Latest / Man In Your Corner with Shaun Tucker / What You Focus On Grows | Ep. 135
Transcript
- Shaun: Welcome back to the reset. I am Sean Tucker, human performance scientist and authority architect. We are here right now in the Living Lab documenting the struggle, the science, and the shift for every high performance dad and founder who is ready to bridge the gap between their ambition and their presence. Today I'm going to get into the topic of what you focus on grows. Very simply because when you actually have the ability to focus down what it is you really care for. You can ultimately very quickly amplify your results as well as just feel better about what you do in the world anyway. Are we ready to get in? Let's do it. This is a quote, I think I was sitting down with my friend, another man who runs a not-for-profit men's health promotion charity. So we were talking about this idea of when he was going. for his motorbike license. He would essentially hit the cone at every every moment he had to go through. So they had to sort of swerve in between the cones and had to demonstrate that he could handle it properly. And the instructor, which is probably not what they're allowed to do or meant to do, went over to this guy and said, Hey, you're actually focusing on not hitting the cones. But When we actually look at the language of what he said, you're focusing on not hitting the cones. Let's remove the word not. You're focusing on hitting the cones. And guess what happens? The brain doesn't take that little nuanced word not. It actually just focuses on what you hit. And look, this is exactly what happened. Focused on the cones and that's exactly what he hit. And it kept growing as well. So he would grow in frustration because he was trying to go in between, but he was focusing on hitting the cones. And actually he was focusing on not hitting the cones. I must make that very clear. But that word in between, that space in between, is where he should have been focusing on. Not not the destination, if that makes sense. It's really interesting when we look at language because I mean the the language of the eyes, the language of the body came long before we could talk. Yeah. Through evolution, we were able to come up with complex language processing. And you just look at to relate this to, I guess, artificial intelligence is if you're not really strict on the boundaries at which or the context of which you provide, it will give you answers that just don't make any sense to what you want. Similarly, if you give the brain something to not focus on, it will focus on that thing exactly. And it will keep on pissing you off. It will keep on making you angry because look If I have this space between my my mug and my phone, right? If I focus on not hitting either one of these two objects, I'm just going to keep on banging my head against the mug or the phone. And what he said, what the instructor for the motorbike license actually said to my friend, he said, You're focusing on this, so let's change the the focus point. Let's change the focus point here. He said, just focus on the space between. And guess what? He passed his motorbike license like that. It changed everything. Literally by the focus point. Literally by the focal point. That was the only thing that was changed. He clearly demonstrated that he had the skill. But because he was so caught up on not hitting the cones, all he was doing was hitting the cones. And I reflect that. Back to when I used to play ⁓ a little bit of football back in primary school, all the way back then. I remember I was trying to aim for the goal and I saw the goalpost and I'd kick it every single time. Not every single time, but about 80% of the time I would have hit the goal post, which counts as only one point, not six points, right? This is this is the funny thing. So how does this apply to your life? If we are so focused on the destination, well, we don't just hit the destination. Because we have to remember that all of those things that lead to the destination, they actually become our focal points. So if we are, let's say, not good enough, or we think we are not good enough, or we're not deserving enough, we'll keep on hitting that point. So if we're setting goals that we don't believe we deserve, we're never gonna achieve our goals. It doesn't matter how ambitious you are, you have to meet yourself with that presence, with that being present, because that's where your body's at. That's where your that's where your conditioning lies. And you can't change anything until it changes. And that is both ⁓ something that will hold you back and something that will liberate you. So what you focus on grows. If you focus on a lack, if you focus on not enough, undeserving, remember these are subconscious patterns. These are those deep behavior patterns that come before the language processing, the ability to talk, the ability to actually write, the ability to communicate using complex language. If you get down to the real key simple terms, we are survival species. We are most likely still coming from that place of survival unless you've learned to bypass it. And what I mean by bypassing is break through it, not actually skipping steps. You need to go step by step. unless you have the ability to see that you are not your memories, you're not your body, you're not my your mind, then you can take more steps at once. Until then you have to take it step by step. So what you focus on grows. Focus on the abundance or focus on the small amount of growth steps. So I am on a winning streak. Those little bites of winds, those small little stacked steps of winning, that's what will grow if you let it. Whereas if you keep on focusing on the what's not working, what's not working will grow. It'll continue to grow. So let's stop using language that keeps us stuck and start using language that keeps us open and winning all the time, consistently. I believe in you. We can do this together. If you found this helpful, I want you to share it with one person. And that brings us to the end of the reset. If you want to stop being a passenger in your life and start being the architect of your legacy, make sure you comment the word reset and I will send you the seven day integrity reset. Because integrity, remember, it's those actions, words, and path, direction, everything in that one. Focal point, it's where you're headed. Let's make it happen. Remember that most people wait for their life to change. We are the ones who architect our choice. Change your state, choose how you show up. I am Sean Tucker. I will see you in the next one.