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Dear Banya: Spiraling Scrubbers · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Scrubbing in with Beca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast That's right.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: We are hello, everybody. We are scrubbing it.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Rub a dub dub and the tub dub tum.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: How to ring to it? That sound? How you doing?
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Dan good? Hiding?
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Dan good? Dan good good?
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: How long is Haley out a town for for the
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: whole week?
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Two weeks?
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: Whoa?
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: Everyone hush follows over the room. I'm good.
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: Are you better with that? Better? Okay?
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: I'm better?
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: Good?
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm better. I'm healthier, mentally stronger, mentally right and
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: also sad.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: It's kind of sad, but I feel like the deeper
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: you get in your relationship, the more you're like, oh,
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: I kind of don't mind the freedom of this.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Oh no, I hate her being gone. That's like, I
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: hate it. It takes me a few days to like
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: adjust to sleeping and like, I just I love our
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: I love doing stuff like everything with her, and so
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: I think like having dinner together and going to bed
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: and having our show. You know, it's just like that.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Well, the nighttime routine is like sad, like and he's gone,
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: I'm like, this is sad, although I have.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: To say I have like the hardest time getting out
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: of bed and being productive if she's in bed next
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: to me. So like I'm way more productive in terms
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: of doing stuff, which is nice.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Oh that is nice because like.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: When I just want to be like sitting next to
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: her if she's there.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I like literally wept tears when I left, probably to
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: go to New York, like actual tears.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, that was right, yo, it just got very.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah I do that was a part of it.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: But like I keep telling him, I'm like, I know
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: the newlywed phase ends, because it's literally called like the
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: newlywed phase, but like I don't want it to end,
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Like how do we preserve this?
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Just get married every year?
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, or celebrate every month like or every month. Yeah,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I don't want to lose it.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Just never stop celebrating being in love.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: You know, I did a lot of really sweet dms.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I posted that something about like being newly wet and
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: I never want to like lose this feeling. And I
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: got a lot of dams from people who've been married
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: for like twenty years plus saying like they still feel
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: that same way about their husband, And I'm like Okay,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: so some people still can have it.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think. I think. I mean, you put in
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: the effort, you reap what you so mm hmm. The
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: grass is green where you water water it.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: So anyways, shall we get into some deer bonio questions?
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Was enough four play for you?
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: It wasn't quite the amount of four play that I
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: usually like, but it's fine for today.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: This is from a spiral thing scrubber. By the way,
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: I like that if you don't want to give us
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: your name, rather than just be anonymous, do something cute
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: with it, you know.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well I hate that she's spiraling, but yeah
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: that's true.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: But you know, come up with some alliterative signtu.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I like it too.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: Harod and hopeless. All right. This is from a spiral
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: link scrubber. I have been with my boyfriend five years.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: He's thirty one. I'll be thirty three in June. I
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: love him, I love our life together. We're figuring out
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: next steps as far as our future together. One thing
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: for me is I don't always feel our sexual chemistry.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: It's something I've stressed about throughout a relationship and have
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: tried not to overthink it. Don't get me wrong. We
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: are into it regularly, but I don't often crave him
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: or have vagina tingles, and can't say I had them
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: even early on in our relationship. Listening to your recent
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: dear binding episode of hearing about the almond milk versus
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: froyo with toppings sparks some anxiety. By the way, that
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: was really funny. I watched the Instagram for that and
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: left all over again. Should I be worried they don't
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: have those vagina singles? Am I with the wrong person?
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: Or can it be normal to just be content with
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: less sexual chemistry? Sincerely, a spiral link scrubber.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: Hmmm, you know what's interesting. It's totally fine to be
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: content if that's a you want. I always saw I
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: can be content like in my life before I met Haley,
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: I thought like, I can be happy and I can
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: feel content. But I now that I've had something more,
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: I realize how much more fulfilling it is to not
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: just be content with the person I'm with. I'm curious
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: about your thoughts on this, because you're very Before Robbie,
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: you were very much like vagina tingles.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: However, kind of no. I was never about no vagina tingles.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Are always a priority.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know that you prioritize them before Robbie.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: No, I think that vagina tingles can grow over time.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I don't think you just have instant vagina tingles all
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: the time. M hm. However, I did have those with
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Robbie right away. But I'm saying if it doesn't happen
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: right away doesn't mean that they're never gonna come. But
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: I do think they're important. You're sick.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: I was sick, but they've been together during my five years.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not coming, not coming after five years.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: I don't think you don't think they can develop after
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: five years.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: No, I think they can develop after a couple of months.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but do you think that it's something because you
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: know how I've referenced this episode before and everyone acted
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: like I was crazy. But we had like a sex
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: therapist on and it was over Zoom and she we
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: talked about how people have different sex languages or whatever
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: sex preference.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Episode seemed to escaping me.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: I know, maybe I did it alone.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Anyways, it is basically saying how people have different preferences,
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: like some people like like it very like straightforward and gentle,
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: and romantic. Some people have like kinks and like have things,
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: and if you're not catering to those things or feel like,
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: say enough to express those things, then you're not getting
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: what you want in a in a sexual capacity, right,
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: And so maybe something.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Is joy sixty nine. Some people don't.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: Simply put yes.
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: It's a fantastic example time.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: Simply put yes.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: But maybe she does and he's not giving her that.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Or maybe y'all haven't even had that conversation about
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: what you like in a very open and honest way,
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: because it's very vulnerable to share like the things that
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: you like and prefer if it's different from your partners.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: But if you haven't had that conversation, I would look
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: into into having that and seeing if the tingles can develop.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's this show, what's it called Goop? It was
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: like some sort of Gwyneth Paltrow show.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: I think that I just watched the show, and I
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: think I had a podcast about it.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: So I would suggest watching that show, because, yeah, you're right,
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: there are like different things and maybe like you'll, something
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: will like ign night spark and interest in you.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: But also here's my question for you, are you content
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: with just being content? In your relationship.
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: Here's a quote on this, and I'm curious that's your
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: thoughts about this quote because it is widely shared. It's
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: okay to head out for wonderful, but when you get
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: to all right, stop and look around, because this might
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: be as far as you need to go. Okay, all right, Well.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: I think we should strive for more than all right.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: But I think in your relationship with everything else is great.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: And this is a path that y'all haven't even gone
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: down in terms of discussing what you like. I think
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: you start with that and see if you can get
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: that craving and chemistry with him.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: And also I think that over time in a relationship,
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: these things can blossom in terms of knowing each other better. Yeah,
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: and then you're gonna look forward or do it more
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: because you have that deeper connection that it is formed.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: Well, that was the whole series that Goop did. It
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: was basically these couples that were in this like stagnant
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: place in their relationship.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: The like did like tantric sex stuff.
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you guys did interview Jaya Sexologist from Sex Love
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: and Goop on Netflix.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: Both of you talked to.
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: This was November one.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I knew it year great year, Yeah, but spiraling scrubber.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Start there and then look into your relationship and say,
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: am I just comfortable or is this a person I
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: want to spend my life with? Do you get tingles
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: in other places in your relationship out of sex? Like
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: do you get excited to go do things together? Do
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: you excited to do little things like having a routine
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: where you make dinner together or watch TV show?
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Does is there anything in the relationship that excites you
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: outside of sex? Because if the answer is no, then
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: I think you you are ready. You should seek wonderful
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: instead of all right, But if you have other areas
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: where you're like, I am so excited about this part
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: of our relationship, then this is something I think you
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: work on and nurture.
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: Yes, there we go. All right, great, Elle, says Hi Easton, Tanya, Mark,
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: and Becca, my best friend introduced me to y'all when
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: Tanya first started coming on the podcast. I'd love to
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: getting to know each of you and appreciate each of
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: you showing up for us each week. I just found
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: out I'm pregnant for the first time, and yesterday my
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: doctor told me it's twins. My husband and I instantly
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: started laughing out of shock really, but also because we
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: always said it was real possibility because they run on
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: both sides of our families, so of course it happened
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: to us. We are ecstatic but still in shock. Both
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: of our families live across the country. We want fun
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: ways to share it with them. How would you share
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: this news or how would you want to be told? Mark?
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: We may not have the time to tell them in
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: person before I start to actually show litt alone. Wanted
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: to get this secret out there to them. Ps, Tanya,
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: watch out. I may take the twin names Yo and
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: y'ah love you guys.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Might I suggest a different name? Tanya and Becca are
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: really good girl names.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Ya ya Tanya yah yah.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: And Cocabecca and yeah yeah, how to tell them as anything?
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: Jumping out?
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: What if you had twins deliver things to everybody? Like
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: a set of twins deliver flowers?
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: What I was thinking, like, do you have a dog
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: that can wear a shirt like I'm having sibling twins?
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: They live across the country.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Send a photo.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: For some reason. My TikTok feed right now is a
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: lot of this. It's a lot of telling my parents
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: I'm pregnant and wow, yeah, and it always makes me cry.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: So I think it doesn't really matter. A lot of
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: the ones I see are them just kind of casually
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: working it into conversation, like and man with the baby.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: Next year, we're gonna they're like, yeah, yeah, wait what
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: And that's always really a nice moment where you kind
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: of casually throw it into conversation and everyone has to
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: figure out what you just said. That's nice. Also, it
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: doesn't matter as the day at as the grandpa one day,
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: it doesn't matter.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go, yes, I know what you can do. Yeah, okay,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: you can send them all to get the sonograms and
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: print off a bunch of them and put them in
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: an envelope and send it to all your family that's
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: across the country and say I'm sending you a letter.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Please FaceTime me when you get it. That's cue, so
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: they FaceTime you say open, don't open it until you
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: FaceTime me. So you FaceTime it so you can record
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: the FaceTime and then you can say, okay, open it,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: and then you can get their reaction on video.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Oh this is a I don't hate this, and I
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: have something to add to it. Add to a baby
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: what if on the FaceTime you go, what do you
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: think it's gonna be? Because that's the whole thing, like
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: do you think it's a boy or girl? And then
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: they say, oh, I think it's gonna be a boy,
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: and and then you go, what about the other one?
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: God? Yeah, in the sonogram you'll see that there's two
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: in there. Don't want you?
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know if people don't know, if
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: they don't immediately study it, it's not easy. I mean
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: I don't think that early on, don't they might if
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: they have like the baby one, maybe two, or you
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: could just call and tell them you're pregnant and then
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: do the what do you think it is? And then
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: they're like oh, and then you're like, what about the
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: other one? What about the second one?
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: I remember what did on our show? She said, I
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: went in and then and we heard the heartbeat for
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: the first time. Yeah, and then we heard the other heartbeat.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: And that's.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Because I knew she was pregnant, but I didn't know
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: she was having twins.
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: You know, and friends when Monica and Chandler's uh, when
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: they're adopting the babies and it's Anna Faris and she
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: goes the second, Uh, you don't have much time before
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: the second one? And they so much time before or what?
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: And she goes the doctor said two heartbeats. I thought
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: he was talking about me and the baby. I love that.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, classic classic.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: Hannah has a question.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Hi, congrats l L Y so exciting two.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: Babies, yo and y'all yoing y'all, Hannah says, Hi, backa Tanya,
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: Mark and East. Then, first off, thank you so much
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: for the joy, the laughs, and the friendship you share
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: through the podcast. Every week. My best friend and I
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: listen to every episode and discuss them as if we're
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: sitting across the table from you, guys and chatting with
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: our closest friends. So small. I'm in my early thirties
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: and I'm dating with the intention of getting married. I
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: recently decided I want to wait until I'm in a
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: relationship to be intimate with someone. In the past, I've
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: been intimate with guys I was dating early on because
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: I felt like that was what they wanted and what
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: was expected, and when it ended, I felt hurt and
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: wished I hadn't done something I wasn't ready for. Recently,
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: I tried communicating my new boundary to a guy I
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: had just started dating. After that, he ended things with
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: me because he said it was important to him to
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: have a strong physical connection with someone before getting into
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: a relationship. I don't necessarily think this guy's my guy,
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: but I'm struggling with how to navigate dating intentionally and
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: respect my boundaries while also feeling like I'm constantly acting
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: as this gatekeeper of physical intimacy with guys. Would love
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: to hear your advice. Love you, and thank you for
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: all you do.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: I mean, I literally did this you did for four
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: years when I was dating, and I think that you don't.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: I think that you can still be physical and intimate
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: with somebody without having sex with them.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's a personal like she might not want to,
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: Like she might just want to kiss or something and
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: then that be it, because that might still feel like
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: giving a part of herself.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: But I'm still I still think that you can be
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: physical and intimate and just be like kissing somebody. I
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: still I think you can have an very intimate like
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: kissing session. Was that what you call it?
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Makeuh?
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like a little touching and like can't like I
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: just feel like that it doesn't need to be like,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: there doesn't need to just be nothing physical until there is,
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? I just like there's
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: a lot of gray area.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Well regardless of where her limits are. How did you
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: handle it in terms of telling guys and navigating that
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: part of what you were the boundary you were setting.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: I literally never set it as like any sort of stepback.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Like I was just like, oh, like And it's hard
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: to say because it kind of comes up naturally, like
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: in conversation when you're like talking about these types of things,
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: but I would I remember specifically, it did turn off
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: a couple guys, Like I feel like a couple guys.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: One guy never called me back after I said it
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: to him, but I was just kind of like whatever, Yeah,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: it was not like no skin off my back.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: I think the thing is you're doing something that's not typical.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: So the guy that you find that's going to be
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: your guy isn't going to be a typical guy.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: It's kind of a litmus test, isn't it. Like if
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: you said that to a guy and he heads for
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: the hills, it's not.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, I think you're you're set up for
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: success when you communicate your boundary because anyone who leaves
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: wasn't worth your time anyway.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think, like it's funny because I remember
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: I said it. I remember I told Robbing on our
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: first date about my sex thing. And I think it
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: was our second date, our second date.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: Was can I tell you about my sex thing? Scary
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: for him?
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: I think it was our second date or third day.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: It was one of our early dates, and I had
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: him come. He like came into my apartment and we
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: like had like this like makeout session on my couch
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: and he I remember him saying that, like he was
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: like totally thrown off because it was like so like
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: intimate and like sexual, but like he just wasn't because
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: of what I had shared. He just wasn't expecting it,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: you know. And so I think that I don't know,
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: I just feel like the wrong guys are going to
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: be turned off. And that is what it is. Like
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: you're just gonna you're gonna come in contact with There's
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: gonna be many There were many guys that didn't want
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: anything to do with me after they found that out,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: And it.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Might be that they have a reaction in terms of like, oh,
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: I wasn't expecting that which is okay. I just think
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: if they're not willing to respect it or want to
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: date you with that boundary, then good riddance.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: And you're going to find plenty that do I promise?
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, my wife told me something similar we're first dating,
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: and the fact that I didn't run, I think was
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: a sign that I'm, yeah, I worth investing some time in.
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: This might be a weird comparison, but I was thinking
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: about how was it van Halen that would ask for
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: the brown m and ms. They would ask in their
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: tour writer. They'd be in the dressing room, we want
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: only brown eminem's. And it wasn't like to be divas.
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: It was like, if they're if they get that detail right,
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: that means they're reading the whole contract, and that means
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: that we can trust that, like everything's going to be
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: safe and like done the right way. If they screw
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: up that detail, who knows what else they're going to
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: screw up. And I think that when you maybe I'm
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: off here, but I think when.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: You make like it's like a weird comparison.
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: And stay with me saying I think that if you say, like,
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: this is something that's important to me, and they run
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: for the hills, like, oh, who knows what else they
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: would have not respected?
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I think that's a great comparison. You look
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: for your brown Eminem's right, that's right.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, there's more.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: We have a did I self sabotage?
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: Sabotage.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: We're going to take a break first, all right, this
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: is this is a sad title because I I'm already
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: anticipating something unfortunate.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: Well, it's anonymous, she says. Hi, Tanya, Becka Easton, and Mark.
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: I'm a Day one listener and I love you all
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: in your perspective so much. I'm a Tanya through and through,
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: So keep that in mind for this doozy of an email. Recently,
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: I started dating a guy. He seemed like an answered prayer.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: He checked off so many boxes. He's thirty five, twenty nine.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: I've never been in a relationship, only talking in situationships.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: He had gotten out of a relationship two years ago
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: and mentioned that it didn't end well, so I think
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: he was a bit gunshy for a relationship. We were
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: dating for two months, one on eight dates, but his
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: texting was awful. It would take him days to respond
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: to me. He went away in vacation for a week.
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: From midweek. I asked how it was going, and he
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: didn't respond till he was back, which I understood, but
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: we were texting for the next few days. He sent
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: me some photos from the vacation, et cetera, so I
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: playfully asked when he wanted to see me again, and crickets.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: At this point, I was just annoyed by the consistent
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: inconsistency for two months, so I tended to tech. I
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: said the text basically saying I like spending time with you,
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: but not being respond to you for days doesn't feel
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: great for me. I want something serious. If you don't,
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: that's fine, but if so, let's figure out what works
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: for us. Maybe he really hates texting, so I was
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: trying to find a solution. I got nothing, no response, ghosted.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: I thought maybe he thought I was so I said
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: to one line text saying that was not meant to
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: be ending things. Just wanted to have a conversation about expectations.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: So if that came off differently, it wasn't my intent.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: My question is should I have not said anything? Did
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: I self sabotage? Do I have to play hard to
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: get to find someone to love?
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: Me.
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: I'm a lover girl, and I want to show the
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: people that I care about them, and I want that
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: to be reciprocated. I'm just exhausted. Do I have to
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: change who I am to get a guy to chase me?
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: Thank you for reading my email. I value your opinions
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: and I love you all for being you and the
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: community that you've built.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: I could just be I could just multiple texts clarifying things.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: Isn't this isn't your guy? Nope, here's the thing. Do
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: you have to play hard to get? No? I don't
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: think that's the case. But I also remember, specifically, like
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: when Tanya and Robbie were dating, when he was still
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: kind of they were not.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: Hard to get with him. Whatever you do, I'm like, here,
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: I am on a silver platter.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: I know, and you did, but he didn't. He wasn't
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: immediately like trying to lock you down to be his
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: girlfriend until you went on another date and opened yourself
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: up to exploring other options. Yes, And I think that
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: that kind of falls into the category of hard to
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: get because you're basically saying I'm not just even though
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: you were, I'm not just here for you to make
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: your decision, like I'm gonna I'm not gonna sit here
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: and wait for you to want to lock me down.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna go and and explore other options, even though
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: you were very locked in on Robbie.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But I was also very transparent about it. I
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: wasn't like playing games. I wasn't like no, no, no.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: I was very upfront with him. I was like, Okay,
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: if you don't want to be in an exclusive relationship,
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: that's fine, I'm gonna start dating other people. And I did.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I hated it. My advice to you, Anonymous,
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: is this is not your guy. He doesn't seem mature
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: enough to even have a conversation with you, which is
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: so rude beyond like, sure, maybe your multiple texts freaked
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: him out a little bit, like let's just be on
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: as it could have very well been that, but also
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: he owes you a conversation, and this is not your guy,
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: because your guy, even if he was freaked out, he'd
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: be like hey, sorry, Like I got a little overwhelmed
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: by the text, but I wanted to take a few
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: days to think about it.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: I believe you cannot say the wrong thing to the
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: right person. I believe it.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: Sorry, No, that's what I'm saying. I think that if
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: this was her guy, he wouldn't have just ghosted her.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: I had so much verbal diarrhea in the early days
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: with every guy that I dated. There was no holding
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: me back.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: Well, Sierra was kind of texting for you, so we
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: hooked Robbie through Sierra's game.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, fair, but I took over it in person. At
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: some point you did. I don't know how far you had.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: To get help.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: You was at the table behind you whispering things to
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: say to him, if.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: I recall right, and that would be so sad anonymous.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: You deserve someone who can have a conversation and ease
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: your anxiety and anxiousness. I guess that's anxiety around this situation.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: You deserve someone who is upfront with you and can
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: be direct and also wants to talk to you and
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: wants to hear from you, and this guy is not it.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: I agree, when you find the right guy, it will
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: be easy.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: And d Yeah.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: Hi Beg a tiny Eastern and Mark, my best friend
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: of eighteen years, who considered more like a sister, has
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: been married for seven years as two sweet little girls
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: with her husband. Last summer, he found out that she
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: had been talking to her ex boyfriend for a little while,
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: nothing ever happened. They live in separate countries, but they
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: were texting and calling. Her husband found out that I
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: knew she was talking to him, and now refuses to
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: let her hang out with me, and it's a fight
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: every time she wants to. My best friend and I
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: have hung out a couple times since then, but she's
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: explained to me he does not want her to be
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: friends with me or want me around their daughters. I
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: ask every couple of months to get dinner or a
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: drink for this, I was an excuse not to. I've
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: always liked him, We've gotten along. We'd have double dates
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: and game nights with my boyfriend tagging along. I've always
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: asked my best friend to ask him if he would
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: chat with me directly, but he says no. He thinks
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: I should have told him about the X when I
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: found out, and maybe I should have, But my loyalty
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: is to my best friend. I miss her and the
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: girl so much and can't imagine going through life without them.
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: Should I reach out to him directly? Should I keep
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: reaching out to her? What do I do? Thank you
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: for bringing so much joy? Love? And laughter too. My
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: life every week. I love you guys in this podcast
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: so much.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Oh. I was gonna say she should have a conversation
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: with him, but he doesn't want to.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: But that's all you can do, I think your I
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: think all you can do is reach out to him
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: and keep reaching out to him, and that's like the
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: best that you can do. I don't think she can
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: keep going through her best friend. Clearly he doesn't want
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: to hear it that if.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: He won't talk to I think she should reach out
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: to him and see and be like, can we please talk?
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: Like I want to have a conversation with you, and
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: you know it be like a direct conversation. And if
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: he doesn't respond, I think you should. I would send
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: a text and just like say what I would need
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: to say, because that would drive me so crazy.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, or send him an email an email apologize for.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: Like yeah, like yeah, maybe or whatever put me in
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: a bad spot, but my loyalty is to her.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: Like I'll regret it forever, like I don't know whatever,
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: or just like apologize and say I really miss your
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: girls and like whatever. Yeah, like I but you can't ford.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, he's clearly hurting and I think time heals.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's hurting and might not know how to handle
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: it in the most productive or mature way. But I
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: think that you have a chance to at least send
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: something that shares your side.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's an interestingynamic I've seen in relationships over the years.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: When a partner feels betrayed by their partner, it's hard
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: for them to put all of that on the partner
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: because they have to continue this marriage relationship, and so
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: they find someone else to be the scapegoat. Yeah, and
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: so he's putting all of this feeling of her. I
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: don't know if she betrayed her or what he feels betrayed.
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: He's putting all of that in the best friend who
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: really had very little to do with it, but knew
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: about it. So she has become the face of this
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: issue in their marriage. And I don't know that he's
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: going to get past that. But how many times have
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: you seen that, Like a guy cheats and the wife
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: forgives the husband, but she's never going to forgive that
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: woman that he's slept with, that monster, you know. But
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: they were equally responsible, obviously, But that happens. It's like
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: a coping mechanism if this marriage is going to continue,
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: I have to forgive her, so I got to move
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: that to someone else. So, I mean it's kind of sad.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: I don't know how you get past it.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: You just got to keep trying keep chip chip chipping away.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it might not it might not ever
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: be at a place that you wanted to be at.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: But I think if you can just like apologize to
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: him and get it on out, whether it's in a
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: conversation or email or whatever, I think that's that will
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: be as much as you can do about the situation.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: Sorry, that sucks, all right. We have one more and
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: it's about a mother in law issue, and those are
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: those are fraught. The wife mother in law relationship is
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: fascinating and we'll get to that next.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: In law drama. In law drama, I'm coming.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: Dear Becca, Tanya Mark and Easton. I met my husband
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: in college in the Midwest over ten years ago. We've
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: been married for six years, two young children, three and one.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: We moved to my home on the Ghost in twenty seventeen.
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: My husband and I've been arguing a lot later about
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: visiting his home more often. Here's the situation. Our children
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: are both very young flying is expensive, and his mother
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: and I do not get along. She's caused a lot
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: of hurt and anxiety. She's very opinionated, and ever since
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: we've had children, we just don't do well around each other.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: It's gotten so bad with her that I told my
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: husband she can no longer stay with us when she visits.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: We live in a small apartment. Her negative energy takes
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: up so much space in this home. Now she won't
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: fly out here because she wants to stay with us. Financially,
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: she can't afford it. My issue is not flying out
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: to visit his family. My issue is how long my
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: husband wants to go. He said a minimum of two weeks.
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: I don't have the kind of vacation time I've been
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: going for that long with young kids. It's fair to
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: them and their schedules either. I've encouraged him to take
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: as long as he wants out there. That makes him happy,
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: but he says he doesn't want to go without all
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: of us. Please help, love, love, love you all start
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: listening in twenty twenty. Thank you for all you do
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: for creating such an amazing scrubbing in community.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: Hmmm, that's so hard.
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: It is hard because that's the compromise, and we've done
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: that in my marriage. I don't have three weeks off.
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: But you want to go see every cousin, every nuncle. Great,
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: you go, bring the kids first week, I'll join you
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: after a couple of weeks. That's the compromise. He goes
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: by himself for a week and then you join him, yeah,
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: or whatever. So the fact that he's so digging in
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: his heels over this, I don't know what you mean.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I also feel like she's digging in her
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: heels over the fact that, like she doesn't get along
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: with the mother in law, she doesn't want to two.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: Weeks if she doesn't have the vacation time.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: No, I know, I agree, but I feel like she
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: doesn't want to go at all.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: I think I think the compromise is he goes like
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: you do, Mark. I think it's he goes spends time
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: with them, it takes the kids. If he wants to
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: take that one.
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he probably doesn't want to.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: She can give him that option.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: And then so when she has for the amount of
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: vacation time she has, she can file to meet them.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I also think too, like this is even though
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: you don't get along like this is his mom, she
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: is your mother, and married it to this family forever,
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: And I think you have to, Like what I've realized
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: is you have people are gonna be like, take people
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: as they are. People are going to be the way
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: that they are. You have to just accept it and
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: not let it affect you. That's like the whole trick
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: of life, is what I'm realizing, is like people are
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: going to be how they are. You just can't let
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: it affect and impact you.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but there's people in your life who act a
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: certain way and it affects you. What do you mean,
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: like if you're around them, like their energy affects you.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but this is this is this is his her,
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: this is her husband's mother.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: I know, but it's and it sucks that it that
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: this is the relationship. But it's it's easy to just like,
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: don't let it affect you, but it it clearly does.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: Like if you're going and staying in someone's house and
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: you were just like butting heads with them the whole time,
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: and like everything you told the kids to do or
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: they challenged you on it or whatever it was, would
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: I have you crazy? But I agree? I mean, you
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: married into his family and that's like when you get married.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: That's that's part of it. Yeah, and I think that
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: whether it's like y'all get a hotel and and so
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: you have a little separation from it of like you're
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: making the effort to go visit, but you know that's
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: more money and it might cause drama. But it seems
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: like the drama's already there. Like if she can't stay
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: at the house when she comes to visit, I don't
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: think her staying in a hotel would be like a
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: breaking point.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you do have to suck it up as far
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: as the bomb goes. I mean, I get her not
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: staying with you. I mean that's a lot, but that's
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: also a tough thing to bring up.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: Yeahad to see you.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: Like, it's kind of like if you've got through that hump,
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: then you should be able to go and just book
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: a hotel and stay.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, friction disconnect here. Yeah, So man, matter.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Like babysit the kids, like you go take time.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: Some point if you're feeling brave, have a conversation about
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: the tension and why it's there and what you can do.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: Because you're both a relationship better, you're both gonna be
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: with each other forever.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's like have a conversation of like, what
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: can I do to to make this better?
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: I agree, but good.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: Luck anonymous thinking of you. That's very hard.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: If y'all ever have any emails, advice success that you
• 32:33
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• 32:37
  Speaker 2: in pot or email us at scrubbing in at iHeartMedia
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: dot com. We love hearing from you. We love our
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: Dear Bonnie episodes.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: Ask us anything anything, and if.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: Like even if you're just telling us something that you
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: like want to be celebrated for and you need some
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: like celebrated words, come to us. Yeah, celebrate you.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: You just got out of a toxic relationship. You finally
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: got up the nerve to just end it.
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: Good for you that tell us about it. Yeah, we
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: love you so much. Have a wonderful weekend. To be
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: continuous