Latest / Cumberland Trace Church of Christ (Formerly Lehman Ave Church of Christ) / Equipped 2026: "Moses and Jesus on Marriage" by Denny Petrillo

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Equipped 2026: "Moses and Jesus on Marriage" by Denny Petrillo · Cumberland Trace Church of Christ (Formerly Lehman Ave Church of Christ)

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  Good morning, everyone. It's good to see you. Thank you so much for coming to this
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  particular session. Many or most of you know Thomas B. Warren, and it was said
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  that as he was nearing the end of his life, someone asked him, what do you
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  consider to be perhaps the greatest challenge to the Lord's Church in the
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  coming decades? And Brother Warren said without missing a beat that marriage,
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  divorce, remarriage would be one, if not the biggest challenge to the Lord's
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  Church. Well, here we are a few years after his passing, and that is continuing to be
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  true. But it's not just a 21st century problem, it's a problem that existed
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  during the days of Jesus. If you've got your Bibles open to Matthew chapter 19,
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  we'll see that the Pharisees came to Jesus testing him. And when we think
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  about what was it about the question, which was, can a man, is it lawful for a
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  man to divorce his wife for any cause at all? What was it about that that would
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  make it a test? Well, we have to understand the culture of the first
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  century times. There were basically three predominant opinions that are attached
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  to particular rabbis. One rabbi was a rabbi by the name of Hillel, and all three of
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  these rabbis were making comments on Deuteronomy chapter 24 verses 1-4.
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  Now, that was what Moses had to say as far as the idea of remarriage, because
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  there was nothing in the Mosaic law, nothing that had been said previous to
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  Deuteronomy chapter 24. And the rabbis did extensive discussions as to the
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  meaning of what that passage in Deuteronomy 24 was supposed to be. So
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  Hillel focused on one particular phrase, or one particular Hebrew word
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  pronounced dabar. The word dabar is a thing, and the text is a thing of
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  indecency. Now, what Hillel did with that is he talked about the smallest
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  violation. He talked about the burning of a dish, the burning of toast. And anybody
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  that has done any cooking at all has burned something, and so you think, was
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  this really a regulation? Or was it basically an open door to any man that
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  would want to divorce his wife? And of course, that would be exactly what would
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  happen. She made one small infraction. Well, that gave him the right to divorce
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  her. And then Shammai was the other prominent rabbi during this time. He
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  focused on more of a phrase, or bapdabar, that talked about found some
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  indecency in her. And Shammai interpreted this to mean sexual unfaithfulness, that
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  he could divorce her, according to Mosaic law, Deuteronomy 24, if there had
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  been sexual unfaithfulness found in her. Now, you'll notice that all of this is
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  coming from what was reported in the Mishnah, in a particular tractate called
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  getim, which is actually the Hebrew word that means a certificate of divorce. And
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  so the entire tractate has to do with that certificate of divorce. There was a
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  third rabbi that was one that lived a little bit later, but he formulated and
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  expressed this third viewpoint of Deuteronomy 24, and that's a rabbi by the
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  name of Akabah. He focused on the phrase in Deuteronomy 24, that she'd find no
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  favor in his eyes. Notice he's going to a different part of the text
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  than Eliel and Shammai did, and now that she'd find no favor in his eyes. And he
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  said he could divorce her if he found one fairer than she. Now we say that
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  beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, right? And so a man might be married to
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  the most beautiful woman in the world, but in his eyes he finds another woman
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  more attractive. And so ultimately he could say, well I'm going to divorce her
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  because I have found one fairer than she. When all this boils down, you've got
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  three predominant positions, and only one really has very little wiggle room, and
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  that's the position of Shammai. But Hillel, she burns a dish. Akabah, you find
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  one fairer. The doors are swung wide open as far as the idea of divorcing and
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  remarrying. And so the Pharisees are coming to Jesus with a trap question. Is
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  it lawful for a man who divorces his wife for any cause at all? If Jesus says, yes, he
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  can divorce her for any cause at all, basically agreeing with Akabah and with
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  Hillel, then they're going to say, well Jesus doesn't take a solid view of the
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  Mosaic law, agreeing with Shammai. But if Jesus says he cannot divorce her for any
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  reason at all, but only for sexual unfaithfulness, therefore agreeing with
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  Shammai, then they will then default and say, well he doesn't agree with Hillel,
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  and later the position espoused by Akabah, which was the popular view.
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  According to Josephus, that was what most people believed about Deuteronomy
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  chapter 24. So there's the trap right there. Jesus goes this way, they're going
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  to go that way. Jesus goes this way, they're going to go that way. And so they
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  think they've got a pretty good plan in order to entrap Jesus, because anything
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  he says is going to be used against him. Jesus starts at a place that they're not
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  thinking that he is going to start, and that is going to God's original plan. Now
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  his answer falls into three parts that are all based upon their question, and
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  is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause or any reason?
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  All right, part number one is Jesus goes to God's original plan for marriage, and
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  that's what has to be taken into consideration. These Pharisees are
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  starting in the wrong place, and starting with the wrong attitude. Jesus says to
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  them, have you not read? That's not the first time or the last time that Jesus
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  will use that, but their failure to really understand the Old Testament text
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  is what has led them to this position of trying to always counter what it is that
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  Jesus is doing. That he who created them from the beginning made them male and
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  female. All right, let's, Jesus says, go to the beginning, and what it was that God did
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  in his original plan. He says in that original plan that a man will leave his
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  father and mother, be joined to his wife. So when we think about that original
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  plan, God could have done it other ways. He could have, instead of Adam and Eve, it
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  could have been Adam and Steve. He could have done it that way. Or instead of Adam and Eve, it
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  could have been Adam and Eve and Ivana. He gives him two wives. But what did he do? One man, one
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  woman, Adam and Eve. And the way that God did that was telling us of his intentions
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  in establishing the most important human relationship in marriage. One man, one
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  woman for life. The Pharisees have a heart problem. The very fact that they are coming
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  to Jesus, testing him, rather than think about the significance of the marriage
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  relationship and what God did in the beginning, in that original statement,
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  through the writings of Moses, was what was being ignored rather than considered
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  of God's original plan. What was it that God wanted for marriage? One man, one
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  woman for life. What was it the Pharisees are doing? Can a man divorce for any cause?
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  They're looking for ways to undo what it was that is establishing God's original
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  intention that was given in the book of Genesis. Part number two, he says, for this
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  reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, shall be joined to his wife,
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  and they shall become one flesh. When we think about this particular point number two of Jesus,
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  the bond in creation, that is becoming one flesh, is that which continues with all marriages. Now
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  let's think a little bit about this particular phrase. First of all, it's not
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  just a reference to the sex relationship. I know that in a lot of reading that
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  I've done on this, that that is kind of the default explanation, but the phrase
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  means a whole lot more than that. Now I am aware that Paul uses the phrase in
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  1st Corinthians 6, but that phrase in that context is not the same as the
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  context in which Jesus is using it in Matthew 19. Now it does include the
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  sexual relationship, but it's not just talking about that. It includes having
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  the same goals and intentions. You leave your father and mother, you cleave to
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  your wife. So there are some very intentional, specific actions that are
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  taking place. The idea of leaving and cleaving. Jesus says that there are no
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  longer two. Been to weddings where the couple, they have two candles and then
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  they bring the candles together and have one flame. Or maybe you've seen the
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  two different bottles that have blue sand in it and pink sand in it, and then
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  they pour that in. Well, we're expressing the idea of now becoming one. Can
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  you separate that flame now that that flame has been joined into one? Well, no,
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  you can't. When Jesus is talking about becoming one flesh, he's trying to
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  convey an attitude of the impossibility of separation. Notice how that flies
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  against the very question that the Pharisees are asking. Can a man divorce
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  for any cause at all? And Jesus says, Moses said, the two become one flesh. Now, when we
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  think about our bodies, you could not split your body into two and still live.
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  You could not take an animal and split the body of that animal in two and that
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  animal is going to continue to live. And so when we look at marriage the way God
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  wants us to look at marriage, the two become one flesh and as a result see
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  themselves as inseparable for the rest of their lives. And so when I became
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  married almost 50 years ago, Kathy and I became one flesh and it's now
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  Denny and Kathy. As a matter of fact, anybody that knows us, it's just natural, it's Denny and Kathy. It's not Denny and Kathy, it's Denny and Kathy. Because we are now a
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  partnership. That's the intention that God has for marriage, that they are no
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  longer two but one flesh. Divorce and the very thing that the Pharisees are
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  trying to kind of encourage in their society is breaking that particular
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  unity that was a part of God's original plan. And then part number three of the
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  answer that Jesus gives, he says what God has joined together, let no man
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  separate. Let's think about this joining that God has. If God is the one that
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  joined, then only God can be the one who unjoins. Now, I don't know if that's a word or not, but we just made it one.
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  The Pharisees are out of their lane. They have surpassed the authority that
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  they should have. Because Jesus says, what God has joined together, let no man
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  separate. They're in the separating business, God is in the joining business. God is one man, one woman for life and they're looking for
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  ways out. And Jesus is saying, if God joined them together, what are you doing, you
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  Pharisees, to try to come up with explanations like Hillel has or like
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  Aqaba has, like a common belief of the people of the time have, in looking for
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  ways to separate. Well, many today, as in Jesus' day, presume to do this. When we look at the statistics of the number of divorces, it is still astonishing, the number of divorces that we have in our world today. Man is not to be in the separating business. The Pharisees are out of their lane. And rather than looking for opportunities to
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  repair and to patch marriages that are struggling, which happens, they're looking
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  for opportunities for someone to get out. Only God's Word can provide the basis for
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  divorce and remarriage. Now, I'm tempted to do a deeper dive on that particular
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  statement because it really reflects the culture that we live in, where easy
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  divorce is something that is very prevalent in our society and it has been
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  my experience, probably yours too, that that's pretty much what's happening in
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  the church, is there is just a lot of divorce and we kind of accepted it as a
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  part of the world in which we live. And so we see it portrayed in movies, we read
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  about it in books, it's something that we constantly are seeing in daily life.
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  And so we've just kind of become accustomed to the fact there's a whole
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  lot of divorcing and remarrying that has taken place. But only God's Word has the
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  right to establish the parameters for divorce and remarriage. When we get to
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  verses 7 and 8, we now get to the pushback on the part of the Pharisees.
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  Jesus did not answer their question, if you think about that. But yeah, he really
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  kind of did. They were looking for a real quick, can a man divorce, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?
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  Kind of a yes or no, and Jesus gives them a history lesson. He gives them an Old
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  Testament reminder lesson, and they understood what he was saying, and so it's like,
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  yeah, but what about what it was that Moses said in their appeal to Deuteronomy
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  chapter 24, which we were talking about just a minute ago. He says, why then did Moses
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  command her to give a certificate and divorce her? All right, they're
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  referencing Deuteronomy 24 verse 1. Now, that passage was one that had given them so much
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  attention that they completely ignored what had already been said and
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  established by God as far as their marriage relationship in Genesis chapter 2.
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  Now, a real quick point, and if you've read much on this, you have probably seen
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  people make a big deal about this. They say, why did Moses command? And Jesus
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  says in verse 8, Moses permitted. And I've seen these guys make a big deal that
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  Pharisees say he commanded this, but Jesus said no, he permitted it. Don't make a
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  point of that, please, and the reason why you should not is because when you look
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  at the parallel account of this in Mark chapter 10, the words are reversed.
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  They said Moses permitted and Jesus said he commanded, and so there's not a point
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  to be made on that, so don't make a point out of it. They're basically
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  saying the same thing. Now, why, they ask, did Moses command that a certificate be
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  given and divorce her? That's really where they wanted to get to. They're
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  wanting to get to, what is your interpretation of Deuteronomy chapter 24?
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  Well, Jesus goes on to explain in the next verse, and he says, because of
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  the hardness, because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce
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  your wives, but from the beginning, it has not been this way. Jesus already walked them
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  through the beginning, and he says in the beginning, there's one man, one woman for
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  life. That was what God wanted, and so what about Deuteronomy 24, though? The
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  Pharisees are asking, what are we going to do with that? Jesus explains that God
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  permitted this, but was not what he wanted for marriage, which means that the
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  earlier statement where God established marriage in Deuteronomy, in Genesis 2 24,
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  is the default passage. Don't default to Deuteronomy 24, default to what God did
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  in the very beginning, but Jesus does explain that it was because of the
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  hardness of heart. This is an interesting phrase that is one where God
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  sometimes allows that which he doesn't like. We see a parallel example of this
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  in 1st Samuel chapter 8 and verse 6, where they wanted a king, God didn't want
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  them to have a king. He was their king, but the people, because of their
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  stubbornness and their desire to be like the nations, they insisted on having a
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  king, and God said, all right, we'll let you have a king, but it's not going to
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  work out well for you. Well, Jesus is putting Deuteronomy 24 in that same kind
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  of bucket and saying, all right, you can divorce, but it's not going to work out
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  well for you. Well, how is it not worked out well for them? Well, because of the
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  train wreck of interpretations of Deuteronomy 24 would be a good place to
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  start, because rapid marriage and divorce and the flippant way in which the
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  rabbis treated the text in Deuteronomy 24, with the exception of Shammai, is one
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  that created the problem where you could divorce if she burned a dish, you
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  could divorce if you found someone prettier, and so the door was in fact
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  wide open for marriage and divorce, and that was the environment that was
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  created. But Jesus says what you should have done, is gone back to the very
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  beginning, and look at God's original plan in what he established in the
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  marriage relationship. Then we get to verse 9. Verse 9 is when Jesus now is
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  going to directly answer the question that they have asked, is it lawful for a
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  man to divorce his wife for any cause? Because this verse is such a key verse,
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  I want to break it down into its various parts. He begins with the phrase, and I
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  say unto you, Jesus is the authority. We already learned, if you went back to
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  chapter 17 on the Mount of Transfiguration, that Jesus was there
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  with Moses and Elijah, and Peter is wanting to equate the three of them, but
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  Moses and Elijah disappear, and the voice from heaven says, this is my beloved son,
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  hear ye him. No longer listen to Moses, that impacts what we're looking at in
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  chapter 19. You no longer listen to the prophets represented but with Elijah, but
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  now we're listening to Jesus, and as we see in the, for example, in the Sermon on
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  the Mount, you have heard that it was said, but I say unto you, six times in
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  chapter 5 does Jesus give that particular contrast. This is what has
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  been said, but I say unto you, Jesus is the Logos. He is the Word of God. He is
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  now telling us what true righteousness is, and so he is establishing his
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  authority as the Messiah, as the Son of God, and it's Hebrews 1, 1, and 2, that God
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  spoke to the fathers and the prophets in many portions and in many ways, and in
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  these last days has spoken to us in his Son. So Jesus is telling us what's what
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  when it comes to not only this topic, but all of the other things that he
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  taught on. He says, whosoever, this is a word that means all those created by God.
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  It is not a word, and I know that I've read, and you probably have too, those
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  that say that this is covenant language, it only applies to Christians, and
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  nothing that Jesus is saying applies to those that are outside of Christ. That is
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  not true. It does not align itself with the meaning of the word whosoever. It is
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  the word that is in reference to all those created by God. God's marriage law
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  applies to all of humanity. It does not just apply to Christians. Passages like
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  2 Thessalonians 1, 7 through 9 would indicate that, and 1st
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  Corinthians 6, 9, and 10 would also show this to be true. Then he says, third,
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  whoever divorces his wife. The word divorce is the same word that we have in
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  verse 3, 7, and 8. Now the reason why I'm stating the obvious is because there are
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  those that have argued that Jesus is kind of changing what really is the
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  subject when we get to verse 9, when we get to the word divorce, and that is that
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  we are now not talking about a man, a husband, and a wife who are going through
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  a legal process of separating, breaking up their marriage, but now we're talking
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  about something that is labeled covenant breaking. And we'll say a little bit
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  more about that. And so the reason why I'm saying it's the same word, verse 3,
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  verse 7, verse 8, now verse 9, is because exegetically you can't flip-flop and say
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  now we're talking about something different than what we were talking
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  about from the very beginning of their original question. They're asking, how do
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  we break up marriages? That's what they're asking. And so the word divorce
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  consistently is talking about that. So it's a common word for divorce, which is
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  the subject. He's not changing into a different kind of topic here. The next
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  phrase, except for fornication. The word except means that this is the only reason
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  that God allows divorce and remarriage. Notice how now the question asked in
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  verse 3 is being answered in the most direct way, and that is, Jesus says
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  fornication. That's it. He uses a word there that is porneia. Porneia is
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  translated fornication, sexual unfaithfulness. It is not a word that is
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  confusing in the sense of what is meant by it, and it is clear that fornication,
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  porneia, is the only legitimate and God-approved reason for divorce and
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  remarriage. That's it. Now they ask the question, is it lawful for a man to
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  divorce his wife for any cause? And now when we get to verse 9, Jesus directly,
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  specifically, and clearly answers their question and says one reason. Porneia.
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  That's it. What does she put on the toast? Porneia. That's it. What if you find one
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  prettier? Porneia. That's it. One reason and one reason only. In Jesus's words
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  demonstrate that the innocent party is putting away or divorcing the guilty
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  party. They are being given, the innocent party, the right, based on porneia, to
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  divorce. Now they're asking the question, can a man divorce his wife for any cause
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  at all? And now Jesus is saying, alright, you can divorce. If the mate is guilty of
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  porneia, you can divorce and you can marry again. Jesus goes on to say, and
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  marries another commits adultery. Now the Pharisees' question did not say
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  anything about remarriage, but I think we know that that was really the game
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  plan all along, right? They're not just looking for ways to get out of marriage.
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  They know that a man wants to marry, divorce, so he can marry someone else.
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  And so Jesus is going ahead and answering that which they did not
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  specifically ask, but certainly was on their mind. Adultery is another word,
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  moikeia or moikeia tai. That means unlawful sexual intercourse with the
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  mate of another. Alright, that's what the word means. And there have been those who
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  have played fast and loose with the meaning of this word, as they have with
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  the word divorce, but that's the normal understood meaning of this
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  particular word. And the conjunction end shows Jesus is not here concerned just
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  about the sin of divorce, but with the practice of divorcing and remarrying.
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  Jesus does call the second union a marriage, but it's an adulterous marriage.
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  Have you heard the argument that if the Bible calls something a marriage, then
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  it's God approved? But that's ridiculous. It's simply not true. And this is a
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  case in point. As a matter of fact, if you go back to Matthew 14, when you read
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  about the union of Herod and Herodias, both Matthew and Mark record that as
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  marriage, but John says it's not a God approved marriage. And so obviously you
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  can use the word marriage, but that doesn't mean that it has received God's
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  stamp of approval on that. So it's a marriage, but it's an adulterous marriage
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  if you divorce for a reason other than pordaia, sexual unfaithfulness, and marry
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  again, well that would be adultery. And so he says, except for that one reason, if
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  you divorce and marry again, you're guilty. Guilty of what? Guilty of
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  committing adultery. Now this particular phrase is one that has created quite a
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  bit of discussion, and I wish we had time to do a deeper study in this, because
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  it's exhausting to me on the technical gymnastics that people are going through
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  in order to excuse away, explain away this particular text. And like what? One
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  is that what Jesus is using here is known as an anomic present. What is that?
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  It's argued that it should be, if it's anomic present, should be understood as
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  point action, almost with the force of an heiress verb, and that the sin is marrying, but can
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  live together without further sin. Alright, so if you understand that, then
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  basically the wedding night, you commit adultery, but the second night you're
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  okay. You just committed adultery that very first night. Covenant breaking, there's no
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  language here to indicate we're talking about the breaking of a contract. We're
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  talking about marriage and divorce. And is it just an old law teaching? Well, this
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  is one that is to be understood and applied universally. I have an article on
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  that if you're interested in studying that particular point some more. So Jesus
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  gives the one and only exception, and that's porneia. That's the answer to the
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  question. Okay, all right. The disciples understood what Jesus said. They saw the
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  rigidity in what Jesus said, and I asked people the question, does your explanation
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  of what the Bible teaches on marriage and divorce, would it elicit the same
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  reaction that the disciples did? And most of the time the answer is no. But Jesus
• 36:29
  gave one reason. Porneia, that's it. That's the answer to the question. Thank you very
• 36:36
  much for your attention.