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When Your Ex Pops Back In: How to Break the Heartache Loop and Choose Peace · A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart

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  Speaker 1: If you clicked on this video, we are so sorry
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  Speaker 1: for what you're going through. Breakups and old heartaches are
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  Speaker 1: never easy. It's one of those things where one moment
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  Speaker 1: you could be carrying on with your life, doing just fine,
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  Speaker 1: then out of the blue, bam, your brain decides it's
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  Speaker 1: time for a throwback episode of your ex, the series.
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  Speaker 1: And there's no, are you still watching? prompt to save you.
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  Speaker 1: You might find yourself checking their socials, thinking of texting
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  Speaker 1: or calling them, or even worse, considering getting back with them. Well,
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  Speaker 1: you know damn well things ended because they needed to end.
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  Speaker 1: It's like rewatching the Vampire Diaries hoping Elena and Damon
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  Speaker 1: will work out this time, even though you know they're
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  Speaker 1: just gonna break up again in season 5. Your heart
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  Speaker 1: knows the script, but your brain keeps hoping for a rewrite.
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  Speaker 1: And here's the tea. Stats show that most people who
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  Speaker 1: break up and get back together usually end up breaking
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  Speaker 1: up again. It's the sad truth. A temporary happiness that
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  Speaker 1: doesn't last. You're basically signing up for Grey's Anatomy levels
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  Speaker 1: of relationship drama, except without the attractive doctors and dramatic
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  Speaker 1: hospital hallways. Just you, your phone, and a whole lot
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  Speaker 1: of what-ifs. But maybe you're one of the few lucky ones.
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  Speaker 1: You might go through a breakup to sealing the deal
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  Speaker 1: and getting married, have a few kids, and maybe years
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  Speaker 1: down the line, separate again. That's the inevitable truth of
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  Speaker 1: life in today's society. It's like friends. Everyone thinks Ross
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  Speaker 1: and Rachel are endgame, but let's be real, they'd probably
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  Speaker 1: be divorced by now with the joint custody of Emma.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe you marry someone and stick together till death do
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  Speaker 1: you part, or war happens where one of you has
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  Speaker 1: to leave, lose contact, Or worse, perish. If you're not
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  Speaker 1: in those circumstances, more commonly, you're stuck in the realm
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  Speaker 1: of choices. Where both men and women have options, it's
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  Speaker 1: so easy to simply go meet someone new instead of
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  Speaker 1: working on rebuilding the relationship together. It's like having Netflix, Hulu,
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  Speaker 1: HBO Max, and Disney +. Why stick with one show
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  Speaker 1: when you can binge watch something new? The problem is,
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  Speaker 1: you keep re-watching the old show you've already seen a
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  Speaker 1: hundred times. Today's video exists because many of you left
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: comments on our last video, How Are You? quiz about
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  Speaker 1: the big challenge of letting go. Whether it's letting go
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  Speaker 1: of something toxic, a past, or a heartache, letting go
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  Speaker 1: is fundamentally the thing that will make us happier. Easier
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  Speaker 1: said than done. Like telling someone, just don't think about
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  Speaker 1: pink elephants. Suddenly, all you see are pink elephants. So
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  Speaker 1: today's video is for those who have a hard time
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  Speaker 1: letting go. We're going to explore why your brain keeps
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  Speaker 1: replaying these memories like it's preparing for a Marvel Cinematic
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  Speaker 1: Universe marathon. And trust me, your ex is definitely not
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  Speaker 1: worth that many sequels. But we need to talk about
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  Speaker 1: why this happens. It's not because you're weak or broken.
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  Speaker 1: It's because your brain is trying to protect you. Your
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  Speaker 1: brain isn't broken. It's just doing its job terribly at timing.
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  Speaker 1: It categorizes emotional experiences as important survival information. So while
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  Speaker 1: you're trying to remember where you left your keys, your
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  Speaker 1: brain's over there like, but wait, let's review how they
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  Speaker 1: looked at you that one time at dinner. We need
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  Speaker 1: to analyze this for future survival. Thanks, brain. Really prioritizing
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  Speaker 1: the essentials here. It thinks it's helping you avoid future
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  Speaker 1: pain by replaying the old one. It means well, but
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  Speaker 1: it's like having a friend who shows up to help
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  Speaker 1: you move three months after you've already settled in. And
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  Speaker 1: that's the part that hurts the most, right? The laughter
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  Speaker 1: and the tears happening at the same time. The memory
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  Speaker 1: of a joke only they would get. The comfort of
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  Speaker 1: a hug you can no longer feel. Your brain is
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  Speaker 1: holding on to these things not just to torture you
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  Speaker 1: because they were once your safe space. And that's a
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  Speaker 1: really hard thing to let go of. It's okay to
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  Speaker 1: grieve that. It's okay to miss the comfort, even if
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  Speaker 1: the relationship was wrong for you. So, what can you
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  Speaker 1: actually do about it? Because you're tired of this. You're
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  Speaker 1: tired of the emotional loop, the late nights, the random triggers.
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  Speaker 1: You're ready to cancel that subscription box to your ex,
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  Speaker 1: the series. And I promise you, you can. But it
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  Speaker 1: takes action, not just waiting. First, let's talk about what
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  Speaker 1: not to do. And yes, this is the part where
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  Speaker 1: we get brutally honest. These are the things that will
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  Speaker 1: make letting go easier for you, not harder. Don't have
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  Speaker 1: a fling to get over them. Seriously, just don't. You'll
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  Speaker 1: end up feeling guilty comparing them to your ex and
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  Speaker 1: realizing you've just complicated your whole life with someone else's
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  Speaker 1: feelings while you're still a mess yourself. It's like trying
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  Speaker 1: to cure a headache by hitting yourself in the head
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  Speaker 1: with a hammer. It's a distraction, not a solution. And
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  Speaker 1: you'll wake up the next day with a bigger headache
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  Speaker 1: and an awkward, so this was nice, text to send.
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  Speaker 1: Don't send that long emotional text. You know the one.
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  Speaker 1: The one you've drafted in your head 50 times. Write
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  Speaker 1: it down. Get it all out. Scream it into a pillow.
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  Speaker 1: But don't send it. It's not for them. It's for you.
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  Speaker 1: Sending it is just asking for a response you don't
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  Speaker 1: really want. It's trying to get one last hit of
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  Speaker 1: that connection. And it never satisfies. It just resets the
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  Speaker 1: clock on your healing. And for the love of all
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  Speaker 1: that is holy, mute or block them. This isn't about
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  Speaker 1: being petty. It's about creating clean space for your mind
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  Speaker 1: to heal. You can't get over an addiction if you
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  Speaker 1: keep a little bit of the drug in your pocket.
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  Speaker 1: At a sight, out of mind isn't just the same.
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  Speaker 1: It's a neurological necessity. Okay, so what's the plan? What
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  Speaker 1: can you do right now, today, to start this process
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  Speaker 1: for real? First, do a memory purge. Get a box.
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  Speaker 1: Put everything that reminds you of them in it. The photos,
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  Speaker 1: the gifts, the t-shirt you sleep in. Put it all
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  Speaker 1: in a box and tape it shut. You don't have
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  Speaker 1: to throw it away, just put it out of sight.
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  Speaker 1: This is a physical act of telling your brain this
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  Speaker 1: chapter is closed. It's symbolic, but your brain loves symbolism. Second,
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  Speaker 1: write them a letter, not to send. Write down everything
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  Speaker 1: you want to say. The good, the bad, the I
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  Speaker 1: miss you, the I hate you, the thank you for
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  Speaker 1: the memories, and the I wish we never met. Get
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  Speaker 1: it all out on paper, then fold it up, put
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  Speaker 1: it in the box, and let it go. You're giving
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  Speaker 1: those feelings a place to live outside your own head. Third,
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  Speaker 1: move your body. I know, I know, everyone says this,
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  Speaker 1: but it's science. Heartbreak is a physical stress. Your blood
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  Speaker 1: is flooded with cortisol. You'll need to burn it off.
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  Speaker 1: Go for a run and pretend you're running away from
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  Speaker 1: your feelings. Lift something heavy and pretend it's the weight
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  Speaker 1: of their memory. Dance in your room like nobody's watching.
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  Speaker 1: Get the sadness out of your souls and into the sweat.
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  Speaker 1: And finally, connect with someone who isn't your ex. Call
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  Speaker 1: a friend, a parent, a sibling, someone who loves you
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  Speaker 1: for you. Remind yourself your identity isn't tied to that
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  Speaker 1: one person. You existed before them, and you'll exist after them.
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  Speaker 1: Your story is so much bigger than that one chapter.
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  Speaker 1: Letting go isn't a one-time event. It's a process. Some
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  Speaker 1: days will be harder than others, but you're not weak
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  Speaker 1: for still thinking about them. You are human for having
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  Speaker 1: loved so deeply that it left a mark. That mark
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  Speaker 1: is not a scar to be ashamed of. It's proof
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  Speaker 1: of your capacity to feel. And one day, sooner than
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  Speaker 1: you think, you'll wake up and realize... You made it
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  Speaker 1: through the whole night without them crossing your mind. And that,
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  Speaker 1: my friend, is the beginning of everything. You've got this.
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  Speaker 1: We promise. So go ahead, cancel that subscription. Your brain
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  Speaker 1: might send you a, we're sorry to see you go,
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  Speaker 1: here's 50% off to come back, offer. But you just
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  Speaker 1: have to click, no thanks, I'm good. Your mental cue
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  Speaker 1: is about to get a whole lot better. And now
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  Speaker 1: for our legally binding, not at all legally binding disclaimer.
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  Speaker 1: This video may and definitely won't work for everyone. Let's
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  Speaker 1: be honest. If you're watching this, the heartache has been
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  Speaker 1: with you for some time now, maybe even years. You've
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  Speaker 1: tried most things possible. You traveled. You met someone new,
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  Speaker 1: dated someone new. You moved to a new city, a
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  Speaker 1: new place. Even years later, you've moved on with your life,
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  Speaker 1: have a family, and out of the blue, the thoughts
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  Speaker 1: of an ex hit you. And you start screaming about
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  Speaker 1: all what could have been, and you wish you can
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  Speaker 1: press the rewind button and go back to the moment
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  Speaker 1: you parted ways and change everything. But it's too late.
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  Speaker 1: And all you can do now is deal with it
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  Speaker 1: day by day until the pain goes away. But here's
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  Speaker 1: the thing, the fact that pain is still there means
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  Speaker 1: you've loved. And isn't that a beautiful thing too? To
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  Speaker 1: know that you're able to meet someone who can leave
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  Speaker 1: a deep impact on you, whether it was right or wrong.
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  Speaker 1: You met someone who can still matter to you to
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  Speaker 1: this day. And whether your partner is gone like the
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  Speaker 1: wind or moved on with their life, at least the
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  Speaker 1: knowledge that someone like that exists means you can find
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  Speaker 1: someone else who will too. It would just take time.
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  Speaker 1: And if you need a little more magic to hold
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  Speaker 1: on to, Think of it like your name. Everything may
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  Speaker 1: have felt like a dream, but at some point, you
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  Speaker 1: will meet each other again, in a different form or
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  Speaker 1: a different timeline, if the thought comforts you. Or, you know,
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  Speaker 1: you'll meet someone new who doesn't leave you wondering what
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  Speaker 1: their name is. Either way. Look, healing is messy. It's
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  Speaker 1: not a straight line. But you're not alone in this.
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  Speaker 1: If this video was helpful, we also made a video
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: on common regrets of breakups, if that helps. And a
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: guided meditation video for heartbreak as part of our 10-part
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  Speaker 1: guided meditation series. We've got you. Now go cancel that subscription.
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  Speaker 1: For real this time.