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69. King Alfonso XIII - The Raunchiest Royal · Who Did What Now With Katie Charlwood

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Speaker 1: You're listening to an airwave media podcast. Hi everybody, and
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Speaker 1: welcome to Who Did What Now? The history podcast that's
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Speaker 1: not your history class with me your host Katie Charlewood,
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Speaker 1: history harlot and reader of books. Welcome back everybody, and
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Speaker 1: if you are new here, congratulations you've stumbled upon Who
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Speaker 1: Did What Now? Where?
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Speaker 2: My words are.
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Speaker 1: As vibrant as a neon sign on a Vegas strip,
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Speaker 1: So you might want to brace yourself for a roller
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Speaker 1: coaster ride of expressive language that could make even the
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Speaker 1: most seasoned linguists blush. If you are allergic to expletives
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Speaker 1: and fine colorful language offensive, maybe consider this your chance
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Speaker 1: to exit gracefully. But if you're ready to dive headfirst
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Speaker 1: into my linguistic whirlpool, buckle up and prepare for a
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Speaker 1: verbal adventure that's anything but beige. I had to get
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Speaker 1: beige in there. Can you tell a practice that I did?
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Speaker 1: I practiced that a lot. Oh. I was like, let's
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Speaker 1: go with color puns. But yeah, it's been it's been
1:15
Speaker 1: an interesting week. If you've been following me on social media,
1:19
Speaker 1: you'll know why. If you have not been following me
1:22
Speaker 1: on social media, I went viral again and this time
1:27
Speaker 1: for something I didn't actually think was gonna do anything.
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Speaker 1: I literally thought like maybe a couple thousand people would
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Speaker 1: see it. I wasn't expecting literally millions of people to
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Speaker 1: see my face, which is weird and daunting because it's
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Speaker 1: been a while. I realized recently because I had to
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Speaker 1: go through my old videos because it was like, have
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Speaker 1: you ever gone viral before?
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Speaker 3: And it's like, yeah, a couple.
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Speaker 1: Of times, I've hit the millions a few times. One
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Speaker 1: was discussing Cinderella's prince have the clap. The other was
2:02
Speaker 1: about Mother Teresa being just an awful person, which got
2:07
Speaker 1: removed again.
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Speaker 2: And I'm way past the.
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Speaker 1: Like the appeal stage, and I'm like, well, now I
2:15
Speaker 1: have to make another video about how awful Mother Treesa is.
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Speaker 1: I just won't deliberately call her trash, and I will
2:21
Speaker 1: phrase it in a way that shows how awful she
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Speaker 1: is without it without getting reported, hopefully Jesus. I just yeah,
2:29
Speaker 1: but yes, So I did this video. I did this
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Speaker 1: video on the Titanic, and it was about survivors not
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Speaker 1: being believed. Because if you know me, if you've been
2:39
Speaker 1: listening for a while, then you know that my specific
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Speaker 1: area of expertise is misinformation, sensationalism and propaganda, like that's
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Speaker 1: this is my my core skill set, you know. And
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Speaker 1: so I happen to know this piece of information and
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Speaker 1: I was like, well, you know what, I'll just make
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Speaker 1: a video on it. Everyone's talking about it. It'll be fine.
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Speaker 1: Just maybe some people will see it. It will be nice.
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Speaker 3: Some people did.
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Speaker 1: And then I was like in the news I was
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Speaker 1: in I was on the Daily Mirror and I was
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Speaker 1: in news Week.
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Speaker 2: I was on Desert News. I don't even know what
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Speaker 2: Desert News is, but I'm in it. That's interesting.
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Speaker 1: And then I'm also in the Dunnygull News who interviewed me. Actually,
3:28
Speaker 1: so when I was in the Dunnygull News, it was
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Speaker 1: very funny to me because more people were excited about
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Speaker 1: that than they were about me being in global publication
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Speaker 1: news week, Like.
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Speaker 2: I'm in the local paper and people are just like.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, like they're so into it. Was like if I
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Speaker 1: was on like an Irish TV show, I think people
3:51
Speaker 1: would just lose their minds. Like I could show up
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Speaker 1: on the Graham Norton Show and people would be like
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Speaker 1: that's fine. I could be sitting weirdly close to Drew
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Speaker 1: barrymore just she does like to get off they close
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Speaker 1: to people, and I'm not against it.
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Speaker 2: So I could be there. I could be doing that.
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Speaker 1: I could be with Kelly Clarkson singing in a key
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Speaker 1: that no one else is familiar with, you know, I
4:17
Speaker 1: could be doing that.
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Speaker 2: I could be doing that.
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Speaker 1: But if I were to show up on the Late
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Speaker 1: Late Show, people would just their brains.
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Speaker 2: Would explore out their head, you know.
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Speaker 1: I mean, people would just be will into like there's
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Speaker 1: something strange and lovely about it. It's just that sort
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Speaker 1: of local love. It just really really gets you a weepit.
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Speaker 1: So that's been an interesting week or so for me.
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Speaker 1: It's it has learned to the typical you know nonsense.
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Speaker 1: I've had turfs on my back because of the whole
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Speaker 1: James Barry thing. I've had angry misogynists, Like I had
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Speaker 1: so many people being like, why are you making this
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Speaker 1: a gender issue. I'm not making it a gender issue.
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Speaker 1: It clearly was a gender issue. I am just providing
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Speaker 1: you the details of it, including interviews with survivors, Like
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Speaker 1: I had all these sources that I had meticulously collected
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Speaker 1: over the years, and I had this ready to go,
5:21
Speaker 1: you know, and then of course there's a fellows being like,
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Speaker 1: why are you being so divisive? And it's like, I'm
5:30
Speaker 1: not being divisive. You're the one who's being divisive because
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Speaker 1: I'm just pointing out an equality and you're getting really
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Speaker 1: really mad about it. And that's something I always find
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Speaker 1: just very interesting because it's so close to the point,
5:47
Speaker 1: but it's like they just haven't grasped it yet. It's
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Speaker 1: this whole thing of why people have an issue. It's
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Speaker 1: usually men, and it's usually men, Like why do they
6:00
Speaker 1: have an issue with feminism? Like why is feminism seen
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Speaker 1: as a dirty word to them? Like why is the
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Speaker 1: concept of women having equality or being higher up the
6:15
Speaker 1: ladder than them? Why is this an issue? Because, let's
6:20
Speaker 1: face it, straight white men have been at the top
6:23
Speaker 1: of this ladder, and if they believe that the system
6:26
Speaker 1: is correct and that everything is working and that everything
6:28
Speaker 1: is fine, then they shouldn't mind being lowered down on
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Speaker 1: the ladder or even sharing the top sport Like, I
6:37
Speaker 1: don't see why it's an issue. If everything is fine
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Speaker 1: and you believe people are being treated fairly, why do
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Speaker 1: you have an issue with someone else being at the
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Speaker 1: top of the ladder. Is there some way that people
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Speaker 1: are being treated when they're not at the top of
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Speaker 1: the ladder that you are worried that that's going to
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Speaker 1: happen to you.
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Speaker 2: Hm hmm.
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Speaker 1: But yet it has been a wild week for me,
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Speaker 1: and there's just so much going on, Like I'm genuinely
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Speaker 1: considering getting an agent because there's so much happening. I mean,
7:10
Speaker 1: I've got a literary agent, which is fine because I have.
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Speaker 2: To get those books.
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Speaker 3: I have to get those books in. I have to
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Speaker 3: get the chapters in.
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Speaker 2: They're not finished yet.
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Speaker 1: I have been working on them, so that is progress.
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Speaker 1: But I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that your
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Speaker 1: jibber jabber in fact me, in fact you. I will,
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Speaker 1: But first we've got to get our source on King
7:30
Speaker 1: Alfonso and his Age by Sir Charles Petrie, Raising Heirs
7:36
Speaker 1: to the Throne in nineteenth century Spain. The Education of
7:39
Speaker 1: the Constitutional Monarchy by Carolyn Harris. Magnificent Monarchs by Ian Locke.
7:45
Speaker 1: A King with a Mission, The humanitarian deeds of Alfonso
7:48
Speaker 1: the Thirteenth during the Great War, King Alfonso the Thirteenth
7:51
Speaker 1: of Spain World War One by Anti Ho The Dictatorship
7:55
Speaker 1: of Primo de Rivera, A political reassessment by Sholomobenemei Arrogant Armies,
8:00
Speaker 1: Great military Disasters and the generals behind them by James Perry,
8:04
Speaker 1: Alfonso Thirteenth and Politico and El Torono Javier Reno Luzion
8:11
Speaker 1: The Manual of Political and Social History of Spain by
8:14
Speaker 1: Miuel Martorel Callandario Generald Redno Italia by the Italian Ministry.
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Speaker 2: This is my best.
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Speaker 1: That's nineteen twenty. The Spanish Monarche from nineteen thirty nine
8:25
Speaker 1: to nineteen seventy five by jose Pina Gonzalez. Alphonso The
8:30
Speaker 1: Playboy King by Sarah Navas. Thank God I took out
8:34
Speaker 1: the duck scene by wild will at the Court of
8:37
Speaker 1: his Catholic Majesty by.
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Speaker 3: William Mother Collier Born a King.
9:17
Speaker 1: Or Passages from the Early History of Alphones of the
9:19
Speaker 1: thirteenth by Francis and Mary Arnold Forster. Modernizing the Nation
9:33
Speaker 1: Spain during the reign of Alphons of the thirteenth by
9:37
Speaker 1: Javier Moreno Luton.
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Speaker 3: I use it in comfortably good.
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Speaker 1: Then let's begin. Now you may have noticed, or it
9:46
Speaker 1: may have surpassed you, is that this is episode sixty nine,
9:50
Speaker 1: and so I wanted to talk about something A wee
9:52
Speaker 1: bit smutty at the very least, and I happened to
9:56
Speaker 1: already know a little bit of information about the Randy
9:58
Speaker 1: Royal together a wee Randy Royal series, and I felt
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Speaker 1: like sharing information about King Alfonso of Spain, who is
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Speaker 1: just one of my favorite Randy Royals, just because it's
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Speaker 1: very rare to have a king or a noble or
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Speaker 1: any person to have both a private pornographic cinema and
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Speaker 1: a nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize. So I thought,
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Speaker 1: this is definitely one for the books, or at the
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Speaker 1: very least one for the pods, because I mean, you know,
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Speaker 1: there's like King Charles the Second, there was Catherine the Great,
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Speaker 1: there was people, there were options, but like I very
10:44
Speaker 1: rarely talk about men on the podcast, which has been
10:46
Speaker 1: pointed out to me as well, like you never talk
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Speaker 1: about men. I was like, I know, it's just most
10:52
Speaker 1: of them aren't really that interesting.
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Speaker 3: So I thought, you know what.
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Speaker 1: Two Birds one Stone talk about a man talk about
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Speaker 1: I'm smitty, talk about of Randy Royal.
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Speaker 2: It's fun.
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Speaker 1: Let's just let's just roll into it. Let's get his
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Speaker 1: personal life off, shall we. So Alfonso on the seventeenth
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Speaker 1: of May eighteen eighty six. Alfonso was born at the
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Speaker 1: Royal Palace of Madrid. He was the son of Alfonso the.
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Speaker 3: Twelfth of Spain.
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Speaker 1: So when he's born, he's born as king, right, So
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Speaker 1: his dad had died in November eighteen eighty five, December, January,
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Speaker 1: March April May. Okay, cool, you know, I was just
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Speaker 1: doing a little bit of my counting on my fingers.
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Speaker 3: So he was born.
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Speaker 1: Alfonso Leon, Fernando Maria, Jamie, Acidro Pascual, Antonio de Burbon,
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Speaker 1: Habsburgo Lorena.
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Speaker 2: Did I pronounce that guy?
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Speaker 1: So I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish. So yeah, he
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Speaker 1: is the posthumous son of the previous king of Spain.
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Speaker 1: So after he was born, Now, he didn't have a
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Speaker 1: normal start, right, He didn't have a normal start because.
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Speaker 2: When he was born, he was.
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Speaker 1: Brought naked upon a silver.
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Speaker 3: Platter to the Spanish Prime minister.
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Speaker 1: Listen, I never expect a royal to be typical in
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Speaker 1: any way.
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Speaker 2: I don't expect normality.
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Speaker 1: But naked served on a platter to a prime minister
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Speaker 1: just seems like a weird like a weird thing. Behold,
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Speaker 1: the king takes the tray off like there's a baby
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Speaker 1: surrounded by salad leaves. Ah, it's like this scene in
12:51
Speaker 1: The Little Mermaid, were like he lays the club and it's.
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Speaker 2: Just oh god, like a suckling pick or something, and
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Speaker 2: it's really it's so disturbing to me.
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Speaker 3: He has a baby on a silver platter.
13:06
Speaker 2: What the fuck.
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Speaker 1: Royals were weird, man, That's all I'm saying. So his
13:15
Speaker 1: mother was Maria Christina of Austria. So just as well
13:20
Speaker 1: when I like add her in there, because I feel
13:21
Speaker 1: like I forgot her for a minute. So spin as
13:25
Speaker 1: you know, pretty Catholic, Pretty Catholic. So five days after
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Speaker 1: his birth, he gets baptized right now, from the get go,
13:36
Speaker 1: this is absolutely extra right.
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Speaker 3: So he is wrapped in a.
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Speaker 1: Golden fleece, right, golden fleece, m hm.
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Speaker 3: And is baptized with water.
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Speaker 1: Brought from the River Jordan in Palestine, and it was
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Speaker 1: specially brought because it's like the holiest of holy right
14:02
Speaker 1: and this is a really serious affair like this, this
14:06
Speaker 1: is the shit. So he is just adored because this
14:12
Speaker 1: is a baby king and everyone.
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Speaker 2: Fucking loves it.
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Speaker 3: He's got baptized and shit.
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Speaker 1: Oh and not only that, he is like immortalized in
14:20
Speaker 1: like a children's story. So there's like the Spanish version
14:24
Speaker 1: of the Tooth Fairy, and he's a character in it,
14:26
Speaker 1: like they make him a character. But Alfonso, like, I
14:33
Speaker 1: don't know if you know much about the Spanish monarchy,
14:35
Speaker 1: but it is, mm it is. It is not as
14:40
Speaker 1: bad as Cleopatra's. Granted the Potelemis are much worse, but
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Speaker 1: still the House of Bourbon, which is to whom he belonged,
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Speaker 1: and like the House of Bourbon, it was a branch
14:52
Speaker 1: from the family wreath that was the Habsburgs. So there
14:57
Speaker 1: was just so much weird incest going on there. You've
15:02
Speaker 1: got nieces marie and like uncles and cousins marrying each
15:07
Speaker 1: other in just weird connections, so that technically your sister
15:13
Speaker 1: was your cousin and shit like that. It's odd, but yeah,
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Speaker 1: there's there's typically typically, right, if you go back eleven generations,
15:26
Speaker 1: there should be one twenty four people. If you go
15:31
Speaker 1: back eleven generations, for Alfonso, it's one hundred and eleven. Like,
15:37
Speaker 1: don't get me wrong, Like that's that's too small, right,
15:42
Speaker 1: that's too small, Like that's.
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Speaker 3: But yeah, he's he's pretty His genetic pool is like.
15:55
Speaker 1: It's like a puddle. You know, it's pretty it's pretty concise,
15:59
Speaker 1: you know. So that's that's just it's a lot of
16:04
Speaker 1: repeats and a lot of weird, weird intermarrying. But anyway,
16:11
Speaker 1: he is pretty well educated because he's being trained.
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Speaker 3: To be a ruler. I mean, he's already the king
16:18
Speaker 3: of Spain. He just needs, you.
16:20
Speaker 1: Know, the education and the tools in which to do that.
16:23
Speaker 1: So yeah, he's well educated because he gets this military education.
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Speaker 1: So he's supposed to have this military vocation and it
16:32
Speaker 1: strengthens his Spanish nationalism, like that's the whole purpose of it.
16:36
Speaker 1: And so he has all of these tutors, which are
16:38
Speaker 1: like specific military tutors because he's meant to be connected
16:44
Speaker 1: to the military, you know, and he's supposed to be
16:46
Speaker 1: a strong leader for it. But he also gets these
16:51
Speaker 1: like liberal political teachings and these and these philosophical moral teachings,
16:59
Speaker 1: like they really try to round him out, which is
17:02
Speaker 1: I think really nice for royalty because a lot of
17:05
Speaker 1: the time they don't do shit like that. So he's
17:08
Speaker 1: pretty well rounded. So Alfonso the boy King, he was
17:12
Speaker 1: well popular and because you know, he was a child,
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Speaker 1: his mother was serving as regent in his stead, so
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Speaker 1: Maria Christiana of Austria. She's just she's just keeping an
17:22
Speaker 1: eye on things up until his sixteenth birthday, so before
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Speaker 1: he actually gets the crown. When he's like twelve, the
17:30
Speaker 1: Spanish American War happens and they lose colonial rule in
17:35
Speaker 1: Puerto Rico, Guam, Philippines, and Cuba. So like there's a
17:39
Speaker 1: few places vying for independence, and then yeah, there's there's
17:44
Speaker 1: a ship that implodes in Cuba and it becomes a
17:49
Speaker 1: whole thing. And I don't know too much about the
17:52
Speaker 1: Spanish American War, but that's the gist of its stirring.
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Speaker 3: So anyway, they lose.
17:57
Speaker 1: Colonies and then like it was two years later, Alfonso
18:03
Speaker 1: gets really fucking sick. So the eighteen eighty nine to
18:06
Speaker 1: eighteen ninety pandemic, it fucks him up.
18:10
Speaker 2: So he is what now.
18:14
Speaker 1: Fourteen at this point, and he gets this flu and
18:17
Speaker 1: this flu absolutely floors him and it attacks his nervous system,
18:22
Speaker 1: and they're really fucking worried. They don't know whether he's
18:26
Speaker 1: going to be there or not, and.
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Speaker 3: It just it just screws him over.
18:34
Speaker 1: Luckily, he recovers and recovers pretty well considering so two
18:38
Speaker 1: years later, in nineteen oh two.
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Speaker 3: He assumes his role is king. So when he does.
18:45
Speaker 1: Come of age in May, he takes an oath to
18:49
Speaker 1: the Constitution before members of the Cortez and he gets
18:54
Speaker 1: this just massive party effectively because there are festivities and
19:00
Speaker 1: balls and receptions like all over Spain, and there's bull
19:04
Speaker 1: fights and he receives this military So, yeah, Alphonso was
19:12
Speaker 1: king and he needs a queen. So by the time
19:15
Speaker 1: he's nineteen, he's expected, you know, to marry someone. So
19:18
Speaker 1: he goes on this trip to the UK, so I'm
19:21
Speaker 1: going to stay visit, and he meets Victoria Eugenie of Battenberg,
19:27
Speaker 1: who's the granddaughter of Queen Victoria now.
19:31
Speaker 3: Alfonso's mother, Maria Christina.
19:34
Speaker 2: She's not too keen on the match.
19:36
Speaker 1: Because you know, Queen Victoria's children and grandchildren they all
19:44
Speaker 1: have or they all have they are all susceptible to hemophilia, right,
19:48
Speaker 1: and so Maria was worried that her grandchildren would also
19:54
Speaker 1: have hemophilia. So there's like a half fifty fifty percent
20:00
Speaker 1: chance that Victoria Eugenie would pass it on. But he
20:07
Speaker 1: liked her, he thought she was pretty, she liked him
20:10
Speaker 1: to and it's a decent match.
20:11
Speaker 2: She's still royal. She's still within the.
20:14
Speaker 1: Right part of hims. They're not you know, siblings or cousins,
20:20
Speaker 1: which is good, Like it's nice to have some variation
20:25
Speaker 1: in there. A wee bit, just a wee bit, you know.
20:30
Speaker 1: So while they're preparing for the wedding, he gets a
20:36
Speaker 1: woman pregnant and yeah, yeah, he sires his first illegitimate.
20:40
Speaker 2: Child at nineteen. That's right, I said. First, we're not surprised.
20:44
Speaker 2: They're royals.
20:44
Speaker 1: They're always blinking somebody. There was one other week snag, though,
20:48
Speaker 1: and that's the Victoria Eugenie. She was Protestant, and of
20:53
Speaker 1: course Alfonso's Catholics, so that's the whole thing. And so
20:58
Speaker 1: she made it clear that she was willing to convert
21:01
Speaker 1: to Catholicism, like she was happy to change. It wasn't
21:04
Speaker 1: going to be an issue. Maria Christina, she's still trying
21:08
Speaker 1: to get him to, you know, marry someone of Habsburg,
21:12
Speaker 1: Lorraine or some other like Catholic princess. But when she's
21:16
Speaker 1: willing to convert, she's like, okay, cool. And in nineteen
21:20
Speaker 1: oh six, she sends an official letter to Beatrice, who's
21:23
Speaker 1: Victoria Eugenie's mum, right, because it's always the mothers organizing
21:27
Speaker 1: the matches, isn't it. So everything is agreed in Victoria
21:31
Speaker 1: Usuenie travels to France and then meets Maria Christina and Alfonso.
21:37
Speaker 1: She converts to Catholicism. It's all good. So in May
21:42
Speaker 1: of that year, diplomats from like both kingdoms have to
21:45
Speaker 1: like officially agree the marriage, and on the thirty first
21:49
Speaker 1: of May nineteen oh six, Alfonso and Victoria are married
21:53
Speaker 1: the Royal Monastery of San Jeronimo and that's in Madrid.
21:57
Speaker 1: So while the procession is happening, this anarchist throws a
22:01
Speaker 1: bomb from the window, because why would you not want
22:05
Speaker 1: to interrupt a wedding day with a good explosion. So
22:10
Speaker 1: this is an attempted regicide because not only is there
22:12
Speaker 1: just like these guys, but there's also a fuck ton
22:15
Speaker 1: of like European royalty just there too. So yeah, this
22:19
Speaker 1: dude throws a bomb from the window, and it's an
22:22
Speaker 1: attempted regicide, but it doesn't harm either the King of
22:26
Speaker 1: the Queen. It does, however, kill thirty civilians, so that's
22:31
Speaker 1: like bystanders members of the procession.
22:33
Speaker 3: And then of course on top.
22:35
Speaker 1: Of this, you know, it wounds like another one hundred
22:39
Speaker 1: or so people, so a lot of people really got
22:42
Speaker 1: hurt from this. So they're married, hooray, and then in
22:47
Speaker 1: nineteen oh seven their first child is born, Alfonso. Now,
22:52
Speaker 1: over the next seven years they have seven children all together,
22:58
Speaker 1: so Alfonso, then six more.
23:01
Speaker 3: That's one a year.
23:02
Speaker 1: Jeez.
23:03
Speaker 2: They were at it consistently.
23:04
Speaker 3: Basically she would have had to have healed and they
23:06
Speaker 3: would start shagging again.
23:07
Speaker 1: Jesus, LaDue, you're you're just going for it. So he
23:12
Speaker 1: has seven legitimate kids, and then he has at least
23:16
Speaker 1: another five illegitimate ones with like a bunch of them,
23:22
Speaker 1: a bunch of them, a bunch of them like between
23:24
Speaker 1: his lovers. Right, So two of his sons with Eugenie
23:29
Speaker 1: Victoria Eugenie, they inherited hemophilia, which is apparently one of
23:38
Speaker 1: the reasons why there was like some issues between the couple.
23:43
Speaker 1: And this was meant to be a cause of contention
23:46
Speaker 1: that he felt it was her fault that they had hemophilia.
23:50
Speaker 3: But like, imagine that he's blaming her for something.
23:53
Speaker 1: He knew it was going to be a possibility because
23:56
Speaker 1: it was like a genuine worry that she was going
23:59
Speaker 1: to be a carrier of heemophilia, So Alfondo Junior effectively
24:04
Speaker 1: and Gonzalo they both inherited hemophilia, but like the daughters
24:09
Speaker 1: didn't and stuff like that. And I think their final son, Juan,
24:14
Speaker 1: I know, he didn't, so everybody else apart from these two.
24:18
Speaker 1: So he's like mad at her and he distanced himself
24:21
Speaker 1: from her because of this, which is one way of
24:24
Speaker 1: putting it.
24:25
Speaker 3: But also are we.
24:26
Speaker 1: Forgetting that he had six illegitimate children, like he had
24:31
Speaker 1: one previous to his marriage and then another five during it.
24:37
Speaker 1: So you know, I feel like, considering he had already
24:42
Speaker 1: gotten someone pregnant, you know, while he was preparing for
24:46
Speaker 1: his marriage, while he was looking for, you know, a wife,
24:50
Speaker 1: he probably was never going to be the most faithful
24:53
Speaker 1: of husbands at the best of times. And you know,
24:56
Speaker 1: considering his you know, eleven genera back one hundred and
25:01
Speaker 1: eleven ancestors, I really don't think he's in a position
25:05
Speaker 1: to be insulting anybody's genetics, you know what I mean.
25:08
Speaker 1: Sometimes when you're having issues with your spouse, though, you
25:10
Speaker 1: do need a good distraction, and Alfonso had one, which
25:13
Speaker 1: was World War One.
25:15
Speaker 3: So because he had.
25:17
Speaker 1: Family connections on both sides of World War One, he
25:22
Speaker 1: decided to keep Spain neutral. And the thing is as well,
25:25
Speaker 1: like he paid attention to public opinion and because of this,
25:29
Speaker 1: it just wasn't worth it for him to be involved,
25:33
Speaker 1: Like there was too great a division. It wasn't worth
25:35
Speaker 1: it for him.
25:36
Speaker 2: But like it's very.
25:38
Speaker 1: Interesting the neutrality position that it had during World War
25:41
Speaker 1: One because the king he sets up this this office
25:46
Speaker 1: and the whole purpose of it is to assist prisoners
25:48
Speaker 1: of war, regardless of the side you're on. So there's
25:52
Speaker 1: this diplomatic and military network which is there to help
25:58
Speaker 1: prisoners of war. It's transmitting and receiving letters for them,
26:03
Speaker 1: helping them with services, and the office is actually in
26:06
Speaker 1: the Royal Palace itself.
26:08
Speaker 2: And another thing he tries.
26:11
Speaker 1: To do is when he hears of the issues happening
26:13
Speaker 1: with the Romanovs, he tries to save Sir Nicholas, the
26:18
Speaker 1: second in his family, when he hears them being captured.
26:21
Speaker 1: So as we know that in Britain, when you know
26:26
Speaker 1: it was asked, when they were asked for help, they
26:29
Speaker 1: turned them down, and other nations did the same. But
26:32
Speaker 1: Alphonso He's like, no, come here, So he sends telegrams
26:38
Speaker 1: to the Bolsheviks, and he's offering, you know, to give
26:42
Speaker 1: the Russians to bring the royal family to Spain. So
26:46
Speaker 1: he is at one point informed of being executed, but
26:48
Speaker 1: he is convinced that it's just like Nicholas the second
26:52
Speaker 1: in Alexei. He thinks the two of them have just
26:54
Speaker 1: been killed. He thought that Alexandra and the you know,
26:58
Speaker 1: the four girls, that they had been spared. He didn't
27:03
Speaker 1: realize they'd all just been slaughtered. So he was like
27:06
Speaker 1: pushing to try and get them there, which is a
27:09
Speaker 1: really empathetic thing to do, especially for like a royal leader,
27:14
Speaker 1: because a lot of the time, like a lot of
27:16
Speaker 1: it is like stiff up or lip. You don't see
27:18
Speaker 1: stuff like this. But on top of this as well,
27:21
Speaker 1: like when the quote unquote Spanish flu breaks out, which
27:26
Speaker 1: m and because there's no like press and bargo in Spain,
27:30
Speaker 1: he ends up getting ill again. I mean, he got
27:32
Speaker 1: ill during like that other pandemic with the flu, so
27:34
Speaker 1: I'm not surprised he got ill this time. So it
27:38
Speaker 1: gets reported when he gets ill, and it gets reported
27:40
Speaker 1: when he's you know, recovering. And one of the reasons
27:44
Speaker 1: why it's reported in this fashion is because the US
27:48
Speaker 1: doesn't want to admit that it was them. So the USA,
27:52
Speaker 1: the Spanish flu actually originated in their barracks, you know,
27:56
Speaker 1: home and abroad. And Spain was the first count to
28:00
Speaker 1: report this illness because they didn't want to like mess
28:04
Speaker 1: with morale and stuff. Well that's the excuse that was given.
28:07
Speaker 1: But Spain was like, no, there's there's a big illness
28:10
Speaker 1: here and we need to curtail it. And so it
28:14
Speaker 1: gets called, you know, the Spanish flu. It's it's like
28:18
Speaker 1: I've joked about it before, calling it fake news, but
28:20
Speaker 1: it fucking is. And they did it because they were
28:22
Speaker 1: mad that a Spain was neutral, even though it was
28:24
Speaker 1: helping its own POW's right, And they were mad because
28:28
Speaker 1: they didn't want to have to like explain it was
28:30
Speaker 1: them that fuck them, it was them.
28:32
Speaker 3: It should have been like I don't know the Arkansas flu.
28:35
Speaker 1: I can't remember where it's from. I haven't written down somewhere,
28:37
Speaker 1: but I don't remember exactly. So World World War One
28:40
Speaker 1: is raging on in nineteen seventeen, Alfonso instructs the Spanish
28:45
Speaker 1: consul in Jerusalem to help protect Palestinian Jews, like so
28:49
Speaker 1: he does these actions for offers of protection all right,
28:54
Speaker 1: and so so on top.
28:56
Speaker 3: Of this, there's this dude.
28:58
Speaker 1: He's an official in ti twenties, like a really high official,
29:01
Speaker 1: and he commits this onslaught against Jews, right, and he
29:05
Speaker 1: is really high up. He's got supports from the Spanish
29:10
Speaker 1: Minister of Foreign Affairs, and he thought he could be
29:13
Speaker 1: anti Semitic and all Fonso's watch and he was like,
29:17
Speaker 1: fuck this for a game of soldiers. You are being
29:19
Speaker 1: removed from power, bye bye. Because as far as all
29:23
Speaker 1: Fonso was concerned, all of his Spanish subjects should have
29:27
Speaker 1: the same level of protection. It's nice when there's a
29:32
Speaker 1: leader who isn't anti Semitic.
29:33
Speaker 2: Isn't it.
29:34
Speaker 3: That's nice.
29:35
Speaker 2: Another thing that.
29:36
Speaker 1: Happened during World War One. So like a year after
29:40
Speaker 1: the war breaks out in nineteen fifteen, Royal Films is
29:45
Speaker 1: established by Ramon and the Ricardo de Buenos. Because it
29:49
Speaker 1: can't be all work and no play for all Fonso,
29:52
Speaker 1: oh no, So he uses the Count of Romanos as
29:56
Speaker 1: this intermediate, right, and so he is the go between
30:00
Speaker 1: between these these brothers and the king, and so Royal
30:06
Speaker 1: Films is established specifically to create and supply erotic material
30:14
Speaker 1: to the royal household. So they made porn for the
30:19
Speaker 1: king like that was that was the plan. And you
30:22
Speaker 1: really have to give it to him, because Alfonso was
30:25
Speaker 1: a trendsetter. When you think about it, this is like
30:27
Speaker 1: a full century before only fans made custom porno for anybody, right,
30:33
Speaker 1: or for everybody really, and the king, that's right, the
30:37
Speaker 1: King of Spain has a side hustle in making adult films,
30:42
Speaker 1: like for his own private consumption, like.
30:48
Speaker 3: That is that is mad.
30:49
Speaker 2: He is a.
30:50
Speaker 1: Pioneer of pornographic cinema in Spain. And this is where
30:55
Speaker 1: he gets this this title of the king playboy between
30:59
Speaker 1: you know, the many illegitimate children and this you know,
31:04
Speaker 1: pornography situation. Now this has led people to suggest that
31:09
Speaker 1: he may have had like a sex addiction, which is
31:13
Speaker 1: supposedly satiated by you know, the dirty films. So the
31:17
Speaker 1: Bourbons in general, they were kind of known for being
31:19
Speaker 1: in their hanky panky, but they were just bitter hiding it.
31:25
Speaker 1: So of Bonzo, he isn't just you know, bankrolling the situation.
31:31
Speaker 3: He's also providing.
31:34
Speaker 2: Concepts.
31:36
Speaker 1: So he is suggesting ideas for like storylines and plots,
31:42
Speaker 1: and he even had a thing for personally casting the
31:47
Speaker 1: lead actresses and he is known for having a preference
31:52
Speaker 1: for women with enormous breasts, m big bobed babes.
32:00
Speaker 3: Humanity. Woh, what a weird kink. He likes the bobies.
32:07
Speaker 3: So he is getting these films right.
32:10
Speaker 1: They're made and they are screened sometimes just for Alfonso,
32:14
Speaker 1: just just for himself. And then sometimes he'd have like
32:18
Speaker 1: a porno party. He'd invite his pals around and they'd
32:21
Speaker 1: all watch it together.
32:25
Speaker 2: Is that a thing? Is that a thing?
32:28
Speaker 1: The men just watch porn together, like just as a
32:33
Speaker 1: group activity that.
32:35
Speaker 2: You all share.
32:39
Speaker 3: Oh okay, So.
32:42
Speaker 1: There's a bunch of these films made and they're like
32:45
Speaker 1: in some of the storylines are classic and definitely rooted
32:48
Speaker 1: in Catholicism, like there's.
32:50
Speaker 3: A good view that involved priests and such.
32:54
Speaker 1: But yeah, he seemed to have he seemed to have
32:56
Speaker 1: a preference, you know. So all in all, said films
33:00
Speaker 1: were made, but only three have survived. There's The Confessor,
33:07
Speaker 1: which is about a priest shagging one of his parishioners.
33:12
Speaker 1: The Minister is about a woman, you know, offering to
33:16
Speaker 1: let a priest plunder her cave of wonders if she
33:19
Speaker 1: defends her husband in something and then there's Lady's office,
33:25
Speaker 1: which is a doctor boinking his patients. Now there's definitely
33:29
Speaker 1: some kind of power play here. He seems to be
33:31
Speaker 1: into that. Good for him, I guess. I mean, it's
33:35
Speaker 1: good to know what you like. Don't be shamed about
33:37
Speaker 1: your personal porn preferences unless your personal porn preferences are
33:41
Speaker 1: creepy as fuck. So yeah, Alfonso is known as like
33:44
Speaker 1: the Playboy, but he's also known as El Africano, which
33:48
Speaker 1: is like African. So by the time the nineteen twenties
33:53
Speaker 1: rolls around, he's thinking, oh, it's the way, Shane, we
33:56
Speaker 1: lost those colonies over in the Americas. Wouldn't it be
33:59
Speaker 1: swelled to have something somewhere else? So he's thinking Africa
34:05
Speaker 1: because you know, he's getting into it, and he wants
34:08
Speaker 1: to expand Spain's reach because he's trying to like grip
34:13
Speaker 1: onto colonial powers in Morocco. Unfortunately, the public aren't really
34:18
Speaker 1: keen on this, and this riff war that lasted like
34:21
Speaker 1: six years really pissed people off.
34:26
Speaker 2: And so well this was going on.
34:28
Speaker 1: People were like burning flags in the street and they
34:32
Speaker 1: were getting slowly but surely more pissed off with the monarchy.
34:36
Speaker 1: So there is defeat after defeat happening in Morocco, and
34:40
Speaker 1: it gets to the point that Spanish soldiers just refuse
34:44
Speaker 1: to get on the boat in Malaga, like things are
34:46
Speaker 1: just not going well, and everybody.
34:49
Speaker 3: Just hates this whole situation.
34:51
Speaker 1: So by the time nineteen thirty one rolls around, they
34:54
Speaker 1: are these municipal elections in Spain and the republic coalition,
34:58
Speaker 1: which wanted to change the country's government system, wins by
35:01
Speaker 1: this like massive margin. So the whole point of this
35:04
Speaker 1: vote is just to choose whether the monarchy continues, right, That's
35:09
Speaker 1: the whole purpose of it. So the government is fucking
35:13
Speaker 1: shocked when the election comes around, when they realize that
35:18
Speaker 1: the monarchy is done. It's screwed, it's not happening, and
35:23
Speaker 1: Alfonso he decides best get the heck at a dodge
35:27
Speaker 1: and he leaves the country on April fourteenth, nineteen thirty one,
35:31
Speaker 1: and the Second Spanish Republic is established and it's actually
35:36
Speaker 1: had like pretty peaceful actually, So at this point Spain
35:39
Speaker 1: is now a republic and the government is you know,
35:44
Speaker 1: sort of in charge of everything, so there's no you know, monarchy.
35:47
Speaker 1: So later on that year, the government has this debate
35:49
Speaker 1: about Alfonso, and so you know, he interferes the institutions.
35:53
Speaker 1: He was doing stuff for gain and you know, making decisions.
35:57
Speaker 2: Without consulting the government.
35:58
Speaker 1: So he was and they effectively decided that Alfonso was
36:04
Speaker 1: guilty of high treason. So by the time he's gone,
36:09
Speaker 1: when he leaves Spain, he is living in exile and
36:12
Speaker 1: he's getting involved in these anti republican plots. I mean,
36:16
Speaker 1: he tries to gather all these supporters from different factions,
36:20
Speaker 1: from the monarchists camp, and in nineteen thirty two he
36:24
Speaker 1: endorses a manifesto by the claimant Alfonso Carlos, and so
36:31
Speaker 1: this hints that the king might give up his rights
36:36
Speaker 1: if certain conditions were met. Now, in thirty three, Alfonso's
36:42
Speaker 1: two eldest sons they both renounce their claims to the throne.
36:45
Speaker 1: And in thirty four, Gonzalo, the youngest son, he dies
36:50
Speaker 1: and this leaves Klan his only male heir. And in
36:56
Speaker 1: nineteen thirty six there's an attempted coup against their publican government.
37:01
Speaker 1: So Alfonso's son Juan, he tries to join the rebel faction,
37:09
Speaker 1: but he has stopped and returned by a rebel general
37:12
Speaker 1: because they see through the plot. Because he goes in
37:15
Speaker 1: under a false name, and he tries to break in,
37:18
Speaker 1: and it becomes clear to Alfonso that he is not
37:25
Speaker 1: going to be restored as king, and so after the
37:28
Speaker 1: Republican victory after the Spanish Civil War and the establishment
37:33
Speaker 1: of the Second Spanish Republic, Alfonso leaves Spain again, and
37:38
Speaker 1: Alfonso he is very aware now that he is not
37:41
Speaker 1: getting that throne again. It is not on the list,
37:45
Speaker 1: and so in the fifteenth of January nineteen forty one,
37:49
Speaker 1: Alfonso renounces his right to the Spanish throne, thus allowing
37:56
Speaker 1: Juan to claim the title. And at this point Alfonso
37:59
Speaker 1: he is exiled and he is living in Rome, and
38:03
Speaker 1: then on the twenty eighth of February that year, nineteen
38:07
Speaker 1: forty one, he passes away from a heart attack. So
38:11
Speaker 1: back in Spain, Francisco Franco, who is the dictator at
38:15
Speaker 1: the time, he orders three days of national mourning, which
38:20
Speaker 1: seems like a really weird, no hard feelings kind of gesture,
38:24
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I took over rule in the country. Good
38:29
Speaker 1: in the morning now. So the ex king his fun
38:33
Speaker 1: is held in the Santa Maria degli Angeli a dee Mardiri,
38:38
Speaker 1: which is in Rome, and then he's buried in the
38:41
Speaker 1: Spanish national structure of Rome, which is the Santa Maria
38:44
Speaker 1: in Montsreto degli Spagnoli, and there he remained until nineteen eighty,
38:51
Speaker 1: when his remains were actually removed and transferred to El
38:55
Speaker 1: Escuriel in Spain. It's nice to seem got to go
38:59
Speaker 1: home eventually, and so ends our tale of the randy
39:03
Speaker 1: royal King Alphonso the thirteenth of Spent. So if you
39:09
Speaker 1: liked my retelling of this story, feel free to wait
39:11
Speaker 1: and review five stars on Apple Podcasts and or Spotify
39:14
Speaker 1: if you happen to have me on both. I wouldn't
39:16
Speaker 1: mind a double dipping, I'll take it. There are very
39:20
Speaker 1: few times when it is acceptable to double dip, and
39:23
Speaker 1: this is one of them. So if you're willing to
39:25
Speaker 1: do that, that'd be fantastic because it really helps boost
39:28
Speaker 1: the show and boots up the algorithm, and it helps
39:31
Speaker 1: people find me and see me, and it puts me
39:34
Speaker 1: on the recommendations. It just really really really helps.
39:39
Speaker 2: I just realized I've forgot to do my dedication.
39:42
Speaker 1: So this week's episode is for my fantastic Patreon.
39:47
Speaker 3: Supporter, Jamie. Love you, Jamie.
39:51
Speaker 1: You've been with me so long, it's been ninety two years.
39:55
Speaker 1: But yes, it has been a wild It's been such
39:57
Speaker 1: a wild week. I'm surprised, and I hope you're all
40:01
Speaker 1: enjoying the summer and getting to do something nice.
40:04
Speaker 2: You should.
40:04
Speaker 1: You should go and treat yourself to something. I don't
40:06
Speaker 1: know what it is, but you go treat yourself to something. Oh,
40:09
Speaker 1: recommendation time. Okay, I am gonna recommend for reading the
40:15
Speaker 1: book Fingersmiths by Sarah Warders.
40:20
Speaker 2: It's a good read. You should just just go read it.
40:23
Speaker 1: It's fun. For listening Harley Quinn, I'm the Joker. It
40:27
Speaker 1: is a podcast on Spotify. It's got Christina Ricci.
40:31
Speaker 2: Just listen.
40:32
Speaker 3: She's fabulous.
40:33
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And for watching.
40:37
Speaker 1: Ooh, has anybody seen the new Indiana Jones movie yet?
40:41
Speaker 1: I know it's got time traveling it and that's kind
40:43
Speaker 1: of eh, But go to the Indiana Jones movie if
40:46
Speaker 1: you haven't, because we can't help ourselves at this point.
40:50
Speaker 1: If I start something, I like to finish it. It's
40:52
Speaker 1: one of the reasons why I haven't watched any Fast
40:55
Speaker 1: to the Furious films since, like the second one, because
40:58
Speaker 1: I haven't seen the third and until I go through
41:01
Speaker 1: the main chronological order. I can't watch them. It's like
41:05
Speaker 1: this time I accidentally read the second novel in a
41:08
Speaker 1: book series.
41:08
Speaker 2: And it pissed me off so much.
41:11
Speaker 1: I cannot convey you just how enraged I was, and
41:14
Speaker 1: I had to go and find the first book in
41:17
Speaker 1: this weird book series. And anyway, I hope you have
41:20
Speaker 1: a good time, enjoy your summertime, and.
41:24
Speaker 3: Don't forget you can follow me on social media.
41:26
Speaker 1: I am on Facebook and Instagram and TikTok and tweeter.
41:31
Speaker 1: I am and all the places. The links are in
41:33
Speaker 1: the description down below, So come say hi. I'm pretty
41:37
Speaker 1: good at responding when I'm not being sent like paragraphs
41:40
Speaker 1: of bollocks. But anyway, I shall bid you farewell.
41:45
Speaker 2: Adios.
41:46
Speaker 3: A revoir of waitzen Bibebye