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How are Advanced Leadership of Self Methodology Directly Addresses Human Nature · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:00
  Kelly Hatfield: Welcome to the Missing Secret podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.
• 0:03
  John Mitchell: Hey, and I'm John Mitchell. So today our topic is how our advanced leadership of self methodology influences human nature. And Kelly, where I came up with this is I was thinking just maybe it was a couple of days ago that if you're teaching success, which is essentially I am in my class, advanced leadership of self. At at the end of the day, I'm I'm teaching success and how to create the exceptional life. You got to have a pretty good understanding of human nature, and so I've been working with AI for the last couple of days on defining sort of the principles of human nature, and I thought I'd share with our audience and with you what they are, and I'll read them one by one, and then you and I can sort of break them down. But I think I think you'll find this fascinating, and and I'll relate the the 12 minute a day methodology to that aspect of of human nature.
• 1:07
  Kelly Hatfield: Okay, sounds
• 1:08
  John Mitchell: good.
• 1:08
  Kelly Hatfield: That sounds good. Let's do
• 1:10
  John Mitchell: it. Okay, so the first one, the first you know principle of human nature is that we're driven by meaning. People will endure almost anything if they have a really strong why. Did you buy that? You understand that?
• 1:28
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, 100%. We've we've talked about this before, and and that's critical. Understanding, being driven by meaning, and knowing your why is what keeps you moving forward.
• 1:38
  John Mitchell: Right. Yeah. It's so interesting how accomplishing anything is is primarily a factor of of how strong your why is, how badly you want it, and as that relates to this methodology, in the live GPS template, you have your your mission statement, and you're reading that every day, and I just talked this to my my students, and they're now they're have their live GPS template, and they're they're reading it every day. And I see that some of their their mission statements are not as emotionally charged as I I think they should be. And I suggested to them to run their mission statement through AI and ask AI to make it more emotional, because when it when they create it, it obviously comes out of their head, but it needs to really be coming from their heart. And so, you you follow that. I mean, it's it's interesting to watch that process that it comes out unemotional, and you got to almost have have a third party intervention to make it more emotional.
• 2:49
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, absolutely. And it's funny. I mean, utilizing AI to help prompt and pull that out, I think, is a great way to go about doing it. But it reminds me of that Dean Graziosi has that why exercise that's seven layers. So keep asking why, keep asking why, and it'll eventually get you to like really the heart of the matter, which is you know the thing that's going to tie tether you to you know more closely to your why. And so I love the idea of you know creating a you know kind of shortcut to help you get into that deep place.
• 3:26
  John Mitchell: Right, right. Well, just the fact that you're reading it every day, and I encourage them to to tweak it and refine it because I've you know I've refined for you know 20 something years my mission statement, but when you're reading it every day, if there's a word in there you don't like, you need to change it, and and that continual review of your why is is powerful. So the second principle of human nature is we're wired for belonging, status, acceptance, and connection shape behavior more than most of us most of us admit. What do you think about that?
• 4:09
  Kelly Hatfield: That's interesting. I mean, I know how how important connection is. You know, I think that that's why we've seen culture shift pretty drastically because the you know because this, I think what people thought was going to happen with social media and connection. You know, we've gotten away from that those real meaningful connections and relationships. So that makes sense to me, 100%.
• 4:33
  John Mitchell: Right, right. Well, and and so how how would that relate to our methodology? Well, you know, by by properly using the methodology, you can shape your connection to to people. Like like, and this is a just a small example. But if you make it a point to say the first name of anybody you talk to, and when you actually have a conversation with with them, say. Their first name, maybe three times. It changes the dynamics of of the conversation, and so the connection changes. And and there's there's obviously deeper, way more deeper things to impact connection, like in your romantic relationship that maybe before you couldn't consistently do, but but now you do consistently do them, and I think it also like in your life GPS template, you're articulating your perception of your life, and you may be articulating how you feel accepted by the world, which is I think powerful, and you may may also be addressing your status and what what you concern or might be concerned about regarding your status. So I see how the live GPS template really impacts that sense of belonging. So, and then the the third one, and maybe this is the most important one, I would say is emotion leads and reason follows, and what that means is we decide with feelings and justify with logic afterwards. So this is pure advanced leadership itself. But so what's happening is as we're going about our life, everything we're deciding to do is first an emotional decision, and so we take the action. We make the decision to take the action, then we take the action, and then we justify the action with logic. But but it all starts with with emotion, and so I was telling my class yesterday. I said, "Think about what's going on here with your live GPS template that you're now reading. Really, for the first week, you're impacting your identity. Before you came into this class, you had an identity, but we're going way deeper on defining what that identity is, and as an example, let's say that that
• 7:07
  you see yourself as an athlete, and therefore you're you want to eat healthy and you want to exercise, say six days a week. Well, by virtue of that that identity that you're building in there, let's say you have a tough day and you get home from the office and you do not feel like exercising. Well, because you have so firmly established from reading it every day that I'm an athlete and that my identity is is working out. When that feeling comes, and you're at that that tipping point, do I exercise? Do I not? You're influencing the feelings you have before you have them, and therefore you make the right decision as opposed to the wrong decision. Does that make sense?
• 8:02
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah. No, I I absolutely think it does. And and you know, so what what is the statement again? It's it it's emotion, and then
• 8:11
  John Mitchell: emotion leads, reason follows. So so every action you're taking is is is an emotional action. It was driven by an emotion, not not your intelligence, but by emotion.
• 8:26
  Kelly Hatfield: Makes perfect sense.
• 8:27
  John Mitchell: And I see it also plays out, like in my life GPS template, and in every template, you know, I affirm that I always do what I say I'm going to do with both myself and other people, I mean that's foundational to the the methodology. And I was telling my class how when I was 30 years old, that was purely a integrity issue. But when I got to be 50, I saw it was really a success issue in that if you really embrace that idea. A couple of things happen. First of all, you watch what you say, and then anything you you say, including what you put in your your live GPS template, you by God do it. You don't look for outs. You you do it, and and I see that that impacts the feeling. So that in the same example of exercising, let's say you get get home and maybe you haven't articulated that you're an athlete, but maybe you've articulated that you always do what you say you're going to do, no exceptions. Well, in that moment of decision, where that emotional decision is is occurring by reading it every day, you go, boy, I do what I say I'm going to do. I work out six days a week. I'm right here. What am I going to do? Well, you do it because you don't want the the guilt. That feeling of guilt to come, and so the the the feeling of I want to slough it off and wimp out today is overridden by the feeling of of wanting to avoid the guilt. It is
• 10:16
  Kelly Hatfield: that makes perfect sense, and just again that tied real closely to your identity, you know. So with that moment we were like, I'm exhausted, but I'm not the type of person that doesn't keep my commitment. So maybe I'm I'm gonna stretch and do a lighter workout today, but I'm still moving because that's what I the commitment I made to my. You know what I mean? I commitment. So like, is your identity is that person who keeps their commitments? Then you're very closely tied to that. And I think that identity piece is the real, you know, you know, touchstone in that.
• 10:45
  John Mitchell: Well, and you know, I've never taught this before. This stuff about human nature, because I, I, I'm now I sort of conceptually known about it, but not to the degree I I know now. And so it's interesting to have these 50 MBAs all starting their live GPS template this week and experiencing it, and I think this stuff that I'm gonna well, I basically told them this yesterday, but I'm gonna reemphasize it tomorrow. Is is so powerful when you see that that that live GPS template is really changing who you are, so that you're becoming much stronger mentally to to do the things you say you're going to do and to to be the person you want to be. You're just moving your yourself from where where most people may be a four or five in terms of really clarity about who they are and strength to to be who they are. You're going from a four or five that most people are to nine or 10, and to me, that's the coolest part of the whole thing is is the change in you. All the all the things that come from it, all the material things that come to it, come from it. To me, pale in comparison to how it changes you. You think that's you? What do you think about that?
• 12:12
  Kelly Hatfield: Oh yeah, 100%. My experience has been the becoming. You know, part of the process. You know, and and who you're becoming as you work through this life GPS, and you do this life life. You know, you're you practice your life GPS. You know, every day you're reading that. It's interesting how you just start to like, yeah, that journey. How you just start to show up differently, and yeah, and and who you become as a result of going through this, you know, this and and including this in your life.
• 12:46
  John Mitchell: You know, it was interesting. So I I was telling you maybe off camera that I taught that this whole semester. I'm teaching the 50 MBAs this, and but it it the culmination sort of comes to this one class that happened last Wednesday, are you committing to do it for 30 days or not? You know, and their grade doesn't depend on them doing it. The the grade depends on that they understand it, but it's up to them to to do it. And so, as I'm creating the the crescendo moment, I show them that four-minute video of you. You remember doing that video at my house?
• 13:25
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, one. We did so many videos. So I know. I know. Don't know which one you're talking about, but
• 13:30
  John Mitchell: yeah, it was spectacular. You were, you know, I think we even used teleprompters on it. So it
• 13:38
  Kelly Hatfield: probably
• 13:39
  John Mitchell: and and of course you could you could not tell you were reading it, but it was that video where you say it's a crisp day in Washington, state of Washington. You remember that? Yeah, bring it back. Yeah, you were so friggin' good that that as I'm watching it, they're all watching it, and you know it's one thing for me to say it, but for you to say it with you know how polished you you come off, it was it was meaningful. I could just feel in that room. But but that's you know you were just fabulous.
• 14:13
  Kelly Hatfield: Well, thanks, suit.
• 14:15
  John Mitchell: So okay, the next one, next human nature principle. We're creatures of habit. Most of what we do runs on autopilot. So change means redesigning our autopilot, not just deciding to change. Well, that's pure advanced leadership itself.
• 14:34
  Kelly Hatfield: 100%. Yep.
• 14:35
  John Mitchell: I mean, and you know that's what is amazing to me that that still that the vast majority of people don't realize that 88 percent, according to a peer-reviewed study, of what we do is automatic and on autopilot, and that has such implications for for certainly leadership of self, but leadership of others. Yet. It is largely ignored, and and that's what encourages me so much. As I develop this academic discipline of advanced leadership itself, everybody else is missing it. Everybody else is missing it, and and AI points that out, and and it's it's cool. I'm going to have lunch with the new dean of the McCombs School of Business this week, along with the chairman of the department. And this guy just became the the dean. And you know, I told him when I first met him, which was very briefly. I said, you know, I'm teaching something nobody else in the country is teaching, and which which hopefully resonated with him because our our tagline is what starts here changes the world. So I don't know. It'll be fun to see if that resonates with him or if he's into other things or you would just see. But but that concept of human nature that most of what you're doing is not conscious and is and most significantly is not directed by your intelligence and intellect is is at the very core of advanced leadership of self and and therefore you have to retrain your autopilot so that your intelligence is directing way more of your actions. So, here's another one: we protect our self-image. We defend the story we tell about ourselves. Sometimes even against our own interest. What do you think about that?
• 16:37
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah. Well, that has to do with ego, right?
• 16:39
  John Mitchell: Right. Right.
• 16:40
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I think everybody's got a you know an ego and is is wanting to you know protect themselves to a certain degree for sure.
• 16:50
  John Mitchell: Right. Right. And then maybe the sixth one, the final one is we're shaped by what we focus on: attention and belief steer perception and effort. And I think I we talked about this a while back. How your attention is the most valuable currency there is. You know, more important than money, more important than anything. What what do you give your attention to? Because that determines what comes into your consciousness, and what comes into your consciousness determines the person you are, along with your genetics. So, so critical, and and so when you're reading your live GPS template every day, you're you're influencing what is getting your attention. You're telling your RAS, the reticular activating system, the filter for the brain. This is what's important to me. So bring more of this stuff to me. And I know you you know a lot about the raz, don't you?
• 17:51
  Kelly Hatfield: I do. That was like like that to me. Understanding that was like, oh my gosh, that makes such perfect sense. That was like my biggest light bulb moment was understanding my reticular activating system, how that works. You know, getting some real examples of it that were tangible. That I'm like, oh my gosh, I understand this now. I think one of them was, you know, looking at that FedEx symbol and you know about you know thinking about your RAS like you're thinking about a search engine in your computer. You know, and the more specific you are when you type in and are searching on things, the more the data is filtered for you. So the top results are right there for you. You know, right? You know, versus you know, if you're not being specific and you just type a word in, you know, it's going to pull up all kinds of stuff. You know, that doesn't have anything to do with what you want to know about. You know, so the same kind of thing with your reticular activating system. So for me, that was huge. And then this is just a mantra, you know, that I remind myself of. It's in my light GPS, and that's you know what you focus on expands.
• 18:56
  John Mitchell: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:58
  Kelly Hatfield: You know, period. Whatever you give your attention to, whether the energy you're putting out is negative, it gets more negative and bigger because what you get, what you give is what you get. You know, so you know, for me, it literally is. You know, what you focus on expands. So if I'm over here focused on, you know, all the stress associated with what's happening, and then I'm stressed, and I'm there's just more of more and more of that coming into my awareness because my brain is filtering all of that, you know. But when I'm real locked in and my brain, you know, I'm telling my brain exactly through my life GPS what it needs to be focused on. I mean, I told you before, I'm like that was sitting in front of me the whole time,
• 19:39
  John Mitchell: right? And I
• 19:40
  Kelly Hatfield: missed it because my brain didn't know to be looking for it. I didn't have the clarity I needed, you know, for my brain to understand what it needed to bring into my consciousness, you know. And so, anyway, that for me, I'm I'm passionate about, you know, that particular part because for me, that was the light bulb, the reticular activating, paired with under. Understanding that 95% of my, you know, thoughts and actions were unconscious. So anyway, yeah,
• 20:07
  John Mitchell: you know, I was telling my class yesterday the the statistics are that you know the idea of do people focus on their goals or do they focus on their obstacles, and and the research story indicates that approximately 65% of people focus on the obstacles. And I was telling him, I'm like, what a lousy way to live when you're focused on on the on the obstacles instead of the goal. But I said that's happening because you're wired for survival, and I said, but but that's the beauty of of what you hold in your hand. This live GPS template. If you affirm every day that I focus on the goal and not on the obstacles, guess what happens after about 30 days? That's what you do,
• 21:02
  Kelly Hatfield: yeah.
• 21:02
  John Mitchell: And it's it's so fascinating to me that you can change yourself, no matter how old you are. But this this tool allows you to literally change yourself and recreate yourself, and so pretty neat. So so maybe the last thing I wanted to show, I I sent you this this clip from Nick Saban, who a lot of people know who he is. He's the the greatest college football coach of all time. And so, Kelly, why don't you play it, and then we'll talk about it. It's a very short, quick clip, maybe under a minute, I think.
• 21:41
  Kelly Hatfield: Okay, perfect.
• 21:43
  Unknown: Goes to medical school, but everybody doesn't make it through, and some that make it through don't make good doctors. So it's the same kind of thing with athletes. You know, some of them have great talent, but they don't have the right psychological disposition. They don't have the right focus on paying attention to detail. And I think when people are process oriented, that they define this is what I want, and this is what I need to do to do it, and then they have the discipline to execute it. That's when you get a talented player who becomes a great player. Everybody's smart that goes.
• 22:16
  John Mitchell: So that to me is the epitome of advanced leadership of self, would would you agree with that?
• 22:25
  Kelly Hatfield: Oh yeah, yeah. No, that's great. It's so succinct too. It's just like, hey, here's what you you know here, boom, boom, boom. Right. That what makes a good player a great player.
• 22:35
  John Mitchell: Right. And you know, it's interesting because I see now that I'm I'm teaching these MBAs, I feel like I'm mentoring myself. Why had I and I was being honest with them yesterday? I said, you know, when I was 30 years old, I thought, you know, I am so sharp that it's just a matter of time until I'm wildly successful. How naive? Why? Why was and and you know I'm saying that to them because they all think they're sharp, but they don't get the point because nobody explained it to them. Hopefully, I'm explaining it to them. That of course you're you're smart, but that doesn't mean you're going to be hugely successful. It's it's can you translate that smart into having the psychological profile to be detailed oriented and see what's important and refine those skills and and and to be process oriented to have a system for doing life, so that you're focused on the right things, and and you know, to me that that in less than a minute explains advanced leadership of self in a way that that I've never seen it explained. So you you agree with that?
• 23:57
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, I mean, and he knows what he's doing that next does. So I'm excited to take it from him.
• 24:02
  John Mitchell: Right, right. Okay. Well, this has been fun. So we'll see you next week.