Latest / The Rosanne Callens Podcast / E10: What Fear Is Really Telling You (And Why You Feel Stuck)
Transcript
- Rosanne Callens: Hi friends, Rosanne Callens here. Let's talk about something that every single one of us experiences, but most of us don't talk about enough. Fear. Fear of making the wrong move. Fear of being seen. Fear of failing. But honestly, fear of succeeding. ⁓ And if you're anything like the people I work with, you're someone who shows up. You're someone who gets things done. You're someone who people rely on. But underneath all of that, there can still be this quiet voice that says, what if I messed this up? And today, I want to reframe fear for you. Because fear is not the problem. Everyone, fear is not a stop sign. It's a signal. Because brains wired to keep us safe. So anytime that you try to do something new or be more visible or take a risk or change direction, your brain's like, whoa, wait a minute. We've never done this before. This could be dangerous. But here's the truth. Your brain doesn't even know the difference between a real threat and an honest growth opportunity. So our brain treats it the same, which is why posting on LinkedIn feels scary. posting on Instagram feels scary. Speaking up feels scary. Starting something brand new feels scary. there have been so many moments in life where I knew I needed to a step. I knew it, ⁓ but I didn't feel ready. ⁓ I just remember, ⁓ even recently recording something and posting and stepping into something new like this podcast and thinking, man, what if people don't like this? And then I thought, ⁓ what if I sound ridiculous? And what if it doesn't land with people? And then I just had this moment where I thought, okay, Rosanne, I mean, you can either sit overthinking this for the next six months or a year, ⁓ or can just hit record. ⁓ And what, guys, I hit record. And has been perfect? No. But did it matter? No, because what happened after that was momentum. Momentum is built the moment that you move, not the moment you feel ready. You have to move. And I'm going to talk to you about how high achievers experience fear. Fear doesn't always look like fear. Sometimes fear sounds like, ⁓ I'm going to do that later. Or I just need more time. Or I need to think about it. Or my personal favorite, I just want to get everything perfect first. And I say this with love, that is not preparation, that's protection. Perfection is often fear in disguise. And so what is the cost of fear? Well, fear itself isn't the problem. It's what happens when we listen to it for too long. We stay in analysis paralysis mode. We stay waiting. We stay analyzing. We stay delaying and we don't just stay safe. We stay stuck. And over time that creates something even harder than fear. it creates regret. That feeling of, I know I'm capable of more and I know there's something else out there for me. Fear keeps you safe and it can also keep you small. what I see all the time. We get stuck in these loops of what if I fail? What if I mess this up? What if people judge me? Ooh, what if I make the wrong decision? and our brain just keeps stacking these what ifs up until we freeze and we don't move at all. But I wanna flip it. So instead of asking, what if this goes wrong? We said, what if this works? What if this opportunity I've been waiting for actually works? What if this changes everything? What if I'm actually ready? What if you applied for whatever it is and got it? What if you showed up and people noticed? What if the thing that you're afraid of is actually the biggest thing moving your life forward? Your brain will always give you what ifs and you, you get to choose which one you listen to. Now, I had a client recently and they kept saying, I just need more time. I'm not ready yet. And when we really unpack it, it wasn't the time, it was actually fear. It was fear of being seen differently. It was. fear of stepping into something bigger. ⁓ once we named it, everything shifted. And remember, you've got to start that momentum. ⁓ can't ⁓ past something that you're not gonna name. So here's something that you can do this week. When fear shows up, I want you to ask yourself, what am I afraid of right now? Is this dangerous ⁓ is it just uncomfortable? What would I do if I trusted myself? And then, I want you to take one small step, not 10 steps, not the whole plan, just one. And this is where AI is wonderful in the sense of helping us and we could ask AI to support our dreams and give us wonderful responses to make us feel like we're ready for this. But then once again, that fear steps in and we get overwhelmed by everything, And we think, well, I can't take a step yet because I have to do... these 15 or 20 things that the whatever AI you're using, know, like ChatGPD told me to, okay? But here's the thing, everyone, confidence is not required before taking action. It's created through what? What is it created through? It's created through the momentum, the action. if there's something on your heart right now, and something you've been thinking about, and fear is showing up. I want you to hear this. You're not behind. You are not unready and you are not incapable. You are standing at the edge of growth. And this is my challenge, my challenge for you this week. When you catch yourself saying, ⁓ that's not going to work. I want you to ask yourself, but what if it does? And then take one powerful step. That's where everything will start to shift. can't say that enough this episode. And remember. The magic isn't out there. The magic is already in you. And for those of you who are watching on YouTube, you get to see my fabulous whiteboard, but I will describe it, okay? So fear for our brain is false evidence appearing real, Your brain is just programmed to keep you safe. ⁓ So what I wanted to you is something that I just went to a workshop and someone did this visually and I think this is really powerful and I thought, ⁓ this is something I'm gonna share with my clients, We've all seen that wonderful image where it says our comfort zone and it's like a little baby circle and then it says there's a little dot out here and it says, you know, this is where the magic. my gosh, look at my writing. This is where the magic happens, ⁓ what I would like for you to do is I would like for you right now, either on your phone, in your notes section, or you could write this out. I want you to write comfort and then draw a little circle. That's your comfort zone, okay? And then I want you to list three fears outside of it. So one, two, three. I want you to write down three fears that you have. The three things that your brain's saying, ⁓ you can't do that, or. You're not ready for that. What are some fears that you have going on? Now, once you write that, just like I shared today, I want you to take one step toward it. I want you to take baby steps because I know all of you listening are people who are used to taking 10 steps, 20 steps. You're just used to knocking everything out. But sometimes we have that one thing that is scaring us or a couple things that are scaring us. And guess what everyone, once you start working on your fears and tackling them and saying, Hey, thank you brain for keeping me safe, but I am going to step into my excellence. Once you do that and you conquer these fears, guess what? Your comfort circle now becomes bigger because you have become, I'll call it comfortably uncomfortable ⁓ with. doing these new things. So guess what I'm gonna want you to do after you've done that? Yeah, you guessed it. I want you to tell me, okay, what are some other fears I have and now let me conquer that. This is so powerful everyone, I can't say it enough, okay? One of my fears was showing up on social media and what was holding me back was some of the things I shared with you today. What if people judge me? What if I mess up speaking in front of the camera? What if I don't understand the technology and I record it, but then I can't get it out there? And guess what? It was so hard in the beginning. It was so hard. And every time I do a podcast like this, it gets easier. It really does. It really gets easier, I promise you. And then your brain goes, ⁓ hey, I really didn't need to freak out about that. And then your brain chooses something else to freak out about. So you got this. I believe in you. You have so much magic in you, you have no idea. So I want you to go take on the day and take one step towards your fear. And I would love to know what it is that you're doing, because I'd like to cheer you on. So give me a DM or write a comment about a fear that you're tackling and let me be part of your pom-pom posse, as my amazing friend and coach, Portia Miller, calls it. I would love to be part of your pom-pom posse. cheerleading you on for you being brave enough to step into fear So that's it friends. I want you to be brave I want you step into fear I want you to tackle some things that have really been holding you back because you know what the world needs you the world needs you to be brave the world needs your sparkle and With that being said, I will see you next week, friends. Thank you for listening or thank you for watching. Please like and subscribe and share with your friends. That would mean so much to me as I'm conquering my fears. Bye bye.