Latest / Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud / S2 Ep10: The Longevity Laugh/ Why Women Outlive Men 🤣

Transcript

S2 Ep10: The Longevity Laugh/ Why Women Outlive Men 🤣 · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: I'll tell you this though, that's when you realize that your wife is your best friend.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: I have best friends, they won't have a baby with me.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_02: We made a human together.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: And she did that for us.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_02: And that's how you know that your wife is your best friend.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I looked at that little boy and I thought to myself, one of these days he's gonna leave.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna be stuck with her again.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: Forever.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: Till death.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: Not till death.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we die first.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: We do.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: Men die first, ladies.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: It's not the notebook.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: We don't hug and die.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: In real life, we die first.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: And then, ladies, years later, you die.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's true.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody in here has a grandma.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: At some point, grandpa goes, fuck it.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: I'd like to be in heaven by myself for a little while.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_02: You know all the grandpas are in heaven having a good time, and all of a sudden, pfft, oh, I gotta go.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_02: I tell you not to eat the sound vinegar potato chip.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Brenda showed up.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_02: I love what I do, man, and I love that you guys come out.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: I love that you call your wife's Captain Evil like I call mine.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: I love to watch you laugh, man.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_02: That makes me happy, you know.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: You guys like to watch me, I like to watch you.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: I like, yeah, I do.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: I like when you laugh, you hit your wife, you know.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: And your wife looks at you and you laugh too hard.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: My favorite thing though is sometimes uh after my show, these girls in their 20s, and they've never been in a real relationship, you know, but they'll come up to me and they go, You're my favorite comedian, because your jokes are so funny.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, jokes?
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: This is a documentary.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: So here's to all you women in your 20s who are single, listen to me, because I want you to be happy faster.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: Lower your expectations.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_02: You're not a princess, your father lied to you.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna marry somebody rich.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: Probably not.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: But if you really want to be rich, rich in the things that matter, find a real man, a family man, a man that wakes up every day and goes to work.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_02: You will be happy and you'll be rich.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: And I know your young girls are like, oh my god, I want that.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_02: But can he also have abs?
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_02: Men that work hard don't have abs.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_02: We have one ab.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: There's only one.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I know all you young girls are like, uh I'm never gonna sleep with a man that looks like that.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, you will.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe not tonight.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_02: But eventually there's gonna be a fat, hairy, sweaty, baldy man on top of you.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: He's gonna have sex with you for a good three minutes strong.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's like where we live right now.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, behind our house is about a 40-50 acre plot of woods, and beyond that's another neighborhood, but but I don't know those folks.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Probably for their benefit.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: But my next door neighbor on the other side, Luke, he puts a game camera out in the woods behind our house and he takes pictures of the deer and elk and bear that walk by and then he posts it on his Facebook page.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, one night I got an idea.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: I thought it'd be funny if I got a Bigfoot outfit.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, that's genius.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'd get that Bigfoot outfit and walk in front of his game camera leg.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Just to be there when he's going through his pictures, he goes, Yeah, that's an elk, that's a bear, there's Bigfoot.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: There's oh my God.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: Well, what we've learned here tonight is that when I get an idea, I don't really think it through.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: I just kind of roll with it.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I went into town, went to the costume shop, but they did not have a Bigfoot outfit.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: But they did have a movie quality Batman outfit.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember thinking that is a gift from God right there.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: How much funnier would that be?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: He's flipping through his pictures and there's a Batman?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Hell yes.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: And this thing was awesome.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: It had the cape, the mask, the little eyepieces, the shorts, the tool belt, the tights, the boots, everything.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: The gloves.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so I wanted to do it at night.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: So the picture was kind of grainy, so he couldn't really see it was me.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: Last June, I'm sitting in my den at six o'clock in the evening, dressed as Batman.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: And Gail walked by.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I could tell by the look on her face, she did not comprehend what was about to go down.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: And she said, Are you gonna tell me?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Yes, ma'am, I am.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: I said, You know how Luke puts that game camera in the woods behind now?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, Yeah.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: I go, I thought it'd be funny.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: If I got a Bigfoot outfit, and she goes, Bill, no.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I go, I went to town, they did not have a Bigfoot outfit.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, Thank God.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: I said, but they had this bitch and Batman outfit.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember thinking, how much funnier would that be?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: He's flipping to his pictures and there's a Batman.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's gonna be funny.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, Bill, no.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: I go, listen, I know funny.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's my job.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: On a funny scale, one to ten, thirty.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, I can't talk you out of this, can I?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: I go, nope.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, okay.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, but wait a minute.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's only six.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: It don't get dark for a couple hours.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: Why are you dressed like Batman now?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: I said, good question.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I think this is a good opportunity for us to be honest.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Who has not wanted to have sex with Batman?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: And she goes, okay, not only no, but hell no.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: I said, why not?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: And she goes, I'll be happy to tell you why not.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: She said, let's say we do this.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I kind of get into it.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: But she goes, where does it stop?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I don't follow you.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, Yes, you do.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: Because if I say yes to this, you'll be out there buying Green Lantern outfits, you'll be buying Spider-Man outfits.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: You're going to want me dressed like Catwoman.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: And the whole time I'm sitting there thinking, I ain't really heard a reason not to yet.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that didn't happen.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it gets dark and I book it out in the woods.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I get out in the middle of these pitch black woods, and the thought occurs to me, I don't really know where Luke's game camera is.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: So now I'm just a grown man dressed like Batman in the woods in the middle of the night.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: This is a news story waiting to happen.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know when you get out in the woods and it's dark and you start hearing things and your mind starts playing tricks on you?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: I start flipping out.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh my God, Bill, this is bad.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: Bad, bad, bad.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: What if you get killed by a mountain lion?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: What if a pack of wolves tears you'd have?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: How are they gonna tell your kids?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, kids.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, children, I don't mean to laugh.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: This is sad.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um I'm just gonna say it.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: We found your dad dead in the woods.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: We've ruled out suicide.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we don't think it was a hunting accident.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: But here's the weird part.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: He was dressed like Batman.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I can hear both my kids going, no, that ain't weird.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: Did he tell you about the silk blue panties he had to wear?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank goodness, in the middle of all this panic, I remember when I was in the Boy Scouts, they taught us if you're ever lost in the woods, to just stop.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: Pick a point, walk in a straight line.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: You'll hit a fence or a road or something.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: Don't wander.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's when people get really lost.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I stopped, I picked a point, and I started walking.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: And by golly, the Boy Scouts was right.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: I popped out of those woods.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: But now I'm in a neighborhood I've never seen before.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: And every house is dark but one.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: I walk up to this fella's back door.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: He opens the door.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Look, man, I'm not crazy.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not a psycho.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, No, no.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: You're just a grown man dressed like Batman in my back door in the middle of the night.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Look, buddy, my neighbor puts a game camera out in those woods, and I thought it'd be funny if I got a Bigfoot outfit and walked in front of that camera.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: But I went to town, they didn't have that Bigfoot outfit, but they had this bitch and Batman outfit.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember thinking, how funny would that be?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's way funnier.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, and then I I got out in the woods and I realized I didn't know where his game camera was, and I started freaking out because I thought I was gonna get killed by a mountain lion or a pack of wolves, and how are they gonna tell my kids my wife?
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: And speaking of my wife, sir, if she just had sex with me as Batman, none of this would have happened.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'd be sound asleep in our bed right now, but apparently she's got some kind of hang-up about making love to a superhero.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then I remember the Boy Scout said, Walk in a straight line, and I did, and boom, I'm at your back door.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: And he goes, Makes sense.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: He said, What do you need from me?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Could I just use your phone to call my wife?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, if you're brave enough.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: Ladies, I am prepared to trade you.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'll let you keep all your quotes.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: You understand what I'm saying?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Keep all of them.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Every single last one.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: All the pictures of cats, whatever you need to get through the day, whatever.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: But I'll trade you one quote.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: So you you understand the deal?
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: You get to keep all of them, but this one.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it's my least favorite.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: You've all heard it, seen it, goes a little something like this.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Goes like this.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you can't accept me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because we need more information.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: How often are you at your worst?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: I guess it's one.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: What are we talking?
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you're at your worst 29 days out of the month, you can keep your little funky one day.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Also, how bad is this worst?
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are we talking?
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: You can be great for 30 days in a row, but on the 31st day, if you burn my car, you know what I'm saying?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: And this doesn't work anyplace else.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Why do you do it here?
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't work anyplace else.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: We were in school, you didn't go to your professor, your teacher, and be like, if you can't accept my F, you don't deserve to see me study and get an A.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: And ladies, worst has an S T at the end.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: You understand what I'm saying to you?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Worst.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: That means there's nothing beyond it.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: So don't play with words.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Worst.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: My worst is off the table.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's not an option.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm from Brooklyn.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: My my worst, I'm in jail.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: You understand what I'm saying?
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like worst.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing is, we have professions where you can't even be bad.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: Forget being your worst.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like you don't want to get on an airplane and the pilot comes over to PA.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Ladies and gentlemen.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: If you can't accept me crashing this plane.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: You don't deserve to see me land this plane.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: You would get off that plane, right?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like his attitude.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Flight Lieutenant, please.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like his attitude.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna get I don't like his attitude.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Can I get off?
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's crazy.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: And here's my problem.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: I have a few things.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Here's my problem with that quote.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Think about people you know who've posted that.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Think about the people.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know them personally.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: My problem is with with is this.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Their best is really just everyone else's normal.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's like having a it's like having a friend who's always late, then he's on time once, and he's like, so what the fuck Facebook is on time.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want from us?
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I get I get what the heart of that is, I get what that quote is getting at.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: Unconditional love, right?
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's all about unconditional love.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: But stop it.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: There's no unconditional love.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is conditional.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: See how quiet it got?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: There's no unconditional love.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Cut it out.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, life's a picnic, okay?
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be the ass who brings napkins.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: You understand what I'm saying?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Bring some potato salad, is what I'm saying.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: We don't need forks.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Come on now, bring something to the table.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: I want us to be nice to each other.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: That'd be great.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: We could be nicer.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: So pay attention and be nice.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: That may be, those two things may not be able to happen at the same time.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: But and I I think I think when it's guys, when guys deal with guys, it's okay.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Somehow we because no one, we don't want it to get crazy.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: We understand where it could go.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: And when ladies deal with ladies, you you you you find a way to.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how it works, but there's it happens, you know.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: But when when it's women dealing with men, sometimes it gets tough.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I want you to understand something.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about relationships here.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's different.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's love, that that's off the table.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just talking about perfect strangers.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like it gets crazy.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: It that like I went to this office building.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: I went to this office building.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Not too long ago.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: True story, okay?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: See a friend of mine who works there.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: Now look at me.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: You see what's going on.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: You see what look at me, you see me.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a friendly Negro.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm a I'm wearing the card again.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like civic, like, come on.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know me, you know who I'm, you know what I'm about.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I say ask with a K.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you understand.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: You understand who I'm so I go into this office building to see my friend who works there, who told me to come.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: My friend isn't there.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: I say, I go, okay, thank you.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Can you just tell her Dwayne stop by?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm leaving.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: That was it.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: Five seconds, tops, the whole thing.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Some lady who works there didn't even know me.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: She goes, Yeah, yeah, bye, yeah, go, yeah, leave, bye, go.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, whoa, like I couldn't do anything about it.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: She's a lady.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm by myself.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: She's a female, you know.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like I had a female cousin with me.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't be like, Tasha, handle this.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was by myself.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you another story so you understand where I'm going with this.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm at a red light.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in my car, I'm at a red light.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Just waiting, okay?
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Big ass sign right here, and on the floor, on the ground, it says, I can go my left, I can go left, or I can go straight.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, this is what's happening.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Next to me, this lane, there's a lady, it's a woman, and she's waiting.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a big ass arrow here and on the ground that says she has to go left.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Let's review, all right?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh over here, left only.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Over here, the world is my oyster, right?
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: I can do whatever I want.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: The world is my oyster.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: The light turns green.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: I decide to take my left option.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: She goes straight.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: So we almost hit each other within inches.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: We're like this close.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, lady, what are you doing, right?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: True story.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: 100% true story.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: She rolls down the window, looks me right in the face, and she goes, use your fing head.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, uh.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now why am I telling you this story?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: The point of that story is this.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: If that was a guy in that car, if that was a man in that car, I wouldn't even be here right now.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: You understand?
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't be here.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: You'd be like, what happened to me?
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you didn't you didn't hear what happened?
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: He he killed this guy at an intersection.