Latest / Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad / Dear Banya: FOMO for French Fries

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Dear Banya: FOMO for French Fries · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and two time People's Choice Award winning podcast.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Happy Thursday to all who celebrate Thursday Thursday. If you're
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: getting to imbibe on some beverages cellar treats, do you
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: celebrate thirsty Thursday?
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: I used to really back in.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: The day before tender Donia, before tender you know what,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: I really don't miss alcohol.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: I hear most people feel that way.
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  Speaker 1: Like I used to drink so much, just socially, you
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. Go out to dinner, have a
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: glass of wine. Go out to this, have a glass
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: of wine. Go to any soda social event, have a
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: you know, cocktail.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: And now I'll.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Order a mocktail or A lot of places have non
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: alcoholic wine, and it does the trick, like I feel like,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: it totally does.
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  Speaker 3: Like I feel like.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I'm enjoying with everybody around me, and then I'm not
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  Speaker 1: having the like annoying hangover the next day.
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  Speaker 2: M hm.
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  Speaker 1: So anyways, I'm enjoying it. Yeah, I little bit about me.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: I saw this story about Brianna chicken Fry. Yeah that
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: is she dated. Yeah, you know she did the musician
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: for a while and then they had a really bad breakup.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: Luke Bryan No, what did she do?
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I can I'm literally Zach.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Sach sank No, Zach Zach Bryan. Is that Luke Bryan's brother.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: They're not related, no relation.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: To Luke Bryan. Anyways, she didn't say his name, but
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: I would imagine it's who she was talking about. But
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: she said that he didn't show up for her. She
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: said her ex boyfriend didn't show up to something he
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: committed to, like performing at another concert with somebody, because
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: he was severely hungover. And she was like, the thing
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: about being hungover is you do it to yourself. Like, yeah,
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: make the choice to drink and put that into your
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: body knowing that you're gonna feel horrible. She's like, do
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: you know how many things I've done severely hungover?
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  Speaker 3: In absolute shambles?
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't use that. That's the one thing you
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  Speaker 2: when you poison yourself, you don't get to not show up.
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  Speaker 3: I agree.
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  Speaker 2: So anyways, that's my take on alcohol. I I agree.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: I I will drink, but I I prefer soda with
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: any meal that I drink, So unless I'm just wanting
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: the vibes to be social.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: I saw Tinkx post this thing about diet coke where
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: she like woke up and she was like, I just
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: need a diet coke and I'm sorry this is the personality.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, I just like don't have that at all.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Like diet coked meat tastes like poison, but you.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Like coke, Like you'll have a cokeke, coke.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Zero when you're a broad zero oh, or just a
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: straight up Coca Cola when you're really is now nowadays,
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: but like, yeah, like diet coke just like doesn't do it.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm I'm I'm like I have fomo
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  Speaker 1: for like that community of people because they're so like,
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: you know, yeah, like I just want a French fry
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  Speaker 1: and a diet coke and like or like that cigarette
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: or what is Yeah, And I just like I feel
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  Speaker 1: sad that I will never have that level of like
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  Speaker 1: enjoyment from that, do you know what I mean?
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: I cannot tell you the satisfaction of going through the
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: McDonald's drive through and getting a coat or doctor pepperye
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  Speaker 2: coke and a French fry, a salty French fry at
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: around like three pm.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, like I will never find that joyful and that
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: makes me sad. Like I feel like there's like this
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  Speaker 1: whole like community of people that.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: I think you'd enjoy it. I really connect over it.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Icy cold coke with a salty fry. I think you'd
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: love it, you think, yeah, yeah, just like you loved
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: my buttered pop tart. I think you you're counting yourself
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  Speaker 2: out too.
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  Speaker 3: Soon before really trying or experiencing.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: But when you have a culinary chef as a husband,
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  Speaker 2: it's hard to dip so low as a drive through,
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: you know.
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  Speaker 1: I know, he goes, I'm gonna try and make chicken
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: nuggets from scratch for the kids this week.
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  Speaker 3: I'm like, what does that even entail?
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  Speaker 1: Like that he's gonna I don't even know he's gonna
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  Speaker 1: mince up the chicken, make a gluten free like not
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  Speaker 1: even like put him in breadcrumbs.
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  Speaker 3: Well, let's see how that turned out.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: God speed, No Dino nugs for those kids.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, what.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: I'm just curious that se how they're gonna turn out.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: I'm sure they'll be great.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll see.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: He's a professional. Shall we get into some deer bonia
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: do you want to alternate who reads?
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Or do you want sure you want to take this
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: first one?
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: Lengthy?
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I had a baby this spring and my parents
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: haven't really been involved because they're full time caregivers for
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: my dad's mom, who has dementia. It's been hard because
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: they used to be our only support system, but my
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: husband and I have accepted that we're doing this on
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: our own. The problem is that whenever they visit, they
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: bring my grandmother. She gets over stimulated by my toddler
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: and is really mean to him. So a few weeks ago,
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: I told my parents they couldn't bring her to our
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: house anymore and that we needed to pause visits for now.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Last Friday was my final day of maternity leave. I
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: planned to spend it cuddling with my baby before going
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: back to work, but my dad showed up at my
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: house unannounced with my grandmother. He said he came to
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: help in quotations, even though he knew I had asked
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: him not to come. My mom knew he was coming
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: and didn't tell me. I'm honestly more upset that he
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: completely ignored the boundary I set than anything else. It
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: also felt like he took away the one day I
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: had been looking forward to before returning to work. When
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: I brought it up to my mom, somehow I ended
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: up feeling like the bad guy. How do I set
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: boundaries with parents who refuse to respect them without constantly
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: feeling guilty?
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: This is tough.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: This is so complicated. Yeah, setting boundaries, like getting to
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: the point where you feel bold enough and fed up
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: enough to set a boundary is a really big deal,
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: you know, Like getting to that point of being able
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: to do that, you should feel really proud of yourself,
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: and then to have somebody totally ignore it and disrespect
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  Speaker 2: it oof.
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  Speaker 1: And it's so hard because it's like those are your parents,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And like you obviously respect
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: and you love them so much. But I feel like
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: sometimes when you grow up in your an adult and
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: then you have your own family, that your parents don't
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: necessarily respect that boundary as like how you want to
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: things that you want to do for your family, you
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: know what I mean.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's almost like this ownership mentality of like you
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: have kids and you feel like you are instill forever
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  Speaker 2: in charge of them, as opposed to raising them to
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  Speaker 2: be independent adults who can take care of themselves and
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: have their own boundaries and own lives without you being
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: in control of how they live them. Yeah, I would
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: just I think you're just kind.
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  Speaker 3: It's just like so rude.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: You literally told them not to come and to bring
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: your not to bring your grandmother, and they just completely
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: disregarded that.
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  Speaker 3: I'd be so pissed.
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  Speaker 2: Not only did they come, but he and brought your grandma. Yeah,
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: I would just have to sit them down and say, hey,
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  Speaker 2: I thought I was clear, but maybe I wasn't. I
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: didn't communicate in a clear way, but that was that
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: made me feel really disrespected. And I know that y'all
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: are my parents, and I love you all, and I
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: love my grandma, but I think with her situation and
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: kind of where the babies are at, it's just too
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: too much going on.
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  Speaker 1: It's just it's so layered. Because now I'm thinking, like,
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  Speaker 1: you obviously feel guilty if you set a boundary with
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: your parents, You just feel that guilt, you know what
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  Speaker 1: I mean.
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  Speaker 3: So I'm sure her parents.
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  Speaker 1: Feel that guilt with their their mom, you know what
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  Speaker 1: I mean, if like they feel guilty.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, but does the mom want to go if she's
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: overwhelmed by the toddler. Does the grandma want to be
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: brought along?
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  Speaker 1: Think so, yes, grandfathers just want to be around their
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: grandkids twenty four secs.
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  Speaker 2: They're like snippety and yes, yes I do. Maybe the
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: boundary is you say, like when you need you'll reach
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: out and ask for it, and maybe there's when you
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: feel like you have the capacity that you invite them over,
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: like maybe you said us specifically.
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  Speaker 1: And also like if you're still in maternity leave, this
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: is fresh, like you literally just like popped a baby
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  Speaker 1: out yesterday. Like people need to respect and give you
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: a little bit of time to just like get your
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: wits about you.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think, unfortunately, you just have to have another conversation.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: And I also would like to reiterate you were you
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: should not feel guilty. I think it's a very normal
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: human reaction because we care about the people in our lives.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: We love our parents, we love our family, but we
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: also have to establish independence and protect yourself and your
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: mental health while you're postpartum, yeah, navigating life right now.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: So I think you, unfortunately are going to have another
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: conversation with them and just say hey, I don't know,
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: and don't make it feel like accusatory because if they
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: want to be around you, you don't want to make them
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: feel bad for wanting to help you. And I put
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: that in.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: Clothes, right.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: But even if they don't want to help them, they
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: just want to see their grandkid. Like I totally get that, Yeah,
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: I do, But they have to respect what you say. Yeah.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: I think you just say, we're you know, there's just
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: a lot going on. Grandma is a little overwhelmed when
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: she comes over, and I think that that makes my
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: life harder. So when y'all come to help, it doesn't
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: make me feel less stressed. Yeah, And so maybe it's
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: just for the time right now, you just set a
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: clear boundary and let them know that y'all can bring
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: the kids to them.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: I think what she's saying is like she already had
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: this conversation. They didn't respect us, So she's like, how
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: do I set boundaries who refuse with parents who refuse
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: to respect them?
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: I think maybe lock the door.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: Do you might have to move, change your phone number.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: Change your keys.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: I'm kidding.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: I think you just said, say, like, explain why what
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: they did felt disrespectful and why that crossed the line
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: of the boundary that you set because they might not
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: If parents have never had boundaries and then you set
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: a boundary, they might not even realize they're doing it. Yeah,
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: so I think maybe it explained, like, hey, when I
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: said this, this was me like setting a boundary, and
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: when you did this, it made me feel like you
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: didn't hear me. So I just wanted to reiterate what
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: I was asking. And I'm sorry that you're navigating this.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: This is so hard, especially fresh with a new I know.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: But congratulations, and I hope things get easy and less stressful.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Our next email is from a loyal fan crush is
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: new to w l W community. We'll get back.
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: We'll get back with this.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: One nice tease, we'll choppy room for improvement, and we're back. Okay,
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: this is the next email. This one's mainly for Becca,
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: but I'd love to hear Tanya's opinion too. I recently
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: started talking to a girl who's brand new to the
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: WLW community and is still exploring her sexuality. I've known
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: I was into women my whole life, so this is
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: a new experience for me. She's never dated a woman
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: before and is understandably nervous, but she's also really flirty
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: and I'm excited to see where this could go. She
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: wants to start as friends and let things happen naturally. Becca,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: do you have any advice for helping someone feel more
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: comfortable and easing those nerves without putting any pressure on them? Sincerely,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: a loyal fan.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: I think you the best thing you can do is
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: just be her friend and have fun and like, don't
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: don't put it like kind of I would almost let
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: her take the lead, because you don't want to put
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: pressure on her and then have that be something that
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: she holds against you or you know, if she's navigating
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: her sexuality. I didn't go through this because I basically
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: met Halen was like I bought her. I got her
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: like a picture frame with a small photo of us,
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: like within two weeks of us dating.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: That are knowing each Other's so crazy because if I
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: did that to Robbie, he would literally like head for
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: the hills.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: I think Haley probably got a little scared. But I,
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: you know, we met and then I remember and I
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: don't know again, I don't know how old y'all are,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: but I think I was almost thirty and I kind
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: of had this mentality of I've never felt this way before.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to overthink it. I'm just gonna go
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: with it and see what happens. And obviously it worked out.
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: I know a lot of people are scared to be
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: with someone who has never been with a woman before
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: or is exploring that part of themselves. So I would
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: just be cautious and like have fun, but also, you know,
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: guard your heart just like you were dating anybody you know,
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: don't don't put everything out there, and just.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: Tough.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: I know it's tough because when you really like someone
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: and you're excited, you want to go all in. But
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: I would just be her friend, and I think it'll
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: naturally if there's something there, I think it's naturally going
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: to happen. But I also think if she's exploring her
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: sexuality or is it out or knows where she's at
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: in her sexuality and her that journey, I you know,
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: it might be that her friends don't know or her
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: family doesn't know, and that can get tricky as well.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: So I have no advice, but my only advice would
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: be like, don't make her feel like it's an insecurity
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: because I feel like sometimes people who haven't done something before,
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: like this person's never dated another woman. Some people have
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: never had like a boyfriend, right, some people are virgins.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: I've never ever kicked someone. I've never kissed someone like
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: you know, Like, there's so many instances where this is
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: the case, and I feel like if they feel it
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: and they turn it into an insecurity, then I think
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: that could become problematic. So like, don't make her feel
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: like it's a big deal.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: It's a red fly.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Like people have journeys that they start, and it can
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: either start like you said, you've known your whole life,
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: or can start when they're about to turn thirty like you.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: You can't fault someone for learning something new about themselves. Yeah,
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: and make it make her feel bad about it. But
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: I also think you know, you have to just like
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: anyone though, even if it was a guy, you'd want
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: to go slow, go at a pace that feels natural,
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: not put any pressure on it so that you also
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: don't get hurt. Yeah, but this is fun. I'd love
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: an update, Hi, Beca and Tanya about.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to read what this is about just
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: to like tease everybody.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: No, I just dive right in. Wow, Hi Becka and Tanya,
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: About a year ago, I started a small business creating
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: and selling products that were pretty unique in my area.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: One of my repeat customers became a friendly acquaintance, abought
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: almost everything I made and is now selling products that
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: almost that look almost identical to mine, right down to
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: the packaging and presentation. People have even asked if she's
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: selling my products. The tricky part is we share the
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: same friend circles, our kids will be in preschool together,
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: and we live in a small town, so I see
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: her all the time. Do I just focus on my
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: own business and let it go or is it worth thing?
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: Worth saying something before it goes any further. I thought
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: this is gonna be like a love star. I thought
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: this was gonna be.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: Like and then we fell in love a guy.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because there was like a guy that bought everything.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: And should I look into this? I don't know. Like
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: part of me is like, just put your head down
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: and work on your business.
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: But I also don't like what excellent advice.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Oh just don't don't even say your lane.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: Stay in your lane. Do you know what they say swimmers?
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: If you're swimming in the Olympics, you.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: Don't look to the rider left.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: The minute you look to your right, your left to
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: look at your competition. You're losing the race.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: Oof.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: Keep in your lane, keep your head down, keep swimming
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: in your lane, don't be bothered. And yeah, I know
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: I hate this saying, but like copying, what is this
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: in copying is like the biggest form.
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: Of flat area.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: It's annoying, but like, if it's not her, somebody else
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: might do it. Do you know what I mean? And
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: if they're not doing it, somebody else might do it.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: You just gotta do you. Yeah, don't look to your
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: left or your tier right.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: I think if anything, maybe this encourages you to try
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: something new or like change how yours looks, like, do
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: something new so that you're always evolving, because if she's
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: gonna keep copying you, you're going to be the first
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: to do it.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Maybe maybe like you can introduce like I know this
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: is gonna sound annoying and probably a lot of legwork,
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: but you got this. Maybe write a handwritten note with
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: everybody that buys one of your unique products, you know,
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: like it could be a short little note like I
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: hope this. Yeah, I don't know what the products are, but.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: And maybe change your packaging and presentation, like maybe you
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: just like do some new things that elevate, stretches you creatively,
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: elevates your brand, and just focus on making your product
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: the best it can be and coming up with new ideas.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: And I understand the frustration. I too. I think anyone
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: in your position would be frustrated. But when people talk,
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: be like no, Like she's doing her thing and I'm
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: doing mine and they're similar but totally different brands.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, head down, head down, don't look okay, Hi,
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: Becka and Tanya, we are big fans of the pod,
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: and we're reaching out with a request that's really close
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: to our hearts. Two of our best friends are WLW
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: and have been working up the courage to come out
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: to their parents. They're both nervous and could really use
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: a boost. We know their families will be so supportive,
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: but it's still a big moment that takes so much courage.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: They're both big scrubbing in fans, and we think words
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: of encouragement from you all on the podcast would mean
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: the world to us. Whether it comes from your own
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: experiences or just from the heart, We would love nothing
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: more than to pass it along knowing they'll be listening.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: We cannot wait till we celebrate them together in a
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: way that makes them both feel seen for who they are.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: Thank you for everything you do. This community means so much,
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: with so much love, H and.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: H you tell sweet well, I just have to say
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: coming out is so scary and exciting, and you feel
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: relief and you feel all the feelings that you could
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: ever feel in one moment. And I think sometimes it
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: feels like you're coming out so many times because I mean,
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: even to this day, if someone asks me, you know, oh,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: they'll see my ring and be like, oh, what does
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: your husband do your rings beauty? Or what is your
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: you know, yeah, husband do your rings beautiful? And I'm like, oh,
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: I'm engaged a woman. You know, there's constantly a need
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: to come out. But I love that you already know
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: their family is going to be so supportive of such
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: a huge deal.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: Stood out to me.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: Too, knowing that you have friends like you guys who
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: wrote in like how that is so amazing to have
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: that type of support that you're reaching out to a
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: podcast to have us to give them support. I think
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: there's a whole community waiting to welcome you with open arms,
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: and people that might be unfamiliar with it but willing
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: to learn more because they love you. I think it
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: gives people a chance to expand their hearts and their minds,
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: and you being a part of that for people is
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: so important, and you're so important for so many people
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: who are also on their journey to finding themselves and
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: who they love. So I just want to encourage you
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: and say that we love you, and we support you.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: We love you so much.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: This is a huge step and we know it's going
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: to go great, and that the best is you have
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: to come truly.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: And getting to find someone you love is the best ever,
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: and love yourself is the greatest gift ever.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: You know what I was thinking about.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: And this might be just like totally as a straight
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: woman saying this, but like, do you think that they'll
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: ever be a time where like you don't have to
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: come out like it's just like like I never had
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: to say it, come out and say that I was
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: like attracted to men, Do you know what I mean? Like,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: do you think that we'll ever get to a point
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: where it's just like it'll you just it is, It
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: is what it is.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: I think there are younger people who are.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: These moments of like I have to come out to
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: my parents and I have to come out to my
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: friends like that whole, that whole like tenseness of it
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: is just like not a thing anymore.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: I mean I hope, I mean that would be the hope.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: But I do think there's like younger people now they
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: just say like they have a crush or they like
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: so and so. You know, watching the prom videos of
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: people asking their uh their prom proposal, proposal or whatever
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: and it being two girls or two boys, and I
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, that's so. I can't even imagine people doing.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: I mean, I went to a small Baptist school, but
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: it's amazing to see young.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: Had some people my like, really, yeah, WHOA.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: So I I think people are less it's a little
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: more comfortable, but I think unfortunately there's a stigma and
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: opinion about it.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Do you think that will ever change?
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: I think you have to hope so right, like you
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: to say no feels dark, and I hope that there's
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: a world where you can just say I am dating
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: so and so.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: And it's yeah. So, I feel like there's so much
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: even just reading this email, like there's so much pressure
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: in this like coming out to the parents even though
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: they know. I'm like, that's like stressful.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: I know, I know it is, and especially being like
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: I don't know how old they are, but I know
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: it doesn't matter the age. But I do feel when
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: you're younger, well, but when you are younger and the
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: pressure of how people expect your life to be and right.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I hope that there's a time where that's
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: not the case.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: Me just with the thought provoking questions.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's beautiful. This last one is.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: Anna about Girls Like Girls.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: I'll take it over.
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's your turn.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: Day one Scrubber Year. I just wanted to tell you
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: all that I just saw my very first movie alone,
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: Girls Like Girls boo. I really wanted to support the movie,
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: but was having a hard time coordinating with friends, so
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: I just went to see it by myself. What an
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: incredibly beautiful, moving story. I absolutely loved it. I just
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: feel so proud of Haley and I'm so happy for Becca,
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: so happy for the love she and Becca have found.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: Love.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: How supportive you are all are of each other. Proud
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: scrubber for life. Oh that's so sweet, Anna. I love
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: going to movies by myself. You do, Oh my gosh.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: I love going to the movie.
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: Have you seen by yourself?
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Name a movie, Yeah, you name it. When I lived
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: in San Diego, every single Tuesday there was I still
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: had my student ID from the one year I went
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: to college and I was like mid twenties at this time.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: I would use my student ID and I would go
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: and get a seven dollars movie ticket and a free
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: popcorn Minnesota. Every single Tuesday, no matter what movie was out,
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: I'd go watch it.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever seen a movie alone. Never,
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: once in my life I took.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: The best activity to do alone because you're not talking
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: to anybody, You're just eating your snacks and watching a movie.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: I've never died.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: I don't even I neestly even thought twice of like,
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: oh can I go alone? Is that awkward? I just
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: if I want to see a movie, I just go. No.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's awkward. I just like it just
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: feels like an activity I would never do, Like solo.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: It's a perfect so loo activity.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Like if I'm going to watch a movie but myself,
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: I'll just stay at home, do you know what I mean?
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Like, well, yeah, but if you want to see it. Well,
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: this was before you know, when you didn't have streaming
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: and stuff and you want to see a movie.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: I never went to the movies until really until I
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: had step kids.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: And I just want to say thank you for support
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: because you could have just waited till it came out.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: She could have for this and do it watch it
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: at home. But I really appreciate you fighting through and
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: go alone. I do too, Honestly, I would go girls
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: like Girls is a great movie to watch alone.
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: Yes it is.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: I love it. I've seen it nine times.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: That's so crazy.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: And I've seen it a lot of on demand right now.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: I feel like I've seen it a lot of times.
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: And I was like, you see it twice as much
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: as me.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: You saw it a lot in a short span of
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: time too.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I feel like I could quote it same, But I say,
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: a movie alone, yes, do it, do it for the
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: But what I want to see? Like that's the whole thing.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: Like what would I want to see? What's out right now? Nothing?
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: I don't know what's out right now? But wait till
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: something that you like, a cute rom com or something.
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: Oh you know what movie I want to see?
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: What the Calum Turner and Mansa got alone? Yeah, Like
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: I would wait for it to come streaming go see.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: It's so fun.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: Go see it. Just so we have something to talk
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: about on the podcast. Do it for work?
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, we're.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: Gonna take a break and we're gonna come back and
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: we're going to do the game. It's just me and Tanya,
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: but we're gonna h.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: Sam texting us the name. So these aren't just like
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: self thought names.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because last some'm Tanya and I played by ourselves.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: I gave her a linel ritchie and she gave me
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: Hillary stuff. So it was a slightly unfair dynamic. So
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: Sam is sending us each someone of equal I thought,
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: I just saw yours. You saw what you're writing for me? Yeah, okay,
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: so we're gonna be right back and you're gonna play along.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: Yep, all right, we're back and we are.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: We have post its on our head with the celebrities name,
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: so we're gonna get right into our questions.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: As a loser, Can I go first?
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: Sure?
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: Thanks? Am I a man?
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: No am I a woman?
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: No am I a woman?
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: Yes? Well you never know, you know, am I saying?
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: No?
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: Uh?
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: Am I an actress?
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: No? No am I an actress? Im an actor? Yes?
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: Am I a singer?
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: Uh huh.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: Am I over thirty?
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: Yes? Am I a current pop star?
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: Am I in movies?
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: Yes? Am I married?
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: No? Am I in a movie this year?
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: We're fact checking, we're fact checking, fact checking. I'm leaning
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: towards no, but I want to give you accurate information.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: Thank you?
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: No?
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: Oh no, not a movie this year?
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: So I am a woman that's a singer. I am
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: a current pop star and I'm not married. Am I
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: dating somebody?
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: No?
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: No? Thanks? Okay?
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: Am I white?
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: Yep? Am I white?
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: Yes? So I'm a man, I'm an actor, I'm over thirty,
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: I'm in movies, and I'm white? Yeah? Am I considered
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: a heart throb?
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: No? Am I under thirty five?
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: No?
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: No over thirty five?
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: Am I over seventy?
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: No?
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Do I have a current song on the radio right now?
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: No? Am I a comedian actor?
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: Am I a fan of myself? Am I a fan
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: of this singer? I think?
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: So? Am I am a movie with Leslie Mann?
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, Oh my god, you know who you are, don't you?
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: You?
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: Little?
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: Okay? Am I Disney's channel star?
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: No? Am I in a show called the Studio?
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: No, it's tough, it's bleak out there? Am I have
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: I played Coachella?
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: I don't think so?
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: Am I married?
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: Yes? Do I have children?
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: I have children?
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: Did I officiate a wedding recently?
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: Yes? I have to get it. I just have a guess.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: Now you can ask another. I might ask one more.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: Have I been to this person's concert before?
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: You don't know? Hard to say?
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: I mean I would hope so mm hmm.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: Am I Ellie Golding? No?
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: Love her though?
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: My Adam Sandler, it's so annoying.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: Why are you always beating me this stupid game? Are
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: you cheating?
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: No? How do you do it?
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: There's a million, billion, ka trillion people in this world?
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: I know, I just narrow it down? How I don't know?
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: Guide me? Where am I? What am I missing? Here?
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: Singers are hard?
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: Can I phone a friend get a clue?
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah? She is famous from competition?
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: Ah? Am I Kelly Clarkson? Yeah?
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Have you been to Kelly's show?
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: I have?
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: I love her?
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I've gone to one of her like shows
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: and then she's still sung at like some iHeart festival things.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm such a Kelly Clarkson fan, me too, Like forever.
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: Was she at the wedding?
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: I didn't see her?
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I didn't think so, so I was
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: gonna ask you it was I a Taylor and Travis's wedding.
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: But I didn't want to guide you down that path.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean?
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to take you down that path because
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: then I was like, oh, she'll for sure get She'll
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: ask the same.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: Last week, the guy you had, Petro, I didn't know.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Mark said he was there and I was like, oh,
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: nesed to.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: Me, Well, with a thousand people, you know, you tend
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: to some get lost in the crowd.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: If he would have had his boots on, those.
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: Would have been memorable. I just won, Okay, I want
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: to win that you.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: Will, just like the birthday game. Sometimes it takes time.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Good things take time.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: I'm always a loser, you know, drama.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: We have clips of you celebrating so big from you
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: winning and think how good that feels.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, if you're not down, it doesn't feel
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: as good to be up, like you're just always up,
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: like you're always winning. I'd rather be the struggle, the
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: girl that struggles.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: And so when you win, it's like it's a celebration
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: from the world. Everyone's doing it together. Yeah okay, all right,
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Well thanks for playing along as always, and that's the
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: end of this episode.
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: We love you so much and see you next week.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: Love you so much.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: You byeh