Transcript

179. Yin/Yang · Impact Ready

0:02
Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
0:06
your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
0:09
Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
0:12
energy each day. This is for those who seek to
0:15
make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
0:23
Hello team, welcome to the show. So glad you're here.
0:26
Hope you had an awesome weekend. Happy Monday.
0:28
Today in this episode, I want to talk about a concept that I
0:33
think our modern world, especially the Western world,
0:35
really struggles with right now. And I'm seeing it play out.
0:38
We are seeing it play out all across the news, all across
0:44
social media, in our social circles.
0:47
It is something that is so in our face and it's this idea of
0:50
duality. And what I mean by that is it's
0:54
sort of an idea of black and white thinking.
0:58
I speak about it with coaching clients as the struggle of
1:01
duality and it's essentially the idea that there is one side or
1:07
another and it's either or. And this can be a huge roadblock
1:11
in our thinking to think that it's either or all of the time.
1:15
It can be very limiting, it can be very disempowering, and it
1:19
can often times be problematic in terms of our relationships
1:22
and our social interactions and so on.
1:25
I'm somebody who likes to live in the Gray.
1:29
Ever since I went to school for Chinese medicine and I fully
1:32
learned about the concept of yin and Yang, it changed the way
1:36
that I saw the world. Yin Yang is a relational concept
1:41
in Chinese philosophy, and it's developed over thousands of
1:44
years. But briefly put, the meaning of
1:47
Yin and Yang is that the universe is governed by a sort
1:51
of cosmic duality, sets of two opposing but complementing
1:57
principles or energies that can always be observed in nature.
2:02
They are interconnected, they are interdependent, and that
2:06
means that one cannot exist without the other one.
2:09
Now, if I were to generally describe this, yen could be
2:14
characterized as an inward energy.
2:17
It's more of the feminine energy.
2:19
It's more still, it's darkness, it's negative energy in terms of
2:24
polarity, It's the quieter and softer type of energy.
2:28
On the other hand, you have young energy, which is
2:30
characterized as more outward, more masculine.
2:33
In terms of temperature, it would be hot rather than cold
2:36
like yen would be. It's considered bright in terms
2:40
of polarity. It would be positive.
2:43
It would be the right hand side versus the left hand side of
2:45
yen. And it took me a while to wrap
2:47
my brain around this when I was in grad school, as it does most
2:50
students because it can be complex.
2:53
But you can see this concept present in pairs in the world,
2:56
the moon and the sun, female and male, dark and bright, cold and
3:00
hot, as I was saying, passive and active, right and left,
3:04
etcetera. These two concepts that are
3:09
present in pairs. Now what's important about this
3:13
is that while the world is composed of many different,
3:17
sometimes opposing forces, these can coexist and they often
3:22
complement each other. So what I mean by that is
3:25
sometimes forces opposite in nature even rely on one another
3:28
to exist. The yin and the Yang lie in the
3:32
interchange in the interplay of two things, for example, the
3:38
alternation of day and night. There cannot be a shadow without
3:44
light, so within every bit of darkness there is a seed of
3:48
light, and that's the basis of the concept.
3:51
Now the balance of yin and Yang is also very important.
3:54
If yin is stronger, then Yang will be weaker.
3:57
For example, if darkness is more prominent than there is less
4:01
light, and vice versa, but there's usually not yin and Yang
4:05
alone. In other words, there's not
4:08
complete darkness with 0 light, at least not on this earth.
4:11
Yin elements can contain certain parts of Yang, and Yang can have
4:16
components of yin. In Chinese medicine and Taoism
4:21
and Eastern philosophy, this balance of yin and Yang is
4:25
perceived to exist in everything in the world.
4:27
It's especially prominent when you just look out your window
4:29
and you look at nature. We as humans, at least in the
4:33
Western world, we are often very uncomfortable with this idea of
4:38
yin and Yang. We get confused and caught up
4:42
and tripped up by this idea that there could be duality between
4:46
two concepts. For example, push and pull.
4:49
How could they coexist? They're opposites of each other.
4:52
That doesn't make sense. Discipline, but self compassion.
4:56
Yeah, they can both exist in one space, but we're not comfortable
4:59
with that. Strive but surrender.
5:02
Effort but rest. Be driven but also relaxed.
5:05
Care but be detached. Have intensity but also have
5:08
joy. So many people are saying, wait,
5:12
you're telling me to be this, but you're also telling me to be
5:14
this. I'm not comfortable with that.
5:18
But so many of us understand what this means.
5:21
All of my entrepreneurs out there will completely understand
5:23
that you have to have extreme discipline, but you also have to
5:26
have self compassion. They will completely understand
5:29
that you have to strive, but also surrender.
5:32
These two seeming opposites actually make a lot of sense in
5:36
context with each other. They're interdependent and
5:39
interconnected, just like the yin and the Yang.
5:42
In the Western world, though, we tend to think in a linear and
5:46
binary way. It's this or that, as I said.
5:49
But the truth is things are often non linear team.
5:53
They're non dual, they're non binary.
5:55
As we've seen. This is so true in medicine as
5:58
well. In western medicine, we think of
6:00
things through a reductionist lens, meaning we like to break
6:05
down systems into their individual parts and focus
6:09
solely on the tiny individual parts of a whole.
6:13
We've seen that in Western medicine for the last 7 decades
6:17
versus Eastern medicine where we look at the whole, we see things
6:21
from a holistic perspective. We look at the entire being and
6:26
the interplay of all of the systems.
6:28
And I'm not here to say what the right way is.
6:32
My experiences and what makes most sense to me is to
6:36
acknowledge that God, there's just a lot of Gray in the world
6:39
that we ask to be black and white.
6:41
There is a lot of Gray and so when I'm thinking about this
6:45
issue of how do I view circumstances going on in my
6:49
life, how do I look at the circumstances or the situations
6:53
that are happening in the world? I find this question to be more
6:56
helpful. Where in the spectrum do I need
6:59
to be? Where on this spectrum do I need
7:02
to be in terms of discipline or self compassion?
7:06
Where on the spectrum do I need to be striving or surrendering?
7:10
Do I need to be efforting or resting, being driven or being
7:15
relaxed, being caring but also being detached, Finding my
7:20
intensity but also finding my joy?
7:24
Where on the spectrum do I need to be in terms of those things?
7:28
Because what I've observed and what I continue to learn and
7:30
witness is that the best of the best have both.
7:34
They have the ability to embrace the yin and the Yang and
7:37
understand that within one there is always a seed of another.
7:43
You are kind to yourself, but you're also a disciplined
7:46
badass. You are intense in what you love
7:52
in your work, but you're also joyful in your life.
7:55
You put out extreme effort in your pursuits, but you also take
8:00
good care to rest and recover from those pursuits.
8:05
People don't like that it's not this or that, and it's actually
8:09
this and that. But as you pursue mastery in
8:13
things and you spend a lot of time in whatever that endeavor
8:16
might be, you start to realize this for yourself.
8:19
Oh, it's not black or white, It's actually this and that.
8:23
There's a yin and Yang to everything.
8:26
There's an interdependence and an interconnectedness that
8:29
exists here. I'll give you an example.
8:32
In acupuncture, you have to have a light touch, but you also have
8:37
to be firm. Most beginner acupuncturists
8:39
really struggle with this. Either they press too hard when
8:42
they're inserting needles and it's uncomfortable, or their
8:46
touch is too light and the needle feels sharp.
8:49
There is a balance between light and firm that is kind of the
8:52
sweet spot for the nervous system.
8:54
So the pressure isn't too hard, but you don't feel the needle
8:57
going in. It's really important, and that
9:00
might not make sense to someone who's never put a needle in
9:03
someone's skin, but after hours and hours of racticing the
9:06
insertion of needles, you know exactly what I mean.
9:10
The same thing happened to me when I was first starting to
9:12
ractice guitar. It struck me how firmly you have
9:16
to push down on the strings. If you don't, you get this
9:20
reverberation on the string. It's not a clear and strong
9:23
note. It kind of sounds like crap.
9:25
But as I got more practiced, I realized, yes, I have to be
9:28
firm, but I also have to have a lightness to my fingers so that
9:33
the notes flow and they don't sound clunky.
9:35
And in the beginning, I thought, how in the world do you play
9:38
firm but light? And as you practice more, you
9:41
start to get the balance of that, the spectrum of it.
9:44
And that's the duality of things.
9:47
You can think about this on a larger scale also in
9:50
relationships to be firm in your beliefs and your boundaries for
9:53
yourself, but also compassionate and generous with your partner.
9:58
And I find this to be very true with parenting as well.
10:00
There is so much Gray area in parenting and it's very helpful
10:04
to ask yourself, where do I need to be on the spectrum right now?
10:08
Do I need to be very firm or I do I need to be more
10:11
compassionate and generous and curious with my kid?
10:15
Elite athletes know this spectrum extremely well.
10:19
To have discipline but also self compassion is a skill.
10:23
To strive but also surrender to the outcomes, that's a skill.
10:28
To put forth extreme effort, as elite athletes do, or elite
10:32
triathletes or Olympians, But they also know when to rest.
10:37
That is a skill. If they weren't masters of this,
10:40
of the yin and the Yang of the Gray area, they wouldn't be able
10:43
to keep going. They would either push so hard
10:46
they'd hurt themselves, or they would be too laissez faire,
10:51
they'd be too easygoing, and they'd never get to that elite
10:54
level that they needed to be at to win.
10:57
So in a world where there's a lot of black and white right
11:01
now, there's a lot of duality, a lot of this or that, I challenge
11:06
you to think differently, to ask a different question and just
11:10
allow yourself to venture into the Gray a little bit.
11:12
Ask where am I on the spectrum right now and where do I need to
11:17
be? Because the all or nothing black
11:21
or white thinking doesn't always serve us.
11:24
It limits our possibilities and it limits our ability to grow.
11:29
It is our classic western world struggle with duality and I want
11:33
us to challenge that and be open to all the information that lies
11:39
in the Gray. I hope this topic spurs on some
11:43
insights for you and I hope you find it a little easier this
11:46
week to exist in the Gray and acknowledge the yin and the Yang
11:49
that is all around us. Thank you for listening and for
11:52
being here. And as always team, thank you
11:54
for being ready to Impact. Thanks for listening to Impact
11:58
Ready. I hope today's episode inspired
12:00
you to own your impact and recognize that you are powerful.
12:04
By elevating our energy and awareness, we can create
12:07
exponential change in this life. If you enjoyed today's insights,
12:10
share them with a friend and subscribe to the show for more.
12:13
I truly appreciate you. Thanks again for being here.