Latest / INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living / Gifts to Give the Family │ Msg 1012 - Pastor Chuck Swindoll Insight for Living

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Gifts to Give the Family │ Msg 1012 - Pastor Chuck Swindoll Insight for Living · INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living

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  Speaker 1: Suppose you have a Christian friend who has left God's
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  Speaker 1: path to walk in the ways of the world.
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  Speaker 2: No longer attending church.
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  Speaker 1: This person is closing off spiritual things and neglecting family responsibilities.
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  Speaker 1: Your initial thought is, probably I should admonish my friend.
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  Speaker 1: And yet when you meet with this person, you hear
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  Speaker 1: a story of heartache and frustration, maybe even disillusionment, and
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  Speaker 1: you begin to think, no, I don't have a heart
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  Speaker 1: to admonish him. But what should I do?
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  Speaker 2: What do I do?
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  Speaker 1: Are your friend's actions a result of unruliness, faint heartedness, weakness,
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  Speaker 1: or maybe all three? Should you confront or should you console?
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  Speaker 1: Should you love? Be tender or tough? Those are hard questions,
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  Speaker 1: aren't they. If you're wrestling with these issues as they
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  Speaker 1: relate to someone about whom you care very much, you'll
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  Speaker 1: really appreciate Paul's words to the Thessalonians, even though they
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  Speaker 1: came way back in the first century. If you have
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  Speaker 1: a Bible, please turn with me to First Thessalonians, the
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  Speaker 1: last chapter, chapter five, and listen as I read for
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  Speaker 1: you verses twelve through fifteen. First Thessalonians five twelve through fifteen.
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  Speaker 1: But we request of you brethren, that you appreciate those
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  Speaker 1: who diligently labor among you and have charged over you
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  Speaker 1: in the Lord and give you instruction, and that you
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  Speaker 1: esteem them very highly in love because of their work.
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  Speaker 1: Live in peace with one another. We urge you, brethren,
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  Speaker 1: admonish the unruly, encourage the faint hearted, help the weak,
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  Speaker 1: be patient with everyone. See that no one repays another
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  Speaker 1: with evil for evil, but always seek after that which
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  Speaker 1: is good for one another and for all people.
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  Speaker 2: There is one season of the year and only one,
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  Speaker 2: where everyone seems to be thinking of someone else. It's remarkable.
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  Speaker 2: I have never seen anyone go into a Christmas shopping
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  Speaker 2: spree with a list of things just for himself. In fact,
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  Speaker 2: we seldom, if ever, by our own gift. And whether
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  Speaker 2: we are in the streets of Seattle or Minneapolis, Boston, Dallas, Atlanta,
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  Speaker 2: San Diego, or Phoenix, it's all the same scene. My
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  Speaker 2: travels have taken me to a couple of three of
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  Speaker 2: those cities I just named, and it's always interesting to
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  Speaker 2: see that life is really not that different there and
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  Speaker 2: it is here. They talk different there, but after a
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  Speaker 2: little time of language training, you can get along. Even
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  Speaker 2: in Atlanta, it's and I say that, I remind myself
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  Speaker 2: of the one of my all time favorite stories of
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  Speaker 2: a fellow who called me from Texas and he he said,
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  Speaker 2: you probably can't tell it, but I'm from Texas. I said,
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  Speaker 2: I can tell, I can tell, believe me. We talked
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  Speaker 2: for a while and I found out he went to
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  Speaker 2: school in Texas. And I said, where'd you go to school?
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  Speaker 2: He said, hard Pain. I said, Howard Pain. He said, no,
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  Speaker 2: Hard Pain. I said, oh, Howard Pain. What you made
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  Speaker 2: your rent? He said, speech.
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  Speaker 1: Speech.
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  Speaker 2: Well, it doesn't matter where you go, doesn't matter how
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  Speaker 2: you talk, doesn't matter where you live. The wonderful, marvelous
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  Speaker 2: thing about the Christmas season is it's a time in
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  Speaker 2: which folk think of others. I suppose that's the reason
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  Speaker 2: we all love it so much. And even though we
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  Speaker 2: may live miles from our own family members, it's a
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  Speaker 2: time of making contact, either by phone or usually by
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  Speaker 2: a gift. Webster says that a family is a group
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  Speaker 2: of people united by certain convictions. He also adds it
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  Speaker 2: is a group of persons of common ancestry, and also
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  Speaker 2: a group of individuals living under one roof, usually under
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  Speaker 2: one head. As I read that definition, I thought, that's
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  Speaker 2: true of the family of God. We are of similar convictions.
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  Speaker 2: We are occasionally under one roof, hopefully always under one head,
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  Speaker 2: and certainly of one ancestry. So it seemed reasonable that
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  Speaker 2: we think about gifts for the family. I I think
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  Speaker 2: it's very helpful for us, especially as the Christmas season
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  Speaker 2: arises arrives, to think about what we want to give
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  Speaker 2: one another. In fact, it is not only helpful, it
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  Speaker 2: is as God would have it. And the good thing
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  Speaker 2: about these gifts is that they are always in season,
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  Speaker 2: and they all come from within us us. All you
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  Speaker 2: have to wrap them in is your skin, and the
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  Speaker 2: gifts are appropriately available and how needed they are. Before
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  Speaker 2: we look at the list of gifts that God would
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  Speaker 2: have us give one another, I want to mention three
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  Speaker 2: or four qualities that I hope we'll never forget to
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  Speaker 2: wrap up inside our skin when we give gifts. First
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  Speaker 2: of all, we want to give gifts that last. We
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  Speaker 2: don't want trash gifts. We don't want gifts that wind
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  Speaker 2: up in the heap in a couple of weeks. We
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  Speaker 2: want permanence connected with our gifts. We want gifts that last.
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  Speaker 2: No quick and easy kind of gifts, but deep gifts.
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  Speaker 2: Gifts that last. Secondly, we want gifts that lift, that
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  Speaker 2: lift up one another. The New Testament term for it
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  Speaker 2: is edify. Gifts that really mean something to family members
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  Speaker 2: are gifts that lift up one another. So along with
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  Speaker 2: gifts that that last, let's give gifts that lift. Third,
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  Speaker 2: let's be sure that our gifts cost be honest. Now, ever,
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  Speaker 2: given somebody else a gift that had been given to
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  Speaker 2: you kind of tacky, But I suppose we've all done it,
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  Speaker 2: and we acted like it was something we labored over
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  Speaker 2: and bought with hard earned money. But we just gave
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  Speaker 2: it because we didn't need it or we didn't want it.
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  Speaker 2: No cost at all. Gifts that really mean something to
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  Speaker 2: the body, or gifts that are sacrificial, they require something
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  Speaker 2: expensive from us. Gifts are costly. And Fourth, we want
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  Speaker 2: to have the gifts that we give to glorify God.
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  Speaker 2: We want God to smile on the gift. Most of all,
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  Speaker 2: we want him to say, as we give the gift
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  Speaker 2: to our family member, I'm honored in that I'm exalted.
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  Speaker 2: Let's be sure the gifts we give last lift, that
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  Speaker 2: they're costly personally of cost to us, and that they
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  Speaker 2: honor our savior. Now, you might wonder what such a
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  Speaker 2: checklist is, and it's found in verses twelve through twenty
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  Speaker 2: two of First Thessalonians, Chapter five, And as is true
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  Speaker 2: of all shopping lists, it's not very creative. I've never
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  Speaker 2: known of anyone who went about Christmas shopping or grocery
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  Speaker 2: shopping creatively. Never seen anyone huh their way through a
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  Speaker 2: shopping list or sort of dance their way through a
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  Speaker 2: grocery list. You just kind of check them off one
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  Speaker 2: after another. So I confess I don't have a lot
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  Speaker 2: of creativity to offer, but I will promise you I'll
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  Speaker 2: do my best to be accurate, and we'll check them
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  Speaker 2: off exactly as they appear. In fact, we'll only get
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  Speaker 2: about halfway through. There are probably as many as fifteen
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  Speaker 2: in the list, and we only have time this time
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  Speaker 2: for about six or seven of them. But let me
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  Speaker 2: show you something about this list that God has drawn up,
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  Speaker 2: not how they are arranged. If you've got your Bible handy,
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  Speaker 2: look at First Thessalonians five twelve. But we request of
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  Speaker 2: you these are gifts that are kindly requested Verses twelve
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  Speaker 2: and thirteen. When you get to verse fourteen, the request
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  Speaker 2: changes to urgency, we urge you. So these are gifts
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  Speaker 2: that are urgently ne Now this isn't my own doing,
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  Speaker 2: this is right from God. He's put a list together
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  Speaker 2: that begins with some that are kindly requested. Second, there
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  Speaker 2: are some that are urgently needed. That's as far as
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  Speaker 2: we're going to be able to get. And then if
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  Speaker 2: you get down to verse sixteen, which we'll look at
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  Speaker 2: next time we were together, we get to words like
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  Speaker 2: rejoice always and pray without ceasing, and in everything give
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  Speaker 2: things verse twenty one, but examine everything carefully verse twenty two,
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  Speaker 2: avoid or abstain from every form of evil. These are
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  Speaker 2: gifts that are continually appropriate. They're continually appropriate. So this
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  Speaker 2: is kind of a built in outline. God has given
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  Speaker 2: us gifts that are kindly requested, gifts that are urgently needed,
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  Speaker 2: and then gifts that are continually appropriate. And remember they're
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  Speaker 2: all wrapped inside your skin and they're to fellow members
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  Speaker 2: of the family. Let's see how these gifts are revealed. First,
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  Speaker 2: there are things that are kindly requested verse twelve. But
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  Speaker 2: we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who
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  Speaker 2: diligently labor among you and have charge over you in
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  Speaker 2: the Lord and give you instruction, and that you esteem
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  Speaker 2: them very highly in love because of their work. The
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  Speaker 2: first gift mentioned is respect for those in leadership, and
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  Speaker 2: obviously this has reference to people who are in spiritual leadership.
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  Speaker 2: Reason I say that is because of verse twelve. They
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  Speaker 2: are the ones who diligently labor among us. They're the
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  Speaker 2: ones who have charge over us in the Lord. And third,
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  Speaker 2: they are the ones who give us spiritual instruction. See
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  Speaker 2: it right there in front of you. You want to
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  Speaker 2: know who your spiritual leaders are. Those who deserve your respect.
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  Speaker 2: They're the ones who diligently labor, who have a sense
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  Speaker 2: of accountability for your life before the Lord. And they're
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  Speaker 2: the ones who instruct you in the truths of Scripture.
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  Speaker 2: They may or may not be ordained. They may be
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  Speaker 2: a man or a woman. They may be older or younger.
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  Speaker 2: They may be people who faithfully instruct you in an
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  Speaker 2: adult fellowship or in one of your high school classes.
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  Speaker 2: They may be someone who is on your campus. They
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  Speaker 2: may be people who are faithfully voluntarily a part of
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  Speaker 2: your life, who receive no remuneration for what they do,
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  Speaker 2: but they do those things. They may be a pastor.
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  Speaker 2: They may be an associate pastor. They may be a
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  Speaker 2: music minister or whatever, but they qualify. Now, what are
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  Speaker 2: we to do with folks like that? Two things? Verse twelve,
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  Speaker 2: We are to appreciate them. There's a very interesting Greek word,
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  Speaker 2: and it's a general term that kind of leaves you flat.
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  Speaker 2: It means simply to know someone. But in the context
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  Speaker 2: of this verse, it's more than mere knowledge, knowing them
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  Speaker 2: as you see them in a crowd, or knowing their names,
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  Speaker 2: or knowing what their spiritual gifts may be, or knowing
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  Speaker 2: their academic background. It's more than that kind of knowledge.
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  Speaker 2: This is a context that means to know the worth
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  Speaker 2: of someone, to place a high value on someone. One
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  Speaker 2: man writes, it is thoughtful respect that Paul is advocating,
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  Speaker 2: A respect that requires thought as well as submission of
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  Speaker 2: the will. The kind of respectfulness that is advocated for
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  Speaker 2: people who have been set free from the obedience of tyranny.
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  Speaker 2: A respect that I have decided upon myself, not that
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  Speaker 2: which is forced upon me. That's why I began by saying,
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  Speaker 2: these are kindly requested. No one in this ministry, nor
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  Speaker 2: should anyone in any ministry, attempt to put your arm
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  Speaker 2: behind your back and force it up between your shoulder
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  Speaker 2: blades and say, now submit to those who are in authority.
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  Speaker 2: But it's kindly requested. Not only a appreciate them, but
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  Speaker 2: verse thirteen says esteem them highly, not because of their title,
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  Speaker 2: not because of their academic degree, not because of their age,
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  Speaker 2: or their experience, or their wisdom, which may on occasion
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  Speaker 2: flow from their lips. But look at how it reads.
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  Speaker 2: Esteem them very highly in love because of their work.
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  Speaker 2: I remember struggling in the Marines saluting certain officers that
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  Speaker 2: I knew didn't deserve the salute, and I was braced
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  Speaker 2: on more than one occasion to whip a salute because
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  Speaker 2: of rank, not because of character. In the family of God,
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  Speaker 2: there is to be if you please, a salute because
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  Speaker 2: of the work certain individuals have undertaken. This past week,
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  Speaker 2: I had the privilege of spending a number of hours
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  Speaker 2: with our interns. We have a couple of them here
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  Speaker 2: at our church, and these fine, growing, energetic, teachable young
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  Speaker 2: men are thinking of full time ministry right around the corner,
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  Speaker 2: and one of our staff members, Paul Salehammer, and I
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  Speaker 2: traveled with them to seven, eight, nine, ten different ministries
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  Speaker 2: outside our own to see how other ministries are conducted,
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  Speaker 2: and especially to visit those that differ from our own,
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  Speaker 2: so that we get a broad perspective and we have
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  Speaker 2: a chance not only to evaluate how others are doing it,
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  Speaker 2: but to do some self evaluation that always helps, usually
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  Speaker 2: hurts as well. While we were with seven, eight, nine
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  Speaker 2: of some of the finest people in ministry, without exception,
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  Speaker 2: we heard one story after another from their own lips
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  Speaker 2: of mistreatment and disrespect. And you know me well enough
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  Speaker 2: to know I carry no sense of paranoia around with me.
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  Speaker 2: I think ministry is of the highest privilege, and I
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  Speaker 2: don't believe that it is a burden. And I try
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  Speaker 2: not to walk with slumped shoulders, look humble and beaten
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  Speaker 2: and whipped, because you don't do that to me, but
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  Speaker 2: some flocks do. It's wrong. It isn't that those men
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  Speaker 2: are perfect and therefore need to be pedestalized. That's extreme thinking.
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  Speaker 2: It's that they qualify to be appreciated and to be
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  Speaker 2: highly esteemed in love. One man shared a story of
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  Speaker 2: a friend of his who was a fellow minister, and
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  Speaker 2: he had the unhappy experience of confronting a family member
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  Speaker 2: in his congregation of wrong and it was difficult to
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  Speaker 2: say the least to face this individual with it. And
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  Speaker 2: it happened to be a woman who was unfaithful to
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  Speaker 2: her husband and was living in known disobedience, And this
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  Speaker 2: faithful pastor dealt with her and did his best to
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  Speaker 2: help her come back to her home and fall back
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  Speaker 2: in love with her husband and family. One Sunday evening
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  Speaker 2: didn't have her in mind, but just had the good
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  Speaker 2: of the congregation in mind. The man preached a passionate
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  Speaker 2: message of renewal and obedience to God, and it was
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  Speaker 2: like a sweeping sense of revival that came across the assembly,
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  Speaker 2: and to his delight, this woman stepped out in the
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  Speaker 2: aisle and walked right down to him and took his
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  Speaker 2: hand and looked him in the eyes with a steel
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  Speaker 2: like stare and said, I just want you to know
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  Speaker 2: I'm more convinced than ever to do what I please.
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  Speaker 2: That's what breaks That's what breaks a man's heart. That's
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  Speaker 2: the opposite of this kind of gift. If ever, you
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  Speaker 2: have the experience of being confronted by a spiritual leader
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  Speaker 2: who tries his or her best to do it with
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  Speaker 2: tact and kindness, understand how hard that is, and repent
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  Speaker 2: change you see it's of the tough side of this job. However,
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  Speaker 2: it is also part of fulfilling the second request, living
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  Speaker 2: in peace with one another. Notice how that reads. It's
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  Speaker 2: a command live in peace. It may not sound terribly profound,
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  Speaker 2: but it is a winner in a congregation, a congregation
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  Speaker 2: that gives each other. This gift of peace is one
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  Speaker 2: that cannot be separated by a split. When I hear
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  Speaker 2: of a split, I hear of a lack of peace,
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  Speaker 2: I hear of a breakdown of the gift. I hear
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  Speaker 2: the backwash of a series of stories where someone or
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  Speaker 2: a group of individuals refuse to give the gift of peace.
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  Speaker 2: And I'll tell you it doesn't have to be a
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  Speaker 2: large congregation for there to be a breakdown of peace.
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  Speaker 2: You know where the power rests in your life. This gift,
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  Speaker 2: I'm calling it a gift. It is actually an act
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  Speaker 2: of obedience. This gift is called forth from one another.
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  Speaker 2: Verse thirteen concludes from people to pastor, from pastor to people,
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  Speaker 2: from pastor to pastor, from people to people. It is
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  Speaker 2: in the family. Just as you know, there may be
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  Speaker 2: a breakdown of peace between mom and dad, just as
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  Speaker 2: well as between parent and child. So it can happen
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  Speaker 2: in a family. Hold your place and go to Romans twelve,
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  Speaker 2: and you'll see how it is expanded there. Romans twelve,
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  Speaker 2: beginning about verse nine, Let love be without hypocrisy, abhor
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  Speaker 2: what is evil. Cleave. That's a good Biblical term. We
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  Speaker 2: don't use it much. We have the word cleaver, but
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  Speaker 2: we don't have the word cleave in our day. It's
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  Speaker 2: a word that means bonding something to something else, gluing
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  Speaker 2: something or someone to someone else. Bond yourself to what
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  Speaker 2: is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love,
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  Speaker 2: give preference to one another in honor. Look at that,
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  Speaker 2: and it isn't a one way preference. It's both ways.
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  Speaker 2: It is to pervade the assembly of God's family, not
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  Speaker 2: lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord.
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  Speaker 2: There's only one master, the Lord himself. Rejoicing in hope,
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  Speaker 2: hanging tough in tribulation. Could paraphrase persevering in tribulation, devoted
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  Speaker 2: to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.
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  Speaker 2: Drop down to verse eighteen. And I do it because
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  Speaker 2: it's realistic, if possible, so far as it depends on
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  Speaker 2: you be at peace with all men. Don't you like
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  Speaker 2: the way that reads? I do, because with some people
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  Speaker 2: it isn't possible. Some people are so honery they can't
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  Speaker 2: even live at peace with themselves, to say nothing of
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  Speaker 2: peace with one another. And you do your very best
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  Speaker 2: to build bridges of peace to others, and some will
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  Speaker 2: say detour. Then detour and go on your way. Life
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  Speaker 2: is too short to spend it at the expense of
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  Speaker 2: a few who refuse to make peace. I've lived long
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  Speaker 2: enough to learn that. Lesson how well I've learned it,
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  Speaker 2: and how much I wish I had learned it earlier.
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  Speaker 2: Now back to Thessalonians five, verse thirteen, live at peace
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  Speaker 2: with one another in as much as it is possible,
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  Speaker 2: you do everything in your power to make it happen.
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  Speaker 2: Everything now we change from those things that are kindly
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  Speaker 2: requested to a couple of or three or four urgent
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  Speaker 2: needs Verses fourteen and fifteen. Let's just take them one
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  Speaker 2: at a time. If you're keeping a list, this is
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  Speaker 2: number three. Number one is to respect those who are
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  Speaker 2: in leadership. Number two is to live at peace or
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  Speaker 2: live in peace with one another. Number three is to
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  Speaker 2: admonish the unruly. We urge you, brethren. So this is
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  Speaker 2: for the child of God. This is not for you
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  Speaker 2: to take to your unsaved neighbor and correct him or
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  Speaker 2: her and their lifestyle. If a person is without Christ,
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  Speaker 2: leave their lifestyle alone. It takes power to change and
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  Speaker 2: to clean up a lifestyle. Now, if another individual is
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  Speaker 2: a brother or a sister, then there are times in
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  Speaker 2: the family when there must be Here's the word admonition.
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  Speaker 2: Admonition it carries with it the idea of confrontation, calling
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  Speaker 2: into account. It's a strong term. It suggests correcting someone else,
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  Speaker 2: facing them with truth, even though it may hurt. Please
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  Speaker 2: notice the object of admonition, the unruly. I found this interesting.
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  Speaker 2: The only time the term translated unruly is used in
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  Speaker 2: the letters, in fact, in the New Testament is the
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: Thessalonian Letters, and it's used here several times. In fact,
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: it's used in Second Thessalonians chapter three. If you'll turn there,
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: verse six. Now we command you brethren here again, this
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: is brethren truth. This is the for the family of God.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: We command you Christians, in the name of our Lord
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: Jesus Christ, that you keep aloof from every brother who
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: leads an unruly life. There's that term again, not according
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: to the tradition which you receive from us, For you
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: know how you ought to follow our example, because we
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: didn't act in the same term undisciplined manner among you.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: So the idea is some people will be confronted and
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: admonished with their unruly lifestyle, and they will choose not
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: to change. That is that brings up the point he's
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: making here that on occasion you must break fellowship with them.
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: The term translated unruly is a military word that means
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: to be away from one's assigned post. If you've ever
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: done military service, and if you've ever walked guard duty,
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: you know that one of the requirements of the guard
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: is that you will walk your post in a military manner.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: And if you have a four hour watch, you won't
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: cut it short for an hour, nor will you take
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: a tour of the more scenic areas you stay in
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: your assigned location when you leave it. It is called in
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: this Greek term and unruly act. Let me illustrate it
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: this way. We all drive cars, and we know that
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: there is a place that cars belong on a street.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: They don't belong in a yard. As I was driving
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: to this meeting today, I turned a couple of corners
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: from my home and I saw a lady in her
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: back bathrobe out in front of her home talking to
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: an officer of the law who had pulled up and
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: his light was spinning, and their discussion, i am sure,
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: was about two deep roots ruts, two ruts that were
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: up in her front yard that had torn up her
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: yard and her flower bed, as the car had been
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: driven in an unruly manner, and her hope was that
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: the officer would admonish the fellow who did that. This
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: is another way of saying, punch his lights out. But
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: the officer was standing there very controlled, listening to her
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: complaint and looking at the ruts that had been dug
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: into her yard by a car that had left its
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: correct location. Some of you are living an unruly life.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: You have been admonished, you have been loved, you have
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: been given a rather lengthy leash, but you have not changed.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: You hurt the family living like that, You paralyze a relationship,
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: and you immobilize a friendship because you will not take
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: your proper position as a child of God. It is
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: our unhappy experience on occasion. But nevertheless, and I call
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: it because it is in the list a gift. It
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: is nevertheless an important gift, urgently needed in the body,
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: that you be admonished to stop your unruly living. Now,
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: the list continues, we are too, with equal passion, encourage
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: the faint hearted. There is an old rendering that handle
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: this encourage the feeble or the feeble minded. And it
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: left the impression it had reference to someone who was
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: lacking in intelligence. That's not the idea. Faint hearted has
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: nothing to do with being mentally slow. It is a
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: term that is used for one who is overly worried
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: or deeply discouraged physically and or emotionally debilitated. We have
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: the term despondent or blue, and our assignment is to
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: wrap up in our skin the gift of encouragement. I
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: love that gift. I long to model that gift. I
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: think of no greater tombstone etching than this person always
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: lifted me up. If your church were made up of
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: simply you and those who instruct could the instructors say
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: you lifted me up. If you are a leader in
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: your group, and there there would be given a piece
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: of paper to all of those that you're leading, could
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: they say of your leadership there is a person who
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: consistent encouraged me. I'm a fixer upper. My counsel is
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: fix up counsel. That's why I'm not a good counselor
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: good counselors take people through a process. I like for
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: people to get over the process and do right. The
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: counsel of my father lives with me forever. Could be
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: put into four words, get with it. Son. I suppose
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: that's why I read so much in the area of compassion,
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: which I lack and I want it, but I wasn't
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: raised with it, and yet I see that it works.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: Hugh Prather, in his book Notes on Love Courage, says,
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: after he told me that his younger brother had been knifed,
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: and his eyes seemed to be pleading with me to
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: do something to comfort him, I spent fifteen or twenty
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: minutes giving him the thoughts that had helped me at
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: times when I had suffered. Then he said, if my
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: brother dies, I will die at the same moment. That's
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: how close we are. I felt foolish for having tried
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: to solve things. There is a kind of pain that
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: is very far beyond words, and I was too busy
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: being conscientious to notice it. He simply wanted someone to
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: be with my friend. If you suffer from my malady,
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: then you will appreciate those words. There are times that
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: the greatest ministry of encouragement is simply our presence, not
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: a sermon, not a poem, not a project, especially not
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: a project, just you just being there. And if you
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: wonder if people will really respond to that kind of encouragement,
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: allow me one other reading from the same piece. Coming
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: home today, I was in a five o'clock line of
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: cars that was driving down Paseo de Peralta. There was
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: a little boy sitting on an adobe wall who was
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: having the time of his life, waving at each driver
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: that went by. I did not see one person who
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: could refuse him. Lift up your head. When you're with people,
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: look them in the eye. If it's all you can do,
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: at least wave. We operate as though we're all in
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: an elevator. We ever noticed people in an elevator. It's
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: one of my favorite studies. You ram twenty five people
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: in a closet built for fifteen, and when you touch someone,
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: you say, oh, excuse me for what existing you have
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: to touch them in that crowded place, and everybody's eyes
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: riveted on ten eleven, fourteen fifteen. This is my floor.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: Excuse me. We walk out and the door closes. In
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: the family, no one is on an elevator. We have
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: to touch each other to relate to each other. We
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: have to forgive each other. Occasionally we have to wave
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: and say I know you're there, and I care. You
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: have no idea, nor do I. The loneliness of lives
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: that sit around you in church Sunday after Sunday after Sunday,
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: you would be stunned with disbelief when you meet up
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: with one who is despondent. Wave, take a little time. Well,
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: this list is checking off rather quickly. We've got number
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: five already. Help the week sounds like a hospital, doesn't it.
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: The unruly, the faint hearted, the weak. You know why,
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: because it is that's what we are. We're a body
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: of imperfect people.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: Who need help.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: And so he offers not a sentimental pattern a head.
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: But the term used for help is the one used
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: for holding someone close. To go back to our word,
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: cleaving to another individual, bonding, staying near. This is the
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: opposite of abandonment. It suggests clinging close to someone as
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: long as they need you. In this case, someone who
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: is weak or exhausted, suffering from burnout or maybe even fatigue.
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: When David was weak, there was Jonathan. When Elijah was weak,
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: there was Elisha. When Paul was weak, there was Silas,
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: there was Barnabas, there was Epaphroditis, there was Epifrass. And
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: the remarkable thing is Paul gets all the ink. In
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: the reports on greats of the New Testament, you will
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: never read of Epaphroditis. Most folks can even spell the
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: name Epaphroditis or Epiphras. And yet that was the man
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: who diligently sought Paul when he was in chains, and
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: he often refreshed me when Paul was weak. I seldom
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: say a word to you, who are professional counselors, but
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: I want to say a word to you. Thank you,
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you for staying with people while they
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: are weak. Thank you for every time that they looked
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: into your eyes and needed direction, that you didn't simply
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: toss the ball back and say, well, whatever feel good,
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: whatever seems right. Thank you for clinging to them. We
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: need you in the family, we who haven't the skill
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: nor the time to work through the lengthy process of recovery.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: We need you to do that. Keep doing that, keep
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: helping the week. Now for all of us, counselors as
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: well as counselse for those of us in the family,
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: be patient with all. Man. But did you notice that
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: verse fourteen, while you're making your sixth in the list?
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: Did you notice it's addressed to all. Now we've got
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: something that goes beyond the family. This is for all.
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: He would have to throw that in patience. Interesting term.
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: We have the word a tempered. You know what The
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: Greek term is long tempered macro thumas. We get the
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: word thermometer from this term thumas. Macro means long, lengthy.
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: We have the word long suffering. This is a word
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: long tempered. Don't blow up, have a long fuse. No
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: one with a short temper belongs in ministry. That's right,
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: no one. You make more messes than we can ever
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: clean up. You need a long fuse. If you have
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: a short fuse, get into business. You love that, won't
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: you for me to tell you that so many operate
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: from anger and impatience and irritability and just restlessness. You
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: don't belong in ministry. We all change so slowly that
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: you will spend all of your time angry and restless
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: and negative with people who it seems will never change.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: Just think of how patient others have been with you,
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: and turn the tables and let it go the other way.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: Sometime a great gift that conveys real patience is just tears.
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: Just tears. Blessed is the ordinary. The reflections of Gerhard
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: Frost in the Little Book. He writes Christmas Eve, late afternoon,
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: I believe I was seven, and Mother bless her, was
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: making something special. Instead of the traditional jello, whipped cream
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: and bananas, she was making a towering pie. I stood
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: at her elbow, as small boys always will, as she
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: peeked for a moment through the partly open of ndoor,
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: perfect perfect, the meringue just right in color and consistency.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: The moment had arrived carefully, so cautiously she drew it out,
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: when suddenly a slip of those surehands, and the capsized
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: tower slithered across the floor, never to be a pie again.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: And Mother, not a weeper I could count the times,
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: covered her face with her apron and cried. I was
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: outraged that God would let it happen, because no one,
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: but no one, cries on Christmas Eve? Why did she
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: do it? Prepare this gift for hungry little gluttons? Jello
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: was enough. I know. It was her language for telling
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: us that we were special. More than sixty years have
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: come and gone, sixty Christmases, and I remember that when
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: best and its gift of tears. Sometime the best expression
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: I can give of patience is a cry, I'm still waiting.
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: Be patient with all, and while you're wrapping, refuse to retaliate.
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: See verse fifteen. He saves an entire verse for it.
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: See to it, see that no one repays another. Put
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: your name in place of no one, put your enemy's
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: name in the place of another. See to it that
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: no one repays anyone evil for evil, tit for tat,
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: poison for poison, ugly caustic comment for ugly caustic comment,
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: harsh word for harsh word, frown for frown, fist for fist.
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: See that no one repays another with evil for evil,
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: But always seek after that which is good for one
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: another and for all men. May I be painfully honest
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: with you. That is the secret of revival. History could
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: not record sufficiently the sweeping revival that would come across
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: the Church of Jesus Christ. If we obeyed first Thessalonians
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: five point fifty. Think of families that would be reunited.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: Think of friends that would smile and embrace one another.
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: Think of brothers and sisters who would now talk again
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: and support one another. Think of the gifts that would
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: flow by the spirit as there was a refusal to retaliate.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: Think of the energy level that we would save just
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: by getting rid of the anger and turning it into support.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: Think of it, and you think it's revolutionary in the
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: body of Christ. Did you miss the last three words
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: for all men? Think of neighbors that would talk again.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: Think of folks at work that would say to one another,
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: I'm hoping for your success. Think of the letters that
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: would never have been written, and think of those that
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: would have been. Think of songs that could have been
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: written in place of insults and pieces of gossip. Don't
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: play games with forgiveness. Don't play games with it. In
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: his work Caring Enough to Forgive, David Augsburger writes wisely
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: of things that forgiveness is not When quote forgiveness quote
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: puts one puts you one up on top in a
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: superior place. As the benefactor, the generous one, the giver
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: of freedom and dignity. Don't trust it, don't give it,
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: don't accept it. It isn't forgiveness. It's sweet, saintly revenge.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: When forgiveness is one way, calling one person to accept
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: all the difference, Absorb the pain, adjust to injustice. Don't
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: rush to it, don't close the case with it. It's
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: not forgiveness. When forgiveness distorts feelings by denying that there
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: was hurt, disconnecting from feelings of pain, squelching the emotions
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: that rise, pretending that all is forgiven, forgotten, foregone. Don't
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: trust it. It's a mechanical trick. When forgiveness denies that
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: there is anger and acts as if it never happened,
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: smiles as though it never hurt, takes as though it's
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: all forgotten. Excuse me, fakes as though it's all forgotten.
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: Don't offer it, don't trust it, don't depend on it.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: It isn't forgiveness. It's a magical fantasy. And one more.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: When forgiveness ends open relationships, leaves people cautious twice shy,
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: safely concealed, afraid to risk. Don't forgive. It's not forgiveness.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: It's private alienation, it's individual estrangement. Not until I truly
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: and completely forgive every person who has hurt me, can
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: I be truly free and effective. The wonderful thing about
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: all of this is that God has built into his
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: family all the resources we need. Think of them. In
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: God's word, we have all the truth we ever need.
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: Read it. In God's spirit we have all the power
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: we will ever need. Rely on him. He will be
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: patient through you, He will forgive through you, he will
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: encourage through you. In his spirit, you have all the
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: power you need. Rely on him, and in his family
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: we have all the challenge we will ever need, all
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: that we will ever need. There are other people very
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: much like ourselves, and there are many people quite the opposite.
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: There are older and younger in the family. There are
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: those much wiser those much less. And that's the perfect
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: laboratory to relate. Relate to it. If you're in a
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: local church and you're wondering how all of this is
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: to be carried out, just open your eyes. That's what
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: a church is about. From his book to what do
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: you do after you say Amen? Foy Valentine writes these
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: closing words, Listen closely. It is imperative for Christians to
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: avoid and empty humanism. It is equally imperative to avoid
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: and inane religiosity. Consider a parable. A great congregation, strong
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: and upright, loyal, determined to erect a house of worship
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: worthy of their great God, began the process with uncommon
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: patience and painstaking care. They conceive their plans, organize their membership,
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: appointed the committees, solicited support, gave sacrificially, and over a
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: long period, amassed many millions of dollars. After years of
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: diligent work, they completed the construction of a truly fabulsillus edifice,
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: incorporating consummate design, superb engineering, intricate workmanship, and the finest
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: materials gathered from around the world. The building was finally
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: dedicated in a glorious week of splendor and rejoicing. On
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: the very last day of the dedication services, when the
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: number one preacher in the nation had finished a breathtaking
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: display of glittering homolytical skills, the pastor called the congregation
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: to a time of thankful, prayerful dedication. As the people
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: waited in utter silence, the form of a great giant
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: hand appeared and slowly wrote over the against the wall
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: in letters ten feet high. Now build me a church.
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: Now build me a church. A church is not an edifice,
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: an architectural dream, a place to impress the public. A
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: church is a family, not people stuffed into an elevator,
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: Not folks who hold grudges and stare like steal at
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: one another, those who have even done them wrong. A
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: church is a place or Christ demonstrates his life. Let's
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: about together. You wonder what to give the family. Begin
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: with respect for those who lead you. Decide to become
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: a person of peace. Ease to the undisciplined, Give admonition
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: appropriately privately, sincerely and humbly to the fainthearted and discouraged.
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: Be of encouragement to the week, Stay near for the irritable,
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: Be patient for all. Forgive Father. This has been family truth,
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: much needed, stated well by you and your book. Listen to.
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: Now. I ask you.
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: To help us build a church. Start with me, and
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: may it become so infectious. May this disease of enthusiasm
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: and germs of cheer and love and forgiveness becomes so
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: infectious that it sweeps across this place. In the name
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: of the Savior, I pray Amen.
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: The preceding message, Gifts to Give the Family was copyrighted
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: in nineteen eighty four, nineteen eighty five, nineteen ninety three,
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: two thousand and three, and twenty twenty four, and the
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: sound recording was copyrighted in twenty twenty four by Charles
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: Rswindall Incorporated. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: material for commercial use is strictly inhabited