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How Do You Answer “How Are You Doing”? · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:04
  Kelly Hatfield: We believe life is precious. This is it. We've
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  got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to
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  maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our
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  full potential.
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  John Mitchell: Are you living up to your potential? Are you
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  frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't
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  seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next
• 0:27
  level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.
• 0:32
  Kelly Hatfield: If this is hitting home, you're in the
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  right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional
• 0:38
  life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher
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  level. So you're playing at your full potential, rather than at a
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  fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that
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  once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you
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  learn it, watch what happens. Welcome to think at the at the
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  podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.
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  John Mitchell: Hey. And I'm John Michell. So Kelly, here's the
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  topic today. How do people respond? When they're asked? How
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  are you doing? Now? How when somebody says to you, Kelly, how
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  are you doing? How do you respond to that tip,
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  Kelly Hatfield: I either I either say fantastic. Or I say
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  outstanding, or it's something along those lines. i Oh, that's
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  always my like, go to response.
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  John Mitchell: And why do you do it that way? Is there any
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  thought to it really,
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  Kelly Hatfield: there is? Because I think that for a
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  couple of different there's a few different thoughts. But this
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  really is an exchange of energy. Yeah. And it is aligned with
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  when I think about my words, for how I'm going to show up. And
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  one of those words is inspiring. You don't inspire people by when
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  they ask you how you're doing. You're like fine.
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  Unknown: Yeah. Yeah. Right.
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  Kelly Hatfield: You know what I mean? So those two things aren't
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  in alignment with one another. So immediately, I'm going to be
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  outstanding or fantastic. Because one of my intentions is
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  to inspire people. The other thing is for me, like, I need
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  that kind of positive energy and to speak that out into the
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  world. And so, yeah, that's that's why that's my response.
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  It's kind of to twofold.
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  John Mitchell: Right? Well, you know, I think you hit on what I
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  was thinking about that. It, you know, you're influencing the
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  other person, but you're also at the same time influencing you.
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  And, you know, when I, when I swipe asked me, I'm either, hey,
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  I'm living the dream, or I'm, hey, life is good. Or maybe it's
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  excellent. But I'm like, just like you that very positive
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  thing. And as we probably talked about in the prior episode, you
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  know, what you say out loud as 10 times the effect of what you
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  think. So when you say I'm excellent. You know, that has
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  1010 times the impact of you just thinking that you're
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  excellent. You know,
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  Kelly Hatfield: well, it's really interesting. John, I,
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  there is a influencer that I follow in His name is Chad,
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  right. And he's a seal. He's a former Navy SEAL. Special teams
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  not
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  John Mitchell: actually a seal. Nope. He's a human.
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  Kelly Hatfield: He's a human. Okay. And he's on the elite, you
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  know, he was in the elite seal. And I can't remember which, you
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  know, I'm not sure what they call them, but which group you
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  belong to. But he was a Navy Seal and the elite Elite. And
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  now that he is retired, he runs the ultra marathons, you know,
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  the ones that go on for 100 miles and several days. And
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  you've I mean, it's hard core stuff that he and he talked
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  about this very topic, and it wasn't necessarily and he, he
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  frames it for when people ask you how you respond, and his
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  response is always I feel outstanding, but also while he
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  is on that run, and on mile 52. He's saying to himself, I feel
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  outstanding, I feel out because he knows through his experience
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  that you know, when you are in SEAL training, you know, and
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  where most of the people wash out, is from mindset, when
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  they're saying to themselves, Oh, it's so cold. This is so
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  hard. I feel awful. This is like, you know, that self talk,
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  whether it's verbalized, or whether it's internally, what's
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  going on with your head will determine what your results are.
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  So when he's on those runs, and he's like, I feel outstanding,
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  even though his shins are bloody and raw, you know, he fell on
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  mile 48 in his, you know, road rash all over on the right is a
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  saying I feel outstanding. And it's how he finishes the racist.
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  He said the minute that your mind you switch your mind to
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  say, Oh, this is terrible. This is your you've just lost. Right?
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  You know and I've and so I take that and and you know to exactly
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  what it is we're talking about. It's the same thing words matter
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  what you say to yourself matters what you vocalize matters. And
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  it's it's that exchange of energy. So anyway, wanted to
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  share that story, because it's that when we brought this topic
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  up today, that's the first thing that popped into my head was
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  what Chad says,
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  John Mitchell: right? You know, I a few years ago, many years
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  ago, I got to know Jimmie Johnson, the football coach for
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  the Cowboys. And he had this great line, he says let the mind
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  control the body rather than the body control the mind, which is
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  exactly what you're talking about. And the you know, the
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  other thing, I think that's interesting about this, how you
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  respond to how are you doing? The vast majority 98% of people
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  are just reacting with fine. I mean, I bet I mean, literally
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  the word fine. Is said 98% of the time, but observe with
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  people, and I say this to the audience observe to people that
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  you meet how they respond to it, do they really respond to your
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  question? Or is are they giving you a reflex? Answer? And, and I
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  know, as our audience starts to think about this, and the thing
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  I would suggest that they do is figure out a basically no, no
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  longer than a three word phrase in terms of, you know how you're
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  doing, you know, aka like you do it. You can say excellent, or
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  like I do live in the dream, or you know, life is good, you
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  know, whatever it is, but be intentional about it. And what
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  will happen is first few times you do it, you'll screw it up,
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  you'll you'll say I'm fine. And then you go Oh, damn. But it's
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  such a it's such a powerful thing. And and really like you
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  say you said it really well. This is an exchange of energy.
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  And and you're trying to influence not only not only that
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  other person with your exchange of energy, energy, but you're
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  influencing yourself with your own exchange of energy.
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  Kelly Hatfield: And percent. Oh, sorry. Good, no good.
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  John Mitchell: Well, the only other thing I was gonna say is,
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  you know, I had a, I did a zoom call with three people that are
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  doing, think it be it and it was interesting, because she had one
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  of them comes on I go, Well, how are you doing? He goes, Oh, I'm
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  doing great. I'm so looking forward to this, you know, all
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  feel good. And then another one comes on and, and basically says
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  the same thing says, Boy, you know, I I'm having a great day.
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  And I've been looking forward to this. And then the third one
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  goes fine. You know, just it's so simple. And but with the tone
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  that she she gave it, you're like, Whoa, there's a whole lot
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  there in that. And that's fine. I just found that that
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  interesting. What were you gonna say? I'm gonna go?
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  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, I was gonna say two things. So think
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  about that, like, so. I'm going to think about it in terms of
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  interviewing. You know, so when you're looking at candidates,
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  when you're looking to add people to your team, you know,
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  those are some of the things that you want to be looking for,
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  you know, if they say that, like one of my rules is I only hire
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  happy people. Yeah, yeah, I want I want up positive energy.
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  Again, it's an exchange of energy, I can train anything.
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  But But I can't train positivity and an optimistic outlook and I
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  you know, that I can figure it out kind of attitude. And so
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  I've looked for how somebody answers that question. And, you
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  know, because it all kind of, you know, builds on it. But what
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  I was gonna say to you was about, oh, shoot, I lost my
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  train of thought. Dang, you know,
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  John Mitchell: maybe I'll come to you. But guess what you said
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  that. That's interesting. I watched Darren Hardy last week,
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  and he's talking about going to I think it was a Marriott Hotel.
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  And he was going to talk with the CEO the next day and so he
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  he is so impressed by the how people are so on being friendly
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  and nice and everything. And he goes to the CEO the next day and
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  he goes, Man had a you train these people Well to
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  consistently be so nice. And he last the CEO last ago, what do
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  you mean train him, we hire him to be happy there, we only hire
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  happy people, we only hire friendly people. And I think
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  you've you, you get that? And you know now that that just as
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  an aside, I'm a big believer in hiring people with energy.
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  Because I saw in my past, I would sometimes hire people that
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  were good at what they did, but they had no energy. And like, I
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  suspect that's one of your key. Oh, yeah, Barbara is right.
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  Kelly Hatfield: And it's all that, to me, it's all goes hand
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  in hand. Like you can see somebody's energy when they say
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  I'm great, thanks. Yeah, that I'm already starting to sense,
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  you know, kind of where their energy is, where their attitude
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  is, and where their energy is, you know, because into it's
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  what's behind because you can say, I'm great. You know, or you
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  can say, I'm great, thanks. You know, right there, you're saying
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  the same thing. But you're saying it in a different way.
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  And it expresses a different level of energy than the other?
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  You know, so you're looking for those little nuances during that
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  process, because it's really critical. But I remembered what
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  I was going to say, John, I had a question for you. There are
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  people who are listening. And I know because I get pushback on
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  this is, what if I don't feel fantastic? Or outstanding? Or
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  that kind of live in the dream? So I I'm not authentic? And
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  don't answer that, you know, like, so what do you say to
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  somebody who may be thinking that like, My life isn't great.
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  It's not outstanding, I'm not living the dream? How should I
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  answer that question? If none of those things apply to me,
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  John Mitchell: I tell them, it is great, you're alive. Right?
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  You're healthy, right? You know, I, you know, I tell you, I've
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  been thinking about this a lot lately. You know, life is a
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  state of mind. And, and sure, there's going to be, you know,
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  days where you're not the top of your game, but that's not going
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  to stop me from answering, I'm living the dream, because I'm
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  freaking live in the dream every day. And, you know, our audience
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  is, is, let's say they choose to say, excellent. Well, they are
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  excellent overall. And if if it's not excellent, go fix it.
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  You know, go, you know, that doesn't mean that, that you're a
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  year from now gonna be living in a, you know, multimillion dollar
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  house. But but, you know, figure out intellectually, what you got
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  to do to make your life. Excellent. And start on that
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  path to making it excellent. And when people ask you how you're
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  doing, you go, excellent. Yeah, pretty
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  Kelly Hatfield: simple. Pretty simple. And I think two other
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  things to just add to that really quick, are, we talked
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  about perspective, and our last episode, that a lot, yes, with.
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  The other piece, is also gratitude. You know, just
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  sitting down and thinking about all of the things the fact that
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  you've got a roof over your head, the fact that you've got
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  food in your refrigerator, the fact that you like, we begin to
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  think about like you have all of if you do have all of your your
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  senses, the ability to walk, like so, like start thinking
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  about all of the things that we take for granted, to be grateful
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  for those things, and then things that the next level of
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  gratitude, but, and then you'll begin to go Oh, yeah, things are
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  pretty excellent, you know, or, um, so there are a couple of
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  things where you can shift your your mindset into that mode. But
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  I know there are those people who are like, well, if I don't
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  feel that way, I'm not going to say that. And I love Your
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  responses will like figure out a way to feel that way.
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  John Mitchell: Yeah, right. Yeah. No, I'm glad you mentioned
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  that perspective thing. And, you know, it's interesting, I went,
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  I guess it's Saturday, and we I go, and I have margaritas with
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  my couple of my old neighbors. And it's interesting. They have
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  gotten a divorce they were the first people I met when I came
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  to Austin and we were best friends and they lived two doors
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  down for like six years and every night it was a happy hour
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  you know, we were just and and but they had a horrible marriage
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  so that last year they get a divorce and so but I'm still
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  friends with both of them. So I go in and have margaritas with
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  both of them. And there's this girl that now has become Dylan's
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  really good friend and and you know she's very attractive girl
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  and of course I'm always trying to get people to find their
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  their perfect relationship and if they're in in a relationship
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  make it better if they're not in one, go find one. So that's, you
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  know, because I see how impactful being married to the
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  ginger has been for me, and I want everybody to have that but
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  anyways, I'm talking to her. And and I think this is true with a
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  lot of people. She's she's talking about how this happened
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  in the past and that's not good. Good. And he focused on on how
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  she was hurt in a prior relationship. And I'm like, I
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  didn't say this, but I'm like, stop it. You know, if if you had
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  a bad relationship or something happened in the past, yeah, I
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  spent about 20 minutes and think about it and resolve it. But I
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  wouldn't spend, you know, two years in therapy, I'd spent
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  about 20 minutes in therapy, and, and resolve it to the best
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  of your ability, and then let go of it Gee, so you think you're
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  gonna change the past?
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  Kelly Hatfield: One? No, doesn't work that way. I love the
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  analogy of the car. And looking at, you know, when you're
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  driving your vehicle, if you're just looking in the rearview
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  mirror, how much progress do you think you're gonna make, you're
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  gonna crash pretty quick, you know, all the action is
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  happening out in the wide lens that you've got in the
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  windshield that you're looking through forward. But you do need
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  to keep checking your back mirror real quick, you know, to
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  keep it to take, you know, to learn to grow back kind of
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  thing, but moving forward, looking through the windshield
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  forward versus always looking in your rearview mirror and
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  backwards, you know, right. So, anyway? Well, I
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  John Mitchell: think I think the summary to this is that life is
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  a state of mind and how you answer that question that you're
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  probably asked every day, how are you doing? Think about how
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  you ideally want to answer that and condition yourself to answer
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  it the way you want to. And you know, one other thing, I have
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  two quick things. You know, at the intro of our podcast, it
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  talks about when we were when we learned that one thing, our
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  lives for transformed forever. every once awhile, I like to
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  articulate what that one thing is. And what it is, is we
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  learned that 95% of our daily actions are unconscious 95% of
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  our daily actions are unconscious. And and once we
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  learn that, and learn how to influence those 95% unconscious
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  daily actions, then our lives were transformed, because we
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  started playing the game of life at 100% instead of 10, to 20%.
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  And so, so just to put that out there for everybody to every
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  once awhile to understand what we're talking about when that
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  when that comes on. But the other thing I was gonna say is,
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  you know, a couple of episodes ago, I implored our audience to
• 17:27
  reach out and send us an email just just to let us know that
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  you're there. And surprisingly, I had, you know, I had a
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  response and so And like I told you, our podcast person that
• 17:43
  helps us with this says that we got a lot of people listening
• 17:47
  way more than I thought. And, and but I see that we live in
• 17:53
  such a shallow thinking, existence today because of this
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  flip through culture that people just they don't connect they if
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  they're maybe listening to podcasts, they don't want to
• 18:08
  connect. And but I you know, I think it's I think it's cool
• 18:13
  even I am God knows we're not trying to sell anybody, anything
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  we really aren't. So but I there's there's something to it
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  that if you're listening to this, really send Kelly or me an
• 18:27
  email at John at think via.com or Kelly at think via.com And
• 18:32
  just say hi. And because it reinforces what we're doing,
• 18:37
  we'd like to get it and we'll probably ask you what you you do
• 18:41
  and again, not to sell you and not to take you down some
• 18:45
  funnel, you know, just know funnel, we funnel. This is a no
• 18:50
  funnel zone. But I encourage you to do that. So until next time,
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  we'll say
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  Kelly Hatfield: thanks for listening today. If you've had
• 19:03
  your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an
• 19:08
  email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So
• 19:13
  email us at Kelly@thinkitbeit.com or
• 19:15
  John@thinkitbeit.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life