Latest / Aired Out / Tom Murphy - Sweethearts & Heroes

Transcript

Tom Murphy - Sweethearts & Heroes · Aired Out

• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Baby.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: Frankly, I don't even know where to begin this morning.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: I guess I should begin at the beginning and say
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: good morning and welcome to the aired Out podcast. I
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: love Wednesdays. Part of the reason I love Wednesdays is
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: that I get to chat with Deb Phillips from the world,
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: and I think she's with me. Good morning, Deb, Good
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: morning j D. How are you?
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: Oh? Good good?
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: I know that's a loaded question on a Wednesday, but listen,
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: I love our partnership. I love you guys, Gary and
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: the rest of the team over there. You guys work
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: so so hard putting this paper together every single week.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: And you've been doing it for what fifty plus years now?
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeap, Yes, we have fifty three. Well, the paper's
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: been around fifty three, Gary, and I've been doing it
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: for almost fifty one.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Amazing. What are we expecting the paper today, Deb, when
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: it comes out?
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: Well, we have the plane, few old home days, the
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: schedules in this week's world. It's coming up for September
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: fifth and sixth, lots of really fun things going on.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: We have our money saving coupons and plus our reuse
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: recycle directory, and lots of local news and events.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys got some great writeups. Man. I've been
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: reading some of the stuff lately and really taking a
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: little bit more time than I usually do to read
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: some of the stories of what's happening not just locally
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: but in our whole state, and it's really good content lately. Depth.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Yes, they really worked hard on, you know, upgrading
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: the content and getting as much information into each week
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: that we can.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Tonight, I will be out on the patio, probably with
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: a cup of coffee, flipping through the world with my
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: Optical Expressions classes on so that I can see properly
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: and read properly. But that's that's what I'll be doing that.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: Deb's serious and I look forward to it. It is
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: my moment of calmness and I'm excited about it. I
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: look forward to it. I actually do. I know that's
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: maybe sad to some people, Deb, but I really, I
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: really do. Thanks for coming on every Wednesday. Anything else
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: you can think of that you would like to share
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: in the paper today, dep.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: Wow, We have our Fall Explorer coming up pretty soon
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: and that'll have a lot of you know, fall events
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: and information in there. So we'll be doing that most
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: likely coming out mid mid September.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: All right, all the change is season. It is such
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: a busy time for so many of us. Dep Yes,
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: thank you ever so much for coming on. We appreciate it.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Have a great rest of your day, all right, tep
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: all right, thanks j D. All right, say how to
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Gary Forrest this morning? This is a guest. And I
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: said to Cherylyn last night, I'm like, I got Tom
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Murphy coming in tomorrow morning, and she went just like this, really,
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: I'm so excited to have you in here, buddy. This
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: is Christmas morning from me, buddy, seriously, so.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Well quick quick, I got to tell the listeners. So
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: I walk in here this morning to j D's studio
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: and I hear this grunting and groaning and and uh
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: there's j D. And he's ah and uh so I get,
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: I run across the room and I grab him and
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I get behind him and he's choking and just giving
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: him and he goes, no, he goes, I'm just warming up.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: It's how I warm up my voice.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: So somebody somewhere has security footage of this and two
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: guys out in the parking lot hugging each other with
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: free Hugs' shirts on. I mean, wow, Well.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: He just say giving me a little new technique for
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: warming up for my warming up my voice. As most
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: people know, I spend most of my time speaking to
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: young people and lots of other people around the country,
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: and I got a new little technique when I walked in.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: I like to tell young people all the time that
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: life is not a talent contest. It's a strategy game,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: and those who have the great strategies win the game
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: of life, and that's what it's all about. So I
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: got a new strategy today. And here's a good illustration.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: I know we're just starting football. Go Eagles hometown.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: Okay, yes, Philadelphia.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But when the NCUBA basketball team or tournament rolls around,
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: I always give this one to young people. They said,
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: how many teams are there in the in the NCAA
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: basketball tournament. This is one of an illustration that life
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: is not a talent contest, that it's a strategy game. Okay,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: So say there's sixty eight teams in the tournament in
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: the month of March, and that's a single elimination tournament.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: How many total games are played in the month of March.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: So there's sixty eight teams, and you could obviously take
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: a piece of piece paper and pencil, and you could
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: put half on one side, half on the other, start
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: eliminating them and counting the number of total games. But
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I already gave you the answer. You just didn't have
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: the strategy, that's right. So you want to take a
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: guess on how many total games are played in the
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: month of March.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: I guess nothing.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Well, there's sixty four. You could at least guess like
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: twenty thirty, fifty thirty one, Okay, thirty one. Now I said,
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: I already gave gave you the answer. It's a single
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: elimination tournament, which means every team loses except for one.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: If there's sixty eight teams, there's got to be sixty
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: seven losses. You just didn't have the strategy. And if
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: we framed education that way with young people, maybe the
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: game would change a bit to find out what strategies
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: work for individuals, because not every strategy works for individuals.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: And what I like to tell people is that good
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: leaders they're just strategy collectors. And so my life, because
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: I'm not too smart, I have yet to find my
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: academic equal. I had a combined six thirty on my SATs,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: and so most people got that on one half, so
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: I'm still in search of my academic equal anyway. But
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: the reason I have done what I've done in life
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: is because I've had some great leaders that have given
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: me strategies to use in this journey called life.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: I have to begin this morning by saying that my
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: partnership with you guys with Sweethearts and Heroes, has been
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: probably one of one of the greatest gifts I've had
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: so far in my career. And I am so blessed
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: to have met not only you, but your whole team
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: and to bring your message what you guys are doing
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: onto my my program, my podcast every Wednesday. It has
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: been a ride. I know that you're you're a crazy
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: busy guy, and you probably haven't had a chance to
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: watch every episode that we've done, but man, it's like
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: jen Rick, Joe, Brian All, everyone has had such incredible
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: impact here. Sometimes I forget when I'm talking with you
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: guys that we're on a platform with a lot of
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: people listening, and I'm like, I'm I'm just taking it
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: into my into my heart. It's amazing what you guys
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: are doing.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: Can can we pause for a second. Tell me about
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: your daughter, how she doing before anything. We've got to
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: get to the most important I like to hear's going
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: for the juncular here's another good strategy. You know, as
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: human beings, we know what the most important thing is,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: but what do we always make it the most important thing? Right?
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: And so I do like to tell adults, people, humans
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: that you have to make the most important thing the
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: most important thing. And we know that, but inevitably things
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: getting the way. I'm busy, I gotta do this, I
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: gotta do that, and we just don't make the most
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: important thing the most important thing. It sounds kind of silly.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: And you say that to yourself in the morning. I
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: gotta make the most important thing the most important thing,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: because we don't do that.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: The morning that pat Fish came in here was the
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: same morning that did you ever get a chance to
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: see that?
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was the same morning that Lily went out
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: to the chicken coop and found a trapped blue jay.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: And it was the most important thing to allow that opportunity.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: And that's what it is. Everything's an opportunity.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: It's like bad experiences opportunity, great experiences opportunity. And I'm like,
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: don't lose sight of this man. It's like, who gives
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: a damn that she's going to be late for school?
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: Let her safer this moment and let her spend some
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: time with this blue Jay and Pat just man, he
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: just ran with that.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: He's been asking kids that question last year. I so,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: what's going on. I would prefer you start with your wife,
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: because I have some deep things to say about you know,
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: what the most important thing should be in your life.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: But I don't think the world is ready for this
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: lesson when it comes to wives and children and men.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: That's a big, deep conversation that will probably have to
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: happen off air with us because but it's a big one.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: But you've been talking with sharonlyn No.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: I would prefer you start with your wife, but I'll
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: let you start with your daughter or wherever you'd like
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: to begin.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: We've, just like everybody else, we've had our challenges. For
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: the most part, we've had a fantastic summer, in my opinion,
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: probably one of the best.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: What was your favorite thing about the summer with your wife?
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: Probably the fact that we we went to Maine for
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: a week and I had brought you know, I had
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: my my ocean fishing pole and I really wanted to
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: fish from the shore, and she was having a fit
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: because she didn't want anything to do with fish inside
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: of her car and didn't want to bring the fishing pole.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: So we had a back and forth on that for
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: quite a while. I won, got the pole packed. We
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: get to the we get to this beach, and she
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: was having a fit about me even taking the pole
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: out of the car. Of course we had to stop
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: and you know, get some squid and some bait and stuff.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: So she just having a nut about this this stuff
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: being in her car. That stuff's not going in there.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: You'll walk back. So I took the I took the
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: fishing pole out of the car and and and set
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: it down down by our beach where we were sitting
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: on the beach. And still you're not fishing. Yes I am, No,
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: you're not, Yes I am. I never put the pole together.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: I never fished. Instead, we played with Lily in the
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: in the water. Lily was surfing and we were in
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: the waves and having having a great time. It was amazing.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: And this went on for probably two hours at least.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: And I'm standing there chest deep, and I down and
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: I see something huge in front of me in the water,
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: huge and I'm like, what is that?
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: Bang?
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: I get hit by a wave. I lose sight of it. Well,
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: brush it off. A couple of minutes later, I look down,
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: I see it again. I'm like, what is that. There's
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: this huge thing in the water in front of me. Bang.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: I get hit by another wave. I can't see it anymore.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: A couple of minutes go bye. I look down and
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: I see it again, and I'm like, I don't know
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: what that is, but I'm going to reach in and
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: touch it. Of course that's the smart thing to do.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: So I reach in two hands, and I feel that
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: it's a fish, a rather large fish. I put my
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: hands around the back of the tail, and I can
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: feel it. The tail's starting to flap, starting to swim away.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: Reached down with my other hand and scoop it. Bend down.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: I got both hands underneath this giant fish. And I
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: stand up and I'm holding what was estimated to be
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: a forty five inch striper massive fish. I turned around
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: and I walked into the into the into the shore
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: with it, and Sherilyn is standing there and we are
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: having ourselves a laugh, just like, that's the biggest fish
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: that you've ever caught and probably will ever catch. And
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: you caught it with your bare hands.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: JD. This might this might be the greatest fish story.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Let me just call it. What is the greatest lie
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: I've ever heard in my life? Right now? Dude, that
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: was the only thing I want you to do is
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: call her and get validation. Don't please, I know you're
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: grabbing your phone. Don't. You'll ruin the experience for the viewers,
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: for the listeners. I can't even process this, but I'm
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: going to. I'm going do you know how many inches?
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Forty four feet US is forty eight inches? This is
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: just under four feet, Tom JD. This is so hard
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: to get my arms around, but let me give you
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: four feet. Let me give you the lesson. I have
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: so many questions for you this entire episode. I have
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: the most unbelievable day yesterday at Oppenheimer OESG their opening day.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: It was right in the greatest opening day in sixteen years.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: But this, get ready, folks, there's about a six hour
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: conversation coming up here. Now hold on hold the phone.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: I'm serious. I'm gonna get metaphysical on you here. We're
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: gonna get biblical right, and you know when this guy
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: that this crazy rabbi that ran around the hills of
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: Judea two thousand years ago. I read Tom Holland's book
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: called Dominion. He's probably one of the greatest historians of
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: the modern era. Not the spider Man, Tom Holland, but
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: he's a secular thinker. But he wrote a wonderful book
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: called Dominion. It's long, it's a thousand pages or something,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: and I read it within the last year, and he
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: makes a really some people would say silatious claim. I
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: don't think it's silatious. I think it's fact based. That
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: everything we believe in Western society is based on these
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: Judeo Christian values that this crazy rabbi that ran around
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: the hills of Judea gave to us, and it's withstood
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: the test of time for thousands and thousands of years.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Take the transcendent reality out of those stories. Whether you
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: believe him or not, it's faith. It's not knowing, it's faith.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: So at one point in one of these fairy tales
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: that some people would call them, they're not catching any
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: fish because they didn't believe, they didn't have faith. So
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: and then he's going to just show him up and
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: he snaps his finger, he does his little dance, he
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: does whatever he does that we can't understand. And he said,
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: now drop those nets, and he does. Now, don't interrupt
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: me here because you want to. And they drop the
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: nets and they get so many fish, apparently that that
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: they can't even haul them into the boat and it
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: nearly sinks the boat. So the story is, your wife
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: commanded you not to bring that pole, and you were
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: going to fight her tooth and nail on this sucker
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: because you're a man, and that's what men do.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: They fish.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: And uh, I'm still trying to process to provide. Oh okay,
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: if you say so, to provide, survive, provide. I got
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: your baby. So this is just blowing my mind. So anyway,
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: so it takes you and your pride, the pride of
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: life to show your woman that you're a man, and
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: you just defy her and you bring the pole. And
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: but when you get there, you bend the knee and
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: you surrender to the love of your family, your child,
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: your wife, and your surrender. You just bend the knee
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: and then you go out into the waters of life
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: and you wade in deeply, chest deep, right to your
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: heart level. Probably right, and then it happens. It's like
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: a mirage. You don't even believe it the first time, right,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: and you're say, no, that's not what I think it is.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: And then you reach into the depths of the waters
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: of life and you tickle it to just see what
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: it is. And there it is, your magnus opus, the
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: thing that you came, the golden calf that you were
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: idolizing and you wanted to bring to the shore to
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: provide for your family. And you just walk out of
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: the sea with this thing in your arm, still still alive,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: flapping in your arms, and there's your family. You're the
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: biggest liar I've ever met in my life. Bro, Dude,
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna believe you. I'm gonna have faith because that
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: might be the greatest fish story I have ever heard
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: in my life.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: People want pictures, they want pictures. I've got pictures and video.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: Come on, dude, listen.
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: You give me fifty bucks right now, I'll show you
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: a picture. This is not rehearsed, folks. I happen to
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: keep a fifty dollars bill in my wallet. I'm gonna
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: call it stupid bluff.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Hold on to the camera. Little I got it fifty bucks,
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: So listen before you do this. I'm in an auditorium
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: yesterday with two hundred teachers, sure, and I'm telling a story.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: When I was in sixth grade, I had a teacher.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: She had me by the throat against the lockers. We
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: caught her shatzi okay, and she has her finger in
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: my face and she said, you're gonna be in jail someday.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: And how right she was. I'm in school every day
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: life for sixteen years. So I've been incarcerated in the institution,
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: the beautiful institution of compulsory education, which I have a
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: lot to say about and I believe in it for
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: sixteen years. So I told this group just in a
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: little rabbit hole I was in that when I started
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Sweethearts and Heroes, I looked up the word and we're
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: going to get to the fish picture because the people
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: want it. But what we're doing is we're leading them
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: on here. It's a strategy. But this is really really important.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: So I I tell them the word bully meant sweetheart
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: in the sixteenth century. It was a very endearing term.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Years later, I'm preaching this about sixteenth century bullies. It's
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: the solution It's the hope that someone gives to other
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: people that they carry around with him, and then it
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: hits me six or seven years into sweethearts and heroes.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: I'm telling somebody about this Shatzi story, little Tommy by
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: the throat, in front of the whole class. You're gonna
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: be in jail someday. I look up the word Shatzi
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: in the dictionary SHOTSI, and I say to this audience yesterday,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: if anybody can tell you what SHOTSI means, I'll give
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: you fifty bucks right now. It just comes out of me.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I didn't plan to do this, It just comes out.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: This guy's arm shoots up in the back of the room.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: He's got this big old crazy mustache, and he says
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: it speaking of Deutsch. Oh no, he said, it means sweetheart,
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: swear on my children. I walk to the back of
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: the auditorium. I handed the guy a fifty dollars.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: Bill, possibly better than my fish story.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no, no, no no no. Because
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: I really believe if there is a transcendent reality, something
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: in the cosmos which I talk and think. I don't
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: talk about it, but I think about it all the time,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: you know, like reality and there's that's a giant conversation.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: And what is this experience that we're in a simulation?
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: I think about it all the time. But the animation
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: of that creature that came to you has some kind
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: of animation or soul in it, and somehow it got
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: into your arms. If it's true, we have yet to
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: see if it's true.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: Would just stop it it's true, just give me a second.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: Going he's googling a fish picture. He is, he is,
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: he's what do you call it? Photo shopping? His face
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: on there? He is in desperation that the beads of
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: sweater forming on his forehead. Right now, dude, I have
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: some crazy stuff to talk to you about this morning,
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: and we're in a fish story.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: I understand.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: Good.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: Let me see. Here's here's a little bit of video.
• 26:05
  Speaker 5: A I.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: It's a I. It's AI. It's not a AI.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Because you can see my face stand by? Are you ready, dude?
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: I are you sitting down right? Now? Here we go?
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: There's no way.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: This is a very It's a rough, rough video. Chrylyn
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: was shooting this on the go pro as I was
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: walking out of the ocean. It's not a long video,
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: but but here it is here.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: It is good.
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: Take us face.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: You have a call in your life and you didn't
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: even fish for it. Look at this, Yeah, swim.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: Did you see here? It is again.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: Good? Let take us face.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: You have a call in your life and you didn't
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: even fish for it.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Look at this. Yeah, there's a god.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: The biggest fish you've ever caught in your life.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: There might. There has to be some kind of god.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: There has to be a god. JD. I know you
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: didn't fall on your knees and repent for your wicked
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: ways at that very instant there. Hold on first of all, here,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna take it from well. Yeah, people try and
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: give it back and I'm like, I'm like, just give
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: it to someone that needs it because I don't need
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: it and I'm not wealthy. Dude. That is the craziest
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: thing I have ever seen in my life. I thought
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: for sure, and I know you were going to say something,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: but you've told some other stories. Oh yeah, like even
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: the Blue Jay one. I'm like, yeah, come on, dude,
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: like j story. I know I I kind of saggerating
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: on that one, but I thought you were some kind
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: of liar, not like one, uh thank you, well listen
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: not I take it back. If Ricky Arish were listening
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: right now, Rick's listening, is he really? Oh god, I'm
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: in trouble. We should get him on the horn because
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: he he thinks that I lie with some of my stories.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: I don't lie. I just I just add some color commentary. Sure, dude,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: that might be the greatest.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: Speechless Yeah, I'll try to bring it in a little
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: bit more here so you can see.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: Dude. Stop stop.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: Oh gosh, Striper, I.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Wonder what happened to the fish?
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: Did you did you reach into its.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: Mouth and find a pearl? Are you ready for this?
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: Your daughter made you let it go?
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: First of all, it was very much alive there it is.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: I get up to the beach.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: I don't want to hear this. I don't want to
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: hear this.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: I get up to the beach with this, and within
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: minutes there's a crowd of people all gathered around. They
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: all have their phones out, and everybody's trying to talk
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: to me at the same time.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: Now you're hamming it up here, Tom, all right, I
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: believe you. I believe, I faith I believe.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: And these guys are like, you know, there's a couple
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: of guys you know, some Italian guys from Massachusetts are like, bro,
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: I've been fishing up here for forty years, and the
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: you know, holy crap, bah bah, how did you? I
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: caught it with my bare hands and they saw me
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: walk out of the ocean with it, and they're like,
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: you know what the what the state limit is, which
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to I know what it is, but
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna I don't want to get myself arrested
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: here in the air. But there's a state limit in
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: Maine for a striper. Let's just say that this fish
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: may or may not have been way over the limit,
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: the legal limit for size. I had people saying to me, both,
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: you need to put that back in the ocean right now,
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: and then I had the others that were like, you
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: need to filly this right now. Let me ask you, Tom,
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: did I have a knife? I'm on the beach. Do
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: I have a knife. Of course, I don't have a knife.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: I don't have a knife. Lily says to me, run
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: this beautiful beach, Dad, go over to those rocks over there.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: Wait there for me. I'm gonna find you a knife.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: She's ten years old. We're on a beach. She's got
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: a surfboard, having fun building sand castles. She's gonna find
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: a knife for me, my ten year old, bring the
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: fish over to the rocks, hide it in the rocks,
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: as I was advised to, just in the rare instance
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: that someone may have called one of the game wardens
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: to come down on the beach and see this guy.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: You know, I do. Okay, Lily goes up to the
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: parking lot and finds someone in a Volkswagen bus. Do
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: you have a knife that I can borrow?
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: So you sent your daughter up to a stranger's.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: Van with she went with sherlyn. Oh okay, she went
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: with sheriff and they were like, yeah, sure. They hand
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: Lily this like seven inch file a knife. She brings
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: it down to me. Do you want me to go
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: on with this story?
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: Dude? I am.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: Do I need to say the rest?
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: Dude? I'm still speechless? Dude?
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: Do I need to tell Do I need to tell
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: you that I may or may not have started cooking
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: fish back at the campsite at seven o'clock at night
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: and was still cooking fish at midnight and fed the
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: whole campground? Do I need to even go there? That
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: it may or may not have been the best fish
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: that I've ever eaten in my life.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: Dude, I am still and even for you to reach
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: in and grab a fish that you couldn't see, like,
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: what if it was a shark and it took your
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: arm off? You might be the greatest man I've ever
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: met in my life. Your manliness is on another level.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: I'm not like revering you and bowing down to you,
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: but that is the greatest story I've ever heard. And
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: you know it came from your surrender to your wife.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: That's the moral of the entire story.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: Is this karma or beyond that?
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: It no karma. It has nothing to do with karma.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: It has to do with your willingness to surrender to love.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: That's just the truth, man, And the universe rewarded you
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: and said, JD, you're such a I do a lot
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: of kids stuff, so I shouldn't say this out well,
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: but you're such a prick to her most of the time, right,
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: you don't do what she tells you to do. And
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: you know how I know that? Yeah, you know how
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: I know that.
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: How do you know that?
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: Because I'm the same way with my wife. She always
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: has the answers and when someone else tells me, and
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: I come home and I'm like, oh, like I learned this,
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: And she said, well, I've told you that like ten
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: times and I didn't listen, and I'm like God, and
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: she's right about nutrition, about exercise, about all these other things.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: She's right, and I don't listen, But you listened. In
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: the universe, blessed you.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: What do you think Cherylyn said to me when I
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: came out of the ocean with this fish, put it
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: back right now, or get this thing filated immediately impact
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: on ice.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: I have so many answers to everything that you say,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: but I refuse to give them because I'm going to
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: go the route of men and not the divine spirit
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: of woman. Right, the other half of the great archetype
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: or cosmos? Right, we have these two great archetypes that
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: come together in one yes, at some level. But if
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: I give my answer, I will be wrong. So you
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: should just tell me what your other half of your
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: being said.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go ask the lifeguard if you can
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: take this fish out of the ocean.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: So she did the right thing where you and I
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: would have done the wrong thing.
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: You know what the lifeguard said.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: Again, I won't answer.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: You do your female lifeguard, I don't know, okay, but
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: he basically said something to the effect of I'm looking
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: over here.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: So he gave her a hall pass, hall pass, all pass. Okay.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: So it was a guy. It was a guy because
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: if it was another woman, she would have told her
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: the right thing to do. But the guy was like, Ah,
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: I'll just look over here.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: There's more to this story. That's a little graphic. Yeah,
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: that are you talking about you and your speedos? I'm
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: talking about I'm talking about clothes, including a bathing suit
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: that were permanently destroyed by fish guts that needed to
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: be thrown away, and the rest of the day spent
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: uh in my underwear on the beach on the family
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: because the clothes had to go. You understand, I mean
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: had to go. It was from here down. It was
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: like something not a survivor. It was pretty like. Now
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: you're going to Texas, Chainsumer, you're going into.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: The realm of men again, and you're salaciously going to
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: generate this story. I think we should move on at
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: this point, dude, JD. That might have been the greatest
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: story of my So I was with high voltage power
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: alignment last week and and uh, you've seen.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: My circle box, yes, but it's amazing.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: It's amazing. It's amazing. And for those of you that
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: don't know, one of the most important things in my
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: life for the last seven eight years is this ancient
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: structure called circle and I do five hundred plus a year.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's just completely reoriented my perspective to reality and and.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: Mostly where you sit with others in a circle.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's an angine practice. One person talks, everybody
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: else leans forward and they listen. And there's a lot
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: to be said about the L word. Yeah, the L
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: word something that you and I don't do well.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: No, yep.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: And so but so I was with these high voltage
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: power alignement last week. I shared something with you that
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: I could not share with the world with anybody well
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: out very few savages that have a very low moral
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: compass like yourself. Yep. Yeah. Anyway, So a couple months ago,
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: I did a keynote speech in Syracuse, New York with
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: a contractor group of linemen called North Line Utility, and
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: got done this keynote and just for some context, people like,
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: what a lineman. You're all over the place here, Tom.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: I spent a lot of time talking about destructive decisions.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: We are not a suicide prevention group, but it's a
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: topic that comes up all the time. And the general
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: suicide rate in America is between twelve and fourteen per
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: hundred thousand, it's how it's measured. And the Marine Corps
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: leads the armed services at thirty four point nine per
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: hundred thousand. So I'm just giving you some context. Our
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: children today in America are at that average rate, somewhere
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: between ten and fourteen per hundred thousand. High voltage power
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: linement across this nation are at sixty seven zero point
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: eight per hundred thousand. They make the Marine corpl look silly.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: And I know, I just use the word silly. There's
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: nothing silly about that conversation. It's this cooquialllism or whatever
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: they call it, or some kind of phrase. It's meant
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: to catch your attention. And so I did this keynote
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: speech for these high voltage power alignment. We're working two
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: weekends a month for the rest for the next year
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: with twelve forty nine the local union in Syracuse, and
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: we'll be there two weekends a month for the next year.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: So it's a huge commitment we've made for these men,
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: and I have so much to say about this topic.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: This is you know, days worth of information and content,
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: and so I delivered this. You know, then we break
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: up and I want to let some of them experience
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: the circle, because the circle is the answer. It's one
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: of the great solutions to humanity and getting back to community,
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: which is what we've lost, which is truly JD. There's
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: two or three reasons I'm here and we have a relationship,
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: and one of them is you are all over your
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: community on aired out. You know, everybody wants to go viral,
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: and the prestige bias kicks in, and you know, they
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: get people that share and like and all this stuff
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: and it becomes a bit of an addiction and they
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: want it to go worldwide. One of the beauties of you,
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: this is probably the second or third reason I'm developing
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: a love for you, is that you just go sit
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: with people and talk to them on camera and it's
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: not about millions and millions of views. It's about that
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: individual you're sitting with, that you're communing with at that moment.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: Mother Teresa said, never worry about the numbers, Just help
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: the person next to you. And you've changed the world.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: I was paired that with what Alexander Solzenitz and said.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: You know, he was the one that wrote the Gulag
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: Archipelago that brought down the Soviet Union, really the Iron Curtain,
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: and that single book. They say he ended up in
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: New Hampshire, by the way, and he said, the universe
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: has as many centers as there are human beings, because
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: you're the center of the universe, and so's your daughter,
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: and so's your wife. Because when those lights are out,
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: someday universe is over. We don't know what really happens
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: after that. So if you help one person, you've changed
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: the universe. I'm looking outside of an old man sitting
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: on a bench right now reading the paper. He's the
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: center of the universe. And J D. Green he goes
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: around his community not to have millions of followers, but
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: to help that individual. So I'm doing this circle after
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: this keynote, and this young man about twenty five state
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: the room, just me and him, and I got my
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: circle box and it's got some It's one of the
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: most important things in my entire life. It's gifts that
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: I've been given from children mostly, and this twenty five
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: year old young man it's gonna boil your mind. You
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: ready for this. I was going to bring the circle box,
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: it's actually in my car. Reaches into his pocket. I'll
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: give you fifty bucks if you can tell me what.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: He pulled out, and you already know the answer. M
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: A fishing lore. Yeah, no hooks on it. They've been removed.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: Pulls out a fishing lord and he hands it to me.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: He said, you don't know me Tom. He sat in
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: a circle with us. He said, I want to give
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: this to you. I got chills thinking about this. He
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: hands it, puts it in my hand. He goes, that
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: was Jared's. Jared was a high voltage power lineman, not
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: even for the company he's with that took his own
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: life within the last year. Jared had a beautiful daughter
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: about your age your daughter's age, and he was best
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: friends with Jared growing up. The last thing they did
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: together was go fishing, and Jared gave him that law,
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: and then he was with him the night at a
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: graduation celebration, someone's graduation celebration, and then Jared went back
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: home and did the unthinkable. He gave him that law
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: and he put it in my hand and said, you
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: need to take this. I said, bro, I can't take
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: that from you. He said, you have to. You need it.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: He goes, I need you to put it in that
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: box right there. And I took that lure. And last
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: week I was with Richardson and Son and that was
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: the company Jared worked for. I had a picture of
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: Jared on the screen during the keynote. Put his picture
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: up there. Cheryl Richardson, who's probably one of the bravest
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: CEOs owners of a company I've ever met in my life.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: She's a woman that took over her husband's company called
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: Richardson and Son. Six years She's over quadrupled the size
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: of that company because she's not willing to do what
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: men do. She's breaking the mold. And I'm not talking
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: about men working hard. I'm not talking about men building
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: the streets outside and the buildings and stuff like that.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: That's what men do. But what she's willing to do
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: is break the stigma that men can't do because men
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: don't have that kind of cave. Yeah, we don't like
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: to sit around and talk about our feelings, and I
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: don't think they should. I don't think the men should
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: sit around and talk about their feelings. A thousand years ago.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: Your village gets attacked by a bunch of raiders. It
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: ain't time to sit down for a good cry, buddy.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: You got to take that sword and you got to
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: get out there. But after the battle, when your daughter,
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: your wife, your cousin, your friend is a casualty, probably
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: a really good thing to sit down and share those
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: emotions with the people around you that you trust and JD.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: There's only one way to build trust, and that's through
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: this neurochemical cascade of oxytocin. So it's on the back
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: of my shirt that I've been wearing for nine years
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: of my life. I've been wearing this shirt for nine years,
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: haven't worn another shirt, haven't missed a day in nine years.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: That's what men need, and we get it a little
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: bit when we wrestle with their fathers. When we sit
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: around and shoot the breeze with our buddies, but we
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: just stop right there. We have a little good time.
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: Maybe a little bit of liquid courage gets us to
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: talk about some other emotions. But when you have people
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: that you love and you trust, you gotta talk about
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: the difficulties, the challenges that you're facing. And yeah, that's
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: what we got a chance to do in honor of Jared,
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: sit around talk about our feelings a bunch of hairy
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: hard men at the right time, and that circle for you.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: And I got to take that little lure and I
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: put in every lineman's hand. They all knew Jared, and
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: it came from a young man that probably had to
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: see the courage of people like Cheryl and other people
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: say hey, man, you got to surrender, just like you
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: had to surrender to the big fish story. Ain't that incredible?
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: He didn't have to take that lure out of.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: His pocket and surrender it. Yeah, that's sacred stuff, man, sacred.
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: One of the you know what's amazing is you sent
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: me a voice message this morning and I replied with
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: a big, long voice reply message, and one of the
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: things that I said in it was I want to
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: talk with you about oxytocin that it's on the back
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: of these shirts. And the message failed. It wouldn't it
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: wouldn't go through. So I haven't even had a chance
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: to bring that up. And I'm so glad that you did.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: There is something that happens to us chemically when we
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: hug or receive a hug from someone, but in the schools.
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: We're not supposed to be hugging each other in the schools,
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: and post pandemic even more or so because of spreading
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: germs and so on and so forth. But it's not appropriate.
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: The list goes on the message that you push with
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: hug someone doesn't always have to be a physical hug.
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: It can be quick touch on the shoulder, Hey, you're good.
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: What can of good help? But look at all of this,
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: like this, this rewiring of our brains, post pandemic of
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: like pro social distancing and non touch. Are we ever
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: going to get the hell out of that?
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: Man? There's so much to be said. I just find
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: myself keep coming back to these cause mclessons, these ones
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: that have stood the test of time. And circle has
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: stood the test of time. You know, all of your
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: ancestors said in circle for thousands and thousands of years
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: and they were just communing with one another. And even
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: in Jonathan Height's book The Anxious Generation, one of the
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: great conclusions is that we have to get back to community.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: And there's just ancient stuff, man, And a lot of
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: times I reference these these ancient manuscripts, and you don't
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: have to be a Bible person or anything like that.
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: But I think it was this second Letter of John
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: that I was reading. And at the very end, I
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: think it's a second you. Someone can correct me if
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: they're listening, but it's just crazy true story. Man. I'm
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: listening to it on my way here. You know it ends.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to write to you in pencil and paper.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: I need to talk to you face to face. That's
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: what it says. Take the transcended God stuff out of it.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: I just find that these lessons, like, you can't beat them.
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: As much as you want to, you can't beat them.
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: Take all the God stuff out, the reality, the savior,
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: the nailing up on the cross, all that. Just take
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: it out. That's a different conversation. But the lesson on
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: my ride here this morning. Yeah, And that's how it ends.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: And it was the only little chunk I listened to
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: because I'm always like, I need another strategy. I need
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: another strategy. Life's not a talent context. It's a strategy game.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: Get the strategy, Tom, don't peddle God on people. Just
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: get the strategy and give it to someone. And that's
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: what he says. At the end, he says, I'm not
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: gonna write you in pen and paper. I need need
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: to be with you. Why because I need that cascade
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: of oxytocin. And there's great research that says when your
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: kid goes off to college, don't text them, it doesn't
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: have that oxytocin. Release FaceTime them and they'll have it.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: And that's what they need. They need that connection. Life
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: comes down to one thing, relationships, connection, nothing else. I'm
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: giving up everything in my life. Man, I'm getting rid
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: of my stuff, I'm getting rid of my money, whatever, dude,
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: because it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: that connection. You came into the world with nothing, You're
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: going out with nothing, as you know, as goofy as
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: that sounds, but.
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: Man, it's true.
• 51:55
  Speaker 5: Man, a fish story. This is huh did you get it?
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: I know that we have a lot to talk about.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: In school has just started up. Most schools across the
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: country started school on Tuesday, this past Tuesday, yesterday. And
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: here we go zero to sixty and a half a
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: second here, dude.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: There's a rocket ship happening right now. We're not zero
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: to sixty anymore, baby, especially in some of these states
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: where they are removing cell phones from schools. New York
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: every school.
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: Hang on, baby, yeah, this is a ride, bro, This
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: is amazing. And how many schools will sweethearts and heroes
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: be in acting this coming year?
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: The answer, as many as we can.
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: You got a big team now, that's you all are
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: driving the bus, and you all bring something different to
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: the table. I mean, Rick is not Brian, and Brian
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: is definitely not Leon. Leon's a whole different. That guy's
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: in a he's in a different reality, totally different reality.
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know he's in it. But y'all bring something different,
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: all of you.
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: And that's another one of these transcendent stories, right.
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, your head. Your team has been created by accident.
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, look at Jen. I mean people have have
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: naturally gravitated, and your team has been built that way.
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: As by Ross would say, the happy little accident, little accident.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: Yes, you didn't say, I need to go find some
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: guy who's been burned alive, who's a veteran, and see
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: if I can find that person to be part of
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: my team, to share his story and convey his message.
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: Everything has stumbled upon you, including you and I I mean, Shah,
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: I didn't even know you were coming to my daughter's
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: school that sweethearts and heros. And my wife's like, I'm
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: telling you you need to get this guy on the air.
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: I mean she doesn't sound like that, but I mean,
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: this is amazing. It's amazing, and I have fallen in
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: love with all of you guys, even Nathan what he
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: brought to the microphones.
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: Hey did you hear about our new flavor?
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: Oh lord, Chad, talk to me.
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: Oh jeez ah, Chad. I should have told him to
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: listen today. I should tell him to get on right now.
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: I can't keep up with your social media.
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: But listen, Chad is wow. So a couple of years ago,
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: and I'll make this super quick. And if anybody wants
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: to ask a question, I only take hard questions, so
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: no soft balls. So if somebody chatchy and wants to
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: ask the question.
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: If it's from Rick, deleteed, Okay, I will immediately he's blocked.
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: Okay, good, So anybody, but real quickly, Chad, this is
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: a cool little story. And man, way do you have
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: this guy on? So a couple of years ago, I'm
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: down in Warwick, New York, and a friend of mine
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: from high school introduced me to this guy that she knows.
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: They become friends and I meet him, shake his hand.
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: Something just stuck with me with the dude anyway takes off.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize this, but Rick ran into him at
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: a Tunnel to Towers event, and God blessed that organization
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: really done some amazing things. Rick has been one of
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: their main spokes people for years. Actually it's coming up.
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: He'll be there next weekend or whatever it is, and
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: so we always like to shout out that. But Rick
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: actually runs into my friend from high school and him.
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: So then a couple of years go by, years and
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: I go to Florida, New York last year school, little school,
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: forty to fifty kids per grade level, and I get
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: home and then ding, I get a message. Hey, I
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: don't think you remember me. My name is Tom, your
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: friend from high school. We're friends. I'm like, yeah, dude,
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: I remember said something stuck with me. He said you
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: were my kid's school today, and I just wanted to
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: reach out and tell you that I really appreciated. You know,
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: most kids don't come home and say mom and my dad,
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: let's talk about school. It's awesome, right. One of the
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: greatest things for me is when parents call me message
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: me my favorite compliment, my favorite message is when a
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: parent reaches out and say I don't really ever talk
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: to my kid and or things have just not been
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: well between my son or my daughter and myself, and
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: they came home and they wouldn't stop talking about it.
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: It's a beautiful thing for me. And so it's just
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: just one of those things and I just expected, and
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden it hits me. Man, this guy's
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: a marine. Next week, I'm doing this keynote at Richardson
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: and Son in Syracuse, and now he's down down near
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: like the Fishkill area, that kind of area, and I
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: just say it. I'm like, Hey, I'm doing a keynote.
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: You're a seventeen year major retired from the Marine Corps.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: You want to come watch. I've met a lot of
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: these linemen. They've remind me of marines. I've spoken Rick,
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: and I've spoken twice at Camp Pendleton, thousand infantry marines.
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: These are the men that he had to lead into
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: combat three times, three time combat veteran. And he's not slipped,
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: but he's mentioned in conversations about the concussions he had
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: from explosions and stuff. So I don't know the depths
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: of his experiences. But they're very in depth what he
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: went through. His eyeballs have seeing things that human beings
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: have probably not we're not supposed to see. And he
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: led men in war, and I've kind of fallen in
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: love with him. His humility, his kindness, his gentleness is remarkable.
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: And he went through the fire, not just in war,
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: but he went through the fire in his heart and
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: his mind. And he's coming out the other side now
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: and it's just the man that we need for these
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: linemen that are struggling.
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: What's happening right now is he are we He was.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: With me yesterday at oeesj. Every time I call, he comes,
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: he's been. He was with me all last week sitting
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: in circle with these men. He's been to a couple
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: of our circle trainings. He's been to you know, half
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: a dozen these keynotes. He'll be with me in Syracuse
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: for the next year, every twice a week, two weekends
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: a month. So you got to meet him. Man, he's
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: but it's not his combat. It's nothing to do with that.
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: And the craziest thing is Chad and I graduated the
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: same year and grew up twenty minutes away from each
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: other Western New York. Never met him, but we can
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: talk about Southside Mall and Oneonta. We went school shopping.
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: We were probably walking by each other. They're our whole lives,
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: and now the universe brought us together exactly what you're saying,
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: and we needed someone for these linemen because I can't
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: do it all. You know, I'll be doing Local forty
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: two in Connecticut in November. We'll be talking to them.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: We're going down to Alan Brightway in New Jersey. I'll
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: be in Puerto Rico and may excuse me in March first, second, third,
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: speaking to everyone that runs apprentice schools across America. But
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: the universe knew and we needed someone that could talk
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: to these type of men, someone that's been through a
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: fire that I can't understand. So I'm just following up
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: on what you said. I know, I said i'd make
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: it short, but you said, like these things, this serendipity happens,
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: and all of these people are attracted. And every time
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: I forced it though in my life, like oh dude,
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: I think you should work for us, I think you
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: should come and do this work never works. But when
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: I surrender to the universe, it just happens. Now Chad's
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: on the team. Where do you meet this guy?
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: God, we all have to learn how to do that there.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, but we're men.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: Let things come to you like a giant fish. Yeah,
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: instead of going and trying to catch it and looking
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: for it all the time.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: That might be in the manual somewhere too. Yeah.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: Books that you've written and you have co written, and
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: you've had helped with others, tell us about some.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: Well. I want to have a little bit of a
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: resurgence with thirteen pillows, you know. I want to have
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: a resurgence. The wizard was the one that put that
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: one together, and the wizard is Brian. We started. It's
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: funny because I just sent this to a superintendent last night.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: I was talking to him, so I got it before
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: a yesterday morning. Couldn't sleep. I'm in Johnstown, New York
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: and the Holiday Inn and have to do opening day
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: at oeesj Adam Harroth. You need to have him on.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: I think Leon's working on it. But he's a superintendent.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: He is He's a man, is what he is, and
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: we have a crazy good relationship and he's a young
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: superintendent and so he asked me to do opening day.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: I think it was the first opening day in sixteen years.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: We brought everyone. You know. Pat was there, Joe was there,
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: Chad was there, and so we did this crazy, crazy
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: cool opening day for Adam. But I woke up at
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: four am and I knew he was doing a Sunrise
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: breakfast with the seniors, and so I just woke up.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, can I come up on the soccer field.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: He's got a beautiful field, and He's like, yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: And I'm on one mission this year. One of my
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: big missions is talk to kids about cell phones in school,
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: to listen to them, not to preach. Yeah yeah, well
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: let me give you an example and bring me back
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: to where I'm atcaus I'll forget. But you know, as
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: I ended last school year, I started having this conversation
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: because I knew this was coming. And probably three of
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: the young ladies that I spoke to at that Sunrise
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: breakfast brought this up. First thing. They bring up what
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: happens when there's a shooter comes into the school. I
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: want to be like, what do you mean? But I
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: had this conversation with young people and I stopped doing that,
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: and I had this conversation at the end of last
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: school year. Started having the cell phone conversation. It's a
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: big conversation with you and I. It's big. I'll try
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: and just get right to the heart of it. And
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: there's so much. Man, I'm just gonna pause a little bit.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: I was just going to say, you know, you and
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: I could do a podcast.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: I know, I know, but I just get this out
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: of my head because because people that are touching kids
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: in schools and districts and superintendents and all this school boards,
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: they just they need to understand something fundamental that they
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: can't understand. So as I talk to young people at
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: the end of the last school year preparing for this
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: that's the topic they want to talk about, and immediately
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: we want to brush it off. Well, the statistically that's
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: not going to happen in your school, But that's not
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: the point. The point is fear has been driven into
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: their hearts. And when I hear young people say, when
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: I go into a classroom and there's a little window
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: slit in the door, I make sure I sit where
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: a shooter can't see me. I had a conversation with
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: a young person last year, and this young person said,
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: I know where my girlfriend is. One hundred percent of
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: the day of are schedule memorized, so when the shooter
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: comes in, I can get to her and protect her.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: When when when the shooter comes in, I can and
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: protect So I don't care if you think it's a
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: bunch of hocus pocus or nonsense. That's the mindset that
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: our children have going into education today. Unreal, and how
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: are we going to fix it. We're gonna put more
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: security guards, take away guns. I'm not saying we shouldn't
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: do that, but that is such a myopic and I
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: don't get in fights over this stuff. But I learned
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: these things by listening to young people. And the thing
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: that changed me was this, I gotta be very careful
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: when I tell this story, very very careful. I don't
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: think I should tell the story. Let me give you
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: a kind of it's too it's too sensitive. But I
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: was out of school where something awful happened and young
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: man gets his phone removed. I got a bail on this.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: I can't go any further. Yeah, it ends in the unimaginable,
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: and if he had had his phone in his hand,
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: I think there's a chance he might still be here.
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: Because of what Rick taught me, you have to get
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: through that moment, because that's all it is. When someone
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: makes the decision to do the unthinkable. Some of the
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: research says that they do it within ten minutes and
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: it's just a moment you have to get through. That's it.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: The issue hasn't been fixed. You're still going to be sad, depressed, anxious,
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: but you just have to get through that moment. And
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: what's the one thing that gets a kid through a moment?
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: They're friends. That's what got you through moments when your
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: buddies were like, don't do it, man, don't punch a
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: hole in that wall. Don't punch that kid because you're
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: pissed and angry. This phone is a connection to their
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: friends there. That's how they get that keep and get
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: and communicate that relationship. You may not like it. I
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: don't like it, but the first thing you need to
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: do as an adult is look in the mirror. If
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: you're a gen xer and say you caused this mess?
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: You did? What do you mean?
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 3: No?
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: I didn't. They didn't put the phones in their hands,
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: they didn't put the tablets in their hands. We can
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: talk about the addiction and the sleep deprivation and all
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: this other stuff if you want to but you did
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: it to them. Now, my big kick, and I'm going
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: to get myself in big trouble for this year. I
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: got a whole roll of stickers. I hope they're here today.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: I'm cell phoned free. You know who they are? Four
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: for me. I'm going into school this year and I'm
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: sell phoned free because the kids are how many teachers
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: are willing to do that? And I'm a defender of teachers.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: I love teachers. I say that teachers are the most
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: important people in North America today out of everybody, come on, Tom.
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: They spend more time with kids than their own parents.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: And when you talk about moral fabric, the moral fabric
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: of our teachers is what's given to our children because
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: we're too busy going to soccer games and doing this
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: and doing that. And I'm not beating parents up, I
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: just see it. And teachers are giving this moral code
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: that you know should have been written on this kid's
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: heart from childhood. And there are many great parents that
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: are doing that. But you're going to go into a
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: school and you're going to be a teacher and say,
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: oh wait a minute, I'm mature. I can handle this.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: Number One, sister, Brother you're as addicted as most kids
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: to your phone, just like me. But number two, man,
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: you think that just because you tell them to do it,
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: they're going to do it. No, they have to see
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: you do it. That's how it works. So have some guts.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: Put your phone away all day. Teach right, Oh, I'm
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: using it for work. Do you know how many hundreds
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: of auditoriums? And this is not again, it's not a
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: criticism that I've set in the back. When Rick takes
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: over and I see teachers just doing this, I'm pretty
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: sure it's not lesson plans. I'm pretty sure it's social media, right,
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: These variable reward you know, algorithms and systems that are
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: being fed to them just like everyone else. But the
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: point is, and I'm not against it, man, we have
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: to figure this out together, and every generation changes because
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: of the fluid intelligence that the younger generation that comes
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: into being. Has Socrates figured this out, So what they
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: do They killed him because he was tapping into that intelligence.
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 1: We all have this crystallized intelligence that continues to rise
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: our whole lives. But once your fluid intelligence is gone,
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: it's gone. But you can get it back if you
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 1: shut your mouth and you listen to young people. Bro,
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: I'm not naive. I had four kids and my youngest
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: is twenty one. They're wrong most of the time. But
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: if you pay attention and you pick out those kernels
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: of wisdom that the universe brings in through fluid intelligence, man,
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: you can just do some cool stuff. Look at what
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: you know. I'm not gonna say Elon Musk because people
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: hate him. I think they're starting to like him again. Yeah,
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: but what did he bring? Take the philosophy and the
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: ideology out, but what did he bring into the mix?
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: Younger people? Right? The Doge people were younger because he
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: knows the hack, the secret. Right, you got to coach
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: young people differently and say, man, I tried that. That
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: piece doesn't work, but man, you're onto something with that piece.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: And man, young people are the secret. And that's the
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: Sweethearts and Heroes message, right, because it's about empowering young
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: people to be the change, to helping them develop that
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: moral code within. Right, it was a manual concept. Two
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: things fill my heart with the ever since of awe
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: and wonder, the starry skies above, and the moral code within.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: And that's written indelibly on the heart, This moral code
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: but it has to be grown. It has to be
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 1: like a like a garden. It has to be watered
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 1: and tended because it's fragile. And when you can when
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: you can help a young people person develop that in
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 1: the midst of this unbelievable intelligence that they're exploding, this
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: wonder beam that's just shining from them that we shut down. Man,
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: you could do anything.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 2: I was listening to the whole wonderbeam and one of
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 2: the things that kept coming to my mind is we
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 2: all have these mirrors that can refract that light into
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 2: different directions. It's the same light, but it's just going
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 2: in different directions. Some people are walking around with it
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 2: big old disco ball that they're carrying around, and some
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 2: of us just have a couple of mirrors. But man,
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 2: it's like trying to just keep that wonderbeam on the
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 2: straight and narrow and just let it go where it
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 2: needs to go and penetrate what it needs to penetrate
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 2: without it getting refracted somewhere. Yeah.
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: Light. I was talking to a theologian a day or
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: two ago, and that was the conversation about light. Right.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: Einstein played with that one, right, Yeah, So he developed
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: their relativity. Was watching light come into the window and
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: dust motes floating in it. You know, he couldn't even
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: get a job as a substitute teacher. They thought he
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 1: was too strange and weird. And he got a job
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: at a patent office and he was just sitting there.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: He was so good. He didn't have to spend a
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 1: lot of time on his work, and he just saw
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: these dustmots floating, you know, in this light beam. He's like,
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: I want if I could ride a beam of light.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: It's all about light. Yeah, but you go into some
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: deep theology light entering the world. You know that this
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: is incredible when conception happens. Look this up. It's fascinating.
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: There's a flash of light inside a woman in her womb.
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 1: There's a flash of light. That's the wonder beam. It's
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 1: the spark dude, look it up. It'll blow your freaking mind.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, I want to say to you because if
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 2: I don't, I'll forget. If anyone listening right now has
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 2: not had a chance speaking of a gift of light
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 2: coming into your life, if you haven't had a chance too,
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: I don't want to say watch or listen to, but
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 2: rather experience. Peter hawks On airedown just recently. It is
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 2: so worth making. Don't try to find it because you're
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 2: not gonna find it. Don't You're not going to find
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 2: the time. Make the time to carve out an hour
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 2: of your day at some point, maybe before you go
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 2: to bed, and just listen to this man's soul permeate
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 2: on the microphones. Have you had a chance, Tom, Yeah,
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 2: I've gotten through most of it. The guy is just
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 2: like it was one of those moments where it was
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 2: one of those episodes, kind of like this morning where
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: I know that once I leave the studio, I won't
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 2: remember my drive home, just like I can't. I'm not
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 2: even going to try to describe that podcast because it
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 2: was so deep.
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 1: I met him because we have a We just transitioned
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 1: our entire five or six year curriculum development to a
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 1: company called Thrively in California, a couple hundred thousand teachers
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: using this platform, and we wanted to deliver our content
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: for our classes. We have a full suite of classes
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: for every other day, a leadership class, and one of
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: the tiny little pieces in there is developing your own
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: core values. You should have a set of core values
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: that you live your life by. And when his son
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: Ryan perished, they found his core values on his computer.
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: And my favorite one is play like every day like
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: you're thirteen. So anyway, Yeah, he's a cool dude man,
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: and you talk to him and he seems like an
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 1: eighty seven year old skate dude.
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 2: He's mountain bike. He's a savage with the house mountain
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 2: biking at eighty seven.
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 1: Now I know, Hey, can I back up real quick?
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 1: Just on thirteen pillows. Yeah, it's on audible on Amazon.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: And I told Brian the other day, I said, I
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: want to just give it away for free. See if
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: we can get on audible and just make it a
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 1: free download. This is a great book. We're just really quickly.
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: I just want to close the loop on that because
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: I was talking about it and I jump in these
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: rabbit holes and then I'm, you know, in another one,
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: and I'm.
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 2: Like, where was I at?
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But you know, I've been telling these stories for years,
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: and when Brian first came on with us, he traveled
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: with us and he sat in the back of auditoriums
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: and classrooms and he listened to these stories. And I said,
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: we need a book. And we were doing this little
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: seminar called thirteen pillows, and I'll give you the nugget
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: on that one. When you lay your head down the
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: pillow tonight, you have to say every night of your life,
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: you have to say I wish I had or I'm
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 1: glad I did. That's the pillow test. You lay your
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: head down the pillow, you say wish I had or
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 1: I'm glad I did. If you say I wish I had,
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 1: you failed the pillow test. And that's okay.
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 2: Be honest with yourself.
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: I failed all the time. Yeah, be honest with yourself.
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 1: But if you lay your head down the pillar and
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: you say I'm glad I did, you passed the pillow test.
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: So you know, there's like somebody sitting on that park
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 1: bench out there and you walk by because you're in
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 1: your rush, and you lay your head down and the
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: person looks sad, and you say, man, I wish I
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: had stopped and just said hi. It's okay to fail
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 1: the pillow test. There's eighty six thousand, four hundred seconds
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: and every day, and just don't ever forget this that what's.
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 2: That number again?
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: Eighty six four hundred seconds and every day. Imagine if
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 1: you woke up and there's eighty six thousand, four hundred
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 1: pennies in your bank account every single day. Every day.
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: It's like Groundhog Day, right boom. Well, you have that
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 1: every day, take advantage of it, and it resets, so
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 1: you can fail the pillow test. There's nothing wrong with it.
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 1: But so the next day when you walk by and
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 1: you just walk by that same guy, you might say, oh, geez,
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 1: and that's one of our pillows. Never walked by a
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 1: wilting flower. That's a great story right there. And so
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: then you stop and you talk to him, and you
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 1: hear something and you learn something, and he gives you
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 1: a gift right of his time and his story and
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: his emotions. Those are gifts. And then you let your
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 1: head down on the pillow and say, man, I'm glad
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 1: I did change your life forever. So anyway, but thirteen
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: Pillows is a wonderful book, and it's it's a fictional
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: allegory in honor of a young man took his own life,
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 1: a kid I was in a wrestling room with many times,
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 1: you know, you wouldn't have known this kid was in
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 1: the wrestling room until he wasn't just one of these
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 1: invisible kids. And two thousand and nine, he did the unthinkable.
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: His name is Evan, and the book's in honor of
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 1: Evan by a young man that takes his own life
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 1: in the book, his name is Alan, and young educator
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: loses him, just wants to throw in the talent. Education says, this,
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: this sport ain't for me. I got into this sport
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 1: to turn boys into men and men into champions. And
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: so he writes his resignation letter on the very first
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 1: page in the prologue, goes into gym early in the morning,
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: reads it out loud, just wants to hear himself through
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: this thing. Reflect he's in that stage in his life
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 1: where he's just you know, leaving twenty five and that
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 1: growing brain and coming into a bit of a deeper
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 1: philosophical mindset and exploration and trying to understand, and so
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 1: he reads it out loud, real early, and he gets
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 1: done and out of the shadow steps of custodian retired educator,
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 1: loses his wife to cancer, just wants to come back
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 1: and be around kids again. And he hears this young
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 1: man's heart just spilling all over this floor, and he's
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 1: got all the answers, and he just steps out of
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 1: the shadows and has a conversation with him and modeled
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 1: after a good friend of mine named Tim McGowan, and
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: that's one of my yodas in life. Tim McGowan helped
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 1: doctor Peter Wineman built Wingman Guardian Connect for the Air
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: Force because of those destructive decisions. And Tim's always got
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 1: all the answers for me. I call him up and
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 1: I'm like, Tim, I got a tough one for you,
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 1: and he just rips it out without thinking anyway. This
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 1: old man steps out from the shadows and gives this
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 1: kid a lesson and just has a conversation with him,
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 1: and then they go on this journey together in this
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: wonderful socratic dialogue. It's it's written a little differently if
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 1: you there's a book called Ishmael a gorilla behind a
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 1: piece of glass and a young man that just has
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 1: a conversation with him. So it's really heavy in dialogue
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 1: where the lessons are delivered in dialogue, but just takes
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 1: him through this wonderful conversation of these thirteen pillows on
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 1: what it means to be an effective versus an effective educator.
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 1: Because of New York State, every teacher is assessed on
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: their effectiveness. It's an assessment called APPR. But the Great
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 1: Benjamin Bloom said there's three domains of learning, the cognitive,
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 1: the psycho motor that interacts with the world. But he said,
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 1: if you're gonna connect the head to the hands, you
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 1: have to go through the heart, or the effective domain,
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 1: you got to go through the heart. You can't get
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 1: to the hands without from the head to the hands
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 1: without going through the heart. And the greatest educators that
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 1: I've met my entire life, not just in the last
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: sixteen years, it's because they taught from the heart. And
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 1: if you want to know what it means to be
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: an e effective educator, you get that book. But I'm
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 1: gonna give you a flyer JD. I don't know Brian's listening.
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 1: He can email it to you. But there's a QR code.
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 1: You can get the e copy for free, and there's
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 1: a Google drive. We just threw all the audio chapters
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 1: because it was professionally read. I like to speed it
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: up to about one point five. But really a cool book,
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 1: frank Yeah, yeah, Franken. And he's he's a man. He's
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 1: got some good books out. But it's a sick book, dude.
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 1: And it's just and it has nothing to do with education.
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 1: It has to do with life. Like pillar number one,
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 1: it's a marathon, not a sprint, right, And that's true.
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 1: It has to be true because you know, when a
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 1: kid's suffering, when a kid's in trouble. A lot of
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 1: times we're trying to make kids sprint, get this done,
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 1: get that done. But life's a marathon, not a sprint.
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 1: I'm holding myself back because I got a couple of
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 1: good stories about life being a marathon not a sprint.
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 1: So but I don't know. You asked about it, and
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 1: Brian sat in the back of this classroom and I
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 1: was like, hey, man or auditoriums for like two years,
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, hey, we got to write a book.
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 1: And so we took the lessons of Thirteen Pillows and
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 1: we wrote him into individual chapters. But I'm a big
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 1: allegorical reader. Lewis C. S. Lewis, Yon Muggridge, like I
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 1: like those guys, and it just speaks to your heart.
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 1: These stories that are transcendent, that go through time and
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 1: culture and generations, they just transcend all of that. And
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 1: and Brian knows that because I'm always talking to him
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 1: about stuff like that, and and so one day we
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 1: had this whole book put together, these thirteen different chapters,
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 1: and one day he's like, I think we got to
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 1: scrap it. I'm like, what are you crazy? But he's
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 1: the wizard and he pays attention. He can read my mind,
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 1: and he's like, let's do a fictional allegory. I said, okay,
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 1: do it. And so he took all these stories I
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 1: was telling teachers for years and put them together in
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 1: thirteen Pillows. I don't think he gets as much play
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 1: because the title isn't that sexy. And anyway, so it's
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 1: a great book though, man, and I love taking teachers
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 1: through it in book clubs. It's a fun book and
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 1: I was just talking about it yesterday. I haven't done a
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 1: book club in a couple of years on thirteen Pillows.
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 1: So anyway, you were asking about the book and just
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 1: a fun, fun book.
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 2: God, I'd love to be part of that. I really
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 2: would that book club. I before we close out this morning,
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 2: I just got to tell you a couple of things.
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 2: Number One, I really want to come to one of
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 2: your events, presentations at a school or otherwise to experience
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 2: Rick and you and everyone else, maybe be in a circle.
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 2: Maybe be outside of the circle.
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 1: No, you got to be in a circle.
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 2: That's fine, that's fine, certainly happy and willing and Peru
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 2: is still impacts me being over at Peru High School
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 2: with you. But and this is something that that Heather
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 2: and and Jen and Pat everything, Brian, Joe, everyone, Rick,
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 2: Everyone's ready for this. I'm like, when are we the
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 2: Sweethearts and Heroes family, just your team gonna sit down?
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 2: I want to be part of it. If I can,
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 2: I'll pay my way. I'll give the fifty bucks. Have
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 2: our own circle.
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 1: Man, That'd be great, wouldn't it. Can I can? I?
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 1: Can I talk about done? Well, we're in circle with
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 1: each other quite a bit, but just us just don't know.
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 1: We haven't done to just Sweethearts and Heroes circle. That
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 1: be great.
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 2: I want to be part.
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 1: Of that, Okay? Can I can I talk about one
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 1: of the most important circles in my life? Sure you
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 1: know I'm not a Vermonter. I adopted vermontin nineteen ninety nine.
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 1: I got kicked out of New York for some indiscretion.
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 1: I'm kidding. I was a young father a six month
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 1: old baby. My wife Wendy and I get a I
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 1: was on my way to graduate school, the Adler School
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 1: in Chicago I was getting into, I was hoping to
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 1: get into, and I've been a big fan of Adler recently.
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 1: Alfred Adler just really a neat guy. The world went
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 1: in the direction of Freud, and they should have went
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 1: in the direction of Adler, and yeah, he was a
• 1:27:36
  Speaker 1: neat guy. End up. Anyway, So I was on my
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 1: way there, and I took a job in the rail
• 1:27:40
  Speaker 1: industry for the summertime because I was a new father
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 1: and fell in love with the industry, which is funny
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 1: because you couldn't tell the difference between a conductor and
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 1: an engineer and alignment. And now the universe puts me
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 1: back in that world later in life, which is kind
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 1: of cool. It's a really I've been thinking a lot
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 1: about that orchestration by the universe. But anyway, you know,
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 1: first time I ever made money in my life. I
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 1: grew up with almost nothing. Man, My dad used to
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: hide two dollar bills and books and member my mom
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 1: like as a kid shaking these books out, trying to
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 1: find two bucks for a for a gallon of milk.
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 1: So I never really made any money growing up as
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 1: a kid. Worked some farms when we moved. When we
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 1: moved to New York, and you know, made a few
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 1: bucks here and there in the summertime. But I graduated
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 1: from college and I started working for this rail company
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 1: making seventeen bucks an hour. Man, I thought I was
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 1: a millionaire, had a baby and a wife, and I
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 1: was like, man, this feels good. I like this industry.
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 1: I like the rawness of it. So I take a
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 1: job in Saint Albans, Vermont, with another rail company because
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 1: the one I was working for was being sold. And
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 1: it's a big, crazy, long story, and so I end
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 1: up moving to Saint Albans in March. It's dirty, the
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 1: snow banks are brown. My wife was not happy about it,
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 1: but she surrendered to the man. And she's a half
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 1: oh jeez, she's half Costa Rican and she doesn't like
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 1: the snow and the cold. But for twenty seven years now,
• 1:29:23
  Speaker 1: she bent the knee to be my greatest helper on
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 1: planet Earth. And she's the most important thing in my life,
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 1: more important than all four of my kids put together.
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 1: True story, that's a big conversation, my friend. Anyway, we
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 1: move up here and I jump into this rail industry,
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 1: and this man fell into my life named Charlie Moore.
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 1: Just saw him. He's eighty one years old, he's on oxygen.
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: Just saw him a couple of days ago for the
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 1: first time in a couple of years. Spent four hours
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 1: talking to him. Got myself all choked up too. Changed
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 1: my life that man. But I moved to Vermont and
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 1: I became part of the community because Charlie Moore told
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 1: me I had to be. He moved here from the
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 1: state of Washington and this is a Charlie Moore lesson
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 1: and I got a whole book of these. Man changed
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 1: my life and he forced me to become part of
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 1: the d RB and the city whatever. And I'm like,
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do this stupid stuff. Man, listen
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 1: to people's stuff, and he said and twink, yeah yeah.
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 1: He made me do it in St. Albans and it
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 1: was great. Yeah I know, dude, I know. But I
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 1: got to listen to people's struggles, business owners that were
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 1: failing and needed help and all that stuff, all this
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 1: sweethearts and hero stuff that I had never done before
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 1: in that capacity for my community. It's all come in
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 1: full circle. So Charlie just a huge part of my life.
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: He's passed away in a couple of years, and I
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 1: don't I don't know how I'll process that. I got
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 1: some Charlie Moore stories, man, that'll bring you to your knees.
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 1: What about a young man that took his own life,
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 1: and sitting at a table with him struggling with one
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 1: hundred nineteen thousand dollars bill that I needed to pay
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 1: that I couldn't pay. And this when I was sitting
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 1: and talking to him randomly. Oh, mother from South Carolina
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 1: sends me a picture of her son and a coffin.
• 1:31:28
  Speaker 1: As the words are coming out of my mouth about
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 1: the despair I was in. And I'm sitting there and
• 1:31:38
  Speaker 1: I look at my phone and I used to have
• 1:31:41
  Speaker 1: the text messages pop up. I don't do that anymore.
• 1:31:43
  Speaker 1: It's a long time ago. And I look at it.
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 1: He goes, what's wrong. You're scaring me. That's what he
• 1:31:49
  Speaker 1: said to me. Put my phone down, I said, Charlie,
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 1: I'm good. I said, I'm fine. I thought about my
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 1: own son. It was about that age, and my own daughter.
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 1: That was about that age. I've never thought about money
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: from that day on the struggle of money. It's a
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 1: long story. I'll have to tell it to you sometimes.
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 1: But anyway, so I come in. Charlie Moore forces me
• 1:32:12
  Speaker 1: to become part of the physical community. I'm doing railroad
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 1: stuff all over the country. I'm like, what does little
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 1: Saint Aubans have to do anything? Well, Tom, that's where
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 1: you're gonna raise your children where you say they're the
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 1: most important thing in your life. Make them the most
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 1: important thing. This is where your wife decided to be
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 1: for you and your selfish desires. Make it part of
• 1:32:36
  Speaker 1: the community, your family. So I did. I trusted him
• 1:32:41
  Speaker 1: because it's Charlie Moore, one of the loves of my life,
• 1:32:44
  Speaker 1: that guy. And anyway, as part of this circle, this community,
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 1: I got to know these Chevy dealers. Hah. I got
• 1:32:56
  Speaker 1: to know these Chevy dealers. And it's been a little
• 1:33:00
  Speaker 1: bit of strained with the relationship because they want things
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 1: done a certain way, and you know, and I find
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 1: my resistance on the line, you know, striking and but man,
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 1: I'm so grateful to these men and probably a handful
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 1: of women that are probably the only smart ones in
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 1: the group.
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 2: But I'm kidding, but they have supported your your efforts
• 1:33:28
  Speaker 2: to get you guys into schools. Yes, so much.
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man, they're changing and saving lives. They're changing so
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 1: many universes. Yea, all them kids. I mean, we wouldn't
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 1: have got to your daughter's school if it wasn't for
• 1:33:43
  Speaker 1: Wells River Chevrolet. You and I wouldn't have met. No, no,
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 1: if it wasn't for Wells River Chevrolet. This whole podcast
• 1:33:51
  Speaker 1: is because of Wells River Chevrolet. Right, and I could
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 1: go down the list Mark Alderman, Man, what that guy
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 1: has done in Rotland. We wouldn't have Don on the
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 1: Summit without Mark Aldermen. Think about that. That was the
• 1:34:04
  Speaker 1: greatest life changing event. Joe dissented from Spartan. He's got
• 1:34:08
  Speaker 1: millions of followers, five million followers. I wouldn't have my
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 1: relationship without Mark Alderman, with one of the greatest organizations
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 1: that's changing the health of America. If it wasn't for
• 1:34:20
  Speaker 1: Mark Alderman, I could go on with Brian Whore, with
• 1:34:23
  Speaker 1: Brian Bonk, all these men, right and anyway. I just
• 1:34:30
  Speaker 1: think that's one of the greatest circles Vermont has ever
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 1: given me. Was those men that have sacrificed the thing
• 1:34:38
  Speaker 1: that corrupts all men, money, sacrificed it to help their communities,
• 1:34:44
  Speaker 1: their children, man, what a circle that one is. I'd
• 1:34:49
  Speaker 1: like to get in a circle with all fifteen of
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 1: those guys.
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 2: When when can I have you back on? Man? Ibby?
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 1: You're tomorrow JD No, I'm I had to do a
• 1:35:00
  Speaker 1: school tomorrow.
• 1:35:01
  Speaker 2: So I can't thank you enough man for schlepping out
• 1:35:08
  Speaker 2: here and doing this with me. And I can't thank
• 1:35:12
  Speaker 2: enough for your your partnership with aired out. I am
• 1:35:18
  Speaker 2: so blessed, so so rewarded by it.
• 1:35:23
  Speaker 1: Well, I'll disagree with that. It's it's we are the
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 1: ones that are blessed because now we get to reach
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 1: some kid in a trailer. His old man's listening to
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 1: this doesn't realize that he's listening to it, and he's
• 1:35:38
  Speaker 1: going to say, you know what, there's hope.
• 1:35:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, hope. What a powerful and sometimes dangerous word. Man.
• 1:35:50
  Speaker 6: It's and what Rick brings for hold on, why'd you
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 6: say it's dangers? I got a thought about that.
• 1:36:03
  Speaker 2: We'll do another. We'll do an episode on that, can.
• 1:36:07
  Speaker 1: We Yeah, man, I just gotta you know. I'll leave
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 1: it with you.
• 1:36:10
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna answer that, right, I'll leave you with
• 1:36:12
  Speaker 2: a quote to kind of staple to it.
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 1: Okay, please, So Augustine said, m we love the truth
• 1:36:21
  Speaker 1: when it enlightens us. We hate it when it convicts us.
• 1:36:26
  Speaker 1: There's some powerful ancient words right there. We love the
• 1:36:28
  Speaker 1: truth when it enlightens us. We like to flaunt it,
• 1:36:31
  Speaker 1: running around, tell everyone about it, but we hate it
• 1:36:34
  Speaker 1: when it convicts us, when it convicts our heart. And yeah, man,
• 1:36:39
  Speaker 1: it can be a dangerous word, hope, because it can
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 1: convict you in the unbelievable way, in a visceral way.
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 1: It can convict you and say I know what I
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 1: have to do, then go do it.
• 1:36:52
  Speaker 2: Thanks for coming in.
• 1:36:53
  Speaker 1: Tom, love me, buddy.
• 1:36:55
  Speaker 2: I love you too, Bud, Tom Murphy, Sweethearts and Heroes.
• 1:37:00
  Speaker 2: Right here I aired out, Thanks buddy,