Is anybody here married? 1379 00:50:13,260 --> 00:50:15,420 Yeah. 1380 00:50:15,420 --> 00:50:19,340 Does it feel like a gift from God to you? 1381 00:50:19,340 --> 00:50:20,420 (audience laughing) 1382 00:50:20,420 --> 00:50:22,260 Sanctity? 1383 00:50:22,260 --> 00:50:23,540 The sanctity of marriage. 1384 00:50:23,540 --> 00:50:25,380 First of all, what would Jesus do? 1385 00:50:25,380 --> 00:50:26,420 Not get married. 1386 00:50:26,420 --> 00:50:28,180 All right, that's the first thing. 1387 00:50:28,180 --> 00:50:29,420 That's lesson number one. 1388 00:50:29,420 --> 00:50:33,500 Because Jesus could have never accomplished 1389 00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:36,060 the things he had to accomplish if he had been married. 1390 00:50:36,060 --> 00:50:37,300 Let's face it. 1391 00:50:37,300 --> 00:50:39,060 How long are you gonna be up there? 1392 00:50:39,060 --> 00:50:39,900 You know what I mean? 1393 00:50:39,900 --> 00:50:42,900 (audience laughing) 1394 00:50:44,980 --> 00:50:47,860 Not only do I think gay people should be allowed to get married, 1395 00:50:47,860 --> 00:50:49,620 I think they should have to get married, 1396 00:50:49,620 --> 00:50:51,100 'cause I'm a little tired of their happy, 1397 00:50:51,100 --> 00:50:52,580 go lucky lifestyle. 1398 00:50:52,580 --> 00:50:53,820 (audience laughing) 1399 00:50:53,820 --> 00:50:57,140 They should have to suffer just like everybody else. 1400 00:50:57,140 --> 00:50:59,180 I'm tired of walking by these sidewalk cafes. 1401 00:50:59,180 --> 00:51:01,340 You see these dudes sitting there all tan and fit, 1402 00:51:01,340 --> 00:51:02,940 you know, some of these guys are 60 years old. 1403 00:51:02,940 --> 00:51:03,940 They still look great, 1404 00:51:03,940 --> 00:51:04,940 'cause they don't have someone at home 1405 00:51:04,940 --> 00:51:06,860 sucking the will to live right out of them. 1406 00:51:06,860 --> 00:51:09,860 (audience laughing) 1407 00:51:09,860 --> 00:51:11,740 (upbeat music) 1408 00:51:11,740 --> 00:51:14,260 We've all respect our wives, of course. 1409 00:51:14,260 --> 00:51:15,540 (upbeat music) 1410 00:51:15,540 --> 00:51:16,860 Great, great, Jorral though. 1411 00:51:16,860 --> 00:51:18,420 Here on the dad's home podcast. 1412 00:51:18,420 --> 00:51:20,260 All right, Mr. Chatter, 1413 00:51:20,260 --> 00:51:22,700 you ready to make a decision on the best parenting 1414 00:51:22,700 --> 00:51:23,980 tweet of the week? 1415 00:51:23,980 --> 00:51:25,780 I'm ready to make the decision on the best friend. 1416 00:51:25,780 --> 00:51:27,460 But first we gotta see the three 1417 00:51:27,460 --> 00:51:29,180 that are up for nomination here. 1418 00:51:29,180 --> 00:51:30,380 So without further ado. 1419 00:51:30,380 --> 00:51:32,180 We're all, let's get through. 1420 00:51:32,180 --> 00:51:33,780 Let's get through this and get to number one. 1421 00:51:33,780 --> 00:51:35,340 Tweet number one. 1422 00:51:35,340 --> 00:51:37,020 Above 'em. 1423 00:51:37,020 --> 00:51:39,580 Four-year-old is requesting that I have more children, 1424 00:51:39,580 --> 00:51:40,940 five more children would be specific 1425 00:51:40,940 --> 00:51:42,220 so she can fight them. 1426 00:51:43,500 --> 00:51:45,980 Or they wanna create their own UFC? 1427 00:51:45,980 --> 00:51:46,820 What's wrong with that? 1428 00:51:46,820 --> 00:51:49,620 - Man, all in the family. 1429 00:51:49,620 --> 00:51:52,660 - My wife, tomorrow behind the scenes here on the shooting, 1430 00:51:52,660 --> 00:51:54,820 the video and the podcast here, 1431 00:51:54,820 --> 00:51:56,420 tomorrow is Martin Luther King Day. 1432 00:51:56,420 --> 00:51:59,260 And my wife said, tomorrow while Martin Luther King 1433 00:51:59,260 --> 00:52:02,340 was dreaming of peace, our girls are gonna kill each other 1434 00:52:02,340 --> 00:52:03,340 'cause they're off from school. 1435 00:52:03,340 --> 00:52:04,340 So. 1436 00:52:04,340 --> 00:52:05,380 (laughing) 1437 00:52:05,380 --> 00:52:06,980 Sounds about right? 1438 00:52:06,980 --> 00:52:08,620 Seems like, I mean, try and sketch it. 1439 00:52:08,620 --> 00:52:09,460 - Math. 1440 00:52:09,460 --> 00:52:10,620 - The math checks out. 1441 00:52:10,620 --> 00:52:12,300 - Yeah, fits in there with the calendar. 1442 00:52:12,300 --> 00:52:13,780 All right, Tweet number two. 1443 00:52:13,780 --> 00:52:16,460 Cleaning your kids room will piss you off 1444 00:52:16,460 --> 00:52:18,420 'cause why is my air fryer in here? 1445 00:52:18,420 --> 00:52:20,460 (laughing) 1446 00:52:20,460 --> 00:52:25,100 You found in there your air fryer's in your kids room. 1447 00:52:25,100 --> 00:52:27,820 - And there, I have been there. 1448 00:52:27,820 --> 00:52:29,500 - Yeah, yeah. 1449 00:52:29,500 --> 00:52:32,660 You'll find the strangest shit there, 1450 00:52:32,660 --> 00:52:36,220 the stuff that they, you know, your air fryer, 1451 00:52:36,220 --> 00:52:38,940 your vape pin, it's the weirdest things. 1452 00:52:38,940 --> 00:52:41,620 - Fine, your kids room. 1453 00:52:41,620 --> 00:52:45,020 - Yeah, my set of Alan wrenches. 1454 00:52:45,020 --> 00:52:45,860 - Is that right? 1455 00:52:45,860 --> 00:52:46,700 Your Alan wrenches? 1456 00:52:46,700 --> 00:52:47,860 - You shit. 1457 00:52:47,860 --> 00:52:49,020 And my kids room. 1458 00:52:49,020 --> 00:52:50,500 - That is fantastic. 1459 00:52:50,500 --> 00:52:51,340 Oh, that is good time. 1460 00:52:51,340 --> 00:52:54,020 - At some point I was like, where the fuck did those go? 1461 00:52:54,020 --> 00:52:55,340 How did I lose those? 1462 00:52:55,340 --> 00:52:57,900 - And frankly, I came down like a week after I needed a mo. 1463 00:52:57,900 --> 00:52:58,900 Yeah, you got it. 1464 00:52:58,900 --> 00:53:00,220 - And frankly, the fact that you have them, 1465 00:53:00,220 --> 00:53:02,340 now go around and tighten all the chairs up in the house. 1466 00:53:02,340 --> 00:53:03,380 Let's get everything rolling here. 1467 00:53:03,380 --> 00:53:04,220 We'll be fantastic. 1468 00:53:04,220 --> 00:53:05,060 - That's fantastic. 1469 00:53:05,060 --> 00:53:05,900 - You got it. 1470 00:53:05,900 --> 00:53:06,900 - If you're, now I'm ready to roll. 1471 00:53:06,900 --> 00:53:08,060 - You're captain Alan wrench now. 1472 00:53:08,060 --> 00:53:09,940 You should be tightening up everything around the house. 1473 00:53:09,940 --> 00:53:10,780 Get out of kid. 1474 00:53:11,660 --> 00:53:13,220 - It's Admiral Alan wrench. 1475 00:53:13,220 --> 00:53:14,220 Come on, let's do real. 1476 00:53:14,220 --> 00:53:15,980 - I'm sorry, you're right. 1477 00:53:15,980 --> 00:53:16,940 When you have the Alan wrenches, 1478 00:53:16,940 --> 00:53:18,100 you deserve more credit. 1479 00:53:18,100 --> 00:53:18,940 Here we go. 1480 00:53:18,940 --> 00:53:19,780 Number three. 1481 00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:21,700 My husband went out with friends last night, 1482 00:53:21,700 --> 00:53:23,460 so I introduced the kids to Ace Ventura 1483 00:53:23,460 --> 00:53:26,180 and now they keep addressing him from their butts 1484 00:53:26,180 --> 00:53:28,860 and he'll think twice about leaving me alone with them. 1485 00:53:28,860 --> 00:53:32,820 - All right, so we just, 1486 00:53:32,820 --> 00:53:35,540 hey, switch, switch husband with wife. 1487 00:53:35,540 --> 00:53:39,620 And that is my best Saturday afternoon evening. 1488 00:53:39,620 --> 00:53:40,460 Right? 1489 00:53:40,460 --> 00:53:41,300 So what do we got? 1490 00:53:41,300 --> 00:53:42,820 We got tweet number one. 1491 00:53:42,820 --> 00:53:44,740 Four year old requesting I have more children 1492 00:53:44,740 --> 00:53:46,340 so they can fight tweet number two, 1493 00:53:46,340 --> 00:53:48,020 cleaning the room, finding the air fryer, 1494 00:53:48,020 --> 00:53:51,140 or tweet number three, Ace Ventura kids talking out of there, 1495 00:53:51,140 --> 00:53:55,140 but which one do you say is the best parenting tweet of the week? 1496 00:53:55,140 --> 00:53:56,940 - I got to go with number three. 1497 00:53:56,940 --> 00:53:59,820 The one out with friends and I introduced my kids 1498 00:53:59,820 --> 00:54:01,060 to Ace Ventura. 1499 00:54:01,060 --> 00:54:02,060 - I think that's it. 1500 00:54:02,060 --> 00:54:03,340 - Anstown winner. 1501 00:54:03,340 --> 00:54:04,820 - I like the fighting one. 1502 00:54:04,820 --> 00:54:05,660 I do. 1503 00:54:05,660 --> 00:54:06,500 I think that's a good one. 1504 00:54:06,500 --> 00:54:08,180 And I think that's a good center for-- 1505 00:54:08,180 --> 00:54:09,020 - All three. 1506 00:54:09,020 --> 00:54:12,660 - But in talking last week as we did about how we, 1507 00:54:12,660 --> 00:54:14,700 you know, the things that we're definitively introducing 1508 00:54:14,700 --> 00:54:17,500 our children to, I think Ace Ventura is fantastic 1509 00:54:17,500 --> 00:54:19,420 to introduce your kids to if you haven't done so yet. 1510 00:54:19,420 --> 00:54:21,100 Now, I will say, I don't know about you, 1511 00:54:21,100 --> 00:54:24,660 but both of my daughters, less so my youngest, 1512 00:54:24,660 --> 00:54:27,180 my oldest is definitely afraid of Jim Carrey. 1513 00:54:27,180 --> 00:54:29,820 (laughing) 1514 00:54:29,820 --> 00:54:31,820 She thinks his face is too weird. 1515 00:54:31,820 --> 00:54:35,660 He thinks all of the facial things that he does is weird. 1516 00:54:35,660 --> 00:54:38,700 Keep in mind, she only remembers seeing him starting 1517 00:54:38,700 --> 00:54:40,380 in the Sonic the Hedgehog movies 1518 00:54:40,380 --> 00:54:43,160 and then working backwards and seeing some of the 1519 00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:45,540 Ace Ventura stuff and then you know what I mean? 1520 00:54:45,540 --> 00:54:47,860 So it's the Grinch. 1521 00:54:47,860 --> 00:54:48,700 - The Grinch, yeah. 1522 00:54:48,700 --> 00:54:50,380 - Yeah, her first one is the Grinch 1523 00:54:50,380 --> 00:54:52,460 and when she realized it was the Grinch, 1524 00:54:52,460 --> 00:54:53,780 the Grinch and when she was like, 1525 00:54:53,780 --> 00:54:55,140 I can take the Grinch, 1526 00:54:55,140 --> 00:54:57,900 but Jim Carrey with a makeup off, fuck that. 1527 00:54:57,900 --> 00:54:59,060 That's some scary stuff. 1528 00:54:59,060 --> 00:55:00,740 (laughing) 1529 00:55:00,740 --> 00:55:02,340 So Jim Carrey is-- 1530 00:55:02,340 --> 00:55:06,500 - And how poignant was it me talking about 1531 00:55:06,500 --> 00:55:07,740 Fire Martial Bill? 1532 00:55:07,740 --> 00:55:10,340 - Yes, it worked out perfectly. 1533 00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:11,820 Now, my 10 year olds, sorry. 1534 00:55:11,820 --> 00:55:13,860 - It's called Call Back folks. 1535 00:55:13,860 --> 00:55:14,700 - Very good. 1536 00:55:14,700 --> 00:55:15,500 - My 10 year olds, 1537 00:55:15,500 --> 00:55:17,020 finally Jim Carrey, she loves him in Sonic 1538 00:55:17,020 --> 00:55:20,340 and I think if I introduced her to the World of Ace Ventura 1539 00:55:20,340 --> 00:55:22,900 pet detective, I just got to get past the tuck portion 1540 00:55:22,900 --> 00:55:24,100 of things from Ace Ventura. 1541 00:55:24,100 --> 00:55:25,340 - Yeah, in order to make that forward. 1542 00:55:25,340 --> 00:55:26,340 - Fast forward through that. 1543 00:55:26,340 --> 00:55:28,340 - Yeah, but nonetheless, I think a great move 1544 00:55:28,340 --> 00:55:29,940 by parents to let their kids, 1545 00:55:29,940 --> 00:55:31,700 again, she didn't give the age, 1546 00:55:31,700 --> 00:55:32,860 doesn't give the ages here, 1547 00:55:32,860 --> 00:55:34,820 but the fact that the kids keep talking out of their butt 1548 00:55:34,820 --> 00:55:35,900 when the parent comes back, 1549 00:55:35,900 --> 00:55:38,020 A, introduced them to a great film, 1550 00:55:38,020 --> 00:55:39,500 B, the fact that they mimic that 1551 00:55:39,500 --> 00:55:41,140 and are old enough to do that talking out of the butt 1552 00:55:41,140 --> 00:55:43,860 and get that part, I give that parent thumbs up here. 1553 00:55:43,860 --> 00:55:45,500 So huge victory for her. 1554 00:55:45,500 --> 00:55:47,780 Congratulations, little bit, little bit. 1555 00:55:47,780 --> 00:55:50,060 All right, now Mr. Tatch, time to move on 1556 00:55:50,060 --> 00:55:51,100 to the worst of the worst. 1557 00:55:51,100 --> 00:55:54,420 - It's what I live for. 1558 00:55:54,420 --> 00:55:55,260 - It's what I live for. 1559 00:55:55,260 --> 00:55:56,100 - It's what I live for. 1560 00:55:56,100 --> 00:55:56,940 - We all week. 1561 00:55:56,940 --> 00:55:57,940 - Yeah. 1562 00:55:57,940 --> 00:56:00,660 And as we prepare for the worst parents tournament, 1563 00:56:00,660 --> 00:56:02,380 which will be coming up right around the same time 1564 00:56:02,380 --> 00:56:04,980 that the NCAA basketball tournament happens 1565 00:56:04,980 --> 00:56:06,300 the brackets that go there, 1566 00:56:06,300 --> 00:56:08,420 we still need to make entries into that, right? 1567 00:56:08,420 --> 00:56:11,140 We need to make sure we've got enough parents that compete. 1568 00:56:11,140 --> 00:56:12,900 - Parents have to fight for their right 1569 00:56:12,900 --> 00:56:14,580 to be the worst parent. 1570 00:56:14,580 --> 00:56:15,420 - What you said. 1571 00:56:15,420 --> 00:56:19,780 So we've got three new stories that came to us 1572 00:56:19,780 --> 00:56:22,580 in regards to bad parents this week. 1573 00:56:22,580 --> 00:56:24,580 Now, I don't know if they all came from this week, 1574 00:56:24,580 --> 00:56:25,620 they could be years old, I don't know, 1575 00:56:25,620 --> 00:56:28,820 but in any case, the stories are here for us this week 1576 00:56:28,820 --> 00:56:30,340 to address on Dad's home. 1577 00:56:30,340 --> 00:56:33,780 We'll start with the parent who punches out the principal 1578 00:56:33,780 --> 00:56:34,620 to basketball game. 1579 00:56:34,620 --> 00:56:36,660 The parent hit the principal. 1580 00:56:36,660 --> 00:56:38,340 She's knocked to the ground. 1581 00:56:38,340 --> 00:56:41,820 The police say she noticed young children walking onto the court 1582 00:56:41,820 --> 00:56:43,260 while the game was being played. 1583 00:56:43,260 --> 00:56:46,540 - Okay, keep in mind, the principal noticed 1584 00:56:46,540 --> 00:56:49,580 that young children were on the court during the basketball game 1585 00:56:49,580 --> 00:56:53,020 so the principal decided that's not safe, right? 1586 00:56:53,020 --> 00:56:55,380 You got to get basketball game where these kids can get trampled. 1587 00:56:55,380 --> 00:56:57,100 - You can see the principal getting up 1588 00:56:57,100 --> 00:56:59,420 so the little kids didn't get hurt. 1589 00:56:59,420 --> 00:57:03,900 At least two times she pulls the kids back while the game is in play. 1590 00:57:03,900 --> 00:57:07,180 At some point, Plackerman police chief Stephen Angolio says 1591 00:57:07,180 --> 00:57:11,340 words were exchanged and the mom was having none of it. 1592 00:57:11,340 --> 00:57:12,860 - The principal sitting in a chair, 1593 00:57:12,860 --> 00:57:18,860 the lady walking by with three kids until and one of her friends. 1594 00:57:18,860 --> 00:57:21,660 And the principal asked her, you know, 1595 00:57:21,660 --> 00:57:24,860 they keep keeping kids off the basketball court 1596 00:57:24,860 --> 00:57:27,660 disrupt the whole game. 1597 00:57:27,660 --> 00:57:30,060 She obviously took offense with that 1598 00:57:30,060 --> 00:57:33,020 and she, you see her moving on the teacher, 1599 00:57:33,020 --> 00:57:35,420 she put her hand up, kind of keep her off 1600 00:57:35,420 --> 00:57:37,500 and she just punched her and I grabbed the chair. 1601 00:57:37,500 --> 00:57:39,980 - Now that's not gonna go over well for the parents of the kids. 1602 00:57:39,980 --> 00:57:41,500 I don't think, I don't think that's gonna get you 1603 00:57:41,500 --> 00:57:43,260 an automatic A in the classroom. 1604 00:57:43,260 --> 00:57:46,300 But more importantly, do you see how she's holding, 1605 00:57:46,300 --> 00:57:47,260 let me just bring this back up. 1606 00:57:47,260 --> 00:57:50,140 Do you see how she's holding the toddler? 1607 00:57:50,140 --> 00:57:52,140 While she's doing this? 1608 00:57:52,140 --> 00:57:53,340 - She's putting this in the, 1609 00:57:53,340 --> 00:57:57,500 - Look at this, once again, she's holding the toddler in her hand 1610 00:57:57,500 --> 00:58:00,300 while she slaps the principal. 1611 00:58:00,300 --> 00:58:01,740 - She's Jim obtained by the deputy. 1612 00:58:01,740 --> 00:58:03,260 - Hold on, hold on, let me just bring this up. 1613 00:58:03,260 --> 00:58:04,780 Go back, it's a quick second. 1614 00:58:04,780 --> 00:58:06,780 Toddler is in the pan. 1615 00:58:06,780 --> 00:58:09,100 - And she's holding the hand of another kid. 1616 00:58:09,100 --> 00:58:11,820 - The babies in her hand, the toddler is being held by her hand. 1617 00:58:11,820 --> 00:58:13,900 She's got both of them, she releases the toddler 1618 00:58:13,900 --> 00:58:15,100 to smack the principal. 1619 00:58:15,100 --> 00:58:16,380 - The parent hit the principal. 1620 00:58:16,380 --> 00:58:17,980 - Oh! 1621 00:58:17,980 --> 00:58:23,740 - All right, again, the principal just and as athlete dads, 1622 00:58:23,740 --> 00:58:26,060 we've talked about this before, you know, 1623 00:58:26,060 --> 00:58:28,860 the safety on the game for the, for kids around, 1624 00:58:28,860 --> 00:58:31,820 as well as the people, fans, parents that are watching, 1625 00:58:31,820 --> 00:58:35,260 empires, everybody involved, safety is absolutely over important. 1626 00:58:35,260 --> 00:58:37,100 You had kids that were just walking out of the court. 1627 00:58:37,100 --> 00:58:39,100 I don't know if mom was checking her phone or what she's doing. 1628 00:58:39,100 --> 00:58:40,700 She had two kids clearly overwhelmed, 1629 00:58:40,700 --> 00:58:43,260 but that doesn't give you the right to go and smack a principal 1630 00:58:43,260 --> 00:58:44,540 who's trying to protect your kid. 1631 00:58:44,540 --> 00:58:50,540 I mean, come on. 1632 00:58:50,540 --> 00:58:51,500 What are we doing here? 1633 00:58:51,500 --> 00:58:55,580 - This is, we're being terrible humans is really... 1634 00:58:55,580 --> 00:58:57,340 - We're making people make people... 1635 00:58:57,340 --> 00:58:59,260 - Oh, that can be, I'm it. 1636 00:58:59,260 --> 00:59:00,100 - Right? 1637 00:59:00,100 --> 00:59:01,180 - Oh, shut the fuck up! 1638 00:59:01,180 --> 00:59:02,780 - That's what I say. 1639 00:59:02,780 --> 00:59:03,660 That's what I say. 1640 00:59:03,660 --> 00:59:04,780 - Yeah! 1641 00:59:04,780 --> 00:59:06,220 All right, now here's the second one 1642 00:59:06,220 --> 00:59:08,580 that I kind of got to kick out of and laugh out of it 1643 00:59:08,580 --> 00:59:10,140 at the same time. 1644 00:59:10,140 --> 00:59:13,180 You tortured the shit out of your kids here. 1645 00:59:13,180 --> 00:59:14,180 - Who did that? 1646 00:59:14,180 --> 00:59:15,980 - I did do that! 1647 00:59:15,980 --> 00:59:20,420 - Harmless prank or outrageous abuse of their kids. 1648 00:59:20,420 --> 00:59:22,580 The video starts with a Maryland mother 1649 00:59:22,580 --> 00:59:25,340 holding a bottle of magic disappearing ink. 1650 00:59:25,340 --> 00:59:29,540 I'm gonna squirt it all over his carpet and start flipping out. 1651 00:59:29,540 --> 00:59:31,220 - That's exactly what you got. 1652 00:59:31,220 --> 00:59:32,060 - That's a great prank. 1653 00:59:32,060 --> 00:59:32,900 - That's a great prank. 1654 00:59:32,900 --> 00:59:34,140 - For her 10 year old son, Cody. 1655 00:59:34,140 --> 00:59:35,740 - What the fuck? 1656 00:59:35,740 --> 00:59:37,340 - You did do that! 1657 00:59:37,340 --> 00:59:38,540 - I love you, dad! 1658 00:59:38,540 --> 00:59:40,180 - Oh my God! 1659 00:59:40,180 --> 00:59:42,860 - A mother's son is suddenly dragging into it. 1660 00:59:42,860 --> 00:59:44,180 - And then they bring the other kid in. 1661 00:59:44,180 --> 00:59:45,180 - You got pierced in? 1662 00:59:45,180 --> 00:59:46,020 - No! 1663 00:59:46,020 --> 00:59:47,180 - You got pierced in? 1664 00:59:47,180 --> 00:59:48,940 - You broke dinner! 1665 00:59:48,940 --> 00:59:50,300 - Both youngsters burst. 1666 00:59:50,300 --> 00:59:53,420 - Now keep in mind, I don't know who the other kids are behind them 1667 00:59:53,420 --> 00:59:55,940 'cause these are two poor kids that are standing in the chair 1668 00:59:55,940 --> 00:59:58,380 going, "I didn't do this, I don't know where this came from." 1669 00:59:58,380 --> 01:00:00,620 And the parents know full well that they've done 1670 01:00:00,620 --> 01:00:01,740 this is a prank on their kids. 1671 01:00:01,740 --> 01:00:03,420 But there's two other kids in the background 1672 01:00:03,420 --> 01:00:04,940 that could very well be their friends. 1673 01:00:04,940 --> 01:00:09,700 What awkward place does that put those kids in the top of it? 1674 01:00:09,700 --> 01:00:12,260 - Oh, my mom just called me home for dinner. 1675 01:00:12,260 --> 01:00:14,020 - You come home crying. 1676 01:00:14,020 --> 01:00:16,540 - God, because Cody was getting in trouble for shit 1677 01:00:16,540 --> 01:00:17,740 that he didn't end up doing, 1678 01:00:17,740 --> 01:00:19,980 that mom was just playing a prank on. 1679 01:00:19,980 --> 01:00:21,460 And this goes a little far. 1680 01:00:21,460 --> 01:00:23,380 - To tears, there's shelter. 1681 01:00:23,380 --> 01:00:24,820 - To be so falsely. 1682 01:00:24,820 --> 01:00:27,300 - You get these kids crying, they're fucking, 1683 01:00:27,300 --> 01:00:30,180 this is fair, you just, you assured yourself. 1684 01:00:30,180 --> 01:00:32,140 If you weren't sure before. 1685 01:00:32,140 --> 01:00:33,820 However all these kids are, I'm gonna look at them, 1686 01:00:33,820 --> 01:00:36,860 they're probably like close to seven, eight, nine years old. 1687 01:00:36,860 --> 01:00:39,740 You just assured yourself that you're going to have therapy bills 1688 01:00:39,740 --> 01:00:41,180 coming up here. 1689 01:00:41,180 --> 01:00:42,020 - A hundred percent. 1690 01:00:42,020 --> 01:00:44,260 - Not only that, yeah, but this is that. 1691 01:00:44,260 --> 01:00:47,260 This is one of these moments that will stick in that kid's mind 1692 01:00:47,260 --> 01:00:48,340 the rest of his life. 1693 01:00:48,340 --> 01:00:51,660 So he's gonna be a pain in the ass the rest of the way. 1694 01:00:51,660 --> 01:00:55,660 - Used only after three minutes of torment to the parent. 1695 01:00:55,660 --> 01:00:58,800 And then, by the way, they're standing in front, 1696 01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:00,740 pointing directly at them. 1697 01:01:00,740 --> 01:01:03,540 - Yo, you know, you did this and you should have, 1698 01:01:03,540 --> 01:01:05,500 oh my God, these poor kids. 1699 01:01:05,500 --> 01:01:06,660 This is not a prank anymore. 1700 01:01:06,660 --> 01:01:09,580 This is not a, ha ha, we had eggs falling your head 1701 01:01:09,580 --> 01:01:11,300 when you walk through the door. 1702 01:01:11,300 --> 01:01:13,700 - Straight up torture, mental torture. 1703 01:01:13,700 --> 01:01:14,700 - This is torture. 1704 01:01:14,700 --> 01:01:15,540 - This is finally revealed. 1705 01:01:15,540 --> 01:01:16,540 - This is fucking terrible. 1706 01:01:16,540 --> 01:01:17,540 - A prank. 1707 01:01:17,540 --> 01:01:19,380 - We got you, boom. 1708 01:01:19,380 --> 01:01:22,300 - You were a person bystander. 1709 01:01:22,300 --> 01:01:23,820 - Yeah. 1710 01:01:23,820 --> 01:01:25,980 You just got owned. 1711 01:01:25,980 --> 01:01:27,540 - Wow, what assholes. 1712 01:01:27,540 --> 01:01:31,420 These parents are, okay, so that's video number two. 1713 01:01:31,420 --> 01:01:34,260 Now, so far you're saying yourself Chad, 1714 01:01:34,260 --> 01:01:36,260 'cause I can hear it in your head. 1715 01:01:36,260 --> 01:01:38,020 Telepathically, we're on the same page. 1716 01:01:38,020 --> 01:01:39,220 What could be worse than that? 1717 01:01:39,220 --> 01:01:41,100 Let me introduce you. 1718 01:01:41,100 --> 01:01:42,100 - But wait. 1719 01:01:42,100 --> 01:01:43,020 - But wait, there's more. 1720 01:01:43,020 --> 01:01:45,860 Let me introduce you to news story number three. 1721 01:01:45,860 --> 01:01:46,700 - Jesus. 1722 01:01:46,700 --> 01:01:49,700 - The video that caught our attention, a tattoo artist 1723 01:01:49,700 --> 01:01:51,900 giving a tattoo to a nine year old girl 1724 01:01:51,900 --> 01:01:54,620 posted on Instagram by the artist himself. 1725 01:01:54,620 --> 01:01:57,820 It happened at Black Onyx Empire, Chad 2 and Yuma 1726 01:01:57,820 --> 01:02:01,060 and it was actually the second time the young girl came here. 1727 01:02:01,060 --> 01:02:03,460 The Instagram video states her parents, boom. 1728 01:02:03,460 --> 01:02:06,820 - Soak that in for a second, she's nine. 1729 01:02:06,820 --> 01:02:09,420 It's the second time she's been to the tattoo parlor. 1730 01:02:09,420 --> 01:02:11,900 Settle, let it settle. 1731 01:02:11,900 --> 01:02:13,980 - Brought her here from out of state, 1732 01:02:13,980 --> 01:02:16,060 wanting a tattoo showing Donald Trump 1733 01:02:16,060 --> 01:02:17,500 on the girl's neck. 1734 01:02:17,500 --> 01:02:19,100 According to Arizona law, 1735 01:02:19,100 --> 01:02:21,220 it's legal to do this to a minor 1736 01:02:21,220 --> 01:02:22,660 with the parents' permission. 1737 01:02:22,660 --> 01:02:23,500 - Okay. 1738 01:02:23,500 --> 01:02:28,380 I would make the argument not the classiest thing to do. 1739 01:02:28,380 --> 01:02:32,740 However, you feel about neck tattoos, I understand, 1740 01:02:32,740 --> 01:02:35,700 and there are plenty of people who think that they are amazing. 1741 01:02:35,700 --> 01:02:40,700 I feel like your nine year old daughter, 1742 01:02:40,700 --> 01:02:43,620 even if she, at nine years old, 1743 01:02:44,500 --> 01:02:46,180 is she a fan of blueie still? 1744 01:02:46,180 --> 01:02:48,380 Why is she getting a Trump tattoo on her neck? 1745 01:02:48,380 --> 01:02:50,620 Like I can't believe that she's asked, 1746 01:02:50,620 --> 01:02:51,460 I'm not saying it's true. 1747 01:02:51,460 --> 01:02:54,580 If it was a Biden tattoo, I'd be just as concerned. 1748 01:02:54,580 --> 01:02:56,220 I feel like, what are you doing? 1749 01:02:56,220 --> 01:02:58,300 Why are you allowing this to happen? 1750 01:02:58,300 --> 01:03:03,060 And who knows at nine years old? 1751 01:03:03,060 --> 01:03:04,700 Like what is your kids like at nine? 1752 01:03:04,700 --> 01:03:07,540 You're like, let's permanently affix that to your body. 1753 01:03:07,540 --> 01:03:08,540 Let's do that. 1754 01:03:08,540 --> 01:03:12,060 I can't, there's nothing right? 1755 01:03:13,220 --> 01:03:14,060 What? 1756 01:03:14,060 --> 01:03:17,740 And who's the artist, the general case this? 1757 01:03:17,740 --> 01:03:18,820 Who's the tattoo artist? 1758 01:03:18,820 --> 01:03:20,220 It's like, I don't want it. 1759 01:03:20,220 --> 01:03:22,500 Yeah, your money's good here, your money spends. 1760 01:03:22,500 --> 01:03:24,380 - Forget about, let's get this ink done. 1761 01:03:24,380 --> 01:03:26,780 Let's put this shit on that kid's neck. 1762 01:03:26,780 --> 01:03:29,820 Let's put that shit on the kid's neck. 1763 01:03:29,820 --> 01:03:32,980 - It is one of the most frustrating things 1764 01:03:32,980 --> 01:03:35,260 about our career field, 1765 01:03:35,260 --> 01:03:38,620 and you're in Arizona, which has no regulations. 1766 01:03:38,620 --> 01:03:41,580 - Ben Shaw, the Alliance of Professional Tattooist says, 1767 01:03:41,580 --> 01:03:44,140 Arizona is one of the least regulated states 1768 01:03:44,140 --> 01:03:47,980 for tattoo artists where no license is required to practice. 1769 01:03:47,980 --> 01:03:49,940 - Oh, Jesus. 1770 01:03:49,940 --> 01:03:51,460 Hold on a second. 1771 01:03:51,460 --> 01:03:54,020 You don't even have to have, like it's one thing to say, 1772 01:03:54,020 --> 01:03:56,180 my nine year old got a tattoo on her neck, 1773 01:03:56,180 --> 01:03:59,700 but you don't have to be licensed to be able to do that? 1774 01:03:59,700 --> 01:04:03,060 No, so you can just grab any old meth head 1775 01:04:03,060 --> 01:04:07,460 from there, you know, you ma, fucking you ma. 1776 01:04:07,460 --> 01:04:08,300 - Oh, what? 1777 01:04:08,300 --> 01:04:09,300 You don't even need to be a liar. 1778 01:04:09,300 --> 01:04:10,780 - Put it, put it, put it, you know, 1779 01:04:10,780 --> 01:04:12,340 put a tattoo gun on the guy's thing and say, 1780 01:04:12,340 --> 01:04:13,660 hey, it's my kid, keep put it, 1781 01:04:13,660 --> 01:04:16,220 talk to you on him, I'll pay you a 50 bucks. 1782 01:04:16,220 --> 01:04:19,460 He's thinking, I'm a meth head, 50 bucks is a lot of money. 1783 01:04:19,460 --> 01:04:20,300 That's good. 1784 01:04:20,300 --> 01:04:21,140 - If you ain't gonna do it, 1785 01:04:21,140 --> 01:04:22,540 I'm just gonna drop her off at the prison, 1786 01:04:22,540 --> 01:04:24,500 let them do it there. 1787 01:04:24,500 --> 01:04:25,780 That's all I'm gonna do. 1788 01:04:25,780 --> 01:04:26,620 That's all I'm gonna do. 1789 01:04:26,620 --> 01:04:29,060 - You get 50 bucks so you can go buy your meth here. 1790 01:04:29,060 --> 01:04:31,220 - Oh, fuck it. 1791 01:04:31,220 --> 01:04:32,220 - Hey people. 1792 01:04:32,220 --> 01:04:33,940 - Take, oh my God. 1793 01:04:33,940 --> 01:04:37,420 - That something is legal doesn't mean it's ethical. 1794 01:04:37,420 --> 01:04:39,540 - If you think, see a 10 year old child 1795 01:04:39,540 --> 01:04:41,500 with a professional looking tattoo 1796 01:04:41,500 --> 01:04:43,460 and they said they got it at a tattoo shop 1797 01:04:43,460 --> 01:04:46,420 and kind of degrades a whole. 1798 01:04:46,420 --> 01:04:47,260 - You think? 1799 01:04:47,260 --> 01:04:48,140 - Tattoo on someone this young 1800 01:04:48,140 --> 01:04:50,540 doesn't sit well with everyone we spoke to. 1801 01:04:50,540 --> 01:04:51,380 - No way. 1802 01:04:51,380 --> 01:04:54,180 No, no, that's crazy. 1803 01:04:54,180 --> 01:04:58,100 - I wouldn't let my daughter underage get any tattoo. 1804 01:04:58,100 --> 01:05:00,140 - No, no, what? 1805 01:05:00,140 --> 01:05:00,980 Who? 1806 01:05:00,980 --> 01:05:01,820 - No. 1807 01:05:01,820 --> 01:05:04,300 - Actually, I really would love one of these interviews 1808 01:05:04,300 --> 01:05:06,580 that they, you know, man about sound with a mic. 1809 01:05:06,580 --> 01:05:08,460 What do you think about kids getting tattooed? 1810 01:05:08,460 --> 01:05:10,740 They just happen across the one A hole who's like, 1811 01:05:10,740 --> 01:05:11,780 oh, that's a fucking great idea. 1812 01:05:11,780 --> 01:05:12,620 What are you talking about? 1813 01:05:12,620 --> 01:05:17,020 - Dude, I got a new born that's in Neku. 1814 01:05:17,020 --> 01:05:18,820 But as soon as that fucker gets out, 1815 01:05:18,820 --> 01:05:20,460 we're getting one of these tattoos, right? 1816 01:05:20,460 --> 01:05:22,460 - We're telling his ass up. 1817 01:05:22,460 --> 01:05:23,740 - Should wait a while. 1818 01:05:23,740 --> 01:05:24,580 - Mean while. 1819 01:05:24,580 --> 01:05:26,940 - Should wait a while she's nine. 1820 01:05:26,940 --> 01:05:30,020 How about another at least solids of 10 years? 1821 01:05:30,020 --> 01:05:31,140 - Nine years, nine years. 1822 01:05:31,140 --> 01:05:32,140 - Nine years of age. 1823 01:05:32,140 --> 01:05:33,140 - Nine years of age. 1824 01:05:33,140 --> 01:05:34,580 - This mom of three says, 1825 01:05:34,580 --> 01:05:38,500 "I think if you let your teenagers do what they want, 1826 01:05:38,500 --> 01:05:40,740 let's slow it down on a quicker." 1827 01:05:40,740 --> 01:05:42,180 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1828 01:05:42,180 --> 01:05:43,420 She's nine. 1829 01:05:43,420 --> 01:05:47,620 - Hey, hey, here's my, here's my, my, my, Huckleberry. 1830 01:05:47,620 --> 01:05:50,620 She is, she is advocating nine year old tattoos. 1831 01:05:50,620 --> 01:05:53,180 If you give a kid a tattoo at nine, 1832 01:05:53,180 --> 01:05:55,940 they'll have less tattoos by the time they're 18. 1833 01:05:55,940 --> 01:05:58,340 - Right, that's how, yeah, you're, you, they'll have had 1834 01:05:58,340 --> 01:05:59,180 - Slow down on it. 1835 01:05:59,180 --> 01:06:01,540 - They'll be like, hey, hey, no, you know, 1836 01:06:01,540 --> 01:06:04,780 I got this wonderful work of arc right here on my, 1837 01:06:04,780 --> 01:06:07,100 on my jugular, I got that done when I was nine. 1838 01:06:07,100 --> 01:06:08,460 I don't need to have anything more. 1839 01:06:08,460 --> 01:06:10,420 I don't need that dragon on my back anymore. 1840 01:06:10,420 --> 01:06:11,660 I'm good. 1841 01:06:11,660 --> 01:06:14,140 - If you tell them I can't, they're gonna find a way. 1842 01:06:14,140 --> 01:06:15,820 - She's nine. 1843 01:06:15,820 --> 01:06:18,380 If you tell her you can't, 1844 01:06:18,380 --> 01:06:20,300 you can, are, are you gonna tell your nine year old? 1845 01:06:20,300 --> 01:06:22,180 Hey, you know, that chocolate cake, 1846 01:06:22,180 --> 01:06:24,180 that piece of chocolate cake you can't have a second piece 1847 01:06:24,180 --> 01:06:26,620 'cause that's, you're gonna be on a sugar high 1848 01:06:26,620 --> 01:06:28,340 and you also could be diabetic. 1849 01:06:28,340 --> 01:06:30,580 So we're gonna keep the, just one piece of chocolate cake, 1850 01:06:30,580 --> 01:06:32,340 can't have chocolate cake every night of the week, kid. 1851 01:06:32,340 --> 01:06:33,180 Can't do that. 1852 01:06:33,180 --> 01:06:36,140 Oh no, but a tattoo on her fucking net go for it 1853 01:06:36,140 --> 01:06:37,780 every single day of the week. 1854 01:06:37,780 --> 01:06:39,420 - I'm gonna do it three times, the tattoo. 1855 01:06:39,420 --> 01:06:40,260 - Oh, good God. 1856 01:06:40,260 --> 01:06:42,740 - Ah, she is. 1857 01:06:42,740 --> 01:06:45,620 Speaking of meth, that woman right there, 1858 01:06:45,620 --> 01:06:48,740 may, may have shown signs. 1859 01:06:48,740 --> 01:06:49,780 - Not sure. 1860 01:06:49,780 --> 01:06:52,340 - No, I would say that, look, 1861 01:06:52,340 --> 01:06:53,660 people come on. 1862 01:06:53,660 --> 01:06:56,780 - Egg, if tattooers about named, 1863 01:06:56,780 --> 01:06:59,260 you, everybody gets fucking hammered in this. 1864 01:06:59,260 --> 01:07:00,620 Who has the worst name though? 1865 01:07:00,620 --> 01:07:02,660 Like the parents obviously signing up. 1866 01:07:02,660 --> 01:07:04,740 Which I gotta guess the parents are the ones 1867 01:07:04,740 --> 01:07:06,340 who came up with the decision that we should, 1868 01:07:06,340 --> 01:07:08,420 you know how we're gonna own them lips? 1869 01:07:08,420 --> 01:07:09,260 We're gonna get our nine year old 1870 01:07:09,260 --> 01:07:10,620 to get tattooed, Trump on the neck. 1871 01:07:10,620 --> 01:07:12,060 That's how we're gonna do this. 1872 01:07:12,060 --> 01:07:12,900 No, we gotta go out of state. 1873 01:07:12,900 --> 01:07:13,900 We can't do this in our state. 1874 01:07:13,900 --> 01:07:16,220 We gotta go all the, we gotta go take a roadie. 1875 01:07:16,220 --> 01:07:17,860 We gotta get out of Arizona. 1876 01:07:17,860 --> 01:07:20,940 That's a huge, I mean, look, 1877 01:07:20,940 --> 01:07:23,300 I know you're my cousin and we live in Arkansas, 1878 01:07:23,300 --> 01:07:25,140 but we gotta take our daughter. 1879 01:07:25,140 --> 01:07:26,820 - So, over in Arizona. 1880 01:07:26,820 --> 01:07:27,900 - Just some research, you know where we, 1881 01:07:27,900 --> 01:07:29,140 you know, we can't go to our state. 1882 01:07:29,140 --> 01:07:30,180 We can't even go to the next day, 1883 01:07:30,180 --> 01:07:31,100 but you know where we can go? 1884 01:07:31,100 --> 01:07:33,260 I found out, youma, like you go to youma, 1885 01:07:33,260 --> 01:07:34,780 you can get tattooed, you can put a fucking, 1886 01:07:34,780 --> 01:07:36,860 you can hold your kid down with strengths 1887 01:07:36,860 --> 01:07:40,180 and get yourself a neck tattooed on Trump right there. 1888 01:07:40,180 --> 01:07:42,540 - I mean, what do you think? 1889 01:07:42,540 --> 01:07:44,820 We're choosing between putting Trump on the neck 1890 01:07:44,820 --> 01:07:45,820 and a unicorn. 1891 01:07:45,820 --> 01:07:46,900 Which one should we do? 1892 01:07:46,900 --> 01:07:47,900 (laughing) 1893 01:07:47,900 --> 01:07:49,260 I mean, she's not. 1894 01:07:49,260 --> 01:07:52,220 And so, if she came home with bluey on her neck, 1895 01:07:52,220 --> 01:07:53,820 I'd be like, well, that's fucking weird, 1896 01:07:53,820 --> 01:07:55,780 but at least it's, I, okay. 1897 01:07:55,780 --> 01:07:57,780 So now we have... 1898 01:07:57,780 --> 01:07:59,140 - Parent number one. 1899 01:07:59,140 --> 01:07:59,980 - Okay. 1900 01:07:59,980 --> 01:08:01,900 - Parent number one, if we could just revisit this 1901 01:08:01,900 --> 01:08:02,740 for a quick moment. 1902 01:08:02,740 --> 01:08:06,460 Parent number one, held a baby, a newborn, 1903 01:08:06,460 --> 01:08:08,300 while holding the hand of a toddler 1904 01:08:08,300 --> 01:08:10,140 and then punched the principal for protecting 1905 01:08:10,140 --> 01:08:11,940 the kids on the basketball court. 1906 01:08:11,940 --> 01:08:13,340 - What's terrible is... 1907 01:08:13,340 --> 01:08:14,860 - Yeah, sorry, go ahead. 1908 01:08:14,860 --> 01:08:17,460 - Parent number two, the horrible prank 1909 01:08:17,460 --> 01:08:19,820 that they made their kids, their boys cry. 1910 01:08:19,820 --> 01:08:21,940 In front of friends, I'm guessing, 1911 01:08:21,940 --> 01:08:24,540 over spilling ink that was a full plan 1912 01:08:24,540 --> 01:08:26,620 that they had of a disappearing ink, 1913 01:08:26,620 --> 01:08:29,380 to just screw with them mentally and get a, 1914 01:08:29,380 --> 01:08:31,260 and then there's parent number three, 1915 01:08:31,260 --> 01:08:33,220 who drove many states. 1916 01:08:33,220 --> 01:08:35,260 At least one, and that's to me, that's too many. 1917 01:08:35,260 --> 01:08:37,420 Like if you drove at least one to get your kid 1918 01:08:37,420 --> 01:08:38,940 and that's too, that's too much. 1919 01:08:38,940 --> 01:08:41,580 - You just wanna cross the border, that's that. 1920 01:08:41,580 --> 01:08:42,500 - Yeah, even that, even that, 1921 01:08:42,500 --> 01:08:45,580 if you drove more than 30 minutes to take, 1922 01:08:45,580 --> 01:08:48,540 if you won't fucking take your kid to soccer practice 1923 01:08:48,540 --> 01:08:49,740 at 20 minutes away, 1924 01:08:49,740 --> 01:08:52,620 but you're gonna go to a next state to get a neck tattoo 1925 01:08:52,620 --> 01:08:54,140 because that's the place where you can get it 1926 01:08:54,140 --> 01:08:56,140 legally done and you've checked every other state 1927 01:08:56,140 --> 01:08:58,260 in your region, fuck you. 1928 01:08:58,260 --> 01:09:01,860 So the parent number three is neck tattoo, parents. 1929 01:09:01,860 --> 01:09:03,100 Chad, which one of those? 1930 01:09:03,100 --> 01:09:05,100 Only one of those, only one. 1931 01:09:05,100 --> 01:09:08,220 - No, well, so I had, I do, 1932 01:09:08,220 --> 01:09:11,060 I might have to petition the Supreme Court on this one. 1933 01:09:11,060 --> 01:09:14,140 Number one, here's the crazy thing, 1934 01:09:14,140 --> 01:09:15,660 before you roll the drums. 1935 01:09:15,660 --> 01:09:18,420 Parent number one, punched a principal 1936 01:09:18,420 --> 01:09:21,420 and is not the worst one of these two. 1937 01:09:21,420 --> 01:09:23,820 - Parent number one, we might just be able to throw out, 1938 01:09:23,820 --> 01:09:25,100 right? - I know, you're like, 1939 01:09:25,100 --> 01:09:26,540 you're like, you got to pass, 1940 01:09:26,540 --> 01:09:28,940 you got to pass for violence in a school. 1941 01:09:28,940 --> 01:09:33,180 - You held your infant and punched another human being 1942 01:09:33,180 --> 01:09:34,340 and we're ready to just say, 1943 01:09:34,340 --> 01:09:36,420 you're the small fish we're throwing you back. 1944 01:09:36,420 --> 01:09:37,700 - You are, yes. 1945 01:09:37,700 --> 01:09:38,540 - Okay. 1946 01:09:38,540 --> 01:09:41,860 - So now it comes down to the last two and three. 1947 01:09:41,860 --> 01:09:46,020 - And so going to the Supreme Court on this one, 1948 01:09:46,020 --> 01:09:49,460 this is one where both of these are so fucking terrible 1949 01:09:49,460 --> 01:09:52,660 that it's a tie, it's a dead heat for me. 1950 01:09:52,660 --> 01:09:56,300 And I just, I can't, both of them, like you could just keep going 1951 01:09:56,300 --> 01:09:58,940 and like, oh, but this is worse, though, this is worse. 1952 01:09:58,940 --> 01:10:00,940 But you see how bad this is? 1953 01:10:00,940 --> 01:10:03,540 Both of them, both of them, to be fair, both of them, 1954 01:10:03,540 --> 01:10:05,820 like you say, leave permanent scars. 1955 01:10:05,820 --> 01:10:06,660 - Yes. - Right. 1956 01:10:06,660 --> 01:10:09,340 - Now I would say, I would say, 1957 01:10:09,340 --> 01:10:10,340 and here's the only difference 1958 01:10:10,340 --> 01:10:11,460 that I can make between the two. 1959 01:10:11,460 --> 01:10:15,060 I would say in the case of the parents playing the prank, 1960 01:10:15,060 --> 01:10:19,340 at least those scars aren't going to be seen readily. 1961 01:10:19,340 --> 01:10:21,860 Like you can hide some of those scars. 1962 01:10:21,860 --> 01:10:26,860 You can wear a button up collar 1963 01:10:26,860 --> 01:10:29,620 and still not see the scars, 1964 01:10:29,620 --> 01:10:32,100 but the tattoo on your neck, 1965 01:10:32,100 --> 01:10:33,300 you can wear a button up shirt 1966 01:10:33,300 --> 01:10:36,620 and we're still gonna see the big orange hair, right? 1967 01:10:36,620 --> 01:10:39,500 That's gonna be there from the bottom of the tattoo 1968 01:10:39,500 --> 01:10:40,340 on the side of your neck. 1969 01:10:40,340 --> 01:10:42,140 And I would say the same thing about the big bald head 1970 01:10:42,140 --> 01:10:43,900 of Joe Biden, but of my point is, 1971 01:10:43,900 --> 01:10:48,100 is that whatever it is, we're still on a nine year old 1972 01:10:48,100 --> 01:10:50,380 that's gonna have this neck tattoo, 1973 01:10:50,380 --> 01:10:51,620 we can still see that. 1974 01:10:51,620 --> 01:10:53,500 - So I, if I'm... 1975 01:10:53,500 --> 01:10:55,900 - You've convinced me, you've convinced me of the two. 1976 01:10:55,900 --> 01:10:57,980 That is the squeaker though, is the fact that 1977 01:10:57,980 --> 01:11:01,220 that the dumb thing here is is that they pick something 1978 01:11:01,220 --> 01:11:03,420 that was like temporary, right? 1979 01:11:03,420 --> 01:11:08,420 Like a politician, out of the out of office in four years, 1980 01:11:08,420 --> 01:11:10,700 just any politician, but anything political, 1981 01:11:10,700 --> 01:11:14,180 that anything that's a trend like that, 1982 01:11:14,180 --> 01:11:15,940 that's just like, not only that, 1983 01:11:15,940 --> 01:11:19,140 I always say this is my advice, my fatherly advice 1984 01:11:19,140 --> 01:11:20,740 to anybody thinking about getting a tattoo 1985 01:11:20,740 --> 01:11:23,700 is to stay away from names or images of popular people 1986 01:11:23,700 --> 01:11:25,340 because, and here's why, 1987 01:11:25,340 --> 01:11:26,980 because you never know what's gonna happen 1988 01:11:26,980 --> 01:11:28,660 some years down the road, right? 1989 01:11:28,660 --> 01:11:31,260 You never know all of a sudden out of no place, 1990 01:11:31,260 --> 01:11:33,540 you've got this awesome Dale Earnhardt tattoo 1991 01:11:33,540 --> 01:11:35,940 that you're like, oh, fuck man, I have a huge NASCAR fan, 1992 01:11:35,940 --> 01:11:37,020 it's got, it was amazing. 1993 01:11:37,020 --> 01:11:39,540 And then stories come out about how Dale Earnhardt 1994 01:11:39,540 --> 01:11:43,500 senior molested an entire group of like, you know, 1995 01:11:43,500 --> 01:11:45,340 we blow scouts or some shit. 1996 01:11:45,340 --> 01:11:46,940 And you're like, hold on a second, 1997 01:11:46,940 --> 01:11:49,060 I just got the tattoo 15 years ago, 1998 01:11:49,060 --> 01:11:52,020 too bad, motherfucker, you got that tattoo of that person's name 1999 01:11:52,020 --> 01:11:54,860 because you just don't know what that person's capable 2000 01:11:54,860 --> 01:11:56,500 over what kinds of stories will come out. 2001 01:11:56,500 --> 01:11:59,380 So you don't wanna put, well, you may have all the support 2002 01:11:59,380 --> 01:12:01,980 for whatever they do professionally or LeBron James. 2003 01:12:01,980 --> 01:12:04,140 And then all of a sudden, 10 years from now, 2004 01:12:04,140 --> 01:12:06,740 you find that LeBron James took a bunch of people 2005 01:12:06,740 --> 01:12:09,380 to an island where Jeffrey Epstein used to live. 2006 01:12:09,380 --> 01:12:10,300 Fuck that. 2007 01:12:10,300 --> 01:12:12,140 So the point I'm trying to make here is, 2008 01:12:12,140 --> 01:12:14,060 you stay away from those kinds of things, 2009 01:12:14,060 --> 01:12:17,220 just for that reason, a cool tribal design, 2010 01:12:17,220 --> 01:12:19,340 like I know what I'm talking about. 2011 01:12:19,340 --> 01:12:22,860 A cool tribal design, it's way, way dated. 2012 01:12:22,860 --> 01:12:23,940 That's fine. 2013 01:12:23,940 --> 01:12:25,940 You get that little Chinese symbol 2014 01:12:25,940 --> 01:12:27,660 that you still don't know what it said, 2015 01:12:27,660 --> 01:12:29,500 but they convinced you with a tattoo parlor 2016 01:12:29,500 --> 01:12:31,060 that it was like, oh, that's forever. 2017 01:12:31,060 --> 01:12:33,420 You're like, it could mean I'm a dick. 2018 01:12:33,420 --> 01:12:35,180 I don't know what the Chinese symbol means. 2019 01:12:35,180 --> 01:12:37,860 I'm not exactly sure what it is, but it's there. 2020 01:12:37,860 --> 01:12:40,380 And I got it, so I'm stuck with it now 2021 01:12:40,380 --> 01:12:43,540 and I'm gonna go, well, they told me it was forever. 2022 01:12:43,540 --> 01:12:46,460 Whatever it is, just stay away from those formal names 2023 01:12:46,460 --> 01:12:49,780 and images where shit could go really, really wrong. 2024 01:12:49,780 --> 01:12:52,420 And as it is, we already know there's enough, 2025 01:12:52,420 --> 01:12:56,220 I would have to say chaos around somebody like Donald Trump 2026 01:12:56,220 --> 01:12:58,020 that I don't know if you wanna go put that picture 2027 01:12:58,020 --> 01:13:00,540 on the neck right now when strange shit 2028 01:13:00,540 --> 01:13:02,580 could come out in the next four years. 2029 01:13:02,580 --> 01:13:05,180 - I just, well, yeah, I mean. 2030 01:13:05,180 --> 01:13:06,660 - Strange Earth, that's what I think. 2031 01:13:06,660 --> 01:13:08,500 - Yes, yeah, yeah. 2032 01:13:08,500 --> 01:13:13,500 And I, having that removed later in life too. 2033 01:13:14,020 --> 01:13:17,420 I mean, difficult, right? 2034 01:13:17,420 --> 01:13:20,740 - I can tell you from personal experience, 2035 01:13:20,740 --> 01:13:23,380 the big Bill Cosby back tattoo I had 2036 01:13:23,380 --> 01:13:24,580 had that removed. 2037 01:13:24,580 --> 01:13:27,100 It was really painful. 2038 01:13:27,100 --> 01:13:31,340 It just says across it, you guys don't know this, 2039 01:13:31,340 --> 01:13:32,740 but across it shows, we're gonna picture of it. 2040 01:13:32,740 --> 01:13:35,420 Just says put in pop, right across the shoulders. 2041 01:13:35,420 --> 01:13:38,620 And then a picture of the cause, come on, yeah. 2042 01:13:38,620 --> 01:13:41,580 - In the sweater, in the sweater. 2043 01:13:41,580 --> 01:13:42,860 - I'm gonna have removed, yeah. 2044 01:13:42,860 --> 01:13:44,620 - I do, I've got to picture it someplace. 2045 01:13:44,620 --> 01:13:46,580 - You're like weeks for you to be able to do that 2046 01:13:46,580 --> 01:13:48,180 for a long time to remove that. 2047 01:13:48,180 --> 01:13:50,260 - A lot of money too, a lot of money. 2048 01:13:50,260 --> 01:13:51,420 - A lot of money. 2049 01:13:51,420 --> 01:13:52,540 (laughing) 2050 01:13:52,540 --> 01:13:54,260 - All right, moving into the tournament 2051 01:13:54,260 --> 01:13:56,140 will be the parents who got there, 2052 01:13:56,140 --> 01:13:59,180 we're going to get their tattoo on the neck. 2053 01:13:59,180 --> 01:14:00,020 - That's your job. 2054 01:14:00,020 --> 01:14:00,860 - Nine years. 2055 01:14:00,860 --> 01:14:02,260 - Second tattoo, second. 2056 01:14:02,260 --> 01:14:03,900 - Second trip to a tattoo shop. 2057 01:14:03,900 --> 01:14:06,140 Holy shit, fire, that's amazing. 2058 01:14:06,140 --> 01:14:07,900 All right, well that's it for the dad's home pocket. 2059 01:14:07,900 --> 01:14:08,900 We'll leave you on that note. 2060 01:14:08,900 --> 01:14:13,900 So again, no dropping, skibbity and stay away from neck tattoos 2061 01:14:13,900 --> 01:14:15,500 because if there's only one thing that you've learned 2062 01:14:15,500 --> 01:14:16,700 from this very episode, oh, 2063 01:14:16,700 --> 01:14:18,180 and that your penis is at average size. 2064 01:14:18,180 --> 01:14:20,020 Until next week on the dad's home podcast, 2065 01:14:20,020 --> 01:14:21,220 for Mr. Chad and myself. 2066 01:14:21,220 --> 01:14:22,540 - Sssh, yeah. 2067 01:14:22,540 --> 01:14:28,540 ♪ I know sometimes I'm out of control ♪ 2068 01:14:28,540 --> 01:14:34,860 ♪ You're the only reason I keep on coming ♪ 2069 01:14:34,860 --> 01:14:38,860 ♪ Yeah, but the only reason I keep on coming ♪ 2070 01:14:38,860 --> 01:14:43,860 ♪ Yeah, yeah, only the only reason I keep on coming ♪ 2071 01:14:43,860 --> 01:14:51,700 - Woo! 2072 01:14:51,700 --> 01:15:14,960 (Pastry Clearser)