Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / 3 reasons why some narcissists refuse to CHASE YOU

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3 reasons why some narcissists refuse to CHASE YOU · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people? Today,
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  we're talking about why some narcissists don't chase
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  after you when the relationship ends. Some
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  of them will just let you free. Leave
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  you be. Let you go about your way. If
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  you're new here, my name is Lee Hammack. I'm
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  a clinically diagnosed narcissist. And
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back. Welcome
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  back. Welcome back folks. Yes,
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  yes, yes. Why don't some narcissists chase
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  after you? Y 'all come on now. Come
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  through with it today. I need you all to come
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  through and vibe with me. Just
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  snap with me for a little bit real quick. You
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  know, get your minds right. You
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  open your minds up for these nuggets. I'm
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  about to drop on you. These
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  little nuggets. These little narcissist nuggets.
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  Nark nuggets. Don't
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  take my idea. Nark nuggets. It'll
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  be like a little chicken nugget shaped in the form
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  of a devil. But yeah, why doesn't every
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  single narcissist chase you? So
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  if y 'all haven't already, I do have a course about
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  understanding the seventh stages of a narcissistic
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  relationship. It literally goes over in
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  detail. Why you were picked, why you
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  were chosen, all the other good stuff. The
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  link is in the description of every video and podcast
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  I do. But in that course, I talk
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  about how not every narcissist tries to hoover
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  you. Some narcissists will let you
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  go. Some narcissists and tax people
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  will absolutely let you go. Some
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  narcissists and tax people will absolutely release you
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  to the release you into the world. Because
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  one of the main reasons is y 'all, let's keep it hot.
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  Some of them are just done with
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  you. It's the final discard. You
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  finally put your feet down and you're not letting them
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  come back. You blocked them or everything
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  or whatever. And they just feel like it's
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  done. It's over. So
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  they just let you go. They don't chase after you
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  because they feel like it's done. There's
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  no point in reaching out to you anymore because the
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  chances of rejection are way higher now. And
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  narcissists, regardless if y 'all been together for
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  years, they hate being rejected. They
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  hate y 'all. Hate being rejected. Rejection
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  sucks so bad for narcissists because rejection
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  is the precursor to shame. Not
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  like rejection. Like shame follows behind
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  rejection. So if I get rejected, the
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  shame comes right behind it. You
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  know, it's like rejection slaps me, but shame comes
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  behind me and uppercuts me and knocks me out. It's
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  just like shame, like rejection, like get out of
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  here. And then shame is like, combo
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  knocks me up. So they just done with you
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  because the chances of rejection are so high. Like
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  they feel like you've given them like this being
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  realistic. They feel like the relationship
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  has run its course. You know, they feel like they
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  can't come back to you because you might say no.
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  Like you they've done too much.
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  They've been through so much with
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  you and they just like, damn it. This
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  is it. I know I can't reach out to
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  this person. They gonna reject me. I'm
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  embarrassed. They gonna reject me. I'm
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  setting myself up for exposure to the point where
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  I don't want to feel this exposure. I
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  don't want to feel this pain of being exposed. I
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  don't want to deal with the pain and hurt of being
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  exposed. I would rather just, you
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  know, go about it, go our separate ways and just be
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  done with it like that. Yes,
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  there are a lot of narcissists that just think
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  it's over and it's done with. So
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  they don't chase after you. Don't
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  chase behind you. They will just let you go.
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  Right. Pardon the interruption.
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  Just want to let you know that
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  I do have courses and support groups available as
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  well. Courses to help you understand what
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  you went through and support groups to help you
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  during or after the types of relationship. Link
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  in the description and back to the video. Another
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  reason why, the second reason is because they want
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  you to chase them. Pride and ego are so big, right?
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  That they want you to chase
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  them. I'm the prize here. You
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  gonna chase me. You want me, even though, even
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  though, you know what I'm saying, even though I want
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  you, I'm not gonna let you know I want you. I
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  don't want you to chase after me. So
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  if we break up and I want you back, I'm gonna play
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  silent. I'm gonna go silent. The
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  reverse Hoover. I'm gonna leave you alone. I'm
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  gonna make you feel like this is what I wanted the
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  whole time, right? But I want you to come back
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  to me because if you come back to me, if you chase
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  me, then everything that I've done, it's okay. I
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  have a clean slate right now. Too
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  many people are chasing behind a narcissist and you
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  chase behind a narcissist. You
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  bring them with you a magic eraser because you
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  erase everything that they've done to you. In
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  their minds, you erase everything that they've done
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  to you, everything that they put you through,
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  everything they said, it's been erased because if I'm
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  so bad, why are you chasing me, right? If
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  you're so unhappy, if you're so sad, then why
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  the hell are you chasing me? Why
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  the hell are you reaching out to me? Why
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  the hell are you breaking no contact with me if
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  you're so sad, if you're so hurt? If
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  you're in so much pain, then why are you breaking
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  no contact? You see, some narcissist don't
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  chase you because they want you to chase them. That's
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  just the truth right there. They
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  want you to chase after them. They
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  want to be pursued. They want to feel like a
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  princess or prince. You know what I mean? They
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  just say, I want to be chased. So
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  no matter what, some of them will want you to
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  chase them. The reverse hoover is true.
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  They go silent on you and then
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  you successfully hoover yourself because you get
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  inside of your own head and then you hoover
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  yourself back into the relationship. That
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  happens all the time. You hoover yourself back into
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  this space and back into these bad behaviors and
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  then you wonder why things don't get better. You're
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  like, why don't I think you're going to change?
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  Like you came back to me. Why
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  would I change if you came back to me? What
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  kind of sense does it make for me to have to change
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  if you came back to me? Huh?
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  You see, that's the mindset of a lot of narcissistic
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  people. Why the hell do I have to
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  change my behaviors if it's you that came back to me?
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  If you chase after me, even
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  though I wanted you to come back. Mm
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  -hmm. It's no sound backwards. Even
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  though I wanted you to come back, even though I
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  wanted you to pursue me, why the hell would I chase
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  after you? Like why the hell would I
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  change my behaviors if you came back to me? If
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  you hoovered yourself. So think about that before you
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  reach out to your toxic narcissistic, lying, abusive,
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  cheek, and ass ex. Make sure you think about that
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  because when you reach out, you clear the slate. It's
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  like you're dialing on a magic eraser. You
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  mean just bring your erasers with you, a full
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  pack of erasers because you can't get up again. You
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  know, so the third reason why narcissistic people
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  don't hoover you out is because they might have a
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  new supply. They might have already found
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  your replacement, right? They
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  might have already found your replacement. They
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  might have already found someone to replace you with
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  so they don't need to hoover you. They
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  have a new supply. They have someone that's going
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  to validate them so they feel like they don't need
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  you anymore. Why do I need you if I'm
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  already getting my validation from someone
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  else? If I'm already getting my
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  validation from somewhere else? So
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  sometimes they will manufacture a breakup with
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  you in order to have this with the new supply go
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  through. They'll manufacture an argument.
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  They'll make a reason why y 'all
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  didn't work out. If you break up with them,
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  they have a read. Like I said, they can automate.
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  They can discard you or have
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  you discard them. They can treat you bad enough
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  for you to discard them. So
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  they have a reason or an excuse for the new supply.
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  Let's keep it hot, y 'all. They
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  have a reason to keep the new, have a new person.
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  Like, well, she broke up with
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  me. What the hell y 'all want me to
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  do? I mean, wait a minute, y
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  'all. She broke up with me. What
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  the hell y 'all want me to do? Wait
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  around all day and be sad and mope around now? I'm
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  going to live my life too. I'm
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  still young. I'm going to live my life,
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  right? Hell no. I
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  ain't about to let her sit right here and wrestle my
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  laurels and do this. Hell no. The
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  hell with that. So some of them already have
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  a new supply set up. Or they feel like they've done
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  enough to secure a new supply. They
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  might not actually have the new supply locked in, but
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  they feel like they've done enough to get a positive.
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  It's worth the risk to go ahead
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  and discard you or get rid of you and not chase
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  behind you. So if y 'all break up, they
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  already have someone else. So
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  why they can't chase you? They
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  don't have four legs. They don't have two legs.
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  They're going in this new direction
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  with the new supply, so they don't have to chase
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  behind you. They don't have to pursue you.
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  They don't have to come after
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  you. So they're just going behind
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  the new supply, getting all their needs met, doing all
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  this other stuff. So like I said, it really is
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  a mind game. It really is a different
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  mindset that it takes to be a damn narcissist, being
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  realistic. Because it really does. Because
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  if they have a new supply, especially a hidden supply
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  that you might not know, sometimes you might know
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  the supply. They might hide a new supply
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  because you know them. They might hide a new supply
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  because you know who they are. Or
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  because they don't want you to know who they are,
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  because they don't want you to expose them for what
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  they've done to you. It's just in that space right
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  there. So it really does get to that
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  point where they just hide a new supply because they
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  don't want you to know who the hell they are, because
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  they don't want you reaching out to the new
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  supply and telling them stories. You
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  know, telling them what actually happened, what
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  actually happened. So they keep that a secret.
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  And I just feel like this is,
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  I hope you've seen the video about Joss from
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  Clarity on why they don't chase you. Because
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  I know some people, and this is going to sound
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  weird, y 'all, and I'll close it out with this. It
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  sounds weird because some people want to be chased.
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  Because y 'all feel like a lot of
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  people equate being chased to being worthy or having
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  value to their narcissist. Right?
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  And it could be true in some circumstances, but most
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  narcissistic people just don't want to chase after
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  you because they feel like they're just above it. Like
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  I said before, they can actually still want you
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  back, still want to be with you, but not pursue
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  you because they're too prideful. Not
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  go get help, not go work on therapy, not go to
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  therapy because they're too prideful, they're too
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  entitled. They don't think they're being
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  problematic. They think you're the problem.
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  So why the hell would I work
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  on myself when you are the issue? If
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  I see you as the main issue in our relationship,
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  why the hell would I work on myself, y 'all? Why
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  the hell would I work on me if you are the issue?
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  And if you're going to tolerate
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  the stuff that we've been through so far, why the
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  hell would I work on me? And
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  this is not me trying to be mean and just hammer
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  away at people. This is the mindset. Why
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  would I work on me if you are going to be here and
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  stay with me? Well, it's just a wild dynamic,
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  a wild mindset, y 'all. So just like they could be
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  too proud for to reach out to you. You're,
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  whether or not a narcissist chases after you or tries
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  to hoover you back in, does not have anything to
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  do with your worth or value to this world, to
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  this planet. You are worthy of love. You
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  deserve love. You are stronger than what you
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  think you are. You really, really are. But
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  I can say that as much as I want to. You
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  have to believe it. You absolutely do. So
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  that's why I, like I said, I created my support
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  groups. I created my courses to help
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  bring people more, to help people get clear on what
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  they are doing, what they want, and what they are
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  trying to pursue in life. So
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  like I said, join my support groups, check out
• 10:57
  my courses and what I've linked us in the
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  description of every video and podcast I do. Subscribe
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  to this channel, my YouTube channel. And
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  of course, y 'all, with the Hillnesses out, peace. Thank
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  you so much for making it to the end of my video. I
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  am extremely grateful for you have no idea. If
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  you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and
• 11:11
  subscribe to the channel, helps reach more people,
• 11:14
  and click on the screen to watch another video or to
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  browse through another playlist. There's
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  also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 11:19
  and my support groups to help you heal and
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  understand what you've been through. Thank
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  you so much again. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.