Latest / Crafted Connections / EP 19: SOLO - 33 Things I Know/Believe at 33 (Birthday Episode 🎉)
Transcript
- 0:04SPEAKER_00: Hello! Welcome to Crafted Connections.
- 0:07SPEAKER_00: I'm Keelan Calhoun, and this is a podcast all about storytelling and building genuine community.
- 0:13SPEAKER_00: Here we'll dive into the art of storytelling, unpack strategies for making meaningful connections, and hear from incredible humans who are using their story to create impact.
- 0:23SPEAKER_00: So grab your favorite beverage, settle in, and let's craft some connections.
- 0:30SPEAKER_00: Hello! Welcome back to Crafty Connections.
- 0:33SPEAKER_00: We have a solo episode today, friends.
- 0:36SPEAKER_00: A solo episode.
- 0:37SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you can feel it, but this is birthday energy coming at you.
- 0:41SPEAKER_00: I'm recording this episode for tomorrow.
- 0:43SPEAKER_00: And tomorrow, aka when this episode is live, is my birthday.
- 0:50SPEAKER_00: She's a Leo.
- 0:51SPEAKER_00: She's obsessed with her birthday.
- 0:53SPEAKER_00: She is me.
- 0:54SPEAKER_00: Me is she.
- 0:55SPEAKER_00: I love my birthday.
- 0:57SPEAKER_00: I also love you all and all your feedback, especially the visibility episode recently.
- 1:05SPEAKER_00: People were vibing on that, and I'm just loving seeing your visibility, seeing you show up being seen out in the wild.
- 1:11SPEAKER_00: It makes me so happy.
- 1:13SPEAKER_00: I should record every episode around my birthday, like all of them.
- 1:16SPEAKER_00: I'll just like, you know, record 52 all in this week because the energy is real.
- 1:21SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you can feel it.
- 1:23SPEAKER_00: I'm a freaking son, y'all.
- 1:24SPEAKER_00: With that, I wanted to do a special birthday episode, kind of doing a little bit of listicle.
- 1:30SPEAKER_00: We love a listicle.
- 1:31SPEAKER_00: I personally love a listicle.
- 1:33SPEAKER_00: So I wrote something for you.
- 1:35SPEAKER_00: 33 things that I know slash believe at age 33.
- 1:40SPEAKER_00: So let's just kick it off, shall we?
- 1:42SPEAKER_00: Number one, my mom is the best person on the planet.
- 1:45SPEAKER_00: I am very fortunate to be raised by this teacher, kind, pure soul, Wendy Calhoun.
- 1:52SPEAKER_00: I have a lovely father as well.
- 1:54SPEAKER_00: They've been married for over 40 years.
- 1:56SPEAKER_00: There's something about my mom, and I think everybody who knows her will agree with this.
- 2:00SPEAKER_00: If you've seen anything related to her in my own sharing, she is she's an amazing, amazing person.
- 2:06SPEAKER_00: Number two, when I shared this list with Phil, he gassed.
- 2:10SPEAKER_00: And uh I also have a very, very, very supportive partner in Phil.
- 2:14SPEAKER_00: We do this life on the boat and we make it work.
- 2:17SPEAKER_00: And as you'll hear by the end of this list, Nicole, he's been around for the thick of it.
- 2:22SPEAKER_00: So I'm very grateful for both of those people.
- 2:24SPEAKER_00: Number three, I'm pretty sure Dolly Parton is the second best person on the planet.
- 2:28SPEAKER_00: And this is at age 33, right?
- 2:29SPEAKER_00: I got a lot of years to live, I got a lot of people to meet.
- 2:32SPEAKER_00: So far, with what I see with that woman, I'm I'm quite impressed, and I know a lot of people are.
- 2:36SPEAKER_00: So shout out to Dolly Parton.
- 2:38SPEAKER_00: I know you're listening.
- 2:41SPEAKER_00: I tried to say it with straight face.
- 2:43SPEAKER_00: Number four, I think you all have heard this so far.
- 2:46SPEAKER_00: Being silly and playful to the best of your ability is key to working through hard personal experiences, or really just like to move through life.
- 2:55SPEAKER_00: Playful, silly.
- 2:57SPEAKER_00: It's the way to go.
- 2:58SPEAKER_00: So keep it silly out there, folks.
- 3:00SPEAKER_00: Number five, slow is fast.
- 3:03SPEAKER_00: It's kind of the whole idea of measure twice, cut once, right?
- 3:07SPEAKER_00: The idea that doing it right the first time.
- 3:10SPEAKER_00: Slow allows you to do that.
- 3:12SPEAKER_00: It allows you to think more clearly.
- 3:14SPEAKER_00: I have found when I try and go fast, I never end up achieving that thing at the pace I would if I had gone a little bit slower.
- 3:22SPEAKER_00: To be meditative, to move through things at the pace that they're they're meant to be moved through instead of trying to force things.
- 3:28SPEAKER_00: Number six, your relationships are a mirror.
- 3:30SPEAKER_00: You can tell a lot about yourself by what's going on in your relationships.
- 3:33SPEAKER_00: If you're seeing a pattern, maybe there's a common denominator.
- 3:36SPEAKER_00: Definitely have experienced that.
- 3:38SPEAKER_00: Number seven, this was one that a former landlord/slash roommate of mine expressed to me.
- 3:43SPEAKER_00: She has a PhD in empathy.
- 3:46SPEAKER_00: Super cool human.
- 3:47SPEAKER_00: Would love to have her on the pod in the future.
- 3:49SPEAKER_00: But she said to me that one of her advisors, when she was getting her PhD, said to the class, your work can't love you back.
- 3:58SPEAKER_00: And I have found this to be true.
- 4:01SPEAKER_00: You can love your work, you can get fulfillment from your work, but your work isn't going to give back to you how much you give to it.
- 4:08SPEAKER_00: And so being very clear about that and understanding the boundaries around that is extremely important.
- 4:13SPEAKER_00: So sometimes you just gotta go to bed or just take a break.
- 4:17SPEAKER_00: Number eight, sometimes things that seem bad now are the best possible thing 10 years from now.
- 4:22SPEAKER_00: I was reflecting on my life 10 years ago, and there was a lot going on in my personal life, especially my dating life.
- 4:28SPEAKER_00: Some of the experiences I was having, the rejection, this, that, and the other, it felt really horrendous at the time.
- 4:35SPEAKER_00: But I look back and I'm like, so glad it didn't work out.
- 4:38SPEAKER_00: So glad this happened that way.
- 4:40SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I'm sure if I spent some time reflecting on my career, the same thing.
- 4:44SPEAKER_00: There's all sorts of things where you just something not working out feels so crappy in the moment, but long term, you're so grateful.
- 4:52SPEAKER_00: Number nine, invest your energy in those who are invested in you.
- 4:57SPEAKER_00: I don't mean this to be like, make sure you're getting from others.
- 5:00SPEAKER_00: You know, don't give unless you get.
- 5:02SPEAKER_00: I don't mean it in that way.
- 5:03SPEAKER_00: I mean it in the way of to go back to like the early 20s experience, right?
- 5:07SPEAKER_00: Don't put everything into someone who's not even giving you the time of day.
- 5:13SPEAKER_00: And that can be for work relationships as well.
- 5:15SPEAKER_00: It's just so important to make sure that there's a vested interest.
- 5:19SPEAKER_00: And in that too, right?
- 5:20SPEAKER_00: You need to invest in your people just as much as they invest in you.
- 5:23SPEAKER_00: And it's just really making sure that that feels good and there's like a positive energetic exchange.
- 5:28SPEAKER_00: Number 10, kind of along those lines, you do not have to spend time with people that you don't like or enjoy.
- 5:35SPEAKER_00: I believe that everybody deserves love.
- 5:38SPEAKER_00: I genuinely love all humans.
- 5:40SPEAKER_00: And there's some people that just like might rub you the wrong way.
- 5:43SPEAKER_00: Don't waste your time.
- 5:44SPEAKER_00: It's okay to set boundaries or be like, no, thank you.
- 5:47SPEAKER_00: I don't want to connect with you anymore.
- 5:49SPEAKER_00: Like that is totally fine.
- 5:51SPEAKER_00: Don't waste your time with folks that don't light you up.
- 5:54SPEAKER_00: Be lit up, live fully.
- 5:56SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's like who you're spending time with just might feel blah.
- 6:00SPEAKER_00: And so go find people that make you feel fire in your belly.
- 6:03SPEAKER_00: It's a big deal and it it changes your experience.
- 6:05SPEAKER_00: Number 11, life is too damn short to waste it.
- 6:09SPEAKER_00: I remember my grandpa, he passed away back in 2015.
- 6:12SPEAKER_00: He used to talk about how life went by pretty quick.
- 6:14SPEAKER_00: And you don't know, like one day, if you're lucky enough, you'll be older sitting on a porch with your grandkids or with your friends, with your community.
- 6:22SPEAKER_00: That's a good life.
- 6:23SPEAKER_00: It goes by quick.
- 6:25SPEAKER_00: I know that I am still young.
- 6:28SPEAKER_00: And these past 10 years, I feel like I blinked.
- 6:31SPEAKER_00: You don't understand how fast it goes.
- 6:33SPEAKER_00: Day in, day out.
- 6:33SPEAKER_00: Some days feel like a slog, but ultimately adds up so quick.
- 6:36SPEAKER_00: So it's really important to cherish it because it's too dang short, my friends.
- 6:41SPEAKER_00: Number 12, your appearance is the least interesting thing about you.
- 6:44SPEAKER_00: I believe this wholeheartedly.
- 6:46SPEAKER_00: One of my mindset coaches expresses this quite often.
- 6:49SPEAKER_00: I went through quite a period of insecurity about physical appearance, this, that, and the other.
- 6:55SPEAKER_00: I do not spend time on it anymore.
- 6:57SPEAKER_00: It's just not worth it.
- 6:58SPEAKER_00: I make sure that I feel good, I feel clean, relatively put together, but honestly, more from a me standpoint.
- 7:05SPEAKER_00: I don't even brush my hair every day and I'm not ashamed of it.
- 7:08SPEAKER_00: And it's one of those things where the amount of brain energy I spent, especially, you know, late teens, early 20s, worrying about how I looked when I've always had an amazing glowing presence and have made people feel good by just being me.
- 7:23SPEAKER_00: It's just not worth overthinking about your appearance.
- 7:26SPEAKER_00: Which brings me to number 13.
- 7:29SPEAKER_00: Other people are not thinking about you as much as you are thinking about you, or as much as you think that they are thinking about you.
- 7:35SPEAKER_00: They are thinking about themselves.
- 7:37SPEAKER_00: I heard on a podcast once she did a great job explaining this where she's like, it's not that they don't think about you.
- 7:43SPEAKER_00: It's that it's a passing thought.
- 7:45SPEAKER_00: She did a great job explaining, like, you know, yes, maybe, maybe your mom's disappointed that you didn't end up becoming a professional ballet dancer, right?
- 7:53SPEAKER_00: Your mom's driving to the pharmacy and being like, okay, I need to grab milk.
- 7:56SPEAKER_00: Oh, look at that squirrel.
- 7:58SPEAKER_00: Oh, I wish that Clarice had become a ballet dancer.
- 8:00SPEAKER_00: Oh, I need to make sure I call John.
- 8:02SPEAKER_00: And it's like, it's a passing thought, if anything.
- 8:05SPEAKER_00: And people are not spending as much time as as you are, like lamenting about how I don't want to disappoint this person or want to make sure I look a certain way, and I don't want people to see this, that, and the other about me.
- 8:15SPEAKER_00: So don't worry about what they're thinking.
- 8:18SPEAKER_00: A lot of these items are very like, it's not worth your time.
- 8:22SPEAKER_00: Live fully now.
- 8:23SPEAKER_00: I mean, we're we're coming on a theme and I'm I'm loving it.
- 8:28SPEAKER_00: Hey y'all.
- 8:29SPEAKER_00: You know I love telling stories, gathering stories, and finding a way to help people connect their story with the people that will get it.
- 8:37SPEAKER_00: And that's what my story strategy sessions are all about.
- 8:40SPEAKER_00: So over at Calhoun Creative Consulting, my strategic storytelling firm, we do one-on-one and or facilitated workshops in relation to really honing in the strategy around your story.
- 8:52SPEAKER_00: It's a bit of messaging meets content creation, meets storytelling, and then how do we put that out in the world?
- 8:58SPEAKER_00: How do we show up regularly?
- 8:59SPEAKER_00: There's a bit of mindset work around it, right?
- 9:01SPEAKER_00: To actually tell your story, whether you're launching something new or trying to rework your brand or just feeling a little foggy on how to communicate with your people.
- 9:08SPEAKER_00: This is how to get clear.
- 9:09SPEAKER_00: We'll dig into things like your narrative, how to uncover what matters most, maybe map out a few content pillars while we're at it.
- 9:15SPEAKER_00: You'll also get a recording of our session so you can revisit the conversation anytime you like.
- 9:20SPEAKER_00: Let's shape a story that actually feels like you.
- 9:22SPEAKER_00: So book yours today.
- 9:23SPEAKER_00: There is a link in the show notes.
- 9:25SPEAKER_00: And hey, while you're at it, use the code podcast, all caps, podcast for 25% off your session.
- 9:33SPEAKER_00: I would be honored to spend time with you and suss out your story.
- 9:37SPEAKER_00: Let's dive back into the episode, shall we?
- 9:42SPEAKER_00: Number 14, super simple.
- 9:44SPEAKER_00: Trust your gut.
- 9:45SPEAKER_00: It knows.
- 9:46SPEAKER_00: Even the times where I thought I was trusting my gut, but it was not right, it was because of some other external factor, right?
- 9:53SPEAKER_00: So really keep in tune with your gut.
- 9:55SPEAKER_00: Number 15, you can do hard things.
- 9:57SPEAKER_00: Some of these are just super cliche with the trust your gut, you can do hard things, but I have found them to be so true.
- 10:03SPEAKER_00: And I have no regrets including them on this list because it's my freaking list.
- 10:07SPEAKER_00: And I do trust my gut with that, and I can do hard things.
- 10:10SPEAKER_00: Number 16, for fun.
- 10:13SPEAKER_00: Cute socks make me so flipping happy, even on the toughest days.
- 10:16SPEAKER_00: I would also add cute underwear to that.
- 10:18SPEAKER_00: In college, I had a bunch of tests one day that I was not prepared for.
- 10:22SPEAKER_00: So I wore my favorite SpongeBob underwear and it just made things better.
- 10:25SPEAKER_00: I don't remember what grades I got, but I do remember what underwear I was wearing.
- 10:30SPEAKER_00: So same thing with the socks I'm wearing today.
- 10:33SPEAKER_00: They have little ruffles and little hearts on the side.
- 10:35SPEAKER_00: So just makes me happy, you know?
- 10:37SPEAKER_00: And it's now I'm cracking up because it is like it's what I'm gonna end up remembering on some of the harder days.
- 10:42SPEAKER_00: Uh you don't even remember what the hard thing was.
- 10:45SPEAKER_00: Number 17, your environment impacts your experience.
- 10:48SPEAKER_00: Keep that in mind.
- 10:49SPEAKER_00: That's really important.
- 10:51SPEAKER_00: And then number 18, you can alter and have control of your environment.
- 10:56SPEAKER_00: It is something that takes time to alter, but when it comes down to it, there are certain factors, certain boundaries you can set.
- 11:04SPEAKER_00: This is something I'm saying from a place of my experience.
- 11:07SPEAKER_00: Number 19, I see life as a bit of a formula that you get to kind of co-create in the way that one plus one equals two.
- 11:14SPEAKER_00: If you are one of the numbers and you change yourself to 1.1, or you you are now a two and you go two plus one equals three.
- 11:24SPEAKER_00: And so in that, I completely believe that if you change the equation, aka change your portion of the equation, then the outcome changes.
- 11:32SPEAKER_00: If you show up different, the equation changes and the outcome changes.
- 11:36SPEAKER_00: And I love that that's a part of the way that I get to live.
- 11:40SPEAKER_00: Number 20, very few things are irreversible.
- 11:43SPEAKER_00: Number 21, some of the experiences that you thought would be the end of you will not be.
- 11:48SPEAKER_00: And then you get back up.
- 11:49SPEAKER_00: So I think 21 kind of covers 20 where it's like very few things are irreversible, and some of the things that you think are irreversible are actually not that irreversible.
- 11:58SPEAKER_00: I would also argue some of the things that you would think would be the end of you are actually for your best, right?
- 12:03SPEAKER_00: That's something we talked about a little bit earlier.
- 12:05SPEAKER_00: Something that you think is bad happens, something that you think can't be altered happens.
- 12:10SPEAKER_00: You have more control than you realize.
- 12:12SPEAKER_00: And I it starts between your ears.
- 12:14SPEAKER_00: So number 22, this one is one that I am carrying with me all the time.
- 12:20SPEAKER_00: You get to take lessons with you after failure.
- 12:22SPEAKER_00: So after a bunch of stuff doesn't work out, you can genuinely lose everything.
- 12:27SPEAKER_00: Like I said, it's not irreversible.
- 12:29SPEAKER_00: And you get to take those lessons with you.
- 12:31SPEAKER_00: So you are like not the same person prior to that failure.
- 12:34SPEAKER_00: And then you take that, you take that like information, that knowledge, that experience into your next endeavor, the next time you get up and face things, and it's really flipping magical.
- 12:45SPEAKER_00: Yes, the valley flipping sucks.
- 12:48SPEAKER_00: Been there, done that, we'll probably keep doing it.
- 12:51SPEAKER_00: Ultimately, though, it is very exciting that you get to keep those lessons.
- 12:55SPEAKER_00: Number 23, a little bit of a jokey one.
- 12:58SPEAKER_00: I wish I had written this list at 23 so that I will be done with it by now.
- 13:02SPEAKER_00: We are on a journey.
- 13:03SPEAKER_00: I'm sharing so much with you.
- 13:05SPEAKER_00: As I was writing the list, I'm like, wow, 33 is a lot of numbers.
- 13:08SPEAKER_00: Number 24, on a more serious note, I am incredibly grateful to grow older and wake up every day.
- 13:15SPEAKER_00: It is such a privilege to continue living and trying, even after trying things that literally, I think my brain told me if you do this and it doesn't work, you will be dead.
- 13:26SPEAKER_00: I didn't die.
- 13:27SPEAKER_00: Things didn't work, and I was still alive.
- 13:30SPEAKER_00: And that's freaky incredible.
- 13:32SPEAKER_00: I get to keep going, and that's such a privilege.
- 13:35SPEAKER_00: It's incredibly wonderful.
- 13:37SPEAKER_00: Another privilege that I have, number 25, I absolutely won the lottery with the family I was born into.
- 13:42SPEAKER_00: I am very fortunate to have incredible parents and sisters and extended family that just cheers me on every flipping step of the way.
- 13:51SPEAKER_00: And I just want to give them a nod because hot dang y'all are awesome.
- 13:56SPEAKER_00: Number 26, I also won the lottery when it comes to my supportive fella Phil.
- 14:01SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's fun.
- 14:02SPEAKER_00: Fella Phil, should start calling him that.
- 14:04SPEAKER_00: He'll love it.
- 14:04SPEAKER_00: I'm just incredibly lucky to have him, to know him, to have met him, to have crossed paths with him, to have experienced the unconditional support.
- 14:13SPEAKER_00: Uh, some of the things that he has just been by my side through, I am just so incredibly grateful.
- 14:18SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if I would have been as patient as him, honestly.
- 14:21SPEAKER_00: So super lucky and super grateful for that.
- 14:24SPEAKER_00: Just an extra thought to that.
- 14:26SPEAKER_00: I I do feel like winning the lottery with my family taught me that I'm worthy of having someone supportive.
- 14:33SPEAKER_00: Okay, number 27.
- 14:35SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, this one's a zinger.
- 14:38SPEAKER_00: Receiving is as important as giving.
- 14:40SPEAKER_00: I say that begrudgingly because number 28, I'm still trying to become more comfortable with receiving.
- 14:47SPEAKER_00: I believe it to be true, right?
- 14:49SPEAKER_00: I believe that receiving is just as important as giving because I've given and it feels so good when people are like grateful.
- 14:57SPEAKER_00: Even we're talking, let's not even talk financially.
- 14:59SPEAKER_00: We're talking compliments, right?
- 15:01SPEAKER_00: Just like giving someone a compliment and they're like, thank you.
- 15:04SPEAKER_00: Period.
- 15:05SPEAKER_00: How wonderful is that, right?
- 15:08SPEAKER_00: Why do I have such a hard time doing that for myself?
- 15:13SPEAKER_00: Someone says, Caitlin, I like your new fancy nails, and I say, Oh, well, this and that, and then and I gotta overexplain it, right?
- 15:19SPEAKER_00: But thank you.
- 15:21SPEAKER_00: They are cute and I love them too.
- 15:23SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna practice that.
- 15:24SPEAKER_00: That's gonna be something that we talk about in the future, I'm sure.
- 15:28SPEAKER_00: Number 29, I'm also trying to be better about giving myself rest.
- 15:34SPEAKER_00: That's key and something I'm working on.
- 15:38SPEAKER_00: Number 30.
- 15:39SPEAKER_00: Between ages 30 and 33, I have made more mistakes professionally and financially than I ever thought possible.
- 15:47SPEAKER_00: Frankly, to the point where, like, if you gave 25-year-old Caitlin, 28-year-old Caitlin, the highlights of the professional financial mistakes that she was avoiding that I made, she'd probably just have a heart attack.
- 16:04SPEAKER_00: Which brings me to number 31.
- 16:06SPEAKER_00: The lessons from those failures are going to carry me through this next chapter and beyond in ways that I could never imagine.
- 16:13SPEAKER_00: I know that.
- 16:14SPEAKER_00: I absolutely know that.
- 16:16SPEAKER_00: I don't know how I know it, but I know it because I wrote it down and I was like, oh yeah, I believe that.
- 16:20SPEAKER_00: So that is that's what I see.
- 16:22SPEAKER_00: It's really, really thrilling.
- 16:23SPEAKER_00: Number 32, I'm so proud of myself for taking risks and always showing up for me.
- 16:29SPEAKER_00: Even in the hardest of it, I got out of bed, I made my bed, and took on the day.
- 16:34SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that was at like 11 a.m., but I still did it.
- 16:37SPEAKER_00: I still got up and did the thing.
- 16:39SPEAKER_00: And I am incredibly proud of myself for that.
- 16:41SPEAKER_00: And then finally, number 33, above all, you have to love yourself.
- 16:47SPEAKER_00: If you don't love yourself, what's the dang point?
- 16:50SPEAKER_00: If you can't look in the mirror and be like, I'm cool with her, I'm cool with him, I'm cool with that person, what is the dang point?
- 16:57SPEAKER_00: Because it starts in here, and I hope that you take these random beliefs and lessons, especially the one about my mom, and into your day, into your year.
- 17:07SPEAKER_00: Know that you're worth being on this planet.
- 17:09SPEAKER_00: And I am just so glad to have you listening and to know you.
- 17:13SPEAKER_00: So thank you for your time.
- 17:15SPEAKER_00: I am so, so grateful.
- 17:18SPEAKER_00: I love myself and I love you.
- 17:20SPEAKER_00: Have the best international Caitlin Ashen Calhoun Day ever.
- 17:25SPEAKER_00: Bye, friends.
- 17:29SPEAKER_00: Crafted Connections is lovingly produced by Calhoun Creative Consulting, a strategic storytelling firm dedicated to helping people and brands tell their stories in a way that resonates.
- 17:40SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and connect with us on Instagram at Crafted Connections Bot.
- 17:47SPEAKER_00: Keep creating, keep connecting, until we meet again.