Latest / You Didn't Ask For This / 45 | The Doughletariat

Transcript

45 | The Doughletariat · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Matt: Eric, you ever uh find yourself in a store and come across uh a a product, something.
• 0:09
  Matt: You know, you see something and you just uh just beeline it to the register.
• 0:15
  Matt: You see it and say, I have to have this.
• 0:20
  Eric: I must consume this product.
• 0:23
  Matt: Yeah.
• 0:24
  Eric: You know, have that happening it doesn't happen often, but yes.
• 0:28
  Matt: I love it when it happens in the most unexpected of places.
• 0:32
  Matt: And I don't I guess it's not unexpected.
• 0:35
  Matt: I was on vacation recently and we were in a bookstore, local bookstore, you know, private owner private owned bookstore.
• 0:43
  Matt: Uh it was browse about books in uh Rehoboth Beach, uh specifically.
• 0:47
  Matt: Uh go patronize them.
• 0:48
  Matt: Um patronize them?
• 0:50
  Matt: Patronize them.
• 0:51
  Matt: Anyway, give them money.
• 0:52
  Matt: Just as I did, because this is a book of sorts.
• 0:57
  Matt: It's a notebook.
• 0:59
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:00
  Matt: And I saw this book, and I swear to you, Eric, not two minutes after my eyes laid upon it, did it already belong to me because I was walking away from the register.
• 1:15
  Matt: Did the wand choose the wizard, Matthew?
• 1:17
  Matt: Oh I think so.
• 1:20
  Matt: And you know, I just I just can't wait to hear what you have to think of my little book.
• 1:26
  Matt: Because it's supposed to be a joke.
• 1:28
  Matt: Here I I'm just gonna show it to you.
• 1:31
  Matt: Can you read what it says there, Eric?
• 1:38
  Eric: The title of this book it's a n it's a notebook.
• 1:41
  Eric: It's a notebook uh in a very, very handsome yet no nonsense font.
• 1:48
  Eric: Uh, it says Ledger of Perceived Slights.
• 1:53
  Eric: Ledger of Perceived Slights, Eric.
• 1:56
  Matt: It's blank.
• 1:56
  Matt: Uh, you know, it's ready.
• 1:58
  Matt: God damn, will that book be full?
• 2:01
  Matt: I said to myself, um, I saw this and I said, that's funny.
• 2:05
  Matt: That's so funny and so good for me as a joke.
• 2:08
  Matt: I have to have it.
• 2:09
  Matt: And then the very next day, Eric, I was we were on uh uh an area of the beach that is right at the end of the guarded section, you know.
• 2:20
  Matt: Okay.
• 2:21
  Matt: Um, and there's a big sign, you know, from here on uh over is is un Everything past this is beyond our pay our pay scale.
• 2:29
  Matt: Our pay scale.
• 2:30
  Matt: So we were like right in front of that sign, but on the guarded section, because it was it was not very populated.
• 2:36
  Matt: You know how many people there.
• 2:37
  Matt: Uh so we were there.
• 2:39
  Matt: I went swimming, and then this lifeguard starts whistling away at me.
• 2:45
  Matt: Oh and I say, and the waves are great.
• 2:49
  Matt: I'm waiting for a good one to body surf in on and hopefully not screw up my back even further.
• 2:55
  Matt: But you know, still enjoy the weather.
• 2:57
  Matt: And now here comes this man, literally with the white of uh a sunscreen on his nose, like not rubbed in like a cartoon.
• 3:06
  Matt: Okay, he's got like a white nose full of sunscreen.
• 3:10
  Eric: And I does he have like one of those weird like flotation booby things, yeah.
• 3:16
  Matt: Absolutely, he's got one of those.
• 3:18
  Matt: Um, so I come back in and I go, like, what's up?
• 3:22
  Matt: And he goes, The flag that we have is where you can swim.
• 3:28
  Matt: You can't swim past this flag.
• 3:30
  Matt: And I said, Well, wait a minute.
• 3:32
  Matt: I thought I was right at the unguarded beach sign.
• 3:36
  Matt: He was like, This side of the sign is guarded, that sign of the sign isn't isn't.
• 3:40
  Matt: This flag he's talking about, Eric, is like, I don't know, 30, 40 feet from where I was, but you know, significantly far from my blanket at this point.
• 3:52
  Eric: Yeah, okay.
• 3:52
  Matt: My setup.
• 3:54
  Matt: So I'm like, okay, so what you're telling me is like, I gotta come with you over there to swim, or I can, you know, go 10 feet that way to the other side of the sign.
• 4:04
  Matt: And he was like, Well, I can't recommend that.
• 4:05
  Matt: And I was like, Okay, sure.
• 4:07
  Matt: Yeah, I got that.
• 4:09
  Matt: And so he walks away.
• 4:10
  Matt: This interaction ends.
• 4:11
  Matt: So me and my dad eventually decide to venture into the uncharted waters of the unprotected beach, just 10 feet to where I was, because we're still close to the blanket.
• 4:24
  Matt: We're not far from the action, it's very private.
• 4:27
  Matt: It's there's no riptide or anything.
• 4:29
  Matt: I don't feel in any danger of being, you know, taken out to sea.
• 4:34
  Matt: You know, we're gonna be fine.
• 4:36
  Matt: And I get back to the blanket after me and my dad are floating around there, and Lindsay and my mom are laughing.
• 4:44
  Matt: And I say, why, what's up?
• 4:47
  Matt: And Lindsay says they moved the flag, and the flag is now obnoxiously close to, but not at the spot I had previously been swimming.
• 5:03
  Matt: We're talking like five feet, literally five feet away from where I was, where I had this conversation with this lifeguard.
• 5:13
  Eric: Did you just get flexed on by a lifeguard?
• 5:16
  Matt: I think I got flexed on by a lifeguard.
• 5:19
  Eric: You got flexed on by a lifeguard by a rehobith beach lifeguard.
• 5:22
  Eric: By a rehobeth beach life.
• 5:24
  Matt: Actually, this this was actually uh at Cape Henlopen.
• 5:27
  Matt: So it was a Cape Henlopen lifeguard.
• 5:28
  Matt: Oh, wow.
• 5:29
  Matt: But nevertheless, he flexed on me.
• 5:32
  Matt: He flexed and the only thing I thought of was this is going in the ledger.
• 5:38
  Matt: This is going in the ledger.
• 5:40
  Matt: And so I put this lifeguard down in my ledger, and now I I do believe that I'm gonna use my ledger of perceived slights for its intended purpose.
• 5:52
  Eric: I cannot wait to see how many pages of your book I take up.
• 5:55
  Matt: I put come on, Eric.
• 5:57
  Matt: Give yourself a little bit of credit.
• 5:59
  Matt: Uh, you know, and I so I put a picture of this on my Instagram, and uh, and our our uh our good friend at Alex Kaparakis uh put that he said, like, oh yeah, a notebook of uh grudges.
• 6:14
  Matt: And I said, excuse me, Alex, a record of grudges.
• 6:21
  Eric: Uh I have one I have one humble request.
• 6:26
  Eric: Sure.
• 6:27
  Eric: Uh when you die, can I at your funeral over your corpse read off the record of grudges?
• 6:38
  Matt: Okay, sure.
• 6:39
  Matt: Yes.
• 6:41
  Matt: But follow-up question.
• 6:42
  Eric: Yes.
• 6:43
  Matt: You think uh you are gonna outlive me goes into the book.
• 6:52
  Eric: Fucking write that one down.
• 7:22
  Matt: My name is Eric Poach.
• 7:24
  Matt: And this is episode this is the 45th episode of this podcast.
• 7:29
  Eric: 45 still alive, baby.
• 7:33
  Matt: But against all odds.
• 7:36
  Eric: But defiance of God and man.
• 7:38
  Matt: I'm excited to see where this episode takes us because our listeners would not know this.
• 7:43
  Matt: Of course, two weeks ago you enjoyed uh reliving the magic with our best of episodes 31 through 40.
• 7:51
  Eric: Yes.
• 7:52
  Matt: And so you've heard our voices uh uh if you even if you skipped that episode, you heard our voices a month ago with episode 44.
• 8:02
  Matt: Eric and I have in fact not seen each other for seven weeks.
• 8:09
  Eric: It's like the shittiest knockoff of Interstellar.
• 8:13
  Matt: It is, it has been a moment.
• 8:16
  Matt: Uh uh, but we did see we were reunited last night uh to record.
• 8:23
  Matt: We'll st we'll get this right out front, I think.
• 8:25
  Matt: Yeah, we'll just we'll just full disclosure.
• 8:27
  Matt: Well, because this is already out.
• 8:29
  Matt: We were the we were the dual guests of Podcasters Assemble, uh uh with our our good friend of the pod, Zach Deuce, um uh last night to discuss.
• 8:44
  Matt: We were recruited to review, to walk the the podcasters assemble audience through the unfortunate film that is Shark Attack 2.
• 8:57
  Matt: And so we did record that last night.
• 8:59
  Matt: And by the time you are hearing this, uh that episode will already be out.
• 9:04
  Matt: So go check out our episode of Podcasters Assemble.
• 9:09
  Matt: In fact, we are on the Podcasters Disassembled uh rendition of their show.
• 9:15
  Matt: Yeah.
• 9:16
  Matt: Um great time.
• 9:18
  Eric: It took us about two hours to just like kind of give the overview of the plot of an hour and a half long movie.
• 9:26
  Matt: Yeah, while shitting on it.
• 9:27
  Matt: And it's 86 minutes.
• 9:29
  Matt: Absolutely shitting on it.
• 9:30
  Matt: I'll thank you to remember it's not even an hour and a half, it's eighty-six minutes.
• 9:36
  Matt: Uh yeah, so please do give that a listen.
• 9:39
  Matt: We had an absolute blast talking about this terrible movie with Zach last night.
• 9:45
  Matt: Uh, friend of the pod, former guest, you know him and love him.
• 9:49
  Matt: Uh, we're about to read a question of his.
• 9:52
  Matt: Yes.
• 9:52
  Matt: Uh so um absolutely go check that out.
• 9:56
  Matt: Podcasters assemble, available wherever you get your podcasts.
• 10:01
  Matt: Um, so that's that's some newsworthy buzz.
• 10:04
  Matt: We're the guests for once.
• 10:06
  Matt: Yeah.
• 10:07
  Matt: Look at us moving up.
• 10:09
  Matt: So, Eric, in these seven weeks, you know, I've created a ledger of grudges, which, you know, I didn't want to be rude, but I've already dedicated several pages to you exclusively.
• 10:20
  Matt: Uh, but the um I'd be offended if you didn't.
• 10:26
  Matt: Did anything happen?
• 10:27
  Matt: I just can't wait for the reading of my will.
• 10:30
  Matt: And oh, yeah.
• 10:31
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 10:32
  Matt: You know, let's and and let's assume Lindsay's still alive and she's weeping, I would assume.
• 10:41
  Matt: I'm gonna make her weep.
• 10:42
  Eric: Like throwing herself over the casket.
• 10:45
  Matt: No, yeah.
• 10:46
  Matt: So she's doing this, and then this grief will be interrupted by the person being like, and he also bequeathed something called a ledger of perceived slights to an Eric Poach.
• 10:59
  Matt: Nothing else.
• 11:00
  Matt: Just this notebook.
• 11:02
  Eric: And I will do it like I will have uh two spotlights.
• 11:07
  Eric: One on me standing behind like one light on your body, on your corpse, the other light on my sitting in like a stool, like lounge singing style with a cigarette in one hand, the book in the other, and I'm just gonna fuck it, like do it like beat poetry.
• 11:25
  Matt: And then you'll, of course, this I'm gonna go back and make sure this is the first thing that's written because how you'll begin is volume one.
• 11:37
  Matt: And then we'll proceed a four to five hour reading of these scratches.
• 11:44
  Matt: I can't wait to I can't wait to keep track of what I'm bitter about.
• 11:48
  Eric: For like half a second, I thought he was like, I can't wait to die.
• 11:52
  Eric: It seems to be the theme of 2022.
• 11:55
  Matt: No, again, if I die before you, that will be the last entry in the preceding slides.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: Damn him.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: You did this on purpose.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: Been waiting yeah.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna assume I'm 130.
• 12:12
  Matt: So uh he's been waiting 100 years.
• 12:14
  Matt: Well, 98 years.
• 12:15
  Matt: Anyway, anything happened to you that you want to discuss unless you want to uh because I have other things that I'm purposely saving for cold opens.
• 12:24
  Eric: Oh, okay, good.
• 12:25
  Eric: Uh no, you know, I started playing more piano because I fell off that having a blast learning piano via YouTube.
• 12:33
  Eric: Um been gearing up to do more whose roles in any way shows.
• 12:38
  Eric: Fuck yeah.
• 12:38
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 12:40
  Eric: Uh we got a new pet snake, a ball uh in addition to our Western Hognose snake Pimento, named after Adrian Pimento from Brooklyn 99.
• 12:50
  Eric: Um, we now have a lovely uh ball python by the name of Carrot Cake.
• 12:57
  Eric: Carrot Cake.
• 12:58
  Eric: Adorable.
• 12:59
  Eric: Oh, also, my cat discovered television.
• 13:02
  Eric: What does that mean?
• 13:03
  Eric: So one day as an experiment, because Amelia Bedelia, you're very good at naming pets.
• 13:11
  Eric: Okay, thank you.
• 13:12
  Eric: I just want to make sure it's not just me like well, Amelia Bedelia was all me, but like uh uh pimento pimento, whether you named it after Adrian Pimento or the cheese, great name.
• 13:25
  Matt: Yep, uh and and uh carrot cake was it?
• 13:29
  Matt: Yes, the amazing thing.
• 13:31
  Eric: We pride ourselves on pet names in this house.
• 13:33
  Matt: A fucking plus.
• 13:34
  Eric: Thank you.
• 13:35
  Eric: But just to see what would happen, Amelia Bedelia loves sitting at the window, looking outside, looking at birds and chirping at them.
• 13:44
  Eric: I don't know if you've ever seen a cat do this where they just do that little they'll just sit at the window and make little chirp sounds at birds and stuff.
• 13:51
  Eric: And it's like it's almost like a little forlorn, like, oh, I want to kill you.
• 13:54
  Eric: I want to kill you, but I can't.
• 13:56
  Eric: Sure.
• 13:57
  Eric: Um, so I found a YouTube video of there are YouTube videos you can find of just birds and squirrels at a feeder, like just hanging out, coming by.
• 14:07
  Eric: So I put that on.
• 14:09
  Eric: My cat, no shit, watched this video, just sat so pretty, right in the middle of the carpet, right dead center in front of the TV, just sat there so politely watching this for two hours straight.
• 14:24
  Eric: She did not fucking move.
• 14:26
  Eric: And I was like, this is adorable.
• 14:28
  Eric: And then she started trying to attack the birds in this world.
• 14:31
  Eric: Yeah, I was gonna have to change the channel.
• 14:32
  Matt: I was wondering if that was what's gonna come next.
• 14:35
  Eric: Damn it.
• 14:35
  Eric: She was, but now, like, I'll have other shows on, and now she will also well, I was watching like Naruto earlier this morning, and she was watching Naruto with me.
• 14:47
  Eric: So now I think the the birds and squirrels led her to finally realize oh, there's a a box with things inside of it that I can watch that I can destroy.
• 14:56
  Eric: Yeah, some we went to turn my cat into a to a fucking anime nerd.
• 15:01
  Matt: Well, that's on brand.
• 15:02
  Matt: Yeah.
• 15:04
  Matt: Well, that's that is an exciting development.
• 15:07
  Matt: Um, any other pets you want to talk about?
• 15:10
  Eric: Uh Cyrus, our bird, is doing magnificently.
• 15:13
  Matt: I didn't think there were others.
• 15:15
  Matt: Are there any others?
• 15:16
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 15:16
  Eric: I I yeah, it uh yeah.
• 15:18
  Eric: Um Cyrus again, a good pet name.
• 15:21
  Eric: Thank you.
• 15:21
  Eric: Yeah, she's an African gray parrot.
• 15:24
  Eric: Okay.
• 15:24
  Eric: She is uh she's an absolute delight.
• 15:26
  Eric: She's very good.
• 15:27
  Matt: I didn't what a breath, what a variety of pets you have.
• 15:32
  Matt: Not one of them's a fucking dog.
• 15:33
  Eric: Um Well, because and I and I I tell people all the time, I love dogs, but I do not have the the the spoons, time, or emotional energy to give to a dog that that dog would deserve.
• 15:48
  Eric: I have plenty to go around for cats, snakes, and birds.
• 15:52
  Eric: Like Pimento is a beautiful, beautiful, cute, adorable boy.
• 15:56
  Eric: He's basically a spaghetti noodle with two brain cells.
• 15:59
  Eric: Like they're like, I love my Western hognose.
• 16:02
  Eric: They're very dumb snakes.
• 16:03
  Eric: They do not require much.
• 16:05
  Eric: Uh ball pythons, not not too far above that.
• 16:09
  Eric: You know, you know, listeners about your ball phythones.
• 16:12
  Eric: Like your ball pythons.
• 16:13
  Eric: Ball pythons are fantastic uh pets to have a snake.
• 16:16
  Eric: Same same with Western hognoses.
• 16:17
  Eric: They're both known.
• 16:18
  Eric: We we got them because they're both known for being very chill, like easily handled animals.
• 16:25
  Eric: And then there's Cyrus, who is like primarily Sam's pet.
• 16:29
  Eric: Like that is Sam's bird.
• 16:30
  Eric: Oh no, you're not allowed talking to Cyrus.
• 16:32
  Eric: Oh, I assist.
• 16:32
  Eric: No, yeah, yeah, because me and Cyrus hang out sometimes.
• 16:35
  Eric: I I feed her on the weekends while Sam's at work.
• 16:37
  Eric: And uh I did teach Cyrus how to do the she'll she'll do that very so you've taught a bird how to catcall.
• 16:47
  Eric: Yeah, but she only catcalls me.
• 16:49
  Matt: Nice.
• 16:50
  Eric: Yeah.
• 16:52
  Matt: If that isn't narcissism at its peak, I don't know what is.
• 16:56
  Eric: Oh, it's great.
• 16:57
  Matt: Well, on that note, Eric, should we start the the show we do?
• 17:00
  Matt: Let's start the show we do.
• 17:02
  Matt: If we if we remember how to do it.
• 17:05
  Matt: Now, this first question happens to come from Tom, who happens to be my dad.
• 17:13
  Eric: Your father.
• 17:14
  Matt: Yes, my old man.
• 17:18
  Eric: Um he's a damn fine damn good fellow.
• 17:21
  Matt: A damn good fellow, and he asks, if something is neither here nor there, where is it?
• 17:29
  Eric: Tom just coming right out the gate, not trying to softball us a goddamn thing, sending us spiraling right into philosophical abyss.
• 17:39
  Matt: Let's get into it, Eric.
• 17:40
  Matt: Let's let's let's shake off the dust and get into it.
• 17:44
  Matt: Whoo! So, when something is here, like for example, this pen I have in front of me, here it is.
• 17:51
  Eric: And from my perspective, it's there.
• 17:53
  Matt: It's there.
• 17:54
  Eric: Yeah, very and if I hold up my bay blade, for me it's here.
• 17:59
  Matt: Oh, but for me, it's there.
• 18:00
  Matt: Yeah, you see?
• 18:01
  Eric: So But if something is neither here nor there.
• 18:06
  Matt: Because even in the same room, that light switch I'm looking at off-camera for you, that's over there.
• 18:12
  Eric: Yeah.
• 18:12
  Matt: But if I touch it, it's very clearly here.
• 18:15
  Matt: I guess what I'm asking at is do we need to define here and there in order to define the other place?
• 18:23
  Matt: The other place.
• 18:24
  Matt: Um, no.
• 18:25
  Matt: Well, I so I want to acknowledge the cop out in the room.
• 18:30
  Eric: Oh, what's the cop-out in the room?
• 18:31
  Matt: If it's neither here nor there, it is everywhere.
• 18:38
  Matt: Or alternatively, it is nowhere.
• 18:41
  Matt: Nowhere.
• 18:42
  Matt: And I think both of those answers are dog shit.
• 18:46
  Eric: Yeah, they're dog shit poopy doo-doo answers, and I hate them very much.
• 18:49
  Eric: Very much so.
• 18:50
  Eric: Uh I uh let me hit you with this.
• 18:53
  Eric: So I think when we're talking about like, oh, that's neither here nor there, we we I think by definition, it's a statement saying this concept is not in a physical, it has nothing to do with location or physical place, it has nothing to do with or lack thereof.
• 19:09
  Eric: Interesting.
• 19:10
  Eric: I think neither here nor there, and the context is usually used in is like it's usually followed by like some contextual thing, or like it's when someone offers context that doesn't particularly matter.
• 19:24
  Matt: It's never it's almost never discussing a physical thing, it's never saying like, oh you know, the phrase that's neither here nor there is not talking about this pen or that beyblade or this light switch.
• 19:39
  Matt: It's said in like somebody said somebody makes a point of some kind, and the person responds by saying, Oh, well, that's neither here nor there.
• 19:49
  Matt: What really matters is this, you know.
• 19:51
  Eric: Yeah, it it is defining some it, it is it is the labeling of something that's a this it does not pertain.
• 19:59
  Eric: Does not pertain.
• 20:01
  Eric: It does it is it is a factor, it is a truth, but it doesn't matter.
• 20:07
  Eric: Or doesn't matter is a little harsh, but it does not pertain.
• 20:12
  Matt: Yeah, it's saying what you're offering to me, the point you're making to me, uh isn't isn't applicable to the situation, whatever that situation may be.
• 20:23
  Matt: Yeah, it's neither here nor there.
• 20:26
  Matt: And I think what we're saying in that context is like, ooh, I I don't know.
• 20:31
  Matt: It's it's not of maybe here and there in this context is saying it's not of the utmost importance or even the least importance.
• 20:40
  Matt: Does that make sense?
• 20:41
  Eric: Yeah, it's something that like has to be considered, but not really.
• 20:46
  Eric: Like it do you know?
• 20:48
  Matt: I'm getting that.
• 20:49
  Matt: So but if it yes, if if if something was either here or there, it would be important or um applicable to the situation we're discussing, right?
• 21:02
  Eric: Yeah.
• 21:03
  Matt: But we need to find out what we so uh that I think we've defined uh in the context of the comment that's neither here nor there.
• 21:11
  Matt: I think we've decided what here and there represent.
• 21:14
  Eric: Yes, but now we gotta talk about it.
• 21:17
  Matt: It.
• 21:18
  Matt: It and where it is.
• 21:19
  Eric: It's neither here nor there.
• 21:21
  Matt: Uh so if we're saying here and there in the context is saying that that's not very imp that that doesn't even register on the importance scale.
• 21:32
  Eric: Yeah.
• 21:33
  Eric: It's kind of like if we're if we're in the movie Deep Blue Sea with Sir Samuel L.
• 21:38
  Eric: Jackson, and we're in a we're in a chamber that's slowly filling up with water, and Samuel L.
• 21:46
  Eric: Jackson decides to like tell me at that point that he, you know, when he got trapped in an avalanche all those years ago, um, an avalanche, not an avalanche.
• 21:56
  Eric: An anvil.
• 21:57
  Eric: An avalanche of anvils.
• 21:58
  Matt: It's just a bunch of anvils fucking.
• 22:04
  Eric: But when Sam Sir Samuel L.
• 22:06
  Eric: Jackson is like confessing that when he got trapped in that avalanche, that he ate other human beings, just drops meat, just drops that one on me.
• 22:14
  Eric: That is significant, right?
• 22:16
  Eric: That's huge.
• 22:17
  Eric: But in the context of the room I'm in, currently knee deep, pushing towards hip deep in water while genetically modified Mako sharks are trying to eat my bones, um, it's neither here nor there.
• 22:30
  Eric: Do you see what I mean?
• 22:31
  Eric: Like it doesn't, it doesn't, neither here nor there doesn't ascribe a value to something in and of itself.
• 22:38
  Eric: It ascribes a contextual value to something.
• 22:41
  Eric: Right.
• 22:42
  Eric: Like you can be a Pulitzer Prize-winning poet.
• 22:46
  Eric: Sure.
• 22:47
  Eric: But in the post-apocalypse, when I'm deciding who will be chieftain of my of my you know motorcycle gang.
• 22:54
  Matt: Yeah.
• 22:55
  Eric: It's neither here nor there.
• 22:57
  Matt: Oh, interesting that you don't want that level of culture involved in your street gang.
• 23:03
  Eric: No, no.
• 23:04
  Eric: We're we're much more interested in, you know, weapons.
• 23:10
  Eric: I see.
• 23:12
  Matt: The murder dome.
• 23:13
  Matt: The murder dome.
• 23:16
  Matt: But you don't think you need one.
• 23:17
  Matt: We're getting off track.
• 23:19
  Matt: You don't think you need one, you know, uh scholar on.
• 23:23
  Eric: Yeah, we should have a scholar, but I'm gonna keep that scholar like in a cage or something that I drive around like on my motorcycle with, like, look, we have a learned one.
• 23:33
  Eric: And like, we are willing to trade him for bullets, like that kind of thing.
• 23:37
  Eric: Like they have a place, but I'm not gonna make him, you know, he's not gonna be, he's not gonna be the the guy.
• 23:42
  Matt: You know, you're not gonna be the the cheat the chief the yeah, the chieftain of your motorcycle gang, as you put it.
• 23:49
  Eric: Oh hell no.
• 23:50
  Matt: Okay, interesting.
• 23:52
  Matt: Well, I'm glad I'm just glad to know you're gonna become a completely different person in the apocalypse.
• 23:56
  Matt: Oh, it's not the end of the world.
• 23:57
  Matt: Yeah, one day we will meet.
• 23:59
  Matt: Me and my gang of scholars will ride upon you, and my uh my my filthy band of artists will will come upon you.
• 24:09
  Matt: You'll capture us, you'll put us in cages, and I'll say, I got I got news for you.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: And somebody, you know, somebody's with their four teeth breathing their nasty breath in their my fucking face.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'll be like, You see that tall drink of water over there you call a chieftain?
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: He's got a fucking bachelor's degree.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's right.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 24:31
  Eric: He's written a thesis on my thesis on dungeons and dragons.
• 24:37
  Eric: Undergraduate.
• 24:38
  Eric: He's a thinking man.
• 24:39
  Eric: He's a fucking theater major.
• 24:41
  Eric: Yeah, that's how you feel like he's a fraud, he's a fraud, and then it'll be you on the tracks next to me.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'll look at you and I'll say, This is what you fucking get.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: This is what you get for crossing me.
• 24:53
  Eric: And I turn back and just kind of shrug.
• 24:54
  Eric: Ah, it's neither here nor there.
• 24:57
  Eric: Because we're both tied to the tracks about to get run over by the murder train.
• 25:01
  Matt: Yeah, it's what happened in the past.
• 25:04
  unknown: Yeah.
• 25:04
  Matt: It's neither here nor there.
• 25:06
  Eric: It it can't, yeah, and that was another thing.
• 25:08
  Eric: I think it does also, in a way, can suggest uh uh not so much a physical thing, but a timeliness or like a sense of time.
• 25:18
  Matt: I think that's why I'm throwing out the applicable comment, right?
• 25:22
  Matt: Yeah.
• 25:22
  Matt: Like, so that's what makes it applicable, is that it somehow is relevant either in time or subject matter to the subject at hand.
• 25:33
  Matt: So if it's not one of those things, if it's neither here nor there, where could it possibly be?
• 25:42
  Matt: I don't think it's nowhere.
• 25:44
  Eric: I think it where it where it is, and this kind of goes back to the time connection, where I think it is, is outside of our purview, outside of our fucks to give bubble.
• 25:58
  Eric: I think I think I'm landing on it.
• 26:01
  Matt: Because in this case, the fucks to give bubble is all contextual, it's all symbolic.
• 26:07
  Matt: The here and there are symbolic.
• 26:11
  Matt: So for it to be neither of those places, it needs to be a literal place.
• 26:16
  Matt: If it's neither here nor there, it's in Madison, Wisconsin.
• 26:23
  Eric: It's just throw dart at the board.
• 26:25
  Eric: Yeah.
• 26:26
  Eric: Or like, but I get what you're saying, it might as well be Madison, Wisconsin.
• 26:30
  Eric: But it's not a good thing.
• 26:30
  Matt: For as much as it matters.
• 26:31
  Matt: Yeah, if we're talking about Madison, Wisconsin, then it would be there.
• 26:34
  Matt: So it needs to be a place no one really no one really goes.
• 26:38
  Eric: There is actually yeah, okay.
• 26:40
  Matt: Like the South Pole.
• 26:42
  Eric: Uh are you actually familiar with the concept of liminal spaces?
• 26:47
  Matt: You know what, Eric, I'd love for you to make me more familiar with liminal spaces.
• 26:52
  Eric: Uh, this for our listeners.
• 26:54
  Eric: This this is something that gets explored a lot in like uh uh it it it's it's technically an aesthetic or like a um a vibe.
• 27:04
  Eric: It's a vibe.
• 27:05
  Eric: A liminal space is a vibe.
• 27:07
  Eric: Ooh, and so when we're when something is neither here nor there, that could be a good answer in and of itself, is it's a vibe.
• 27:13
  Eric: Oh, it's a vibe.
• 27:15
  Eric: It's a vibe.
• 27:16
  Eric: A liminal space, yeah, kids, is a location which is a transition between two other locations or states of being.
• 27:27
  Eric: Typically these are abandoned and oft oftentimes empty.
• 27:31
  Eric: So like examples of like a liminal space would be like a mall at 4 a.m.
• 27:36
  Eric: or a school hallway during summer.
• 27:39
  Eric: Like it feels frozen and like slightly unsetting as unsettling, but also familiar to our minds.
• 27:47
  Eric: And like in a lot of, you'll read this in a like a lot of fiction or a lot of even like uh uh internet like horror stories and stuff, liminal spaces are uh are kind of used as that like a gateway for things to move between our world and the next.
• 28:05
  Eric: I got it.
• 28:06
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 28:07
  Matt: I got it, Eric.
• 28:09
  Matt: Everything you've just said made it click into place.
• 28:12
  Matt: If we need the opposite of a symbolic place, we need a literal place.
• 28:17
  Matt: But what you have just said is true.
• 28:19
  Matt: This liminal space where something should be but isn't Chernobyl.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh Chernobyl.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that prippy at prippyat Chernobyl?
• 28:38
  Eric: Chernobyl.
• 28:39
  Eric: Chernobyl is a very liminal space.
• 28:42
  Matt: That's where it is.
• 28:43
  Eric: If it's neither here nor there.
• 28:46
  Eric: It's in Chernobyl.
• 28:48
  Eric: It's it's a place of should bees but ain't.
• 28:53
  Eric: Should be's but ain't uh oh my god.
• 29:00
  Eric: Or places like yeah, places that that oh yeah.
• 29:04
  Eric: Yeah, no.
• 29:05
  Eric: I I I'll sign off if it's neither here nor there, it's Chernobyl.
• 29:09
  Matt: I mean, is there another candidate besides Chernobyl or Madison, Wisconsin?
• 29:13
  Eric: Oh, what's the name of that town in Pennsylvania that's still on fire?
• 29:18
  Matt: Oh, I know what you're talking about.
• 29:20
  Eric: The mining town.
• 29:21
  Matt: Yeah, there is a town in Pennsylvania that's perpetually on fire.
• 29:24
  Eric: Inspiration for Silent Hill.
• 29:26
  Eric: It's been on fire for decades.
• 29:28
  Matt: That is still burning.
• 29:30
  Matt: Let me find it.
• 29:31
  Matt: Ah, Centralia.
• 29:34
  Matt: Centralia, Pennsylvania was once a bustling mining center, but a hidden underground fire has turned it into a smoldering ghost town.
• 29:42
  Matt: A century ago, Centralia, Pennsylvania was a busy town filled with shops, residents, and brisk uh mining facility.
• 29:52
  Matt: And now, let's see, all real estate in the borough was claimed under intimate eminent domain in 1992 and condemned by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.
• 30:01
  Matt: Centralia's zip code was discontinued by the Postal Service in 2002.
• 30:07
  Matt: State and local officials reached an agreement with the seven remaining the seven remaining residents on October 29th, 2013, allowing them to remain in Centralia until their deaths, after which the rights to their houses will also be taken through eminent domain.
• 30:28
  Matt: And as of the census, as of the census of 2020, five people were listed as residing in the borough with a with a racial makeup of 80% white, 20% Asian.
• 30:47
  Matt: Color shocked, and one resident of 20% of the 20% of the population is under the age of 18.
• 30:55
  Eric: How wild must that kid childhood have been?
• 30:58
  Matt: First of all, I would love to do a podcast in Centralia, Pennsylvania.
• 31:02
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 31:03
  Matt: Second of all, there are five people there, as opposed to Chernobyl, where I mean people end up there now because it's getting safer.
• 31:15
  Eric: It's getting safer.
• 31:16
  Eric: Also, no elephant in the room.
• 31:19
  Eric: A war is currently being fought around that area.
• 31:22
  Matt: And there were there were the Russians marched right through it.
• 31:26
  Eric: Yeah, and fucking soldiers shooting at each other in the irradiated ruins of Chernobyl is a thing I didn't think was going to happen in my lifetime.
• 31:35
  Matt: No, but there they are.
• 31:37
  Matt: So I guess actually, at this very moment, there are less people in Centralia, Pennsylvania, and those numbers are only going down than there are in Chernobyl.
• 31:49
  Matt: So perhaps, Eric, perhaps Centralia, Pennsylvania is what we're looking for.
• 31:55
  Eric: Centralia, Pennsylvania.
• 31:57
  Eric: It would be also thematically appropriate because this question came from a Pennsylvania native.
• 32:01
  Eric: Not well, not native, your dad's in New York, but he lives there now.
• 32:05
  Matt: Yeah, all you have to do is listen to him talk, and you'll know he's not a Pennsylvania native.
• 32:08
  Eric: I've seen your dad drink coffee at 10 o'clock at night.
• 32:10
  Eric: Yeah.
• 32:11
  Eric: I know he's from New York.
• 32:12
  Matt: Puts him to sleep.
• 32:14
  unknown: Yeah.
• 32:14
  Matt: That's what he says.
• 32:16
  Matt: He said he puts us him puts it puts him to sleep.
• 32:19
  Matt: I don't understand it.
• 32:20
  Matt: But anyway, uh that's that New York that's that Long Island blood.
• 32:24
  Eric: So we've we've actually thrown out uh you know, you know, Matt, it's almost appropriate.
• 32:28
  Eric: At this point, we've thrown out sever so many different things for what it you know when neither so honestly, when it comes to what is the it when it's I neither here nor there, it's neither here nor there, my friend.
• 32:43
  Eric: Well, I is it How's that for a fucking cop out?
• 32:46
  Matt: That is a cop out.
• 32:47
  Matt: Is that not a good compromise, though?
• 32:50
  Matt: If it's neither here nor there, one of two places that represent a symbolic scale, as we've put it.
• 32:57
  Matt: It sounds like to me it's either one of three places.
• 33:02
  Matt: Chernobyl.
• 33:03
  Matt: Chernobyl, Centralia, Pennsylvania, or Madison, Wisconsin.
• 33:10
  Matt: Oh man.
• 33:12
  Matt: There you have it, Dad.
• 33:14
  Eric: And and I and just to add another layer of confusion, I'm gonna I'm gonna dictate that it it can either be one of those three places, but at no point is it definitely one of those three places.
• 33:25
  Eric: No, no, it is in a state of flux.
• 33:28
  Eric: If you were at any one of those places, it's the other two places.
• 33:31
  Matt: It can't be there.
• 33:32
  Matt: Yeah, because by the virtue of you being in Centralia, Pennsylvania, it would be here.
• 33:37
  Matt: We've done it.
• 33:38
  Eric: We've done it, we've cracked it.
• 33:40
  Eric: You're welcome, gang.
• 33:41
  Eric: Happy to assist.
• 33:42
  Matt: I thought we were gonna spend five minutes on that question and what it shows you what I know.
• 33:47
  Matt: So we have to get moving, Eric.
• 33:49
  Matt: We got to move on to a bigger, yep, more important question, I would say.
• 33:53
  Matt: This is something everyone has been asking.
• 33:55
  Matt: This is from a uh AJ underscore Stiegler uh on Instagram.
• 34:02
  Matt: And AJ underscore Stiegler asks, is the Pillsbury Doughboy a cannibal?
• 34:08
  Eric: Yeah, well, let's just dive right into it.
• 34:11
  Eric: Um, my first question, you know, obviously where this is coming from is the Pillsbury Doughboy is made of dough.
• 34:18
  Eric: Uh, and he advertises for a company that sells dough that gets baked and then gets eaten.
• 34:29
  Eric: Don't worry, I got you.
• 34:30
  Eric: Uh oh, he was originally named Jonathan Pillsbury.
• 34:34
  Eric: Jonathan Pillsbury.
• 34:36
  Eric: Jonathan Pillsbury.
• 34:37
  Eric: That sounds like what his mom would say when he's fucked up.
• 34:40
  Eric: Johnny Pills.
• 34:41
  Eric: Jonathan Pillsbury.
• 34:43
  Eric: Johnny Pills.
• 34:45
  Eric: Johnny Pills, Johnny Pills.
• 34:48
  Eric: I fucking love it.
• 34:49
  Eric: Oh, damn, he's part of a whole family.
• 34:53
  Eric: Did you know there's a Pillsbury family?
• 34:55
  Matt: I'm looking at it right now.
• 34:57
  Eric: Yeah.
• 34:58
  Matt: We got Poppin' Fresh.
• 34:59
  Eric: We got Poppin' Fresh, Poppy Fresh, aka Mrs.
• 35:03
  Eric: Poppin' Fresh, Pillsbury Doe Girl.
• 35:06
  Eric: It is debated among collectors as to whether Poppy is Poppin's wife, girlfriend, or sister.
• 35:12
  Matt: And I feel like we do need to establish that, Pillsbury.
• 35:16
  Eric: Yeah, uh Grandpopper and Grandmommer.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 35:23
  Eric: Grandpopper, I'll I'll go with Grand Mommer has a very Wallau feel in that they they ran out of they ran out of runway.
• 35:32
  Eric: They had nothing left.
• 35:33
  Matt: Popper and Bun Bun.
• 35:35
  Eric: Popper and Bun Bun.
• 35:36
  Eric: Flapjack, who's a dog, and Biscuit the cat.
• 35:39
  Eric: Biscuit is a very good name for a cat, and Flapjack is a very good name for a dog.
• 35:43
  Matt: And then Uncle Rolly.
• 35:45
  Matt: Yeah, it's spelled like Uncle Raleigh, is it not?
• 35:48
  Matt: Yeah.
• 35:49
  Matt: R-O-L-L-I-E, but I think it's meant to be Rolly.
• 35:53
  Eric: Yeah.
• 35:54
  Matt: Now I don't know what that told us, but I'm glad to know it.
• 35:59
  Eric: They do so he's it does show us that he's not some like lightning in a jar, uh or sorry, he's not some lightning in a bottle phenomenon.
• 36:11
  Eric: It's not like he got, you know, uh he didn't get short-circuited, you know what I mean?
• 36:17
  Eric: He didn't get wall-ied.
• 36:19
  Eric: He uh apparently they are no, they are they are a people, the pills folk.
• 36:24
  Eric: The pills folk.
• 36:25
  Eric: They are a noble people, the doe folk.
• 36:27
  Eric: The doe folk.
• 36:28
  Eric: Uh the doletariat.
• 36:30
  Eric: The do that one's free.
• 36:36
  Eric: The doletariat, yes.
• 36:38
  Eric: And they have they form family units, they have a culture, they've domesticated animals, in the case of Flapjack and Biscuit.
• 36:49
  Eric: It almost makes me wonder.
• 36:51
  Eric: I think he would be a cannibal like if he just took a bite out of Grandpa.
• 36:57
  Matt: As opposed to a bite out of any old croissant.
• 37:00
  Eric: Yeah, because like it makes me wonder, like, I guess do they see croissants and biscuits and stuff?
• 37:05
  Eric: Do they see that as part of themselves of them?
• 37:09
  Eric: Yeah.
• 37:10
  Eric: Like, do they see do they see, you know, uh uh a buttery croissant the way we would see like livestock?
• 37:20
  Eric: Because we're both me, I'm made of meat, a cow is made of meat, but if you eat me, you go to jail.
• 37:25
  Matt: Is the here's a question I've never really considered.
• 37:29
  Matt: Is the Pillsbury Doughboy and the other members of the Daugeoisie Are they Are they Are they made of dough?
• 37:43
  Eric: Like they are made of dough.
• 37:45
  Eric: I've seen the Pillsbury Dough like rise up from the dough.
• 37:51
  Eric: But like also, I was, you know, we we came from the primordial, the same primordial soup that all other animals sprang from.
• 38:00
  Matt: On Wikipedia, under the uh in universe information, it does list his species as anthropomorphic dough.
• 38:08
  Eric: Okay.
• 38:09
  Matt: Okay, so he is dough.
• 38:11
  Matt: He is canonically dough.
• 38:13
  Eric: He just like me and a cow and uh, you know, uh, we're all carbon-based life forms, but anthropomorphic dough.
• 38:20
  Matt: So something is dare I say, magical about that dough.
• 38:24
  Matt: As opposed to the dough being put in the tubes that explode at your face.
• 38:29
  Eric: Yeah, which are so, so, so satisfying to open.
• 38:33
  Matt: You're never ready for it, are you?
• 38:34
  Eric: Never, never.
• 38:35
  Eric: Every time I think I am, I'm not.
• 38:37
  Eric: No, you're not.
• 38:38
  Eric: Oh, God.
• 38:39
  Eric: Um, but also, other question, this kind of like, you know, let's kind of head it off of the pass.
• 38:45
  Eric: Do we have we ever witnessed the Pillsbury Doughboy eating a cookie or a croissant?
• 38:53
  Matt: I am racking my brain trying to trying to answer that very question, Eric.
• 38:59
  Eric: Let's find out.
• 39:00
  Eric: All right, I'm pulling here some type.
• 39:03
  Matt: I don't know.
• 39:03
  Matt: I don't think I've ever seen him do it.
• 39:05
  Matt: Just like we've never seen the pill the the Kool-Aid man drinking out of himself, as we talked about way back in the day.
• 39:12
  Eric: I swear every time I'm not trying to take it to Eldritch places, but put on your your your cultist robes for a moment.
• 39:20
  Eric: Okay.
• 39:21
  Eric: I don't I don't ever recall seeing the Pillsbury Doughboy eating the cookies, but I do often see him offering the baked goods up to the human people.
• 39:33
  Eric: Yes.
• 39:34
  Eric: And it almost gives me like uh, is is this the price?
• 39:38
  Eric: Like I don't think he's a cannibal, I've never seen him eat it, but is he a murderer?
• 39:42
  Eric: Is he is he a class trader?
• 39:45
  Eric: Is he like a you know what I mean?
• 39:47
  Matt: Is he rightly fear us or worship us, so he'd say he he's offering up some sort of offering to the uh yeah to to us, the for all intents and purposes, the uh the gods.
• 40:02
  Matt: I was gonna say the uh the house select committee for uh undo-like activities.
• 40:09
  Eric: God damn it, that's good.
• 40:12
  Eric: God damn it, that's good.
• 40:14
  Matt: Yeah, and and he's he's he's not naming communist names.
• 40:20
  Matt: He's just literally giving up part of his people to us, the guys as well.
• 40:26
  Eric: Yeah, he's he he's making and and maybe like I don't know, like I I don't know if there's like uh God, this is quickly turning into Midsumar.
• 40:35
  Eric: But yeah, I wonder if like if e if if if the Pillsbury Doughboy believes that he has to like offer up these these these doe bits.
• 40:47
  Eric: Yeah.
• 40:48
  Eric: I don't know if it's like the what it's the equivalent of, you know what I mean?
• 40:51
  Eric: Like, I don't think it's like he's giving us babies.
• 40:56
  Eric: Um okay, but he is giving us meat.
• 41:01
  Eric: He it doesn't appear to be sending the the the the the biscuits never yeah, it doesn't seem to be alive when he offers it up to us.
• 41:09
  Eric: Um but it does seem to be of of him, of his people.
• 41:16
  Eric: He's whoa, whole new let's let's just go down this left turn.
• 41:20
  Eric: It's almost like a take of this and eat it, for it is my body kind of deal.
• 41:23
  Matt: Now we've already been down this road, we've already explored whether or not the Kool-Aid man is Jesus.
• 41:30
  Eric: Yeah.
• 41:31
  Matt: And now, are we saying that the Pillsbury Doughboy is also a Messiah of sorts?
• 41:37
  Eric: Uh I am I saying he's the Messiah, no.
• 41:42
  Eric: Am I saying he's Jesus?
• 41:44
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 41:46
  Eric: Am I saying transubstantiation is a possibility on the table?
• 41:51
  Eric: Mayhap.
• 41:52
  Matt: Mayhap.
• 41:54
  Eric: I I I I wouldn't be surprised if Pillsbury was subsidizing the uh communion wafer industry.
• 42:00
  Eric: Wow.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: Just have to crack this shit wide open.
• 42:05
  Matt: We are we are truly in some dark waters now, uh paddling in some dark waters.
• 42:11
  Matt: Yes.
• 42:12
  Eric: Um so uh the doe, like the tide, will rise.
• 42:18
  Matt: So what are we saying, Eric?
• 42:20
  Eric: Oh, that's such a good question, Matt.
• 42:23
  Eric: Um what I'm saying is to to to the long and short of it, I don't believe the Pillsbury Doughboy is a cannibal.
• 42:29
  Eric: I've never seen him eat the bakery.
• 42:31
  Eric: I've never seen him eat.
• 42:32
  Eric: I've never seen I don't think I I don't think he eats.
• 42:35
  Matt: I think you hit the nail on the head early on, Eric.
• 42:38
  Matt: I don't think he's a cannibal.
• 42:39
  Matt: I think he's a class trader.
• 42:41
  Eric: I think he's a class trader.
• 42:42
  Eric: I think he's got a sweet setup.
• 42:44
  Eric: He's got the nuclear family, he's got the mom, the dad, the grandma, the the sister.
• 42:48
  Eric: Like, he's got all that the two the two pets, one cat, one dog.
• 42:52
  Eric: He's the he's sacrificing he's the Benedict Arnold.
• 42:57
  Eric: He's the Benedict Arnold.
• 42:59
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 43:01
  Eric: He's selling out the lower classes so that he can maintain his his uh his middle class lifestyle.
• 43:08
  Eric: I think the Pillsbury Doughboy does see himself as a temporarily embarrassed millionaire.
• 43:13
  Eric: I see.
• 43:14
  Eric: I don't think he realizes that like he's doing all of this, but the second the fridge is out of biscuits, you know what I mean?
• 43:21
  Eric: Like the second we're out of like you're gone, dude.
• 43:25
  Eric: You're you're gonna get at by by by by these big dumb humans anyway.
• 43:30
  Matt: Yeah.
• 43:31
  Matt: And what did you get in the meantime?
• 43:33
  Matt: A little tummy poke every now and then, a little tummy poke from now and then, and shame, my friend.
• 43:40
  Eric: A little chef's hat.
• 43:41
  Eric: They let you we they they let you dress like one of us, but you know you're not.
• 43:44
  Matt: You know you're not.
• 43:45
  Matt: No, you don't.
• 43:47
  Matt: You're not fooling anyone with that scarf.
• 43:50
  Eric: Yeah.
• 43:50
  Matt: Who-hoo, motherfucker.
• 43:55
  Eric: All right.
• 43:56
  Eric: Uh Pillsbury Doughboy's a class trader.
• 43:59
  Matt: He's a class trader.
• 44:00
  Matt: And a rogue.
• 44:02
  Matt: And so that that's and to be honest, that's all I care to talk about.
• 44:06
  Matt: Yes.
• 44:06
  Matt: Bill's Purry Deodberry.
• 44:10
  Matt: Anyway, Eric, we mentioned earlier that we got a question here from Mr.
• 44:15
  Matt: Zach Deuce.
• 44:16
  Matt: And although we are we're running a little long on time, but since we already mentioned it and he was good enough to have us on his podcast.
• 44:24
  Eric: Yes.
• 44:25
  Matt: Why don't you give us that question from uh at Zach Deuce on the Twitter?
• 44:28
  Eric: I love this one.
• 44:29
  Eric: What would be the creepiest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?
• 44:35
  Eric: Now he he did say while passing a stranger.
• 44:38
  Eric: While passing a stranger on the street.
• 44:39
  Eric: So not like you just walk and not to the stranger.
• 44:42
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 44:42
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 44:43
  Eric: Good catch.
• 44:44
  Eric: Good cast.
• 44:45
  Eric: You could just say it while pass do they could overhear it.
• 44:48
  Matt: It could be, but it it doesn't have to be.
• 44:51
  Eric: And let's get let's get, you know, I think I've said this before.
• 44:55
  Eric: Sometimes the fruit can only hang so low before it's more effort to bend down and pluck it than it is to just pass it by.
• 45:01
  Eric: Yes, there are a bunch of creepy things we could say involving a whole lot of uncomfortable topics, but I don't think that's the spirit of this question.
• 45:12
  Eric: I want to know, I don't want to say, you know, what could you say to someone to make them feel unsafe or like threatened or like you're going to be a fucking creep, but more so well that is what we're after.
• 45:25
  Eric: But you know what I mean?
• 45:26
  Eric: Not that kind of creep.
• 45:27
  Matt: Like, like you don't want to walk by somebody and just say, see you tonight.
• 45:32
  Eric: Yeah, I don't want to be like cat call.
• 45:34
  Eric: That's just cat calling with extra steps.
• 45:36
  Eric: Um is it?
• 45:38
  Matt: I don't know that saying see it at night is the same as saying, hey, poach, you I don't know why I immediately went to cac on you, but yeah, here you go.
• 45:48
  Matt: Check out the No, but you know what I mean?
• 45:51
  Eric: When I when I the spirit I want to answer this question is is is what's like the spookiest thing you can say?
• 45:58
  Eric: Not like what is pretty good.
• 46:00
  Eric: What is what is the most uncomfortable thing wait?
• 46:03
  Eric: Because like all the answers to how you're gonna make someone uncomfortable, probably best left off our show.
• 46:09
  Matt: Yeah, well, all right.
• 46:10
  Matt: How do you feel about if I'm passing someone in the street and I just say, yeah, it's all moist down there.
• 46:19
  Eric: Yeah, that works.
• 46:20
  Eric: You're not addressing them.
• 46:21
  Matt: You're talking about you're like and I mean it the way I just delivered it, out of nowhere and kind of with my head pitched up towards the sky.
• 46:31
  Matt: Yeah, it's all moist down there.
• 46:34
  Matt: Nothing before, nothing after.
• 46:36
  Eric: I would also hit you with this.
• 46:38
  Eric: Um, just walking, same thing.
• 46:40
  Eric: Look at the sky, like, oh god damn, why are my bones so wet?
• 46:44
  Matt: Wow.
• 46:44
  Matt: Well, bonitus.
• 46:46
  Matt: Bonitis.
• 46:46
  Matt: Yeah, it's the early onset bonitus.
• 46:49
  Eric: I got these wet bones.
• 46:50
  Eric: What else?
• 46:52
  Eric: Uh a friend of mine once this I can't remember if this was something my friend Brad heard or if he just started saying it to me while we're because like this was in high school, and we would be like in the bathroom and he would just like with other people, we'd both be at the urinal, and and Brad would just start grunting and be like, feels like I'm pissing rice.
• 47:12
  Eric: What?
• 47:12
  Eric: Yeah, I know.
• 47:13
  Eric: Definitely a showstopper right there.
• 47:15
  Matt: That is a show, that is a follow-up question for sure.
• 47:18
  Eric: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 47:21
  Eric: I feel like whatever it is will will demand a follow-up question that that no that they cannot ask.
• 47:29
  Eric: Like, in no, in no way can they like, but they have to know.
• 47:33
  Matt: So it can't be I I agree with you.
• 47:35
  Matt: We don't want a direct threat.
• 47:37
  Eric: No, yeah.
• 47:38
  Eric: I don't want to make someone feel threatened.
• 47:39
  Eric: I don't want to make someone feel unsafe, but I do want to go for unsettling spookiness.
• 47:45
  Eric: Like, ooh, what the fuck?
• 47:47
  Matt: Something that would cause us to go use it as a cold open for this podcast.
• 47:51
  Eric: Yes.
• 47:52
  Eric: You know, something that you know for notable, they will tell, like as soon as they get into the office or wherever they're going, they're gonna be like, I have to tell you about this.
• 48:00
  Matt: I have to tell you what just happened to me.
• 48:03
  Matt: Yep.
• 48:04
  Matt: And they will tell that story at Thanksgiving's for decades.
• 48:08
  Matt: Yes.
• 48:08
  Matt: The creepiest thing, it implies that it almost needs to be somewhat generic.
• 48:15
  Matt: Somewhat generic or or you know because anything like anything like it'll come back around, that yeah, that could be a threat.
• 48:23
  Eric: Yeah, and that's kind of the challenge, right?
• 48:25
  Eric: That's what makes us fun, is like I don't want to cop out of just sounding like you're gonna go nuts and start hurting people, because that's in the United States of America, that's already enough of a concern.
• 48:37
  Matt: That's just being an American.
• 48:38
  Matt: What about something like maybe this works best if the person you're passing isn't saying anything?
• 48:46
  Matt: And this is saying something to someone, not just saying it aloud.
• 48:49
  Matt: Yeah.
• 48:50
  Matt: But if you turned and just said out of the blue, your dad used to say that and walk on.
• 48:56
  Eric: Is that true?
• 48:57
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 48:58
  Eric: The the slight time traveler innuendo or something like that.
• 49:01
  Matt: Something something off, something a little off-putting.
• 49:04
  Eric: Yeah, oh yeah, just to standard like walk up to him, like, hey, uh, what year is it?
• 49:08
  Matt: Or you just lean over and say something like, Hey, you know the sky's not real.
• 49:13
  Eric: Yeah.
• 49:13
  Eric: And walk on.
• 49:15
  Eric: That that does remind me of my I was I was in a discussion about um what are the best ways to respond to like uh wild ass conspiracy theories, like flat earthers as an example.
• 49:27
  Eric: Sure.
• 49:28
  Eric: And and someone someone's response was like, Oh no, the key is you just like take it even further than they did and just see how they respond.
• 49:35
  Eric: So like when they say, Oh yeah, the earth is flat, you go, Well, yeah, of course it's flat.
• 49:39
  Eric: Well, our side is flat, that's how cubes work.
• 49:44
  Eric: It's it's good shit.
• 49:45
  Eric: Or my my personal, not creepy, but my personal favorite is just always going to be man didn't go to the moon in 1969.
• 49:52
  Matt: He went back.
• 49:53
  Matt: Now, when you say your personal favorite, are you saying you don't think we went to the moon in 1969?
• 50:03
  Eric: I think we went back.
• 50:06
  Matt: I hear what you're saying, Eric.
• 50:07
  Matt: And I want to compliment you on the bit.
• 50:10
  Matt: I want to compliment you on the comment.
• 50:12
  Matt: Do you not think do you think we faked the moon landing?
• 50:15
  Matt: Is what I'm asking you.
• 50:16
  Eric: No, I believe I believe we went to the moon in 1969.
• 50:19
  Eric: You just believe we just not for the first time.
• 50:22
  Eric: First time.
• 50:24
  Matt: All right, that's fine.
• 50:24
  Matt: I'm I'm good with that.
• 50:26
  Eric: That's neither here nor there.
• 50:28
  Matt: You're right.
• 50:29
  Eric: Uh another, another, another good way, uh, just stop in the middle of the uh street, look directly into the sun, scream your lungs out, and then afterwards just go, oh, wrong channel.
• 50:39
  Eric: Keep walking.
• 50:42
  Matt: What?
• 50:44
  Matt: Yeah, that I mean that's just so bizarre.
• 50:47
  Matt: Yeah.
• 50:47
  Matt: Or what if you just like this?
• 50:50
  Matt: I don't know why this came to mind.
• 50:52
  Matt: What if you go, you're passing someone and go, you know, mesothelioma is a real thing.
• 50:58
  Matt: And you keep walking.
• 51:02
  Matt: Because there's a lot of questions there.
• 51:04
  Matt: Why would he be snip smelling it?
• 51:06
  Matt: Why, why, why did he need to smell me in the nape of my neck?
• 51:11
  Eric: Oh, God.
• 51:12
  Eric: Yeah.
• 51:13
  Eric: Do not encourage people to go sniffing others.
• 51:15
  Eric: Honestly, this this is a classic one, and this one's easy to do, fairly harmless.
• 51:20
  Eric: It requires a little bit of setup, right?
• 51:22
  Eric: It requires a a fairly uh uh you'll you'll see where I'm going, but it requires your mark uh to be in the same spot for at least like five five-ish minutes or so.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:37
  Eric: And you can tag team this with a friend, but you can do it by yourself.
• 51:41
  Eric: As you're walking by them, drop something and be like, oh damn, must have lost my head.
• 51:47
  Eric: Pick it up and keep walking.
• 51:49
  Eric: And then every minute, do that exact loop.
• 51:54
  Eric: Just see how many times you can do it before they start to realize that they've already seen you.
• 52:00
  Matt: Well, yes.
• 52:01
  Matt: I was gonna say they'd have to keep yes, the Yeah.
• 52:04
  Eric: Uh you could also make it more elaborate by bumping into your friend as you guys are passing, have like a quick pithy exchange and then move on, and then just keeping the same one.
• 52:13
  Eric: And just have yeah, keeping it.
• 52:14
  Matt: Are we not now getting into like flashmob territory?
• 52:18
  Matt: Borderline.
• 52:19
  Matt: We're getting into impractical jokers territory at the very least.
• 52:24
  Matt: And no one wants to be there.
• 52:25
  Eric: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 52:28
  Eric: It's all fun and games until you legitimately convince someone they're in a coma they can't wake up from and they have a you know a breakdown in public.
• 52:35
  Matt: I mean, we can just sit here and spitball things all fucking day.
• 52:39
  Matt: We can't do that.
• 52:40
  Eric: Well, what I what I think we should land on is just I think we've what we've actually done is landed on just good criteria.
• 52:45
  Eric: For anyone who's ever considering uh creeping people out on the street, A, probably shouldn't.
• 52:50
  Eric: A, consider not.
• 52:52
  Eric: Read the room.
• 52:53
  Eric: Um, but B, criteria A, don't make it weird and sexual, don't make it weird and violent.
• 52:58
  Eric: Make it uh off the wall.
• 53:01
  Eric: Off the wall.
• 53:02
  Matt: Um I think I think what we're saying, Eric, is whatever you say needs to be neither here nor there.
• 53:09
  Eric: Neither here nor there.
• 53:11
  Eric: Neither here nor there.
• 53:12
  Eric: Good cop out.
• 53:13
  Eric: Good circle back cop out.
• 53:14
  Eric: I like it.
• 53:15
  Matt: Absolutely.
• 53:15
  Matt: It needs to be in Centralia, Pennsylvania.
• 53:19
  Matt: Now, on that note, Eric, uh shall we leave that question behind uh at Zach Deuce?
• 53:25
  Matt: As always, thank you for the question.
• 53:27
  Eric: Thank you, Zachy D.
• 53:28
  Matt: Uh, and move on to local legends.
• 53:32
  Matt: We have not done with these in a little bit.
• 53:34
  Matt: Why don't we throw some out there?
• 53:36
  Matt: Eric, you got a local legend you want to share with me?
• 53:38
  Eric: I do, and uh and it is a bit unorthodox.
• 53:42
  Matt: Aren't they all?
• 53:43
  Eric: Um, in that, oh, as far as I'm aware, it's not some Japanese cryptid?
• 53:50
  Eric: No, no, but uh as far as I'm aware, I'm the only person who's experienced this local legend or had this exchange.
• 53:59
  Eric: I think this is the birth of a local legend map.
• 54:01
  Matt: Oh, a birth of a local.
• 54:03
  Matt: I was about to say, how does this qualify as a local legend?
• 54:06
  Matt: Okay.
• 54:07
  Eric: All right, I'm here with you.
• 54:08
  Eric: It's local to me.
• 54:09
  Eric: Um hyper local.
• 54:12
  Eric: My little neck of the woods.
• 54:14
  Eric: Um I ordered breakfast yesterday.
• 54:18
  Eric: I was feeling very, very lazy, so I did some Grubhub, got some breakfast.
• 54:21
  Matt: As one does.
• 54:22
  Eric: So I I ordered breakfast and I see, you know, the order updates.
• 54:26
  Eric: Oh, they're on the way.
• 54:27
  Eric: I know them well.
• 54:28
  Eric: And I see the name of my delivery jo driver.
• 54:32
  Eric: Um, I'm pretty sure this is just like an archaic spelling of a normal name, but the way the name reads is Jamey.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_01: Jamey.
• 54:41
  Eric: Uh, I think it's supposed to be Jamie, but the way it's spelled is like J A I M A I E.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_01: Jamey.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_01: Jamey.
• 54:50
  Eric: I I get the I I I'm tracking the thing, I get the final alert from Grub of like, oh, your food is delivered.
• 54:55
  Eric: I'm like, oh, cool.
• 54:56
  Eric: Let me go to my front step and get it.
• 54:58
  Eric: But I think it was one of those things where he marked it delivered before he got out of his car and like walked.
• 55:02
  Matt: I hate it when they do that.
• 55:03
  Matt: I've had such problems recently.
• 55:05
  Eric: I've I I it does mo 90% of the time I'm like, oh, this is awkward.
• 55:09
  Eric: But Matt, this I have never been more grateful that this happened.
• 55:13
  Eric: Matt, let me tell you, I opened my door and stepping out of like a fucking Maserati, like a fucking European sports car, is a man dressed in a suit like a yakuza.
• 55:29
  Eric: Like he is wearing a Japanese mobster suit.
• 55:33
  Eric: Okay.
• 55:33
  Eric: He has his hair slicked back.
• 55:36
  Eric: Slicked back.
• 55:36
  Eric: He is wearing aviators.
• 55:38
  Eric: He has a bolo that is a skull.
• 55:42
  Eric: He has a bolo.
• 55:43
  Eric: He he looks so fucking sharp.
• 55:48
  Eric: And like he's as as I come out of my door in my athletic shorts and stained t-shirt.
• 55:56
  Eric: Nice.
• 55:56
  Eric: Um, he is carrying my bag that has my toast and oatmeal in it.
• 56:00
  Eric: Like, and that is what you ordered on Crub Hub?
• 56:03
  Eric: Is it was well, it was like toast with uh it was it was it was buttered toast, oatmeal with fresh cut fruit, and uh scrambled eggs.
• 56:11
  Eric: Um you uh you don't have those things?
• 56:14
  Eric: I do have none of these ingredients in my house.
• 56:16
  Matt: You don't have uh bread or egg?
• 56:19
  Matt: I'm sorry.
• 56:20
  Matt: We have to pause the story.
• 56:22
  Matt: Okay.
• 56:24
  Matt: Eric.
• 56:25
  Eric: Go on.
• 56:27
  Matt: Keep kicking.
• 56:28
  Matt: Not even a not even a meat, not even a bacon or uh or a hash.
• 56:34
  Eric: No, no, no, no.
• 56:35
  Eric: Because I wanted I wanted calories, but I didn't want to like get a bunch of greasy food.
• 56:38
  Eric: So I was like, all right, I'll right.
• 56:40
  Matt: Hey, you know what?
• 56:41
  Matt: Uh we don't uh we don't we don't yuck yums here.
• 56:44
  Matt: I'm just saying you put you put the delivery fee out there, you might as well get a bacon strip.
• 56:51
  Matt: Anyway, you were saying I don't know.
• 56:52
  Eric: So so at this point, at this point, this is like interesting, this is an interesting happening.
• 56:58
  Eric: I'm like, cool, but we haven't quite hit like legend status until as he saunters up my steps to hand me my bag.
• 57:08
  Matt: Okay.
• 57:09
  Eric: And I I just flat out say, I'm like, dude, I I say, and I quote, dude, you look fucking sharp today.
• 57:17
  Eric: His response is like he like cocks his head back with like this grin on, he's like, hey, hey, thanks.
• 57:24
  Eric: Uh I dress like this every day.
• 57:26
  Eric: I got a beautiful wife at home.
• 57:28
  Eric: I gotta keep up.
• 57:30
  Eric: And then just hands me my food and saunters the fuck back to his car and drives away.
• 57:39
  Eric: What I dress like this every day because I've got a beautiful wife and I've gotta keep up.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_01: I've gotta keep up.
• 57:50
  Eric: Wow.
• 57:51
  Eric: This this mafia man who is simultaneously a beacon of positive masculinity, devoted husband, the you daft stamp of opinion of approval, yeah.
• 58:07
  Eric: Like he he didn't like it it blew my fucking mind, man.
• 58:11
  Eric: I was just insurance and stood there and watched her drive away.
• 58:16
  Eric: I was like, was that real?
• 58:18
  Eric: Did that happen?
• 58:20
  Matt: That is shocking.
• 58:22
  Matt: That is and his name is Jamey.
• 58:25
  Matt: I I can only hope that what what would solidify this as local legend criteria for me, Eric, is if this person is known by other people in the area.
• 58:38
  Matt: So, Maryland residents, if you have had a Grubhub driver and his name has been Jamey, and he's looked like a Yakuza, please let us know.
• 58:49
  Matt: He is so he was like one of the coolest people I've ever seen in my entire life.
• 58:53
  Matt: If he delivered my food, I'd feel like I would remember him and I would have been like, oh, you mean this guy?
• 58:58
  Eric: I will never forget.
• 58:59
  Eric: I will I will think of him on my deathbed.
• 59:02
  Matt: Wow.
• 59:03
  Matt: Well, you're not gonna be thinking of me because I'll be dead already.
• 59:06
  Matt: Um so wow, Eric, thank you.
• 59:10
  Matt: Um that is hyper local.
• 59:12
  Matt: It's so local, but it's so local, potentially no one else knows about it.
• 59:17
  Eric: Jamey, potentially Jamie.
• 59:19
  Eric: If by any chance you hear my voice, uh I would enter he's on my short list of interview immediately.
• 59:26
  Matt: Yeah, Eric, I'm gonna go a little further afield.
• 59:28
  Matt: In fact, I'm gonna go across the pond.
• 59:30
  Eric: Across the across the pond in it.
• 59:33
  Matt: Yes, for uh I'd like to talk to you, Eric, about David John Perry.
• 59:39
  Matt: Now you might not recognize that name.
• 59:41
  Matt: You might recognize uh you might only know him as the Norwich Puppet Man.
• 59:46
  Matt: The Norwich Puppet Man.
• 59:50
  Matt: Yes, he's from originally, he's a street entertainer from Norwich, Norfolk, England.
• 59:56
  Matt: But now, due to a controversy, he resides in Great Yarmouth.
• 1:00:02
  Matt: Great Yarmouth.
• 1:00:04
  Matt: Yarmouth.
• 1:00:05
  Eric: Right next to Lesser Yarmouth?
• 1:00:07
  Matt: Right next to the lesser one.
• 1:00:08
  Matt: I'm gonna quickly um I'm gonna read to you some information from him directly from uh the Wikipedia because he is legendary enough to have a Wikipedia.
• 1:00:20
  Matt: I am gonna send you a Google image result so you can.
• 1:00:24
  Eric: Oh, this man is adorable.
• 1:00:25
  Matt: So you can gaze upon him, and of course, we will put this on the Instagram.
• 1:00:31
  Eric: Oh, he is just so precious.
• 1:00:33
  Matt: So, the Norwich puppet man.
• 1:00:35
  Matt: I'm gonna start I the reason usually I find a news article or something, but I find this Wikipedia article to be so um I'm gonna start off now with from his style section using a karaoke machine.
• 1:00:49
  Matt: The puppets dance while Perry sings his own interpretations over songs by Elvis Presley and the Beatles.
• 1:01:01
  Matt: Not to them, okay over them.
• 1:01:04
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:01:05
  Matt: Now he first started performing as the Norwich puppet man in the mid-90s, but in 1997 he was forced to quit when his incapacity benefit was stopped because he was earning money through busking.
• 1:01:20
  Matt: Aww.
• 1:01:21
  Matt: But he returned to busking on Gentleman's Walk in late 2005, early 2006, by which time internet sites had begun to spread his fame.
• 1:01:33
  Matt: He does not hold, nor does he require a busker's license to busk in either Norwich or Great Yarmouth.
• 1:01:40
  Matt: Now he unusually performs in pedestrian zones located in the city center of Norwich and the town center of Great Yarmouth, typically two or three times a week in the afternoons or the weekends.
• 1:01:56
  Matt: Now in Norwich, the puppet man can mostly be found on Gentleman's Walk off of St.
• 1:02:01
  Matt: Peter Mancroft and the old Haymarket around the bottom of Hay Hill, you know.
• 1:02:07
  Eric: Oh, yeah, the old Haymarket.
• 1:02:08
  Matt: His eccentric style of, quote, dancing in the city center behind the ghetto blaster and waving his puppets in time to an eclectic range of music, end quote, has made the puppet uh puppet man a cult figure in Norwich and Great Yarmouth.
• 1:02:24
  Matt: In a competition organized by the Castle Quarter Shopping Center titled The Faces That Sum Up Why Norwich is such a fine city, he was named as one of the 25 faces of Norwich.
• 1:02:38
  Matt: In uh 2008, he was hired by a nightclub in Norwich to perform some live action in front of 2,000 people for a student event.
• 1:02:47
  Matt: In 2008, he publicly announced he was gonna stop busking in Norwich and move his activities to Great Yarmouth, but he has since continued to appear in Norwich on a regular basis.
• 1:02:59
  Matt: Eric.
• 1:03:00
  Eric: Well, he's a Norwich man through and through.
• 1:03:02
  Matt: He's a Norwich man through and through.
• 1:03:04
  Matt: I'm gonna read to you some of his puppets' names.
• 1:03:06
  Matt: Oh, please do.
• 1:03:08
  Matt: There's the swearing Geordie man.
• 1:03:11
  Eric: Okay.
• 1:03:12
  Matt: Uh there's Dogal.
• 1:03:16
  Matt: There's Roy Waller, a snake hand puppet made out of an old worn sock.
• 1:03:21
  Matt: Classic.
• 1:03:22
  Eric: Classic, classic.
• 1:03:23
  Matt: Billy McDog.
• 1:03:26
  Matt: Gary.
• 1:03:27
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:03:27
  Matt: Now, what do you think Gary is?
• 1:03:29
  Eric: I'm gonna guess Gary is a grasshopper.
• 1:03:34
  Eric: It's gonna be something that starts with G.
• 1:03:36
  Matt: No, no.
• 1:03:36
  Matt: He's a banana eating gorilla.
• 1:03:39
  Matt: So you were right about the starting with G, yes.
• 1:03:41
  Eric: Gary the gorilla.
• 1:03:42
  Matt: He's named after Gary Glitter.
• 1:03:44
  Matt: I don't know who that is, though.
• 1:03:45
  Matt: Big Tom, Mick, Big Brenda, which is named after David Perry's wife.
• 1:03:53
  Matt: Playing with fire there, Norwich Puppet Man.
• 1:03:56
  Matt: Uh Basil, a cunning fox.
• 1:03:59
  Matt: Susie, a sassy squirrel, Franny, named after a local man, and Gary Lemon, named after his best friend who likes lemons.
• 1:04:10
  Matt: Huh.
• 1:04:10
  Matt: Now, there, as you may be able to uh tell, Eric, there are uh conflicting public perceptions of the Norwich puppet man.
• 1:04:20
  Eric: Oh, yes, because when I think controversial public opinion, I think a man and his puppets.
• 1:04:24
  Matt: Well, he as a local original, he has appeared on a series of postcards in Norfolk, uh claiming uh to capture unappreciated parts of the country.
• 1:04:34
  Matt: Uh there is a group was set up uh in his honor, a social uh website, uh social on the social network website, Facebook.
• 1:04:43
  Matt: That's when this was written.
• 1:04:44
  Matt: Oh yeah, he has over 4,000 members.
• 1:04:47
  Matt: I did check it out myself.
• 1:04:48
  Matt: There are plenty of view uh uh videos of him with lots of views.
• 1:04:53
  Matt: And this, I'm just gonna say this, uh, in line with his actually, I'm gonna read this.
• 1:04:59
  Matt: I'm not gonna say it, I'm gonna read it.
• 1:05:00
  Matt: In line with his varied public perception, Perry has not only been featured on local newspapers on the internet, but also become the subject of abuse by some people.
• 1:05:10
  Matt: And sometimes, sometimes, Eric, even violence.
• 1:05:16
  Eric: No.
• 1:05:17
  Matt: In September 2010, he was reported to have been attacked in Great Yarmouth by an unhappy shop owner that caused countywide outrage.
• 1:05:27
  Eric: Understandably so.
• 1:05:29
  Matt: Understandably so.
• 1:05:30
  Matt: Uh, Perry was in 2010, 2015 uh featured as a cult figure in the city on the BBC Newsbeat website.
• 1:05:39
  Matt: And Eric, I also want to say that I have look if you look him up on YouTube, there is a lovely YouTube video of people, I think on his birthday, celebrating the Norwich puppet man by kind of flash mobbing him with their own puppets.
• 1:05:57
  Eric: That's adorable, and singing to
• 1:06:00
  Matt: Him and then he sang with them.
• 1:06:01
  Matt: It's very adorable.
• 1:06:03
  Eric: It's precious as hell.
• 1:06:04
  Matt: We'll throw up the Norwich Puppet Man on the Instagram.
• 1:06:08
  Matt: I'll also showcase uh something from that video I'm talking about.
• 1:06:12
  Matt: And uh Eric, that's my legend for you.
• 1:06:15
  Eric: So we've got on the one end of today's local legend spectrum, we have the grubhub Yakuza loving husband, and then on the other side we have the Norwich Puppet Man.
• 1:06:27
  Matt: Yes, and both are legendary in their own right, are they not?
• 1:06:31
  Eric: God damn right they are.
• 1:06:33
  Matt: And with that, Eric, I think that does it for episode 45 of You Didn't Ask for This.
• 1:06:40
  Matt: God damn.
• 1:06:41
  Matt: As always, folks, send us those fucking questions.
• 1:06:44
  Matt: Right, give them the business.
• 1:06:45
  Matt: I'm gonna give them the business, Eric.
• 1:06:47
  Matt: Send us the questions.
• 1:06:48
  Matt: You can do that on a variety of ways on you didn't ask for this uh at gmail.com.
• 1:06:55
  Matt: You can email them to us there.
• 1:06:57
  Matt: You can seek us out on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook uh under you didn't ask pod.
• 1:07:03
  Matt: That's the letter you didn't ask pod.
• 1:07:06
  Matt: You can also call the thought line and leave us a voicemail, which we might just play on the show, although chances are pretty good that we will play it on the show.
• 1:07:17
  Matt: That number is 410-929-5329.
• 1:07:22
  Matt: Again, 410-929-5329.
• 1:07:26
  Matt: Give us the questions, give us your local legends, give us anything you want to give us.
• 1:07:32
  Eric: Just give it, just give it.
• 1:07:35
  Matt: Just give it up.
• 1:07:36
  Eric: Whatever it is, it's neither here nor there.
• 1:07:38
  Matt: Very good, Eric.
• 1:07:39
  Matt: Thank you.
• 1:07:39
  Matt: Very good.
• 1:07:40
  Matt: I'm proud of you.
• 1:07:40
  Matt: Um again, we uh you can hear us on the Shark Attack 2 episode of God help you uh of uh Podcasters Assemble.
• 1:07:51
  Matt: I don't know the actual title the episode because it hasn't come out when we recorded this, but by the time you hear it, it'll be out.
• 1:07:57
  Matt: So go check out Podcasters Assemble on uh whatever wherever you get your podcasts.
• 1:08:04
  Matt: Um and on that same topic, drop us a review wherever you get your podcasts on the good pods.
• 1:08:12
  Matt: If you didn't listen to the best of yet that we released last week, why don't you check that out on good pods, help us out there, drop us a review, drop us a review on the Apple Pods on the on the on the Spotify.
• 1:08:25
  Matt: You can do Spotify reviews now.
• 1:08:27
  Matt: Eric, uh have I missed anything here in the business?
• 1:08:30
  Eric: I don't think you've missed a goddamn thing.
• 1:08:34
  Matt: All right.
• 1:08:35
  Matt: Well then, from uh from all of us here, uh you didn't ask for this.
• 1:08:40
  Matt: Uh my name is Matt Shay.
• 1:08:42
  Eric: My name's Eric Poach.
• 1:08:44
  Matt: And hey, listen, you didn't ask.
• 1:08:47
  Eric: But uh it was around this time that Eric realized he hadn't prepared for the bit.
• 1:08:55
  Eric: The sweat started running down his forehead, his back, his dirty t-shirt clinging to him like a dirty t-shirt soaked in sweat.
• 1:09:05
  Eric: He looked at his co-host, who was probably waiting for him to stop stalling and maybe come up with something funnier.
• 1:09:14
  Eric: Is he just gonna keep doing this?
• 1:09:15
  Eric: Matt thought.
• 1:09:16
  Eric: When's he gonna shut the fuck up so we can re-record the bit?
• 1:09:20
  Eric: But Eric had other plans.
• 1:09:22
  Eric: Just keep talking until it eventually kind of became funny, but not really.
• 1:09:27
  Eric: And sure, their relationship had been deteriorating somewhat recently, of late.
• 1:09:33
  Eric: Oh, interesting.
• 1:09:34
  Eric: Matt had stopped giving Eric those loving glances and small touches that they had become accustomed to in their early days.
• 1:09:42
  Eric: Eric too had been staying out later and later at night.
• 1:09:45
  SPEAKER_01: Louis played the music.
• 1:09:46
  Eric: Matt wondering where he had been.
• 1:09:47
  Eric: Yeah, Louis back to the bottle again.
• 1:09:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, turn it up.
• 1:09:52
  Eric: As Eric tried to drown the memories of factories.
• 1:09:55
  Eric: Turn Eric down.
• 1:09:56
  Eric: The trenches.
• 1:09:57
  Eric: Just turn Eric all the way off.