Latest / The Promotion Memo with Fexingo: Getting Visibility, Sponsors, and Executive Presence / The Reverse Reference Check That Landed a Promotion
Transcript
- Lucas: So, have you ever had a manager tell you that you're 'not quite ready' for a promotion, and you have no idea what that means? Luna: Yeah, that vague feedback is the worst. It's like, give me a clue, at least. Lucas: Right. Well, today I want to talk about a tool that might help you decode that mystery. It's called a reverse reference check, and it's exactly what it sounds like. Instead of asking someone to vouch for you to a future employer, you're interviewing people about how you're currently perceived. Luna: Okay, that's interesting. So you're basically doing a reference check on yourself? Lucas: Exactly. And I have a specific case. A senior analyst at a mid-sized bank, let's call her Priya. She was up for a senior manager role, and her boss kept saying she needed to 'demonstrate more strategic thinking.' But she had no idea what that looked like in practice. Luna: So what did she do? Lucas: She decided to do a reverse reference check. She reached out to three people: a former manager, a peer she'd mentored, and a stakeholder from another department. She asked them three questions. First, what are the top two or three things I'm known for? Second, where do I have blind spots that might hold me back? And third, if I were to get promoted, what would you want me to work on first? Luna: That's a pretty structured approach. And what did she find? Lucas: The responses were eye-opening. Her stakeholder said she was seen as the go-to person for execution, but not for shaping the strategy. Her former manager mentioned she tended to stay in the weeds, and that sometimes leadership wanted her to step back and see the bigger picture. Luna: So it confirmed the vague feedback, but with specifics. Lucas: Right. And the key was, she used that to build her promotion packet. Instead of just listing deliverables, she framed her impact in terms of strategic outcomes. She highlighted a project where she'd led a cross-functional team to cut processing time by twenty percent, and she explicitly noted how she'd aligned it with the bank's broader efficiency goals. Luna: That's a great example of turning feedback into action. But I'm curious, how do you even approach someone for a reverse reference check without it being awkward? Lucas: Good question. It's all about framing. You say something like, 'I'm looking to grow in my role, and I value your perspective. Could I ask a few questions about how you see my strengths and areas for development?' People usually appreciate being asked. Luna: And you're not asking them to write anything, which might feel more comfortable. Lucas: Exactly. It's a conversation. And you want to pick people who will be honest with you, not just cheerleaders. Priya chose people who had seen her work closely and who she trusted to give constructive feedback. Luna: So, what are the risks? Could this backfire if someone tells you something you don't want to hear? Lucas: Absolutely, that's a real risk. But I'd argue that hearing it now, in a private conversation, is better than hearing it in a review or from a promotion committee. You have a chance to respond, to work on it, to change the narrative. Luna: That's true. But what if you hear something that seems totally off-base? Like, someone says you're not a team player, but you think you are. How do you handle that? Lucas: You take it as data, not as truth. If you hear the same theme from multiple people, then it's likely a real perception. If it's just one person, maybe it's a specific situation. Either way, you can ask for examples and then decide what to do with it. Luna: I like that. It's like a 360 review but more focused on your future, not just your past. Lucas: Exactly. And that's what I think makes this different from a typical self-assessment. A self-assessment is all about what you did. A reverse reference check is about how others experienced it. And in a promotion conversation, perception matters a lot. Luna: Yeah, I've seen people who are great at their job but don't get promoted because they don't have the right visibility. This seems like a way to get that visibility in a structured way. Lucas: Now, let's talk about what Priya did with this information. She didn't just change her self-assessment. She also adjusted her behavior over the next few months. For example, she started volunteering for projects that had a strategic component, and she made a point to present her findings to senior leadership, not just her direct team. Luna: So she used the feedback to create a plan, not just a narrative. Lucas: Right. And that's what made the difference. When she went into her next review, she could point to specific actions she'd taken since her last conversation, and she had concrete evidence of her strategic thinking. She got the promotion. Luna: That's a great outcome. But I wonder, is this something you can do at any level, or is it more for people mid-career? Lucas: I think it's useful at any level, but the questions change. A junior person might ask about skills they need to develop. A senior person might ask about executive presence or how they handle ambiguity. It's about calibrating your self-perception to reality. Luna: And it's not just for promotions either. I could see this being useful when you're starting a new role or trying to make a shift to a different function. Lucas: Definitely. And on that note, I have to say, if you're thinking about trying this, the coffee analogy comes to mind. The whole process takes maybe thirty minutes of your time and a few conversations. It's a small investment for potentially a big payoff. Luna: Yeah, and it's free, unless you count the coffee you'd buy to say thanks. But speaking of coffee, if you've found value in this podcast and you want to keep it ad-free, you can support us at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Every little bit helps us keep making episodes like this. Lucas: Exactly. No pressure, but if today's topic saved you from a vague 'not ready' conversation, maybe that's worth a cup. Now, back to it. So, what's the one thing you should do if you're thinking about a reverse reference check? Luna: I'd say start with two or three people you trust and who will be honest. And don't just do it once, maybe do it twice a year. It's like a health check for your career. Lucas: That's a great way to put it. And remember, the goal isn't to get a list of compliments. It's to get a clear picture of how you're showing up, so you can make intentional changes. That's what got Priya her promotion, and it's a strategy anyone can use. Luna: I'm actually thinking about trying this before my next review. I have a few people in mind who I think would give me straight answers. Lucas: Do it. And if you do, I'd love to hear how it goes. Who knows, it might make a good episode. Luna: Ha, yeah. Well, that's all for today. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time on The Promotion Memo. Lucas: Take care, everyone.