Latest / LAUNCH: Parenting Tips for Raising Adult Children & Building Better Relationships / #8: Mental Illness in Teens and Young Adults: How to Spot the Signs, Start the Conversation, and Get Professional Help

Transcript

#8: Mental Illness in Teens and Young Adults: How to Spot the Signs, Start the Conversation, and Get Professional Help · LAUNCH: Parenting Tips for Raising Adult Children & Building Better Relationships

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a parent of an adult child, worried and frustrated because they are struggling to become independent, responsible, and find purpose in their life, or you want to know what to do to prevent it, you're in the right place.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is Launch, a podcast that helps you guide your adult child to launch confidently into adulthood.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sherry Jones, author, educator, and co-parenting consultant, taking a deep dive into the ongoing challenges that you're faced with as you watch your adult child struggle.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Each episode will deliver actionable steps and strategies that you can take to help your young adult become confident, motivated, and self-sufficient.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Parents, if you want your adult child to achieve a life of independence, thrive in this world, and reach their full potential, then listen in to launch.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sherry Jonas, and this is Launch.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Becoming an independent, responsible adult isn't an easy transition, but when mental health challenges come into play, it can feel like an uphill battle.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: And not just for your young adult, but for you as well.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: First, let me start by saying this.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: You are not alone.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: So many parents are navigating this challenging stage with their kids, and it can feel overwhelming to figure out what's normal these days and what might require deeper attention.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Today, we're diving into a really important topic: mental health challenges in young adults.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Specifically, we're going to talk about how to identify whether your child might need professional help, how to approach them, and what steps to take if they've already been diagnosed.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: I need to mention that I'm not a psychiatrist or a doctor in the mental health profession per se.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: I do have degrees in psychology and family life education, along with years of research and experience in the field of parenting, so I can certainly provide you with valuable insights, suggestions, and resources, but I cannot offer you a diagnosis.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: For that, you will need a therapist or at least a practitioner who can have your adult child tested.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: My goal is always to empower you with the knowledge and tools that you need to support your young adult.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: And the first step to helping them thrive is addressing what might be holding them back.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Over the years, I have witnessed many situations where I knew there was a problem with a child, but it was not being addressed.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: It was the hardest thing to watch because even though it was not my place to say anything, I knew that early intervention or professional help was their best chance.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, either these parents really didn't see it, or they had an idea, but they didn't want to make a big deal about it.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: But for those parents who did bring it to their doctor's attention, they were able to get ahead of it and provide the necessary help.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: I say this to you with my whole heart.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: There is no shame in getting your child tested.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope that you find this episode to be both informative and insightful.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if this is your first time listening in, I always talk about the why.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: In this case, why is it so important to have your young adult tested or seen by a professional to determine if, in fact, they are struggling with a mental disorder?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Well, for starters, it can answer a lot of questions for you and for them.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Just like a child who is having trouble learning how to read and then you discover they have dyslexia, or a child who can't sit still in class gets tested for ADHD.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Or a teenager who has meltdowns whenever there's a school test or a social gathering might be struggling with social anxiety.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: There's depression, bipolar disorder, ASD, which is autism spectrum disorder.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: The list goes on.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: So understanding what's going on allows you to make adjustments, get medication, or seek counseling, all of which can help your young adult manage their life and move forward.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't mentioned substance abuse because I'll be talking about that in the next episode.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now, before I say anything else, I want you to know that it really can be difficult to distinguish between the normal struggles of early adulthood and a mental health condition that requires professional attention.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get into some of the signs to look out for, or rather, to not ignore, in order to determine if your teen or young adult should be evaluated.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there are many different issues that we could be referring to specifically, but I'm going to keep these signs fairly generic and also to a minimum of five, which I think is enough.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: First is persistent emotional struggles.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Now, one of the first signs that your young adult might need help is when their emotional struggles seem to go beyond the typical ups and downs of life.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's normal to feel sad, stressed, frustrated, worried, but if these feelings last for weeks, even months, it's probably something more.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: So pay attention if they seem persistently down, easily overwhelmed, or unusually irritable.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Take note if they've lost interest in things they used to enjoy, or have a hard time bouncing back when things go awry.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Hopelessness about their future, constantly feeling anxious, and even developing new phobias need to be addressed.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: The key here is to look at how long these emotions are lasting and whether they're making it harder for your young adult to live their daily life.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Things like holding a job, managing responsibilities, or maintaining friendships.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if they're still in school, are they losing interest, finding excuses not to go, or behaving unusually poorly, out of character?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you see emotional outbursts that seem disproportionate to the situation, don't brush those aside.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: The second is changes in behavior.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Significant changes in behavior can be a clear sign that your young adult is facing challenges that go beyond typical growing pains.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Unlike emotional struggles, which are more about how they feel, extreme behavioral changes show up in what they do.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: For example, they might start canceling plans, preferring to spend most of their time alone.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: You might notice they've completely disengaged from hobbies or activities that they used to love, like quitting a sports team or no longer playing an instrument they once enjoyed.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: In some cases, these changes may lean toward riskier behaviors, like being reckless or making impulsive decisions that seem out of character.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: These actions can be subtle at first, but often grow over time.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Behavioral changes are your window into what they might be struggling to manage internally, and they're often a big clue that it's time to step in and get them help.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Next is struggling with daily functioning.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now, these might sound like they're overlapping with one another, but daily functioning is when they're neglecting basic responsibilities and everyday tasks.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Are they skipping meals, no longer cleaning up after themselves?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Showering seems to be an effort.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Even making a phone call seems overwhelming to them.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: These struggles can pile up quickly, leaving them feeling stuck or incapable of moving forward.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're seeing a pattern where they seem unable to meet their basic demands of day-to-day life, it's a sign they may need professional support.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth is physical symptoms.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now, physical symptoms that don't have a clear medical cause can often be a sign of an underlying mental health challenge.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Mental and emotional struggles can take a toll on the body, showing up in ways that might not immediately seem connected.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: For example, your young adult may complain about frequent headaches, stomach aches, chronic fatigue, low energy.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: This can happen because mental health conditions like depression or anxiety often disrupt the body's energy regulation, leaving them feeling physically exhausted.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Sleep patterns can also be a big clue.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Are they sleeping too much or complaining that they can't fall asleep or stay asleep?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Another sign is noticeable changes in weight, whether that's a sudden loss or a gain.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: These physical symptoms aren't just discomforts, they're signals from the body that something deeper might be going on and they're worth paying close attention to if they persist.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: And the fifth is, I mean, it's scary.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's expressions of self-harm or suicidal thoughts.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: By far, this is the most serious and urgent sign that your young adult is in distress.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Even if these expressions seem casual or offhand, you have got to take them seriously.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes these thoughts are verbalized directly, but other times they might show up in other ways, like writing, drawing, or social media posts.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: You may also notice physical signs of self-injury, such as unexplained cuts or burns, often in areas they might try to hide.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: These are clear signs for help, clear cries for help, and require immediate attention.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: So if your young adult is showing signs of self-harm or suicide, I urge you to act quickly by reaching out to a mental health professional or even better, a crisis hotline.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Your child's safety is the most important priority.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: So please be sure to keep those emergency numbers readily available.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the signs to watch out for.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: And since I know how touchy this topic is, I'm going to offer you three soft approaches because it's very likely that your young adult may resist your help at first.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Here's how to approach this conversation in a very supportive way.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: First, use I statements.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of saying you should see somebody or you need to get help, frame it as if it's your observation and your concern.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: For example, I've noticed you've seen really down lately and I'm worried about how you're feeling.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Or I see how hard things have been for you, and I want to help you feel better.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Second, normalize seeking help.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Many young adults fear the stigma of seeing a therapist, or they think their struggles aren't even serious enough to warrant professional help.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: So you must reassure them that seeking help is normal and proactive.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: You can say something like, seeing a therapist to work through tough times is no different from seeing a doctor when you're physically sick.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: And third, offer your support.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Make the process less intimidating by offering to help them through it.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Say something like, Would it help if I looked up therapists with you?
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Or brought you to your first appointment.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: If your young adult is pushing you away, in spite of all your attempts to help them, ask another trusted family member or friend to speak to them.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps even contact their doctor and tell them what's going on.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: When I was younger, I was going through a very rough patch.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: My best friend didn't know what to do for me, so she reached out to my brother, who spoke to my mother, who contacted my doctor.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: You might say this was some sort of intervention.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: The doctor's office called me to set up an annual checkup, and once I was in front of him, he addressed the issue with me directly.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: That whole setup saved me, and I am beyond thankful that they went behind my back and did what they did.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: So please don't give up on your child.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you're a parent whose young adult has already been diagnosed with a mental health condition, it's normal to feel a mix of relief and uncertainty about their path ahead.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: The good news is that there are steps you can take to support both your child and yourself during this time.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: First, be sure to educate yourself about their diagnosis, even and especially their medication, so that you can better understand what they're experiencing.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Next, encourage them to stick with their treatment plan, whether that involves medication, therapy, or both.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Gentle reminders can go a long way, but remember to respect their autonomy.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: They need to feel in control of their mental health journey.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Encourage healthy routines, such as good sleep habits, eating nutritious meals, and getting outside for fresh air and some physical activity.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: If they're struggling to access resources, you can help them connect with support groups.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, don't forget to take care of yourself.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Supporting a young adult through mental health challenges can be emotionally taxing.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: So make time for your own well-being.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it's just carving out space for activities that recharge you.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Taking care of yourself ensures that you're in the best position to help your child.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now I know this episode, or rather this topic, can feel very heavy, but I want you to walk away today with a hopeful perspective.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Mental health challenges are incredibly common, but with the right support, starting with you, your young adult can learn how to manage their issues effectively.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Before we wrap up, I want to leave you with a few suggestions that you can take to move things along.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: One, acknowledge their progress.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's important to recognize even the smallest steps forward.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: Did they schedule an appointment, complete a therapy session, shower and prepare a meal for themselves?
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Acknowledge those moments, not just because you should, but also so they learn to give themselves credit.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's a nice change from always beating themselves up.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Two, work together to develop their life skills.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Once their mental health challenges begin to stabilize, slowly get into the habit of teaching them life skills.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: I have a PDF on the 10 most important ones, which I'll provide a link for in the show notes.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Three, remind them of their strengths.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Your young adult may feel as if their struggles now define them or label them.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, I want you to remind them of the strengths and the qualities that make them unique.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: I was listening to a podcast the other day that spoke specifically about this.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: So rather than just saying you're so sweet and you're such a great kid, tell them why.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Be specific to them and whatever natural ability or personal traits that they have that make them unique.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's what they need to hear from you during these times.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: And the last is focus on the long game.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: Mental health recovery isn't linear, and setbacks are part of the journey.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Keeping a big picture perspective and reminding your young adult and yourself that it's about the progress, not perfection, is key.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Parenting a young adult can be a complex and challenging experience, and adding mental health issues to the mix can feel daunting.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: But remember, you don't have to have all the answers.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: The fact that you're showing up here, listening and seeking out ways to help them is a true testament to your love and dedication to your child.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: Your young adult is on their own journey.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: And while you can't walk this path for them, you can walk it beside them by staying informed, offering your unconditional support, and seeking help for them when needed is laying the foundation for their growth and well-being.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: And don't forget to have hope.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: With the right tools and guidance, young adults can thrive even in the face of mental health challenges.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: So please keep showing up and know that every effort you make matters.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you found this episode helpful, please share it with other parents who might need this encouragement.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, you are not alone.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sherry Jonas, and this is Launch.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: I hope today's episode gave you valuable insights and actionable steps that will help you guide your young adult to launch successfully into adulthood.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you found this topic helpful, feel free to leave a comment and hit the subscribe button so you never miss an episode.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: Leaving a five-star review helps us reach more parents who are dealing with the same issue.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: And if there's something you want to ask me, I invite you to join Launch Advice, my weekly publication where I answer one question from parents just like you.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's free advice that will appear in your inbox probably when you need it the most.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Just click Launch Advice in the show notes and don't forget to email me your confidential question.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, no one ever said parenting is easy, especially when you're raising an adult.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: Talk to you soon.