Latest / The iAlign Podcast with Flint Mitchell / iAlign #49 - Do it for Yourself AND Your Loved Ones

Transcript

iAlign #49 - Do it for Yourself AND Your Loved Ones · The iAlign Podcast with Flint Mitchell

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Seeking Authenticity Podcast, hosted by Ioline, where you get practical insight and interviews aimed at identifying your unique purpose in life, one aligned with your core values.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: We help ambitious individuals who are seeking a better life build confidence, peace, strength, and pride in themselves so that they wake up each day feeling present, moved to act by their own unique adventure, and unloaded by a heavy conscience, which is where they need to be if they want to pursue an ambitious and successful life while still loving the person looking back at them in the mirror.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I am your host, Flint Mitchell, CEO, founder, and head coach of Ioline, a coaching and software company aimed at building a more value-aligned world by supporting one billion people to take one value-based decision every day.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the episode.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like you, I've had family members and close friends pass away.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's a natural part of life.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And while bringing death to my awareness is an important practice for me in making sure that I live every day like it's my last, it's not why I'm bringing it up in this podcast episode right now.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm bringing up the topic of death because I want you to reflect on your relationships in this moment.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: And if the person you are bringing to them is the person you truly want to be.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: When you look at your partner or your friend or your mom or dad or grandparents, if you're still lucky enough to have them, do they really get to connect with you?
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like the version of you that you most want to be?
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'm not making myself clear.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you spend quality time with them, maybe you, you know, bake cookies with them or watch TV with them or movies or you have dinner with them occasionally, and hopefully you tell them how they how you feel about them regularly so they they know.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: But do they get to see the real you?
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Not just the real you of who you are right now, but the real you of who you want to be most.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you aren't living in alignment with the person you most want to be, how could they?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: For example, my paternal grandmother passed away when I was in my late teens.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: She will always be an absolute saint to me.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: She's who I dedicated my first book to.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: She treated me so well and she loved me, and I have wonderful, fond memories of her and I growing up.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, she allowed me to travel to her home country to meet her family that she hadn't seen in years, and showed me around where she grew up, and she was just genuinely a wonderful person.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: But she never got to see me as the man I am today.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: I never got the time to genuinely express my love and my appreciation to her as a mature adult who is better able of communicating that.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: And let's be clear: the reason I am more capable of communicating these types of feelings now is not because I am just older.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's because I've dove into the depths of who I am.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: I've identified the behaviors and actions and aspects of my character I didn't like and have done my best to change them, and I continue to change them, right?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: I am continuously growing and changing over the course of time.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not perfect, I never will be.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: I still mess up all the time, but I am genuinely better than I used to be.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And to add to this example, my maternal grandmother, she lived another 10 to 15 years after my paternal grandmother.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so not only did she get to see me grow up for longer, I got to experience a friendship with that grandmother that I didn't necessarily get to experience with my other one because I wasn't yet the person capable of having that friendship.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I may be better than I used to be.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Better than that, really.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: I am more me than I have ever been.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And because that is true, because I have done so much work to allow myself to be able to express who I am with pride, the people in my life get to see that and they get to experience that.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: I actually get to give myself wholly to the people around me.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's genuinely one of the most fulfilling experiences I know of, to be honest, to be able to actually present all that I am to those people around me that I love most.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: But I was never able to fully do that with my grandmother.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And don't get me wrong, I'm not attributing shame to this experience.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: I was young when she passed.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: I was just doing my best to grow up.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And we did have a wonderful relationship that I love and remember dearly.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: But now, now that I know that I am capable of being a better, more genuine version of myself, now that I am aware that I can give more of myself to the people in my life around me, it's imperative that I do so.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: It is imperative that I expend energy developing myself into a person that is better capable of connecting, better capable of presenting who I am in my entirety, all my errors and my faults and failures as well as my successes, but who I genuinely am to the people around me.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't want my existence on this planet to be just a loose thread that gets plucked off and thrown away.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: I want the people I am close to to know that they got every ounce of me.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: And in order for that to happen, I need to do the work on myself to make sure I am capable of giving it before those people are gone, before I'm gone, because there aren't too many unique privileges on this planet like that one.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I want to share with you today is that your personal development, your growth into the most mature, capable, thriving version of yourself, it's not done just in a silo.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: When you build yourself into the great man or woman that you are capable of being, the one that I know you are capable of being, the person who has overcome the compulsive behaviors that you dealt with as a child and into your early adult life, the one who started to work out more, the one who started to take actions that led to greater financial freedom, more responsibility, just like a generally better version of you.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: The one who lives in alignment with your values and declares to the world what you want, how you feel, what you're after, you change the world around you by doing so.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: And by doing so, you are able to form more whole, genuine relationships with the people that you love.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: And they are able to form those relationships with you too.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because by working on yourself, you genuinely can make the world a better place through the relationships that you form.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: But you only get so much time to do that.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: I wish that I was able to share who I am now with my late paternal grandmother.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: But because I can't, I will honor that desire by being the best version of myself who can share myself with the people I still have left.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope you do the same.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways, that was my thought for today.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you have a wonderful day, and I'll talk to you next time.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Peace.