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What’s the Secret to Use Family Play Therapy Confidently? · Next Level Play Therapy: A Podcast for Play Therapy Excellence

• 0:02
  Cathi Spooner: Welcome to Next Level Play Therapy, a weekly podcast dedicated to supporting the next generation of child and adolescent therapists to provide exceptional play therapy services.
• 0:14
  Cathi Spooner: We'll explore all things play therapy to elevate your work with children and adolescents using the therapeutic powers of play.
• 0:23
  Cathi Spooner: I'll discuss practical tips and ideas.
• 0:26
  Cathi Spooner: So you can provide a transformative experience for your young clients and make a real difference in their lives.
• 0:34
  Cathi Spooner: So get ready to take your play therapy skills to the next level and make a lasting impact in the lives of children, adolescents, and families.
• 0:48
  Cathi Spooner: Hey there, welcome to this week's episode of Next Level Play Therapy.
• 0:53
  Cathi Spooner: Today we're going to talk about how to use family play therapy.
• 0:58
  Cathi Spooner: So I don't, if you've listened to some of my episodes in the past, you've probably heard me talk a little bit about, excuse me, my background, which is family systems theory.
• 1:13
  Cathi Spooner: Like I remember back in 1990, we had to do a theories class in our social work masters of social work program.
• 1:24
  Cathi Spooner: And the theory, I don't know why, but for some reason, I, I elected to do this family, family therapy theory, and we had to do it in groups.
• 1:35
  Cathi Spooner: Um, and I don't know if I was assigned.
• 1:39
  Cathi Spooner: Anyway, I ended up learning about this thing called family systems theory, and it opened up such a world of understanding for me.
• 1:51
  Cathi Spooner: It because I'd always want wanted to help children and adolescents.
• 1:56
  Cathi Spooner: That was always my passion.
• 1:58
  Cathi Spooner: I want, and then when I found out about this therapy thing, I thought, Oh, that's what I want to do.
• 2:05
  Cathi Spooner: I don't want to teach them cause that was a special education teacher for children.
• 2:11
  Cathi Spooner: And I, I went to grad school and had this took this, course we all have to take on theories and family systems theory made so much sense.
• 2:26
  Cathi Spooner: It was like the missing piece to the puzzle that I'd been really, didn't even really know that I was missing until I took the course.
• 2:38
  Cathi Spooner: And then I thought, oh my gosh, how can you work with children and not understand family systems theory because children live within the context of families.
• 2:50
  Cathi Spooner: So then fast forward a decade, probably two decades, um, and I began to discover attachment theory and, um, neuroscience and looking at children in terms of, um, their neurocircuitry and that whole concept of attachment relationships and how that influences development and all those things within a family systems context.
• 3:22
  Cathi Spooner: Then my work with children began to take a much more what I call holistic meaning.
• 3:32
  Cathi Spooner: I'm going to look at the child within the context of the environments where they are spending every single day of their lives.
• 3:42
  Cathi Spooner: Which means I'm going to be conceptualizing what's going on within the context of their family system.
• 3:50
  Cathi Spooner: And then how that attachment relationship even influences that neurocircuitry and development to help better understand what's going to work to help my clients achieve what they need to accomplish in therapy.
• 4:11
  Cathi Spooner: And so usually when I suggest, cause I do a lot of consulting, um, I've done a consulting and supervision of play therapists for over 15 years now.
• 4:24
  Cathi Spooner: And usually when I've suggested along the way, hey, you may want to try, you know, what, what do you think about family play therapy sessions?
• 4:34
  Cathi Spooner: I usually get a look of, okay.
• 4:37
  Cathi Spooner: You're not, you're kidding, right?
• 4:38
  Cathi Spooner: Like disbelieved.
• 4:40
  Cathi Spooner: And then when they realize that I'm not kidding, then I usually get a look of, Oh no, what?
• 4:48
  Cathi Spooner: That can't be.
• 4:50
  Cathi Spooner: Um, feelings like surprised, overwhelmed sometimes every once in a while, usually now because people in my Play Therapy Academy program are a little used to me suggesting it, um, over the years.
• 5:05
  Cathi Spooner: And now they may be a little amused or curious what that might look like.
• 5:12
  Cathi Spooner: So it, it makes sense though, when you think about why family play therapy is probably not being used as much as you think.
• 5:22
  Cathi Spooner: Because most of our training, even in graduate school, most of our training is focused on the individual, having one person in the session to manage.
• 5:35
  Cathi Spooner: Having an in employee therapy, you have one person in the session, you're using play, you're speaking their play language, It's much easier to manage and there's not a lot of training on, well, how do you get more people in there?
• 5:52
  Cathi Spooner: I think some of the models, I think now that play therapists are really starting to embrace that whole idea of neuroscience and attachment theory.
• 6:02
  Cathi Spooner: And there are some models that are more attachment focused when that integrate the child and one parent.
• 6:12
  Cathi Spooner: Which I think is awesome.
• 6:13
  Cathi Spooner: And I have used these models myself.
• 6:16
  Cathi Spooner: Um, and what I began to realize was it didn't give me those models didn't give me the flexibility that I needed because sometimes I wanted to see the whole family interactions.
• 6:31
  Cathi Spooner: I wanted to see for myself, what people were saying was the problem.
• 6:38
  Cathi Spooner: Parents saying what the problem children saying what the problem is.
• 6:45
  Cathi Spooner: And so that's when I realized I really needed to go back to my roots of family therapy.
• 6:52
  Cathi Spooner: And then how do you integrate family therapy and play therapy.
• 6:59
  Cathi Spooner: And then, so along the way I, I developed this model called Attachment Focused Family Play Therapy.
• 7:06
  Cathi Spooner: So I'm going to talk a little bit about that today in terms of, cause that's the model I use.
• 7:12
  Cathi Spooner: When I'm using family play therapy.
• 7:15
  Cathi Spooner: I'm also going to talk a little bit at the end.
• 7:17
  Cathi Spooner: So you probably want to stay tuned.
• 7:20
  Cathi Spooner: I'm going to talk a little bit about a training, a live webinar that I come have coming up to teach you my Attachment Focused Family Play Therapy model.
• 7:31
  Cathi Spooner: Um, I also have my book Attachment Focused Family Play Therapy.
• 7:36
  Cathi Spooner: This one, the book is more focused on trauma and helping children and adolescents come overcoming trauma.
• 7:45
  Cathi Spooner: But it goes, it goes over the model and it goes over the model in a lot more depth.
• 7:51
  Cathi Spooner: Um, and I use the model with pretty much most of my clients over the years.
• 7:59
  Cathi Spooner: Um, so I'll talk a little bit about that at the end, the webinar coming up.
• 8:03
  Cathi Spooner: If you're.
• 8:04
  Cathi Spooner: Um, not available for the webinar.
• 8:06
  Cathi Spooner: There's going to be a recorded version of the webinar available for purchase as well.
• 8:13
  Cathi Spooner: The way that I look at it though, family play therapy can be an invaluable tool in your play therapy toolbox.
• 8:22
  Cathi Spooner: Like even I will start out using just individual play therapy because I want to get to know the child a little bit.
• 8:31
  Cathi Spooner: I want to get to know parents and I want to build rapport with parents.
• 8:36
  Cathi Spooner: I'll usually do that first, at least the first 90 days before I start maybe integrating in my attachment focused family play therapy model.
• 8:47
  Cathi Spooner: The thing is though, It's I think it's an invaluable tool because we're in most of the trainings, we get an individual approach to providing play therapy.
• 9:01
  Cathi Spooner: So how to what to do an individual counseling sessions.
• 9:05
  Cathi Spooner: using play therapy with your clients.
• 9:08
  Cathi Spooner: But I feel like a lot of what we miss is the richness of information and opportunities for healing the whole family system.
• 9:21
  Cathi Spooner: Helping the whole family system heal because your client is going to be with their family much longer than you are.
• 9:30
  Cathi Spooner: And if you can build up those relationships and help develop that resiliency, then in my mind, you've provided a lot of support to sustain the changes that have been made to sustain that healing that you accomplished in the play therapy treatment process.
• 9:54
  Cathi Spooner: So why would you not, want to use a model that would get those really long term benefits.
• 10:03
  Cathi Spooner: Excuse me.
• 10:04
  Cathi Spooner: I have a little tickle in my throat, so let me have some.
• 10:07
  Cathi Spooner: I'll have some coffee.
• 10:13
  Cathi Spooner: Excuse me.
• 10:14
  Cathi Spooner: Alrighty.
• 10:15
  Cathi Spooner: So that's what I'm going to talk about today.
• 10:18
  Cathi Spooner: If you're interested in learning a little bit more about family play therapy, then I'm going to kind of give an overview of some things to consider.
• 10:28
  Cathi Spooner: I've got like five things, sorry, four, four things to consider for today.
• 10:36
  Cathi Spooner: If you're interested in learning more than stay tuned at the end, because then I'll, I'll talk a little bit more about my live webinar coming up.
• 10:48
  Cathi Spooner: So for those of you who maybe are watching later or you're not, or you're watching, listening to the podcast or you're not available on September 14th, then the recorded version will be available as well.
• 11:03
  Cathi Spooner: So I would love to see, let me check in, let me see who's here.
• 11:07
  Cathi Spooner: I would love to know who's here.
• 11:09
  Cathi Spooner: What population are you working with?
• 11:11
  Cathi Spooner: Are you using family play therapy currently?
• 11:16
  Cathi Spooner: What, what play therapy modalities are you using where, where you are, um, and what population you work with?
• 11:28
  Cathi Spooner: So, um, let's see.
• 11:31
  Cathi Spooner: I'm looking on Instagram.
• 11:33
  Cathi Spooner: So, So I live stream every week into Instagram and I also live stream into YouTube and LinkedIn and I post the replay of that now in my Facebook group which is Play an Expressive Arts Therapy Playground.
• 11:52
  Cathi Spooner: Because Meta won't let me use Streamy Yard to stream in there anymore.
• 11:58
  Cathi Spooner: So, and I really like using Streamy yard, so I'm not gonna give that up.
• 12:04
  Cathi Spooner: So here we have on Instagram, we have.
• 12:08
  Cathi Spooner: Um, I hope I'm pronouncing your name correctly.
• 12:11
  Cathi Spooner: Mandana High graduate student.
• 12:13
  Cathi Spooner: Welcome.
• 12:15
  Cathi Spooner: And then also another person, family therapist, but interested in creative and play approaches.
• 12:22
  Cathi Spooner: That's awesome.
• 12:23
  Cathi Spooner: I, I really feel like if you're using, um, family therapy because you're having children from a variety of developmental stages that can be a little challenging to figure out how to get them to talk.
• 12:38
  Cathi Spooner: Um, like, how are you going to get a 5 year old to talk and how are you going to integrate a like a 14 year old, a 10 year old and maybe even a 2 year old?
• 12:48
  Cathi Spooner: How does that look?
• 12:49
  Cathi Spooner: And in my mind, you can get them all to play and use a play therapy model, then you can find out tons of things.
• 13:00
  Cathi Spooner: Um, awesome.
• 13:03
  Cathi Spooner: Bringing family therapy and play therapy together, uh, approaches together.
• 13:07
  Cathi Spooner: That's awesome.
• 13:09
  Cathi Spooner: Yep.
• 13:09
  Cathi Spooner: So that's what we're going to talk about today.
• 13:11
  Cathi Spooner: Um, all right, so let's, let's get started.
• 13:17
  Cathi Spooner: Today.
• 13:18
  Cathi Spooner: We are talking about how to use family play therapy effectively.
• 13:23
  Cathi Spooner: I'm going to give an overview of four things to think about.
• 13:28
  Cathi Spooner: First and foremost, if you have listened to any of my episodes previously, you'll probably heard me say this because I say it over and over because I think it is so important to highlight what I'm about to highlight, because it is the foundation for success.
• 13:49
  Cathi Spooner: And that is what is your framework for case conceptualization and treatment planning?
• 13:56
  Cathi Spooner: Your play therapy model is going to be grounded in a theoretical frame, uh, model.
• 14:05
  Cathi Spooner: It's grounded in theory and theory drives application.
• 14:09
  Cathi Spooner: Theory drives how do you take that theory and what do you do in sessions.
• 14:15
  Cathi Spooner: How do you tell where they are in the change process?
• 14:19
  Cathi Spooner: What does each stage of change look like?
• 14:22
  Cathi Spooner: But in, in order to figure out what you need to do, you first need to figure out what is the problem and why is it happening?
• 14:31
  Cathi Spooner: This is your case conceptualization.
• 14:34
  Cathi Spooner: This is where you take all of that detailed, as much as detailed as you could possibly get in one session, 90 minutes to two hours is usually what I I allow, or when I was in private practice, I had a different process to gather all the information.
• 14:53
  Cathi Spooner: But the key is that we've gathered the information we need in that very first session to begin formulating an understanding of what is probably going on and what are some of the patterns going on in the child's life that are sustaining this, uh, problematic behavior.
• 15:14
  Cathi Spooner: And it's problematic because It's creating some challenges in their lives that is preventing them from living that resilient and full life.
• 15:26
  Cathi Spooner: So we're not focused on helping children be happy.
• 15:30
  Cathi Spooner: I know parents come in and they will say that.
• 15:32
  Cathi Spooner: And then I usually have a conversation about happiness.
• 15:37
  Cathi Spooner: 24 hours a day, seven days a week is not possible.
• 15:41
  Cathi Spooner: No one can be happy 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.
• 15:48
  Cathi Spooner: What we really want to look, help them accomplish is to develop resiliency.
• 15:54
  Cathi Spooner: and a reduction of whatever the symptoms are that are coming in.
• 15:57
  Cathi Spooner: But first we need to understand what that is.
• 16:01
  Cathi Spooner: And then we use our theory model to influence how we're understanding that problem and how we're understanding the patterns that sustain it.
• 16:13
  Cathi Spooner: So if I'm using an attachment lens that I'm going to be conceptualizing the problem from an attachment lens.
• 16:23
  Cathi Spooner: If I'm using a child centered play therapy theoretical lens, then I'm conceptualizing the problem through that theoretical lens.
• 16:33
  Cathi Spooner: And then my theory is going to determine how am I going to help my clients solve this problem?
• 16:43
  Cathi Spooner: So if I'm using child centered play therapy, then I'm going to conceptualize the treatment approach and what I'm doing in sessions and how I'm making sense of the problem.
• 16:54
  Cathi Spooner: So my theory model, my play therapy approach, can help resolve that problem, then that will influence what I do in session and who's in the sessions.
• 17:08
  Cathi Spooner: If I'm using child centered play therapy, then I am not using family play therapy.
• 17:13
  Cathi Spooner: That, it just doesn't work.
• 17:16
  Cathi Spooner: That's not how the theory is applied.
• 17:19
  Cathi Spooner: If I want to use a child centered play therapy approach, but I want to include parents, then I'll, I'll learn either the Filial therapy model or the Child Parent relationship theory model.
• 17:37
  Cathi Spooner: And then I'll get one parent in and one child and I'll teach them how to be that child centered play therapist for their child essentially.
• 17:47
  Cathi Spooner: So there's a specific model.
• 17:50
  Cathi Spooner: If I'm using Gestalt play therapy or maybe even Adlerian play therapy, then those models will include the child's environment and those models will also allow for using Adlerian play therapy in family play therapy, and it will influence what you're, how you're conceptualizing the problem, what you're doing in the sessions.
• 18:18
  Cathi Spooner: So your theory, your case conceptualization is going to influence your treatment planning.
• 18:24
  Cathi Spooner: And first and foremost, you, for family play therapy to be effective, you really need to be able to identify and get that kind of at least the beginnings of a good case conceptualization started and that's going to influence your treatment planning.
• 18:45
  Cathi Spooner: What are you going to be doing in the sessions.
• 18:48
  Cathi Spooner: So full disclosure, if you're watching on the video, if you're watching on either LinkedIn or YouTube, I don't know if you can see it on Instagram because I stream into Instagram on my phone, which is why I look back and forth from the cameras You you probably might have noticed That my dog has entered the room Luna is in the room and she's digging on the carpet So if you hear this weird Digging sound in the background.
• 19:19
  Cathi Spooner: She's now laying down.
• 19:21
  Cathi Spooner: Hi Lou.
• 19:22
  Cathi Spooner: She knows I'm talking about her if She may start rolling around and moaning So if you hear any of that noise in the back background, it's my dog Luna.
• 19:35
  Cathi Spooner: I don't know where Lily is.
• 19:37
  Cathi Spooner: She's probably in her bed right now.
• 19:39
  Cathi Spooner: Anyways, if you hear a little jingle jingle, that might be Lily entering the office.
• 19:45
  Cathi Spooner: So, uh, just full disclosure on that.
• 19:49
  Cathi Spooner: So I'm, uh, welcome.
• 19:51
  Cathi Spooner: We have Bettina.
• 19:53
  Cathi Spooner: Bettina says, I'm a play therapist and my patients often want their parents in the room.
• 19:58
  Cathi Spooner: Yes, that happens a lot.
• 20:00
  Cathi Spooner: So I have this wonderful opportunity to support the relationship, but I kind of wing it and want to know, be more intentional.
• 20:07
  Cathi Spooner: That's awesome.
• 20:08
  Cathi Spooner: That yeah, kids usually like their parents in there.
• 20:11
  Cathi Spooner: Sometimes they do.
• 20:12
  Cathi Spooner: Sometimes they don't.
• 20:14
  Cathi Spooner: Especially if I'm using child centered play therapy, they're like, Yeah, this is all about me.
• 20:20
  Cathi Spooner: Uh, but I, I can usually get them to shift.
• 20:22
  Cathi Spooner: So yeah, that's an, that is a great point, Bettina.
• 20:27
  Cathi Spooner: So, and again, I agree, family play therapy will be a great way for that to happen.
• 20:36
  Cathi Spooner: So, The thing that you want to do is think about what your theory model is.
• 20:41
  Cathi Spooner: I use an attachment focused family play therapy model.
• 20:46
  Cathi Spooner: It's kind of an integration of attachment theory and that interpersonal neurobiology, what we know about neuroscience, what we've learned from polyvagal theory and integrating that with a family systems approach approach.
• 21:03
  Cathi Spooner: And, um, Interestingly enough, I know you want to know this because you're nerdy like me.
• 21:10
  Cathi Spooner: I don't know if you want to know this, but I'm going to tell you anyway.
• 21:13
  Cathi Spooner: Um, I was actually really surprised that, um, there was someone, I think it was back in the nineties or maybe even the eighties out.
• 21:25
  Cathi Spooner: Uh, I think he was also, I think out of the UK.
• 21:30
  Cathi Spooner: Um, his name was John.
• 21:32
  Cathi Spooner: I, I pronounce it, uh, being B.
• 21:35
  Cathi Spooner: I think it's B Y N G or B Y G N.
• 21:40
  Cathi Spooner: Um, he actually integrated attachment theory and family, family theory, uh, family systems theory way, way back in the day, and I found that really interesting.
• 21:53
  Cathi Spooner: So I kind of looked at some of the work that he had done when I was writing my book.
• 21:57
  Cathi Spooner: Um, But I like using, uh, a family systems that uses, I like using a family play therapy model that uses family systems attachment and neuroscience because when I use that format, then I begin to conceptualize what is the problem going on and why is it happening?
• 22:22
  Cathi Spooner: What patterns are sustaining it through that lens?
• 22:26
  Cathi Spooner: And then the model that I use, which is attachment focused family play therapy, then influences how am I going to conceptualize the problem?
• 22:38
  Cathi Spooner: And then what am I going to do?
• 22:40
  Cathi Spooner: It's also going to allow me to figure out where my clients are in the change process.
• 22:50
  Cathi Spooner: What, what does each stage of change look like?
• 22:53
  Cathi Spooner: What type of interventions or activities am I doing?
• 22:59
  Cathi Spooner: And the first stage of treatment versus the third stage or even the last stage.
• 23:05
  Cathi Spooner: It's going to be dependent upon where they are in the change process.
• 23:10
  Cathi Spooner: And your theory model helps you understand and identify where they are in the change process.
• 23:17
  Cathi Spooner: So you know what to be working on in that process.
• 23:21
  Cathi Spooner: So in my mind, Sorry, my dog Luna is digging Luna.
• 23:25
  Cathi Spooner: If you hear that scratching sound in the background, that's Luna digging in the carpet So yeah, so your your play therapy model is gonna Influence what you do in the sessions.
• 23:42
  Cathi Spooner: This is also true with family therapy So that you don't a lot of times what I find happening is exactly what you're talking about Betina with a Betina which is that you want to, you know, it's important to get them in there.
• 23:59
  Cathi Spooner: So you do it, but you're not sure, or parents want you to have, parents want to be in there, or the child wants their parent to be in there and they won't come without their child, without their parent.
• 24:11
  Cathi Spooner: So then you have them in there, but there's no plan.
• 24:14
  Cathi Spooner: There's no framework in place.
• 24:17
  Cathi Spooner: So you feel awkward.
• 24:19
  Cathi Spooner: Probably the parent feels awkward.
• 24:22
  Cathi Spooner: And you're not sure what to do.
• 24:25
  Cathi Spooner: Whereas if you have a model that you're using that provides a framework and your framework is based on a theoretical is based on theory that it's going to give you an idea of what to do in each stage of the change process.
• 24:45
  Cathi Spooner: So the second thing to keep in mind is that safety is critical, right?
• 24:53
  Cathi Spooner: We know from neuroscience research that our clients will only really engage in the change process when they feel safe.
• 25:05
  Cathi Spooner: We know that their social engagement circuits won't engage unless they feel safe.
• 25:11
  Cathi Spooner: This is true for parents as well.
• 25:14
  Cathi Spooner: It just looks a little different for parents than it does for kids.
• 25:18
  Cathi Spooner: Like I had, we, we, I hear this, what I'm about to say, I hear this all the time and it is a real, a real thing.
• 25:27
  Cathi Spooner: It is legitimate.
• 25:28
  Cathi Spooner: It is cause for concern.
• 25:30
  Cathi Spooner: Like getting parents will be in there, you're doing family play therapy sessions, but the child is dysregulated.
• 25:38
  Cathi Spooner: Like you're getting started.
• 25:41
  Cathi Spooner: It's like the first stage parents are, I mean, child is dysregulated.
• 25:47
  Cathi Spooner: They're kind of yelling at their parents.
• 25:50
  Cathi Spooner: I hate you.
• 25:52
  Cathi Spooner: I've had little ones with these most cherubic faces.
• 25:57
  Cathi Spooner: Look at their parent and just let a string of curse words just fly.
• 26:04
  Cathi Spooner: Um, dropping some F bombs, telling them they hate them, their worst parents ever, kicking, throwing, um, it's a little daunting.
• 26:14
  Cathi Spooner: But what does that tell me?
• 26:16
  Cathi Spooner: Here's what that tells me.
• 26:19
  Cathi Spooner: That client doesn't feel safe in the, you know, if this is happening in the beginning, it's because they don't feel safe.
• 26:27
  Cathi Spooner: So then you know, because of your theory model, that the first order of business is what kind of interventions are going to help your clients feel safe.
• 26:39
  Cathi Spooner: What do you need to do?
• 26:40
  Cathi Spooner: How do you need to structure things?
• 26:42
  Cathi Spooner: Um, it also is most likely that your child, your client has some emotion regulation, like circuitry based things.
• 26:53
  Cathi Spooner: So that gives you information.
• 26:55
  Cathi Spooner: If you got that out of your case conceptualization, it's going to tell you what to do to help engage that client.
• 27:02
  Cathi Spooner: Um, so that's why you don't want to skip that first part.
• 27:05
  Cathi Spooner: Don't skip that biopsychosocial assessment.
• 27:10
  Cathi Spooner: Make sure you do that to gather up some good info.
• 27:13
  Cathi Spooner: Um, so safety first and foremost.
• 27:19
  Cathi Spooner: is the first order of business that includes parents.
• 27:24
  Cathi Spooner: Parents feeling comfortable with you because the child's natural language is play.
• 27:29
  Cathi Spooner: Parents natural language is not play.
• 27:32
  Cathi Spooner: So you want to figure out how to get them engaged.
• 27:36
  Cathi Spooner: And that's going to mean you need to build trust with them.
• 27:40
  Cathi Spooner: So here's the other thing, uh, family play therapy sessions, like the first session or two or three.
• 27:48
  Cathi Spooner: Maybe even four can feel uncomfortable just because it's uncomfortable doesn't necessarily mean it's not working.
• 27:57
  Cathi Spooner: It just means you have some work to do.
• 28:00
  Cathi Spooner: Um, or, you know, one thing I've heard, another thing I've heard along the way is, well, you know, so and so can't be in there.
• 28:10
  Cathi Spooner: And when I ask why if there's not really anything other than it makes my individual client feel uncomfortable and I don't necessarily think that is a deal breaker.
• 28:22
  Cathi Spooner: It might be because part of what you need to do is who can safely be involved and you have to do some work individually with each family member.
• 28:33
  Cathi Spooner: For example, uh, maybe you're working on some reunification after the child was removed from the home due to abuse.
• 28:44
  Cathi Spooner: You may need to do a little work with the child first and a little work with the parents separately.
• 28:50
  Cathi Spooner: And then slowly integrate them into sessions together.
• 28:55
  Cathi Spooner: Um, sometimes you, you can't because of the nature of what happens.
• 29:01
  Cathi Spooner: Sometimes it's just not a good idea to have a family member in there.
• 29:07
  Cathi Spooner: I find that's not generally, the rule with most populations.
• 29:13
  Cathi Spooner: Unless you're working in a population, your population is like, they have a lot of attachment trauma, um, then you're probably going to spend a little more time if that's your main population.
• 29:28
  Cathi Spooner: But generally speaking.
• 29:31
  Cathi Spooner: in play therapy for the vast majority of clients that play therapists work with.
• 29:39
  Cathi Spooner: The presence of discomfort doesn't necessarily mean that person can't be in the play therapy session.
• 29:47
  Cathi Spooner: It just means you probably have to do some work before that happens and you get them in the session.
• 29:54
  Cathi Spooner: But safety is first.
• 29:56
  Cathi Spooner: You have to establish a sense of safety with everybody in there.
• 30:01
  Cathi Spooner: Um, and that may take a little time and play therapy is a perfect way to do that because play is fun and you can do some activities that are, that are fine and not intimidating.
• 30:16
  Cathi Spooner: Like I would do really low, low distress activities in the beginning in order to accomplish that developing safety.
• 30:26
  Cathi Spooner: The other thing is, and it kind of goes along with safety, is developing therapeutic rapport.
• 30:32
  Cathi Spooner: You really need to first and foremost develop therapeutic rapport with parents before you start, well with the child too, but if parents are the therapeutic agents of change, you need, really need to get their buy in.
• 30:46
  Cathi Spooner: You need them to feel comfortable with you and trust you so that when you get them into the sessions, which is out of their comfort zone, doing play therapy, uh, with their child, because they feel like you're judging them, even though you're not, that's where that safety and rapport building is, is really important.
• 31:05
  Cathi Spooner: Um, then you're, you're, you're going to need to establish that therapeutic rapport.
• 31:11
  Cathi Spooner: In the initial stage of treatment of any model, really involves building rapport with client, with clients.
• 31:18
  Cathi Spooner: And I would say this is even true with family play therapy.
• 31:22
  Cathi Spooner: So those, that first stage of family play therapy is really about building trust and building rapport with everybody in there.
• 31:32
  Cathi Spooner: And they may do that at varying degrees and it may take, you know, varying amounts of time because everybody in there is an individual and you're building that rapport with the family system with those unique individuals in there.
• 31:49
  Cathi Spooner: Um, the other thing is you need to be really fully present.
• 31:53
  Cathi Spooner: and aware during those sessions so that you're kind of picking up and understanding what's going on in those sessions.
• 32:02
  Cathi Spooner: You're learning how to read the cues of family members.
• 32:06
  Cathi Spooner: You're helping parents read those cues, which means you have to be attuned.
• 32:11
  Cathi Spooner: And that's where that attachment and neuroscience lens comes in to help you understand how to do that and what does that even look like.
• 32:21
  Cathi Spooner: And then the, the, the fourth thing is really those even like my model attachment focused family play therapy.
• 32:33
  Cathi Spooner: We'll do some family play therapy sessions and then we'll do parent coaching sessions.
• 32:39
  Cathi Spooner: Family play therapy sessions, parent coaching session, family play therapy sessions, parent coaching sessions.
• 32:45
  Cathi Spooner: You need to have that contact with parents with just parents alone to be to help them engage as your partner in the change process that you're kind of working collaboratively and helping support them to learn the attachment based parenting skills that you're going to teach them.
• 33:12
  Cathi Spooner: They're using those family play therapy sessions to practice those attachment based parenting skills.
• 33:21
  Cathi Spooner: that you've taught them.
• 33:23
  Cathi Spooner: They can practice that in the sessions.
• 33:25
  Cathi Spooner: So those parent only coaching sessions help you, one, keep that trust and rapport with parents, help to gauge what's going on throughout the change process, get their feedback about how things are going.
• 33:41
  Cathi Spooner: Collaboratively work together to figure out what activities you're going to be doing and where they want to focus and how are you going to go about doing that.
• 33:54
  Cathi Spooner: So you really need to have that dedicated time just with parents in order to develop that trust.
• 34:03
  Cathi Spooner: and invite parents as active participants in that change process.
• 34:10
  Cathi Spooner: The other thing is that it goes kind of goes back to that sense of safety and rapport building.
• 34:17
  Cathi Spooner: If you've developed that really strong rapport with parents, then that's going to be kind of the glue that keeps them engaged.
• 34:26
  Cathi Spooner: Even when things get a little challenging.
• 34:29
  Cathi Spooner: Even when your clients are a little dysregulated in this session.
• 34:35
  Cathi Spooner: You're going to be in there helping parents figure out how to co regulate because the likelihood if they're dysregulating in your office, the likelihood that's why parents are bringing them because they're getting dysregulated at home and parents don't know what to do.
• 34:50
  Cathi Spooner: Give the perfect opportunity to one, see what they're saying, then parents feel validated and heard.
• 34:57
  Cathi Spooner: Like, you know, there's a part of them that says to themselves, yeah, see, now she gets to see what it's like.
• 35:04
  Cathi Spooner: Now she gets to see what I have to go through.
• 35:07
  Cathi Spooner: So it's validating for them as well as mortifying.
• 35:11
  Cathi Spooner: Um, but then you've gotten to see what's going on and you can help them apply the skills that you're teaching them, you can help them use that in those family play therapy sessions.
• 35:25
  Cathi Spooner: So, um, the only way to do that is you need to have a model that helps you navigate all those stages of change, what you're doing in the sessions, and why you're doing it.
• 35:39
  Cathi Spooner: So, that's, that's it for today.
• 35:43
  Cathi Spooner: Um, if you're, let me do a quick recap of what we talked about today.
• 35:48
  Cathi Spooner: So first really is making sure you do that thorough assessment at the beginning so that you can, um, do your case conceptualization, formulate your case, uh, case conceptualization which is where you identify what are the roots of the problem that are bringing this child in and what are the patterns going on that are sustaining this problematic behavior that they're wanting to overcome.
• 36:21
  Cathi Spooner: And that is going to influence your treatment planning because once you identify what the problem is, then you can figure out what you need to do.
• 36:33
  Cathi Spooner: Both case conceptualization and treatment planning are going to be influenced they're going to be based on and influenced by your play therapy theoretical model.
• 36:44
  Cathi Spooner: Your theory model influences how you make sense of what the problem is and why it's happening and also influences your treatment planning.
• 36:57
  Cathi Spooner: What are you going to do in the sessions?
• 37:00
  Cathi Spooner: What strategies need to be used in order to bring about the change that needs to be happening to.
• 37:09
  Cathi Spooner: And theory is good.
• 37:12
  Cathi Spooner: I, I, I'm a firm believer.
• 37:14
  Cathi Spooner: We need to be focused on using a theoretical model.
• 37:18
  Cathi Spooner: Theory without a sense of safety and therapeutic rapport is not going to get you very far.
• 37:27
  Cathi Spooner: So it's, I always say that it's like, um, like, uh, like a three legged stool.
• 37:34
  Cathi Spooner: There's, there's theory, there's rapport, and then because I'm a play therapist, how are you integrating in those therapeutic powers of play, right?
• 37:45
  Cathi Spooner: Um, So clients cannot engage in the change process if they don't feel safe.
• 37:53
  Cathi Spooner: And discomfort is not a deal breaker for using family play therapy.
• 38:01
  Cathi Spooner: You, you have to figure out who can safely be in there.
• 38:05
  Cathi Spooner: The vast majority of times you can include the family members that need to be in there.
• 38:11
  Cathi Spooner: You may need to do a little work first and on occasion in most populations and probably more generalized play therapy population, the likelihood Most people can be most family members can be in there is pretty high.
• 38:30
  Cathi Spooner: On occasion there are family members that are not able to safely be in a play therapy session.
• 38:38
  Cathi Spooner: And if I have family member children who are from divorced families I'm going to separate out one parent's home from the other parent's home.
• 38:52
  Cathi Spooner: I'm not, I mean, this, it would be the rare circumstances and there would have to be a really good reason that I would have both parents in there at the same time for children whose parents are divorced or not living together.
• 39:06
  Cathi Spooner: Because a lot of times what that'll happen is it builds up false hope that they're, they're going to get back together.
• 39:12
  Cathi Spooner: And if that's not the case, then we want to help, we want to help the family adjust to their, their, their new family way of being and their family way of being is in two different homes.
• 39:26
  Cathi Spooner: And helping those the child goes back and forth between both homes.
• 39:30
  Cathi Spooner: So one family play therapy session might be Um, with mom or one parent and the other family play therapy session may be with the other parent.
• 39:43
  Cathi Spooner: So those are some things you want to think about that way.
• 39:48
  Cathi Spooner: And then therapeutic rapport is so important.
• 39:52
  Cathi Spooner: You're going to want to build rapport with.
• 39:56
  Cathi Spooner: parents.
• 39:57
  Cathi Spooner: You want to build rapport with your client and you also want to build rapport with whoever is in that session.
• 40:05
  Cathi Spooner: That may take some time and that's the first stage of any play therapy or any therapy model is building rapport and that sense of safety in there so that you're taking that first stage of the change process to build that rapport.
• 40:24
  Cathi Spooner: And then finally, you want to have separate parent coaching sessions.
• 40:30
  Cathi Spooner: Based on the model that I use, which is attachment focused family play therapy.
• 40:36
  Cathi Spooner: The reason I built that in there is because I want to have a dedicated time to invite parents to be my partner, to be a fully, a full partner in that change process way where we have time to talk about the skills that they've learned and how are they implementing those having time to strategize with me about what we need to work on and how things are going and where they are in the change process, what progress has been made and what are maybe any barriers that come up along the way.
• 41:13
  Cathi Spooner: We.
• 41:14
  Cathi Spooner: I'm going to, in those parent coaching sessions, we're going to strategize what needs to happen in those family play therapy sessions, as well as what parents can be doing at home to make the shifts in this family system and create that sense of healing for family members.
• 41:35
  Cathi Spooner: So that is it for today.
• 41:38
  Cathi Spooner: Alrighty, I will see you next week.
• 41:40
  Cathi Spooner: Bye for now.
• 41:42
  Cathi Spooner: Thank you for joining me on this episode of Next Level Play Therapy.
• 41:47
  Cathi Spooner: I hope you found the discussion valuable and gained new insights and ideas to support your work helping children, adolescents, and families heal.
• 41:56
  Cathi Spooner: If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review.
• 42:02
  Cathi Spooner: Your feedback helps to improve and reach more people who can benefit from this information.
• 42:08
  Cathi Spooner: Remember, Play therapy is a powerful tool for healing and growth.
• 42:12
  Cathi Spooner: Whether you're a new play therapist or experienced, I encourage you to continue your learning journey to unlock the potential of play in your own work and relationships.
• 42:24
  Cathi Spooner: If you have any questions or topics, suggestions for future episodes, I'd love to hear from you.
• 42:31
  Cathi Spooner: Connect with me on social media and visit my website at Renewing Hearts Play Therapy Training to stay updated on upcoming episodes, trainings, and resources.
• 42:43
  Cathi Spooner: Thank you once again for listening to Next Level Play Therapy.
• 42:47
  Cathi Spooner: Until next time, keep playing, learning, and growing.