Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What Happens When You Laugh In A Narcissist's Face

Transcript

What Happens When You Laugh In A Narcissist's Face · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful people?
• 0:02
  Today we're going to be talking about what happens when you
• 0:05
  laugh at a narcissist, when a narcissist or toxic person,
• 0:08
  whoever is the butt of the joke, when everybody is pointing and
• 0:13
  laughing or snickering at that toxic narcissistic person, I'm
• 0:18
  laughing. Think about it.
• 0:20
  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
• 0:22
  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
• 0:24
  the Narcissist Code. So boom, welcome back folks,
• 0:44
  welcome back, welcome back y'all.
• 0:46
  I know y'all saw me laughing at the beginning because it's not
• 0:49
  funny but it is just like in the mind of a narcissist how what
• 0:54
  goes on when they are laughing at other people and whatnot.
• 0:58
  But if you haven't already, y'all make sure you check out
• 1:00
  the kids book. Remember it's not your fault
• 1:02
  it's available on Amazon. It's a good conversation starter
• 1:05
  to talk to your kids about toxic relationship dynamics, telling
• 1:08
  the truth, all of the other good stuff.
• 1:10
  Y'all remember it's not your fault it's on Amazon.
• 1:15
  But yes y'all what happens when you laugh at a narcissist?
• 1:18
  Like when a narcissist is the butt of the joke.
• 1:20
  So first of all, y'all let me go and get this out the way.
• 1:22
  Narcissists love to pick on you, right?
• 1:25
  They love to pick on you. They love for you to be the butt
• 1:28
  of the joke. They love to point fingers and
• 1:30
  laugh and get everybody a Kiki kin at you, right?
• 1:33
  They love that when that happens, when they are the,
• 1:37
  they're not the they're they're the center of attention because
• 1:41
  they started the the kind of laugh circle, right?
• 1:43
  Y'all seen the the wave at a, at a sports event that right there,
• 1:47
  they started the wave. So they're happy, right?
• 1:49
  I started it. I got the wave going on.
• 1:51
  So yeah, give me the attention. So they love it when they're on
• 1:55
  that end of it, when they're on the giving end of it, right?
• 1:58
  They love to give it, they love to give it out.
• 2:01
  They love to dish it out like a like a car dealer, like dealing
• 2:05
  out the the cars in Vegas or something like that.
• 2:07
  They love that right there, right.
• 2:09
  But the other end of the spectrum says that narcissistic
• 2:14
  people, I hate it. This is why I was laughing at
• 2:17
  the beginning of y'all. I'm laughing now 'cause they,
• 2:20
  it's not funny, but it is because I'm a Darcy, y'all.
• 2:22
  And not like when I'm telling y'all these videos.
• 2:25
  I'm putting myself in the shoes of how I used to behave a lot of
• 2:29
  the times, right? I haven't done everything I talk
• 2:30
  about right, But I put myself in the shoes of how I might have
• 2:34
  used to behave or how I might react if I put my if, if I, if
• 2:39
  it were to happen to me, right? So it's just funny thinking
• 2:41
  about it 'cause I hate it being the butt of the joke.
• 2:45
  I think everybody who's who's dealt with the narcissist or a
• 2:48
  tax person or whatever, I think everybody can attest to this,
• 2:51
  that narcissistic people, like can dish it, but they can't take
• 2:58
  it, right? They love to be the card dealer,
• 3:01
  but they cannot be the card receiver they hate.
• 3:04
  Yeah, they hate it. You know, even if they started
• 3:07
  at first, even if they started to joke, the last circle that
• 3:11
  you, if they started picking on you or whoever, right?
• 3:13
  It doesn't always have to be you.
• 3:14
  It could be somebody else, right?
• 3:16
  Even if they started picking on somebody else first, the other
• 3:19
  person first, the target 1st. They're going to punish
• 3:22
  everybody, but like they're going to be angry as hell when
• 3:24
  it comes back to them. Even if they got a laugh first
• 3:28
  or people would just started joking on the other person or
• 3:30
  people started, you know, hating the other person because it's
• 3:32
  not always laughing at him, right?
• 3:34
  They started turning on the other person.
• 3:36
  The narcissist would feel good, but when our eyes are on the
• 3:41
  narcissist or the toxic person and if the script gets flipped,
• 3:47
  they out, there's a few different ways they can handle
• 3:50
  it. The first way is they can just
• 3:52
  start laughing along with it and play, play along, right?
• 3:54
  They're not like, but like they can play alone, but their
• 3:56
  feelings are hurt, right? The exterior is going to be
• 3:59
  different than the interior. So they were like, yeah, that's
• 4:02
  hilarious, isn't it? You got, you got me, y'all got
• 4:07
  me. Just laugh at that.
• 4:11
  It's so funny, right? Nobody smiles like this, y'all,
• 4:18
  This is not a real smile. If they're smiling like this,
• 4:22
  they're plotting their vengeance on you.
• 4:26
  But people don't smile like that.
• 4:27
  So that's something you have to prep for as well because they're
• 4:29
  coming for you and that aspect of things as well, right?
• 4:32
  They're going to try to get you like that too.
• 4:34
  So as a diagnosed narcissist, like if they not even as a
• 4:38
  diagnosed nurses, if they're smiling and long and nodding, it
• 4:43
  doesn't mean that they're feeling good.
• 4:46
  I'll say that, right? A lot of narcissistic people
• 4:49
  like to posture and make it seem like nothing effects them.
• 4:53
  But you know, as their partner or child or parent or whoever it
• 4:57
  is, you know that it affects them on a deep level.
• 5:01
  It affects them on a deep level. So what it affected them on a
• 5:04
  deep level, they tend to get mad as hell later on, right?
• 5:08
  Even if they are just laughing along at it, they'll get mad at
• 5:11
  later on, right? They'll hold a grudge against
• 5:14
  everybody that laughed at them, whoever started to joke on them,
• 5:18
  whoever. Even if the person is just
• 5:20
  rebutting something that they say.
• 5:22
  Even if the person is just giving them back something that
• 5:24
  they did, like the narcissist started it, the other person
• 5:27
  finished it, and that a narcissist is holding a grudge,
• 5:30
  they're mad as hell, but they're not showing it, right?
• 5:32
  They're just laughing along and joking along.
• 5:33
  Yeah, that's so funny. It's funny, right?
• 5:37
  They're taking a mental like they're taking a mental note.
• 5:39
  They're taking like snapshots. If everybody laughing at their,
• 5:45
  you know, they're going to get you back, they're going to hold
• 5:48
  a vengeance against you. They might not ever talk to you
• 5:51
  again, right? Hey, the joke on them enough.
• 5:53
  They might not ever speak to you again or they speak on that
• 5:55
  person again. They might not ever want to go
• 5:57
  around that person again. They might start spraying rumors
• 5:59
  or a smear campaign on that person.
• 6:00
  They might cut that person off. You know, if they have a
• 6:02
  position of power over that person, they might fire them,
• 6:05
  they might break up with them, whatever the case may be, right?
• 6:08
  This happens to so many people. So you this is something you
• 6:10
  have to prepare for as well. But I also say this narcissist
• 6:15
  people are not always going to react like they're right.
• 6:17
  Some of them will just go along with the joke and pretend, but
• 6:19
  some of them will completely shut down.
• 6:21
  Right. Do y'all have the passive
• 6:22
  aggressive narcissist that doesn't give it back to them
• 6:25
  that completely shuts down? This happens too.
• 6:27
  Some of them will absolutely shut the hell down.
• 6:31
  Oh you know once they get joked on, when people start laughing
• 6:34
  at them. There's so much shame that goes
• 6:36
  on. Y'all, and this is for every
• 6:37
  type of response. There's so much shame that goes
• 6:40
  on. It's crazy.
• 6:42
  It is, it is crazy. The shame that goes on inside a
• 6:45
  narcissist mind is absolutely insane.
• 6:48
  So they'll keep doing this type of stuff over and over and over
• 6:51
  again because they feel like they get a direct benefit from
• 6:54
  doing it. So if I get a direct benefit
• 6:57
  from it, why would I stop doing it, right?
• 6:59
  But like, shame is a great provocation for narcissist.
• 7:03
  Shame makes people shut down. I don't know what my mind you
• 7:04
  wouldn't like right there. Shame it make makes narcissists
• 7:07
  shut down or act erratically. In this case right here, this
• 7:11
  particular type of passive aggressive narcissist, they shut
• 7:13
  down, they shut down, they get inside the treatment, they walk
• 7:16
  away from the situation and you everybody can tell, hey, what
• 7:19
  what's going on? Your feelings hurt that you
• 7:21
  started it. What's up like you, even if they
• 7:23
  even if the narcissist didn't start it, they don't always
• 7:25
  start it right, but sometimes they become the butt of the
• 7:27
  joke. You know, not every narcissist
• 7:29
  is going to be big and strong and tall and just, you know,
• 7:32
  just in power. Some of them are going to be
• 7:33
  passive aggressive covert narcissist, right?
• 7:36
  And their feelings are very, very easy to hurt and they don't
• 7:38
  really have any power. So they take it out of their
• 7:40
  fight, their family, their wife and kids, their husband and
• 7:43
  kids, they take it. Everybody else gets it.
• 7:44
  You know, the people that they do have power over, they get it,
• 7:47
  right? So some of them will absolutely
• 7:49
  shut down, not just at the party, not just at the event,
• 7:53
  they'll shut down and home behind closed doors too.
• 7:56
  They'll take that anger home with them.
• 7:57
  Whatever anger that they have, they'll take it home with them,
• 8:00
  right? And that sucks.
• 8:02
  That sucks so badly if you're dealing with this person because
• 8:04
  again, you're just trying to move forward.
• 8:06
  You're just trying to do this type of stuff.
• 8:07
  You're just trying to heal and grow.
• 8:09
  This is what this is what happens.
• 8:11
  I promise you, you know, So some of them will absolutely shut
• 8:14
  down and just give you the silent treatment stone.
• 8:19
  They'll look, they'll Stonewall you.
• 8:22
  If you're involved, if you're directly involved with the
• 8:23
  narcissist, whether you laughed or not, whether you pointed the
• 8:26
  finger, whether you got in on a joke or not, they'll Stonewall
• 8:30
  you, right? They'll Stonewall you.
• 8:33
  They'll go, they'll sign and treat me you, they'll hurt you
• 8:36
  for something somebody else did because they don't have any
• 8:38
  power over everybody else. And sometimes they want their
• 8:41
  reputation to be intact. So they just hold it in till
• 8:45
  they get in the car. You know, if you deal with a
• 8:47
  narcissist that gets the just the butt of the joke or people
• 8:49
  laughing at them or picking at them, you know when they get in
• 8:52
  the car, it's different again. The car is different.
• 8:55
  They're silent, silent ride home.
• 8:57
  Even though you didn't laugh, even though you might even
• 9:00
  defended them, even though you might have took enough for them.
• 9:01
  It's not enough, right? Shame is taking over shame.
• 9:05
  Look, you might be driving and shame is in the passenger seat.
• 9:07
  Your narcissistic partner is in the back or shame is in the back
• 9:11
  seat with his hands on the shame is in the back seat with his
• 9:14
  hands on the seat. Like a kid.
• 9:16
  Like, are we there yet? Are we there yet?
• 9:17
  Are we there yet? This is shame, the shame
• 9:18
  monster. Are we there yet?
• 9:19
  Are we there yet? Can't wait to get home.
• 9:21
  You're embarrassed, are you Shame is in their ear.
• 9:24
  This happened right here, you know, so I also say this as
• 9:27
  well. This is another way that they
• 9:28
  can react. I know.
• 9:30
  What do you think? What do y'all think?
• 9:31
  How else do you think that a narcissist could react right
• 9:34
  here in this situation, right here?
• 9:37
  Time's up. They can rage out.
• 9:40
  Who, who, who, who? The rager, the raging
• 9:44
  narcissistic person right here, y'all, the raging narcissist.
• 9:47
  Some of them will absolutely lose their damn minds.
• 9:53
  Some of them will absolutely lose their everlasting minds if
• 9:58
  they become the butt of the joke, whether or not they
• 10:00
  started, even if they started, even if they started the the
• 10:03
  laugh and then picking up other people.
• 10:05
  You know, I had a friend, right? I had a very highly narcissistic
• 10:08
  friend, very malignant, very overt, right?
• 10:11
  He would start picking on people and start he because he's loud
• 10:13
  and boisterous. So he would just start ragging
• 10:15
  on people, joking on people or whatever, you know, nagging
• 10:18
  people, whatever the situation may be.
• 10:20
  You know, when people matched his energy or gave it back to
• 10:23
  him, he was shut down. Like that man was shut the hell
• 10:27
  down and not, not shut. He was his, his moral compass
• 10:31
  was shut down. And he would just go off his
• 10:34
  girlfriend, his friends, whoever it was that he felt like was
• 10:37
  laughing at him or picking on him or clowning at him.
• 10:40
  He would just lose his damn mind.
• 10:41
  You get the narcissistic rage Laughing at a narcissist can get
• 10:45
  the narcissistic rage monster to come out right.
• 10:47
  And once they start raging, it's them there impossible to stop
• 10:50
  them. They're beating on their chest,
• 10:52
  they're throwing stuff. They're just screaming and
• 10:54
  crying or whatever the case may be.
• 10:56
  They leave the house. They've used.
• 10:57
  Yeah, some of them will use he he used to use it as an excuse
• 10:59
  to go cheat. He he he had another girl
• 11:01
  pregnant off of a rage episode from people picking on him right
• 11:05
  right after he started. He started it.
• 11:08
  He left, didn't come home the next day.
• 11:09
  Months later, like girl hit him up was like, yeah, we made a
• 11:12
  night right there. They got me pregnant, you know
• 11:14
  what I mean? And that type of stuff happens
• 11:16
  right there, you know, that's in that space right there.
• 11:21
  This is the, this, this is how it goes, you know, So some of
• 11:25
  them will absolutely rage out and lose their minds.
• 11:27
  Maybe not in public. He was very overt.
• 11:30
  He would rage out and lose his mind in front of people.
• 11:32
  He didn't care. He didn't care about his
• 11:34
  reputation. Everybody knew he would try to
• 11:35
  instill fear so nobody else would do that again.
• 11:38
  Right now, I wasn't afraid of him.
• 11:40
  I'm a joke. I'm a joke on everybody to hell
• 11:41
  with that, right? But he would try to instill fear
• 11:44
  in everybody else that would joke on him.
• 11:46
  So you wouldn't do it again because you know how he said how
• 11:48
  crazy get? So Oh hell no, don't they don't
• 11:50
  play with him. He'll go, he'll lose his mind,
• 11:51
  he'll go crazy, right, Which happens.
• 11:54
  So but some of them won't do that in front of everybody
• 11:58
  because they're they're they care about their reputation.
• 12:00
  Not every overt malignant narcissist will do that because
• 12:03
  they they worry about how people will look at them.
• 12:04
  If they're yelling and screaming or losing their minds in front
• 12:07
  of a big crowd of people, some of them will lose it, some of
• 12:10
  them will lose it, right? So some of them behind will wait
• 12:13
  till they get in the car. They didn't lose their minds
• 12:16
  when they get laughed after they got laughed at.
• 12:17
  They didn't defend themselves in front of people.
• 12:19
  They just lose their minds when they get in the car.
• 12:21
  They're yelling and screaming at you.
• 12:23
  They're yelling and screaming at the kids.
• 12:24
  If y'all have kids, they're throwing stuff, they're punching
• 12:27
  the steering wheel, they're hidden in the dashboard.
• 12:29
  They're doing all kinds of stuff in the vehicle to just lose
• 12:33
  their minds. You like, and you might not even
• 12:34
  done anything. You might have laughed.
• 12:36
  You might have been part of the picking on him.
• 12:38
  But like, if you've been conditioned to not do this, then
• 12:41
  you didn't laugh. You didn't say anything.
• 12:42
  You just stood back there and they still take it out on you
• 12:45
  because they're cowards, right? They're scared.
• 12:47
  They're scared to joke back. They can did again.
• 12:50
  They can dish it, but they cannot take it.
• 12:53
  So do you have the narcissist out there that doesn't dish it?
• 12:56
  Yeah, there's some of them that don't dish it, right?
• 12:58
  There's some very passive aggressive, you know,
• 13:00
  introverted narcissist, y'all, Not every single narcissist is
• 13:03
  going to be extroverted and and try to dress the best and have
• 13:06
  the nicest car or whatever the situation may be, whatever the
• 13:08
  case may be, right? Not every one of them are going
• 13:11
  to behave the same way. So but you do have the malignant
• 13:15
  ones. I mean, some of them that would
• 13:16
  get behind closed doors, be yelling and screaming, throwing
• 13:19
  stuff, break their phone, kick you up, kick you up, be driving,
• 13:22
  start speeding home or start speeding down the road, kick you
• 13:27
  out of a moving, try to kick you out of a moving car, hit you,
• 13:30
  put their hands on you, put their hands on you.
• 13:31
  Whatever the case may be, they lose their minds.
• 13:33
  No narcissist out here likes to go back and forth bar for bar,
• 13:36
  right? They tend to shut down, you
• 13:39
  know, they tend to shut down in some way, shape or form.
• 13:41
  And but they it's got to go somewhere.
• 13:42
  The energy has to go somewhere. They have to release it
• 13:45
  somewhere. So in order to release it and
• 13:47
  get it out of the systems, a lot of them will absolutely lose
• 13:50
  their minds on you. They'll take it out on you.
• 13:53
  They'll just start hammering away at you, their start being
• 13:57
  just evil to you, you know, but this is part of it.
• 14:01
  This is part of what you get when you're dealing with an
• 14:03
  abuser, abusive, manipulative, toxic ass person.
• 14:06
  They don't care. They want, they care how much it
• 14:08
  can serve them. They care about how much it
• 14:10
  would affect them. They care about what they can
• 14:12
  get and how they can go about getting it right.
• 14:14
  They don't want to be laughed at.
• 14:15
  They don't want to be picked on it.
• 14:16
  They want, they want to be the center of attention, but not the
• 14:19
  center of attention. What everybody is, they feel
• 14:22
  shame and they feel like they're being demeaned and whatnot.
• 14:25
  If you're laughing at a narcissist, if you, you know,
• 14:27
  you catch yourself, just know that they going to get you back.
• 14:35
  They going to tag, they going to tag you back.
• 14:39
  I promise you they're going to find a way to tag you back.
• 14:41
  It is not on you. I promise you it's not on you.
• 14:43
  Like there's nothing you can do to mitigate it, right?
• 14:45
  Like I said, you can defend them.
• 14:46
  You can, you can, you can like you can yell and scream and and
• 14:50
  you can joke back on their behalf.
• 14:51
  You can yell and scream at other people on their behalf and guess
• 14:54
  what they'll be like you emasculated me.
• 14:56
  You make me look like less of a man.
• 14:57
  You embarrass me, blah, blah, blah.
• 14:59
  There's no winning for you sometimes, y'all.
• 15:01
  I feel like that's what something I have to tell you.
• 15:03
  There is no winning sometimes when you're dealing with this
• 15:05
  type of person, this type of person, I think dynamic.
• 15:06
  All right, maybe with y'all. Thank y'all for tuning in.
• 15:09
  Make sure to check out the kids book on Amazon.
• 15:11
  Remember, it's not your fault y'all and I have some very
• 15:13
  special merch coming out here pretty soon.
• 15:16
  I'm working on getting released. I got some fire fire fire self
• 15:20
  love hoodies. Ooh they gonna be fire y'all so
• 15:23
  stay tuned for that. Hit the subscribe button if you
• 15:25
  haven't already All I appreciate every single y'all and it's
• 15:27
  always y'all. This is out.
• 15:29
  Peace what's going on Beautiful folks.
• 15:31
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video I truly
• 15:34
  appreciate it. You have no idea.
• 15:35
  If you haven't already hit that subscribe button.
• 15:38
  You made it this far you might as well subscribe.
• 15:41
  It really does help the channel y'all helps me reach more people
• 15:44
  as well. Also I have coaching my courses
• 15:46
  and my support group available at www.mentalillness.net.
• 15:50
  Thank you so much. Make sure you stick around watch
• 15:52
  another video or two. I appreciate it.
• 15:54
  I'm out.