Latest / Mindful Success Path / Gray Divorce: Why Divorce Over 50 On The Rise (And How to Avoid It)
Transcript
- 0:32There is a new relationship trend making headlines in the United States, and that is gray divorce.
- 0:38Couples are getting divorced after the age of 50 in record numbers, and if you're over the age of 65, divorce has.
- 0:47Tripled.
- 0:49Now, what's really interesting is on this channel we do get people who have been divorced and on my husband's channel where he helps people move to other countries.
- 0:57We actually work with a lot of, uh, people who are retirees or about to retire.
- 1:03And we also noticed, wow, a lot of these guys are getting divorced.
- 1:06So I was like, you know what?
- 1:08We gotta go do a reaction video to talk about what is going on and what causes some of these issues in what that lead to divorce after the age of 50.
- 1:19I have an article that just came out recently'cause this is.
- 1:21Blowing up the internet in the United States.
- 1:24And then I will also give some of my thoughts based on coaching women for 15 years in different areas of their lives, on some of the things we could do to maybe.
- 1:34Avoid some of the issues that lead to great divorce because I was going through the list and I was like, a lot of this stuff can be avoided.
- 1:41So that is what we are going to do.
- 1:43Hi, my name is Amanda.
- 1:44Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
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- 3:06Okay, let's get into it.
- 3:07Gray divorce, the new phenomenon that is all over the news in the United States, and I was looking at some news from other countries.
- 3:15Now, other countries are starting to report on the gray divorce phenomenon going on in the United States.
- 3:22So let's, let's get into it.
- 3:23Let's see the reasons why divorce over the age of 50 is skyrocketing.
- 3:29Justin Keltner-1: The gray divorce phenomenon, this has been all over the internet in the last week.
- 3:34Justin Keltner-1: Oprah just did an interview about this.
- 3:36Justin Keltner-1: It's, there's a bunch of news articles coming out about this recently, so let's get into it.
- 3:42Justin Keltner-1: Why so many older couples are falling victim to the gray divorce phenomenon.
- 3:46Justin Keltner-1: And as I said.
- 3:47Justin Keltner-1: Uh, one of my husband's businesses is a relocation company.
- 3:50Justin Keltner-1: He helps people move to other countries.
- 3:52Justin Keltner-1: A lot of times it's people who are over the age of 50 who are looking to retire in other countries, and we have noticed a trend with a lot of them getting divorced.
- 4:02Justin Keltner-1: So we can just, I can see this happening, right?
- 4:05Justin Keltner-1: Just in my husband's business.
- 4:07Justin Keltner-1: So divorce lawyers are making a pretty penny, uh, now a day.
- 4:11Justin Keltner-1: Okay, so here are the key takeaways and we'll get into it and then I'll share my commentary.
- 4:15Justin Keltner-1: Great divorce happens when couples over 50 decide to divorce after long marriages.
- 4:20Justin Keltner-1: Common reasons for great divorce include empty nest syndrome.
- 4:23Justin Keltner-1: I will get to that.
- 4:24Justin Keltner-1: And financial disagreements.
- 4:26Justin Keltner-1: I will get to that too, because I spent eight years as a financial educator and a lot of this financial stuff can be avoided.
- 4:33Justin Keltner-1: So that's what we're going to be talking about.
- 4:35Justin Keltner-1: Great divorce can be financially hard, uh, especially on women who may face a bigger drop in living standards.
- 4:42Justin Keltner-1: At which point why do it?
- 4:43Justin Keltner-1: Right.
- 4:44Justin Keltner-1: I a lot in the Oprah interview, they were talking to a researcher and an attorney.
- 4:50Justin Keltner-1: And part of what they were talking about in the Oprah interview is women being like, well, I've got another 15 years on me, so why don't I just go get divorced and live my best life?
- 4:58Justin Keltner-1: Because you're not gonna live your best life.
- 5:00Justin Keltner-1: Right.
- 5:00Justin Keltner-1: Because you are starting over.
- 5:02Justin Keltner-1: Uh, essentially.
- 5:03Justin Keltner-1: So that's why I'm like, why?
- 5:04Justin Keltner-1: And also when I read a lot of the reasons, like I said, a lot of these things can be avoided, uh, or talked through.
- 5:10Justin Keltner-1: Some cannot.
- 5:11Justin Keltner-1: Right.
- 5:11Justin Keltner-1: But a lot of them can.
- 5:12Justin Keltner-1: So that's what I wanted to, uh.
- 5:14Justin Keltner-1: Get to today.
- 5:15Justin Keltner-1: So Bill and Melinda Gates, Hugh Jackman, and Deborah Lee Jackman, r Ray Pearlman and Danny DeVito.
- 5:23Justin Keltner-1: What do any of these couples have in common?
- 5:25Justin Keltner-1: They're all divorced after decades.
- 5:27Justin Keltner-1: Long marriages.
- 5:27Justin Keltner-1: See, there's this growing trend of older couples calling it quits, and the research backs this up too.
- 5:33Justin Keltner-1: A 2021 report by the US Census Bureau.
- 5:35Justin Keltner-1: So again, this is particular to the United States, found that more and more couples over the age of 65 are divorcing.
- 5:42Justin Keltner-1: After being married four years, if not decades, why are older couples after spending nearly half their lives together, ending their relationship?
- 5:49Justin Keltner-1: This phenomenon, dubbed grade divorce is one explanation for the growing number of single person US households.
- 5:57Justin Keltner-1: Okay.
- 5:57Justin Keltner-1: Um, so the reasons behind it are complex and varied.
- 6:01Justin Keltner-1: Uh, statistics suggest that baby movers are more prone to divorce.
- 6:04Justin Keltner-1: Uh, and there's actually interesting studies done on this by Adam Lane Smith, uh, baby boomers, a lot of them did not grow up with healthy attachment styles at all in the household.
- 6:14Justin Keltner-1: He's talked about this on his channels, so I.
- 6:17Justin Keltner-1: I would not be surprised if that is a contributing factor because the United States is dealing with like a hundred years of attachment trauma in families, and we're seeing, you know, society fall apart.
- 6:30Justin Keltner-1: As a result, uh, factors like empty nest syndrome, shifting priorities, financial problem problems, reduced stigma around divorcing, can all play a role, uh, keep reading to learn, blah, blah, blah, blah.
- 6:41Justin Keltner-1: Okay.
- 6:41Justin Keltner-1: What is great divorce?
- 6:42Justin Keltner-1: It's often defined as divorce that occurs as through the age of 50, following a long-term marriage.
- 6:47Justin Keltner-1: These individuals have often been married for many years or decades, but ultimately decide to split.
- 6:52Justin Keltner-1: How common is it?
- 6:54Justin Keltner-1: 1 20 22 study looking at historical trends in gray divorce found that divorce rates among middle aged and older adults have increased since 1970.
- 7:01Justin Keltner-1: Gray divorce was relatively uncommon in 1970 and grew only modestly until 1990.
- 7:08Justin Keltner-1: In 1990 8.7% of marriages among people over the age of 50 ended in divorce.
- 7:14Justin Keltner-1: By 2019, that number had grown to 36.
- 7:18Justin Keltner-1: Percent.
- 7:20Justin Keltner-1: The researchers also noted that people over the age of 65 are the only age group with growing divorce rates.
- 7:25Justin Keltner-1: In contrast, the divorce rate among young adults in their twenties and thirties has actually declined in recent years.
- 7:30Justin Keltner-1: Yay.
- 7:31Justin Keltner-1: I think people are.
- 7:33Justin Keltner-1: Going to therapy and coaching, um, and trying to work through their stuff because they certainly did not see older generations doing that, which obviously is part of what we're seeing.
- 7:44Justin Keltner-1: So generational influences.
- 7:46Justin Keltner-1: Uh, one explanation for growing div great divorce rates is that baby boomers adults born between 1946 and 1964, make up the bulk of the age group over 50.
- 7:55Justin Keltner-1: And this generation is more likely to divorce than older and younger generations.
- 7:59Justin Keltner-1: Boomers were more likely to divorce during their younger adult years, and their divorce rates have also continued.
- 8:05Justin Keltner-1: To rise, um, as they age.
- 8:08Justin Keltner-1: I would be curious to see, um, the difference between, um, like a multi-generational Americans versus first generation Americans, like my parents.
- 8:18Justin Keltner-1: I would be interested to see that.
- 8:20Justin Keltner-1: I don't know if it would make a difference, but I would be interested to see kind of how that plays out between immigrant households, uh, versus.
- 8:27Justin Keltner-1: Non-immigrant households in the United States.
- 8:30Justin Keltner-1: Okay.
- 8:30Justin Keltner-1: Other factors that increase the risk for great divorce include the number of previous marriages.
- 9:35Justin Keltner-1: We know that and the number of years a person has been married, remarriages are less likely to last.
- 9:41Justin Keltner-1: Again, we also know that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
- 9:43Justin Keltner-1: Um.
- 9:44Justin Keltner-1: While the length of marriage is a risk factor for grade divorce, many couples who split after the age of 50 have been in marriages lasting decades.
- 9:51Justin Keltner-1: According to statistics by the Pew Research Center, 34% of grade divorces are between couples married for at least 30 years, and 12% are between couples married 40 years or longer.
- 10:01Justin Keltner-1: So here's some of the contributing factors, and again, some of these can be avoided.
- 10:05Justin Keltner-1: Okay.
- 10:05Justin Keltner-1: That's why I wanna talk about this.
- 10:06Justin Keltner-1: And this is based on my 15 years of experience coaching women in different areas of their lives.
- 10:12Justin Keltner-1: So empty nest syndrome, that's when kids leave the home.
- 10:15Justin Keltner-1: If you saw the interview that my husband, where I interviewed my husband, uh, recently, he brought up this very interesting point that a lot of you liked.
- 10:22Justin Keltner-1: Uh, and it's very practical, which is the fact that couples need to find something other than their kids to keep the marriage together, uh, because we know.
- 10:33Justin Keltner-1: We now know this, that now more divorces are happening because of empty nest syndrome.
- 10:38Justin Keltner-1: When you've made your entire life, your kids, and now the kids are not in the home anymore, you have nothing in common'cause the kids are not there.
- 10:47Justin Keltner-1: So one thing that's interesting is couples who run businesses together, you don't have to run a business together, but at least have hobbies, have projects.
- 10:54Justin Keltner-1: Like my, my parents have been married for 40 some odd years, right?
- 10:57Justin Keltner-1: They're both, uh, my none of us are in the house anymore.
- 11:01Justin Keltner-1: None of the kids.
- 11:02Justin Keltner-1: They exercise, they have hobbies, they have all kinds of projects to keep them busy and keep them, uh, together.
- 11:10Justin Keltner-1: My parents were also religious, so obviously that plays a, a part in it as well.
- 11:15Justin Keltner-1: 'cause they're like, we ain't getting divorced.
- 11:16Justin Keltner-1: Okay.
- 11:17Justin Keltner-1: Because that's their, their value system.
- 11:19Justin Keltner-1: Um, and I would also venture to say that in the United States we have less and less religion, which I'm sure is probably a contributing factor, uh, to this as well.
- 11:26Justin Keltner-1: I don't know if that's gonna come up.
- 11:28Justin Keltner-1: In this article, I do not think it does.
- 11:30Justin Keltner-1: Um, so basically, you know, if you, if you've made your whole marriage about your kids and then your kids are not there anymore.
- 11:36Justin Keltner-1: Yeah, you're gonna be at each other's throats.
- 11:38Justin Keltner-1: Now, one of the things that you can do is you can find things other than the kids.
- 11:42Justin Keltner-1: Maybe it's running businesses together.
- 11:44Justin Keltner-1: Uh, couples who run businesses together actually only have a 10% divorce rate.
- 11:49Justin Keltner-1: They have some of the lowest divorce rates, uh, of any group, uh, of people because there's something bigger keeping you guys together, uh, that needs, that needs to run.
- 11:59Justin Keltner-1: Right?
- 11:59Justin Keltner-1: And you learn.
- 12:01Justin Keltner-1: Um, you learn how not to be immature because businesses need to run regardless of how you feel, right?
- 12:08Justin Keltner-1: So that's maybe a contributing factor, uh, as to.
- 12:13Justin Keltner-1: Why, and as I was talking about my last reaction, video, American Society is very immature right now.
- 12:20Justin Keltner-1: Now, if you have a business, it's going to mature you.
- 12:23Justin Keltner-1: Uh, it has to, or your business is not going to survive.
- 12:25Justin Keltner-1: It's not going to make money, like it's not going to be successful.
- 12:28Justin Keltner-1: So have some sort of other projects, uh, other than your kids or some of the things that you can do right, is let's say your kids are out and you're realizing you don't know each other again, go date.
- 12:38Justin Keltner-1: Each other again, pretend you're like together for the first time again because you basically have a, you have like a new life that you are now building financial issues.
- 12:47Justin Keltner-1: Arguments over money can become more pronounced as couples near retirement age, it becomes harder to find common ground and maintain the peace.
- 12:55Justin Keltner-1: So here's the thing about money.
- 12:56Justin Keltner-1: And I say this because I spent from 2010 to like 17, 18 in the financial education space.
- 13:04Justin Keltner-1: You can go Google it.
- 13:05Justin Keltner-1: I have a Amazon bestselling book in the category.
- 13:08Justin Keltner-1: I, you know, I've been on the news for things like, uh, TransUnion.
- 13:13Justin Keltner-1: You can go Google it.
- 13:15Justin Keltner-1: I spent like seven, eight years in the financial education space.
- 13:18Justin Keltner-1: And one of the things that you really had to learn how to do, and one of the things you had to learn how to talk about, uh, as a couple.
- 13:24Justin Keltner-1: Is money, and I'm gonna tell you the truth.
- 13:27Justin Keltner-1: Most couples do not talk about money.
- 13:29Justin Keltner-1: They don't, most couples have no idea what is going on in the financial life, right?
- 13:36Justin Keltner-1: Most couples don't have financial goals together.
- 13:38Justin Keltner-1: Most couples don't even know how much debt they're in.
- 13:40Justin Keltner-1: So one of the things that couples need to start learning how to do, and they need to start doing this early on, and then you could avoid this issue after the age of 50, is you better learn how to have some conversations about money.
- 13:52Justin Keltner-1: And sometimes those conversations are hard.
- 13:55Justin Keltner-1: And again, this is where maturity needs to come into play.
- 13:59Justin Keltner-1: But yeah.
- 13:59Justin Keltner-1: You know how many people out here get married without?
- 14:01Justin Keltner-1: Under ever having talked about money?
- 14:04Justin Keltner-1: I think, um, one of the, the things that we should have in premarital counseling if it doesn't exist yet, is teaching couples how to talk about money.
- 14:12Justin Keltner-1: Because money is an area of life that could be very emotionally charged.
- 14:16Justin Keltner-1: There can be a lot of trauma around money, depending on how somebody grew up.
- 14:20Justin Keltner-1: Financial opposites tend to attract each other.
- 14:23Justin Keltner-1: That is something I saw a lot when I was in the financial education space and doing a lot of coaching, um, in that area.
- 14:30Justin Keltner-1: Of life.
- 14:31Justin Keltner-1: Uh, but you have to learn how to talk about money, right?
- 14:34Justin Keltner-1: So have those weekly money dates, don't wait until the age of 50, right?
- 14:38Justin Keltner-1: Have those weekly money dates.
- 14:39Justin Keltner-1: Uh, know what is going on.
- 14:41Justin Keltner-1: A lot of women out here will come to this channel and they'll be like, well, if a man is a provider, then he has control over me.
- 14:47Justin Keltner-1: Girl, you know where the accounts are.
- 14:48Justin Keltner-1: If you're with a healthy.
- 14:50Justin Keltner-1: Right.
- 14:50Justin Keltner-1: He's got your name on the accounts.
- 14:53Justin Keltner-1: If you are a healthy man, he's sitting down with you and telling you what is going on.
- 14:58Justin Keltner-1: If he's a, he is not leaving you in the dark.
- 15:00Justin Keltner-1: Right?
- 15:00Justin Keltner-1: And what happens with a lot of couples, so I'm not surprised to see this of all ages, is that they, they don't talk about money.
- 15:09Justin Keltner-1: They don't talk about it at all.
- 15:11Justin Keltner-1: They avoid the conversation like the plague actually.
- 15:14Justin Keltner-1: So one of the things couples need to learn how to do is learn how to talk about money and financial goals.
- 15:20Justin Keltner-1: And you know, my husband and I talk about money all the time, right?
- 15:23Justin Keltner-1: Because we wanna know like where we're going and what's going on and what are we doing and what are we building toward and all that kind of stuff, right?
- 15:29Justin Keltner-1: Infidelity, um.
- 15:32Justin Keltner-1: Are there things that can avoid infidelity?
- 15:36Justin Keltner-1: Maybe.
- 15:37Justin Keltner-1: But infidelity is one of those things that can happen to good people who did everything right.
- 15:41Justin Keltner-1: So.
- 15:42Justin Keltner-1: It can happen to anybody.
- 15:44Justin Keltner-1: It is what it is.
- 15:45Justin Keltner-1: Okay.
- 15:45Justin Keltner-1: Health problems, right?
- 15:46Justin Keltner-1: Health challenges like a serious chronic condition can major majorly strain a relationship.
- 15:51Justin Keltner-1: Some couples find that they're unable to handle health issues that emerge as they age.
- 15:56Justin Keltner-1: Notably, research indicates there's a gender disparity in how health problems affect couples.
- 16:01Justin Keltner-1: Studies reported a higher divorce risk that the wife develops.
- 16:04Justin Keltner-1: I've seen this, a chronic illness, whereas men who become disabled or Ill do not face the same level of risk again, emotional immaturity.
- 16:12Justin Keltner-1: That's what I'm going to put that down to because, um, and this may be a cultural thing'cause I'm Latina, you take good care of people, the whole family is gonna come in and take care of people.
- 16:23Justin Keltner-1: But that is something that is different in the United States because again, in the United States, it's all about your feelings and your personal happiness in the United States, here in Latin America, it's all about the family.
- 16:35Justin Keltner-1: So I have heard this right?
- 16:37Justin Keltner-1: I know it happens.
- 16:40Justin Keltner-1: It doesn't make sense to me as a Latina, like we were caregivers for all of my grandparents.
- 16:45Justin Keltner-1: You know, it's expected that, you know, if something hap when my hu my dad was sick of a few years ago, which is part of what led to my spiritual awakening that I've talked about on this channel.
- 16:54Justin Keltner-1: Like my mom was right, right by his side.
- 16:56Justin Keltner-1: I was there right by his side.
- 16:57Justin Keltner-1: Like it just doesn't compute for me.
- 16:59Justin Keltner-1: It doesn't make sense.
- 17:00Justin Keltner-1: Or with my grandparents, we were dealing with some very serious health problems and we were caregivers again, doesn't compute, doesn't make sense, but it could be a cultural thing.
- 17:08Justin Keltner-1: Um, growing apart, one of the most significant causes of great divorce is the changes people experience as they age.
- 17:15Justin Keltner-1: Growing apart is the most frequently cited reason for divorce at any age.
- 17:19Justin Keltner-1: For other adults, specifically, aging represents a big change, and people's priorities, interests and needs may shift as they grow older.
- 17:25Justin Keltner-1: I don't think it's growing apart.
- 17:27Justin Keltner-1: I think it's that people don't know how to maintain polarity in a relationship.
- 17:31Justin Keltner-1: People don't know how to keep the sexy.
- 17:33Justin Keltner-1: That's what growing apart means, right?
- 17:35Justin Keltner-1: Uh, changing expectations.
- 17:38Justin Keltner-1: Our expectation, because here's the thing, right?
- 17:40Justin Keltner-1: No one ever stays the same, ever.
- 17:43Justin Keltner-1: Right.
- 17:43Justin Keltner-1: Like I'm a different person from in like six months than I was six months ago.
- 17:48Justin Keltner-1: So again, this whole growing apart thing doesn't make any sense to me because this is a given that people are going to change.
- 17:54Justin Keltner-1: And again, I think a lot of this has to go back to those personal feelings.
- 17:58Justin Keltner-1: Right where everything in the United States is based off of people's personal feelings, and that's how they're all making decisions right now.
- 18:05Justin Keltner-1: And of course, you're gonna cite growing Apart as a problem because you have no idea how to talk about this.
- 18:10Justin Keltner-1: No one's got relationship skills, barely anybody.
- 18:13Justin Keltner-1: In the United States, uh, you made your whole life, your kids, as we already mentioned, that that's one of the the things, right?
- 18:21Justin Keltner-1: And again, it's like, oh, well we're growing apart.
- 18:23Justin Keltner-1: I wanna do this over here because this makes me happy.
- 18:26Justin Keltner-1: And if you're, you don't wanna do that, then I'm gonna divorce you.
- 18:29Justin Keltner-1: You know, like that's the mentality, which is we've done other videos, um, about that, right?
- 18:34Justin Keltner-1: So for older adults, positioning priorities, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
- 18:37Justin Keltner-1: Again, it just doesn't make sense to me.
- 18:38Justin Keltner-1: 'cause isn't it a given that people are going to change?
- 18:41Justin Keltner-1: Wow.
- 18:42Justin Keltner-1: Like I'm totally different person than I was a year ago.
- 18:46Justin Keltner-1: Right?
- 18:46Justin Keltner-1: So again, that one doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
- 18:49Justin Keltner-1: I think that has to do with, um, emotional immaturity, which we know is an issue in the United States.
- 18:56Justin Keltner-1: Uh, personal happiness above everything else, which again, is a cultural thing in the United States.
- 19:02Justin Keltner-1: Um, and not knowing how to keep a relationship spicy.
- 19:06Justin Keltner-1: Okay, uh, change the expectations.
- 19:08Justin Keltner-1: Our expectations for what we consider a healthy, satisfying marriage have also changed over time.
- 19:13Justin Keltner-1: Today, couples are more likely to place a greater emphasis on how the relationship makes them feel, including whether it contributes to their overall happiness and fulfillment.
- 19:22Justin Keltner-1: What did I just say?
- 19:23Justin Keltner-1: The United States is emotionally immature.
- 19:25Justin Keltner-1: It is emotionally stunted.
- 19:27Justin Keltner-1: That is where we have gotten, um, as a society, uh, societal changes, society change.
- 19:33Justin Keltner-1: Societal changes have also influenced this relationship of people.
- 19:37Justin Keltner-1: Older adults were often raised with the expectation that they would marry, have children, and go old together.
- 19:41Justin Keltner-1: Today, many not recognize that there is no one side fits all path to a happy life again, personal happiness above everything else, and women have more freedom and financial independence than past generations.
- 19:51Justin Keltner-1: And again, I've said this before, this is a huge difference between the united.
- 19:54Justin Keltner-1: States and other countries and other cultures is that the United States has an overemphasis on personal feelings and personal happiness, and there's, and because of that, we have like a level of immaturity that is now running the show in the United States, which is leading to.
- 20:11Justin Keltner-1: All these freaking problems and all these trends that we see on social media, the majority of all divorces are initiated by women.
- 20:19Justin Keltner-1: We know that, and this is true for great divorce as well.
- 20:23Justin Keltner-1: Um, in the last 50 years, women have gained greater economic independence that have held and maintained their own careers.
- 20:28Justin Keltner-1: This has created more options for women on many fronts.
- 20:31Justin Keltner-1: I think there also is something going on here, which again, has to do with not understanding polarity and mass.
- 20:36Justin Keltner-1: Feeling energy and feminine energy and how they're supposed to work together, that there are women out here who are exhausted.
- 20:42Justin Keltner-1: So I think that has a lot to do with it as well.
- 20:44Justin Keltner-1: I will be doing other videos specifically about that because I do believe that is a contributing factor.
- 20:49Justin Keltner-1: But again, it could be managed.
- 20:52Justin Keltner-1: It could be mitigated.
- 20:52Justin Keltner-1: It could be avoided altogether.
- 20:55Justin Keltner-1: We can fix it if we need to fix it.
- 20:58Justin Keltner-1: Um, and then it goes into the financial considerations as a great divorce.
- 21:01Justin Keltner-1: 'cause you're dividing assets, the retirement savings, healthcare costs, like you're asking for a harder life because of your feelings, is what I'm getting from this.
- 21:10Justin Keltner-1: Um, a lot of the time.
- 21:11Justin Keltner-1: And again, it could just be a cultural thing because I am Latina and I totally understand that my cultural understanding of this may just be different.
- 21:20Justin Keltner-1: Um, but this is a huge difference, as I've said over and over and over again between the United States and the rest of the world.
- 21:27Justin Keltner-1: Is that Americans will find a way for their lives to be harder based on their own personal feelings and their own personal happiness.
- 21:34Justin Keltner-1: Then, then, then they make massive life altering decisions based on their feelings.
- 21:41Justin Keltner-1: And then.
- 21:43Justin Keltner-1: What happens is they find out a few years down the road that that was a mistake and they shouldn't have done it because now their life is harder.
- 21:49Justin Keltner-1: This is why I talk so much about emotional regulation on this channel and making decisions from an emotionally regulated state and learning how to become a healthy, mature person.
- 22:00Justin Keltner-1: Because when you become a healthy, mature person, you can avoid a lot of this.
- 22:04Justin Keltner-1: You can avoid so much of it, right?
- 22:07Justin Keltner-1: Because you'll have other interests besides your kids and other forms of connection.
- 22:11Justin Keltner-1: You would've been talking about money the whole time.
- 22:13Justin Keltner-1: Um, you would have the maturity that when things get difficult, you stay with it.
- 22:18Justin Keltner-1: And again, it could just be a cultural thing.
- 22:20Justin Keltner-1: Um, yeah.
- 22:22Justin Keltner-1: The only thing I've gotten from this is that it all comes down to feelings.
- 22:25Justin Keltner-1: Which is the, um, it's the general idea that I've gotten from the message that men and women are getting in the United States, which is then causing a lot of issues, uh, in the society.
- 22:37Justin Keltner-1: We've gone way overboard with the concept of personal happiness and feelings, and we need to learn how to be mature again, because in other countries it's more about values, uh, and it's not necessarily your feelings, but it's kind of.
- 22:52Justin Keltner-1: Your feelings.
- 22:53Justin Keltner-1: We need to be mature adults here.
- 22:55Justin Keltner-1: So that's what's going on with great divorce.
- 22:57Justin Keltner-1: That is what's going on.
- 22:58Justin Keltner-1: That is my opinion, again, based on coaching women and.
- 23:01Justin Keltner-1: For 15 years in different areas of their lives, having to change my own mindset about a lot of the stuff, uh, in my marriage, having literally coached people on finances for seven, eight years, I can tell you a lot about how much people don't talk about money and how that will absolutely, uh, lead to a divorce.
- 23:18Justin Keltner-1: Let me know if you want me to do more videos on money and how to talk about that and how to bring more in and all that.
- 23:24Justin Keltner-1: Let me know in the comments'cause I spent a lot of time in that space.
- 23:28Justin Keltner-1: Um, but yeah.
- 23:30Justin Keltner-1: We are, we're seeing divorce skyrocket over the age of 50.
- 23:33Justin Keltner-1: Good news being that divorce in other age groups.
- 23:37Justin Keltner-1: Uh, so under the age of 50 we're seeing less divorce rates there.
- 23:41Justin Keltner-1: I think that's a good thing.
- 23:42Justin Keltner-1: I think people are working on themselves.
- 23:44Justin Keltner-1: I think people are going to therapy.
- 23:46Justin Keltner-1: I think people are watching YouTube channels like this.
- 23:48Justin Keltner-1: I think people don't wanna make the mistakes that other generations have made.
- 23:52Justin Keltner-1: So that gives me a lot of hope and it should give you a lot of hope as well.
- 23:57So as you can see, this gray divorce phenomenon is quite interesting.
- 24:01I think it's interesting to see things that are going on, but main conclusion that I got from this based on my 15 years of experience, coaching women in different areas of their lives, traveling around multiple countries, living in multiple countries.
- 24:15There's just emotional immaturity running the show, and we know that because a lot of things in the United States have been based off of people's feelings for a long time, which is a very huge difference from what you see in other cultures and other countries that, uh, don't have such high, uh.
- 24:31Divorce rates and don't have as much of a collapse of the society that is going on.
- 24:37Good news being that younger generations in the United States are now getting divorced less.
- 24:42I think it's at a 50 year low from what I saw.
- 24:45This is fantastic because it means that people are starting to take.
- 24:49Responsibility for relationships.
- 24:51I mean, I see it here growing this YouTube channel.
- 24:54I see it on my, you know, husband's business, uh, and things like that with people starting to make different decisions for their lives and trying to heal a lot of the things that caused a lot of issues for previous generations.
- 25:08So that does give me a lot of hope.
- 25:10Thank you so much for giving me your time today.
- 25:12If you liked it.
- 25:13Give it a, like, it helps us get it in front of more people..
- 25:17In addition to that, if you want any trainings on male psychology, how the psychology of commitment works, feminine energy, which a lot of these women probably did not have, is part of what I'm seeing as a common denominator on all these reaction videos.
- 25:31And you can check out everything in the description below.
- 25:35Uh, there's also gonna be a QR code around here somewhere.
- 25:38Where you can check that out as well.
- 25:40Make sure to subscribe and hit the notification, but also you don't miss any of these videos, whether it's a reaction video, a training video, or a live.
- 25:48We're going to be coming out more to talk more about, uh, these relationship issues that are coming out in the United States, these cultural issues that are happening all over the world, and how we can do our part in making the world a better place.
- 26:03So thanks for giving me your time today, and I'll catch you on the next one.