Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / #HURDLEMOMENT: How To Beat Imposter Syndrome & Own Your Value

Transcript

#HURDLEMOMENT: How To Beat Imposter Syndrome & Own Your Value · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

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  Speaker 1: It is how we react to our thoughts and feelings
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  Speaker 1: that really matters, and it is so important to remember
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  Speaker 1: that that is our opportunity we get to react. What's
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  Speaker 1: going on Hurdler's Emily A Badi. Here you are listening
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  Speaker 1: to another installment of Hurdle Moment from Hurdle, a wellness
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  Speaker 1: focused podcast to reconnect with everyone from your favorite athletes
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  Speaker 1: to top experts and industry CEOs about their highest highs,
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  Speaker 1: toughest moments, and everything in between. We all go through
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  Speaker 1: hurdles in life, and my goal through these discussions is
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  Speaker 1: to empower you to better navigate yours and move with
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  Speaker 1: intention so that you can try towards your own big
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  Speaker 1: potential and of course have some fun along the way.
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  Speaker 1: For today's installment of Moment, I'm kicking it old school style.
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  Speaker 2: I've been doing three episodes a week of.
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  Speaker 1: The show for over two years now, I want to
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  Speaker 1: say practically three. And when Hurdle the cadence of the
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  Speaker 1: show went from two episodes a week to three episodes
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  Speaker 1: a week, I wanted to make it a priority to
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  Speaker 1: have more often than not a guest on Wednesdays just
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  Speaker 1: to spice up the flow of the show and give
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  Speaker 1: you more than just emily sitting behind the mic episode
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  Speaker 1: after episode now. A while back, before this happened, I
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  Speaker 1: often did Hurdle Moment episode solo, and today I'm bringing
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  Speaker 1: back that vibe.
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  Speaker 2: It's a solo episode of Curdle.
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  Speaker 1: Moment, and I am tackling the conversation topic of imposter syndrome.
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  Speaker 1: It's something that I get a lot of messages about
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  Speaker 1: and it always makes me laugh when a message comes
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  Speaker 1: in and it's something like, ham, I'm just curious.
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  Speaker 2: Do you ever struggle with imposter syndrome? Tell you something.
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  Speaker 1: Whenever you're going to ask a question and you're wondering
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  Speaker 1: if this is something that someone else experiences, the answer
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  Speaker 1: to your question is probably yes. More often than not,
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  Speaker 1: the world of social media can make things feel super isolating.
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  Speaker 1: It can make us feel like whatever problems or issues
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  Speaker 1: that we may be going through and experiencing, they are
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  Speaker 1: ours and ours alone. But I can promise you that
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  Speaker 1: that is certainly not the case. You are never ever
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  Speaker 1: alone in how you feel or what you're going through.
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  Speaker 1: So let's just make sure we put that out there
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  Speaker 1: first and foremost. And so to wind it back to
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  Speaker 1: imposter syndrome, that is exactly what I'm going to talk
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  Speaker 1: to you about today. Not only am I going to
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  Speaker 1: start by defining it, but then I'll share some of
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  Speaker 1: my personal story of navigating imposter syndrome and the tips
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  Speaker 1: and tricks that had worked for me successfully to call
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  Speaker 1: my way out of the depths of comparison, because at
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  Speaker 1: the end of the day, a lot of what we
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  Speaker 1: feel to be imposter syndrome is rooted in our natural
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  Speaker 1: inclination to compare whatever it is that we're doing to
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  Speaker 1: whatever it is that someone else is doing.
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  Speaker 2: Make sure you're following along with Hurdle over on.
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  Speaker 1: Social It's over at Hurdle Podcast. I am over at
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  Speaker 1: Emily a Body. And speaking of social media, if you
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  Speaker 1: love the show, and I know you do, because you
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  Speaker 1: come back week after week, you call yourself a hurdler,
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  Speaker 1: I'm so lucky to have you and do me a
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  Speaker 1: solid not only rate and review the show wherever you're
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  Speaker 1: listening to this episode right now, but also share it
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  Speaker 1: wherever you want to share it, Share it with a friend,
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  Speaker 1: share it on social media Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, wherever. Your
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  Speaker 1: shares mean the world to me. That help us grow
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  Speaker 1: the community, and in turn, that helps me keep doing
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  Speaker 1: what I'm doing, So share it wherever you want.
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  Speaker 2: And with that, let's get to it.
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  Speaker 1: Let's get to hurdling imposter syndrome. I think it's important
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  Speaker 1: for us to start out doing two things. First and foremost,
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  Speaker 1: I want to make sure that I tell you how
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  Speaker 1: I'm arriving at this conversation. So for the last six years,
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  Speaker 1: I have been working for myself. I'm an entrepreneur, and
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  Speaker 1: in my journey thus far as an entrepreneur, I've really
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  Speaker 1: had to learn the importance of being my own biggest
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  Speaker 1: type man and understand that more often than not, I
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  Speaker 1: really don't have time to let imposter syndrome take things
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  Speaker 1: from me, and so if I'm the only thing that's
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  Speaker 1: standing in my own way, then that's a problem.
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  Speaker 2: So there's that.
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  Speaker 1: The second thing that I want you to know that
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  Speaker 1: I bring to the table is that I am a
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  Speaker 1: certified professional coach.
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  Speaker 2: You can like in that to a life coach.
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  Speaker 1: I recently, and I've talked about this on the show,
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  Speaker 1: but just completed my certification program that lasted roughly seven
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  Speaker 1: months and involved almost three hundred hours of coursework between
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  Speaker 1: coaching calls, different seminars online, as well as three different
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  Speaker 1: three day modules learning everything there is to help individuals
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  Speaker 1: coach individuals get out of their own way and go
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  Speaker 1: after their big goals. During that certification program, I learned
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  Speaker 1: a lot about how to help individuals overcome their gales.
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  Speaker 1: And gales is an acronym for gremlins, assumptions, interpretations, and
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  Speaker 1: limiting beliefs, all different energy blocks that can hold someone
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  Speaker 1: back from going after their big goals and their big dreams.
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  Speaker 1: And yes, imposter syndrome can be the result of a gale.
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  Speaker 2: Cool. Now we're on the same page. So that was
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  Speaker 2: the first order of business.
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  Speaker 1: The second order of business is me breaking down for
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  Speaker 1: you what impostor syndrome is so loosely defined. Imposter syndrome
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  Speaker 1: is doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud period.
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  Speaker 1: Now it disproportionately affects what all deemed to be high
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  Speaker 1: achieving people, so those who may find it difficult to
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  Speaker 1: accept their accomplishments. Now these people will question whether or
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  Speaker 1: not they are deserving of accolades. The term was originally
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  Speaker 1: coined as quote unquote imposter phenomenon in nineteen seventy eight
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  Speaker 1: by two different psychologists that go by the name Pauline
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  Speaker 1: Rose Clance and Suzanne Emes. I might be butchering their
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  Speaker 1: last names, and in that case, I am extremely sorry.
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  Speaker 2: But in their.
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  Speaker 1: Research, which actually was focused on high achieving women, they
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  Speaker 1: found that despite outstanding academic and professional accomplishments, who experience
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  Speaker 1: the impost phenomenon persist in believing that they are really
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  Speaker 1: not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise, which
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  Speaker 1: is just so sad, right, it's so so unfortunate. Know
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  Speaker 1: this to be true. Before we go on, the word
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  Speaker 1: everyone would be probably too broad of a term, but
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  Speaker 1: most everyone experiences imposter syndrome at one point or another.
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  Speaker 1: I'm talking from Emily Body sitting at her desk in
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  Speaker 1: Brooklyn to I believe. I've read interviews with Michelle Obama
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  Speaker 1: and the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg, both of whom admitted
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  Speaker 1: to navigating impostor syndrome. Now, typically speaking, when someone experiences
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  Speaker 1: impostor syndrome, there are a lot of different feelings that
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  Speaker 1: can come into the mix. I'm talking discomfort, second guessing,
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  Speaker 1: mild anxiety, and to reiterate, women of all different levels
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  Speaker 1: of confidence and abilities are experiencing imposter syndrome.
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  Speaker 2: Period.
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  Speaker 1: I'll share a little bit about my experience. Literally, yesterday
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  Speaker 1: I got a notification that someone said something not superstellar
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  Speaker 1: about me on the internet, and I allowed, briefly this
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  Speaker 1: person that I don't know to make me feel like
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  Speaker 1: an impostor in what I do.
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  Speaker 2: I was texting with a friend and I told her
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  Speaker 2: what I.
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  Speaker 1: Read, and in that moment, she totally checked me as
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  Speaker 1: my impostor syndrome started to take hold, and she said, Emily,
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  Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you what you already know, and
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  Speaker 1: this will be a tip as we move along here.
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  Speaker 1: She said, you have a top one hundred health and
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  Speaker 1: fitness podcast. You collaborate and work with some of the
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  Speaker 1: best brands in your industry, and you have created a
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  Speaker 1: community that is passionate and consists of women from around
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  Speaker 1: the world that want to live healthier, happier, more motivated lives. Literally, verbatim,
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  Speaker 1: that's exactly what she said to me over text. And
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  Speaker 1: I sat there and I read that and I said,
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  Speaker 1: this is all facts, and.
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  Speaker 2: I needed that.
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  Speaker 1: I needed that so badly. Fast forward to today, I
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  Speaker 1: had a meeting that was very exciting to me, and
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  Speaker 1: I caught myself earlier today thinking about what would happen
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  Speaker 1: if the meeting didn't go as I hoped, and I
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  Speaker 1: stopped myself right there because I realized I caught myself
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  Speaker 1: in that moment, allowing imposter syndrome to kick in, allowing
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  Speaker 1: my thoughts to drift into maybe they's someone more qualified
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  Speaker 1: to do this idea that I have. Maybe they're going
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  Speaker 1: to look to someone else to jump onto this opportunity,
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  Speaker 1: and that thinking did not and does not serve me. So,
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  Speaker 1: now that you have some insight into how imposter syndrome
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  Speaker 1: has crept in for me in just the last two days,
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  Speaker 1: a parent that it happens quite often, I want to
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  Speaker 1: offer up some ways that we can over or come
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  Speaker 1: imposter syndrome, because again, most everyone experiences it. The first
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  Speaker 1: tip too overcoming imposter syndrome is to acknowledge it.
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  Speaker 2: Period acknowledge that.
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  Speaker 1: You are experiencing imposter syndrome and recognize those impostor feelings.
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  Speaker 1: It is so important to understand that again, imposter syndrome
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  Speaker 1: is a common experience and you are not alone in
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  Speaker 1: feeling this way. It is impossible to change a behavior
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  Speaker 1: or do something about a behavior unless you take the
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  Speaker 1: time to accept that the behavior or the feeling is occurring.
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  Speaker 1: For instance, if there is someone who wants to have
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  Speaker 1: a more regular movement practice, a more regular exercise routine,
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  Speaker 1: that won't happen until this person says, Okay, listen, I
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  Speaker 1: haven't been moving like I want to. I haven't been
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  Speaker 1: integrating regular or exercise into my week, and I know
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  Speaker 1: that I want to do something about it.
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  Speaker 2: If you don't admit that, if you.
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  Speaker 1: Don't come to grips with what's actually happening, then you
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  Speaker 1: can't move forward and you can't change it. So step
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  Speaker 1: number one to overcoming imposter syndrome is acknowledging that you
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  Speaker 1: are experiencing it step number two. Once someone acknowledges their
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  Speaker 1: imposter feelings, the next trick is to reframe your thoughts.
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  Speaker 1: So when you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself,
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  Speaker 1: do yourself a favor and try to replace those thoughts
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  Speaker 1: with positive affirmation. So I'll give you an example. Instead
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  Speaker 1: of saying I'm not good enough, say I am capable
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  Speaker 1: and competent for me. Let's go back to my meeting
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  Speaker 1: that I had earlier today. I gave myself all of
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  Speaker 1: these sentences. I was saying all of these things to
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  Speaker 1: myself about why maybe I wasn't the right fit for
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  Speaker 1: an opportunity. And when I caught myself saying not the
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  Speaker 1: nicest things, dousing myself in imposter syndrome, I put a
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  Speaker 1: stop to it.
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  Speaker 2: I noticed it was happening.
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  Speaker 1: I had that awareness, and then I said, I am
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  Speaker 1: qualified and capable to take on this opportunity. I am
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  Speaker 1: qualified and capable to take on this opportunity. One simple
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  Speaker 1: sentence that completely shifted my inner dialogue and better prepared
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  Speaker 1: me to step into this meeting, albeit on zoom, and
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  Speaker 1: do so with more confidence, the confidence that my credentials,
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  Speaker 1: what I am capable of is worth period. Affirmations in
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  Speaker 1: general can be just such a major game changer, one
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  Speaker 1: that I am leaning into right now. I am working
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  Speaker 1: on kind of rejiggering some of the habits that I
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  Speaker 1: know make me feel good in my body. And I
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  Speaker 1: say to myself every single day today, I will feel
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  Speaker 1: and I will make decisions that will make me feel great.
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  Speaker 1: And it's simple and to the point, and I keep
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  Speaker 1: coming back to it. I keep coming back to that sentence,
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  Speaker 1: I will make decisions that make me feel great. I
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  Speaker 1: make decisions that make me feel great. I can keep
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  Speaker 1: saying it over and over and over again, and I
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  Speaker 1: think about what I'm about to do and put myself
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  Speaker 1: ten fifteen minutes from now and ask myself, is this
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  Speaker 1: action I'm about to take, this thing I'm about to eat,
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  Speaker 1: this conversation I'm about to have, this reaction I may
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  Speaker 1: have instead of waiting and responding whatever I am about
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  Speaker 1: to embark on. Is this an action that I will
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  Speaker 1: be proud of, my future self will be proud of,
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  Speaker 1: And so that affirmation it really works for me, and
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  Speaker 1: I would encourage you to find one that works for you.
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  Speaker 1: In general, yes, but also when it comes to navigating
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  Speaker 1: imposter syndrome, I'll go back to that first suggestion, I
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  Speaker 1: am capable and competent. I am capable and competent.
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  Speaker 2: And then my next.
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  Speaker 1: Recommendation, when it comes to overcoming imposter syndrome, develop a
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  Speaker 1: support system. I mentioned to you how helpful it was
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  Speaker 1: for me to reach out to a friend and get
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  Speaker 1: honest about my feelings, acknowledging what was going on, and
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  Speaker 1: then lean into her support to get through that less
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  Speaker 1: than ideal situation. There are people in your life that
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  Speaker 1: care about you, that want to support you, that want
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  Speaker 1: to be there for you, and those people won't judge
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  Speaker 1: you when you come to them and tell them, Hey,
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  Speaker 1: this is something that I'm dealing with. Sometimes we need
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  Speaker 1: someone that has an outside POV to come into a
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  Speaker 1: situation and help us zoom out. It can be so
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  Speaker 1: so helpful to talk to someone who understands what you're
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  Speaker 1: going through and then can offer encouragement and support that
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  Speaker 1: we all deserve right This can be a friend, a
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  Speaker 1: family member, or even a therapist.
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  Speaker 2: A life coach.
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  Speaker 1: And then the last tip that I want to bring
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  Speaker 1: into the mix when it comes to navigating and overcoming
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  Speaker 1: imposter syndrome is be able to articulate your strengths and
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  Speaker 1: separate fact from feeling.
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  Speaker 2: Like I said, I've been there.
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  Speaker 1: I've had moments where I to struggle from imposter syndrome,
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  Speaker 1: and I'm sure I will have many more to come.
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  Speaker 1: But in those moments, a very helpful tool is being
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  Speaker 1: able to write down and commit to the facts. Write
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  Speaker 1: down on a literal piece of paper in front of you,
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  Speaker 1: what is true. So, going into my meeting today, keep
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  Speaker 1: going into this example, I knew this to be true.
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  Speaker 1: I have delivered keynote talks keynotes to groups of fifteen
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  Speaker 1: hundred people or more through my work with Hurdle I
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  Speaker 1: have been able to collaborate with some of the biggest
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  Speaker 1: brands in the health and wellness space on different events,
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  Speaker 1: hosting one on ones, fireside chats.
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  Speaker 2: And panel conversations.
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  Speaker 1: I've made a living doing this for years now, and
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  Speaker 1: knowing all of those things to be true, why would
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  Speaker 1: I be any less qualified to do something similar to
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  Speaker 1: other things that I have already done. And the answer
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  Speaker 1: is that I'm not. I'm not less qualified than I
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  Speaker 1: was yesterday. But today my anxiety snuck in. The gremlin
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  Speaker 1: snuck in and made me doubt myself for just a moment.
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  Speaker 2: And you know what, that's okay.
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  Speaker 1: Because then I used all of the tools in my
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  Speaker 1: toolbox to come back, to come and move forward again.
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  Speaker 1: Whatever you're experiencing, whatever you are feeling, you are not
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  Speaker 1: the only one. Know that most everyone experiences imposter syndrome
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  Speaker 1: from time to time. It is part of a human
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  Speaker 1: condition period. It is how we react to our thoughts
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  Speaker 1: and feelings that really matters, and it is so important
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  Speaker 1: to remember that that is our opportunity. We get to react,
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  Speaker 1: we get to move forward, we get to overcome imposter
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  Speaker 1: syndrome because we.
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  Speaker 2: Are capable of that.
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  Speaker 1: You are capable of that, and it starts with being
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  Speaker 1: your own biggest hype man. Now, don't get me wrong,
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  Speaker 1: I say that all the time right, that we owe
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  Speaker 1: that to ourselves, that the first step to getting anything
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  Speaker 1: that you want is believing that you deserve it, believing
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  Speaker 1: that you are capable. And despite having those thoughts, despite
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  Speaker 1: knowing that deep in your gut, that doesn't mean that
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  Speaker 1: imposter syndrome is not going to sneak in from time
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  Speaker 1: to time. I reiterate, it's normal and it's okay, and
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  Speaker 1: now you have these tools in your toolbox to combat
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  Speaker 1: it when it sneaks in at more than likely the
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  Speaker 1: least opportune times, because that is how it happens. I
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  Speaker 1: want you to remember this. If your struggling with imposter syndrome,
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  Speaker 1: you're not alone, and there are steps that you can
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  Speaker 1: use to overcome it. As always, I'm always looking for
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  Speaker 1: your questions to use in upcoming episodes. So if there's
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: a topic that you want me to cover, a specific
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  Speaker 1: question that you have, I am all ears.
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  Speaker 2: I would love to shed some light on it in
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  Speaker 2: the show.
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  Speaker 1: The link to leave me a question of voice messages
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: in the show notes, and as always, the dms are
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  Speaker 1: open and You can reach out over email at Hello
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: at hurdle dot us. Now go on, you've got this
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  Speaker 1: another hurdle cogrid. Catch you guys next time.