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Andy Stanley - Leading Effectively in Times of Disruption · Andy Stanley Sermons

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Hey, everybody. Andy Stanley here and I'm so grateful to have been included
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once again as part of the Leader cast lineup. Now, as you've already
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heard, this year's theme was chosen months before anybody knew about this year's disruption,
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which means, of course that this year's theme is well, it's more
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relevant and it's more important than ever. But what's going on in our world
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right now actually highlights what I call the dirty little secret about leadership. It's
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a secret that actually looms large during times of disruption. And the secret is
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this, right, we don't always know what to do. Got that we
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don't always know what to do. We don't always have all the answers,
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and this is big and we are making this up as we go along.
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So feel better now, I hope. So actually having the discipline and the
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humility to admit those three things makes you an even better, better leader.
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It makes you a leader worth following. Besides, you know this uncertainty.
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Uncertainty has always been part of the leadership equation. In fact, it's a
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permanent part of the leadership equation. Truth is, uncertainty and disruption are why
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the world needs leaders. It's why the folks in your company, your department,
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your division, or perhaps even your neighborhood. Need you why, Well,
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we've talked about this before, because the unique role of the leader is
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to take people on journeys to places they have never been before. And we
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have certainly never been here before, have we? And when I say we,
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I mean you and me. I mean that's what makes this season so
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challenging. But it's also what makes this season so well. In some ways,
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it makes it kind of exciting. I mean, it's filled with opportunity.
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We're all learning new things, we're all trying new things, and we
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have all become zoom ninjas, haven't we. I'm confident that we're all going
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to be better when this is over. That's my goal anyway. But in
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the meantime, it is challenging, to be sure, and to be honest,
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I'll tell you this, My heart really goes out to those of you
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who were forced to homeschool your kids to the end of the semester. I
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mean, homeschooling is not for the faint of heart. Sandra and I actually
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chose to homeschool for ten years, and it was not a casual endeavor.
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Even though we chose to do it. The thought of having that forced on
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us in the middle of a semester can't imagine. Ben couldn't imagine it either.
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In fact, during a particularly challenging day, Ben wrote this note to
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whomever it concerned. Here's what he wrote. He writes, he puts his
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name at the top. Ben, He's being homed school. He says this.
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It is not going good. My mom is getting stressed out. My
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mom is really getting confused. We took a break so my mom can figure
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this stuff out. And I'm telling you it is not going good. Now.
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Even if you weren't recruited against your will into the underworld of homeschooling,
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you can feel Ben's pain and you can feel his mother's pain as well.
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But like a lot of us in this season, Ben and his mom,
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well, they rose to the occasion. That's what leaders do. But that's
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not what everybody does. In fact, the folks who have leadership titles but
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who lack leadership intuition, they're actually failing miserably right now, aren't they.
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They're failing miserably quickly, and unfortunately some of them are failing publicly now.
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When the people at leader Cast reached out to me about this new and necessary
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format. I actually went to work creating new content in light of what's happening.
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And so while I'm sorry that we're not together, I am very excited
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about what I have to share because while there are no maps or instructions for
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what we're currently navigating, there are some key principles to keep in mind,
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and today I just want to share three with you. But before we go
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there, I have to go here. As most of you know, I'm
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a pastor by profession. That's my day job and it has been for gosh,
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over thirty years. And I'm the son of a pastor, and my
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dad's grandfather was a pastor, and my oldest son is a stand up comedian,
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which is close. Anyway, my point in bringing this up, and
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please don't tune me out until you hear me out. If you're a leader,
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if you lead a team, a division, a department, or a
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franchise, or if you own a company, if you coach a little league
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team, or maybe if you coached a little league team, if you're a
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teacher, a professor, maybe a superintendent, if you lead in any capacity,
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you are, and don't tune me out. You are actually a pastor.
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And here's why I say that, while for most of us the term
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pastor carries religious connotation, it is not a religious term. In fact,
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it comes from a Latin term for shepherd. In fact, the term pastor
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that appears in our English New Testaments, our English Bibles, it also comes
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from a Greek term for shepherd. So a pastor is a shepherd. But
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to be clear, that does not mean your employees and your direct reports are
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sheep. As we're going to discover together, most of them are pastors or
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shepherds in their own capacity. Now, in spite of my heritage, and
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this is going to be very difficult for some of you to believe, pastoring
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does not come naturally to me, I had to learn. In fact,
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the people around me would tell you that I'm still learning. I'm a much
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better public speaker, and I'm a much better decision maker than i am a
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shepherd or pastor, and I'm not proud of that. In fact, the
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only reason I share that with you is so for those of you who are
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already playing with your phone because you're thinking, there's no way I'm going to
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do this right. You're not the touchy feely type, and this is sounding
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a way way too soft for you. I get that, and this may
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not be the way that you're wired. But here's the thing, it's still
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part of your responsibility as a leader, and that's what I hope to convince
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you of over the next few minutes. Maybe this will set your mind at
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ease. Years ago, one of the gentlemen on our board was rushed to
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the hospital for emergency surgery. And when I found out, I drove over
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to the hospital to check on him, and I didn't And honestly, I
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still don't do a lot of hospital visitation two reasons. Number one, I'm
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terrible at it, and number two, I'm uncomfortable with it. And then
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I make people uncomfortable, which is the last thing you want to do when
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people are already uncomfortable. But at times, of course, it's what I
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need to do, so I do it anyway. So I walk into Ray's
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hospital room and his eyes got big, and before he could stop himself,
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he blurts out, Andy, what are you doing here? And I said,
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well, Ray, I just came by to check on you, and
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he said, and I quote and Ray and I have laughed about this ever
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since. He said, oh, when I saw you, I thought it
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must be worse than they told me because I'm such a comforting present. So
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for some of you, when I'm about to suggest, will not come natural,
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and I can appreciate that. In fact, my tendency is to shy
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away from this role and to shy. In fact, my tendency is to
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shy away from this role in such a way that I've had to give my
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wife, my administrative assistant, and others permission to push me back into this
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role. And I know that sounds so strange to you because I'm a pastor.
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Now. The point is you may have to allow the people around you
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to push you into this role as well, and that's okay. It doesn't
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mean that you don't care about people. You do. You just care differently.
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But in times of disruptions, we have to disrupt our own patterns of
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leadership and resist, in some cases our personalities and even our temperaments. And
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I'm confident you can do this. I'm confident that you can step into the
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role of pastor or shepherd because you're a leader. You're a great leader,
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and great leaders don't hide behind what's comfortable. Right, We don't play it
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safe. We don't barricade ourselves behind our staff and our titles and you know,
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and our org charts. We know the danger of refusing to step outside
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of our comfort zones, right, We know this. Great leaders do what
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needs to be done. And in times of disruption, In times of disruption,
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people need shepherding, they need pastoring, they need reassuring. It's part
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of our job, and now more than ever, whether it is comfortable or
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not, whether it fits our temperament or our personalities or not, we have
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to turn it up in the mix. And here's the thing. In fact,
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I'll make you a promise. If you do this, even if you
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do it poorly or awkwardly, people whose lives and salaries and security you're responsible
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for, they're going to be grateful. And if this is not your normal
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leadership style, they will recognize that and they will be especially grateful. They're
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going to recognize that you're actually stepping outside of what's comfortable for you for their
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sake, that you're putting them first. And that's what great leaders do.
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So I want to suggest three things, and then at the end, I'm
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going to tell you a story about a leader who chose to step way out
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side of his just give me the facts approach to leadership that a lot of
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us embrace. A leader who's circumstances, Well, these circumstances are so extreme,
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and you're going to remember this story, but after today you may remember
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this story in a different light. But first, three essentials for leading through
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disruption. Number one, During times of disruption, your voice is more important
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than your words. Your voice is more important than your words. People need
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to hear your voice. It's not enough for them to read your words.
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I mean, email and text are for normal times. During times of disruption,
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people need to hear your voice. They need to hear our voice.
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Now, I know you're just like me, you are so tired of online
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meetings. But they are essential. And they're not just essential because of the
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agenda agenda. They're essential because people need to hear your voice. They need
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reassuring. You may not need it, but they do. So here's a
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tip. Use your zoom calls to shepherd people as well as cover agenda items.
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And you can do this when there are a handful of folks on the
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call. Just begin by asking everybody, how are you doing? Just just
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go right around the circle, how are you doing? And take notes,
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so that next time you're together you could ask specific questions. Second time around,
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you say, Molly, hey, last time you mentioned your mom,
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how's your mom? Hey, Gary, you know, how's your wife handling
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being furloughed? Last time you mentioned she'd been furloughed? How's homeschooling? Everybody
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knows the answer to that right anyway, But allowing people to hear your voice
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it actually goes beyond zoom calls and online staff gatherings. In some instances,
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you're going to need to pick up your phone and call people. Call somebody,
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even if you can't call everybody. This is symbolic leadership. In other
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words, and we've talked about this before. Every once in a while,
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in leadership, you have to do for one what you wish you could do
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for everyone. Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.
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Your team may be too large for you to call everyone, but call someone,
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especially if you've heard that someone is having a particularly difficult time. People
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talk the story of your well timed, short, maybe even awkward, phone
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call. It's going to circulate, and that's not why you're doing it.
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You're doing it because you care, right, So ignore that little voice in
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your head that we all hear. Just ignore that little voice that says,
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since I can't do it for everyone, I shouldn't do it for anyone.
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That is nonsense. Don't be fair, be engaged, especially in times like
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these. It was probably, I don't know, about three weeks ago a
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staff member and her husband had a big disruption related to the COVID nineteen pandemic,
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and I was talking. I was at home. I was talking to
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Sandra about it, and she said, well, have you called her?
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And I said no, but I was planning to text her later. And
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she just looked at me like she does sometimes, and she said, you
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should call her. She needs to hear your voice, she needs to hear
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from you. And then she reached over on the kitchen counter and she handed
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me my phone and said, I think you should call her right now,
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right, And so I did. That was the right thing to do,
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And of course I didn't know exactly what to say. At times, there's
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not a right thing to say, and that's why we don't call, isn't
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it. But that's a mistake. So call people, Call somebody, even
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if you can't call everybody. So maybe a week later, Sandra and I
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were having dinner alone at home, and I was telling her about another family
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that was going through a difficult time, and I said, I thought I
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was going to get credit for this, and said, hey, I just
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got his wife's sell And she said, well, have you called And I
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said no, I'm going to call tomorrow. She said, let's call right
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now. So again she hands me my phone and we called. Awkward.
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Yes, appreciated, Yes, the right thing to do, of course,
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So you might remember this. This will help you a little bit. You
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remember this scene. I think we all do you remember this scene? Remember
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this picture. President Bush is standing there with Bob beckwith he's with the New
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York Fire Department, and they're standing there. If you remember the broader scene,
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they're surveying the dam image at the nine to eleven site, and the
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crowd seized President Bush there and the crowd begins to chant Usa, Usa,
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Usa, and President Bush. This is so interesting. President Bush could have
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simply waved, but somehow intuitively he knew, he knew they needed to hear
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his voice, so you'll remember this. So he borrows Bob's bullhorn. He's
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unprepared, unscripted, unrehearsed, but he knew they needed to hear his voice,
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and in that moment, America needed to hear his voice right, and
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this became an iconic moment. He began talking through the bullhorn, and after
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a minute you'll remember this, somebody from the back of the crowd yells out,
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I can't hear you, and President Bush shouts back through the bullhorn,
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I can hear you. And the rest of the world here's you and the
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people, the people who knock down these buildings, they're going to hear from
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all of us soon. And then you'll remember the workers started chanting again,
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Usa, Usa, Usa, And then he said this. He said,
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the nation sends its love and compassion, unscripted, unrehearsed, but so memorable.
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It was what we needed at the time. And during times of disruption,
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the people in your organization need to hear your voice again. Our voices
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are more important than our words. Our voices are more important than our words.
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And that leads me to the second essential during times of disruption, During
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times of disruption, your presence or my presence, our presence. Your presence
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is more important than your presentation. Your presence just being there is more important
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than your presentation. Now, one reason that I don't communicate more in times
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like this is I don't feel like I should communicate until I have something to
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say or something new, something helpful, something insightful, and something specific to
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say, until I have answer to give and solutions to offer. And that's
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a mistake because during times of disruption, we must communicate before we have answers
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and before we have solutions. And that's difficult for some of us, isn't
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it, because our presence is more important than our presentation. Now again,
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this is difficult for anybody who has any kind of leadership role. And here's
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why I get this because we are solution oriented, we are strategy oriented,
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and we are progress oriented. That's why we're leaders. So this is how
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we think. We think, well, why pull people together if we don't
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have solutions and we don't have answers and we don't have a plan. And
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the answer is this, because in times of disruption, there's something more important
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than solutions, answers and plans, namely reassurance. People need to know.
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People need to know that we are feeling what they are feeling, and that
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we are thinking about them, that we're concerned for them. And that's what
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a pastor Shepherd leader does Now again, I struggle with this. I am
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very scripted. I am a very scripted In fact, I'm a preparation addict.
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I don't show up unprepared. And in normal times, that's a win,
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right, and that's to my advantage. I mean, it demonstrates discipline.
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Preparation, you know, demonstrates a respect for people's time. Under normal
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circumstances, you know this, to show up unprepared is actually disrespectful. But
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in times of disruption, in times of disruption, preparation has to take a
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back seat to our presence. Showing up and showing up more than is expected,
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more than we need to, that's the win. It sends well,
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it really sends an intangible message that I don't know that it could be communicated
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any other way. Besides, you know this, the folks in your organization
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are smart. They know there are no answers right now. They know there
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is no solution right now. I mean, we're in the middle of a
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crisis. But what they need to know is that we know that we're working
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on it for their sake, that we have them in mind. Maybe another
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hospital illustration will bring this into focus, and I'll be honest, This one
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may be a little close to home, depending on what you're going through right
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now. Have you ever sat in a waiting room waiting for information from a
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doctor or a surgeon. Either you're there with someone you love, or perhaps
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you're getting the results of a surgery you've just had, or there's a you're
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just waiting. You're sitting in the waiting room, you're waiting for a doctor
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or a surgeon. Can you get too much information in that situation? I
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mean, can they over communicate? Can they show up too often? Can
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they show up too soon? No? In fact, when the doctor or
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the surgeon walks in, what do we do? We just lean in?
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Right? We crave information, we crave reassurance, and we crave their presence.
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We don't want a text, we don't want a phone call. We
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want a person. And in a hospital waiting room, isn't this true?
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In a hospital waiting room, we could care less about the quality of the
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doctor's presence. I mean, we don't roll our eyes if his grammar isn't
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perfect, and we don't get upset if she mispronounces a name. In fact,
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I have a dear friend in the hospital right now who tested positive for
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COVID nineteen and he is literally no exaggeration, he is fighting for his life
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right now. So the other night, I'm Sandra and I called his wife
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at home. And the reason she's at home, of course, is because
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in this current environment, they send everybody home. It's just so frustrating,
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it's so terrible. And his wife did not have my phone number in her
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cell phone, but she answered immediately, and when she found out it was
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me, I could hear the disappointment in her voice. Why, well,
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before she could help herself catch herself, she told me she said this,
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She said, oh, I'm sorry, Andy, I thought you were the
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ICU doctor. And then she started apologizing and I'm like, no, no,
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you don't have to apologize. I understand right why because she's waiting by
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the phone hoping to hear from the doctor. Now, our situations aren't that
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extreme for most of us. But here's the thing. When people's jobs,
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when people's salaries, when people's hours, when people's security is in jeopardy,
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it's equally top of mind and it is equally top of emotion. They cannot
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get too much information. We cannot over communicate and let people know when they
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can expect to hear from you again. Say it once, say it twice,
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and say hey, I'm going to be back next week. We're going
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to meet again, even if I'm just going to repeat what you already know.
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I want to be present because hearing my voice is more important than my
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words, and my presence is more important than my preparation. Now, one
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more thing on this point, And this may not be practical for you,
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but just give it some thought. Whenever it's possible, give people an opportunity
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to voice their concern and ask questions. Like most of you, we are
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limited to online staff and department gatherings right now, and it's all a clunky
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and you know when you have dozens or maybe even hundreds of people gathered in
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that format, folks, well they're going to be reluctant to ask questions in
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public, most folks, anyway. So create a way or maybe create ways
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for people to ask questions offline or even online. Use the chat feature,
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or set up an email account specifically for that purpose so people can ask their
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questions in private. Give them your cell number, but somehow invite feedback,
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because this is a tangible way of saying we have nothing to hide, We're
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telling you everything we know and if we've missed something, ask us. We
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want to know what you want to know. Recently, in fact, just
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two weeks ago, I had an opportunity to interview Patrick Lincioni on my Leadership
20:47
podcast about his brand new book, The Motive, and by the way,
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it is a great book. But before the interview, he was in California
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and I was here in Georgia and we were skyping. I said, hey,
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hey, Pat, before we jump in, what are you saying to
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leaders right now? Because he talks to leaders around the country and around the
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world all the time, and I'm thinking with the global pandemic, I said,
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you know, Patrick, what are you saying to leaders right now?
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And here's here's what he said. He said, I'm telling leaders to be
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human. That amazing. I'm telling leaders to be human, to check in
21:18
often. No one has ever this is such a powerful statement. No one
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has ever left a company because the leader over communicated or communicated to often.
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And he's right, isn't he He's right. That's why I say your voice
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is more important than your words, and your presence. Your presence is more
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important than your presentation. Last thing number three in times of disruption. In
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times of disruption, clarity is the next best thing to certainty. Clarity is
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the next best thing to certainty. Now, this is human nature. People
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crave certainty, we all do. It's human nature. People crave certainty.
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The problem is, no matter how good you are as a leader, you
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cannot provide certainty. Certainty is beyond your control. It's beyond all of our
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control. Why because certainty is in the realm that we have no control over,
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namely the future. You can promise certainty, but you can't provide it.
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And if you promise it and don't provide it, you lose the third
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See, you lose credibility. Right when politicians we know this, when politicians
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are running for office, there's some speeches are always filled with certainty. You
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know, elect me, and I promise, I promise, I promise,
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I promise. Unfortunately, you have to over promise to get elected anything in
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our country. But fortunately for you, you're not running for anything. So
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don't give into that temptation. You'll just disappoint people. But while we can't
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provide certainty, and this is so important, while we can't provide certainty,
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which we can't, we can provide the next best thing and the next best
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thing to certainty is clarity and in times of disruption, will suffice. When
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a state governor recently was asked why he didn't address the people in his state
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about you know, the coronavirus earlier, you know why he didn't try to
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get out ahead of it and you know, talk to his state. Here's
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what he said. He said, I didn't want to create panic. But
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here's why that was a bad decision. Information doesn't usually create panic. Information
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doesn't usually create panic. Withholding information is what often creates panic withholding information.
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Here's what happened withholding information, even little bits of information. It forces people
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to seek out information from unreliable sources. Then there's misinformation, conflicting information,
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and that's what causes people to panic. But information from someone with authority,
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someone who has access to more information, even partial information, that provides clarity.
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It doesn't remove the uncertainty, because well, you can't remove uncertainty,
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but it addresses it. When leadership is quiet for too long and appears to
24:03
be inaccessible, what happens people begin to seek answers from unofficial sources, which
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fuels rumors and later actually undermines the credibility of the people who are in charge.
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In the case of the coronavirus, we've all seen this. It's actually
24:18
made it more difficult to persuade the public to take the necessary steps to spread
24:22
to stop the spread of the virus. Why because in some cases leaders didn't
24:26
get out ahead of the information, and they didn't show up enough times for
24:30
people to understand what was really going on, and they left people wondering and
24:34
wandering and looking for information and unreliable sources. So the point is simply this,
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it's impossible. I just think it's impossible to overstate the importance of consistent,
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transparent communication and times of disruption. People want to make informed decisions and
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they need information to do that. They don't need answers. They're smart,
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they don't need solutions. Sometimes there are no solutions, but they do need
24:59
information. So take every opportunity to provide clarity. And while we're on this,
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let me just say one more thing. When it comes to clarity,
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let's be honest, right, be honest, don't pretend, and please don't
25:15
exaggerate. You can be hopeful and you can be reassuring, but dishonest or
25:19
even less than transparent that's always a mistake. This will always come back to
25:23
haunt you. It will actually erode your credibility. But worse, I think
25:29
worse, it sets people up for despair. Now back to our personalities for
25:33
a moment. Some of us are better than others at delivering not so good
25:38
news. Right for the naturally optimistic leaders out there, this is going to
25:42
run so counter to your wiring. But this is so important, and as
25:47
I mentioned earlier, in times of disruption, we all have to step up
25:51
and step outside of our comfort zone. And while being both honest and hopeful
25:56
seem a little bit counterintuitive, especially when honest seems to undermine hopeful, it
26:00
isn't. In fact, there's a way to do both, and as a
26:03
leader, you must do both. And here's why. You may be familiar
26:07
with the name Admiral Jim Stockdale. Admiral Jim Stockdale he ran for vice president
26:12
back in the nineties. He was a Navy vice admiral, but he's best
26:17
known for the fact that he was This is amazing. He was the highest
26:21
ranking US military officer to be imprisoned in the Hanoy Hilton prisoner of War camp
26:26
during the Vietnam War. He was there for eight years. Let that sink
26:32
in. He was there for eight years. He was tortured over twenty times,
26:34
primarily because he refused to cooperate with the Vietnamese, a North Vietnamese propaganda
26:40
machine. He actually disfigured his own face with a razor so they wouldn't put
26:45
him on camera. Now years ago, author Jim Collins had an opportunity to
26:48
interview Stockdale for his book Good to Great and he asked him the question that
26:53
well, we would all want to ask him, and he said, Admiral
26:56
Stockdale, how in the world did you survive? And here's what he said.
27:00
He said, I never lost faith in the end of the story.
27:06
That is such a powerful, powerful statement. But he continued, he said
27:10
this, He said, I never doubted not only that I would get out,
27:15
but also that I would prevail in the end, and I would turn
27:18
this experience into the defining event of my life, which in retrospect I would
27:25
not trade. And then Jim Collins asked this question. He said, well,
27:30
then, who didn't make it out, to which he replied, oh,
27:33
that's easy. The optimist, he continued, The optimist. They were
27:40
the ones who said we're going to be out by Christmas, and Christmas would
27:42
come, and Christmas would go, and then they would say we're going to
27:47
be out by Easter, and Easter would come, and Easter would go,
27:51
and then Thanksgiving and then it would be Christmas again. And then he made
27:56
this statement, he said, the optimist, the optimist die of a broken
28:02
heart. And then he turns to Jim. This was like a dramatic moment.
28:04
He turns to Jim Collins and he says, Jim, this is a
28:07
very very very important lesson. And then he made what became a pretty famous
28:11
statement. He said this. He said, you must never confuse faith.
28:18
You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end, which you
28:22
can never afford to lose, with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts
28:27
of your current reality, whatever whatever they may be. Now, this is
28:33
sometimes referred to as the Stockdale paradox, and a paradox, as you know,
28:37
as a seemingly self contradictory statement that actually proved to be true. And
28:41
the paradox here is simply this, and this is the leadership lesson for all
28:45
of us. Never give up hope, Never give up hope, but never
28:51
deceive yourself about current reality, never give up hope, and never deceive yourself
28:56
about current reality. In other words, face the brutal facts. Again,
29:02
there is such an important leadership lesson here for all of us, especially right
29:04
now. And here's what it is. Part of our role as leaders shepherds
29:10
is to inspire our team members not to give up hope, not to despair,
29:15
while at the same time refusing, refusing to pull any punches as it
29:19
relates well to the brutal facts of our current situation. And that's difficult for
29:25
some of us, right. I mean, if you're an all sunshine and
29:26
roses and you know, dance around the brutal facts kind of leader, you
29:30
accidentally set your people up for despair. But if you bury people under the
29:36
facts and the stats and the forecast, you leave them with no other option
29:41
but despair. But if you're willing, and if we're willing to stand in
29:45
the middle, if you're willing to kind of rain in that part of your
29:48
temperament and personality that sort of leans one way to the exclusion of the other,
29:52
and you offer hope rooted in reality, then you've done your job as
29:57
a leader. Then you've done your people at great service. You have led
30:03
well, You've provided clarity in the midst of uncertainty. So be honest,
30:08
don't pretend tell it like it is, tell it like it really is,
30:12
and then point toward a preferred future, a realistic, but preferred and possible
30:18
future. You say things like this, You say, look, I don't
30:22
have all the answers right now, but we will figure this out together.
30:26
So you give people something to hope for, and when you can give them
30:30
something to work for, say things like this, I don't know when.
30:33
I don't know when we will open our doors again, but in the meantime,
30:37
here are three things I want you to focus on. Again. You
30:41
can't provide certainty, but you can provide clarity, and in times of disruption,
30:45
clarity is enough. It's the next best thing to certainty. So be
30:51
clear, even if you're not certain. Just this past week, I actually
30:55
send a short video out to our entire staff announcing that our plan is to
30:59
re open our churches or our doors of our organization on August the ninth,
31:03
when school starts, and then we all went to work creating a plan to
31:07
be ready for August the ninth. Now am I certain that we're going to
31:11
be back in business by August. No, and I told him that.
31:15
But I said this, look until you hear otherwise, this is the plan.
31:18
And if something changes, I will let you know immediately. Certainty,
31:22
no clarity. Yes, So in review. Here's our three big ideas in
31:29
review. In times of disruption, remember your voice is more important than your
31:33
words. In times of disruption, your presence is more important than your presentation.
31:38
And in times of disruption, clarity is the next best thing, the
31:42
next best thing to certainty. Now, before we go, I want to
31:47
close with one more story. If you've ever visited with a friend or a
31:52
family member, or maybe a parishioner who has lost a child, you know
31:57
it is one of the most difficult environs in the world to step into,
32:00
especially if it was a sudden or unexpected loss. There are no words,
32:07
there are no solutions. But imagine this. Imagine having to walk into that
32:12
environment twenty times to comfort twenty families on the same afternoon. This was the
32:21
situation that President Obama found himself walking into by choice, right after the Sandy
32:27
Hook Elementary School shootings back in twenty twelve in Newtown, Connecticut. You may
32:32
remember, on December the fourteenth, a twenty year old broke into the school
32:37
just after the doors had been locked and shot and killed twenty six people,
32:43
including twenty children, before taking his own life. The oldest child was seven
32:51
years old. Michelle Obama says it's the only time in eight years that President
32:55
Obama actually requested her presence in the middle of the day, and in her
33:00
memoir she said it was the darkest day in the White House for the two
33:04
of them. She wrote this, She said, when I walked into the
33:07
Oval office, Barack and I embraced silently that there was nothing to say.
33:13
There were no words. And then she said this she says, as a
33:16
fact guy, in that most of us. As a fact guy, she
33:20
said her husband demanded to be fully briefed. He wanted all the details.
33:24
Joshua Dubois was the spiritual adviser to the president at the time, and in
33:29
his book The President's Devotional, he describes the Saturday morning he got word that
33:34
the President ready for this, wanted to meet with each of the families of
33:37
the victims, and afterwards to participate in an inner faith memorial service that would
33:43
be televised. And then he said he wanted Joshua to go with him.
33:46
Joshua describes what happened when they arrived at the school. This is what he
33:51
wrote. He said, we prepared seven or eight classrooms for the families of
33:55
the slain children, and teachers two or three families to a classroom. The
34:02
President took a deep breath and stealed himself and went into the first classroom.
34:07
And what happened next, I will never forget. Person after person received an
34:15
engulfing hug from our commander in chief. He'd say, tell me about your
34:20
son, tell me about your daughter, and then hold pictures of the loss
34:24
beloved as their parents describe their favorite foods, their favorite television shows, and
34:30
the sound of their laughter. Then for the younger siblings of those who had
34:36
passed away, many of them two or three or four years old, too
34:38
young to understand, the President would grab them, toss them, laughing up
34:45
into the air, and then hand each of them a box of White House
34:49
eminems. Then he said this in each room. I saw his eyes water,
34:57
but he didn't break. And then he writes, And then the entire
35:01
scene would repeat for hours, over and over and over again. Threw well
35:07
over a hundred relatives of the fallen, each one equally broken and wrecked by
35:14
the loss. Joshua went on to say that he and the President drove to
35:19
Air Force One in silence, they flew home in silence, and that the
35:22
President never spoke of those sacred meetings and those sacred pup moments in public.
35:30
Now here's why I tell you that. First of all, it takes away
35:37
all of our excuses, doesn't it. That day President Obama was the pastor
35:42
in chief, he was the shepherd in chief. He showed his humanity,
35:47
He took off the mantle of authority. He set it aside. Why because
35:52
that's what the moment called for. Now, think about it. He could
35:55
have gotten away with a handwritten note to each family or a call, or
36:00
he could have met with all the families at one time and expressed his condolences.
36:04
But he didn't. He waded in because that's what the moment called for.
36:08
That's what leaders do. Now it goes without saying, but I'm gonna
36:15
say it anyway, Regardless of what we will be called upon to do in
36:19
the next few months, it will pale in comparison. Right, and as
36:24
important and as busy as you are. Again, his decision and his courage
36:30
that day removed. All our excuses. Come on. We're leaders, right,
36:37
like President Obama or President Bush or Cheryl Samberg or Tim Cook or Cheryl
36:42
Batchelder or Larry Murlow or Tony Dungee. I could go on and on and
36:45
on. We're fact people, right, We're progress people, We're strategy people,
36:49
we're answered people. But in times of disruption, none of that matters.
36:54
It's not what people need most. They need our humanity. They need
36:59
to know that we care in times of disruption. That is our job description.
37:05
We won't do it the same, We certainly won't do it perfectly,
37:07
but do it we must for such a time as this. You are the
37:13
leader at home, at work, in the community. You're not always going
37:17
to know what to say. You're not always going to know what to do.
37:21
You are not always going to have the answers. You can't predict or
37:24
control the future, all of which is okay. But what you can do
37:29
is show up, speak up. Disruption really isn't our enemy. Disruption is
37:34
our opportunities that don't miss it. Now, more than ever, people need
37:37
clarity because there's so little certainty. Now, more than ever, your voice
37:43
is more important than your words, and Now more than ever, your presence
37:46
is more important than your presentation. Now, more than ever, the world
37:51
needs leaders. The world needs you. Thank you,