Latest / College Is Fine, Everything's Fine / #79 Your Bounce-Back Semester Starts Here: Executive Functioning 101 with Coach Krisler Bailey

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#79 Your Bounce-Back Semester Starts Here: Executive Functioning 101 with Coach Krisler Bailey · College Is Fine, Everything's Fine

College Is Fine Podcast (00:48) right, listeners, we're excited for the new year and some content that we have that we think will be helpful for you. And we are really excited about. having somebody on that has expertise working with college students and a background in executive functioning. Just in case you didn't have the semester you wanted in the fall that you can really have a plan entering into the spring semester with a new set of tools. we have Chrysler Bailey on and Chrysler I'd love for you to introduce yourself to our listeners. Let them know what you're doing, what you're all about. Krisler Bailey (01:17) Hi ladies, thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to talk with you today because yeah, students sometimes don't have the best start. yeah, I'm Chrysler Bailey. I am a college professor. teach sociology and I also teach introduction to university life currently at TCU. I've been in higher education for 24 years now, which is bananas for me to even say because I swore I wasn't gonna be a teacher. Yeah, we plan God laughs. And so, yeah, so I have a lot of experience working with young people from being their boss at the National Cheerleaders Association many, many years ago, to coaching cheer, to working with young girls who have aged out of the foster system. So I have a lot of experience with teens and young adults and Sarah (01:46) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Krisler Bailey (02:14) excited to talk with y'all today. Sarah (02:16) Okay, I'm so sorry. I know that you thought we were going to talk about some study skills, but now that you mentioned cheerleading, I have to tell you that before I wanted to be, I wanted to be two things when I grew up, either a doctor or a Memphis pom-pom girl who won the national championships every year of my life. And to this day, I get dreamy when I see them dance. So I'm already in awe. Can we change the topic? Krisler Bailey (02:30) Yeah? Hahaha Sarah (02:41) Can you help me live my fantasy out a little bit longer? Do you think I have what it takes? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think I went in the right direction. I didn't even really become a real doctor as my kids would say, but I got closer to that than dancing, which is probably a good thing. so no, we're so excited. That's a, that's an amazing range. And I am really proud of your college TCU for having a class like Krisler Bailey (02:45) Hey, you know what? Reach for the stars. College Is Fine Podcast (03:06) Yeah. Sarah (03:06) you said introductory to university life. I don't know that that's standard. And it's certainly something Liz and I feel really strongly could be useful and helpful. So not as many people have to flounder around. ⁓ But you mentioned, you're kind of on the front lines. You've seen some people struggle in that first semester. How typical would you say it is for people to struggle? Does everyone do it? Have some sort of learning curve in your experience? College Is Fine Podcast (03:17) Yeah. Krisler Bailey (03:31) Yeah, I would say everyone does have some sort of learning curve. It is very common for students to struggle. What they struggle in can certainly vary by their background, their experience. If they come from a school, a high school experience that's very rigorous academically, then maybe they don't necessarily struggle with the academic part, but they struggle more with the social part. Or they struggle with College Is Fine Podcast (03:53) Mm-hmm. Krisler Bailey (03:56) maybe how to engage on campus. You know, if they've never really had to have help from a teacher in the past, then going to office hours is something that they don't really know how to navigate. So I think there is something that everybody maybe struggles with. And the depth of that struggle is different. You know, some students, they sort of lose their footing at the beginning of the semester and they get lost and they're not sure what to do. but by a few weeks in they feel more comfortable and some students it takes them a whole semester or maybe a whole year before they feel like okay I've got this I can do this. Sarah (04:36) Yeah. No, think it's nice to have you say that there's, there's buckets because maybe if you're struggling academically and your roommate isn't, you might not realize that that person is struggling socially or in some other way that you aren't. And so I think it's easy to kind of see other, other people, like kind of where we're struggling the most and compare ourselves to that person, but that you're saying like, there's usually some sort of bucket that they can take, take a quick look at. And as we go into the new year, Krisler Bailey (04:50) Mm-hmm. Sarah (05:02) That's what we're all about. OK, so I guess our first question, because we're going to have this discussion around new semester. It's coming out around the new year. Do you believe in New Year's resolutions? Krisler Bailey (05:13) Not really. College Is Fine Podcast (05:14) You Krisler Bailey (05:16) I know, I think that people have the best of intentions when they create a resolution. But you know, there are so many folks that by the second week of the year, they've already sort of fallen off the wagon or, you know, by the end of the month, they have stopped going to the gym or they, you know, haven't done whatever it is. And it's really, really difficult, especially for people who are all or nothing people, to stay with it. And I find that with students, they tend to be all or nothing in the area of motivation. They think, well, if I'm not motivated or how, they always ask, how do I get motivated? And I have to remind them that it's not necessarily about the motivation. It's about building discipline and building smart habits. College Is Fine Podcast (05:44) Mm-hmm. Sarah (05:46) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm Krisler Bailey (06:08) So I tell my students at the beginning of the semester and my clients that discipline wins. Motivation wanes. Discipline wins. And so it's really about figuring out how to build those habits and to become a disciplined person so that even when you don't feel like it, because I'm sure you would say, I don't feel like grading or I don't feel like scrubbing toilets, but you know what? I'm going to scrub the toilet. because I know it's something that is needed for my household, right? So there's so many things that we don't feel like, yeah, I mean, you know, a good clean toilet is awesome, but there's things that we don't feel like doing, but we do them anyway because we've become disciplined in those areas. Sarah (06:38) I love scrubbing a toilet. College Is Fine Podcast (06:40) You Sarah (06:51) Yeah. Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (06:52) Okay, so I think before we get into, I love this concept of, know, Sarah and I are always talking about this, the amount of referrals I get for low motivation and thinking that I have this like magical cure to help people become more motivated, which I don't, side note, but I'm hoping that we can cultivate like a mindset that helps students feel more optimistic. about their ability to bounce back, both hopefully concretely, what are certain skills that you can kind of and habits to put in place that might help you get back. But let's say you're a student and you're feeling really pessimistic and you feel like there's no way that I can kind of get myself out from this bad place I'm in after the fall semester. Can you share a story that might be able to give them some hope or like what would you say to a really hopeless college student? knowing, and I think Sarah and I know this, that leaves of absences as you accumulate them in college really decrease the likelihood that you'll complete your degree. thoughts about that, how to kind of induce hope before we present a plan. Krisler Bailey (07:53) A big part of it, I think, is your community. If you are trying to do college alone, you're going to struggle a lot. So white-knuckling it through, going alone, picking yourself up by your bootstraps, it just... College Is Fine Podcast (08:10) Right. Krisler Bailey (08:10) is not gonna work well for you. So using your community, meaning your friends, your family, outside help like coaches, therapists, a lot of colleges offer these services. It's included in your tuition, right? We say it's free, it ain't free. Somebody's paying for it. It's included in your tuition, so use the resources. Some universities will have peer-counseling Sarah (08:29) Yep. College Is Fine Podcast (08:29) You Krisler Bailey (08:36) coaches, some will have professional coaches, there's writing centers, there's tutors, your professors. You cannot go through life trying to white-knuckle it and do it alone. You have to identify who is in your community that is available to help, what their expertise is, and then utilize that to your advantage. Sarah (08:58) Yeah, I love the idea of community. And Liz and I are big proponents of the fact that, yes, we're therapists, but there's so many people in your world who can play a really helpful mentor or therapeutic role. And certainly, we've talked a lot about some intimidation around professors. For instance, you mentioned office hours. We did an episode where we talked about office hours 101. What do you expect? What are some of the fears that people have and how can we get rid of those? And I also am curious to see the students who you find are able to bounce back. What kind of community they have in terms of other friends or the students that they spend time with. Krisler Bailey (09:37) Yeah, so there are lots of different ones. And I think it's when they find groups that they have in common first, where it could be their first generation students. So they find other first generation students or maybe people in their major where you have these similar classes that are sort of these weed out classes where it seems like everybody is just struggling and drowning. College Is Fine Podcast (09:47) Mm-hmm. Right. Krisler Bailey (10:04) ⁓ In my introduction to University Life class this semester, there were three young ladies who were pre-interior design majors. And they all had to go through this entire semester learning all of these brand new ways to draw and sketch and, you know, do all these very intricate things. And because they were all in our class together, they met each other, they knew each other's names, and they knew the content that they were working through and the projects they had to do. And every class, you know, they talked about it. And it was really cool to watch them sort of grow together in this bond. And I'm so proud of them because all three were accepted into the interior design degree program. So they're all going to be moving forward together. But it was this journey that I got to see them walk through and to hear them talk about in their end of semester presentations about all of that. So College Is Fine Podcast (10:44) Mm-hmm. Sarah (10:54) I love that. Krisler Bailey (11:03) When you have people in these similar majors where they're sort of dealing with all these same struggles, find those people. Greek life can be another place that people can build community. Sports, if you play a sport at your university, or maybe you were in a sport before but you're not playing officially for the university, maybe if there's an intramural group or club that you can connect with. think finding those commonalities. And then once you do, expand from there. Find people who are different than you. Maybe they don't celebrate the same holidays, or they aren't of the same religion, or maybe they come from a different family background. Those people, you can find them very easily in your classes. Sarah (11:46) Yeah, that's great. College Is Fine Podcast (11:48) Yeah, I mean, think it sounds like casting a wide net to, you know, I always say like behaviors contagious and that, you know, part of maybe becoming more hopeful or optimistic or even developing good habits that might help you bounce back from the last semester is to kind of evaluate who is in my matrix or my social circle. And maybe I need to kind of expand a little bit to find, find different people that might expose me to new ideas or different habits. Sarah (12:16) Yeah, I was thinking, if you don't mind me jumping in, because a lot of times, and this isn't just for people in college, this is high school, my peers, young adults, and of course in college too, they'll sort of be disappointed maybe in their friend group for some reason or another. And I keep on thinking to myself, there's different ways for us to have really true friends. And some people might be a group that really kind of scratches that adventure itch. And other people might be. the ones you can be vulnerable with who you can say, I'm really struggling in this class. And it doesn't have to be necessarily somebody in your closest friend group. You know, you can have some, some friends who are kind of to your point, like in your major and get close that way. And then you can also shift and then say, all right, but I don't have to give one up to have the other. So that if you're not finding that in your immediate group, it doesn't mean you're in the wrong friend group. You know, not all friends can be all things to all people. So you might have to. Yeah. Cast a wider net, look around your classroom, see who might be that good sort of, like buddy in that situation of like a study buddy or is, people still stay study buddy? What word do we use for this now? I don't think people said study buddy when we were growing up. I think that's like for, that's for like sixth graders. So help me cool it up a little bit guys. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Six, seven. Okay. Next. College Is Fine Podcast (13:23) No. Krisler Bailey (13:24) you College Is Fine Podcast (13:28) I don't know. mean, they do do like some body doubling stuff. not to, Krisler Bailey (13:30) Yeah, I don't know. gosh. College Is Fine Podcast (13:37) that's, that's what my second grader is doing. Okay. Sarah (13:39) I know, told my kids when they were, cause they're teenagers, I told them, they were like, when is that going to go away? I was like, it's already on the way out. Cause like I, I say it as a joke, you know? So was like, it's already, don't worry. It's, it's, it's on its way out. College Is Fine Podcast (13:46) Yeah, right, right, Okay, we've said the word habits, study habits, but I think like we really need to dive in. know, Chrystal, you have area of expertise in executive functioning. So let's talk about a bounce back plan. Let's say that somebody really struggled academically where, and probably socially to a certain extent too. I always say like your job when you go to college is to be a student. I know that might not be the thing that in your front of your vision, but to stay there, you have to perform to a certain level. What would you say are some of the ingredients, whether it's certain study habits, certain time management skills, what would you suggest maybe for students to look at first? Krisler Bailey (14:27) I think it starts with what was the thing that you struggled with the most? I find that students struggle a lot with unstructured time. And so they're like, I have all this time during my day. What am I supposed to do? And I have all these hours to study. And so figuring out how to deal with that unstructured time. Now that could be with time blocking, for example. if they have classes on Monday from nine to 10 and then 12 to one and then three to five, well, that leaves a lot of gaps in the day. So they may not be used to what do I do with my time? And so now they're like, when do I eat? Because I have class at 12 and that's lunchtime. blocking out time to actually walk to the cafeteria or whatever. But that also means you have to decide where you're going to eat. There might be multiple eateries on campus. If you're going to go from class to eatery or if you're going to be in your dorm. So you actually have to look at your day and say, okay, if I have class at nine and it ends around 10, I can College Is Fine Podcast (15:23) Mm-hmm. Krisler Bailey (15:45) spend an hour in the library, sort of, you know, chewing on that and reviewing that information. And then I can spend the next hour walking to the cafeteria, getting my food, taking a brain break, and then going to my next class that's at noon. And if I get out at one, then what am I going to do between one o'clock and three o'clock? What's the best use of my time right now? It maybe is. reviewing for the class that you just got out of, having a snack, taking a brain break and walking around campus. So it's how are you going to actually break down your day so that you get done what you need to get done and you're not staying up every night until 2 a.m. ⁓ You do actually get to hang out with your friends, know, balancing your day where you're able to study and enjoy the College Is Fine Podcast (16:14) Right, right. Mm-hmm. right. Krisler Bailey (16:40) time right you don't just go to I mean yes you go to college for academics but let's be realistic like you go for fun too so those those two things don't have to be separated. College Is Fine Podcast (16:43) Yes. Sarah (16:45) Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I think that, you said something where it's like, you get to go and hang out with your friends and actually enjoy it. Cause I think I certainly remember the feeling I can still have it where I'm doing something social or just hanging out with friends. And all I can think about is something I have to do that I probably could have gotten done or maybe shouldn't have gone to the hang out with my friends if I was going to get it done in time. So that's that idea of like, actually to have that weight off your shoulders feels so good. Yeah. And I think that kind of long swath of time can feel overwhelming at times. It's like freedom, but then there's too much of it. So one thing I'm curious about just as somebody who has struggled a little bit with executive functioning myself, like a little bit of an attentive ADHD going on. And I don't naturally have maybe the, it's probably a little harder for some students to build those skills. And even if they know exactly what to do by the book, Do you find that there's some, you know, a hack or something, a way to help get that system going if you really struggle with keeping that sort of discipline? Krisler Bailey (17:52) Eliminating distractions is a huge one. And I have a client who spends a lot of time on their phone and they will tell you, like, I spend a lot of time on my phone, it's hours and hours and hours. Sarah (17:54) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (17:54) Mm-hmm. ⁓ Krisler Bailey (18:09) And what I have come to learn about this young man is that the time use is more of a safety, the phone, the physical phone is more of a safety, right? You see a lot of people walking around with their phones in their hands. They're not doing anything on their phone. They just have it in their hand, right? Or students in classrooms where they are, they just have their phone out on their desk. It's become their emotional safety device. Sarah (18:20) Mm. Mm-hmm. College Is Fine Podcast (18:36) Mm-hmm. Krisler Bailey (18:36) device, right? So it's what is that distraction, distraction free for you? What is the biggest thing? Start there and not get rid of it. Because, you know, for a lot of people that makes them feel unsafe. They don't know how to navigate that. Sarah (18:42) Mm-hmm. College Is Fine Podcast (18:43) Right. Sarah (18:50) Mm-hmm. College Is Fine Podcast (18:52) Mm-hmm. Krisler Bailey (18:53) But what can you do? Can you turn your phone on, do not disturb for 15 minutes or at a certain time? One of the students in my classes got a suggestion from another, from one of her sorority sisters to give the passcode to your roommate. So if you or somebody maybe you're studying with, so it's like I have to, spend you know all this time watching Reels on Instagram and my 30 minutes is up well I don't have the passcode to it so then I have to go beg somebody for the passcode and that that's not fun right right so what small thing can you do College Is Fine Podcast (19:20) Mm-hmm Sarah (19:29) Shame, shame. Krisler Bailey (19:37) that's going to help you with that distraction. I think a lot of what people struggle with is distraction. And I'm right there with you. mean, between the jobs that I have, the children, like it just, there's just so many things. So many times I will have to put my phone in a whole nother room. That helps me become more productive. College Is Fine Podcast (19:48) Mm-hmm. Sarah (19:58) Yeah. There's a study out there, right? That says if you have your phone in your vision, you're distracted even more. So even if you're not looking at it. and I'm like, I know what I mean. It's like in the periphery, like a magnet, it kind of just pulls your attention away. Have you seen those tags that you can have now, or you can kind of just tap your phone to it and have all these automations? College Is Fine Podcast (19:58) Right. Have you guys? Looking at it, yeah. Krisler Bailey (20:06) Mm-hmm. College Is Fine Podcast (20:16) Yes, I was just going to tell you, have you heard about that? My patient, her sorority has this. It's called the brick. Do you guys know what this is? And I know. mean, this is what this is. This is like what Greek life is paying for. Right. But. Sarah (20:23) Yeah, well that's an expensive one, but you can do inexpensive ones. ⁓ Apparently you can Krisler Bailey (20:24) Mm-mm. Sarah (20:30) use a hotel card key. I've been, yeah, so you don't have to get the brick, but if you want to spend 40 bucks, it does work. This is sponsored by brick. This podcast episode should be sponsored by brick. Just putting it out there. College Is Fine Podcast (20:32) Yeah, but anyway, yes. Yeah, it's essentially like a way I, no, it's not sponsored by her. Krisler Bailey (20:39) Ha! Should be. College Is Fine Podcast (20:45) Okay, so just to summarize, aside, is that it seems like first step, like accurate reflection of really looking back at the past semester and identifying what went wrong, right? ⁓ Yes, what was the hardest thing? And then we talked about, which I do believe it is part of the equation for a lot of college students is this idea of time management. And can you really... Sarah (20:57) Right, what was the hardest thing? I like pinpointing like just one thing, the hardest. College Is Fine Podcast (21:10) and it seems like in a nuanced specific way, go through your schedule for the spring and map it out a little bit better about like, what are you actually doing hour by hour? know, something I like to say to college students, I'm like, if you really were just a student, like a job from nine to five, and were productive during those hours, you would have so much free time on your hands. You actually have a lot, at least around here, you have so much more free time in college than you do in high school, where I am. So I love all those time management tips, reducing distractions. Maybe we could just talk a little bit to kind of end the episode in terms of bouncing back around study skills, which again, I don't think they're really well taught in high school. know, I think I love thing a lot and particularly around particularly writing assignments that tend to be a large amount of, in my experience, college assignments. So. Sarah (21:50) Right, it's so vague. College Is Fine Podcast (21:58) Any studies, like, okay, now you've evaluated, okay, maybe I don't know how to study or prepare for examinations or assignments, any things, any tips you might have for college students that are looking to enhance their study skills. Krisler Bailey (22:10) Yeah, rereading your notes is not the thing. It's not the way. So that's just flat out. You're not doing a whole lot for yourself if you're just reading things over and over again. College Is Fine Podcast (22:19) Right. Krisler Bailey (22:21) So one thing I would say is how are you engaging with the material? That could be writing out summaries of the information. That could be writing questions. if you have notes, like if your professor already provides notes, maybe they provide a PowerPoint or an outline, go based on what they've given you, write the question. Also test yourself. So, you know, you can do this in groups too. Once you find those buddies in class, you go through the unit or the module or whatever, and you all write questions over the whole thing. Like, don't assign it a chapter per person, because that only gives you that interaction for that chapter. But each one of you do all four chapters, and maybe you assign five questions or 10 questions per College Is Fine Podcast (22:51) Mm-hmm. Right. Right. Krisler Bailey (23:14) chapter and then you test each other. So now you're getting different perspectives on the material but you're also engaging with the material differently than you would if you're just again reading through the notes. Sarah (23:27) Mm-hmm. Krisler Bailey (23:28) Don't do that. Highlighting. I would say that's a that's a negative in my book too. A lot of students tend to highlight everything. ⁓ So then what what does that actually do for you? Nothing, right? So so yeah. And you know, there's there's classes that students assume are going to be easy. My class is one of those. I teach you Sarah (23:36) Yeah. Krisler Bailey (23:51) I teach introduction to sociology or social problems and Except for this semester coming up. I get to teach the golden girl the life lessons from the golden girls perspective. It's awesome Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's gonna be amazing But with intro to sociology students come in and they think I've got this I know it's you know social interaction I know how to do it and so they are already assuming it's gonna be easy so I think even College Is Fine Podcast (24:00) Bye. Sarah (24:00) my God, my God, my God, can I take your class? Krisler Bailey (24:18) just when you go into a class, don't make assumptions. Like go in thinking, I'm gonna learn something for this class, I'm gonna do my best to engage with the material, it may be hard, it may be easy, but just go in ready to learn. College Is Fine Podcast (24:22) Mm-hmm. Krisler Bailey (24:34) And I think that even, just starting out with that sort of mindset can help students sort of prepare themselves to engage and be ready to learn. Sarah (24:43) I love that and I'm just reflecting back on how much I wish I had met you and had your advice or your class before, because I probably wouldn't have struggled so much in my intro to jazz class that I thought was going to be easy, but it turns out damn. ⁓ College Is Fine Podcast (24:53) Mm-hmm. It is always those classes, I find, that are not even within your major. It might be a core requirement. And I think a lot of people are like, I'm just going to phone this in, this anthropology class. ⁓ But also, in terms of happiness, I do think the more engaged you are in the material, aside from academic success, it's a whole semester. You have to find a way to. Sarah (25:08) Mm-hmm. Krisler Bailey (25:18) you College Is Fine Podcast (25:19) maybe enjoy the process. But I like that, the mindset kind of going into it. And I really, really loved all your tips about engaging with the material. I think that is a real difference that it's hard for students to recall material because they're just kind of reviewing notes ⁓ as opposed to really like encoding things in their memory and learning. Krisler Bailey (25:34) Mm-hmm. Sarah (25:38) It makes you feel like you're doing something to highlight, but it's almost like, you know, how many times have I read a paragraph and I get to the end, I'm like, I don't even know what I read. Like my eyes scanned over it, but well, if people, cause I know what's going to happen is people are going to want to hear more about some of these tips that you give. there a place for them to find you? We'll certainly put your, your website up on our show notes, but are there ways for them to find you and get more of this? Krisler Bailey (25:46) Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (25:46) Right. Right. Krisler Bailey (26:00) Yeah, I am on Instagram. I post a lot of short videos on how to's, reminders. At this point in the semester, you're probably thinking, you know, how do I do this or whatever? So I do a lot of that. Certainly they can connect with me through my website as well and find out more information about me. If people are on YouTube, I post a lot of YouTube videos and conversations that I've had with other professionals because I believe that everybody can learn something from you know these different areas whether it's a psychologist that maybe works with college-age students or a therapist or you know whatever so yeah Sarah (26:44) I love it. And then when in doubt, just say, what would Betty White do? Am I right? Krisler Bailey (26:48) Yeah, exactly. College Is Fine Podcast (26:49) This was amazing. Thank you so much, Chrysler. Krisler Bailey (26:52) Yeah, I had a great time. Thank you all for having me.