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Where People Hate Talking · I Hate Talking

• 0:30
  I Hate Talking: Alright, and we are back for episode 3 of I Hate Talking and uh just like always, uh, we are going to start out with a word of the day or phrase of the episode, and today's word or phrase of the episode is homonm and that is something that we started getting into a little bit last episode when we were talking about ant or ant.
• 0:55
  I Hate Talking: So homonym is a word that is in some form or fashion the same as another word.
• 1:03
  I Hate Talking: And in this case, it's a word that sounds the same, but is spelled differently.
• 1:11
  I Hate Talking: There's also A homophone and a homograph, uh, which are subcategories of homonyms.
• 1:20
  I Hate Talking: Mhm.
• 1:22
  I Hate Talking: So a homonym uh also could be like lie and lie where it's an untruth or if you're reclining, uh, so that would be a both homophone and ham a graph because it's both the same spelling, so it looks the same as well as the same pronunciation, so it sounds the same.
• 1:47
  I Hate Talking: Would you count that if it's the same spelling different?
• 1:52
  I Hate Talking: Pronunciation like read and red.
• 1:57
  I Hate Talking: So read and red are still a homonym because it would be a homograph because they look the same READ and READ reed and read, or are you talking about the color?
• 2:11
  I Hate Talking: No, I'm talking about, like, I read this book.
• 2:17
  I Hate Talking: Or we will read this book.
• 2:20
  I Hate Talking: Yep, so that would be still a homonym.
• 2:22
  I Hate Talking: Because it.
• 2:25
  I Hate Talking: Looks the same But it does get into a more specific category of a Heteronym, because it looks the same, which would be a homograph, but it has different pronunciations and even different meanings.
• 2:44
  I Hate Talking: So another example of that would be.
• 2:46
  I Hate Talking: Desert, like the arid region or dessert, like if you were to leave uh a particular uh group.
• 2:57
  I Hate Talking: Oh, or I, as you are hearing that, I heard something different.
• 3:01
  I Hate Talking: I heard Dessert like ooh, ice cream.
• 3:05
  I Hate Talking: I know the difference between dessert and dessert.
• 3:08
  I Hate Talking: Because dessert, you always want double love.
• 3:12
  I Hate Talking: And that would be the two S's, which is a good example of a heterograph where it has a different spelling and a different meaning, uh, but it still actually could be a Homophone and a hetergraph at the same time, so that would be like our example in.
• 3:31
  I Hate Talking: Dessert where you leave or dessert where you are gonna enjoy a tasty treat.
• 3:37
  I Hate Talking: Uh, another example of that would be the word to or to, where the number 2, or if you're going to somewhere, uh, so that's a header graph that has different spellings, but it's still a homophone because it sounds the same.
• 3:54
  I Hate Talking: I feel so bad for people that learn English as a second language.
• 3:58
  I Hate Talking: Yes, English is very fun.
• 4:00
  I Hate Talking: Uh, so, another thing that you can consider is synonyms or antonyms.
• 4:07
  I Hate Talking: Uh, so actually, I guess in a sense, a hetergraph and a homophone are synonyms, and a heteronym and a homophone are synonyms.
• 4:17
  I Hate Talking: It's interesting.
• 4:20
  I Hate Talking: That is interesting, but I think we can all be thankful that uh there's no such thing as an uncle Nim.
• 4:29
  I Hate Talking: Alright, so we are gonna get into the topic of this episode and we are gonna be talking uh on a continuation of our who, what, where, when and why, uh, so in episode 3, we're gonna be talking about where people hate talking.
• 4:48
  I Hate Talking: So where are some places that people may hate talking?
• 4:54
  I Hate Talking: Oh, Personally, I definitely hate talking in lines.
• 5:04
  I Hate Talking: Maybe when the checkout person is trying to have a conversation, and I just want to get my stuff and go home.
• 5:11
  I Hate Talking: Or maybe I'm in a line to try to get something and we start chit chatting small talk.
• 5:17
  I Hate Talking: With the person behind me, I would rather just get my items and leave.
• 5:25
  I Hate Talking: And that would be where I instantly go to, I don't want to talk here.
• 5:31
  I Hate Talking: That's interesting, so it goes back to even some of those topics that 1 may hate talking about is some of those surface level topics like the weather or just those niceties that exist in terms of how to be polite in conversation.
• 5:47
  I Hate Talking: It's almost a cultural expectation that uh we talk within these social settings of waiting in line or some particular setting where Uh, we may have a shared experience of delay or something of that nature.
• 6:03
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, and um.
• 6:06
  I Hate Talking: In our marriage, we've lived in several different states, moved around the country.
• 6:12
  I Hate Talking: And I haven't noticed regionally how different.
• 6:17
  I Hate Talking: Um, some cultures are, some areas, and how the cashier maybe will be very chatty about what I'm buying or asking how I'm doing today.
• 6:28
  I Hate Talking: Where, where I grew up, it was very transactual.
• 6:32
  I Hate Talking: Here's your item, pay for it, and leave.
• 6:35
  I Hate Talking: So I had a hard time in some of the cultures we've come from or lived in.
• 6:40
  I Hate Talking: Um, being respectful and slowing down.
• 6:46
  I Hate Talking: And having these conversations with them.
• 6:48
  I Hate Talking: When that was not how I was raised.
• 6:52
  I Hate Talking: And then I think I actually have somewhat the opposite experience because in a lot of those social settings, it is going to be talking to the person and then in all likelihood I will never see or talk to that person again or if we somehow encounter one another again, uh, it's more than likely we won't even remember previous conversations, uh, and I think that also goes back to the control factor.
• 7:19
  I Hate Talking: That we talked about in the very first episode where uh perhaps my personality is going to be more focused on uh making sure that the conversation is uh handled appropriately and and has a good outcome, uh, for those people that I am particular about and will have future conversations with.
• 7:41
  I Hate Talking: -- So -- that's super interesting.
• 7:42
  I Hate Talking: So you're saying as you're having these conversations, knowing you probably will not talk to them again.
• 7:47
  I Hate Talking: Or if you do, you won't remember it or they won't remember it.
• 7:51
  I Hate Talking: But you are trying to respect that moment.
• 7:54
  I Hate Talking: And value that person.
• 7:58
  I Hate Talking: Where I would come from the other side that we won't see each other again, we won't remember each other again.
• 8:05
  I Hate Talking: So let's get the business done.
• 8:07
  I Hate Talking: Yep, I think that's a very fair observation.
• 8:11
  I Hate Talking: Well, you sound much nicer.
• 8:13
  I Hate Talking: Well, there certainly are places that, uh, I hate talking.
• 8:16
  I Hate Talking: I think this may be some other places that uh a lot of people may hate talking.
• 8:20
  I Hate Talking: Is uh at bars or concerts where there is an actual physical limitation in terms of how you may be able to hear, just physically hear the person or how you may be able to understand them just because of the lack of uh interaction both from a verbal as well as physical cue perspective.
• 8:45
  I Hate Talking: So would you suggest not even having conversations then, as you're having a hard time hearing them?
• 8:52
  I Hate Talking: Or is that a more personal preference?
• 8:56
  I Hate Talking: So that would actually be a scenario where if there's somebody that is just an acquaintance or somebody that I've just met that I will put less emphasis on trying to carry on that conversation, whereas if it's somebody that's actually present with me that I care about or that I want to actually have that conversation with that, I will be more invested in putting forth the effort to have that conversation in a noisy or distracting environment.
• 9:26
  I Hate Talking: So, it sounds almost like it bleeds into who you're with.
• 9:31
  I Hate Talking: Cause I know personally, as we're in groups.
• 9:35
  I Hate Talking: If you and I are out on a date, we've paid for a babysitter.
• 9:39
  I Hate Talking: Um, I value that time a lot cause we don't get that often.
• 9:44
  I Hate Talking: It's expensive cause we're at a date and a babysitter with all our kids.
• 9:49
  I Hate Talking: So, when other people have conversations with us, they get frustrated because I feel like they're intruding on our time.
• 9:56
  I Hate Talking: But if I'm out with a friend.
• 9:58
  I Hate Talking: And they come, another friend comes up and chats.
• 10:02
  I Hate Talking: That's not necessarily intruding.
• 10:04
  I Hate Talking: And it could be, but it's not necessarily intruding on our time, it is um.
• 10:11
  I Hate Talking: Investing in these relationships and getting to know the person.
• 10:15
  I Hate Talking: Yes, so I think when it all comes down to it, it does go back to the root of where we are placing our value in terms of both our own comfort as well as the perceived value that we are either investing or receiving from other people that we may hate talking to.
• 10:35
  I Hate Talking: So would it be I'm trying to think of how you would word it, where the, um, your example of the concert.
• 10:44
  I Hate Talking: If your value is you're at this concert to listen this musician.
• 10:48
  I Hate Talking: You might not want other people having a conversation about their albums or somebody else's similar album that just released.
• 10:59
  I Hate Talking: Because you're wanting to listen to the musician.
• 11:01
  I Hate Talking: Or is that completely subjective based on?
• 11:06
  I Hate Talking: Your personality and your values.
• 11:10
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, there's an interesting nuance there because what I was originally describing is just the fact that having a conversation in a loud and distracting environment is just in and of itself difficult, so therefore there may be people that hate talking in those environments.
• 11:29
  I Hate Talking: But I think what you were just hitting on is that there's also that intrinsic value on the time that I'm spending, whether the focus is on the concert and the music and the musician that's playing or if I am in some way valuing the conversation that I'm having with the person because I'm learning something new about another artist or something else uh related to maybe even the album of the musicians that's playing.
• 11:55
  I Hate Talking: That makes sense.
• 11:56
  I Hate Talking: And I think the thought of like where you put a value, if it's on the musician we're listening to or the date night versus maybe the broader question of where.
• 12:05
  I Hate Talking: Which is what we started with, and like, are you thinking where it's socially appropriate or inappropriate?
• 12:12
  I Hate Talking: Like there are some places when you're in the bathroom.
• 12:15
  I Hate Talking: Not not necessarily socially appropriate to have a deep conversation with the person in the stall aside you.
• 12:21
  I Hate Talking: So that's an interesting concept, uh, because I think in the men's room, sometimes that is socially acceptable.
• 12:29
  I Hate Talking: Is that different in the women's room?
• 12:32
  I Hate Talking: So you have deep conversations with Your friends or with strangers?
• 12:37
  I Hate Talking: I didn't know this.
• 12:40
  I Hate Talking: So it's an interesting category uh of whether it's a deep conversation.
• 12:45
  I Hate Talking: I would maybe categorize it uh as either a serious or non-serious conversation right where the maybe a non-serious conversation is about the weather or plans that you might have for later in the day, uh, whereas you might have a serious conversation, especially in the workplace related to maybe a meeting that you just got out of or Uh, a particular subject that uh is a hot topic within the workplace, uh, and those things can happen in the men's room.
• 13:15
  I Hate Talking: I don't think I knew that.
• 13:17
  I Hate Talking: I thought socially.
• 13:19
  I Hate Talking: I feel like every time I've Heard it.
• 13:22
  I Hate Talking: The men are very silent and quiet, where women go to the bathroom in groups and they chit chat.
• 13:28
  I Hate Talking: As peers, if I'm with a friend in the bathroom, we will continue our conversation, we don't stop.
• 13:36
  I Hate Talking: Um, I will not have a conversation with somebody I don't know unless it's them asking for toilet paper or maybe my some kid crawled underneath the stall, and we have to talk about that to the other mom.
• 13:51
  I Hate Talking: Um, there's been one time anecdotally that we were at a bar.
• 13:56
  I Hate Talking: Early on in our marriage and.
• 14:00
  I Hate Talking: Um, some lady asked me to look at the stick that she had used in the bathroom to tell me if she was pregnant or not.
• 14:08
  I Hate Talking: And so I got to relay that message to her, a complete stranger in a bar.
• 14:12
  I Hate Talking: And that was very difficult and uncomfortable.
• 14:17
  I Hate Talking: To tell her congratulations, you're pregnant.
• 14:21
  I Hate Talking: That certainly sounds like a serious conversation.
• 14:23
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, I don't know what ever happened to her.
• 14:25
  I Hate Talking: That was the only conversation I ever had, and I passed the stick back to her.
• 14:29
  I Hate Talking: And when you do have those conversations in the bathroom, uh, at least for me personally, right, you always do the sideways glance to see who else might be in the restroom and if any stalls are occupied, and then that also will therefore direct the conversation or even if you have a conversation at all in case there are some anonymous listening ears.
• 14:51
  I Hate Talking: Hm.
• 14:52
  I Hate Talking: Like, who would you be afraid is listening to your bathroom stall conversations?
• 14:58
  I Hate Talking: Or, second question, what are you discussing with these people in the bathrooms?
• 15:03
  I Hate Talking: Well, I guess, uh, would just be concerned that there may be uh someone that has a differing opinion on the maybe the the hot topic that we're talking about and uh it, it really is just whatever the the topics are of the day or even of the hour, uh, that may come up just because you're maybe continuing conversations uh right after a meeting, right?
• 15:28
  I Hate Talking: I think one of the side effects of everybody.
• 15:31
  I Hate Talking: Meeting on a conference call and being on there for, you know, 30, 60, 90 minutes is as soon as the same people hang up on that call, the, uh, nature calls.
• 15:43
  I Hate Talking: OK, that makes sense.
• 15:46
  I Hate Talking: I can get that.
• 15:46
  I Hate Talking: I quit the workforce before Zoom.
• 15:50
  I Hate Talking: And conference calls became a norm, which I feel like they are now.
• 15:55
  I Hate Talking: So I didn't in my workforce experience didn't necessarily have the, we finished the call.
• 16:01
  I Hate Talking: Now I have to use the restroom.
• 16:04
  I Hate Talking: Where, but I did experience in my workforce.
• 16:08
  I Hate Talking: I shared an office, a private office with one other individual.
• 16:12
  I Hate Talking: And so we would be on calls or meetings and we'd retreat to our office, and we would have a conversation in there that we did not necessarily have.
• 16:24
  I Hate Talking: In the meeting or just continuing on thoughts from the meeting.
• 16:30
  I Hate Talking: Um, that would have been hindered had other been people been around.
• 16:34
  I Hate Talking: Well, there you have it.
• 16:36
  I Hate Talking: We have another location that we've learned something new about in terms of maybe some people hating to have conversations in the restroom and other times, uh, it can be quite enjoyable.
• 16:47
  I Hate Talking: Nowadays, where I am in life, um, I do not enjoy conversations.
• 16:53
  I Hate Talking: I have a lot of young kids, and so my conversations are usually about bathroom etiquette, not opening the door when you're not ready.
• 17:02
  I Hate Talking: And not crawling under any stall, do not touch things in the bathroom.
• 17:07
  I Hate Talking: Uh, it is interesting to hear from you, who has a different Um Life, work life, and you're around more adults.
• 17:18
  I Hate Talking: I doubt you're asking the adults not to touch things in the bathroom.
• 17:22
  I Hate Talking: That is true.
• 17:24
  I Hate Talking: Though I have seen my instances of people that don't wash their hands, and it's just, uh, something that again, but you wouldn't would you call them out on it?
• 17:34
  I Hate Talking: Are there appropriate times that you do?
• 17:38
  I Hate Talking: I'd have to think about that a little bit, but I would definitely put that in the category of something that I would hate to talk to that person about.
• 17:45
  I Hate Talking: The best part of my life right now.
• 17:49
  I Hate Talking: Is that if I saw that, which I have, I'm able to Roundabout shame by saying we always wash our hands after we go to the bathroom, knowing they hear it.
• 18:02
  I Hate Talking: Without actually saying their name or calling them out on it.
• 18:06
  I Hate Talking: There you go.
• 18:09
  I Hate Talking: All right, well, one other place that uh I think we may all agree that people hate talking at is court.
• 18:18
  I Hate Talking: I imagine.
• 18:20
  I Hate Talking: I've never been So I think if you are either in the witness box, uh, you're gonna perhaps uh hate talking about what you may have witnessed, uh, if you're in the jury box, I think you are going to potentially hate talking in front of all the audience and the judge.
• 18:41
  I Hate Talking: And, uh, certainly if you're the accused, I think you're going to even, uh, hate talking during uh any.
• 18:48
  I Hate Talking: Part of uh any time you have to give your testimony.
• 18:52
  I Hate Talking: So I think perhaps in court, maybe the only people that don't hate talking are the people that are paid to be there, the lawyers, the expert witnesses, and the judge.
• 19:04
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, I can definitely see that, um, cause they'd have positive reasons to be talking.
• 19:11
  I Hate Talking: They're not personally being impacted.
• 19:14
  I Hate Talking: They're not gonna be in jail, potentially, from what they say or do in that court, for everybody else.
• 19:23
  I Hate Talking: Their stakes seem much higher.
• 19:25
  I Hate Talking: And just a salary.
• 19:27
  I Hate Talking: But as someone, as you've always, you've never been on a juror, but I know that's like a personal goal for you.
• 19:35
  I Hate Talking: Uh, do you think that you're gonna hate it if you ever do get put on a jury?
• 19:40
  I Hate Talking: I could potentially dislike maybe being elected as foreman of the jury, uh, because that I probably would somehow arrive at that role, so, um, instantly, but, uh, in that case, perhaps I would not hate talking in court.
• 20:00
  I Hate Talking: Lots to think about.
• 20:01
  I Hate Talking: All right, well, from your friends at I hate talking until next time, remember, it is only through talking that we begin the journey to understanding.