Latest / Movie Meltdown / 262: The FP from the 502

Transcript

262: The FP from the 502 · Movie Meltdown

• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Hey there, I'm Joanna Cassidy and I am listening to
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Movie Milk.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: Music It's showtime.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: The following feature has been rated R by the Motion
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: Picture Association of America.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised.
• 0:31
  Speaker 4: Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million.
• 0:35
  Speaker 5: Kilowatts of power. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown.
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: I'm Brian.
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: I'm David. And I'm Patrick.
• 1:23
  Speaker 6: So, yes, the, what did I bill us last time?
• 1:25
  Speaker 6: The Trio of Terror or something to that effect.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Something about that.
• 1:28
  Speaker 6: We're back, and this time we are not from a
• 1:31
  Speaker 6: mall decades ago. No, we are coming to you live
• 1:33
  Speaker 6: via digital recording from Patrick's, what do you want.
• 1:36
  Speaker 7: To call this room?
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: The movie room.
• 1:38
  Speaker 7: Movie room. That's creative.
• 1:40
  Speaker 6: All right. You don't even, like, we usually give people.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: The dinner film.
• 1:43
  Speaker 6: Thank you. We usually make everybody come up with a
• 1:45
  Speaker 6: ridiculous name for their home or their, you know, I
• 1:48
  Speaker 6: live at the Meltdown Compound and Misty and Jay live
• 1:51
  Speaker 6: at the Bastion of Awesomeness. We made up a name
• 1:56
  Speaker 6: for Lucy's house, but she said it sounded like a whorehouse,
• 1:58
  Speaker 6: so she didn't like that anymore. I think she vetoed.
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: It.
• 2:03
  Speaker 6: All right, so we're here in the den of film.
• 2:08
  Speaker 7: Film or filth? That's yet to be seen.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 2:11
  Speaker 6: So, we've decided. I liked the mall episode so much
• 2:15
  Speaker 6: that I thought, we need to return to this. We
• 2:17
  Speaker 6: need to have the three of us get together and
• 2:20
  Speaker 6: have our little movie nights. And this time, we're bringing
• 2:22
  Speaker 6: somebody else in. Patrick, please introduce our guest.
• 2:25
  Speaker 8: This is my neighbor and life companion, Mr. Cary Campbell,
• 2:29
  Speaker 8: attorney at law.
• 2:31
  Speaker 9: I sure hope I'm your life companion. I've been playing
• 2:33
  Speaker 9: and being next to you for a long time.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: It is true.
• 2:37
  Speaker 7: I'm sorry.
• 2:38
  Speaker 10: One way is in one.
• 2:39
  Speaker 8: Here we are for 83 minutes of glory.
• 2:43
  Speaker 6: So, okay, usually we'll do some sort of geek activity.
• 2:46
  Speaker 6: I may be cutting everybody else out of it. Here's
• 2:49
  Speaker 6: a geek activity.
• 2:50
  Speaker 11: Because that's true.
• 2:51
  Speaker 8: Is that like the sequel to Paranormal Activity 6?
• 2:55
  Speaker 6: But I know I haven't done anything near as exciting,
• 2:58
  Speaker 6: and David, I don't know about you. You can chime
• 2:59
  Speaker 6: in if you want. But Patrick, weren't you just like
• 3:01
  Speaker 6: on the other side of the planet?
• 3:03
  Speaker 8: It was at 1.100 degrees warmer than where we are now.
• 3:06
  Speaker 6: The other.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: I've learned how to wear five layers of clothing this
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: year like i don't know.
• 3:16
  Speaker 8: What you were you were actually the man who when
• 3:19
  Speaker 8: i worked at the the we will leave it unnamed
• 3:22
  Speaker 8: who we had to stand up we had to stand
• 3:24
  Speaker 8: a lot and he wore boots and he taught me
• 3:27
  Speaker 8: to wear three layers of socks at a time thank.
• 3:30
  Speaker 6: You yeah my pipes are currently frozen up so just
• 3:33
  Speaker 6: you know screw.
• 3:33
  Speaker 8: You and that's why anyways here to use my toilet That's.
• 3:37
  Speaker 7: Really the only reason. I was like, oh, and we
• 3:39
  Speaker 7: can watch a movie or whatever.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: We're supposed to be FP. We should watch the FP.
• 3:45
  Speaker 8: I'm going to go take a shower.
• 3:47
  Speaker 7: I'll duck out in the middle of it. It'll just
• 3:49
  Speaker 7: hear me singing.
• 3:51
  Speaker 8: It wouldn't be a long shower at 83 minutes.
• 3:54
  Speaker 6: So, no, did you have any interesting tales from the
• 3:58
  Speaker 6: other side of the planet?
• 3:59
  Speaker 7: Other than the temperature.
• 4:00
  Speaker 8: Massages were $ 6.
• 4:01
  Speaker 12: $ 6.
• 4:01
  Speaker 8: I'm in the wrong country. And $ 8 with the handjob.
• 4:08
  Speaker 7: I'm really in the wrong country.
• 4:11
  Speaker 8: That's about it.
• 4:11
  Speaker 6: Okay, then let me ask you for our normal movie
• 4:15
  Speaker 6: geek life that we live. Did you watch any movies
• 4:17
  Speaker 6: while you were there?
• 4:18
  Speaker 8: I did go to the theater.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: Fiatre.
• 4:20
  Speaker 6: What did you see?
• 4:22
  Speaker 8: Oh, The Hobbit 2.
• 4:24
  Speaker 7: The Hobbitine.
• 4:26
  Speaker 8: The Hobbitine. The Revenge of Smog? Smog's Curse? Smog something.
• 4:32
  Speaker 7: Smog 2 Electric Boogaloo?
• 4:34
  Speaker 8: It's Smog 2 Electric Boogaloo and at the end it
• 4:36
  Speaker 8: ends very abruptly.
• 4:37
  Speaker 7: Smog 2 the next day.
• 4:39
  Speaker 6: We've been trying to come up with other ones because
• 4:42
  Speaker 6: everybody always goes to Electric Boogaloo because it is the
• 4:45
  Speaker 6: most awesome one. But then we're trying to work in
• 4:47
  Speaker 6: other sequel titles along the way like Smog's Revenge.
• 4:50
  Speaker 8: You want to get Angelina Jolie on this and go
• 4:52
  Speaker 8: Cradle of Life?
• 4:53
  Speaker 7: Can we?
• 4:55
  Speaker 6: Why don't we bring her in as our extra guest?
• 4:57
  Speaker 10: There you go.
• 4:58
  Speaker 6: We can have a fourth and fifth, and we can
• 5:00
  Speaker 6: just keep adding people.
• 5:02
  Speaker 8: I will say their movie theaters over there are much
• 5:04
  Speaker 8: nicer than ours in Kentucky.
• 5:06
  Speaker 6: Well, that's not saying much, actually. I kind of don't
• 5:09
  Speaker 6: like our mainstream theaters.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: When I was in Japan, I went and saw, actually
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: I saw the first Evangelion movie.
• 5:16
  Speaker 8: I'm going to let the audience know that that came
• 5:18
  Speaker 8: out in 1979.
• 5:19
  Speaker 6: Geek.
• 5:19
  Speaker 8: What are you talking about?
• 5:22
  Speaker 10: No, look. I'm going to get distracted.
• 5:26
  Speaker 8: Is this the one where Shinji masturbates into his hand?
• 5:30
  Speaker 10: Well, I mean, I don't know.
• 5:32
  Speaker 6: His home videos? Wait.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: And the newest ones they didn't have. And the TV series,
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: you know, yeah, that weird, awkward. No, that was the
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: movie that came afterwards. I'm pretty sure. But I'm talking about, like,
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: even more recently. Like, he's summed up the whole series
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: into four movies.
• 5:44
  Speaker 10: Three of them are out now. The fourth one's still pending.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: But the first one, when we were there, the first
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: one was in theaters in Japan. We're like, well, we're
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: not going to understand anything, but we've seen the series.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: We kind of know what's going on. Let's go experience it.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: And what tripped me out is the movie theaters in
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Japan are treated like the way you would treat ballet here.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: It was like you had to wait at a door.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: You couldn't even walk to the theater to a certain point.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Everyone was super quiet. I mean, super quiet. It was
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: like being at a ballet. There was no talking, no nothing.
• 6:12
  Speaker 10: It was bizarre. I was like, wow.
• 6:16
  Speaker 7: We must be respectful to Michael Bay.
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: Shh.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: I think Japanese people would just go Columbine if they
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: watched a movie in America. They just wouldn't understand what's
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: going on.
• 6:25
  Speaker 8: They wouldn't like the fact that the lady behind you
• 6:27
  Speaker 8: is eating the fried chicken?
• 6:31
  Speaker 6: Lately at our theater here, a certain friend of the
• 6:34
  Speaker 6: show keeps calling out. It's not even like kids.
• 6:37
  Speaker 7: Usually you're like, damn teenagers.
• 6:39
  Speaker 6: But he's like, it's always middle-aged old women that are
• 6:42
  Speaker 6: like the row behind him going, Jimmy's got a shirt
• 6:44
  Speaker 6: like that one. You know, it's always just like weird
• 6:47
  Speaker 6: old women that hang out in the theater.
• 6:48
  Speaker 8: You all don't go to the theater that I do
• 6:49
  Speaker 8: because most of the.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Time it's, oh, hell no.
• 6:53
  Speaker 7: They close Dixie Dozen.
• 6:54
  Speaker 6: Anyway.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: No, I was at, I worked at the River Falls
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Cinema for like two years. And unfortunately, I was there
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: when Titanic was out.
• 7:03
  Speaker 10: So a good year and a half of that.
• 7:05
  Speaker 8: Did they ruin it for you?
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Well, what was funny is that, you know, I was
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: an Usher type at the time. And there was one
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: one instance with Titanic where we kept getting people coming
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: out arguing about these two ladies talking during the movie.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: So I'm just like, you know, after like the second
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: or third one, they're like, someone's got to go in
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: with the flashlight, figure out what's going on because we've
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: had too many complaints. So I'm looking for teenagers. I'm
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: looking for teenage girls, right? I walk in, I only
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: get halfway down the aisle and I can go right
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: here and I'm like, no, yeah, there's like two women
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: clearly just, you know, talking out loud. It is these
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: two elderly ladies talking That are just like, I don't
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: know if they didn't have hearing aids.
• 7:46
  Speaker 10: I don't know if they didn't know or what. But
• 7:47
  Speaker 10: just very out loud are just like.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Oh, my.
• 7:50
  Speaker 10: Look at that ship.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, my.
• 7:53
  Speaker 7: I don't know what I.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Would do in that situation. Oh, well, isn't her dress nice?
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: And so I put the flashlight on.
• 8:01
  Speaker 10: I'm like, psst.
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: Hey.
• 8:03
  Speaker 9: Shut the fuck up.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: You know, and of course, they shoot daggers at me.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: They look at me like, who the hell are you?
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: I had to ask them to come in the hallway.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: They just kept talking right in front of me. And
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: I was like, I had to take these 280s.
• 8:13
  Speaker 10: You're old women. Take them out of the hallway and be.
• 8:15
  Speaker 7: Like, now we've crossed over into porn territory.
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: Hold on.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: And then was my first menage a trois. Two girls,
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: one usher.
• 8:22
  Speaker 13: Wow.
• 8:23
  Speaker 7: I've read that.
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: Come on.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: That's a horror movie right there.
• 8:26
  Speaker 10: We do have a lot of butter and a lot
• 8:28
  Speaker 10: of syrup and slushy stickiness.
• 8:32
  Speaker 8: A lot of wrinkles.
• 8:33
  Speaker 10: A lot of wrinkles.
• 8:37
  Speaker 6: So at some point were they like, I like a
• 8:40
  Speaker 6: lot of ice in my drink.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: You're going to make it never work again. Thank you.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: I'm stunted.
• 8:49
  Speaker 6: I'm just making Titanic jokes. What are you doing?
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I'm permanently flaccid while you talk about Titanic.
• 8:56
  Speaker 7: I'm sitting next to you. I'm okay with that.
• 8:57
  Speaker 8: Draw me like one of your French girls, Winfro.
• 9:01
  Speaker 7: All right.
• 9:01
  Speaker 6: So other than that, what was your experience like, Patrick?
• 9:08
  Speaker 7: In your otherworldly... Trips to the theater.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: It was warm.
• 9:11
  Speaker 8: I ate a lot of mangoes. A lot of tan
• 9:14
  Speaker 8: people who didn't understand what I was saying.
• 9:16
  Speaker 10: Do you feel like you're in loss eating so many mangoes?
• 9:18
  Speaker 10: I always eat mangoes in loss.
• 9:19
  Speaker 8: I actually have never. The Filipino mango is a lot
• 9:23
  Speaker 8: different than any mango we've ever had here. I actually
• 9:26
  Speaker 8: got quite the addiction. I developed an allergy because I
• 9:30
  Speaker 8: was eating up to six mangoes a day. They're phenomenal.
• 9:34
  Speaker 10: So what, you didn't have an allergy?
• 9:35
  Speaker 8: I did not.
• 9:36
  Speaker 10: But you ate so much mango, your body started like
• 9:38
  Speaker 10: rejecting it. Rejected them.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: Interesting.
• 9:41
  Speaker 8: It was awesome. I imagine the same thing could happen
• 9:44
  Speaker 8: with hentai.
• 9:45
  Speaker 6: I don't eat things that actually grow. I would probably
• 9:47
  Speaker 6: die immediately. Things that are real food, my body does
• 9:52
  Speaker 6: not know how to process.
• 9:53
  Speaker 8: Other than that, life was blessed.
• 9:55
  Speaker 7: Well, I mean, I know it's not food when I
• 9:57
  Speaker 7: go to the old time oh oh.
• 9:59
  Speaker 8: A little a little bit of movie love we me
• 10:02
  Speaker 8: and the me and the miseries went on the honeymoon.
• 10:05
  Speaker 14: She was miserable exactly and it was uh in this
• 10:09
  Speaker 14: you know like islands and in the middle of the
• 10:11
  Speaker 14: south pacific and it turned out that uh for all
• 10:15
  Speaker 14: those people out there in TV land, I'm not a
• 10:16
  Speaker 14: beautiful person.
• 10:18
  Speaker 7: In fact, I can barely sit here next to you.
• 10:20
  Speaker 8: I'm lucky to have a wife.
• 10:22
  Speaker 6: That's true.
• 10:23
  Speaker 7: I don't understand how you score that.
• 10:25
  Speaker 8: But because I am white, and when I was in
• 10:28
  Speaker 8: the middle of the Philippines, they were like, oh, you
• 10:31
  Speaker 8: look like Matt Damon. And I was like, really?
• 10:36
  Speaker 10: Did you start talking to Matt Damon?
• 10:37
  Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 10:38
  Speaker 10: Did you go to talk about it and be like, Matt.
• 10:40
  Speaker 6: Damon, Matt Damon?
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: Matt Damon.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Matt Damon.
• 10:43
  Speaker 8: But the place that we stayed for our honeymoon was
• 10:45
  Speaker 8: actually in the credits, the closing credits of the... Well,
• 10:49
  Speaker 8: Matt Damon's not even in that movie. The Bourne Legacy
• 10:52
  Speaker 8: with not Matt Damon.
• 10:54
  Speaker 7: Not Matt Damon, which is you.
• 10:55
  Speaker 8: Yeah, exactly.
• 10:57
  Speaker 6: By the way, Movie Meltdown takes no credit for his
• 11:00
  Speaker 6: other language choices here. But you have married into the culture.
• 11:04
  Speaker 6: Does that mean you can now make racist comments?
• 11:06
  Speaker 8: I mean, I can make tons of racist comments.
• 11:08
  Speaker 7: I don't know if that's cool, man.
• 11:10
  Speaker 8: They have such great.
• 11:13
  Speaker 7: Think we're supposed to be talking about this.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: It was funny.
• 11:16
  Speaker 10: Was it strangely mostly American?
• 11:18
  Speaker 8: It was very interesting because we stayed in the capital
• 11:21
  Speaker 8: for the most part and they had 16 movie theaters
• 11:26
  Speaker 8: in something like 14 square miles. So like all the
• 11:29
  Speaker 8: movie theaters in the whole country, like 90% of them
• 11:32
  Speaker 8: are in Manila, the capital of the Philippines.
• 11:34
  Speaker 6: Are they all like single theater? They don't have multiplex?
• 11:37
  Speaker 8: So there's six. There's six theaters at a time and
• 11:40
  Speaker 8: three of them are IMAX and three of them are regular.
• 11:43
  Speaker 8: And so we were like, oh, my God, we're going
• 11:44
  Speaker 8: to get to see The Hobbit, the whatever of Smaug
• 11:47
  Speaker 8: in 3D on the IMAX. And we go, and it
• 11:50
  Speaker 8: was every American movie was on a little screen, and
• 11:53
  Speaker 8: every Filipino movie that you'd never heard of, something with
• 11:55
  Speaker 8: the title of like Baka Laka Ding Dong, was on
• 11:58
  Speaker 8: the IMAX. And then we look at the films. It's like, well,
• 12:00
  Speaker 8: you know, we went and saw The Desolation of Smaug,
• 12:03
  Speaker 8: and the screen was really nice. It was huge.
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: It was big.
• 12:05
  Speaker 8: So we're like, God, the IMAX must be really good.
• 12:07
  Speaker 8: Let's go see Baka Laka Ding Dong. And you go,
• 12:10
  Speaker 8: and it's like, the fuck is this? I would expect
• 12:13
  Speaker 8: somebody that lives in a trailer out off Dixie Highway
• 12:16
  Speaker 8: to film better.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 12:18
  Speaker 8: But the theaters were nice. The theaters were clean. I
• 12:21
  Speaker 8: was really impressed. By Baka-Laka-Ding-Dong.
• 12:25
  Speaker 7: You like your Baka-Laka-Ding-Dong.
• 12:26
  Speaker 8: Baka-Laka-Ding-Dong's good.
• 12:28
  Speaker 7: I prefer Shama-Lama-Ding-Dong, but that's just me.
• 12:30
  Speaker 8: Yeah, but you go like five minutes outside the city
• 12:33
  Speaker 8: and you're like, wow, that is a lot of filth.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: That's rough.
• 12:36
  Speaker 7: Well, we just have that in the city, so.
• 12:39
  Speaker 10: So it's like Philadelphia.
• 12:41
  Speaker 8: No, yeah, Philadelphia is so much worse. So much worse
• 12:44
  Speaker 8: than the Philippines. Forge shit on both of them.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: That is why, that is why, that is why you
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: are my sugar daddy.
• 13:12
  Speaker 5: Golden, pure, creamery butter. Rich, flavorful, satisfying. That's what it
• 13:16
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• 13:19
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• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Ding dong.
• 14:06
  Speaker 10: Hey.
• 14:07
  Speaker 6: Oh, my, my. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Back into my smile, child.
• 14:15
  Speaker 10: That is why.
• 14:16
  Speaker 6: That is why.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: That is why.
• 14:18
  Speaker 5: That is why.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: You are my sugar, dear, dear.
• 14:22
  Speaker 8: We're not going to start on how Rhino is a Transformer.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: Right, he's in a goddamn mech suit.
• 14:29
  Speaker 8: Is he in a mech suit? Is this Elysian of
• 14:32
  Speaker 8: the Spider-Man film?
• 14:33
  Speaker 6: Well, if that's the case, why do we keep adding
• 14:35
  Speaker 6: villains in?
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: Dude, they just added the, what, the spider, what's the
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: one villain? Dude, I'm fucking lit.
• 14:41
  Speaker 10: I don't even know.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: The spider, killer spider. I don't know.
• 14:45
  Speaker 10: From the cartoon?
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not even one of the Sinister Six. It's
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: another one, the Spider Slayer. They just added the Spider Slayer.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: They cast it and added the spider. Yeah, so now
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: you have the Sinister Six. And this guy, you're going
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: to have seven villains in one movie.
• 15:00
  Speaker 6: Nothing from all of these other stupid superhero movies.
• 15:04
  Speaker 8: If we're going from Elysian to Spider-Man, we might as
• 15:07
  Speaker 8: well go to the new Tom Cruise mech suit movie.
• 15:10
  Speaker 8: That actually looks really good because it pulls in parts
• 15:12
  Speaker 8: of Vanilla Sky.
• 15:13
  Speaker 6: Which one are you discussing?
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Don't you... It's old Vanilla Sky.
• 15:17
  Speaker 8: Vanilla Sky is probably my favorite movie of all time.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: See, me and Vanilla Sky have a weird, creepy association.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: I'm really fascinated with dreams. Read lots of books on it.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Had really, really vivid, crazy, lucid dreams in my childhood.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Dreams have been a big part of my life. So
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: the fact it was about dreams was already interesting. But
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: then the main character's name is David? And the day
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: that he dies, for whatever reason, the only date they
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: mention in the movie is December 5th when old girl
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: takes him off the bridge and the incident happens, which
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: is my birthday.
• 15:52
  Speaker 8: It was meant for you.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: So that movie was kind of extra creepy for me.
• 15:56
  Speaker 6: I was like, what's going on here? I like your logic.
• 15:58
  Speaker 6: It works just like my childhood mind when I was
• 16:01
  Speaker 6: excited because my favorite movie, his name was Brian, and
• 16:05
  Speaker 6: he had a robot dog, and his girlfriend was Valerie Bertinelli. Anyway.
• 16:09
  Speaker 7: It's pretty exciting.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: As much as... You know, I've said this a million times.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: I absolutely loathe Tom Cruise as a person. But Last
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: Samurai and Interview with a Vampire will forever be two
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: of my favorite movies ever. And as much as I
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: hate him as an individual, I just... Ken Watanabe is
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: so fucking good in Last Samurai.
• 16:32
  Speaker 8: Name a bad movie. It's actually a second to Last
• 16:35
  Speaker 8: Samurai is what it should have been called. That was
• 16:37
  Speaker 8: the good one.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: It's weird.
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: Like.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Out of all my DVDs, like literally 95% of them
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: are Japanese and Asian, just subtitle stuff. Did you see
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: Ghost Protocol?
• 16:45
  Speaker 8: Did you see Ghost Protocol? Tell me one bad thing
• 16:47
  Speaker 8: about Ghost Protocol.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: I haven't watched a single Mission Impossible movie.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: What?
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: I haven't watched any of the.
• 16:52
  Speaker 7: Mission Impossible movies. Come halfway in.
• 16:53
  Speaker 6: What?
• 16:53
  Speaker 7: Because one and two, whatever.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Three, pretty entertaining.
• 16:58
  Speaker 6: Four, pretty damned entertaining.
• 17:00
  Speaker 8: Philip Seymour Hoffman, may he rest in peace.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: That's J.J. Abrams though, right?
• 17:04
  Speaker 7: Yeah, third one was.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Dude, I'm telling you. I have a lot of faith
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: in Abrams. Between Fringe and the early part of Lost,
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: let me make that clear, before he handed the script
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: over and it got slaughtered and it got rewritten, early
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: Lost and Fringe, Abrams is a god. I'm not going
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: to mention Felicity at all. That never happened. That was
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: his junior high, sophomore, figuring it all out.
• 17:32
  Speaker 8: She cut her hair.
• 17:33
  Speaker 10: The world stopped.
• 17:34
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 17:35
  Speaker 8: Seven, eight, and nine. That's all I'm saying.
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: But he did find a way to add a dimension
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: shit at the end, didn't he? In the weird last season,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: wasn't there a weird time? I had a girlfriend to
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: watch it.
• 17:45
  Speaker 6: Wasn't there a weird thing where there was an alternate universe? Seriously.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: I don't know why I would think you two haven't
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: watched it, but I think in the last season of Felicity,
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: there was something weird where they actually canceled the show
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: half season, so he ended it, and then they came
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: back like, no, no, no, no, no. We're going to
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: let you finish.
• 18:02
  Speaker 6: They've done that before.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: So he did a weird... alternate dimension time loop something
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: weird because he had to figure out a way to
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: have another half of the season so the man that's
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: infamous for like solar flares and dimensions and time loops
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: found a way to do it in felicity seven eight
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: and nine.
• 18:20
  Speaker 8: That's all i'm saying one eight seven yo until we
• 18:23
  Speaker 8: see seven eight and nine.
• 18:25
  Speaker 6: That's what worries me is i mean given in both
• 18:28
  Speaker 6: of those universes is.
• 18:31
  Speaker 8: Felicity and Star Wars?
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 18:32
  Speaker 6: Or Star Trek and Star Wars?
• 18:33
  Speaker 7: Oh, that one too.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: Whatever.
• 18:34
  Speaker 7: I mean, obviously Felicity's more important than either of those.
• 18:37
  Speaker 6: Other two, but.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: The amount of just absolute plot hole impossible things in
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: that second Star Trek movie is insane. I was absolutely entertained.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Let me say.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: It's entertaining. I was entertained by both movies, but the
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: fact that.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: You do realize at the end of the second movie,
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: they found... immortality. Does everyone get that? Like, his blood
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: or whatever, did they use to bring Kurt back to life?
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: You have, like, what, 70-something of these bodies? You have
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: a ridiculous amount of blood that is immortality. That's huge! Yeah,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: you brought Kurt back to life.
• 19:17
  Speaker 6: Yay!
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: But you also have enough blood to do that, like,
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: For so many people, and I'm sure you could replicate that,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: you found immortality in a Star Trek movie. What's part
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: three about? What's the matter?
• 19:31
  Speaker 8: It'd be great if in the third one they tied
• 19:33
  Speaker 8: it in with the fourth one, and that's where the
• 19:36
  Speaker 8: kidney-growing pill comes from.
• 19:39
  Speaker 6: Interesting.
• 19:39
  Speaker 8: Turns out they replicate the blood, and it only grows kidneys.
• 19:43
  Speaker 6: Inside of invisible lead. it's all coming together.
• 19:50
  Speaker 8: Seven eight and nine.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: Seven eight we'll see we'll see the fact that like
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: day one they were like timothy's on who the fuck
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: is that fuck his books i was like oh this
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: ain't good this ain't good You could at least go, well,
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: you know, they were good books, but we're going to
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: opt not to.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: Don't
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: even assume that we give a damn about Timothy Zahn. Forget,
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: you're never going to see Grand Animal Thrawn in a movie.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: Get over it.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: You're never going to see Mara Jade in a movie.
• 20:22
  Speaker 6: Get over it. This is Steve Zahn's brother, right?
• 20:24
  Speaker 7: Steve Zahn.
• 20:29
  Speaker 6: Are we continuing our tangent episode? We can just do an.
• 20:33
  Speaker 7: Offshoot episode here.
• 20:34
  Speaker 8: But the trailer episode is obviously better.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, this is legit, like, Suncoast life right here, though. Like,
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: this would be us. If you just imagine, like, every
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: now and then being like, wait a minute, let me
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: bring this guy up. Then this is Suncoast life right here.
• 20:47
  Speaker 8: We invented the Kevin Bacon mathematical system.
• 20:52
  Speaker 6: I used to be really good at that. My brain
• 20:53
  Speaker 6: is useless now, but I used to be pretty good.
• 20:56
  Speaker 8: There's a Google app.
• 20:57
  Speaker 7: Yeah, no, you don't need to now.
• 20:58
  Speaker 10: A Bacon app.
• 21:00
  Speaker 6: Computers take over and now you don't need your brain.
• 21:02
  Speaker 8: Stephen Hawking's invented the bacon app.
• 21:05
  Speaker 6: And there's no black holes.
• 21:35
  Speaker 15: Hey guys, it's the repeater from the Tower of Technobabble
• 21:39
  Speaker 15: and we're getting ready to do our next show and
• 21:42
  Speaker 15: I thought it might be cool for you to look
• 21:44
  Speaker 15: behind the scenes.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: And See how the magic happens.
• 21:47
  Speaker 15: In fact, Conduit is getting Towerbot ready right now as
• 21:51
  Speaker 15: we speak.
• 21:52
  Speaker 10: Approaching Singularity.
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: Got it.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Avengers. Got it.
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: Bacon. Need it.
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: Batman.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: Bigfoot.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: Cartoons.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Catwoman.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Comics.
• 21:58
  Speaker 5: Got it.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: Conspiracies.
• 21:59
  Speaker 6: Need it.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Doctor Who.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: Green Lantern.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 22:01
  Speaker 8: Hoaxes.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Need it. Mars.
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: Monkeys.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: Got it.
• 22:04
  Speaker 13: Movie reviews.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: Myths.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 22:06
  Speaker 6: NASA.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Need it.
• 22:07
  Speaker 12: Oceanography.
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Politics.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: See what happens.
• 22:45
  Speaker 12: Hi, this is Verdon Wells, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown.
• 22:49
  Speaker 12: And I have one thing to say. I know where
• 22:52
  Speaker 12: you live, you little fuckers. So listen, or I will
• 22:55
  Speaker 12: come and get you, I will rip off your head,
• 22:57
  Speaker 12: and I will piss down your neck.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: So, remember that.
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: Music It's time for Sofa Theater.
• 23:16
  Speaker 7: All right, should we delve into this crazy-ass movie?
• 23:30
  Speaker 8: What's the name of the film?
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: The FP.
• 23:33
  Speaker 8: Those are initials?
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Yes, it stands for Franklin Park.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 23:38
  Speaker 8: Fellatio protocol is fellatio with a ph i'm trying to
• 23:44
  Speaker 8: figure it out does anybody want to read the netflix
• 23:49
  Speaker 8: synopsis for the movie before we get started.
• 23:51
  Speaker 6: Uh i was going to before do you want to
• 23:53
  Speaker 6: go ahead and get out of the way now yeah
• 23:54
  Speaker 6: sure okay let's.
• 23:56
  Speaker 8: Let's do this i'm just gonna do it though are
• 23:57
  Speaker 8: we gonna like paper rock scissor for this or is.
• 23:59
  Speaker 6: Well i'll do the i'll do the in school i'll
• 24:02
  Speaker 6: do the intro here perfect so this week's sofa theater
• 24:05
  Speaker 6: feature is the fp the year is 2011 We don't
• 24:09
  Speaker 6: know who the director is because it won't come up
• 24:11
  Speaker 6: on the screen. They don't think it's important enough to tell.
• 24:13
  Speaker 7: You on this... I don't know. You tell me.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: Can I just say that it says.
• 24:18
  Speaker 8: Oh, yeah.
• 24:20
  Speaker 16: There you go. You tell them.
• 24:22
  Speaker 8: Oh, it's getting pretty high reviews. Both the reviews are
• 24:25
  Speaker 8: pretty high.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: Well, at least one on one I'm seeing the movie.
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: Well, I'll go with Netflix's description first. In this outrageous
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: sci-fi send-up, Revenge, Thirsty Warrior, J-Tro, and in his merciless L.W.E.,
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Wage a bitter turf war for control of Frasier Park.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: Did I say Franklin Park? It's Frasier Park.
• 24:44
  Speaker 7: He said Franklin every time, I think.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: It's weird because I want to say Lincoln Park for
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: some reason. I think I did actually call him Lincoln Park.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I don't know. With dominance turning on mastery of the
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: ancient techniques of dance, video game, beat, beat revolution. So
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: what we really have here is beat, beat revolution. In
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: the 80s there were a couple fantastic movies called Freakin'..
• 25:09
  Speaker 10: And in these movies.
• 25:10
  Speaker 7: Beat Street.
• 25:11
  Speaker 10: Wait a minute.
• 25:12
  Speaker 8: Wasn't there a sequel to Break-In?
• 25:15
  Speaker 7: The Desolation of Smog, I think.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: Electric something?
• 25:17
  Speaker 10: I don't think anyone's ever heard of the sequel.
• 25:19
  Speaker 8: Probably nobody's ever seen it.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: The electric. Minus Todd.
• 25:23
  Speaker 7: Electric slide.
• 25:23
  Speaker 8: Minus Todd.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: In essence here, what we have is like a very
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: trauma film-ish sort of spoof of the 80s movies, Break-In.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: you know if somehow you haven't seen these movies uh
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: imagine a gd80s almost like michael jackson beat it style
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: movie where instead of actually fighting um you know two
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: gangs would break dance to i don't know outdo the
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: other one like as if somehow that won something um
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: so instead of breakdancing to uh to one-up each other
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: in this one. They couldn't say Dance Dance Revolution, so
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: it's called Beat Beat Revolution, but in essence, you have
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: these two gangs that fight each other through Beat Beat Revolution,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: which has a unique game mode called 187 Mode, in
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: which whoever loses, dies.
• 26:16
  Speaker 6: So, yeah.
• 26:17
  Speaker 8: Can I just say, I am incredibly frightened right now.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: So, now that Lugo gave us such a good intro,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: we don't have to watch it. Really, just keep in mind,
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's just a fun, lighthearted, silly thing anyway.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: But it feels so much like an 80s movie. Like
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: the music, they were like, let's get cheesy 80s style music.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: The film style is very cheesy 80s style. The whole
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: thing is just this homage to the cheesy 80s movie genre.
• 26:43
  Speaker 10: And it's fantastic.
• 26:45
  Speaker 6: If you don't like this, we might not have to
• 26:47
  Speaker 6: be friends anymore.
• 26:49
  Speaker 10: I've watched this three times.
• 26:50
  Speaker 8: If I watch this, you can watch my Sasquatch horror movie.
• 26:55
  Speaker 16: Oh, we're getting to that.
• 26:55
  Speaker 6: We have an entire Sasquatch series running.
• 26:59
  Speaker 7: You do realize that, right?
• 27:01
  Speaker 8: You know what I'm talking about?
• 27:03
  Speaker 7: It doesn't matter.
• 27:04
  Speaker 8: No, that's too hairy for me. I can't deal with
• 27:07
  Speaker 8: that shit.
• 27:08
  Speaker 7: There's hairy and it doesn't have to be Sasquatch.
• 27:12
  Speaker 6: Recently, I've seen people leave with videos that I'm just like,
• 27:16
  Speaker 6: you purposefully rented this. When it has hairy in the title,
• 27:21
  Speaker 6: good lord.
• 27:21
  Speaker 8: Was Asia Argento in it?
• 27:24
  Speaker 10: Oh, did it have a XXX section?
• 27:26
  Speaker 11: Oh, yeah.
• 27:27
  Speaker 7: There's a special room.
• 27:27
  Speaker 8: A little special room.
• 27:28
  Speaker 7: There's no special room if you do that.
• 27:30
  Speaker 10: I didn't realize they had that, though.
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 27:32
  Speaker 10: Is Harry and the Hendersons a part of the horror section?
• 27:36
  Speaker 6: Oh, I'm sure there's a part.
• 27:39
  Speaker 10: There's a separate.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: What's the porn version of that named?
• 27:43
  Speaker 7: Isn't it just Harry and the Hendersons?
• 27:45
  Speaker 10: It's the same thing.
• 27:46
  Speaker 6: It's just spelled a little differently.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Harry and his Henderson.
• 27:49
  Speaker 10: There you go.
• 27:49
  Speaker 6: Harry has Henderson.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Motherfucker.
• 27:54
  Speaker 7: Alright, are we ready to get into this movie?
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: On that bombshell.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: Right on.
• 27:57
  Speaker 13: Alright, well here, this is how we're really getting into it.
• 28:01
  Speaker 13: Everybody else is getting boozed up this episode. You got
• 28:03
  Speaker 13: your bourbon and whatnot, but here, check this out. That
• 28:07
  Speaker 13: there's some root beer.
• 28:08
  Speaker 6: Getting hardcore.
• 28:10
  Speaker 8: That's a Trader Joe's brand.
• 28:12
  Speaker 6: It is not.
• 28:15
  Speaker 10: You hear that?
• 28:17
  Speaker 6: Shit's about to get real.
• 28:18
  Speaker 11: That was root beer opening up, motherfuckers.
• 28:21
  Speaker 6: Root beers are open. boys are out tonight this is
• 28:27
  Speaker 6: how we roll this ain't.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: No butter beer this is root beer.
• 28:32
  Speaker 7: This ain't no ginger beer.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: For years an underground war has raged for dominance over
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: the small town of frazier park between two clans the
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: two foray from the north.
• 28:44
  Speaker 7: We roll together We die together.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: And the 245 from the South.
• 28:48
  Speaker 8: Yo, clam shout-out!
• 28:50
  Speaker 7: It's the end of days out there, J-Tro.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: The darkness has come.
• 28:55
  Speaker 6: That gonna stay up off my flavor.
• 28:56
  Speaker 7: Listen up, y'all.
• 29:00
  Speaker 6: We gonna break history tonight.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: The battle for the FP has only just begun.
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: Three, two, one.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: Beep, beep!
• 29:19
  Speaker 17: Check out your hero now!
• 29:23
  Speaker 12: Beatro got 187!
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: Beatro's death wasn't your fault. It was his. He wasn't
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: expecting the unexpected.
• 29:33
  Speaker 8: You just disappeared. You didn't tell no one where you went.
• 29:37
  Speaker 10: You ain't the only one who lost, Beatro. all did.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: I got a surprise for you. My brother B-Tro.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: You gonna try him on?
• 29:48
  Speaker 10: After B-Tro got 187, the 248 lost it. The 245
• 29:51
  Speaker 10: has taken over. LWE's got even more street cred now.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Hey, LWE, I challenge you to a beat-up.
• 30:00
  Speaker 5: Say what?
• 30:01
  Speaker 8: Saturday night, a one-on-one, three-round, beat-beat revelation match.
• 30:06
  Speaker 5: I'm in.
• 30:06
  Speaker 16: Yo.
• 30:08
  Speaker 6: Yo. Let's see.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: What the kids got.
• 30:14
  Speaker 17: You got this, J-Trop.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: Come on.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: I check this.
• 30:20
  Speaker 17: B-E-A-T, dawg.
• 30:25
  Speaker 5: You're gonna take W.E.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: Down.
• 30:26
  Speaker 17: Dance with your mind.
• 30:31
  Speaker 8: But Una Stubbs? Una Stubbs is in it sick. I
• 30:39
  Speaker 8: had no idea. I haven't seen her since.
• 30:42
  Speaker 7: Ever.
• 30:44
  Speaker 16: Sherlock.
• 30:45
  Speaker 7: That's the worst win.
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: Hang on.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: She's been in a lot of shit.
• 30:48
  Speaker 8: Victoria Wood in 1989.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I got some Victoria Wood for her. Felicity Jones?
• 30:59
  Speaker 6: Are you escaping?
• 31:00
  Speaker 18: I think the advertisement for your show for.
• 31:03
  Speaker 8: This episode should be quotes from the movie, including he
• 31:09
  Speaker 8: wasn't expecting the unexpected. But it sure as fuck expected him.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: I'm still going to go with, how's a motherfucking nigg
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: supposed to short his shit out without no motherfucking ducks?
• 31:40
  Speaker 8: And then showed up in a duck shirt.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: And he's the real deal for real.
• 31:46
  Speaker 10: He's the real deal for real. BLT.
• 31:48
  Speaker 6: BLT. It's so good we've chased our other party out.
• 31:54
  Speaker 6: He said, peace out.
• 31:55
  Speaker 11: And he ran out.
• 31:56
  Speaker 7: Because we are now coming to you from the 502.
• 31:58
  Speaker 6: I'm going to be doing that all night.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: Because we.
• 32:03
  Speaker 8: It just got so black.
• 32:04
  Speaker 6: We don't like those idiots from the 812.
• 32:07
  Speaker 7: Fuck those guys, man. Fuck those. 812ers.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: What park do we have? Can we say the CP?
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: The Cherokee Park?
• 32:16
  Speaker 6: Can we do the CP? We're getting back into this movie.
• 32:19
  Speaker 6: And I hope you watched it in between now and then.
• 32:22
  Speaker 7: Because... You have to watch it.
• 32:25
  Speaker 6: Oh, my God.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: Do yourself the honor of watching it.
• 32:28
  Speaker 10: It gets better every time.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: Like, I'm not even joking. That's the fourth time I
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: watched it. I pick up more dialogue and more ridiculousness
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: every time.
• 32:34
  Speaker 6: And you regret every word.
• 32:36
  Speaker 8: And that rest in the background.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 32:39
  Speaker 6: Well, it just keeps finding you. It's like Mona Lisa's eyes.
• 32:42
  Speaker 6: They follow you around the movie. You're just like, they're
• 32:45
  Speaker 6: looking at you.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: Just mesmerized by Ariel.
• 32:46
  Speaker 10: Where did you find him?
• 32:47
  Speaker 8: Where did you find him?
• 32:51
  Speaker 6: All right, so where do you want to get into
• 32:55
  Speaker 6: this other than we're coming from the 502? There are
• 32:59
  Speaker 6: more numbers belted out in this movie than maybe a
• 33:02
  Speaker 6: phone book. I don't know. Like, it is constant. They
• 33:05
  Speaker 6: just yell out three numbers at any given moment on
• 33:09
  Speaker 6: any given scene.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: It was mostly like 248, I think, and 249. I
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: wonder where these zip codes are. It's probably like Colorado
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: or something completely random.
• 33:19
  Speaker 6: That is what they were referencing. Because at one point
• 33:21
  Speaker 6: I was like, maybe that's not even what they're doing.
• 33:23
  Speaker 6: They don't really make sense at any point.
• 33:25
  Speaker 16: They're just naming their area.
• 33:27
  Speaker 8: It's amazing that this film looks nothing like Southern California.
• 33:31
  Speaker 7: You've never seen it. What do you know?
• 33:35
  Speaker 6: You didn't spend several years there. As we were going through,
• 33:37
  Speaker 6: Patrick was picking the locations out.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: I've been there.
• 33:40
  Speaker 10: I've been there.
• 33:42
  Speaker 8: That's the most famous bridge in Marin County.
• 33:46
  Speaker 6: Nobody's ever heard of that place. You're crazy. What's this, California?
• 33:52
  Speaker 7: Nobody's heard of it.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: This movie makes me want to try Dance Dance Revolution.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: I remember working at GameStop and hating when a new
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: Dance Dance Revolution came out because this very unique breed
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: would come out for that one day. Exactly. And I
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: was just like, oh, God. Yes, here you go. Go
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: stomp it out. Go home.
• 34:13
  Speaker 8: See, it's funny because this movie makes me want to
• 34:15
  Speaker 8: wear boots.
• 34:17
  Speaker 7: Giant, giant boots.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: I don't even think those are like ski boots. I
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: don't know what those things are. It looked like astronaut boots. Like, seriously,
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: it looks like walking on the moon boots. Those things
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: are massive.
• 34:27
  Speaker 7: Well, take your pick.
• 34:28
  Speaker 6: The brother, the first one, I just called them for
• 34:30
  Speaker 6: being Hot Topic boots because they kind of were grande
• 34:32
  Speaker 6: Hot Topic boots. But the ones by the end, really,
• 34:35
  Speaker 6: like they one-up some.
• 34:36
  Speaker 8: Are the second pair the ones after the montage or
• 34:38
  Speaker 8: before the montage?
• 34:40
  Speaker 6: They were after, aren't they?
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: They were post-montage.
• 34:41
  Speaker 6: They were after the first montage. We do kind of
• 34:44
  Speaker 6: get a miniature montage later.
• 34:46
  Speaker 8: And then there's montage deus ex, and then that's the.
• 34:51
  Speaker 6: That's the fucking montage. Okay, do we want to... Do
• 34:56
  Speaker 6: you want to hit the characters first, or do you
• 34:58
  Speaker 6: want to go into your favorite moments? We should probably
• 35:01
  Speaker 6: get into some of these characters. Our Snake, Plissken, Ripoff.
• 35:04
  Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 35:04
  Speaker 10: And then.
• 35:06
  Speaker 8: motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking.
• 35:08
  Speaker 6: Plane well i guess before even the characters where is
• 35:12
  Speaker 6: this like it's like some.
• 35:14
  Speaker 18: Sort of post-apocalyptic post-apocalyptic 80s like it's so clearly an
• 35:20
  Speaker 18: 80s thing it's not even just 80s it's like post-apocalyptic
• 35:24
  Speaker 18: white trashville trailers yeah like why is it the trashiest
• 35:28
  Speaker 18: part of the future like there's no good part.
• 35:30
  Speaker 6: Of the future it's just the trashiest neighborhood it's.
• 35:33
  Speaker 8: Like post-apocalyptic nebraska Sorry, Nebraska.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: Post-apocalyptic, forever 80s thug life.
• 35:42
  Speaker 10: Thug life!
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: And someone apparently still had their PlayStation with a DDR pad,
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: so that became the.
• 35:49
  Speaker 8: I have two DDR pads in the basement right now.
• 35:52
  Speaker 8: Right now.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: Like I said, that's why it feels so much like
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: that break-in movie.
• 35:57
  Speaker 8: If you lose a life, or an eye, this is us.
• 36:01
  Speaker 7: It pretty close.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: I want a prequel on how he lost his eye.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: Do you? Oh, I do. I don't know about you two.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: I love this movie. So I would take a prequel, sequel.
• 36:13
  Speaker 8: It's a really funny story because it's actually, he's on
• 36:16
  Speaker 8: his way to New Jersey and the president's daughter is
• 36:19
  Speaker 8: in a plane and she crashes into New York, which
• 36:22
  Speaker 8: is actually a police state at that time, a criminal colony.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: This sounds like a potential script.
• 36:29
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you should write this down. Get a hold of
• 36:31
  Speaker 6: a producer.
• 36:32
  Speaker 7: Maybe Deborah Hill or something.
• 36:33
  Speaker 8: It culminates in them trying to get across the Jefferson
• 36:35
  Speaker 8: Memorial Bridge. It's a long story.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: You could snake your way into Hollywood with that.
• 36:39
  Speaker 6: I get it. Somehow that's ten times better than every
• 36:44
  Speaker 6: piece of dialogue in this movie.
• 36:45
  Speaker 8: Well, and then there's an earthquake and he ends up
• 36:47
  Speaker 8: surfing a tsunami. It's pretty cool.
• 36:50
  Speaker 6: Get Steve Buscemi on the phone right now. I want
• 36:53
  Speaker 6: to make this happen. All right.
• 36:56
  Speaker 7: Well, that's the thing. I mean, the plot of Escape.
• 37:00
  Speaker 6: To L.A.
• 37:00
  Speaker 7: Or from L.A.
• 37:02
  Speaker 6: Like, it makes this look like... Beauty? Yeah. I mean,
• 37:07
  Speaker 6: Escape from L.A. is like a dream compared to this plot.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: Did you guys ever watch White Boys? Do you remember
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: that movie, White Boys?
• 37:13
  Speaker 8: Is Martin Lawrence in that? Oh, it's Bad Boys.
• 37:16
  Speaker 10: Right, right.
• 37:16
  Speaker 7: White Chicks? Is that the one you're thinking?
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: It's like White Boys meets Breaking. Produced by Trauma.
• 37:22
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and if you haven't seen it, prepare yourself. There's
• 37:25
  Speaker 6: a certain N-word that gets thrown around constantly.
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: They just say, nigg. And like, not always. It could
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: be short for Nigeria.
• 37:33
  Speaker 15: Not always.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: Or Nicaragua. There is no Nicaragua. It's Nicaragua. Hmm. What's
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: in the other N-I-G-A-R-A-G-A? Why didn't they just say ninja?
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: Everyone says ninja. Just say ninja. They.
• 37:45
  Speaker 6: They throw it around constantly, but I'm like, you'll also
• 37:47
  Speaker 6: notice everybody around them is white.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: There was not one African American in this movie.
• 37:56
  Speaker 18: And a bunch of white trash people.
• 37:58
  Speaker 6: And I'm just like, well, no wonder you can say
• 38:00
  Speaker 6: that every chance you get. Because somebody would beat your
• 38:03
  Speaker 6: ass otherwise.
• 38:04
  Speaker 8: If there was a single black person in the whole world.
• 38:06
  Speaker 6: Rightfully so, you crack-ass crack.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: What'd you say?
• 38:10
  Speaker 8: Oh, I went up, sir.
• 38:12
  Speaker 6: It is so constant, though, and I'm just like, who
• 38:15
  Speaker 6: writes that in 2011?
• 38:18
  Speaker 8: Jewish people.
• 38:18
  Speaker 6: I guess.
• 38:21
  Speaker 7: Oh, you're starting a race war now.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: It's like the word wasn't even used that way in
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: the 80s.
• 38:25
  Speaker 7: No, not.
• 38:26
  Speaker 6: I mean, it's more of a 90s thing when it
• 38:29
  Speaker 6: started getting thrown around like that. It was still just
• 38:31
  Speaker 6: kind of a horribly offensive term in the 80s. Nobody
• 38:35
  Speaker 6: was taking it back, amusing air quotes there.
• 38:38
  Speaker 7: Which bullshit, by the way.
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 38:40
  Speaker 6: That's just.
• 38:41
  Speaker 7: So, all right. So we've gotten Snake Plissken. Do we have...
• 38:45
  Speaker 7: Do you want to.
• 38:46
  Speaker 6: Is there any more to go into with him?
• 38:48
  Speaker 8: The Asian guy from every 80s movie, starting with Indiana Jones.
• 38:52
  Speaker 6: Long Duck Dong.
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: What was his name? It's weird. Everyone has such ridiculous names.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: I don't even remember what his was, but he is awesome.
• 38:59
  Speaker 7: Magic Mike.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: He is my favorite character.
• 39:02
  Speaker 10: He's got a slingshot.
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: He's got a microphone in his back pocket that somehow
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: magically has Bluetooth on every speaker.
• 39:08
  Speaker 8: KCDC.
• 39:10
  Speaker 6: And.
• 39:11
  Speaker 18: That's why he was on the back of his jacket.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: That's why he was on the back.
• 39:15
  Speaker 7: Of his jacket.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: KCDC.
• 39:17
  Speaker 6: And he's going to get sued because it looks just
• 39:19
  Speaker 6: like the ACDC. He's going to get sued for copyright.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: All right, we got 2, 4, 5, back, straight up.
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: Homie's about to beat it, and he's still hungry. Start
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: the fucking match.
• 39:44
  Speaker 6: And over here, we got this up and up, chrome dome,
• 39:49
  Speaker 6: making noise straight from the 2, 4, 8.
• 39:51
  Speaker 5: Been trading his shit under his legendary.
• 39:56
  Speaker 6: Big bro, motherfucking B-Beat, nigga, B-Pro.
• 39:59
  Speaker 11: B-Pro, you heard?
• 40:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah!
• 40:06
  Speaker 6: About well that's the thing i think as you like
• 40:11
  Speaker 6: went on and on about his microphone because you really
• 40:13
  Speaker 6: did kind of have a thing for his microphone i
• 40:15
  Speaker 6: love that i was like it's just again going back
• 40:18
  Speaker 6: they're going back even pre-80s it was just a mr
• 40:20
  Speaker 6: microphone he was just walking around hey baby i'll be
• 40:24
  Speaker 6: back to pick you up later.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: Like one point he pulled it out just to go
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: oh shit And then put it right back in his pocket.
• 40:30
  Speaker 10: Wouldn't you do that?
• 40:31
  Speaker 6: I mean, I tote these microphones around everywhere I go.
• 40:33
  Speaker 6: And quite often I pull it out and say shit
• 40:35
  Speaker 6: into them. They're not plugged in either. God forbid these
• 40:38
  Speaker 6: actually get made.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine being at the mall or anywhere with
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: teens if they could pull something out of their pocket
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: and make everyone hear them in stereo? I mean, it'd
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: be terrible.
• 40:49
  Speaker 8: I'm just going on record saying that the director of
• 40:51
  Speaker 8: this film, both his pictures on IMDb.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: Is he legitimately one-eyed?
• 40:56
  Speaker 8: He might only have one eye.
• 40:58
  Speaker 6: Oh my God, he's got, in IMDb, he has an eyepatch.
• 41:01
  Speaker 6: Even in his regular pictures, he might legit wear an eyepatch.
• 41:03
  Speaker 6: I think Wikipedia is necessary.
• 41:05
  Speaker 8: He may be the one I'd wonder we told.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: Why does it say Game of Thrones? Is he in
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: Game of, was he in, well, why was Game of
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: Thrones in the background there? Oh, dude, I've read the books.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: Who are you talking to? Who are you talking to?
• 41:17
  Speaker 8: He may be nailing a Game of Thrones male character.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: We don't know.
• 41:22
  Speaker 7: I like that blonde chick. Oh, wait, everybody in.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: America likes him. He's so dramatic looking.
• 41:27
  Speaker 6: He looks like he's from somebody.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: Spoiler, he dies in the first 10 minutes, but he
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: looks so, I don't know, there's something so regal and
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: kind of professional about every image of him.
• 41:38
  Speaker 6: It could be that glamour shot photo they were using, though,
• 41:41
  Speaker 6: that kind of just convinces you that maybe he really
• 41:44
  Speaker 6: is a real actor. Because that's probably where the entire
• 41:47
  Speaker 6: budget of that movie went, was they paid to have
• 41:49
  Speaker 6: professional headshots taken.
• 41:50
  Speaker 7: Of that guy.
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: Backs up my pilot theory. So they get this big
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: name actor to do this scene for the first five minutes,
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: which is like their pitch to everybody. Like, oh, we
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: want to make this movie. I told you, that's their
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: Kickstarter video. Yet he's not actually in the movie itself
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: because he dies in the first five minutes.
• 42:04
  Speaker 6: That first pre-credit scene, I'm like, that's their Kickstarter pitch
• 42:08
  Speaker 6: right there. They're just like, give us money. We'll make
• 42:10
  Speaker 6: the rest of this awesome.
• 42:12
  Speaker 8: Who says dies anymore? It's 187. It's 187. We dirt
• 42:14
  Speaker 8: nap around here.
• 42:23
  Speaker 6: Oh, and then we have the female lead, who I've
• 42:28
  Speaker 6: decided is just a slightly classier version of Courtney Love.
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 42:32
  Speaker 8: She is.
• 42:34
  Speaker 6: Catch up?
• 42:34
  Speaker 8: Have you ever seen a movie called Freeway?
• 42:39
  Speaker 10: Oh, my God.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: Is that Christina Applegate?
• 42:43
  Speaker 8: Reese Witherspoon.
• 42:44
  Speaker 6: She doesn't look anything like that.
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: Wait a minute.
• 42:45
  Speaker 6: No, no, no.
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: Oh, wait, that's when she's the hitchhiker chick, right?
• 42:49
  Speaker 6: I mean, the lifestyle's pretty accurate. Believe me, I live
• 42:53
  Speaker 6: and die by freeway. I like freeway a little more
• 42:55
  Speaker 6: than I need to.
• 42:56
  Speaker 8: Guaranteed. Keith or Sutherland, it's the best 24 hours I've
• 43:00
  Speaker 8: ever seen him in.
• 43:01
  Speaker 7: It's like, oh, I got that pun.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: That was good. That was good.
• 43:05
  Speaker 8: It's such a good pun.
• 43:07
  Speaker 7: Anyway, so, no, I mean, to me she is.
• 43:09
  Speaker 8: You were right with Kesha.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she reminds me of Kesha. She just needed to
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: be thrown glitter everywhere she went, and she would have
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: nailed it as Kesha.
• 43:15
  Speaker 8: Kesha thinks it's special.
• 43:17
  Speaker 6: Well, and then she, like, every outfit she has is
• 43:20
  Speaker 6: totally Jennifer Beal-ed up. You can't keep a shoulder on
• 43:23
  Speaker 6: that girl. Like, it is just out of control.
• 43:25
  Speaker 7: It is so 80s.
• 43:26
  Speaker 8: And love me her father. You want to?
• 43:31
  Speaker 6: Again?
• 43:32
  Speaker 8: Come dumpster, baby getter.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: Was it Child Dumpster? Is that what he called it?
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: Child Dumpster at some point?
• 43:40
  Speaker 6: As he came busting out of the trailer, I was like,
• 43:41
  Speaker 6: I hung out with that dude. Go back, listen to
• 43:44
  Speaker 6: the Amazing Spider-Man episode. You will hear her father go
• 43:48
  Speaker 6: on and on about how that's not a very good movie.
• 43:51
  Speaker 7: That was just our take on it.
• 43:52
  Speaker 6: All right, what else have we forgotten about?
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: I need to buy a broken microphone just to keep
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: my back pocket, just so I can pretend. People look
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: at me like I'm crazy when I pull it out
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: and say something in it, but... Here we go, ninja.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: I'm on the radio. In the crib of the home
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: in the fray. Well, I mean, that's the thing.
• 44:11
  Speaker 6: I'm still trying to figure out this world. Like, what
• 44:13
  Speaker 6: is this world that they live in? Like, is there
• 44:16
  Speaker 6: still America? Because your boy's wearing American flags all over
• 44:20
  Speaker 6: him the whole time.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: By the end, he's singing the national anthem.
• 44:25
  Speaker 8: Definitely the government is gone.
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: The way the family owns the liquor stores, it's like
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: liquor is only attainable through this family. It's like, what's
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: going on? What's going on in this world?
• 44:36
  Speaker 8: If we don't have liquor, then we don't have bums.
• 44:40
  Speaker 8: And if you ain't got bums, what do you have?
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: There's no one to feed the ducks. And if there's
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: no one to feed the ducks, there's no ducks in
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: the park. How's a Nick supposed to get his shit straight?
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: Without no motherfucking ducks? In the motherfucking parks?
• 44:59
  Speaker 8: On the motherfucking plane.
• 45:02
  Speaker 6: And that's why people can't get their shit straight now. Hollow.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: I want that shirt the worst way. And no one
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: would get it. I would look like a complete idiot.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: Which isn't any different from every other day. But I
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: would look even idiot-ish. in my three-dog shirt.
• 45:18
  Speaker 8: If you wore it at Hot Topic for a day tops,
• 45:23
  Speaker 8: 13-year-olds everywhere would be sweating it.
• 45:27
  Speaker 6: See, you can't wear it in the real world because
• 45:29
  Speaker 6: you'll just look like a hipster doofus, but you wear
• 45:31
  Speaker 6: it to a movie geek convention, somebody will recognize it.
• 45:36
  Speaker 6: They are so hardcore.
• 45:37
  Speaker 8: Is that Art Suze's shirt from FB?
• 45:39
  Speaker 6: Somebody will call you out.
• 45:42
  Speaker 17: Casey, DC.
• 45:44
  Speaker 6: They will hug you when they see it. They'll be like,
• 45:46
  Speaker 6: that's the greatest thing ever.
• 45:47
  Speaker 13: Oh, hug her, bro.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: I did see a photo of one person cosplayed as
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: someone from the FP at Comic-Con or something last year
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: in Chicago.
• 45:56
  Speaker 6: See, there's always somebody.
• 45:58
  Speaker 8: The guy that dies in the first eight minutes.
• 46:00
  Speaker 6: There's always somebody.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the LCD belt buckle and everything.
• 46:05
  Speaker 8: It was one of the main singers from Tron.
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: I can do that. I don't look Asian, but I
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: don't grow a mustache. Get a slingshot, a microphone, LCD
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: belt buckle, and Get that blinged out KCDC vest.
• 46:18
  Speaker 7: We got stuff coming up this year. You start planning it.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: We got a Wizard World, don't we? We will make
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: the- Wizard World is coming to Louisville.
• 46:25
  Speaker 8: We should cosplay hard this year.
• 46:27
  Speaker 6: I'm going to be at half these events, so you
• 46:30
  Speaker 6: just come in cosplay.
• 46:31
  Speaker 8: I have a professional Peppakura friend.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: What's Peppakura?
• 46:35
  Speaker 8: You don't know what Peppakura is?
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: I do not know what Peppakura is.
• 46:38
  Speaker 6: You- That's one of those fancy drinks you get at
• 46:40
  Speaker 6: Christmas time at the coffee shop.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: Sounds like a peppermint manicure, like a minty manicure.
• 46:45
  Speaker 8: Motherfucker claims that he's a motherfucking geek, don't even know
• 46:48
  Speaker 8: what Peppa motherfucking Coor is. Peppa Coor is the art of...
• 46:53
  Speaker 8: So some motherfucker back in the day built a program
• 46:56
  Speaker 8: that you basically upload images to, and it finds a
• 47:01
  Speaker 8: way of printing them two-dimensionally, but with 3D form, i.e.,
• 47:07
  Speaker 8: hear me out on this if I can make enough
• 47:08
  Speaker 8: sense of it, an origami style cut it out based
• 47:13
  Speaker 8: on dotted lines to then build armor, weapons, or anything
• 47:19
  Speaker 8: from a sci-fi fantasy world. So say, let's use a
• 47:22
  Speaker 8: very simple example, the Iron Man costume. You can print
• 47:27
  Speaker 8: the entire thing out two-dimensionally on paper, cut it out,
• 47:32
  Speaker 8: fold it into shapes, and then they tell you how
• 47:36
  Speaker 8: to paint I don't know, some magic glue on it,
• 47:39
  Speaker 8: you know, whatever. And then paint it in a certain
• 47:42
  Speaker 8: way that it ends up looking very legit. This is
• 47:44
  Speaker 8: something you can Google. This is something you can find.
• 47:47
  Speaker 8: This is something you can do. In fact, somewhere around here.
• 47:52
  Speaker 6: I think he's issuing you a challenge.
• 47:53
  Speaker 8: I have Saiyan armor around here somewhere. The Vegeta series,
• 47:59
  Speaker 8: series one Dragon Ball Z Saiyan armor.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: Do you have the scouter?
• 48:03
  Speaker 8: I need the scouter. No, because everything's over 9,000 at
• 48:06
  Speaker 8: that point anyway. So I'm pretty much good to go.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: You know, there's actually a translation issue with that. You know,
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: in the original manga, Toriyama has them saying over 8,000.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: But in the English, we had them say over 9,000.
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: So the fact that that became a huge meme is
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: sort of this weird irony because it's actually translated wrong.
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: So it's actually over 8,000. Sorry. Pushing up the glasses.
• 48:30
  Speaker 6: Geek alert.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: So much for it. levels of geekdom. I thought it
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: was at the right place.
• 48:38
  Speaker 6: Oh, you are? That's why I'm throwing out the geek alert.
• 48:40
  Speaker 6: Not everybody has the geek alert. It's only someone who
• 48:44
  Speaker 6: embraces the geekdom.
• 48:46
  Speaker 8: You've never seen this kind of thing where they build it?
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, Jesus. That looks rad.
• 48:50
  Speaker 8: They'll build it. It's a program. You put whatever you
• 48:54
  Speaker 8: want into it. That's a Pokemon. Charizard or whoever. But
• 48:57
  Speaker 8: then they end up looking like it first. So you
• 49:02
  Speaker 8: cut them out. And then you build the entire armor
• 49:04
  Speaker 8: or whatever out of it. Paint on glue. And then
• 49:08
  Speaker 8: it hardens. And then it's like steel. It's like super hard.
• 49:13
  Speaker 8: And then you like paint whatever colors you want. Um,
• 49:16
  Speaker 8: my best friend in the world made iron Patriot and
• 49:21
  Speaker 8: then made, what's a, is iron Patriot one Captain America
• 49:24
  Speaker 8: wears it in the ultimate comics.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: I thought it was when Harry Osborn wore it. Wasn't
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: that the weird twist? I thought it was a Spider-Man thing.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: Didn't Harry Osborn wear Iron Patriot? I thought that was
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: the thing.
• 49:37
  Speaker 8: Oh, here's your boy. You love the Nazgul.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: That's pretty rad. Dude, anything Tolkien is like instant wood.
• 49:46
  Speaker 7: No, you tell me you broke it earlier.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: I don't want to say sting or anything. It doesn't
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: glow in the dark, but.
• 49:53
  Speaker 6: Can I make my cat wear battle armor?
• 49:55
  Speaker 8: Because only you.
• 49:58
  Speaker 6: Will love this.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: You got to see the show.
• 50:00
  Speaker 8: Like, yeah, I've got, I've got this somewhere. This is
• 50:02
  Speaker 8: the digital.
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 50:05
  Speaker 8: This is total geekdom right here. That guy is a winner.
• 50:12
  Speaker 8: They make, um, the best one I've ever seen though
• 50:14
  Speaker 8: is because it took my friend, I think like 3,600
• 50:17
  Speaker 8: hours to make the Iron Man costume and, You could.
• 50:21
  Speaker 6: Just build it out of metal in that time.
• 50:23
  Speaker 8: He wore it to Comic Con in San Diego. And
• 50:26
  Speaker 8: I went as just the piece in the middle.
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: Just the Tony Stark.
• 50:32
  Speaker 6: So you went all out is what you're saying.
• 50:34
  Speaker 8: He wore the whole thing. Had trouble walking in it
• 50:37
  Speaker 8: because it was so complicated. And then somebody rolled up
• 50:40
  Speaker 8: with a Pokeball. And the Pokeball, everybody was like, oh,
• 50:43
  Speaker 8: fucking Pokeball. This is the best thing ever. He's like,
• 50:46
  Speaker 8: it's actually mechanical and the faceplate closes. And they're like,
• 50:51
  Speaker 8: but he's got a Pokeball.
• 50:52
  Speaker 7: He's got a Pokeball.
• 50:54
  Speaker 6: And then it was all trumped because a girl in
• 50:56
  Speaker 6: almost no skirt walked by.
• 50:57
  Speaker 7: They were like, that girl!
• 50:59
  Speaker 6: And they ran away.
• 50:59
  Speaker 8: Karen dressed up as Vader de los Muertos.
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: Did I show you pictures of that?
• 51:05
  Speaker 16: Nice.
• 51:06
  Speaker 8: It's going to take me a while to find it.
• 51:08
  Speaker 8: I got to show you pictures of Karen as Vader.
• 51:10
  Speaker 8: Vader de los Muertos.
• 51:12
  Speaker 7: I like this already.
• 51:13
  Speaker 8: Karen is my Filipino wife.
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: I whore her out at comedy.
• 51:17
  Speaker 6: She's not just your wife.
• 51:20
  Speaker 8: She's so much more. It's going to take me so
• 51:23
  Speaker 8: long to find this. I can't even type straight.
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: He is so drunk.
• 51:29
  Speaker 8: I got drunk during the FP.
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: You know you want to watch that movie again. You
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: know you're going to watch that movie again. It's a thing.
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: You know, at some point, when you have some people over,
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: you're going to be like, I got the perfect thing.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: I got the perfect thing for tonight.
• 51:42
  Speaker 6: Or it'll be more like, you motherfuckers have pissed me off.
• 51:45
  Speaker 7: I got something you can watch. Sit down.
• 51:48
  Speaker 6: You're watching this.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: Seriously, though. Honest opinions here.
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: Enjoyed it?
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: Didn't enjoy it? It's ridiculous? What do you got there?
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: You're not going to offend me. Seriously, I think it's ridiculous,
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: but awesome.
• 51:58
  Speaker 8: As long as Dave Lugo doesn't notice that I was
• 52:00
  Speaker 8: asleep through half of it, I enjoyed it so much.
• 52:04
  Speaker 6: I noticed you weren't making the snide comments that I was,
• 52:06
  Speaker 6: so I figured you probably dozed off at some point,
• 52:09
  Speaker 6: but See, that's the thing. I think there is, and I've, again,
• 52:14
  Speaker 6: this is half the mission of the show, I think,
• 52:16
  Speaker 6: is finding legitimacy in every movie. Like, I think there's
• 52:21
  Speaker 6: something to take from almost anything. And, like, I think
• 52:25
  Speaker 6: it gets more the worse the movie gets.
• 52:30
  Speaker 8: Don't let this shit put your brain on flips. You
• 52:32
  Speaker 8: gotta think of beat-beat revelation like it was the Civil War.
• 52:35
  Speaker 17: What?
• 52:36
  Speaker 4: Four score and a couple of years ago, Ma and
• 52:37
  Speaker 4: Pa fought for some serious shit.
• 52:39
  Speaker 6: You heard?
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: The challenge is up in this motherfucker, Jatro.
• 52:42
  Speaker 4: Now is the time.
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: All these carpet-bagging, butt-bucking bitches from the 245 and us
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: from the 248.
• 52:48
  Speaker 7: We gots to be ready for anything. That's why we
• 52:50
  Speaker 7: gots to get each other's backs.
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: To the end, aight?
• 52:52
  Speaker 4: Man, I.
• 52:56
  Speaker 7: Could never be all up and playing this shit if
• 52:58
  Speaker 7: it weren't for you.
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: I think when you get into.
• 53:03
  Speaker 6: Those epic bad There's just some amazing level that opens
• 53:29
  Speaker 6: up that, like, it's euphoric. You're just like, I cannot
• 53:32
  Speaker 6: believe how bad this is, and I'm loving it. Yeah,
• 53:38
  Speaker 6: and not everybody has that mode. I've realized that because
• 53:41
  Speaker 6: I try to tell people that.
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: It's such a hard line. It's such a hard line
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: to walk because there's... Like I said, me personally, I
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: don't enjoy really any of the trauma stuff because it's
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: so bad that it's just bad to me. And I'm
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: just like, oh, this is just bad.
• 53:54
  Speaker 6: There's a middle level.
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: But there's a way to do it in a way
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: where it's like, oh my God, this is so great
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: in its badness.
• 54:00
  Speaker 7: It is a fine line.
• 54:02
  Speaker 6: It's definitely a fine line within people because you can
• 54:05
  Speaker 6: almost tell the people that are going to get it
• 54:07
  Speaker 6: and that aren't. And I just don't even sell it anymore.
• 54:09
  Speaker 6: I'm not like, oh, this is hilarious. You should watch
• 54:11
  Speaker 6: it because I know these.
• 54:12
  Speaker 7: Are normal people.
• 54:13
  Speaker 6: They're not going to appreciate this on the level that
• 54:16
  Speaker 6: you do. It's just you get to a point where
• 54:18
  Speaker 6: you face that, hopefully.
• 54:19
  Speaker 8: And that's why God made the slogan, fuck them.
• 54:24
  Speaker 6: No, I think that's why we invented podcasts. Because the
• 54:28
  Speaker 6: geeks gather around the podcast and we all talk about
• 54:31
  Speaker 6: the same horrible movies. And we love them and we
• 54:33
  Speaker 6: love talking about them. And then the rest of the
• 54:35
  Speaker 6: people go watch the news or whatever. reality television or
• 54:40
  Speaker 6: something horrible to dumb their brain a little more.
• 54:43
  Speaker 8: By the rest of people who you mean the total
• 54:45
  Speaker 8: population of the earth minus four.
• 54:47
  Speaker 6: Yes but the coolest four people you'll ever meet there
• 54:51
  Speaker 6: you go so i don't know i mean there's definitely
• 54:53
  Speaker 6: that fine line but i think even within the films
• 54:56
  Speaker 6: i think you're right like that's the thing i don't
• 54:58
  Speaker 6: really like most drama movies either because i think they're
• 55:01
  Speaker 6: very self-aware i think they're trying to make a bad
• 55:04
  Speaker 6: movie and usually you just end up making a bad
• 55:07
  Speaker 6: movie when you do that but like if you're unaware
• 55:10
  Speaker 6: of it, there's a level of genius that comes out.
• 55:14
  Speaker 8: If you think you're making a good movie.
• 55:16
  Speaker 6: If you think you're making an amazing film, like you've
• 55:19
  Speaker 6: convinced yourself. I mean, it's like the fucking room. Like
• 55:23
  Speaker 6: you could not have convinced that guy he was making
• 55:25
  Speaker 6: a terrible movie. He is in his own universe. He
• 55:28
  Speaker 6: thinks it's fucking amazing. Like now I think he's had
• 55:32
  Speaker 6: to come to terms with it because everybody laughs through
• 55:34
  Speaker 6: the entire thing. But like, On the set, there's no
• 55:37
  Speaker 6: way you could have convinced him that this wasn't Oscar-worthy.
• 55:41
  Speaker 6: He was delusional. And I think you almost need that
• 55:44
  Speaker 6: going into him. You need to be making this... That's
• 55:47
  Speaker 6: why I don't know what this one is. With the FP,
• 55:51
  Speaker 6: it's like they had to be aware. Like, they're doing
• 55:54
  Speaker 6: it now.
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: Like I said, it felt like it was such a
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: blatant homage to the 80s movies. Specifically breaking. Specifically breaking.
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: It was such an obvious homage.
• 56:04
  Speaker 6: Yeah, kind of everything.
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: That I felt like any badness, it was understood. We're
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: going to do this bad in that 80s kind of way.
• 56:12
  Speaker 8: They live.
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 56:14
  Speaker 6: Them.
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: A little bit of first blood in there.
• 56:16
  Speaker 5: Rocky.
• 56:17
  Speaker 6: Karate Kid. You name it. Every little piece of that stuff.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: The music itself, it's all old school synthesizer kind of stuff.
• 56:24
  Speaker 8: This movie is brilliant.
• 56:27
  Speaker 6: But that's the thing. This is almost like the weird
• 56:30
  Speaker 6: loophole in this plan because they have to be aware
• 56:32
  Speaker 6: of it. And somehow they made one that doesn't seem
• 56:36
  Speaker 6: so self-aware that you hate it the entire time. Like
• 56:39
  Speaker 6: they made this weird little area.
• 56:40
  Speaker 8: You don't know, but they are so self-aware they're basically Skynet.
• 56:45
  Speaker 6: They've looped back around to the point that, well, I
• 56:47
  Speaker 6: think that's what saves it because they're unflinching in their drama.
• 56:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 56:53
  Speaker 6: They're delivering the worst dialogue ever put to a computer screen.
• 56:58
  Speaker 6: I will never make Beat Revolution again. They're saying shit
• 57:02
  Speaker 6: like that, and they are totally committed. I'm like, you
• 57:05
  Speaker 6: don't normally get that in that level of movie.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: A man named BLT.
• 57:09
  Speaker 6: I mean, they're constantly in these bad movies where they
• 57:12
  Speaker 6: know they're bad. They're winking at the camera. They're putting
• 57:14
  Speaker 6: in these little jokes that are very obvious that they're
• 57:16
  Speaker 6: stupid jokes.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: Squeezing boobies in the background.
• 57:18
  Speaker 6: This, I mean, this, like, they're all so committed. Like,
• 57:21
  Speaker 6: they all really think they're making a serious movie in
• 57:24
  Speaker 6: the 80s.
• 57:24
  Speaker 8: Okay, guys, okay, guys, okay, guys. I got an idea
• 57:27
  Speaker 8: for a movie.
• 57:27
  Speaker 6: Oh, God.
• 57:28
  Speaker 8: Okay, here we go. We're gonna, okay, here we go.
• 57:30
  Speaker 8: Fourth wall? Is it third wall or fourth wall? Fourth wall?
• 57:32
  Speaker 8: Fourth wall.
• 57:33
  Speaker 6: Fuck it.
• 57:33
  Speaker 7: Fourth wall.
• 57:34
  Speaker 8: Fuck it. Just fuck the fourth wall. That's what we're
• 57:36
  Speaker 8: going to do.
• 57:36
  Speaker 6: Fuck it.
• 57:37
  Speaker 8: You want to fuck this in the 90s or the 80s?
• 57:39
  Speaker 6: 80s?
• 57:39
  Speaker 8: Okay, well, fuck it. That was the pitch for this film.
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: Oh, God.
• 57:46
  Speaker 10: I do want a sequel.
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: I want the FP electric... I don't even know. Some
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: way to spoof off Boogaloo. Electric Duckaloo. I don't even know. Somehow,
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: I want part two. I want a prequel. I want
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: to know how he lost his eye.
• 58:05
  Speaker 8: More 80s movies starting with the Karate Kid.
• 58:08
  Speaker 6: All of them.
• 58:08
  Speaker 8: Just every 80s movie. Back to the Future, Karate Kid,
• 58:12
  Speaker 8: some Indiana Jones, maybe even a little Return of the Jedi.
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: I want it all.
• 58:17
  Speaker 8: And it needs to be set up like the main
• 58:20
  Speaker 8: emphasis of the film needs to be the Breakfast Club.
• 58:24
  Speaker 11: I'm all for that.
• 58:26
  Speaker 6: Well, okay, so you get Like, again, you get that epic, like,
• 58:30
  Speaker 6: opening scene. Like, again, we were, like, halfway into this
• 58:33
  Speaker 6: big battle they're having. Like, is this movie almost over? It's, like,
• 58:36
  Speaker 6: three minutes in. Are we almost done? And then, like,
• 58:38
  Speaker 6: the credits come up. And you're like, oh, shit, this
• 58:41
  Speaker 6: hadn't even started yet. We have 80 minutes left of
• 58:45
  Speaker 6: this bullshit. And then it cuts to, like, again, we're
• 58:50
  Speaker 6: in this questionable future. So it's like, wait, in the
• 58:53
  Speaker 6: lumberjack future where everyone works with trees?
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 58:57
  Speaker 6: Where does he go? Like, it's just like he leaves
• 59:00
  Speaker 6: the whatever 509 or 786 or whatever area code they
• 59:06
  Speaker 6: live in. He leaves it all behind and he heads
• 59:08
  Speaker 6: out to be a lumberjack. or something like that I
• 59:11
  Speaker 6: don't know I was just like I was confused by
• 59:13
  Speaker 6: that like where is that.
• 59:15
  Speaker 8: Part of the world country Logan.
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: Canadian we ride together we die together bad boys for.
• 59:23
  Speaker 8: Life TM.
• 59:27
  Speaker 6: So, yeah, I don't know. I don't know what to
• 59:30
  Speaker 6: do with that weird future.
• 59:30
  Speaker 8: Michael Bay was pissed by this movie. We have to
• 59:33
  Speaker 8: admit that fact. He was mad that he didn't think
• 59:36
  Speaker 8: about it.
• 59:37
  Speaker 6: It would have gotten worse if he weren't involved.
• 59:38
  Speaker 8: I'm going to put so many explosions in this film.
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: Oh, God. I loathe Michael Bay. Let's not talk about
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: Michael Bay.
• 59:48
  Speaker 8: Watch the Transformers movies and don't think they're pretty.
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: I watched the first one in theaters and was that
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: guy that heckled it out loud and pretty much dared anyone...
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: to say something to me.
• 59:59
  Speaker 7: Are you guys disagreeing?
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: Like, when they were, when the boy, when Megan Fox
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: fixed the car, you know, lifted up the hood, fixed
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: the car, and said something, one of them said something about,
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: you know, there's more than meets the eye to me.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm done. I fucking hate this movie. Like,
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: I cannot, oh my God. See, I.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 8: Think what lets me enjoy life is when I see
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 8: shit like that, I back off a little bit and say, hey,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 8: Megan Fox, I like tits. Who doesn't like tits? Oh, look,
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 8: a robot.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: There was no tits in Transformers.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 8: It doesn't matter, man. It doesn't matter. Gotta enjoy what's there.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: Did you watch Transformers after school in the 80s? That's
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: a yes or no question.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 8: I wasn't cognitive in the 80s.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: Well, then there you go.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 8: I watched Transformers reruns in the 90s.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: What's something you love? What's something you love?
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 7: You love Jet Li, right?
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: Don't you love Jet Li? Imagine if we did... a
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: movie about Jet Li's life and we casted who could
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: we cast as Jet Li that would infuriate you who's
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: some white dude some white dude Channing Tatum Channing Tatum
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: is cast as Jet Li they dye his hair black
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: and I mean and there we go directed by Michael
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: Bay and instead of Fist of Legend it's like Hand
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: of Legend This would be explosions.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 7: Are you guys disagreeing? Are we going to have to
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 7: have a beat-off?
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: A beat-off?
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 8: In this dark room? Walk into this dark room and
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 8: have a beat-off?
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 7: The fact that they worked that into this film is.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 8: I love how the training montage really wasn't even training
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 8: for the actual event.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 6: It was just random bits of training montage.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: Why was he lifting weights and doing his abs? What
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: does that have to do with stomping it out?
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 8: Let's not talk about how awesome the ab flex is.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 6: Let's talk about how old school he got when he
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 6: was going through the tires, man.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 7: I mean.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 8: And the next one in the sequel, they need to
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 8: bring in Bloodsport.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 3: Ooh.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 8: Fuck yeah, Bloodsport's where it is.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: They can do like DDR on like broken glasses on
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: the pads so their feet are all bleeding the whole
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: time they're doing it.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 8: And Kickboxer, you bleed like a Mei Ling. That's the
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 8: best one. Only Jean-Claude Van Damme could love that.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: Or we could do like Enter the Dragon. Ooh, do
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: like Enter the Dragon, but instead of like a tournament,
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: it's like, you know, Dance Dance Revolution tournament. Like they're all,
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: and Bolo is like all like knocking it out.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 8: Yeah, they fly him to an island. He has to compete.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 8: There's a woman. She gets raped.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: Why does she have to get raped?
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 7: That seems uncalled for.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: It's the 80s.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 8: They get raped.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 7: It did happen.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 8: Okay, fine. It's contemporary. They go to Russia. They fly
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 8: to Russia, and there's a guy, and he gets raped.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 6: I don't like either of these options.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 8: Suck it, Sochi.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 6: I'm going to my own island. I'm buying me an island,
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 6: by the way.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: That's fine.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 6: I've already picked one out. Anyway, let's go in a
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 6: dark room and have a beat off. That's what they do.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 6: Come on, we're going to go have a beat off.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 7: And they go in a dark room.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 6: And then one guy's climbing on the other guy's back
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 6: and they're riding up and down. Oh, wait, he was
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 6: just doing push-ups or lunges? What was he doing with
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 6: that dude on his back?
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: He was doing DDR with him all Yoda-style, like, on
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: his back. He was, like, piggybacking him while he was doing.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 6: He didn't even have a cool backpack for him.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 8: A Frank Oz backpack?
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 6: I would keep Frank.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: Oz in a backpack.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 6: But, I mean, dude just has a bad knee, or what? Because, like,
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 6: every once in a while, he just, oh, he just
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 6: horribly topple, like, out of nowhere, like, the opening.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 8: I don't think you understand the 80s.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 6: They all had bad knees.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 8: You know, there's joint pain.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 6: No, I think I'm having that now. I'm in my 80s, so,
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 6: you know, it's starting to get rough trying to, you know,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 6: do my DDR. Beep, beep. Oh.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 7: No, I'm not.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: Beat, beat, revelation.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 4: I'm not.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 8: I keep forgetting that it's revelation.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 6: Until beat, beat, revelation.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: They made sure they didn't cross any trademark.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 6: Oh, yeah.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: Beat, beat, revelation.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 6: Well, I knew they were on the Let's Protect Ourselves
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 6: game when they put the duct tape on her T-shirt.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 6: I was like, oh, somebody does not want to get sued.
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 8: Here we go. In the next one, instead of they're
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 8: knocking off DDR with BBAR, it's they're knocking off Space
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 8: Channel 5. Astro... What was it again?
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 10: Selection 4. Something.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: Astro.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: What's something else for channel?
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: Frequency.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: Astro Frequency 4.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 8: That would be beautiful.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: And I would watch it.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 8: And I would probably go out and try to find
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 8: a Dreamcast again.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 6: So you could play Seaman.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: Dreamcast was a great system.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 8: Seaman was awesome.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: You're going to pull a tear.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 8: I'm going to pull a tear.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: That's where I met Phantasy Star Online.
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 3: Oh, God.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: And played it to the point where my disc drive
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: would not spin a disc anymore. I put well over
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: 250 hours into that. Pushing the glasses up.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 6: Hit the alert. And we've killed Patrick.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 10: Y'all are fucking pitiful.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 6: I didn't play any Dreamcast.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 7: Leave me out of this.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: I'm pitiful, but give.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 6: Me my own reason, damn it.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: See? That was the creepiest thing.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 6: That really was. That's what I said. Because if you
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 6: slow it down, it's semen. Really? So you're going to
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 6: go up to the counter and say, give me some semen.
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 6: And not want.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 10: To be laughed at.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go train my semen now. I'm going
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: to go talk to my semen now.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 8: His face was so creepy.
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 6: It was creepy on so many levels.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 8: It was basically an uncircumcised fish.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 6: That's kosher.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 8: No, it's not kosher. Absolutely not kosher. If it was kosher,
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 8: it'd be circumcised.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 4: Oh, Lord.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 8: And probably own a bank. We're getting back to racism.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 8: But racism sells. Just ask Hollywood. Motherfucker. Ninja. This whole
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 8: movie was based on racism.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it kind of was, actually. Misguided racist.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: You know where the word picnic comes from?
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 10: Go on.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 11: Oh, God.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: Look it up. I don't feel like getting into it.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: Look that up. You will be thoroughly offended and you
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: will never use the word picnic again.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 6: Even for picnic baskets?
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: I promise you.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 8: I don't know, Yogi. Dave Lugo says picnic's a racist term.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 6: Boo-boo.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 8: Get your ass out there and get that picnic basket.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 7: Don't let the ranger catch you.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 8: We get off tangent so easily.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 7: Do we, you think?
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: It's just like being a sun ghost. I mean, that place.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 6: That one place. Okay.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 8: That we cannot name.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 6: Let's break off of this insanity and go into a
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 6: new level of insanity and talk about digging for a rag.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 6: what may be the most puzzling scene in this labyrinth
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 6: of a movie.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 8: I think it adds depth to KCDC because not only
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 8: does he have a magic microphone, I mean, he literally
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 8: pulls the microphone out of his pants and is in stereo,
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 8: but only seconds before this girl is dicking in a
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 8: playground for a tampon, KCDC hands the main character a tampon,
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 8: showing that he may not only be telekinetic, but at
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 8: least psychic. At least.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: Or just a ladies' man.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 6: Which, well, I mean, possibility, but I think it leads.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 8: Us into this is a Marvel movie. And this could
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 8: be a precursor to Days of Future Past.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 3: Now, is.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 6: I mean... doesn't he say, like, isn't the line something like,
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 6: I know how it is sometimes. And then hands him that.
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 6: It was something to that effect. Like, I know how
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 6: it is sometimes.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 8: And we don't know what the future has in store.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 8: This might be a man pun.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, like I said, you're not going to
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: convince me that anything in this movie is bad. But
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: they're at a playground he's just kind of kicking it
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: on the swing she's just stabbing at the sand with
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: the stick and we.
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 6: Get to my favorite line what are you making a
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 6: sandcastle or something right.
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: And she just nonchalantly no i'm looking for a rag
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: sometimes i can find some in here and then he's
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: just like oh wait i'm gonna say i just had
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: a tampon given to me moments ago and she's so
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: stoked that he's got a tampon i mean.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 6: That part i guess like that's a pretty understandable i
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 6: mean yeah i When you need, you need.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 8: You added up. Tampons are an investment.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 6: But why digging in the same.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 8: You don't know what city they live in.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 10: I know.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 6: It's 789, but I mean, I guess shit's hard in
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 6: the 789. I'm gonna look up what area you could.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: You own Man of Steel... You gave them money. You're
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: part of the problem, Patrick. You are part of the problem.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know. What other random crap?
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 3: I mean.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: You mean awesome crap?
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 6: Well, then we get to, like, the big dramatic scene
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 6: where he.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: The beat-off.
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 7: The big beat-off at the end.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 6: After we already had the montage and the half of
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 6: other montage, and then while we're dealing with weird random items....
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about the condom.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 3: Oh, my gosh.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: At two points.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 4: At two points.
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 6: Why is there a condom being thrown at people?
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: For no good reason. You know, and here's the thing.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: When it hits, when it hits old boy the first
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: time pushing the car, in a way, you almost go, wait,
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: was that what I thought it was?
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: Because it kind of, and then just goes out of screen.
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: You're like, oh, wow, I think that was. But when
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: it gets the white Mr. T dude, there is splatter. Like,
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: there is a splatter effect. It like, You see drippage
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: on the mustache and chops. There is a splatter effect
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: there that is just like, oh my God.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 6: Again, what I don't get, why that? Why at that moment?
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 6: And most importantly, why is anyone wandering around with that?
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: Did you see the girls in this movie?
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 6: I'm not saying you don't need to use them. You
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 6: certainly need to use them, but you don't really need
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 6: to hang on to them. For a good occasion later
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 6: to dispose of it.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 8: Man, I got this thing. I just got done here.
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 8: I know that white Mr. T dude's outside.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 6: I could just throw it away, but I'm going to
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 6: hold on to this.
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: I'll find a good time. Guys, when you're done, just
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: kind of tie off the top. Keep it in your
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: pocket for later. You never know when you need a
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: nice little semen water balloon to throw at somebody.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 8: In the middle of the night when I'm trying to
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 8: get some stinky on my hang low, this is the
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 8: last thing I'm thinking of.
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 6: That was a piece of dialogue from the movie, I believe.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 8: It's a piece of dialogue from life.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 6: I don't know. I didn't know what to do with
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 6: that altogether. Then that, I mean, in between that, then
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 6: you're heading to the big beat off at the end.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 6: And he stops by to visit his brother. Right after he,
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 6: what did I say? Stopped by the Halloween Express on
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 6: the way there to pick up that wonderful headstone that
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 6: his brother had.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: Do you remember when you went to the swimming pool
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: as a kid and you get the little foamy kind
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: of board if you were too little to hold on to?
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: It looked like one of those partially buried into some
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: dirt and spray painted.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 6: It's black. Not even gray. It's not like it was
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 6: actually marble or something.
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 7: It was just spray painted black.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 8: Sorry that you motherfuckers have money and in Superfuture Detroit
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 8: Bay and got shit.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 6: Hey, I am not even going to get a kickboard
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 6: when I die. So I'll just be buried in the
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 6: yard with random pets that I throw back there.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 8: Probably just board up the house and leave us in there.
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 6: Oh, it needs to be boarded up now. If you
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 6: go in there, just stick to the hoarder's path.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 7: You'll be fine.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: So where else?
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 2: Five stars.
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 6: Hey, that's some Abe Lincoln shit right there. How are
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 6: you putting up with that?
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: David gives it five stars. Four score and a couple
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: days ago. Five stars.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 8: This movie's so awful.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 6: Why are you bleeping? I don't understand.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: There's so much of it.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 8: It not only didn't have a budget, but they gave
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 8: me money to watch it.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 6: Well, I mean, there's just, there's moments that, again, they
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 6: have to be aware. Like, they're firing guns at each
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 6: other after the big beat-off, and the dude is hiding
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 6: behind a toilet, and.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 7: It's stopping the bullets.
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: They specifically put like the ricochet flashes on porcelain that
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 1: these bullets cannot pierce this toilet bowl.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 6: And the one time the one dude's just like firing
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 6: a shotgun is he not.
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah he like shoots like eight times like it's.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 6: Like so that shotgun won't go through the lid of
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 6: that toilet is what you're telling me you don't know
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 6: what that toilet's made.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 7: Of magical toilet i swear.
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 8: Motherfucker has a motherfucking microphone he puts on motherfucking pants
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 8: and motherfucking stereo.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 6: And a motherfucking toilet that stops motherfucking bullets. I want
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 6: this version of Dance Dance Revolution. I want this FP
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 6: special edition version of Dance Dance Revolution that calls you whack.
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: What was all the other stuff that's said on the screen?
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: I know some of it I really don't feel appropriate repeating.
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 7: Some of those don't really need to be there.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: But there was a lot of insults on there.
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 7: I do want one that tells me to chill every
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 7: once in a while.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when it's end up the score and it's just chill.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: We need a 1A7 mode. We need a DDR pad
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 1: that's hooked up to a thousand volts or something to
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 1: where your foot is cuffed to the pad somehow where
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: you can't leave and the loser gets an electric shock.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 8: And a DDR pad to the next comic convention. And
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 8: whoever recognizes it, they win.
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, yes. We need fencing cage kind of material.
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: Two DDR pads, some monitor that we just spray paint
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: to look ghetto as fuck. We need someone who can
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 1: look Asian to announce every duel.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 6: I'll have a microphone.
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 1: He has to sing the national anthem.
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 3: Badly.
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 1: Very badly.
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 7: But everybody sings badly.
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 1: With lots of language and say that it's the cribs
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: of the home. Was it the cribs of the free
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: and the brave or whatever?
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 11: Something like that.
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 6: Yeah. That was right before they went into the cage match.
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 6: Do you need a cage around you when you're playing DDR?
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 8: Yes, absolutely.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 6: And that's why I'm like, what kind of difference does
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 6: that make? You put a cage around them as they
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 6: stand and dance in place.
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: What?
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 6: Again, there's not someone very self-aware of how stupid that is,
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 6: and that's why they put it in there.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 8: You know, I think... What's sad about this is for
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 8: the movie Meltdown, this is the blackest movie that's ever
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 8: been reviewed.
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 7: No, it's not.
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 8: And there's not a single black person in the film.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 6: Oh, I thought you meant just the dark days of
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 6: movie Meltdown. I was like, no. No, we have watched
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 6: way worse movies than this.
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 8: I thought at first Brian was remembering one.
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, God, that Halloween one was way worse, in my opinion.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: We had one last time. That, I almost, no, what
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: was the name of that one?
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 7: Santa's Little Helper?
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: Satan's Little Helper.
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 7: Is rough.
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 6: We followed that. See, you lucked out. We followed that
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 6: with Mama Dracula. We had a one-two punch that would
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 6: take down most regular people. If we weren't fucking hardcore
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 6: on this show, we would never be able to watch
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 6: movies again after those two movies in a row.
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 8: I've never even heard of Mama Dracula.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 10: Nobody has.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 6: It's that fucking horrible.
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 1: It's so bad.
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 8: Satan's Little Helper is awful.
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 6: It tries to do something. It's not successful at it.
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 1: See, kind of going back to what you said earlier,
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: like the room. I feel like the person making that
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: movie thought they were making something good. Like with that one,
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 1: I think someone really thought they were nailing it. And
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: it's like, oh my God, how.
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 6: What are you doing?
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: How did everyone do the Emperor's New Clothing with this?
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: Someone should have been like, dude, this is terrible.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 6: I think that happens a lot in Hollywood.
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: I think everyone just wants their paycheck, really. So they're
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: just like, yeah, no, this is great.
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah, let's do this.
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 1: You are breaking new ground.
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 6: This is amazing. Cash, let's check quick before you get.
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: My theory is what happened with Twilight 2, but that's
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: just my opinion.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 6: But no, I think... And that's why I'm so amazed
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 6: at this one, because it's so bad, it's enjoyable, but
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 6: yet somehow they pull... You have to be aware of it.
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 6: It's very rare that this ever happens, that someone can
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 6: be that self-aware of the horrible movie they're making, and
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 6: it's not unwatchable.
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 1: Like I said, White boys meets, I don't even know,
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars or something.
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 10: Like, I don't even know.
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: It's fantastic. No, I would say, I wouldn't maybe, well,
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 1: I was going to say kids meets DDR. I mean,
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: they talked pretty ridiculous in that, too.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 10: That was supposed to be, you know.
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 7: They were trying to be real.
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: But there's still some pretty ridiculous talking that, too. Casper
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: was ridiculous.
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 6: At any point, did they reference Wiffleback Sucking Bitches? Because
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 6: that might have been my favorite line. You whiffle that
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 6: sucking bitches.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: I kind of like the part where he was like,
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: if you're lucky, I might let you suck my dick.
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 6: Wait, I bet somebody's pulled that line before.
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 7: You don't need a movie.
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 6: There's just assholes.
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 10: I don't know.
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 6: What do we take from this movie?
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 1: Ducks. The fact that the end scene shows the ducks
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: coming back at the end is amazing.
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 6: The secret to life is ducks.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: That's how you sort your shit out.
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 6: That's true. I do need to sort my shit out.
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, I'm going to start the CP, the
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 1: Cherokee part. Got to represent the CP.
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 6: Well, it is getting rough because somebody did.
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 1: Just get shot there.
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 6: Oh, for real? But he did it himself.
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 7: Don't shoot people, at Cherokee Park. He did it himself,
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 7: so that's cool. Well, he was running from the police.
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 7: He found the best way to escape.
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 1: Should have challenged the police to a beat-off. After he
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 1: earns enough street rep to challenge him. What was that
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: with the random clown, dude?
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 2: That was.
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 1: Just out of nowhere, there's some clown dude selling E.
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 6: The drug dealer that had his handful of Skittles or
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 6: whatever it was he was selling.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 1: That's crazy. He's like in Pacific Rim and all these
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: other movies.
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 6: Wait, this movie wasn't directed by J.J.
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 1: Did you see any solar flares? Any sun flares? I
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: didn't have anything flashing in.
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 7: My eyes as I tried to watch the film.
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 6: No, you're right.
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 7: The cinematography was a little better.
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 8: Have you ever seen me on an eclipse of Star
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 8: Trek without the lens flares and it looks like shit?
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 8: So don't make fun of the lens flares. It's brilliant.
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 1: No, I'm gonna.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 5: I will.
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 6: Just point it somewhere.
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 3: Else, dude.
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 8: Tell me Super 8 was a bad movie.
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 6: Okay. The second half is really bad.
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 8: I love Super 8.
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 6: I love the first half of Super 8.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 1: The best part of Super 8. I'm one of those
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: people that really didn't like that movie a lot. The
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 1: best part of Super 8 is after the credits.
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 6: Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. The first half is
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 6: awesome because I like those kids. I like the movie making.
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 6: I get the E.T.
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: Vibe with them totally. But then when you find the alien,
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 1: then it's like, wait, what? Who cares? Why are we
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 1: even getting this serious now with it?
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 6: Well, and even then, the weird offshoot plot of what
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 6: is the creature doing and why sometimes he wants to
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 6: kill these people, but then he's Let's save him because
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 6: he's wonderful. I don't know. It's so like can't make
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 6: up his mind what that second half wants to be.
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 6: And then the most awesome part is after the credits.
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 6: I want to watch that movie for an hour and
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 6: a half.
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 1: That would be awesome.
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 8: You know the fat kid at recess who makes fun
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 8: of the other kids because really he's just angry at himself.
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 6: That's everyone on the internet.
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 8: That's you right now.
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 8: Super 8 was a beautiful film.
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 6: Everyone on the internet and probably in podcasting.
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 8: And probably in podcasting.
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 1: I just remember being confused. Going into it, I was like,
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 1: all right. Because he did that thing he kind of
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: always does now, like he did with Cloverfield and stuff,
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 1: where it was like, no, no, I like Cloverfield. I
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: don't have any problems with Cloverfield.
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 7: Cloverfield's pretty entertaining.
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 1: But going into it, do you remember all the teasers
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 1: of the train wrecking and this thing about this found
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 1: footage thing? There was all this thing like, it's going
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 1: to be this creepy, mysterious alien thing. So when the
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 1: movie actually came out, it was so character-driven on the kids.
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, wait, I thought this was Cloverfield-ish about
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 1: this weird monster who didn't even show up till the end.
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 1: And then it was like, you didn't care by that
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: point because there was no emphasis on it. I was
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 1: just confused. Like, what is the focus? Because I kind
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: of dig the kids.
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 6: Well, it changes.
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 1: But I didn't know I was going into this kiddie-style movie.
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: I would have been cool with that if you would
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 1: have let me know ahead of time, this is what
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: you're giving me. So I just felt kind of duped.
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: It's the way I felt about The Fifth Element. Because
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 1: the goddamn trailers for the fifth element look like a
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 1: new Star Wars. It was absolutely serious. There was not
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 1: one joke in the trailer. It looked serious. And the
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 1: first 10 minutes blew me away.
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 8: Record real quick here.
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 6: How many different versions?
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 8: My favorite movie. You have it on Superbit, don't you?
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 8: I do have it on Superbit. Every version, my favorite movie.
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 8: Fifth Element. It's a great movie.
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 7: I like the Fifth Element.
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 1: The first time I watched it, I was disturbed because
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 1: I felt duped as into what I was about to watch.
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 1: I thought I was about to see this Star Wars-esque movie.
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: I'm sure on YouTube you can find a trailer that
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 1: is the old school, before it was in theaters, trailer.
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 1: You look at that trailer, you will not see Chris Tucker.
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 1: You will not see Bruce Willis doing anything that is
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 1: silly or comedic. It's all like these space fights, these
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 1: action scenes. It is nothing but sci-fi action. And then
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 1: it is ridiculous. And it's great and it's funny, but
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 1: that's not what you were shown going into it.
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 6: But in their defense, usually the director or the filmmakers
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 6: have nothing to do with that. That has become a
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 6: totally separate marketing department owned and operated by.
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 7: The studios now.
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 6: Directors have nothing to do with it.
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 8: I'm sure Luc Besson was really angry about that.
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 6: Well, I mean, it's like we had such a negative
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 6: response when we first went and saw Inglourious Bastards because.
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 1: It's a fucking mission movie.
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 6: Like, it's all about the team, and they're just kicking
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 6: ass and killing Nazis the whole time.
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 8: That pissed me off.
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 6: That is like maybe a third of the, not even
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 6: a third, really. It's like such a small percentage of
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 6: that story. And as time's gone on, I've been like, no,
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 6: this is a great movie. These scenes by themselves are phenomenal.
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 6: But when I got in there and was duped by
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 6: that trailer, I was just like, what? What did you
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 6: sell me here? But again, I'm sure he had nothing
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 6: to do with that trailer. And in a way, it's like,
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 6: I don't know. Who do we blame or do you
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 6: not blame anybody? Do you blame us for buying into it?
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 6: Because their job as the trailer people is to bring
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 6: as many people into that theater as possible. And when
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 6: they do that right, in a way, like in Glorious Bastards,
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 6: it worked. That was his base opening to the time.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 6: That was the most money he ever made on opening
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 6: a movie. I don't know if Django went better than that.
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 6: But at that point, they did their job. He made
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 6: so much money off of that movie, and it had
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 6: a successful opening. And then it stayed for a couple
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 6: of weeks because of that, and more people found out, oh,
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 6: that's not what this is at all. So I don't know.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 6: It's like because of that, it was a successful movie.
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 6: So do we get angry? Because they did their job.
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 6: They brought people into the theater. I hated it that
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 6: they did that. But in a way, I'm just like,
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 6: I don't know. They did what they were supposed to do.
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 6: He made the movie he wanted to make. In a way,
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 6: they both win. And the only person that loses is
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 6: us sitting in the audience going, I want to see
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 6: that movie. And then you get there and it's not
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 6: that movie.
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 1: That could be a good topic. Movies where the trailer
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 1: and the movie itself were dramatically different. I felt that
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: way about Dark City. I felt that way about Mystic Remnant.
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 1: Did you not like Pacific Rim? Or did you think
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 1: the trailer was crap and then you liked it?
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 8: Robots in Pacific Rim's trailer. But then when you go
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 8: and see it, there's that Australian guy. That's all I have.
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 1: I remember, again, going back to, like I said earlier,
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 1: I worked at the theater when Dark City came out.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 1: And this is what was... I mean, I was much younger.
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 3: I was a daughter.
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 1: I was much more... Music is still a big part
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 1: of my life. But I thought between the trailer and
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 1: that music in the trailer... Oh, my God. I thought
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 1: this was going to be the greatest movie of all
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 1: time because they took every artsy, awesome scene in that movie,
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 1: used it for that two-minute trailer, and it looked like
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 1: it was going to be children. Was it City of
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 1: Lost Children? City of Lost Children. But even better. It
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 1: looked like it was going to be awesome. And that
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 1: song that they used, it looked awesome. So I go
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 1: to see the movie, and it was, to me, incredibly slow,
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 1: incredibly unclimactic. That was so awesome. And then that song
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 1: wasn't in it. I bought the soundtrack and it's funny
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 1: because that track says inspired by the movie. Inspired by.
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 1: It wasn't even in the soundtrack. Oh, the trailer will
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 1: make you want to watch it. It'll make you question
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 1: yourself and watch it again and go, no, really? Was
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 1: I being mean? Maybe I should try this movie again.
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 6: The trailers have no rules because the trailers will use
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 6: music from other movies in the trailers.
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 1: After Requiem for a Dream. After Requiem for a Dream.
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 1: How many trailers used that intense violin music that was used?
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 1: So many movies wore that out the next summer.
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 8: There's only one that has a Superman music in it,
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 8: and it makes me so happy.
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 6: But yeah, there are no rules to the trailer game.
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 6: They will insert shots that aren't in the movie. So
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 6: sometimes you're waiting for that big scene that was in
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 6: the trailer, and it will never show up in the
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 6: movie because they cut it out. That's the director making
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 6: his movie.
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 7: And cutting that scene out.
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 4: Oh, dude.
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 1: This song, this trailer, this everything is awesome. Like, not
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 1: even kidding right now. This is going to look like
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 1: the greatest movie you've never seen.
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 8: Even the New Line Cinema logo looks sick.
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 16: It makes me want to buy stock in New Line Cinema.
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 3: I think I have to go back in time.
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 11: To do that.
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 1: Like, look how good this movie looks.
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 7: Seriously.
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 1: Every scene here is like the greatest scenes from the movie.
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 1: Put in two minutes. How could you not want to
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 1: watch this movie from this trailer? Like, seriously, maybe it's
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 1: just me and my aesthetic, but it's pretty awesome nothing
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 1: would stop me from wanting to see that movie and
• 1:27:46
  Speaker 1: then I remember the whole time in the theater like
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 1: you know it's the kind of thing where it's like
• 1:27:49
  Speaker 1: half an hour in you're like okay this is kind
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 1: of slow an hour in you're like wait what's going
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 1: on this is still kind of slow and it.
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 6: Starts to get weird and confusing midway in and you're
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 6: like I think I'm following everything but I'm not 100% sure.
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 1: And then a very unclimactic twist at the end I
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 1: was just like wait what did I just waste this
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 1: hour and a half doing and Can I just watch
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: the trailer like 60 times in a row and just
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 1: call it even? Like, what was that?
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 6: You can. That's what the internet was born for.
• 1:28:21
  Speaker 1: I seriously bought that soundtrack just for that one song.
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 1: Was it on that?
• 1:28:25
  Speaker 16: Yeah.
• 1:28:25
  Speaker 1: What's funny is that I bought the soundtrack like, you know, well,
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 1: I didn't hear it in the movie. Maybe I missed it.
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 1: And when I looked closer, it was on the soundtrack,
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 1: but it said inspired by the movie.
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 10: Oh, yes.
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 1: And I was like, wait, the best song on the
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 1: soundtrack wasn't even used in the movie?
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 10: Movie.
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 8: Because I bought the Fifth Element soundtrack, and then the
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 8: best song wasn't even in the soundtrack.
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 7: There's fine.
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 8: You know exactly what scene I'm talking about. Yeah, I
• 1:28:57
  Speaker 8: know it by heart.
• 1:28:57
  Speaker 1: Well, do you remember the big thing with Star Wars?
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 1: Do you remember the... It wasn't a trailer. It was
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 1: like a TV spot that had a scene that to
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 1: this day has not been released, but it's where Darth Maul...
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 1: was explaining the dark side of the Force. Do you
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 1: remember this? I think I remember one of those first–
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 1: Where he has this two-and-a-half-minute spiel.
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 6: Talking about– Which he has two lines in the entire movie.
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 1: Exactly. It was this great thing where I don't know
• 1:29:21
  Speaker 1: who he's supposed to be talking to, but as it
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 1: was shown in all these clips of Phantom Menace, it
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 1: was his audio over top of just talking about the
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 1: dark side of Force and where they get their power
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 1: and their anger. It was awesome. And it was not
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 1: in a movie. They just ended up, they cut it
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 1: from the movie and just used the audio for a
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 1: TV spot. And I was like, that's paramount stuff. I mean,
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 1: you know, when you got Yoda doing that whole spiel where,
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: you know, he's like fear leads to anger, anger leads.
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 1: It was like the dark side version of that where
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 1: he was explaining where the dark side gets all their,
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 1: their emphasis and power from. And they didn't put it in.
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 8: Lucasfilm, a goddamn thing. Or edit a goddamn thing.
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 7: He means in Star Wars, because he didn't after.
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 6: That's why Empire's so good.
• 1:30:11
  Speaker 8: He didn't make it.
• 1:30:13
  Speaker 1: That's why it's kind of... I don't want to say
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 1: I'm optimistic, but that's why it's nice to know the
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 1: guy that wrote Empire is writing these scripts, at least.
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 7: Well, I'm just.
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 6: I was just glad to see him hand it off
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 6: to somebody else. I'm just like, if he has... If
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 6: he has no involvement in it, it will help. Because
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 6: even before, when he wasn't writing them, he still had
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 6: executive producer... makes you God and you can do whatever
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 6: you want. You can still have influence over everything. So
• 1:30:39
  Speaker 6: I'm like, I'm just glad he's not even going to
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 6: have that. He's just going to be like, hey, hey guys,
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 6: I'm coming to the premiere. Thanks for inviting me.
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 8: You think he, didn't he get married?
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 6: When are we talking?
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 7: Like a long time ago?
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 6: I think he got remarried. But his wife died. That's
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 6: why he quit making movies for years.
• 1:30:58
  Speaker 8: His new wife, isn't she African American?
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 6: So he went dark side.
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 1: You know he wanted to shiro mifune to be darth
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 1: vader initially because you know it's like it's based on
• 1:31:11
  Speaker 1: hidden fortress yeah um he he approached or at least
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 1: at some level they approached um to shiro mifune and
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 1: he was like nope but he actually wanted to shiro
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 1: mifune to be darth vader like imagine imagine how different.
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 6: That At the same time, they also talked to everybody
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 6: for those roles. When you go back and look at
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 6: those lists, like it's anybody who was working in Hollywood.
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 7: Was up for something.
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 1: Harris Ford was a grip, right? Wasn't that the whole thing?
• 1:31:41
  Speaker 1: He was just like some stagehand.
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 6: Because that's the thing. Because he had already been in
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 6: American Graffiti. So I mean, he knew Lucas. But I
• 1:31:49
  Speaker 6: think at that point, he was just not making a
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 6: ton of money acting. So he was acting. And then
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 6: on the side, he was like a carpenter and just
• 1:31:55
  Speaker 6: doing whatever job. So I don't know if he was
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 6: working on movies or something like that. But he was
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 6: just like, that was, yeah, he was just like a
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 6: carpenter on the side, actor some of the time, and
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 6: he already kind of knew Lucas. So, but yeah, I
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 6: don't think he, he just happened to come in and
• 1:32:12
  Speaker 6: like kind of nail it, obviously. Because yeah, they tested.
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 8: Because he shot first.
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 6: They tested everybody for that. I'm ignoring that nonsense.
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 16: Sorry.
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 7: We all shot first.
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 8: Have you seen Unforgiven? 1993?
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes.
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 8: Have you seen the new remake? It's your least sequel to. No,
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 8: it's a samurai movie now. You know how the old
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 8: spaghetti westerns were based on samurai films?
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:32:36
  Speaker 8: They reversed it and made an unforgiven, same title, samurai movie.
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 8: It's brilliant.
• 1:32:41
  Speaker 1: You would love it.
• 1:32:41
  Speaker 6: That's kind of cool.
• 1:32:42
  Speaker 8: Guess who the main character is? Your boy, Ken Watanabe.
• 1:32:46
  Speaker 10: Oh, my God.
• 1:32:48
  Speaker 16: Sick.
• 1:32:48
  Speaker 8: It's sick. Watched it in the Philippines. It was great. Oh,
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 8: my God.
• 1:32:52
  Speaker 1: That's awesome.
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 8: And it's exactly the same just with Asian people and swords.
• 1:32:56
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, and that was technically the same character from, um,
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 1: fistful of dollars and all this stuff, right? Wasn't it
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 1: supposed to.
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 6: Be like him really old? I don't think they officially
• 1:33:08
  Speaker 6: said that, but I mean, with all of his, it's
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 6: sort of, he, he has his own mythology, especially within Western.
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 6: So you can kind of, yeah, you can kind of
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 6: add in whoever you can tie it to whatever old
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 6: backstory you want. Cause he's in 50 Western. So this
• 1:33:23
  Speaker 6: character is in any of them.
• 1:33:25
  Speaker 1: I see. I'm, I'm not even joking. Like, there's only
• 1:33:28
  Speaker 1: been a few times where I've been so impressed with, like,
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 1: some actor or something I've never seen before where I go,
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 1: holy F. Like, you know, where I specifically watched Akira's, like,
• 1:33:36
  Speaker 1: what was that dude's name? Because I'm looking for you
• 1:33:38
  Speaker 1: in the future. And Last Samurai, I was like, I
• 1:33:42
  Speaker 1: need to know that dude's name because anything he's in
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 1: in the future, I'm interested. And I've watched anything that
• 1:33:48
  Speaker 1: I've heard him attached to.
• 1:33:49
  Speaker 8: The money about the unforgiven Ken Watanabe is you're used
• 1:33:53
  Speaker 8: to Ken being, like, the older... more seasoned vet who
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 8: probably is going to die at the end like you
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 8: know slump over on the horse walk off into the
• 1:34:02
  Speaker 8: sun in this he's the young one and that's the
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 8: best because there's a there's an older character that plays
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 8: the older character to gene hackman's character that's like phenomenal
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 8: and just like come on come with me we're gonna
• 1:34:17
  Speaker 8: go kill these bandits we're gonna collect the ransom oh
• 1:34:19
  Speaker 8: god you're gonna love it did you watch red cliff
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 8: yeah chirpy red cliff.
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 1: Is so good it's so good So good. I miss
• 1:34:28
  Speaker 1: having people that watch Asian movies too. It hurts.
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 8: The viewers at home, the listeners won't know that I'm
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 8: actually in the Chinese medical field and those movies are
• 1:34:39
  Speaker 8: based on books that are actually reading for the education
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 8: of Chinese medicine.
• 1:34:44
  Speaker 10: Really?
• 1:34:46
  Speaker 8: The one guy who predicts that the wind will turn
• 1:34:49
  Speaker 8: courses and go so that the fire will be carried
• 1:34:52
  Speaker 8: into the enemy base is based on a Chinese medical text.
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 8: Shit's deep.
• 1:34:59
  Speaker 1: That's awesome. Shit's deep. We got some kind of chopped
• 1:35:04
  Speaker 1: up version of it in the States, didn't we? Didn't
• 1:35:06
  Speaker 1: they turn it into one movie somehow? We got some
• 1:35:08
  Speaker 1: kind of ripped up version.
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 1: Because, yeah, in China it was two part. It was
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 1: huge and it's awesome. What was the... Oh, God. I'm
• 1:35:17
  Speaker 1: blanking names. I haven't had someone to talk Asian stuff
• 1:35:20
  Speaker 1: with in so long. I'm going to forget stuff now.
• 1:35:22
  Speaker 1: What was.
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 1: Hari Kiri. There was a remake of it. Was it
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 1: just called Harakiri or was it called something else?
• 1:35:29
  Speaker 6: No, it's Harakiri.
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 1: Did you watch the new one too? It's called Harakiri
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 1: Death of a Samurai.
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 8: It's like Harakiri colon Death of a Samurai.
• 1:35:36
  Speaker 1: I thought that was a really good remake. The original,
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 1: I think they're both great. I was not offended by
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 1: the remake at all, but it was so brutal. It
• 1:35:44
  Speaker 1: was so brutal.
• 1:35:46
  Speaker 8: For the viewers at home, if you want the best
• 1:35:49
  Speaker 8: samurai movie of all time.
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 1: What, in your opinion, is the best samurai movie?
• 1:35:54
  Speaker 8: Sword of Doom.
• 1:35:55
  Speaker 1: You know, but it doesn't end.
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 8: That is what makes it the best.
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 1: Because the fact that, what was the story? Because I
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 1: heard like someone.
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 8: It's actually three books. And the first, the movie ends
• 1:36:08
  Speaker 8: in the middle of the first book. But the director
• 1:36:11
  Speaker 8: died or didn't want to make the movies or some
• 1:36:13
  Speaker 8: kind of bullshit. That is what makes it art.
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 1: I remember that one. The first time I watched it,
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 1: I was alone or whatever. It was late at night.
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 1: And I remember when the credits hit. I remember being
• 1:36:26
  Speaker 1: in a state of denial. I've never known before because
• 1:36:30
  Speaker 1: it's literally in the, just in, it felt random is
• 1:36:34
  Speaker 1: an understatement. It looks like you are about to hit,
• 1:36:38
  Speaker 1: you know, the climax of the movie. It was like,
• 1:36:39
  Speaker 1: here we go. Here we go. It's about to get on.
• 1:36:42
  Speaker 1: And he pulls a sword. He starts fighting. And like
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 1: in mid swing on a nobody. It's just like, Finn! Credits!
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 1: And I was like, wait, what? He didn't even fight
• 1:36:52
  Speaker 1: the main dude. Like, Toshiro Mifune didn't even fight him yet.
• 1:36:54
  Speaker 1: You got the two greatest samurai actors ever in a
• 1:36:58
  Speaker 1: movie and they never crossed swords in the movie.
• 1:37:01
  Speaker 8: That is what makes it beautiful. Two hours and 30
• 1:37:04
  Speaker 8: minutes and it ends.
• 1:37:07
  Speaker 1: It's a great movie, but yeah, I was just like,
• 1:37:09
  Speaker 1: I didn't understand.
• 1:37:11
  Speaker 8: Seven minutes of that fucking thing that fills with water
• 1:37:13
  Speaker 8: and dumps into the pond. Boom, boom, boom, boom. That's
• 1:37:17
  Speaker 8: the best. That's what it takes to make a samurai film.
• 1:37:20
  Speaker 8: Sword of Doom, ladies and gentlemen.
• 1:37:23
  Speaker 1: That movie is great.
• 1:37:24
  Speaker 8: Do not watch the Tai Chi Master.
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 10: No, no, no, no, no.
• 1:37:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I saw a trailer and I was like, no,
• 1:37:29
  Speaker 1: I'm touching that. What do you think? What was the
• 1:37:33
  Speaker 1: remake of 13 Assassin? Did you get to watch that?
• 1:37:36
  Speaker 8: I don't think I've watched that one yet.
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 1: It's really good. I've seen, again, it was one of
• 1:37:40
  Speaker 1: those things where I watched the old one before I
• 1:37:41
  Speaker 1: watched the new one again just to be like, all right,
• 1:37:43
  Speaker 1: let me get fresh in my mind. But the new one,
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 1: it was really good. It was still really, really intense. Yeah,
• 1:37:50
  Speaker 1: a lot of these remakes coming out over in the
• 1:37:54
  Speaker 1: Eastern world is great.
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 8: Is it Tarantino where they chop off an arm and
• 1:37:57
  Speaker 8: get 47 gallons of blood?
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 1: I think there is some of that water fountain kind
• 1:38:03
  Speaker 1: of spray blood here and there, but it was really good.
• 1:38:07
  Speaker 6: At least the one that came out a few years ago.
• 1:38:10
  Speaker 11: So I guess that was the remake.
• 1:38:12
  Speaker 1: And it's just super dark.
• 1:38:13
  Speaker 3: It was good.
• 1:38:14
  Speaker 1: It was super dark like that. I mean, well, you know,
• 1:38:17
  Speaker 1: a lot of samurai movies did have dark, twisted people.
• 1:38:20
  Speaker 8: I like the samurai movies that are slow and awful
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 8: and just horrible and nobody likes them.
• 1:38:26
  Speaker 1: Twilight Samurai.
• 1:38:27
  Speaker 8: Yeah, Twilight Samurai. There's another one.
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 1: What was the one with the blood?
• 1:38:30
  Speaker 2: One?
• 1:38:30
  Speaker 1: The one where he lost his vision and the poison
• 1:38:34
  Speaker 1: tester guy that was.
• 1:38:37
  Speaker 1: I watch all these movies and I don't remember names.
• 1:38:39
  Speaker 1: I can tell you plots, but not names.
• 1:38:40
  Speaker 8: There's the Hidden Blade. Hidden Blades.
• 1:38:42
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 1: Oh, that was fantastic. When it happened, when you found
• 1:38:46
  Speaker 1: out what the Hidden Blade was. Yes, exactly.
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 8: I was like, oh my God.
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 1: That's the greatest move ever. I feel like I'm the
• 1:38:55
  Speaker 1: only guy in the area that downloads random samurai movies
• 1:38:58
  Speaker 1: and watches them and stuff.
• 1:39:01
  Speaker 6: We can round this thing out. I really don't know
• 1:39:03
  Speaker 6: what to do with half of it anyway.
• 1:39:05
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 1:39:05
  Speaker 6: Some of it may just be for fun.
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 1: Point being, watch the FB.
• 1:39:08
  Speaker 10: Seriously.
• 1:39:09
  Speaker 1: If any part of you, if you enjoy trauma, if
• 1:39:12
  Speaker 1: there's any part of you that enjoys a bad movie
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 1: for humor, this movie is so great. It's not bad
• 1:39:22
  Speaker 1: just for the sake of bad. Like I said, I
• 1:39:25
  Speaker 1: feel like I've watched some bad movies. It's kind of
• 1:39:27
  Speaker 1: inspired bad.
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 6: Right.
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 8: It really is.
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 1: That's what I was trying to nail earlier. It's like
• 1:39:30
  Speaker 1: there's some bad movies that are just bad. And it's
• 1:39:33
  Speaker 1: funny because it's so bad. You're just like, oh, my God,
• 1:39:35
  Speaker 1: this is a train wreck. Why didn't they know?
• 1:39:36
  Speaker 8: I think we've been on here waiting to be watched.
• 1:39:38
  Speaker 1: Well, there you go. It's good. I promise you, it
• 1:39:40
  Speaker 1: really is good.
• 1:39:40
  Speaker 8: Have you seen Three Outlaw Samurai in 1961? I don't
• 1:39:42
  Speaker 8: think so. Oh, God, it's so good.
• 1:39:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, have you seen, oh, God, what's the name of
• 1:39:46
  Speaker 1: that one? It was super cool. Kill. Have you seen Kill?
• 1:39:52
  Speaker 1: I swear Samurai Champloo is based on that. It has
• 1:39:56
  Speaker 1: to be. It has this weird hip-hop vibe, even though
• 1:40:00
  Speaker 1: it's this old-school black-and-white samurai movie. It's so great, just
• 1:40:03
  Speaker 1: the way the music is coordinated and the way the personality...
• 1:40:07
  Speaker 1: It's so much fun.
• 1:40:08
  Speaker 8: And on that bombshell....
• 1:40:12
  Speaker 7: Alright, are we rounding this thing up?
• 1:40:14
  Speaker 6: He says we should watch the movie. I guess it's
• 1:40:18
  Speaker 6: too late.
• 1:40:18
  Speaker 2: I already watched it.
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 6: All right, we have survived the FP, so from here
• 1:40:23
  Speaker 6: in the 502. Otherwise, that about does it. We will
• 1:40:25
  Speaker 6: return next week. Same geek time, same geek feed.
• 1:40:27
  Speaker 8: Thanks, fellas.
• 1:40:42
  Speaker 17: Look and see the devil. We'll fly tonight through the
• 1:41:06
  Speaker 17: air Love is a dream Love is a dream Beauty
• 1:41:16
  Speaker 17: unseen That's when we talk Beauty.
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 16: Unseen Do you want to give your wrap-up of the movie?
• 1:41:38
  Speaker 9: I'm not quite sure how to do this. There was
• 1:41:46
  Speaker 9: an intellectual sophistication to this movie that if you were
• 1:41:50
  Speaker 9: not paying close attention to it, you were in the
• 1:41:54
  Speaker 9: back of the theater. If you were closer to the
• 1:41:57
  Speaker 9: front of the stage... you would recognize the true nuance
• 1:42:04
  Speaker 9: to the brilliance of this director. This director has been very, very,
• 1:42:10
  Speaker 9: very involved in this film. And, you know, those who
• 1:42:16
  Speaker 9: are very, very close to it would realize his brilliance. And, well, particularly,
• 1:42:23
  Speaker 9: he's got a very long penis. That's probably the most
• 1:42:27
  Speaker 9: important thing here to recognize. Probably about a 13, 14-inch penis.
• 1:42:31
  Speaker 9: And that 13, 14-inch penis, it kind of shines through
• 1:42:34
  Speaker 9: in this film. As you're watching it, just kind of
• 1:42:43
  Speaker 9: look for a 13, 14-inch penis. And you might want
• 1:42:48
  Speaker 9: to call it Carrie. Don't call it Carrie. But anyways,
• 1:42:53
  Speaker 9: it's a kid show. No, it's not.
• 1:42:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:42:56
  Speaker 1: It's a kid show.
• 1:42:58
  Speaker 6: Whatever.
• 1:43:00
  Speaker 9: And just enjoy. Enjoy this masterpiece. And this director.
• 1:43:06
  Speaker 1: Enjoy his masterpiece.
• 1:43:07
  Speaker 9: He will be a true and famed director here to come.
• 1:43:13
  Speaker 7: What's his name?
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 1: Jason Trox.
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 9: Jason Trox.
• 1:43:15
  Speaker 1: 14-inch long.
• 1:43:17
  Speaker 9: Thank you very much.
• 1:43:17
  Speaker 1: 14-inch. 14-inch.
• 1:43:20
  Speaker 7: This man has not been drinking at all.
• 1:43:23
  Speaker 11: This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and
• 1:43:26
  Speaker 11: edited by The Oddity Studios, with the opening music performed
• 1:43:29
  Speaker 11: by The Empires. For more on how to sponsor or
• 1:43:32
  Speaker 11: support the show, Email producer at moviemeltdown.com.
• 1:43:35
  Speaker 5: Talk hard!