Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Use A Wingwoman To Find Your Man

Transcript

Use A Wingwoman To Find Your Man · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to I Do Part two. I'm Kelly ben Simone,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: one of your celebrity mentors here on the pod, and
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited because today.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: I am joined with someone who's already been on the show.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: We loved getting to hear your story and how you're
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: opening up about finding love again. It's Jana Kramer's best
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: friend Pamelin back on the pod. Oh my god, I'm
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: so excited to meet you. We're live from iHeart Verbo
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: podcast House at Bottle Rock, and Wow, this place is incredible.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: We're in Villa Montabella, one of Verbo's vacation rentals of
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: the Year in twenty twenty four, and it's everything you
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: could dream of. Seriously, the wine cave is insane. And
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: if you want your own amazing vacation rental, down tho
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: the Verbo app and out there twenty twenty five vacation
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: rentals of the Year. Trust us, you won't be disappointed.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: So I mentioned that you were on the pod before,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: and I was listening to all of your chats with
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Jana and you're incredible and so open and so gorgeous.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Your Instagram is insane. I just learned recently you're not
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: supposed to use words like incredible, insane, all the words
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: that I use that are my go tos, you're not
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: supposed to use.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: Any I saw the list, and honestly, what other words
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: are we supposed to use?
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: I know?
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: So how am I supposed to say, like, wow, well
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: let's just go rogue and just do whatever we want?
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Pamela.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Love that.
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: I love that.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: So first of all, let's for those who are listening,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: just a quick recap of you know, where you.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Are in your life.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: So you and jan are best friends, You guys are neighbors. Yes,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: you build houses next to each other. Yes, and Jana
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: may or not be babysit your daughter right now.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: Yes, Okay, So it takes a village, for sure, it
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: takes I just like counted, there were seven women involved
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: in helping me take care of my kids for forty
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: eight hours just to be able to leave.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: You know how beautiful is that?
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: That is amazing?
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  Speaker 3: I mean it's a lot, but it's still like, you know,
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  Speaker 3: a village, and I don't know what I would do
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  Speaker 3: without that.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: So I raised my kids in New York City, I
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: did not have that same village. There were forty eight
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  Speaker 1: strangers but they were not women that I knew.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: But anyway, my kids are fine. They're fine.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: You know, strangers are great. So that's amazing, and that's
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: just so nice. You can come here and feel good
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: because you, you know, are taking care of your children
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: and working out and cooking and telling us everything on
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: your Instagram, which I love. I was feeling very insecure today.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, do I do some push ups beforehand?
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Or should I just go to the gym?
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Or do I not eat?
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: I always eat?
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Please, That's what I'm trying to like tell every woman,
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: you know, low calories is not the option.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Right, and I think too, which you're such a great
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: new role model to the Pod because you're single, you're
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: looking for love, but you're not like on the hunt.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: You are organically open to finding love. And like last
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: night we were in the Cave.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: How cool is that one?
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, amazing, amazing.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: I know. I walked in there. I was like, this
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: is so cinematic, wasn't it?
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: It was? Even the pictures made it look like that.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: I just was like, oh my god, this place is amazing.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: The food was incredible. We had so much fun. The
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: table was like so fun like every went from bacheloration,
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  Speaker 1: the housewise well.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: In so many Yeah, different age groups and just different
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  Speaker 3: walks of life, just all coming together.
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  Speaker 2: And couples that have been together for fifteen years. You know,
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: you and I are single.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: It's just like a fun mix of all these different people.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: And we had a really interesting conversation and I loved
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  Speaker 1: what you said about meeting people, and you said that
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: when you meet people, you are open to a relationship,
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: but you know, and you have relationships for long periods
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: of time.
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  Speaker 2: It's not like you're like in and out like some people.
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  Speaker 1: Just the nature of the beasts, because we're like all
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: these apps and so much opportunity that we're meeting people,
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: and it's like going on one or two dates, but
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  Speaker 1: you're really like you want to be with someone, you
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: want to get to know them, and you want.
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  Speaker 2: You know, you're really looking for that person.
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  Speaker 1: But you're not like, Okay, I'm just going to go
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  Speaker 1: one or two dates and then fall in love and yeah, can.
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  Speaker 2: You talk more about that?
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  Speaker 4: Sure?
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  Speaker 3: I mean I think you have to be you know,
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  Speaker 3: intentional number one and not just have like hopes for
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: somebody's potential and really like hone in on you know truly, like,
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  Speaker 3: what is this person you know, going to.
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  Speaker 4: Like do for me?
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  Speaker 3: And in return, like what can I you know, do
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  Speaker 3: for them to better their lives?
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  Speaker 4: Because at this.
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  Speaker 3: Point in our lives we have a lot of things.
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  Speaker 3: We have careers, we have our children, we have homes,
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  Speaker 3: we have this life that we've already built, and so
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  Speaker 3: if we're going to let somebody in and you know,
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  Speaker 3: invest in that energy, it has to be like the
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  Speaker 3: jackpot for me anyway.
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: The jackpot. Do you guys?
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  Speaker 1: Hear that hashtag the jackpot? Pamelin is telling us that's
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: what we want. Maybe that should be the new app
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: called the Jackpot. I love that It's She's like the jackpot,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: mic drop. So when we're looking for that jackpot is
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: the single dad? Would you ever consider dating anyone who
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: is single dad?
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  Speaker 3: I think ideally that would probably make the most sense
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  Speaker 3: because they truly understand that we're not going to be
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: each other's main priority like ever, you know, I mean,
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: it's it's your kids and then I think yourself should
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: come next, or maybe even yourself first, then your kids, right,
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  Speaker 3: because if we're not you know, mentally stable, and we're
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  Speaker 3: not at at peace, nobody is.
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  Speaker 4: Going to thrive, you know, and then it's like we're
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: talking then we're talking third place.
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  Speaker 3: And so if somebody, if somebody can't understand.
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: That third base, third place is.
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  Speaker 3: Somebody can't understand that, then it's it's it's going to
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  Speaker 3: be a little bit of a situation.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: Have you ever had a conversation with someone and been like,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: by the way, like you're going to be third place?
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  Speaker 4: And what do they say? Well, if they're a single dad,
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  Speaker 4: they they get it.
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  Speaker 3: They're in They're like freaking sign me up, because this
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  Speaker 3: is exactly what they're thinking.
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  Speaker 4: And and hoping.
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  Speaker 3: I think most you know, are hoping that there are
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  Speaker 3: women out there that also, you know, think like that.
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  Speaker 3: And I think both men and women we get like scared,
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  Speaker 3: you know what if we don't give that person enough,
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: like are they gonna, you know, not want to us,
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  Speaker 3: Like do we have to be this, you know, drop
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: everything type of situation? And I don't think it has
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  Speaker 3: to be like that. And for me, it won't be
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  Speaker 3: like that or else I'm just not going to do it.
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  Speaker 3: I'm just going to like stay in my happy, beautiful
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  Speaker 3: little life with my community and my village and my
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  Speaker 3: kids and my company and.
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  Speaker 4: Travel and be so you know, so so happy.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I do believe that somebody can make me even happier.
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  Speaker 3: And I'm super excited for that opportunity. And you know,
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  Speaker 3: I mean I visualize it. I'm like, you know, you
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  Speaker 3: get excited about it. But I'm also not going to
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  Speaker 3: romanticize something that's just not there or if that's not possible,
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  Speaker 3: or that maybe somebody is not capable of.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, so what if they haven't been married before, but
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  Speaker 1: they do have kids.
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  Speaker 3: Oh I don't care about that. Yeah, I don't care
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  Speaker 3: about that. And again I say, ideally would be a
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  Speaker 3: single dad. But I'm not closed off to somebody that's
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  Speaker 3: like super emotionally just in charge and understands that, you know,
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  Speaker 3: I have kids and that's you know, my main priority.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, I think that there are also like people
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  Speaker 3: out there that are so evolved in thinking like that
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  Speaker 3: and realize if they're getting into a relationship, you know,
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  Speaker 3: with a woman like that, that that's just like not
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  Speaker 3: going to be the case. And I mean the older
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  Speaker 3: we get, the older men get, the older women get.
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  Speaker 3: We want to do our own thing, Like we want
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  Speaker 3: the freedom to travel and to you know, make our
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  Speaker 3: own decisions and not at the check in like hey,
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  Speaker 3: I'm running to the store.
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  Speaker 4: I mean, you know.
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  Speaker 3: And so to have freedom like that, I think is
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  Speaker 3: the magic formula. I think a lot of times like
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: the demise of relationships are the mundane and like these
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  Speaker 3: just you know, daily things that kind of can get
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  Speaker 3: very boring if you're not spicing it up and making
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: a conscious effort to really invest in your relationship. And
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: you do that together because you have children together and
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  Speaker 3: you're married, and this is what you kind of signed
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  Speaker 3: up for, and that's just like you know, the societal norms.
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  Speaker 3: But when you get out of a marriage and you're
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: not in that like thing that everybody you know, this
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  Speaker 3: normal right and quotes relationship that everybody says that you're
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: supposed to do X, Y and Z, you have this
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  Speaker 3: abundance of freedom to like make your own rules and
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: do whatever you want in that next relationship. And so
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: that's where I'm at. R Okay, like I'm going unconventional.
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  Speaker 1: See I've just been single for you know, over fifteen years,
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: and then I went and had that little blip. But
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  Speaker 1: it's funny when you're talking about this, I sing it
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  Speaker 1: up like I just want like my like love language
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: is like the normal sea and the consistency and like
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: having breakfast together and like making plans and like you.
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: Know what, you're going to the market.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: You want, you know, a coffee? Sure like that.
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: I'm like creating. I love that.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: That's Ford, Illinois.
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  Speaker 3: Your kids are older, right, so you have that space,
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  Speaker 3: you have that capacity if.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: I wanted that when they were younger.
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  Speaker 4: See, I don't.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: I tried to create it.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: I was like, I raised my kids with a suburban
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: urban lifestyle whatever that means. Like so like Megan Markle,
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know, I tried to like create
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: this environment for them that was like every day, but
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: then we were also living in this wild, big city
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: and so I always like, that's I think one reason
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: why they are very like And I don't want to
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: say real because that's just sounds so that's.
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: One of those weird words.
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  Speaker 2: But well rounded, thank you.
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: So yeah, But I guess I.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: Just always wanted that. I just always wanted that. I
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: don't want the spice, I want the call.
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  Speaker 4: I want the spice I need. Oh, I just want
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: for it. My name is Kelly, I'm a leo.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the jungle, And I think eventually, you know, I'll
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: be forty seven and my kids are nine and eleven,
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  Speaker 3: and so.
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: They it's a daily thing.
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  Speaker 3: There's sports like crazy, there's they they need me a
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: lot right now. And so you know, when we talk
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: about the capacity, like what what is how much do
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: I have, you know, to give to somebody? And so
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: I and I'm selfish about the time I have with
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: my kids because now I only have them seventy percent
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: of the time.
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: So when I'm with them.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: It's it's, you know, very intimate, and it's like I
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: drop everything so that I can really focus on that time.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: And I'm not not saying that it can't overlap, you
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: know a little bit, but I think that I would
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: more so be thinking like you when they get you know,
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: a little bit older, and I have some and I'm
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: also scaling my company and trying to build this you know,
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: empire too, which is super important because I have to
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: take care of myself and my kids right monetarily, So
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: I need to.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Know.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: But I get that I love the simple thing. And
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: when I say spice it up, I don't like to
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: go out all the time. I don't do anything like that.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: I don't even really drink it's not that that kind
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: of spice, but it's like let's have let's go and
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: we'll meet here for a chill weekend, you know, and
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: then we'll go here, and you know, maybe it's like
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: every other week when I don't have my kids, I
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: go to where he lives. Every other week he comes
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: for three days where I live. I mean, I think
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: that's like the flexibility and that like unconventional approach that
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: I think would work best for me right now. And
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: so I think subconsciously that's why I don't really date
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: in Nashville.
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: I don't want you up in my backyard.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: I don't want you up in my backyard.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: What about your children? Are they like Mommy, like, oh.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: They can't wait. They just want me to have And
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: so anytime I've dated, look.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: On TV and like that should be our daddy, give
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: their dad and they yeah, but like but they love that.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: They they So anytime I've dated anybody, they do not know.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: I've never involved them and any of it. They've never
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: met anybody. And I just try to stay like compartmentalize
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: those two things right now. And that's not going to
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: be forever. And there probably wasn't anybody that was you know,
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: worth them meeting, but they just can't wait. Yeah, they
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: want all of these other step you know, brothers and sisters,
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: and they're like very specific on what they want.
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: They want older brothers and sisters. Yeah, they want that
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: whole crew.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: It's interesting because like my kids would be like when
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: they were younger, I would say I want a family
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: for my family and I've always wanted that.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: I told you that before, and my kids would be.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: Like, okay, what does that mean? We have to share
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: with people your time. Now they're just like, Mom, we
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: just want you to like have a friend because like
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: you're like bothering us and there's only so much aloe
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: we can buy together, like we need you.
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: Need to have somebody else to call.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: And so they're sweet and they're obviously older now they're
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: twenty four and twenty seven, but it's just isn't it,
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Like I need would never tell my mom, Like I
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: can't imagine like telling my mom like, you know, oh
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: you should do this.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: I never time.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: I never told my mom she should do anything. I
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: just reported for duty. Whatever she told me to do,
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: I did well. And my mom was divorced oh twice.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: So she divorced my dad when I was like four,
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: and then she got remarried and got divorced again. So
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: I mean I kind of like went through you know,
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: her whole like evolution of dating thing.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean when she I was I think fourteen
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: when she divorced my stepdad, so like right in the
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: height of you know, high school on adulthood and trying
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: to like figure all of that out. And then she's
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: simultaneously trying to figure out.
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: And I look back, and.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: You know, she was like my age even younger when
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: she was going through that second divorce, and so you
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: you you look at that situation differently now that now
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: that I'm going through it, and you know, you you
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: really just, yeah, your heart almost like you know, breaks her.
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: Do you guys talk about that? You guys like she
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: really helped me.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: And honestly, because I saw her go through it, and
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: because I saw her just crush life and build, you know,
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: and build her life, you know, after these two divorces,
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: I think that helped me know that I could do it.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: Also, two siblings.
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: I have a brother, yeah, as the older I eighteen
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: months younger. Okay, so he's like a twin, like me.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: I have a twin brother, an actual twin brother, though,
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Oh you do.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: But isn't it interesting when you have that a close
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: like opposite sex, how it's kind of like how you
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: see relationships differently.
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: You respect the opposite sex.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: Differently when you have that. Yeah, that's so nice that
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: you're so sweet about your mom.
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: I mean, I had a great mom, but I didn't
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: have that kind of connection with her. Again, it was
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: like reporting for duty.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: I just well, she to also say, because she was
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: you know, and back then, I mean in the eighties,
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: the divorce was so different. The child custody was so different.
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: It was like I got to see my dad every
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: other weekend. It's not like that anymore. Well, I mean
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: for most people, it's not really like that anymore. And
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: so she was really like the main one, you know that.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: And so our relationship was great, but she all my
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: friends with my mom's my best friend. It wasn't like
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: that with my mom and I because she had to
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: almost like keep it a little bit separate.
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: She was the mom.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: She was, you know, the disciplinarian like, so she it
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: wasn't like we were.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Best friends, right, And I think that that's actually better
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: when there is kind of a buffer between a parent
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: and a child. I know it's difficult now with there's
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: so much divorce, but I just feel that sometimes when
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: my friends are like we're best friends, I'm like, okay,
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: so you guys chop together or you have lunch together,
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean that you're asking her her advice
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: or his advice, because just like the maturation process is
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: different and what they're going through and you went through,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: and how they're just their their experiences, they're just totally different.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: So I I mean, I will my kids always.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: Like kind of wanted to know, and I gave them
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: enough information so they felt included, but not enough that
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: where they were like they felt responsible.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah no, And I think that's responsible on your end.
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: And I think that you know.
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: Well, because.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: I think people are over sharing with their little kids especially,
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: and I just I'm just not going to do that.
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: And I I.
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: Just say, you know, mommy is so happy, you guys
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: like literally full of joy.
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: I have everything.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: And so when when that does happen, and it will,
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: I know that I'm not gonna, you know, not have
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: a significant of other or a lover. You know, that's
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: so intense like for the rest of my life.
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: I know that. And so when.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: I when I get there and it's appropriate, like you
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: will be the first to know.
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: I will be so excited to tell you. But right now,
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: well you know, mommy, mommy, get has nothing to tell you.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: Mamma's got a great bond, she's cool, she's got great friends,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: she's all set. Speaking of being all set and having
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: a great body and of like you know what you
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: what I mean? Obviously every guy wants to date you, clearly,
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: but what about you? What are you attracted to?
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: I think this is the fun part, and I think
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: that so many women in our situation focus on like
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: the heart right in the in the negative and like
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: how you know, it's a jungle out there, And for me,
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: I have embraced it where this is like Pamela and
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: two point zero version of what I like. So what
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: I liked my whole earlier, you know, life is has
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: clearly not worked out for me, right.
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: So so let's paint that picture.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: So what like what?
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Just like quickly like, what what were you interested in
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: or attracted to? And what are you now so you
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: can get a picture.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: Well I'm still figuring it out, but what I've been
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: what my past, Yeah, my past. I think it was
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: always you know, like very athletic, bigger, tall, maybe like
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: more alpha males, like a.
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: Lot of ego and like tall, a lot of I think.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: You know, ego perfect, a lot of ego there, probably
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: like not vulnerable enough. And then I I don't think
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: I required enough from them because I probably saw that they.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: Couldn't give that.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: Then I just thought that that was the norm.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: And what do you I mean, I'm not your therapist,
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: and I don't play one on TV. But what do
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: you Why do you think that you were attracted to
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: someone who wasn't giving you enough?
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: I know, right, like let's unpack it, I mean, still
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: unhacking it.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I was really just like attracted to
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: like the shiny.
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: Toy hot guy.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're also on LEO now that we know, now
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: that we know you're a star sign, we know that
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: you're a LEO, so you're probably like I can handle it.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: You do.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: Know anything about star signs? Don't ever anyone ever asked
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: me about a star signs?
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: I have no idea.
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: That's the thing. I mean.
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: I was, I was in my mind happy though with
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: these men because I just take it upon myself to
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: find my own happiness too, Like, I don't just look
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: at getting that from somebody. So I always had a
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: million friends, I was always doing my thing, I was
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: always growing my career, I was always working, and so
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: I really wasn't like just looking, you know, for somebody
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: to make me happy. But when I look back, they
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: were really giving, not much like at all.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: Right, and so now you want someone that's more empathetic more,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: I need vulnerable. How do you find a vulnerable guy?
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: I've found that, I've actually found two men. I've actually
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: found something maybe a little bit too oh god, oh
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: my god, but I've found because I'm not even accepting
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: anything less than that, and so I've definitely found them.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: I think that it's a little bit of digging, right.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: It's like, you know, you can tell by messages and
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: like questions, you can tell.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: See I'm like a one word answer kind of person,
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: like I'm chatty with you, but when I'm writing, I'm like, great,
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: fun looks good, Like I'm kind of like an AI.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: Well, I think if like you know, they're willing to
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: share things. And and that is the cool part about
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: being this age is we have a lot of depth.
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: We've all been through a lot, Yeah, and so I
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: think there is a lot to unpack and talk about.
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: And if you're going to act like like everything's you know,
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: roses all the time and not really like dig in,
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: I'm not really interested.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's like people are like, it's kind
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: of like the new version of trauma von where like
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: in your for in your like late forties, late thirties,
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: forties and fifties, or because you're saying, like to your point,
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: we have so much more experience and so now when
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: someone says something like I can empathize, Like if this
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: were ten years ago.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: I would be like, I'm sorry, what are you talking about?
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Like why are you telling me this?
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: No, we have no idea until you go through it.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Until you go through it, And so it's just I mean,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: it makes it I'm actually more interested to hear like
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: how they're navigating things, or how they dealt with their
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: ex wives or all those you know. Obviously in positive ways.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: I don't want to hear that adity, but yeah, I'm
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: like not into that, but you know, I really it
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: makes me feel more connected to them versus just like
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: being like do you want to give dinner.
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: Do you like red wine?
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: Do you impassa No? Like yeah, this temple No, if
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: you think and stuff like that, No.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: And it's so Yeah, I think it could be so
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: much more deep and so much more beautiful actually, because
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: if you think about, like you know, when you're younger
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: and you're just trying to write, like find your husband,
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: and you're in the first stage of all of that,
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: and you're out and you know, you're with your friends
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: and that's all that you really you have so much
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: time to do that. You have so much time to
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: find that person that'use that's all everybody's doing. They're just
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: out and about. There's not a ton of responsibilities. That's
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: like your your goal. On most people, that's their progression.
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: They're going to find their husband, they're going to have kids,
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: they're going to buy the house. I mean, that's the
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: stage that they're at. We're not at that stage. Yeah, so,
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: and we don't even have as much time as we
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: did then, so it's like you almost kind of.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: Gotta get to it.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah right, I'm pat quickly because I gotta go bring
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: a carry on back because I don't have time for
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: your whole.
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: Luggage I think this is the best question.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: I don't have time for your leuvatant trunk.
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: I think this is the best quote.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: Like, you know, you you start to like you have to,
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: you know, ask those questions. Don't jump into things too quickly.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: So it's like you hire slowly and you fire fast.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: So you're you start to ask those questions right like
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: you get you're kind of like in research mode. You're exploring,
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: you're asking all these questions, but you're asking the heart
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: and the right questions.
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: You're getting all your information. When women immediately.
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: After, like one day, they're like, oh, I'm in love,
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: he's the man, he's.
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: No girlfriend, You're it's not it's not it.
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: And so it drives me crazy when when people get
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: so hooked so quickly, because you really have to dig.
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: And then if it's not it, if it's not.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: A hell yes, get rid of done, move on, don't
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: hold on to it for these like hope that it's
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: going to be something that's I think the biggest mistake.
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: And then at this age, I don't have six.
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: Months to hold on to something that is making you
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: kind of know, you know.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: Jenna gave you some really good advice.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: We're not going to go over it because I want you,
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: I want the listeners to listen to Jenna's podcast with you.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: She gives you some really really good tips, So you
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: guys have to check that out. But what I do
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: want to know is that have you ever had a
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: fun wing woman who may be a slightly bit older
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: than you, hang out at bottle Rock listening to fun music.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: Have you ever had done that before?
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: I have never, because you know, right now, right like,
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: all my friends are married with three kids, nobody's going out,
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: nobody is having that situation.
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: So I would be honored if you could do that
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: with me. Today. We think we're going to crush it.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: We are going to have so much fun. So this
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: became like kind of like my thing. A couple of
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: months ago, we were at iHeartRadio for jingle Ball and
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: I took some some of my new friends out and
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: I just can't talk to anyone.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know if it's a blessing or
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: a curse, but I'm just like, hi, I'm Kelly, and
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: people are.
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: Like, okay, good because I can't. I'm not I'm shy.
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: I can't do that.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: And I literally will start asking them questions I'm just
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: like no, no, no, no, no no. So I'll be like
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: this is.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: And I can do it for you, but I get
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: really shy about me.
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: So this is going to be.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: But see, I can't do it for myself.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: I'm just like I will talk to people, but they're like,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: are you talking to me for yourself?
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: My no, no, no, my friend. I have this friend.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: She happens to be adopted, gorgeous, and she's staying next
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: to me.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, okay, so this is like important. So hypothetically you
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: and I are like out there in the wild and
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: the music wild, and we are attracted to the same guy.
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: What are we going to do? Do we like the
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: same kind of guy? Do we know this? Are we
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: going for?
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: What about what's your age range?
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: My age range?
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: Is we overlap? For sure? But I think so a
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: little bit.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: I mean I just I don't mind a little bit younger,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: but not too much older, Like I can't do seventy
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: and I because I'm just wildly immature.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: So that would just not work at all. Can you
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: see me with the seven year old?
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: I would be like running circle.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: It's not about being fit, like I don't It's like
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: the people the guys are like, oh, you were models.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: You must like people that are really fit. I'm like,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: that's not true.
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: I just like that's me. You like fit.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like the fit jock. I'm not. I'm like,
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: I just like the person that I.
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: Don't actually like the very very build. No, I don't
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: like the like big kind of build. I just I
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: like more like the fit in mind, body and soul.
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: Like let's be honest, you know, because you can have
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: this beautiful body and if you're messed up in the head.
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: I mean I don't want that either, So I think
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: like it's just the well rounded for sure.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: I think I'm just because of my like my like
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: wherever I go for my favorite memories are like like Geneva, Wisconsin,
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: hanging out with all my friends, like jumping in the
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: water water scan. I like people that are men that
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: are just like having a really good time. So I'm
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: like the frat boy with a job and maybe not
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: so much of the beer gun, but like I'm okay
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: if it's like.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: You know, and you know all all this, be like
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: she like a frat boy. No she doesn't, Yes, I do.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: I actually really like.
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: Let's go to fun. Well, college. Should we go to
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: check it out?
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, don't know. I go to his parents
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: beeguns and I'm like, these are not what I mean.
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: My frat boys like with all this to be said
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: that we can sit here all day long and talk
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: about like, Okay, what do we like this and that?
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: But for me, it's just this energy.
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: So when I meet some people in person, I may
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: not have liked them on let's say, rayah, but it's
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: this energy that's like whoa. And I did have this
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: experience where you know, I matched with somebody and he
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: was he was super smart and I no, not the
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: little one did?
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: Can we talk about him though?
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: Or no?
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: Okay? Yeah?
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, is he going to be boring? He's
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: super techy, like you know, but I did like the
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: sophistication and the classiness and this very you know, smart
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: part that like the smart is really doing it for
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: me right now.
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: And so.
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, Pam, let's do a FaceTime and see is.
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: There some swagger? Like so swagger?
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: Well, my mom would be mad if I said, because
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: she's like, Pamelin, I did not give you this name?
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Pamelin, Yeah, Pamalain she's like Famaline secret name Pam.
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: So we did a FaceTime and I was like, well,
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: go ahead with your bad self, with your techie, you know.
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: I was so impressed, and so it just it was
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: a really good, you know experience for me to not
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: just judge by maybe like what you do for a
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: living is going to correlate to are you exciting or
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: fun or you know, are you swaggy just because you're
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: in this field.
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: And so.
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: In a perfect world, we meet the guy out we
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: have the energy and it's just this like magnetic thing.
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: But in this world, it's really hard to go out
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: all the time and find that. So that's you know
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: why we're here doing this right.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: One of one of our new friends that I that
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: I was talking to last night, she was saying that
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: she lives, she's in San Francisco, and then she goes
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: out and because she was on reality, she'll go out
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: and she'll meet these She'll you know, go out and
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: do whatever. But like guys are never like hey, or
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: like I saw you on this show that show and
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: then but she said she'll get home and they'll DM yeah,
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: and like that's I don't want to be out in
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: the wild.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: I want to meet the real people.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: I want to see the vibe, you know, I that's
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: what I'm that's I like that too.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think, I mean, you know, because I'm
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: not I wasn't on a show or anything like that,
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: so I don't have that kind of I guess where
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: people would know, oh, who who I am?
• 32:32
  Speaker 4: You know, I'm just oh, we know who you are? Normal?
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: But I don't.
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: But I think, even like for me when I am
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: out for the rare times that I am, or even
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: like at the gym or wherever it is, I don't
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: think that I give off the vibe of available enough.
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: And that's what I think I have to work on personally.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: You know what. That's so funny that you said that,
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: because I think I have to do that too.
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: I think that I don't smile like I get embarrassed. Partly,
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: I truly am shy.
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: Around, but I smile a lot. I'm just a smiley person.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I was blessed with good teeth. Like
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: I'm a smiling person. And I'm also very outgoing, but
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: I'm also super shy. Like like I said, like, I'm
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: very outgoing this way. But then if you come into
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: my territory.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: I'm like, that's why.
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: We need each other. It's gonna be perfect good.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, we have to have like some kind of code.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: Maybe maybe it'll be Pam, give me our name some
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: one or like if so if you're like I really
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: like this guy, and I'll be like, okay, I mean
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: I'm not.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: I would never lie.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: I would be like you have but like what like
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: a girl like a luandelas Countess lan Coat, like love
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: you c D. We're going for you like what count
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: just low see out in that CD kind of like
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: what it's how about like a workout? What's like a
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: work well?
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: I was just going to say, this is like so random.
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: Back in the eighties when I was, you know, like
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: a young kid, so many kids were getting kidnapped. It's
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: not funny, but and so there was a code word
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: that you were supposed to have with your mother. Like
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: if somebody said, hey, you know, come here, your mom
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: said that, like you know, she we need to take
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: you home from school today. That's what they were saying
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: to these kids. And so our code word was cheerios. Okay,
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: my mom and my brother. Maybe that's the bad one.
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: Maybe that's if we don't like that.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, but I.
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: Don't know what the good one is.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: I don't know, like some kind of like what's like
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: something that's really I mean, I like a cheerio, it's fine,
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: but what something.
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: Something that's like really good that's like forbidden fruit loop apple?
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: An Apple?
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: It's like no but like from the you know they
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: were supposed to Adam and Eve.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: Oh Apple, Oh here I am, like I'm going like
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: she's like, no, no key like apple like Adam and Eve.
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: You didn't know where I was going.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: She's like, stay with me, stay with me.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: Okay, fine, So apple is for forbidden like hot guy
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: and the cheerios just like yeah, okay, So all right,
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: so we have our lingo down and then I want
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: to know, like just a quick thing like okay, so
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: at a concert, is there a right flag of like people.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: Are drinking too much?
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: It's too well absolutely too drunk. I can't I can't
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: do it, Like I just can't do it.
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: I'll have you know, it's fine, like a glass of wine,
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: cocktail or two whatever, but I just I don't like
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: that at all.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I want a guy drinks too much? Sorry guys,
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: and they're like.
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: I love you and love you.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: It's like, oh my god.
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: For women, it's just not attractive. And you know, and
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: especially at this age.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: Plus, I don't want someone unpacking when they're dropping it, no,
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: because if you can't remember it, that you don't need.
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: I want to remember everything about these experiences that I have,
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: and you know, it's like clouded.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Okay that I've one last question. So on your podcast
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: with Janna, she said that sometimes she has a hard
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: time empathiz like not empathizing, but connecting with people that
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: are like well known or have been on TV like her.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: And I was listening to that, and I thought to myself, Yes,
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: sometimes it's.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: Difficult because you're like, Okay, that person's well known and
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: so they have this whole world that you're thinking of.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: But I wanted to address that because I was like,
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: you know, there's some people who I've learned so much from,
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: whether they're on television or whoever they are, and on
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: this podcast in particular, like I've gone through such a
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: like maturation process. I mean, I've grown up so much
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: in the past like five or six months. Love that
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: from therapy to like meeting new people, like making new friends,
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: being able to like really just be open and honest
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: and not like not care what people think. And so
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: I'm just hoping that like we can all bring something
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: to someone and you never know what someone's going to
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: say that's going to be like, oh my god, yes, yeah,
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: you know, like you've said a lot today that, and
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: you've said a lot on your both of your podcasts
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: that have been like super powerful and very positive, which
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: I think is so nice too.
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: You know, I think that the energy you put out
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: is going to be the energy that you get back.
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: And so if I'm sitting here saying, oh my gosh,
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: it's so hard out there, jeez, there's nobody they all,
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's what I'm going to keep getting. Yeah,
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: and it's actually not even like the reality. I mean,
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: I'm meeting amazing men doing really cool things that I think,
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: you know, are evolving pretty well too.
• 37:53
  Speaker 4: It just maybe there hasn't been you know, the guy, the.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: Guy, the guy.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, so we're going a bottle rock. So we're going
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: to play some kind of fun. We have to have
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: a challenge or game or something. Well okay competitive so
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: oh wow, Okay, I mean I can be competitive, but
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: really with myself, not with other people, so I'll be
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: like cheering you on. I'm so competitive with myself. I
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: have to turn myself off. I'm like, oh god, there
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: she goes again. I have my own inner Pam like
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: and my own like oh, she's just.
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: Too loud of it there. So okay, so let's come
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: up with a goal.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: So here's some options we can actually Luan, who's on
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: the house, she was like, She's like, Darling, I want
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: you to ask a stranger for a drink, and but
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: you have to write this little note down on a
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: piece of paper and like slide it over.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: I was like, so I did it. I did it.
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: I did it with my two besday friends.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: I was at a bar in New York City and
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: I wrote it and I slid it and this guy
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: came over and then I was like, oh.
• 39:04
  Speaker 4: My god in my heart is like but then.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: He happens to be on Love Hotel with Luan, and
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: I was just like, how is this my life job?
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, I'm going to be a new show
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: like television.
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: Like hey.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, that's nice for you, and he's
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: like yeah.
• 39:24
  Speaker 4: I was like, what's it called?
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: He goes Love Hotels? Because everyone falls a.
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: Red flag for you, like if they're doing something like that.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: For me, it's difficult because like literally every single person
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: in my whole pool of like my dating pool has
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: dated someone who I've been on television with. So it's
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: been like very challenging, and it's just like constantly like, oh,
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: I guess who's dating so and so I'm like, oh wow,
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: that's great. Okay, So here's our challenge. Okay, I'm going
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: to give you some options and then you can tell
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: me yes or no. Okay, Okay, So we can get
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: a phone up from a guy, or you can give
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: someone a phone number.
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: So when we say get so, it's not you getting
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: the phone number for me. It's like I have to
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: get it myself. Oh yeah, oh gosh, oh gosh.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to be like, here's your numbers.
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: I just I don't know. I just don't. Okay, no,
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: the phone number.
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: You can be like I don't know, Like I mean,
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: I always say, like I don't get.
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: On myer initiated a conversation. I can't even give a
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: guy eye contact, let alone give him my number.
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: So this is going to be a lot.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: Okay, just smile, okay for good you're gonna smile. That's
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: going to be like people are there, Guys are gonna
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: be like her.
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: She's so pretty.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: Okay, so we're gonna get a number or and I
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: think she's like insects. I don't really feel if I'm
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: comfortable with giving someone my phone number, but fine with
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: the Instagram. Instagram Yeah, follow me install I may or
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: may not read it.
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: I'm joking. No, no, I'm definitely gonna read it. Get a
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: guy to buy you a drink, So we have to
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: have someone be like.
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: That's easy, I mean because we don't even have to.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: Ask no, no, but you do know.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: But I'm not them coming and saying can I buy
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: your drink? You have to say I want you to
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: buy me a drink? Means you have to you have
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: to like initially we're like, it's like you and I.
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: Like initi Okay, I get it, I get it.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: Okay, very I'm going to be in a mini skirts,
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: so I'm going to be definitely like out there. So,
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, here we go. So okay, we have
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: to ask someone get the drink, phone number. How about
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: ask a guy to dance?
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: I could do that, you could, yes, Oh my god.
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: I could do that maybe for like, I just like
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: for some reason when I so dancing is just so
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: I love it so much.
• 41:41
  Speaker 4: Are you a good dancer? Yes?
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm awful.
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: Laugh.
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: I mean I could see myself like grabbing a guy's
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: hand and like trolling or doing something.
• 41:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I could do that.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: Oh god, Okay, this is gonna be great. All right,
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: and then I'm going to make an introduction to someone
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: who I think is like attractive, so I kind of
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: know your vibe.
• 42:01
  Speaker 4: And no he is not. I didn't like them when
• 42:05
  Speaker 4: I was in a sorority. Let alone.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: Now see this is good. So we're like, we're like
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: all good.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: And then we're going to go to Bottle Rock and
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: we're gonna have the best time, and then we're going
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: to recap all this.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Pamelin.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: I'm going to just call you Pam, but in my InterVoice,
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to say that out loud because I
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: don't want your mom to get mad at me if
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: I ever meet her.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: Well, I have an alter ego that's called Pittsburgh Pam,
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: and we talked about that.
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: I love Pittsburgh.
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: It's like when you just take me to like the pizza.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: I will just bring her out.
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, wait, where are you from?
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: Pittsburgh.
• 42:45
  Speaker 4: It's a town called mun Hall Homestead. It's like where
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: all the steel meals used to be.
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: And yeah, Pittsburgh is a vibe.
• 42:51
  Speaker 4: It's like so great there. I'm so grateful that I
• 42:54
  Speaker 4: grew up there and you bug all the time.
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: Yes, I love that.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: All right, you guys, thank you to Pamelin so much
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: for coming. Jana, thank you so much for introducing me.
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: We're gonna have the best time ever here in bond
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: Rock here and Nepa Belli. I'm not a singer, bye
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: saying it.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: I don't know why I can't waity.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: So are you ready to date again? But need some
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: wing woman advice? Your mentors are here to help. Email
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: us or call us. All the infos in the show notes,
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: follow us on socials. Make sure to rate and review
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: the podcast. I Do Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: falling in love is the main objective.