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Who Hates Talking · I Hate Talking

• 0:29
  I Hate Talking: All right, welcome to episode one of I Hate Talking.
• 0:35
  I Hate Talking: Hi everyone.
• 0:37
  I Hate Talking: And uh we're just gonna go through a little bit about what we're hoping to cover on our show and then uh jump into our topic of the evening.
• 0:48
  I Hate Talking: Sounds great.
• 0:50
  I Hate Talking: So, uh, on I Hate Talking, we're going to be talking about etymology.
• 0:55
  I Hate Talking: We're going to be talking about perhaps some topics that uh frustrate people in their everyday lives.
• 1:02
  I Hate Talking: We're going to be talking about current events and just random topics in general.
• 1:07
  I Hate Talking: So as you can may have heard, we use the word that maybe some people are not familiar with, and that is the word etymology.
• 1:17
  I Hate Talking: Would you care to explain maybe what you think the word etymology means?
• 1:20
  I Hate Talking: I don't know that word.
• 1:23
  I Hate Talking: Well, then it's a very apt word because etymology is the study of words and their origin and the evolution of their use over time.
• 1:33
  I Hate Talking: Thank you.
• 1:35
  I Hate Talking: So, that's one of the things that uh we're going to be incorporating into our show is either a word or phrase of every show.
• 1:44
  I Hate Talking: And we've already arrived at the word or phrase of the show for today's episode, the word etymology.
• 1:50
  I Hate Talking: I'm learning so much already.
• 1:53
  I Hate Talking: Excellent.
• 1:54
  I Hate Talking: Well, that's what we want everyone to do.
• 1:56
  I Hate Talking: So, we are going to take the very 1st 5 episodes and expand on the topics and scope of our podcast and we're going to use the who, what, where, when and why methodology.
• 2:11
  I Hate Talking: So tonight's episode is gonna be focused on who, who hates talking.
• 2:18
  I Hate Talking: So, My co-host apparently hates talking, which is a surprise because usually I am the one that hates talking and she is the one that enjoys talking.
• 2:35
  I Hate Talking: That's true Oh no.
• 2:39
  I Hate Talking: So, OK, go on.
• 2:43
  I Hate Talking: So, I have two ideas on particular people or groups of people that hate talking.
• 2:51
  I Hate Talking: The very first one would be introverts.
• 2:54
  I Hate Talking: What are your thoughts on introverts?
• 2:56
  I Hate Talking: Well, my initial thoughts on introverts would be just what they are.
• 3:01
  I Hate Talking: Like, by definition, I feel like an introvert is somebody who receives energy being alone.
• 3:09
  I Hate Talking: An extrovert, on the other hand, would receive energy being around people and social interactions, and so an introvert, By that definition, their energy would be expended when they're in social situations, and they would get their energy by being alone, maybe maybe by reading or driving by themselves, or just in silence.
• 3:34
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, I think that's definitely a uh apt description of introverts and extroverts and I think part of the reason that introverts perhaps don't like talking is uh actually more of a control issue um where maybe they feel that uh others are controlling the conversation or controlling the narrative and when introverts don't have control of the situation or know what's expected, uh, that causes that.
• 4:04
  I Hate Talking: Energy to be expended.
• 4:07
  I Hate Talking: Is the control an issue because they are concerned about how they appear or what's gonna happen if other people are speaking?
• 4:17
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, I think that's probably part of it is that uh the perception and how others view that person in those social interactions is in the forefront of their mind.
• 4:30
  I Hate Talking: I think a lot of introverts are also going to be associated with uh highly sensitive or highly aware of their surroundings and therefore they may have a higher degree of sensitivity to the perception of others.
• 4:47
  I Hate Talking: Uh, when they're in those social situations.
• 4:49
  I Hate Talking: That makes sense.
• 4:51
  I Hate Talking: I remember hearing the stats, I don't quite remember exactly, but it's something like maybe 20 or 30% of highly sensitive people.
• 5:01
  I Hate Talking: are extroverts and the rest would be classified as introverts.
• 5:06
  I Hate Talking: Um, I do not classify myself as a highly sensitive person or An introvert.
• 5:15
  I Hate Talking: So, I think, as you're explaining, being aware of your surroundings, being aware of what other people are saying and doing is not a gift I have.
• 5:26
  I Hate Talking: Often it kind of will flow off my back, and I'll say, whoops, I made a mistake and I move on with my life.
• 5:33
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, and I think that's also part of the reason that introverts may not enjoy talking or at least have the perception of hating to talk to people.
• 5:44
  I Hate Talking: Uh, it's not that they actually just enjoy talking to people, it's just that they don't know necessarily what's expected of them or what the conversation might bring.
• 5:56
  I Hate Talking: In regards to how people perceive them or even if they will be prepared to have a conversation or to be able to answer certain questions or actually have a successful interaction with the person that they're talking to.
• 6:10
  I Hate Talking: So in your opinion, is it, they're thinking long term, what this other individual will think of them, or is it in the immediate, I do not have an answer that satisfies myself?
• 6:22
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, I think it could be a bit of both.
• 6:25
  I Hate Talking: Um, so in the, uh, I think in the modern day and age, right, there's a focus on open work environments and the uh pressure to have More people talk to one another, uh, but I think those certain environments can actually be stressful for people that uh fall within this category and um it actually Produces more stress and less productivity because uh they are concerned about how they will be perceived and how these interactions will go, rather than having a safe spot that they can actually retreat to and do their work and then uh control the interactions that they have with people on an ongoing basis through having set meeting areas and set meeting times as well as set agendas and understanding of what is going to be discussed.
• 7:20
  I Hate Talking: So hearing you talk, I'm feeling like I can see a lot of positives as well as negatives in that.
• 7:28
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, so there are a lot of positives.
• 7:30
  I Hate Talking: uh, there also can be some negatives, uh, but I think some of those negatives are maybe again perceived negatives.
• 7:38
  I Hate Talking: They may not be negatives intrinsically of themselves because uh the introverts or the highly sensitive or these people that seek out this quiet time to be able to be able to perform their job function or produce art or do things that they are passionate about.
• 7:58
  I Hate Talking: Um, may be perceived by others as being disconnected or not part of the, the larger group.
• 8:07
  I Hate Talking: However, they can still be able to provide a lot of positive impact and uh things that they can produce that are impactful to.
• 8:16
  I Hate Talking: The society in general, uh, whereas maybe some of these concepts in terms of forced conversation, uh, actually have a negative impact on that productivity and passion.
• 8:30
  I Hate Talking: It's making me think as I was hearing you talk that As you would consider yourself a highly sensitive person, that's an introvert.
• 8:41
  I Hate Talking: And I would be the opposite in both of those.
• 8:45
  I Hate Talking: When we talked about this podcast, and it came up, I would have instinctively just turned on my iPhone and started talking, and then posted it, and then like, there, we're done.
• 8:58
  I Hate Talking: And then let's do this again next week.
• 9:00
  I Hate Talking: That was fun.
• 9:01
  I Hate Talking: Where you went and did a lot of, you did some research.
• 9:06
  I Hate Talking: figured out what equipment is a good idea.
• 9:10
  I Hate Talking: And as the beginning of this podcast shows, you actually had a thought process at starting when I was like, I don't know, we're gonna just, we'll just talk, right?
• 9:19
  I Hate Talking: And it'll work out.
• 9:20
  I Hate Talking: So I can see that you're saying the benefits of taking your time.
• 9:26
  I Hate Talking: And being very thoughtful in these conversations.
• 9:29
  I Hate Talking: Where My instinct would have just been to do this 2 months ago and figured it out as we went along.
• 9:38
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, that's true.
• 9:40
  I Hate Talking: I think that's how I approach most of things in my life is uh having a plan, uh, being prepared, having a structure behind the things that I'm going to do, uh, planning for contingencies, so understanding what potential outcomes may be out there and planning accordingly for how to adjust and overcome different uh contingencies that may present themselves, um, and actually, you know, not necessarily having A particular Urgency in terms of.
• 10:14
  I Hate Talking: Understanding and planning for those things unless there are certain deadlines, um, but we've actually been talking about this since, uh, January and uh now we are in April, so it has been uh quite a while that we've been thinking about this and planning this and also just the busyness of life that we've uh been dealing with other things that have maybe precluded us from starting on these projects, but uh we are here now.
• 10:42
  I Hate Talking: So, I have another bold statement uh that not only introverts hate talking but that everyone hates talking.
• 10:53
  I Hate Talking: Oh, OK.
• 10:55
  I Hate Talking: So tell me about that.
• 10:57
  I Hate Talking: So I think even extroverts, right, as we've categorized them as maybe gaining energy or enjoying the presence of others and enjoying conversation uh versus the introverts that we've been talking about and you know, potentially that having a lot of overlap with the highly sensitive uh in terms of maybe those that seek out quiet spots and uh have their own method of producing and being passionate about things that they enjoy.
• 11:25
  I Hate Talking: That when it comes down to.
• 11:28
  I Hate Talking: Everyone That there are certain topics that people hate talking about and that when you get into some of those topics that everyone will hate talking.
• 11:42
  I Hate Talking: Are those topics universal, or is it certain people will hate certain topics with certain individuals?
• 11:51
  I Hate Talking: So I think that uh culturally, um, you know, given that we're in the Western civilization that there will be certain topics that are going to be avoided, not necessarily uh because people dislike talking about them, but because again, people are concerned with their perception and what people think about them, uh, right, typically you're going to think of religion or politics as being something that It's not necessarily gonna be something that you talk about immediately with somebody that you don't know.
• 12:23
  I Hate Talking: You're going to have to have trust established, uh, especially within uh the workplace or within uh certain political conversations that uh you don't want to uh make yourself too vulnerable to these people on those certain topics.
• 12:39
  I Hate Talking: And that may be universal, um, hard to say necessarily in terms of those things being.
• 12:45
  I Hate Talking: Completely, uh, perhaps.
• 12:48
  I Hate Talking: Disregarded in terms of conversations that you can have right off the bat, but I think that is a, some things that we'll get into in future episodes in terms of what people hate talking about, uh, but I certainly think that there are some universal concepts and then perhaps based on the individual, there also are some things that perhaps are avoided uh or hated even.
• 13:13
  I Hate Talking: Is it, in your opinion, then good to have things you hate talking about?
• 13:19
  I Hate Talking: Or should everything be fair game?
• 13:23
  I Hate Talking: So I think that is part of something that we want to address during this show is.
• 13:30
  I Hate Talking: Being able to talk and have a discussion and be able to understand things from other people's point of view and understand their perspective, uh, as perhaps uh often quoted author would say, uh, walk a mile in their shoes and uh understand what they are going through.
• 13:52
  I Hate Talking: I think that having those conversations is important, um, but with some of these topics that are maybe either disliked by certain people or even have a degree of uh vulnerability to them that we must approach them carefully and make sure that we are discussing them appropriately.
• 14:14
  I Hate Talking: So what's something that you can think of that you hate talking about?
• 14:19
  I Hate Talking: I hate talking about would be Um We talked about this at dinner, at our family dinner with our kids tonight, that I hate lying.
• 14:32
  I Hate Talking: I hate people that aren't that are dishonest.
• 14:35
  I Hate Talking: Or if I know they've been dishonest in the past, I don't like talking to them because I don't trust them.
• 14:42
  I Hate Talking: And I'm constantly wondering if I can trust them.
• 14:45
  I Hate Talking: So I think the thing I would hate isn't necessarily A topic, but it's talking to people that I do not think are honest.
• 14:55
  I Hate Talking: That's a very nuanced observation.
• 14:58
  I Hate Talking: I think that uh not only are there certain categories of people that maybe are associated with introvert or extrovert or highly sensitive or not highly sensitive.
• 15:09
  I Hate Talking: Uh, as well as the topics that we may or may not like talking about, but there's also the why of why we hate talking and some of that may be previous broken trust or previous dishonesty that uh we don't like talking or even to put it bluntly, we hate talking to these people because of those past experiences.
• 15:31
  I Hate Talking: I think so.
• 15:33
  I Hate Talking: So we've covered a number of things in terms of who hates talking.
• 15:39
  I Hate Talking: We've covered introverts versus extroverts and the overlap with highly sensitive versus not highly sensitive.
• 15:46
  I Hate Talking: And we've even delved in a little bit to some of the things on what people hate talking about and why they hate talking.
• 15:55
  I Hate Talking: So as we wrap up tonight, uh, let's Pivot and uh talk a little bit about uh what current events are happening and uh wrap up with that this evening in terms of maybe a current event uh or a person that uh is currently uh talking about something that um maybe we do agree with or do not agree with your thoughts.
• 16:24
  I Hate Talking: Well, I didn't know we were doing this, and I would have prepared otherwise.
• 16:31
  I Hate Talking: Um, for those who may not know, I am a stay at home homeschool mom.
• 16:36
  I Hate Talking: So, my current events currently are what's going on with my Elementary school kids and their friends.
• 16:46
  I Hate Talking: Um, so I'll let you take over what's happening in, in the world outside our house.
• 16:53
  I Hate Talking: So, uh, I think we have a number of things.
• 16:58
  I Hate Talking: We just had our solar eclipse.
• 17:00
  I Hate Talking: Uh, it is to be determined on when we will release these first set of episodes, but I think it is safe to say that we will not have another solar eclipse in the United States uh prior to when we release this episode.
• 17:18
  I Hate Talking: Oh yes, I hope so, otherwise.
• 17:20
  I Hate Talking: Yes.
• 17:21
  I Hate Talking: As Eclipse was really cool.
• 17:23
  I Hate Talking: I know you didn't get to see it very much, but me and the kids really got a good view of it from where we were, and it was really cool.
• 17:32
  I Hate Talking: And I sure hope to see it again in the next 20 years, and I hope that this is released.
• 17:38
  I Hate Talking: Before 20 years from now.
• 17:40
  I Hate Talking: Excellent.
• 17:42
  I Hate Talking: All right, so I think that's where we'll end it for this episode.
• 17:47
  I Hate Talking: Uh, next time we'll be back to talk more about what people hate talking about, uh, but until then, from your friends at IHTalking, remember, it is only through talking that we begin the journey to understanding.