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Brain Overload: Why ADHD Moms Need a 'Not Now' List to Survive | 008 · Quick Wins for ADHD Moms - Short Episodes, Real Solutions for Burnout and Overwhelm

• 0:00
  Jessica Lewis: Welcome to Quick Wins for ADHD Moms podcast.
• 0:04
  Jessica Lewis: Today's quick win is a game changer.
• 0:07
  Jessica Lewis: It's called The Not Now List.
• 0:10
  Jessica Lewis: This isn't your kids coming up to you and you say, Hey, not now.
• 0:14
  Jessica Lewis: Okay?
• 0:14
  Jessica Lewis: We're not talking about their lists, we're talking about the lists that eat up all of the time in your brain.
• 0:19
  Jessica Lewis: You know what I'm talking about?
• 0:21
  Jessica Lewis: All the things.
• 0:22
  Jessica Lewis: Oh, I should be doing this, I should be doing that.
• 0:25
  Jessica Lewis: Well, we're gonna put all of that or most of it on the Not Now list.
• 0:29
  Jessica Lewis: Let's dive in.
• 0:30
  Jessica Lewis: So, you know, that moment when your brain starts rapid firing, self-improvement ideas like, oh, I, I should start journaling again.
• 0:39
  Jessica Lewis: Or, oh, I haven't taken my vitamins in days, maybe months.
• 0:43
  Jessica Lewis: I really need to book that doctor's appointment.
• 0:45
  Jessica Lewis: I should drink more water.
• 0:47
  Jessica Lewis: Oh, maybe I should try yoga again or maybe go for a run.
• 0:50
  Jessica Lewis: Uh, maybe I would be better off if I delete Instagram.
• 0:54
  Jessica Lewis: Insert whatever you think that you need to be doing here.
• 0:57
  Jessica Lewis: So now you're overwhelmed by all of the things that are supposed to help you feel better, and that's the problem.
• 1:04
  Jessica Lewis: When everything feels urgent, nothing actually gets done, especially if you're parenting.
• 1:09
  Jessica Lewis: Struggling work, working from home, adhd, and that's the problem.
• 1:15
  Jessica Lewis: When everything feels urgent and we know, we know this feeling, everything feels urgent, nothing actually gets done, especially when you're parenting and also working from home.
• 1:27
  Jessica Lewis: Maybe your spouse is working from home too.
• 1:30
  Jessica Lewis: It's a lot to juggle, but here's where the not now list comes in.
• 1:34
  Jessica Lewis: Instead of letting your brain run wild, which can be fun sometimes, but not when it's overwhelmed wild.
• 1:40
  Jessica Lewis: Just pause, breathe, and do this.
• 1:43
  Jessica Lewis: Grab your phone, grab a note.
• 1:45
  Jessica Lewis: Just pick up any sticky note piece of paper and just write out, not now, then dump it all out.
• 1:52
  Jessica Lewis: Every should.
• 1:53
  Jessica Lewis: That's floating in your brain.
• 1:55
  Jessica Lewis: Every self-care goal, every habit you wanna try, maybe a podcast someone recommended, maybe a smoothie recipe that you want to try out all of that stuff.
• 2:05
  Jessica Lewis: Just put it on the not now list.
• 2:08
  Jessica Lewis: Let it live somewhere and give yourself permission to not do it right now.
• 2:14
  Jessica Lewis: One of my favorite brain dumping stations is notion.
• 2:18
  Jessica Lewis: It's basically my second brain because I know that my ADHD brain, I need outside structure because everything inside I'm not gonna remember and it's gonna be all jumbled.
• 2:28
  Jessica Lewis: So I use notion to keep my, keep myself in order.
• 2:32
  Jessica Lewis: And I have different lists too.
• 2:34
  Jessica Lewis: Like I know there's work task lists and there there's home task lists, but sometimes I'm not sure which one it is and I just need to get outta my brain.
• 2:43
  Jessica Lewis: So I just create a new note and I just dump everything in the new note and it saves it, and I can actually research that or look that up later if I need to come back to it later.
• 2:52
  Jessica Lewis: I find that a lot of times I don't even need to come back to it.
• 2:55
  Jessica Lewis: I just need to get it out of my brain and then I can move on.
• 2:59
  Jessica Lewis: I know that it's safe.
• 3:00
  Jessica Lewis: Like I know that I can look it up later and then I can forget about it and then I won't feel bad that I might forget about it.
• 3:07
  Jessica Lewis: It's all there, but I also know I don't have to act on it right now.
• 3:11
  Jessica Lewis: And it's interesting looking back at the lists that you make and you think, why was that so important?
• 3:17
  Jessica Lewis: Why did that take up so much brain space?
• 3:20
  Jessica Lewis: Why did I feel that was urgent?
• 3:21
  Jessica Lewis: I'm so glad I didn't act on that because it was a distraction.
• 3:25
  Jessica Lewis: But having a place to dump everything out and get it out of your brain gives you a sense of control without the pressure of having to do everything.
• 3:34
  Jessica Lewis: It's like honoring your ideas, like telling yourself, wow, you're creative.
• 3:38
  Jessica Lewis: You have such great ideas, but we don't have to do that right now.
• 3:42
  Jessica Lewis: The not now list.
• 3:43
  Jessica Lewis: It's not about ignoring your needs, it's just about creating a safe space to park your thoughts so that they don't hijack your current moment.
• 3:53
  Jessica Lewis: Because here's the deal, ADHD brains are fantastic at idea generation and energy bursts, and we want to do all of those things now and all at once, but the follow through.
• 4:06
  Jessica Lewis: That comes from calm and clarity, and we don't get calm and clarity when our brains are ping ponging with 27 things we haven't done yet.
• 4:14
  Jessica Lewis: Not to mention the thousands of things that our kids want us to do right now.
• 4:18
  Jessica Lewis: The Hey mom.
• 4:19
  Jessica Lewis: Hey mom.
• 4:19
  Jessica Lewis: Watch this.
• 4:20
  Jessica Lewis: Watch this.
• 4:21
  Jessica Lewis: Look at me.
• 4:22
  Jessica Lewis: It's so hard when there's a thousand things going in my brain and I'm like, what?
• 4:26
  Jessica Lewis: Watch what?
• 4:26
  Jessica Lewis: Huh?
• 4:27
  Jessica Lewis: We just want a moment of calm and clarity, right?
• 4:30
  Jessica Lewis: So then what do you do after you make the list?
• 4:33
  Jessica Lewis: One thing you can do is do nothing.
• 4:35
  Jessica Lewis: Just get it all out and leave it there.
• 4:37
  Jessica Lewis: Another thing you could do is just scan through it, see if there's anything on there that you know you absolutely need to get done, and make sure it's tiny.
• 4:45
  Jessica Lewis: Don't pick something big.
• 4:47
  Jessica Lewis: You don't wanna overwhelm yourself again, just look at it and see if there's just a tiny thing that maybe just calling the doctor and scheduling that appointment.
• 4:54
  Jessica Lewis: Maybe you have to do that and you can just get that done.
• 4:57
  Jessica Lewis: But get everything else in your brain out of your brain so you can think about the most important things you need to get done.
• 5:04
  Jessica Lewis: And somehow we tell ourselves, yeah, but that's not enough.
• 5:07
  Jessica Lewis: I have a huge list.
• 5:08
  Jessica Lewis: And doing one small little thing doesn't feel like enough, but it is.
• 5:14
  Jessica Lewis: Brushing your teeth.
• 5:14
  Jessica Lewis: Do you ever, this sounds dumb, but do you ever struggle with just brushing your teeth?
• 5:19
  Jessica Lewis: Like I'll get started on my day and I forget, and I have a morning routine, but I literally forget my morning routine every morning.
• 5:27
  Jessica Lewis: So in notion, I go on and I'm like, here's the things you need to do today.
• 5:31
  Jessica Lewis: You're gonna start out with devotions, you're gonna start out with double checking to make sure you don't have any live sessions that you need to be doing today, or meetings that you can't miss.
• 5:42
  Jessica Lewis: Make sure your kids don't have appointments that's going on.
• 5:45
  Jessica Lewis: It's in my calendar, but it's also a notion to remind me, oh yeah, check the calendar.
• 5:50
  Jessica Lewis: I have to remind myself to check the calendar and brush my teeth.
• 5:53
  Jessica Lewis: I know it sounds ridiculous, but once I recognize I need outside structure to keep me organized, then I can go back and look because my memory is.
• 6:01
  Jessica Lewis: Is off the charts bad, but it's okay because I'm writing things down and I have a system.
• 6:08
  Jessica Lewis: And maybe that's what you need to, maybe you just have everything in your head because all of your friends don't struggle with that.
• 6:15
  Jessica Lewis: All of your friends just remember things.
• 6:18
  Jessica Lewis: Well, you're not them.
• 6:19
  Jessica Lewis: You are you.
• 6:21
  Jessica Lewis: If you struggle with ADHD and have an ADHD brain, it just functions differently than everybody else.
• 6:27
  Jessica Lewis: So you've heard this many times before, but you can't compare yourself to someone else.
• 6:32
  Jessica Lewis: This can be the moment where you recognize that, okay, my brain doesn't work like everybody else, and that's okay.
• 6:37
  Jessica Lewis: And here's what I need.
• 6:39
  Jessica Lewis: I need outside structure.
• 6:41
  Jessica Lewis: What does that look like?
• 6:42
  Jessica Lewis: And maybe you spend your time trying to figure out how to put that structure together, how to send yourself reminders throughout the day.
• 6:49
  Jessica Lewis: Whether that's on your watch or maybe your phone reminders, there's so many ways that you can set up outside structure these days.
• 6:56
  Jessica Lewis: It's just whatever is going to work for you.
• 6:59
  Jessica Lewis: And then whatever small task that you end up doing, whether it's just brushing your teeth, that's enough.
• 7:05
  Jessica Lewis: Tell yourself that's enough.
• 7:07
  Jessica Lewis: You don't have to do the 10 million things that are on your task list right now.
• 7:10
  Jessica Lewis: Just do one small thing and remind yourself that's enough.
• 7:15
  Jessica Lewis: One of the things on my morning routine, and it's really simple and I do have to look at my routine list to remember things.
• 7:22
  Jessica Lewis: Something that has become a habit, and I don't, don't have to look at it, is just making my bed.
• 7:27
  Jessica Lewis: I know it's one tiny action, but if I start with that, it really sets the tone for the day.
• 7:32
  Jessica Lewis: And what's great about that one is I am always walking into the bedroom and I see it.
• 7:37
  Jessica Lewis: I'm like, oh, it's a visual reminder.
• 7:39
  Jessica Lewis: Oh, you need to make the bed.
• 7:41
  Jessica Lewis: Another visual reminder that I love after I make my bed, it's all clean and then I'll dump the laundry onto the bed.
• 7:46
  Jessica Lewis: So it's a visual reminder that, oh, you need to do laundry today.
• 7:50
  Jessica Lewis: And it sounds ridiculous, but these visual reminders is how I go about my day.
• 7:55
  Jessica Lewis: I know not everybody struggles with that, but I need visual reminders and that's what works.
• 8:01
  Jessica Lewis: Sometimes I don't even have the energy to do all of the laundry, so I'll just go in and grab a couple pieces that are on top and I'll just fold a couple pieces of laundry.
• 8:11
  Jessica Lewis: Sometimes I'll just leave it there.
• 8:12
  Jessica Lewis: Other times, just that one little action of grabbing a shirt and folding a shirt gives me enough momentum that I end up just doing the entire load of laundry.
• 8:22
  Jessica Lewis: 'cause then I get hyper-focused on folding all of the laundry.
• 8:26
  Jessica Lewis: So dump everything out onto a piece of paper.
• 8:29
  Jessica Lewis: On in, in notion, maybe email yourself, your task list, whatever's gonna work for you.
• 8:35
  Jessica Lewis: Get it out of your brain because our ADHD brains are seeking dopamine.
• 8:41
  Jessica Lewis: And in the moment we want to do all of the things that seem really exciting, but then our executive function part of our brain taps out, and then we become paralyzed.
• 8:51
  Jessica Lewis: We start scrolling.
• 8:54
  Jessica Lewis: And the Not Now list just meets you where you are.
• 8:57
  Jessica Lewis: It lets you capture that excitement in all the ideas without letting them own you.
• 9:02
  Jessica Lewis: It's a boundary.
• 9:03
  Jessica Lewis: It says, Hey, I hear you.
• 9:05
  Jessica Lewis: You have great ideas, but let's not lose'em.
• 9:08
  Jessica Lewis: So we're gonna pick one and that's gonna be enough for now.
• 9:11
  Jessica Lewis: And I know with growing task lists, it feels like, especially as a mom, especially as an ADHD mom, it's easy to feel like you're falling behind all of the time.
• 9:23
  Jessica Lewis: Like everyone else has their morning routine and color coded calendar and gym membership they actually use and a pantry full of glass jars and beautiful organized life.
• 9:35
  Jessica Lewis: But let me say this clearly to you right now.
• 9:37
  Jessica Lewis: You are not behind.
• 9:39
  Jessica Lewis: You're figuring out how to build a life that works for you and you're on this journey.
• 9:44
  Jessica Lewis: It's a real time journey with real life obstacles and your brain just works differently.
• 9:50
  Jessica Lewis: The Not Now list helps honor that journey.
• 9:53
  Jessica Lewis: It says, yep, I care.
• 9:55
  Jessica Lewis: I have goals.
• 9:56
  Jessica Lewis: I wrote them all down, but I'm not chasing them from a place of pressure anymore.
• 10:01
  Jessica Lewis: And that's huge.
• 10:02
  Jessica Lewis: So the next time you feel overwhelmed with too many ideas, too many tasks to do, too many good intentions, just write them down and then ask, what's the one tiny thing I can do right now that would just feel good or supportive?
• 10:15
  Jessica Lewis: And let that be enough.
• 10:17
  Jessica Lewis: You can always come back to the list.
• 10:19
  Jessica Lewis: So thanks for listening and hanging out with me today.
• 10:22
  Jessica Lewis: I know that you're crazy busy.
• 10:24
  Jessica Lewis: I don't know that that will ever change, but your mindset about it can change.
• 10:29
  Jessica Lewis: So thanks for hanging out with me today.
• 10:31
  Jessica Lewis: I hope you found this really helpful and encouraging.
• 10:33
  Jessica Lewis: And if you did, just share it with a friend who also needs to hear this.
• 10:37
  Jessica Lewis: Be kind to yourself'cause you're doing better than you think.