Latest / The BIG Home Ed Conversations | Home Education / Roadblocks to Home Education: Overcoming Doubts, Fears & Practical Barriers

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Roadblocks to Home Education: Overcoming Doubts, Fears & Practical Barriers · The BIG Home Ed Conversations | Home Education

0:30
Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of the big home
0:33
Ed conversations. I'm Kelly Rig.
0:36
I'm a home Ed mom of two, founder of off roading
0:38
motherhood and a qualified mindset coach.
0:40
I'm passionate about supporting parents and neuro divergent
0:42
families as they navigate the transition from mainstream
0:44
schooling to home education. And I'm here together with my Co
0:48
host Ashley Venerio. She's a fellow home Ed mom of
0:50
three and a former primary teacher.
0:52
We created the big Home of Conversations podcast with what
0:55
began as really honest, heartfelt talks around the
0:57
coffee table, and it's now grown into a space for hundreds of
1:00
listeners. Now tune in for real, unfiltered
1:02
conversations about mindset, behaviour, challenges,
1:05
educational philosophies, and the emotional journey of
1:08
alternative education. So we cut through the noise and
1:10
we focus on what's really mattering to home educating
1:13
families right now, offering clarity, confidence and
1:16
hopefully some community in every episode.
1:19
We have decided this summer to shift our gratitude towards
1:24
basically an incredible sponsored opportunity from out
1:26
school. They reached out to us a little
1:28
while ago and asked us to review their online platform.
1:32
So basically a space that hosts classes by vetted teachers from
1:35
around the world, offering online lessons, self-paced
1:38
courses and tutoring. So whatever your kid is into,
1:41
trust me, whatever they're into, you're almost guaranteed to find
1:44
what you're looking for. And if you as a home educator
1:47
make some really great resources or have a subject that you're
1:49
really, really talented at, maybe it's worth taking a look
1:52
as well to see if you can actually make their platform
1:54
your latest side hustle. So I know that Ashley has gotten
1:57
really stuck in actually, and her girls have been enjoying
2:01
quite a lot of classes on there. This summer we we tried a few
2:05
courses. It just worked out because we
2:07
were bouncing all over the place visiting family and definitely
2:13
did not, I did not bring any schooling with us.
2:15
We just wanted to enjoy. But it did give us an
2:17
opportunity to kind of say, oh, we could take a quick class here
2:20
and there. And as I was signing up, I
2:23
quickly realized that it made sense for us to actually sign up
2:26
for their membership just to save a bit of money.
2:29
There are a few membership tiers that out school has, so go in
2:34
and take a look if you want to take up a few classes or maybe
2:38
if you have a few kids take a look at their different tiers.
2:41
See which one might suit you based on that criteria.
2:44
Because credits can be used across siblings and you can
2:48
actually roll the unused credits month to month.
2:51
So I'm using our credit pool to book classes for all three of my
2:55
kids. And I originally thought that I
2:57
would just be doing this for the summer as just a way to kind of
3:01
plug in some learning here and there.
3:02
But we found some great courses that I think we might continue
3:05
with into the school year. One of them being this French
3:09
summer camp that my older 2 are doing and they're really
3:11
enjoying it. So now I think that when that
3:14
ends, I might actually look to see what courses this teacher
3:19
has into the school year because we've really just enjoyed her
3:21
style and communication and the way she gets the students
3:25
talking to each other and practicing.
3:26
So I think we're going to, we're finding that we're going to keep
3:29
going with some of these, which is which is good.
3:32
Yeah, I think what's really nice as well is just, again, how
3:35
unique some of them are, like horse medicine ones and stuff
3:37
that they sound like they're going to do and like stable
3:39
management and stuff like that. It's just really fascinating.
3:41
Like if they've got such a random subjects that they're
3:43
interested in, it just gives you a chance to kind of really delve
3:46
into something fascinating from someone who knows a lot about
3:50
it. Saves you having to obviously
3:51
try and find, I mean, we're always finding people to inspire
3:54
our kids, right? Like places to go and things to
3:56
do. But to bring it into your home
3:58
with an online class, it's just so handy and it and it helps to
4:02
really kind of plug that gap a bit without you having to come
4:04
up with it all by yourself. And don't be afraid to reach out
4:08
to the teachers because that course that you're talking about
4:11
actually wasn't offered at a time that suited us because it's
4:14
an American teacher and we're obviously in British time.
4:17
And it would have been at like 9:30 or 10:00 at night, which
4:20
would not have worked for us. And so I just said, hey, I've
4:23
got 2 girls, probably could grab one or two more.
4:28
But you know, I'll, I'll reach out to my, my friendship base
4:31
here and just see if anyone's interested.
4:33
But would it be possible to offer it at a different time?
4:36
Because that just is too late for us.
4:38
But it's so on point with what my girls are into right now.
4:41
And she was so more than willing to do it, which is fabulous.
4:45
Like she really emailed back and forth with me through the out
4:48
school platform just to say what time would work?
4:51
Would this work? And we were going back and forth
4:53
on dates and then we signed up, which was great.
4:55
So yeah, don't be shy to to ask for a different time if it
4:58
doesn't work for you. Such a great way to connect with
5:02
really passionate people, isn't it?
5:03
So if you guys obviously want to try out school as this is a sort
5:07
of partnership with them over the summer, we have got a $35
5:11
discount code off your family's first month.
5:14
So if you go to outschool.com/home Ed, the home
5:18
Ed bit is all in capitals and then you pop in the code Home
5:22
ED-35, which is also all in capitals, then essentially you
5:26
will get $35 off your first month.
5:28
So hopefully that is helpful for you guys.
5:31
Enjoy moving on to our subject for today.
5:35
So we wanted to talk to you guys about the kind of the
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roadblocks, the stuff that tends to get in our way when we're
5:41
kind of deciding to home educate, maybe in those early
5:44
years of home education when we're trying to kind of get our
5:46
feet underneath us. Obviously, I'm currently doing
5:49
my get the head straight to home Ed series as my kind of like
5:52
solo episode through the summer. And essentially I wanted to kind
5:55
of just have a lovely kind of proper chat with Ashley, do one
5:57
of our proper episodes around this as well in a more kind of
6:00
casual way and just talk about some of the roadblocks that we
6:02
came up against. Because obviously we meet people
6:06
every day who are just starting out home educating their kids.
6:09
They come and join a group we go to or we chat to them on
6:12
Instagram or whatever. And so many of you have reached
6:17
out recently to tell us that the podcast has really helped you to
6:20
get your head in the right space to kind of know that you can do
6:23
this, that you feel confident that you're going to be able to
6:25
go on to be a great home educator and that everything's
6:28
going to be all right. Which is such really, really
6:30
lovely feedback and genuinely warms my heart to hear that.
6:33
So if that is you and you listen, then please do tell me.
6:36
Because it always makes us feel like the hours and hours and
6:39
hours we put into making this podcast happen every week is
6:42
worth it. Because obviously at the moment,
6:43
it doesn't pay us, does it? Actually, we're here to do it
6:45
because we love to do it. One day we'll reach a point
6:48
where we managed to feel like we're rolling in it too.
6:50
That's the goal, right? But no, I'm joking.
6:53
But we're definitely here to serve you and to offer you the
6:56
support that you need. So everybody who reaches out to
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us and tells us that they love it and that it's made a
7:00
difference to them really makes a difference to us too.
7:03
It makes us remember why we do this because it, it was really
7:05
tricky back at the start. And I think it still is
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sometimes even today. Like you find moments of doubt,
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like maybe when you see someone's kids who are a bit
7:14
older, maybe doing these really amazing things.
7:18
Or my kids are both neurodivergent, which means
7:20
they've really struggled to access group settings, which I
7:22
often look at people and find myself going, oh, I'd really
7:25
worry they're not kind of learning to learn as a group, or
7:29
they're not able to participate very easily in those
7:31
environments. And will that mean they'll
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struggle if they say they want to go on to university later or
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something? And then I get all of my head
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and I have to kind of really sit there and work out why I'm
7:39
feeling like this and what's the actual issue here?
7:41
And is it OK for them to not access education that way?
7:44
Well, of course it is. There's Open University, there's
7:46
online clauses, there's a multitude of different ways to
7:49
access qualifications and opportunities in their future
7:53
that totally will serve them in however capacity they can access
7:56
that education and that things don't have to look a certain way
7:59
to be successful. But I know that when we first
8:03
started out, we had quite a lot of things kind of almost getting
8:08
in the way in terms of my headspace and feeling like I
8:11
knew kind of what I wanted for the sort of near future, how I
8:15
wanted home Ed to look. My partner was a little bit
8:17
uncertain. He's, he's gradually learning to
8:21
trust my instincts. I think home Ed was actually a
8:23
really great turning point for us and our relationship in
8:26
helping him to understand that I do have strong instincts about
8:29
things, but that quite often they, they work out really well
8:32
and sometimes they seem completely nuts.
8:34
So it's I understand why he has his trepidations and obviously
8:38
most of us do. Like I googled all the same
8:40
things that we all have. Is this actually legal?
8:42
Are we actually allowed to home educate our kids?
8:44
Like, is this not just for kids who are like excluded from
8:47
school or terminally ill or something else is going on?
8:50
Like, is this actually a thing that everybody randomly can do?
8:53
Like, oh, that's crazy. And so I had to ask all those
8:55
questions too, back in those early stages.
8:57
And I think having the faith that.
9:01
Yeah, that there are roadblocks, but most of them are things that
9:05
we can fix or work our way around or reassure ourselves or
9:09
learn to work with that actually, those might actually
9:12
be values. They might be really important
9:14
to you and you need to keep them and they're still going to be
9:17
there, but you learn to work with them.
9:19
So I thought we'd just chat about that today and talk about
9:22
some of the stuff that came up for us in those early months and
9:25
kind of in the early years, to be honest.
9:27
Because I mean, I'm sort of four or five years in now and I don't
9:30
get an awful lot of roadblocks anymore.
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I'm pretty good at reflecting and noticing when something
9:35
feels like it's big and stuck in my way that actually, I know
9:39
that there are definitely ways I can work my way around it, but
9:41
it didn't feel that way in the early years.
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And I don't know if you found that too.
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Ashley, did you think that there were some bits that just felt
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like a really big hurdle? I.
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Think and it's so hard to, you know, seeing this earlier to
9:55
look back because now we've been doing it so long and the hurdles
9:58
have changed, right? Like every year there's
10:01
something else, whether it's preparing them for specific
10:04
exam, if that's what you're interested in or feeling like
10:08
they're entering the next tier of learning.
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So they're going from like elementary school to middle
10:12
school or, you know, have we done what we need to do that,
10:15
that sort of thing. But or maybe it's external, you
10:19
know, state requirements for like in England.
10:21
What might be changing for for those of us here?
10:24
So those things. But if I try to go back to the
10:27
initial hurdle, I think I quickly found out in Italy,
10:33
which is where we were at the time when my daughter would need
10:36
to be registered as home educating, that it was legal and
10:39
it wasn't a big deal. And in fact, some of the towns
10:43
in, in Italy can make it feel like a big deal, but ours was
10:46
like, OK, cool, like, no, no problem.
10:49
So I think that I was fortunate in that case.
10:53
And once that once I found out that that was easily done, that
11:00
piece was fine. And I, I was like, OK, this is
11:03
going to be fine. So I think the hurdle initially
11:07
for me, aside from my husband thinking it was maybe weird and
11:13
like, why would anyone do that? Because he's Italian, raised in
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Italy and, and there's very few homeschoolers in Italy.
11:19
It's legal, but it's just not common.
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And so compared to the US, it was, I think he was just sort of
11:25
like, wait, what? Like, why do you want our kids
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to be weird, you know? And so there was that piece, but
11:32
the external piece felt more important because like of the
11:36
legal issues, you were saying like, I'm not trying to break
11:38
any laws here. So like, if we can just
11:40
understand how to do this properly and show that we're
11:44
kind of working with the the city and, and whatever that
11:48
looks like, then that's, that was OK.
11:50
So I think that once that got sorted, I felt much more
11:56
confident in the decision because I wasn't doing anything
12:04
wrong. Yeah, I guess, you know, and I
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feel very confident that I can figure things out.
12:09
I'm I'm not unable to do so. So I think I felt pretty
12:13
confident that especially, I mean first grade, I had taught
12:16
first grade, it felt fine. Yeah.
12:19
But I quickly then found out that homeschool looks very
12:23
different, which is the point obviously, but it does look very
12:27
different than than what I did in a school setting.
12:30
So yeah. So I think the biggest hurdle
12:32
for me, I guess there were two, right, the external piece.
12:36
And then of course just the added complication of doing all
12:39
this in a language that's not your native language and that
12:41
you never had formal training in and speak very mediocre.
12:45
So there was that fun bit. I think people just assume if
12:48
you can't speak the language that you're not intelligent and
12:51
that that is such a humbling situation to be in.
12:54
I do recommend it for everyone to experience at least once in
12:56
their life. You will, you will stop judging
12:59
people that can't speak your language properly, I promise
13:01
you. So there is that.
13:02
But so, yeah, I think the external bit and then the
13:05
component of just like my personal relationship with my
13:08
husband and deciding how our kids are going to be raised and
13:13
a lot of that, I think he had to defer to me a lot, which I know
13:16
is probably very hard for him because I try to think about
13:19
myself in that situation. And if my husband was pushing
13:21
for something that I was very unsure of, I think I would have
13:24
a really hard time letting that go and like losing that battle.
13:31
But he personally, I think I can say this without, you know,
13:35
spilling beans or something. He, he personally did not like
13:38
school. He was not a good student in the
13:40
early years, I would say. And he was very young in his
13:44
grade, like the youngest you can be essentially.
13:47
And I think that probably played a part in that.
13:50
So I just, I think ultimately I was like, hey, you want our kids
13:53
to go to school, but you didn't even like school like you, you
13:56
know, but the people, OK. But they'll still see people.
13:58
OK. Well, you know, so it's kind of
13:59
like that. Yeah.
14:01
That conversation, but I do feel like I was so passionate about
14:04
it because I ultimately felt that the unknown of home
14:11
education was better than the unknown of other people
14:19
parenting and disciplining my children.
14:22
It wasn't necessarily about the education, although that
14:25
certainly does come into play, but it was largely about the
14:29
communication style and the way that some teachers are going to
14:35
be reprimanding your children and doling out punishments and
14:39
making them believe things about who they are and their ability
14:42
to do things. That isn't appropriate In my
14:47
mind and I knowing my children, for some kids it's probably fine
14:52
and that's fine. But for me, knowing my children,
14:56
I just could tell you that one of them in particular would have
14:59
been absolutely crushed by that process.
15:04
It's one of the things where it's luck of the jaw.
15:07
You just don't know who what teacher you get.
15:09
And in Italy you get a teacher for the elementary years, for
15:12
all five years. And I saw the kids, I mean, my
15:16
friends that had kids older than us, I saw them have a horrible
15:20
teacher and just the constant battle and the I just, I
15:23
couldn't. So that's ultimately, Yeah, I.
15:26
Think the struggle with that as well is that if you are having
15:29
challenges with a teacher and you're not happy about stuff
15:32
that's happening inside the school walls and quite often,
15:35
that that then becomes a whole other fun kettle of fish to be
15:38
trying to navigate, right? Like you're just trying to
15:40
advocate for your child. You're then having to argue with
15:42
the teacher. You really don't believe in
15:44
certain things. You're probably also going to be
15:46
countering some of the teachings that are happening in school at
15:48
home because you're going to be kind of going, Nope, that's OK.
15:50
You're allowed to stand up for yourself.
15:52
You're not, you don't have to just set up with that.
15:53
And like, so then you're putting them in a difficult position.
15:56
And actually some people believe that this stuff builds
15:59
resilience. I I really don't believe that it
16:01
does. It's a whole other conversation,
16:02
really, but the concept of it's. Proven that it doesn't, by the
16:05
way. Yeah, it.
16:05
It proven that it doesn't. It's just trauma at the end of
16:08
the day, isn't it? It's just unpleasant.
16:09
And I think that ultimately having that oversight, and I
16:13
think this is sometimes I have been referred to as a helicopter
16:15
parent as well in the past, which is delightful.
16:18
And just like having some level of oversight in our kids
16:21
education in the styles that they're being spoken to, in
16:24
their relationships with their peers and actually being able to
16:27
support them and coach them through tricky situations
16:29
instead of kind of them coming home from school, you have
16:31
absolutely no idea what they've gone through that day.
16:34
And then just trying to support them the best you can with as
16:36
little information as you can get.
16:38
And there's influence as you can have.
16:40
Like there's actually not an awful lot of influence you can
16:42
then have over the school and how they are delivering
16:45
something to them either. So you're kind of then just a
16:47
bit stuck. And I guess, yeah, we we're
16:50
constantly learning and flexing and adapting and observing and
16:53
changing at home. And I know that that wouldn't
16:55
really be possible in a more formal environment.
16:59
Well, you're so right because I was listening to this radio show
17:05
when I first moved here and they had some teachers on and they
17:10
were talking about, gosh, I wish I remembered what this was.
17:13
It was while I was unpacking. So, you know, just on in the
17:16
background as I was like getting settled in our new home and I
17:19
was just really interested in it.
17:21
Obviously they were talking about teachers talking about the
17:23
English school system. I know nothing about it.
17:25
So the one of the teachers was saying about how these parents
17:31
are complaining about the books that are being read in the
17:33
school. And they were saying how they're
17:36
like, well, gosh, if you want to complain, you got to send your
17:38
kids to private school. Like we're doing what we're
17:41
doing and this is public school. We're doing it.
17:44
We choose the government has their input, but this is it.
17:47
And if you want to argue with us, nothing's going to happen.
17:51
We're not we don't have to change a thing and we're not
17:52
going to if you want that, right, to be able to influence
17:57
what your children are being taught or what books they're
18:00
reading or being able to kind of like share that, you got to go
18:04
to public. You got to go to private school.
18:05
You can't do it in public school.
18:07
And it's so funny because I think Americans are just used to
18:10
the ability to come and, you know, have a conversation with
18:13
the teacher. And I'm not saying change is
18:15
going to happen, but at least understanding where each other
18:18
is coming from in a situation, especially if it's like a
18:21
bullying situation or, you know, your kid has a special need or
18:24
they're just a certain type of personality.
18:26
And you know, hey, if you, if my kid doesn't turn their homework
18:29
in and you go at them in front of 30 kids, they're going to
18:33
shut down and all you're going to do is make them hate
18:36
themselves even more. Like, I promise, if my kid
18:39
didn't do their homework, they're feeling real bad about
18:41
it. Anyway.
18:42
Some teachers are really open to that feedback, right?
18:45
Yeah. Other kids, like when you just
18:47
embarrass a kid in front of another kid the whole class,
18:50
like that's just not, it's not cool for me.
18:52
And my kids would not respond to that well.
18:54
So I think that's that's the thing.
18:58
And here, if you were being told, hey, if you want to have a
19:01
conversation with us about something you've you're not,
19:03
it's not going to happen in a public school.
19:05
We don't get paid enough. And we, you know, whatever,
19:07
we're not going to do it. That's hard because not everyone
19:10
can afford to send their kids to a private school.
19:12
And I'm sure the private school teachers have the same
19:14
conversation. Be very much limitations, isn't
19:16
there Yeah. And I think I mean when I talk
19:18
about this kind of conversation as well, it makes me think that
19:20
actually one of the biggest things I love about home
19:23
education is that in a way it's like there's an element of
19:28
protest to it where we are actually saying, do you know
19:32
what I'm I'm not happy with the way the school system is being
19:35
run. I'm not school with the agenda.
19:37
I'm not I'm not keen on the curriculum.
19:39
I'm not keen on the learning styles.
19:40
I'm not keen on the way that it's being done.
19:42
And so actually I am going to do it differently and I'm going to
19:46
pull my children out of your schools.
19:47
And you're therefore not going to be able to give the funding
19:49
to those schools and you're whatever rate.
19:51
And I think that there's an element of protest to choosing
19:55
to home educate that if you have got children in school who are
19:57
not doing well and you take your children out, you are telling
20:00
the government in a very sure firm way that you are not
20:04
satisfied with what they are receiving.
20:08
And that actually not many things other than essentially
20:10
what is in a sense a kind of a strike, I guess helps people to
20:14
really realize. That actually people aren't
20:17
happy and obviously we as parents shout loudly about our
20:21
feelings all the time. And you see a lot of Bridget
20:23
Phillipson's posts on the Department of Education online.
20:26
It just, it makes me laugh so much every single time they post
20:30
it gets absolutely trolled by parents who are unhappy with the
20:33
school system. Trolled like mad.
20:36
They don't respond to anyone though, and they just carry on
20:38
with their propaganda as if nothing's happened.
20:40
I don't know why they don't just turn the comments off, honestly.
20:42
It's hilarious. It sounds funny, but it's
20:45
pointless for them. Like they just, I don't even
20:47
know why they're posting it because it's actually making it
20:49
worse. Like it's, it's so, so funny.
20:51
But I think that the more we stand up to this and the more we
20:55
say, no, we're not happy. Like get out of our lives.
20:58
Stop telling us what to do, stop telling our kids what to do.
21:00
If we don't want it. It's not helping them to thrive.
21:02
Like we're not interested. Then the more change they'll
21:05
have to because they won't be able to carry on as they are.
21:08
Well, and I think you're touching on another aspect that
21:12
could be a barrier to home education, a barrier for people
21:14
who aren't there yet. Is this right here?
21:17
Right. So this may be feeling like you
21:20
have to be a part of that movement, a part of that
21:25
protest. Feels like some people don't
21:28
want that, Like I don't. I've been there too.
21:32
I've been there too. And there are plenty of times
21:34
when I think until recently, where I've been like, listen,
21:38
I'm just, I'm just here to home school like I don't want.
21:42
So I'm, I'm telling anyone out there listening, you don't have
21:44
to. You can just home educate your
21:47
kids and you can let everyone else have their own
21:50
conversations. 100%. Like in Italy, I didn't feel any
21:56
of that. I literally was doing my own
21:58
thing. I was not making waves.
22:01
The teachers that evaluated my kids every year loved my kids.
22:05
I got nothing but amazing feedback about how awesome they
22:08
were. I always tell the story about
22:10
the first year when my daughter went, She was in first grade,
22:14
and they did her evaluation at the end of the year.
22:16
And the feedback was maybe she should learn how to write her
22:18
last name. And I said, oh, gosh, yes, it is
22:22
true. We don't do that because she's
22:24
the only one. Yeah.
22:25
She doesn't need too much. She doesn't need to.
22:27
Write her last name. I wrote out my daughter's full
22:30
name for her the other day and we call her a shortened version
22:33
of her first name and have done her since birth.
22:35
So it's like, I probably don't count on one hand how many times
22:38
you've actually used her actual you.
22:40
Didn't actually know she had a full, I thought that was her
22:42
full name. She actually has another name,
22:44
so this is how bad it is. And I wrote it out fully for her
22:48
just so she could see it and copy it and be like, that is
22:50
your actual name. And she was like, she literally
22:54
refused to write it. She wrote the shortened version
22:57
instead. And I'm just like, oh, no, I
22:59
read it like the name we're chose I loved so much.
23:01
And I was like, why? We never used it.
23:03
This is so sad. So it's she's just going to sit
23:05
there on her birth certificate and never be seen again.
23:08
It's so funny. I think it's little moments like
23:11
that. You do have those names.
23:12
You talked about that briefly last week.
23:13
Didn't we though that kind of like, oh, actually we haven't
23:16
covered that at all. Maybe maybe we should.
23:18
That's really important. Funny.
23:21
Yeah. No, I agree.
23:22
When I first started, I actually promised myself that I was not
23:26
going to become political. I wasn't going to get involved
23:30
with all that. I was going to stay neutral,
23:31
that I was just doing it for us and our little family, and I
23:35
just wanted to enjoy it. And I had never been interested
23:37
in politics. I've never been interested in
23:39
fighting for diplomacy or rights or anything at all.
23:42
And I know that's terrible, and people probably hate me for that
23:44
too, but I am. I've just never had them.
23:47
I've never really understood why it really mattered.
23:50
I've never really understood what the point is, because it
23:53
always felt really pointless to actually try and fight back
23:55
against things that the government were doing.
23:57
But actually, I think the confidence has built in me, and
24:01
I think that's actually a really amazing kind of side effect of
24:03
it over time is that it's built a lot of confidence in me to
24:06
stand up for what I believe in and what I think is important to
24:09
us and our family. And it's made me braver.
24:11
It's made me feel like I can actually affect change.
24:13
I can actually make a difference.
24:15
And I guess in part that's why we're here doing this podcast
24:17
too, because we know that it does make a difference to speak
24:19
about our experiences and to to demonstrate our feelings into
24:23
the wider world because then more people can think actually
24:26
to know what I feel like this too.
24:27
But I've been squishing and squashing it and putting it to
24:29
one side, just thinking that I'm just being like, because I think
24:32
that sensation of like, oh, I want to pull my kids out of
24:34
school. They're not happy, they're being
24:36
bullied or their teachers awful or they're actually don't seem
24:38
like they're progressing at all. And I'm really worried actually,
24:40
because I haven't seen them get better at their reading in like
24:43
a year, like a solid year. Like it's not getting any
24:45
better. They seem to hate it.
24:46
They never want to do it. And, and why do they hate it so
24:49
much? Like reading's fun, like books
24:51
are great. Like they're just like stories
24:52
in your head. Like I don't know why they hate
24:53
them so much or whatever you might be sat there worrying
24:56
about or thinking about. And actually those instincts,
24:59
those things that are screaming at you to do something
25:02
differently. And then the other part of you
25:04
is going, well, no, but this is normal.
25:06
Like they'll catch up or, but I've got to work or there's
25:10
other things in the way or I can't afford it or like it's
25:14
just going to teach them that they can just give up on stuff
25:16
if I pulled them out of school and do it differently or
25:18
whatever. Like all of these limiting
25:21
beliefs, they're called limiting beliefs.
25:22
They are things which are kind of they're not fact.
25:27
They are opinions that have been given to you or have you been
25:30
influenced to believe them. And it's starting to stop.
25:33
And, and it's the critical thinking that is so often tricky
25:37
to access when we've spent most of our lives kind of being told
25:40
what to do or to have people in authority give us the guidelines
25:43
and we then just operate within them.
25:45
That we kind of almost get taught to stop asking why so
25:48
much. And actually, when we really
25:49
look at the influences behind some of the things that were
25:52
roadblocks for me and the fears that I had, a lot of it was just
25:56
down to societal opinion and conditioning.
25:59
And because we just believe that that's just the way it's done or
26:03
that we felt like it was important.
26:05
Like we think it's important for children to be in a big group of
26:07
kids to be bullied, to be put under pressure, to have to do
26:11
these tests and exams, to build resilience and to help them to
26:13
be ready for the tougher outer world, to know how to defend
26:18
themselves, to be competitive, to like have be ambitious like
26:22
that. You kind of taught that school
26:24
is there to serve a purpose. Like people that there's a lot
26:28
of people out there who kind of say that it actually serves its
26:30
purpose really well, but we don't realize what the purpose
26:33
is. And so we really take a critical
26:35
hard look at it, that it's not failing at all.
26:38
It's doing exactly what it was supposed to do in the first
26:40
stage, which was to obviously produce this sort of mass
26:43
produced education. Workforce, yeah.
26:46
And actually what we kind of look at as home educators, and
26:49
then this is something I've said to people recently as well, that
26:51
we, we get called entitled a lot in our generation and below my,
26:55
my dad said it to me before that we're just entitled.
26:57
And I'm just like, no, I don't believe that I should just get a
27:00
hand out of the perfect custom 1 to one tuition for my children.
27:04
No, I don't believe that. I don't believe that a
27:07
government institution school is is really ever going to be able
27:11
to provide a fully customized 1 to one amazing education for
27:15
every single child. I don't think that's possible
27:16
because actually the funds that would be required to make that
27:20
happen are insane. And actually I just believe that
27:24
as someone who got, I have a choice and I have made my career
27:27
work and we've sorted. We sacrificed a lot.
27:30
We've had to tweak and change our finances A bazillion times
27:32
to adjust to be able to afford this as obviously the world
27:35
imploded about a year into our homeland journey.
27:37
The ultimately we have had to make a lot of changes and, and
27:41
tweak things to be allowed to do this.
27:43
And, and we are funding it like we pay for childcare, we pay for
27:47
all of their resources, we pay for all of their clubs and
27:49
groups. Like we pay all of our bills, we
27:51
pay our mortgage. We are making this happen.
27:54
And that is a big responsibility.
27:56
Like I, I did sit there thinking the day, like even the fact that
27:59
they would get free school lunches up until year three, I
28:02
think it is in this country, in which case you then have to
28:03
start paying for them. Like even that, like we are
28:05
still paying. And obviously they're going to
28:07
put these breakfast clubs in place.
28:08
The kids are even going to be able to go and get free
28:09
breakfast like we are. We are covering the foods
28:13
required for our children to be at home, which is also another
28:16
cost. There are barriers that here,
28:19
there are things which actually sit there and go, OK, but can we
28:22
actually afford to do this? Like we've got things covered
28:24
right now that we don't have to worry about.
28:27
And if we take it on as a responsibility, is this going to
28:30
cost a lot of money? And I think the argument is that
28:32
actually, whereas some some families, the way they're
28:37
spending is if you actually looked at your budget and you
28:39
looked at what you spent money on, you might find yourself
28:42
thinking, well, I paid for morning clubs, after school
28:44
clubs, various drop offs and swimming and football and all
28:47
the other clubs and stuff they do around it.
28:50
And then also sat with them doing an hour's worth of
28:52
homework, reading, supporting them with their mathletics
28:56
online, whatever it might be. So you're spending an hour with
28:58
them a day anyway doing homework, you're taking them to
29:01
football as well. You're making them some dinner,
29:03
you're doing all the coaching and supporting of all of the
29:07
struggles and worries or whatever they've had through
29:09
their day, getting them organized and ready for the next
29:11
day. You're packing lunches, you're
29:13
sorting out their school uniforms.
29:15
You're getting prepared for the next book day.
29:16
You're getting prepared for the next like trip, like residential
29:20
thing. They're doing right.
29:21
You're doing all those things OK.
29:22
You are currently already doing the same level of workload that
29:26
a home educator does, plus the school stuff.
29:29
OK, I just want to that's like, I just want to kind of emphasize
29:31
this, right? Because I was actually talking
29:33
to someone the other day. He was saying about how much
29:35
time a day they are spending doing reading, spellings,
29:38
mathematics, etcetera with their kids in the evenings and that
29:41
they do a club almost every night.
29:42
And just like, OK, so you were doing almost the same amount of
29:46
parental input into their education that I am as a home
29:51
educator. So I am able to cover.
29:53
And they are progressing very well.
29:55
So just to emphasize that as well, they're progressing very
29:57
well in their reading, writing, English, their science, their
30:00
maths, the core subjects and many, many others that they have
30:03
chosen themselves. Like they are progressing
30:05
beautifully in those subjects with roughly an hour of 1 to one
30:11
each with me per day, plus probably a club or group or a
30:15
play date or something we go and do as well or some downtime
30:18
Minecraft, whatever they want to do.
30:20
Those things are all contributing.
30:21
But they ultimately they get probably about one hour of
30:24
focused education for me most days of the week or their or
30:29
their dad and they are doing great.
30:31
So that kind of fear, I guess that roadblock that I had of
30:34
like this is going to take over my life.
30:36
I'm not going to have any time to work or to move my body or to
30:40
have friends or to see people or do things, whatever.
30:43
But that hasn't been the case for me at all because ultimately
30:47
the education bit doesn't actually take up that much time
30:50
in a day. Obviously the care of them does
30:54
and the playing with them and supporting them and they're
30:56
taking them hit her and tether and all the stuff.
30:57
It does all take time. But then like I get to see my
31:00
friends when we go to things, like I get to socialize at least
31:04
three or four times a week, seeing other parents who are all
31:06
really well aligned with what we do.
31:10
I'm sorry, I realized it's kind of jumping around a lot today,
31:11
like flitting from point to point a little bit.
31:13
But like this kind of concept of the roadblocks, I really think
31:17
it's important to recognize that there are things which feel like
31:19
a roadblock. They feel massive, but actually
31:23
they just kind of need reframing.
31:25
We need to look at them slightly differently because it's not the
31:28
case that it's necessarily going to suddenly be 6 hours a day if
31:31
you sat doing school with them at your dining room table.
31:35
Like that's not how it looks. And that another Rd. back that
31:39
people might encounter as they make this decision is the fact
31:43
of like, I have to sit and do all of this.
31:48
I don't want to sit at the table for six hours a day and I don't
31:51
want to commit to this for the rest of our education life.
31:56
Like, I don't know if that's what we want.
31:58
So I think that the thing to keep in mind and sort of how I
32:02
approached it is like, listen, we can always send the kids back
32:05
to school or to school in this case.
32:09
You can always change your mind. You don't have to have to make
32:12
that decision forever like it's not a 11 and done right you can
32:17
reassess every year. And I think people always
32:19
approach it that way too when they're asking like, oh, So what
32:21
are you going to do for high school?
32:22
Oh, are you going to home school forever?
32:24
Like it's so interesting. Are very interested in that
32:27
answer. Yeah.
32:28
And I always reply to them like, hey, this is what works for us
32:31
right now. And I am never going to say
32:34
never, right? Like, you just never know.
32:36
So for now, this is what we're doing it.
32:39
But yeah, if my kid was like, hey, I really want to go to
32:41
school and I want to go, and they really did want to go, I
32:45
would absolutely say OK, then you can go.
32:49
Yeah, and I think this is the thing.
32:50
There's so many different things that you feel like they've got
32:52
to be a cut and dry decision. Like this is so black and white
32:54
and it's not. It's an opportunity to try
32:57
something differently and to see how it works out for you.
33:01
And if you've got a child that's really troubled, that's not
33:03
doing very well in school, is really upset or really going
33:06
through a difficult time, that can be really scary.
33:08
The thought of changing the pace because actually you feel like
33:11
actually, if we stop or interrupt this, could we ever go
33:14
back? And maybe maybe not.
33:16
But the ultimate point is that the way it's working right now
33:19
is isn't working. And so this is another way to
33:23
attempt kind of supporting them and seeing if it actually works
33:26
out. And you might actually be really
33:28
pleasantly surprised once you get into the rhythm of it.
33:30
But we don't always know until we've actually experienced
33:32
something whether or not it's going to work for us.
33:34
And so you're not, you're never going to know unless you try.
33:37
And isn't that really kind of parenting?
33:39
So it feels like I'm trying to get people to eat their
33:41
vegetables just like you never, you never know until you give it
33:45
a go. And you might actually find that
33:46
you really love it. And actually, it's a whole
33:48
family ethos. It's a whole shift in terms of
33:51
how your days look. And that in itself can feel
33:55
really scary because like you can also feel like, Oh my God,
33:59
all this time, like, what would we do with our weeks?
34:01
Like, how would I still work? How would I still get all the
34:04
housework done, like, and all the rest of it.
34:05
And I think it's, it's again, it's just taking a pause to
34:08
reframe it and have a think about that really.
34:11
And just to think about it, just to spend some time thinking
34:13
about it and not to feel overwhelmed by all the decisions
34:15
as like they've got to have a decision about these things.
34:18
Feel into it too. You don't have to have all the
34:20
answers. Just start out, see how you go
34:23
and shift and adapt and change gradually.
34:28
And I think I was lucky that I started really without him
34:32
having ever been to school. So I literally was starting from
34:36
just, he was at nursery, he finished nursery three days a
34:38
week. He was officially home with me
34:40
full time. I was terrified.
34:42
I thought my goodness, like all seven days a week, how am I
34:46
going to manage? Like this is going to be really
34:47
intense. And the truth is that we started
34:50
to go to some home Med meet ups and started to meet some other
34:53
people, met some friends. We got a couple of things in the
34:57
diary every week that we just had as a nice rhythm.
34:59
So we just carried on like going to a few things in our weeks
35:03
very quickly, massively over packed our schedule, like pair
35:08
it all right back again and then do the same again and repeat.
35:11
And so we've now settled into a quite a good rhythm.
35:13
So a good few home days and a few out days, which is very
35:16
important to us and our needs. But ultimately, like I, I was
35:19
just starting from scratch. So I was able to kind of ease
35:22
into it knowing that we're at reception level, we can just
35:26
observe him, notice what he knows.
35:28
I downloaded the national curriculum for the reception
35:30
year just to kind of give me a bit of a base of something to
35:33
just have in the back of my mind.
35:36
We did probably try and keep to that to some degree through his
35:39
reception year and not not in like a really rigid form and
35:41
like linear form, but just try to just keep those goals in
35:44
mind. And that's gradually fallen away
35:46
as he's gotten older and I've, I've start to see his ability to
35:51
kind of developing all of the different areas are very
35:53
important. Like the core subjects that we
35:55
obviously do worry about in this country, sort of literacy and
35:58
maths, etcetera. Those are all progressing fine.
36:01
So it's kind of like, OK, and now we now we tend to focus more
36:04
on these really incredible, interesting projects that lead
36:06
us all down these lovely routes. But ultimately, initially we
36:10
were quite unschooling. We were genuinely allowing him
36:12
to do his own thing, play with his friends, climb trees, like
36:16
carry on just picking up learning when he wanted to, like
36:18
reading with him when he brought us a book and all the things.
36:22
And actually we have managed to maintain a reasonably positive
36:26
experience of learning. We've had our moments that we
36:28
definitely have had our issues. We've put too much pressure on
36:31
certain things or made things a bit boring or whatever.
36:35
And I've had so many fears over time, like when I'm, for
36:37
example, reading was a real panic for me.
36:40
He had a moment when I was seeing so much resistance.
36:43
He just didn't want to do it. He would have a massive stroke
36:46
every time I suggested it. We were trying to force it.
36:49
We weren't getting anywhere. And so I think I know that
36:51
people often will worry about this as well, actually being
36:53
able to get them to participate in the learning that maybe you
36:56
have got a child who's really not coping well at school.
36:58
They're not necessarily going to want to jump straight into any
37:00
kind of formal learning with you at home, but you're still going
37:03
to be really worried about the meeting these developmental
37:05
goals because this is going to feel really important to you.
37:08
Because that's what we've had drilled into us as essential for
37:11
certain age groups or whatever. And the truth is a lot of it
37:14
isn't essential for that age group.
37:15
Like reading, for example, fluent reading is actually
37:19
expected anywhere between I think it's 7:00 and 11:00
37:23
somewhere in that window you would expect that they would
37:25
typically. So that's the average like
37:28
between that window. And so it's a bit like when a
37:30
child starts walking, you don't always expect them to all
37:31
literally jump up at 18 months, get on those feet and start
37:34
walking. Like it's a gradual process.
37:36
Children up to what 2 1/2 like will be like two 2 1/2 will be
37:40
getting to the point of walking well and confidently.
37:42
So like it's, it really depends on their developmental stages
37:46
and how what they prioritize as well.
37:48
Like what their brains choose to prioritize next is its
37:51
developmental goals. So leaning into what they are
37:55
doing naturally and leaving some room for them to kind of reach
37:58
that point more gradually is a massive leap of faith.
38:01
And one that me and my husband had to sit and have a real
38:03
conversation about because I was sat in tears one evening.
38:06
Being like, we're ruining it. We're absolutely ruining reading
38:09
for him. He hates it.
38:11
He never wants to do it. Like we're making it a chore.
38:14
We need to back off. Like we need to trust.
38:16
Like everyone's telling me to just trust the process to let
38:19
him be and he will come to it when he's ready.
38:21
And we're talking a a freaking 5 year old child right now.
38:24
Like of course he's going to get it when he's ready.
38:26
But the panic was so real. Like the panic was right there
38:29
and was making me so stressed every day.
38:32
And ultimately we backed off entirely.
38:34
We stopped forcing it. We stopped making a big thing of
38:36
it. If he asked how something was
38:38
like, if he pointed to a word and said, does that say ketchup?
38:41
We'd say, yeah, it does. Or like he was doing all that
38:44
backs of trucks. Does that say Tesco's does that?
38:46
Whatever. Like he was working things out
38:48
on his own secretly. And I read, notice him like
38:51
whispering to himself, looking at letters and things.
38:53
And eventually we just kind of realised that he was doing it.
38:56
He was just wanting to do it without us interfering.
38:59
And I was, yeah, he's, he's what, 8 1/2 now?
39:03
Has been reading fairly fluently I'd say since he was about 6 1/2
39:06
seven. So actually he reached it
39:09
perfectly fine on track, no stress at all.
39:14
And that has been repeated in a number of different ways, like
39:17
his spelling recently. We don't do loads and loads and
39:19
loads of spelling practice. We do the odd fun spelling
39:21
related game. And he reads a lot.
39:24
And actually just recently he's like, his spellings just seem to
39:27
have clicked into place. It's really fascinating to
39:29
watch. But his brain is doing it all by
39:32
itself with just very gentle intervention from us.
39:36
And so it's really fascinating and fun to watch that way.
39:38
But that trust is really, really scary because we have been
39:41
taught that you need a qualified teacher for children to be able
39:45
to learn or they won't learn to read.
39:46
It's just not going to happen. And it's just not true.
39:49
And I guess it's trying to have faith in yourself.
39:52
And not a lot of people, I think, really had a lot of faith
39:55
in me in those early stages. And I definitely had some
39:58
negative feedback from others and concerns as well.
40:02
Like I think concern I've grown to accept as the same level of
40:06
concern I had when I was like, is this actually legal?
40:09
Like am I allowed to do this? The same several questions.
40:13
We all know them, like will they be socialized?
40:15
Can they do qualifications? All the rest of it, We know what
40:17
they're going to say. But that initially that earworms
40:20
you in it, that can become a huge roadblock is that fear
40:22
that's created by external fears, other people's worries
40:26
when they haven't done any research, they know nothing
40:28
about it. And someone said to me once, you
40:31
wouldn't ask advice from someone who sat on their couch watching
40:35
TV their entire life, how to climb Mount Everest.
40:38
You wouldn't speak to them. Like you wouldn't ask them for
40:41
their guidance. They would just go, oh, gosh,
40:42
no, that's scary. I wouldn't do that.
40:44
That's a stupid idea. You're just going to die falling
40:45
down a Canyon. Just going to die.
40:48
Yeah, like it's like you're just going to die.
40:49
Like don't do it. You're going to freeze to death.
40:51
You're going to fall down a Canyon.
40:52
It's stupid. Don't do it.
40:53
Much the same advice as I would give someone if they wanted to
40:56
do that, to be perfectly. Honest.
40:58
But as a home educator, we love chatting to people who are about
41:02
to start because we know that we also had all those same fears.
41:09
And the only way that we were able to feel confident that this
41:12
actually is a real thing that thousands of people do it.
41:16
But actually, it's like older kids are doing great and they're
41:19
developing goals beautifully. And they go on to these
41:22
incredible, really personalized, interesting careers is by
41:25
talking to people who have experience of home educated
41:28
kids. And the that's why obviously,
41:32
again, that this podcast exists and why we do what we do and to
41:35
talk to people about it all the time and why I'm always happy to
41:37
chat to people who are just starting out because honestly,
41:41
we are dealing with such a lot of skepticism.
41:45
And my family were concerned, my closest friends were concerned,
41:50
my husband was concerned, everyone was concerned.
41:53
And I had an absolute job on my hands.
41:56
I had an instinct. I had a gut instinct, I wanted
42:00
to do it. I'd done a bit of research, I'd
42:02
started talking to a few people. I felt like this is worth the
42:05
risk. I think it's a good idea.
42:07
But everybody else thought I was insane.
42:10
And truthfully, it was so awful those first few months, possibly
42:13
the first year or two when every conversation, it felt like I was
42:17
already on high alert. Even now to some degree when I'm
42:20
in a group of schoolies, so say in a nice as possible, it's not
42:23
a derogatory term. There's schooling people who
42:26
send their kids to school from in a group of people who send
42:28
their kids to school. I have got that pit in my
42:31
stomach like any second now they're going to ask me about
42:35
his school because that's what you do.
42:37
You don't ask kids about anything else really like you
42:40
ask them what school they go to, how are they liking school, what
42:42
year are you going into and all the rest of it your.
42:44
Favorite subject? Yeah, Who's your favorite?
42:46
Teacher like people don't know what to say to them.
42:47
Who's your? Favorite boss?
42:48
No. And, and I'll say what's your
42:51
favorite meeting? Who's your favorite manager?
42:53
Because it's a ridiculous question like why?
42:57
Why do we ask this of kids? Why don't we ask them, hey,
43:00
what's really interesting to you right now?
43:02
You know what's your favorite thing to do outside?
43:05
Yeah, and. What are you reading?
43:07
What do you like to be read? Like when your mom picks a book
43:11
for you? Like, I don't know.
43:12
I just feel like it's so, so silly.
43:15
And it's something we've been conditioned to do, right, Isn't
43:18
it? People asked us, so we asked
43:20
other people. It's like one of these learned
43:22
behaviors that it comes from. Like it's so, so frustrating.
43:28
So like if we're at the grocery store and someone asked my kid
43:31
that I'll be like, what's your favorite item to scan?
43:34
Like, because I'm sorry, are we not asking ridiculous questions?
43:38
Like I have no patience for this madness anymore.
43:40
Like I just cannot. I cannot unless it is someone
43:43
who works with my husband. I will not like stir the pot
43:46
there. But if you are a random stranger
43:49
asking my kid about school, I'm going to have something to say
43:52
about it. I had a quite a funny passive
43:55
aggressive conversation around this the other day when I had a
43:58
couple of years ago, a little old lady said to me, as we get
44:01
into the checkouts, are they are they sick?
44:05
Because see, this was just like just post COVID time.
44:07
So I can kind of get it. But like she was like, are they
44:09
sick? And I'm just like, no, what,
44:12
what getting just forgetting that it was like a Wednesday
44:15
afternoon and that obviously they would be in school.
44:17
And so I just completely didn't twig what she was getting at.
44:20
And she was like, you shouldn't, you shouldn't bring them to a
44:22
supermarket if they're off school sick.
44:24
And I'm just like, oh, no, no, no, no, they're home educated.
44:27
Don't worry. They're not sick.
44:28
They're fine. And she was genuinely concerned.
44:31
But the, but the, the person I was talking to would have been
44:33
like, Oh my goodness, that kind of like little cruel bit inside
44:36
of me would have just like gone. No, yeah, they're well, we've
44:39
got this horrible cough right now.
44:40
It's just like, we just can't just needed to get some food in.
44:43
Like she goes. They'll just be like, what's it
44:45
to you? Why is it your business?
44:46
But actually like fair enough with post COVID.
44:48
I understand the reason why, but like you do get the odd comment
44:51
and like she obviously then said, Oh, you home educate.
44:53
Oh, well, good for you. I wonder like and they start
44:56
asking you all these questions and and you do get into the
44:58
whole again. We've had this conversation a
44:59
lot of episodes before, but just that kind of like, oh, I don't
45:02
want to have this conversation again.
45:03
I literally feel like I'm defending this decision every
45:05
time I move, but it is almost like anything really.
45:08
A friend of mine recently was like, Oh, well, actually I'm but
45:12
I'm sober now. Like as you can see the fear she
45:14
had, like I just need to like get this out.
45:15
Like I'm at a party. I need to just say, yeah, well,
45:18
I'm actually, I'm in the program.
45:20
I've gone so bad I'm not drinking anymore.
45:23
And I was like, oh, fair enough. Like good for you.
45:25
And I was like, did you want to talk about it or did you just
45:27
need to just state that so that you can just feel like you've
45:30
got the elephant in the room out on the table?
45:32
You don't owe me anything. Like you don't need to explain
45:34
to me your life choices of what you're doing right now.
45:36
Good for you. Like I'm, I'm pleased for you if
45:39
that this is making me happier and you're feeling better for
45:41
it. But yeah, we don't have to get
45:42
into it. So the, the point is that I
45:44
guess these kind of fears and defensiveness that we build
45:48
around that early stage when we are being faced with
45:51
conversations with people who are choosing different routes
45:54
for their families, is to remember that those people who
45:58
choose those routes or are deciding to persevere with
46:01
something or whatever, or who do see that school is like super,
46:04
super important. They wouldn't ever take their
46:05
kids out and whatever. They, they don't actually
46:07
understand home education. Typically they don't actually
46:10
understand how involved the parents are, how much we care
46:13
about our kids outcomes and, and how much you're going to fight
46:17
for them. And I think sometimes they think
46:18
that you're trying to take an, an easy way out or you're giving
46:21
up or you're whatever, and it's going to be any further from the
46:23
truth. And I think that ultimately you
46:25
have to kind of take their fears from their uneducated position
46:29
on it with a pinch of salt that all they have got in their heads
46:32
is the societal conditions message of what home education
46:35
is. And it isn't that.
46:37
So if you can take a pause to try and remember that you are
46:41
coming at this decision from an instinctual place possibly or a
46:45
research place or an educated place or a space where you've
46:48
actually gone and spoken to some home educators.
46:50
You've listened to this podcast, you've read blogs, you've read
46:53
books. You are feeling as ready as you
46:56
can be to take the leap and to give it a try.
46:59
That the niggles and fears that you are having a lot of the time
47:03
are going to be the opinions of people who just do not
47:06
understand what home education or just alternative education
47:10
styles looks like. All they've got in their head is
47:13
school and what that trajectory looks like.
47:16
And they haven't got the headspace or the inclination or
47:19
the respect sometimes to actually bother to think about
47:22
another possible way of doing things.
47:25
And ultimately you are going to be faced with family, friends,
47:30
whatever earworming you. You're probably going to be
47:33
worried with the little niggling messages in the back of your
47:36
head about the fact that, oh, I'm never going to have any time
47:38
to myself. Or I'm never going to be able to
47:40
have a career, or I'm never going to be able to exercise or
47:42
when am I going to get time to clean the house.
47:44
And the truth is, the kids will help you to clean the house
47:46
because as a home educated child, they will be experiencing
47:51
what family life looks like. So they should hopefully pick up
47:54
on what needs to be done in the house and will actually be
47:56
involved with it instead of seeing it as a completely
47:58
separate entity of something they have to do when told.
48:02
Don't be wrong, this is still a challenge obviously.
48:06
Like cycle is. Yes, and education is still
48:09
going to be a challenge at times, like you are going to
48:10
bang your head against a brick wall sometimes.
48:12
You aren't always going to feel like you can inspire them.
48:15
Yes, careers do need to be slightly more flexible.
48:17
You might have to find a way to work around alternating when
48:20
you're with the kids with your with your husband or partner.
48:23
You might also need to work from home or to flex your business to
48:26
be kind of like side hustling. You might need to be part time.
48:29
You may need to give up work entirely depending on your
48:32
family situation. Like there are options for sure
48:35
for childcare, child minders, drop offs, etcetera.
48:38
But the point is that whatever roadblock you are coming up
48:41
against right now, and for sure some are going to be extremely
48:46
difficult to navigate and to work your way around, is to just
48:50
think really critically of why you believe that.
48:54
That is something that should stop you from home educating.
48:57
Who is it that's actually influencing you to believe that?
49:00
And are those influences people who know better than you?
49:05
Are they people who know your kid better?
49:06
Are they people who know your life better?
49:09
Are they actually even people who know educating education or
49:12
psychology or child development better?
49:14
And trust me when I say that most government agencies and the
49:19
school system as it stands right now, I'm not necessarily going
49:21
to be the most learned when it comes to child psychology or
49:25
development. So like just to really emphasize
49:28
that we think they should be, and they probably should.
49:30
Let's be honest, they should, but they.
49:33
Should have that, yeah. So you are allowed to be the
49:37
king or queen of your own life and decide what makes sense for
49:42
you and your family. You can do your own learning,
49:45
you can do your own research and reassurance, and you can make
49:48
your own decisions. And that sounds so scary
49:50
sometimes. But ultimately, whatever reason
49:54
you are deciding to home educate right now and whatever
49:57
roadblocks are sitting in front of you making you question that,
50:00
chances are with a little bit of flexibility, adaptation,
50:04
research, support, you can actually work your way around a
50:07
lot of those. And that some of them aren't
50:09
even real anyway and aren't actually ones that you need to
50:12
be worried about, which you'll only figure out once you've done
50:14
it for a year or two and you realize that it's not a thing
50:16
like some of these things. They're just going to sit there
50:18
as a big scary elephant in the room until one day it's just
50:22
gone and you don't even know where it went.
50:24
So if we haven't touched on something which is a roadblock
50:28
for you right now and you are sitting there going, we haven't
50:31
mentioned this. And actually is that something I
50:33
do? If you worried about, then just
50:34
know that us and our ramblings is not always a fully
50:38
comprehensive thought process. We both often will sit here
50:43
after a session being, oh, I didn't mention this or we could
50:45
have talked about that as well or whatever.
50:47
So if we have missed something that you are worried about,
50:50
please do remember that I am a qualified mindset coach.
50:53
I work with families who are going through this transition
50:55
process. Ioffer very affordable options
50:58
as well that if you needed to just have someone in your pocket
51:01
who can speak to you a little bit about this, then please do
51:03
reach out. It is an option there for you
51:05
always. And yeah, hopefully though, one
51:09
of our other episodes will cover it if this episode hasn't.
51:11
So let us know, drop me a message and say, but I'm scared
51:15
about this and I can hopefully pinpoint you one that you should
51:18
go listen to. That might help.
51:19
So anyway, hopefully that's been helpful.
51:21
Any final thoughts Ashley or are you good too?
51:25
You know, I had something and I've forgotten about it, so if I
51:27
think of it all, I'll add it to our Instagram.
51:29
OK guys. Well, have a lovely week and
51:32
obviously we'll see you again next Sunday.
51:34
Take care. Take.
51:35
Care you've been listening to the Big Home Ed Conversations
51:47
podcast. Thanks for tuning in.
51:50
Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share with a
51:53
friend. Follow us on Instagram and
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TikTok at Big Home Ed Podcast for updates.
52:00
We'll be back again next week for another episode, but don't
52:03
forget to check out the special summer episodes.
52:06
Get your head straight to Home Ed, See you soon.