Latest / Imagine If with Doone Roisin | Health, Wealth & Wisdom for Women (formerly Female Startup Club Podcast) / The Friendship Experiment: 36 Questions That Create Deep Female Friendships (Pt. 2/3)

Transcript

The Friendship Experiment: 36 Questions That Create Deep Female Friendships (Pt. 2/3) · Imagine If with Doone Roisin | Health, Wealth & Wisdom for Women (formerly Female Startup Club Podcast)

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Welcome back to the podcast. Welcome back to FSC. This is episode two or part two of the friendship experiment where we're answering a series of 36 questions in three sets of 12. So we're answering the second set of 12 questions. And if you missed the first episode, the last episode, I highly recommend going back and listening to what it's about so you
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and kind of what we're doing with this specific experiment or study that was run in the 90s by a psychologist and how we're adapting it for friendship and connection for women like you who are listening to the show. And if you want to be part of the experiment, there is a link in the show notes where you can join our group chat or our podcast discussion group and be part of the
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And you'll also get some really cute merch. Okay, so like last time, I haven't gone through the questions. I don't know what we're about to answer. So I'm a little bit nervous. I felt like the last ones were already kind of like personal. And these are meant to be like the mid-level personal. And then the next episode is going to be, you know, all systems go.
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Okay, so this is question number 13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know? I put this here just for fun, which seems fitting.
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Okay, your life, the future, or anything else? I think actually I wouldn't want to know. I think part of the fun is not knowing and just being on the journey. Ooh! If it could tell me something about myself, my life, the future, or anything else.
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Okay, well, I'm interested to know whether in five years' time or ten years' time we'll be able to expand or extend the lifespan of dogs. I would definitely want to know if that's coming. So I have that to look forward to. What else? Oh, I don't think I would want to know. I'm good. Okay. Question number fourteen.
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Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it? So last year, this would have been easy. I had kept saying to myself, I wish I could sing. Imagine if I could sing. And then I was like, well, wait a minute. I don't have to be good at singing. I could just go and take lessons and sing. And so I had been doing that in my head, like that loop for such a long time, like a really, really long time, years.
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And that would have been my answer a year ago. What have I dreamed of doing for a real long time?
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On the work front, I think for a really long time, we've wanted to start doing live events. So it's been a while where I've been talking about wanting to have live audience participation, kind of both small, regular live podcast recordings, and also more of a, you know, tour, scripted stage performance type show. So I would say that
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That's been kind of like on my mind for a while. And I'd really like to make that become a reality for next year. So kind of ending this year with a few of the smaller experimental type events. And then next year moving to like fully into it. So I'm not constantly saying I want to do that. I'm actually saying I am doing that. Here's the next date. So that's probably what...
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has been on my mind lately. I think I'm someone who just, if I think to myself, imagine if, or wouldn't it be cool if I have that, like, okay, what's the action to then get to the outcome that I want? 15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
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I guess work-wise, I'm really proud of the podcast and what we've built. I'm really proud that it's put me in rooms like Buckingham Palace, being recognised by the King and Queen Consort of England and the Embassy in the UK for Australia. So I'm really proud of...
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what the podcast has accomplished and kind of like what it's accomplished that I didn't think possible, like all the things that have come from that. So those type of things, being able to travel around the world and get paid to travel around the world and like have my kind of dream career. Um, I think that's a great accomplishment knowing that I came from, you know, no money.
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dirt poor living in the bush. I think I'm pretty proud of that. That's a great accomplishment. On the personal front, what is considered a great accomplishment? What would I think is a great accomplishment in someone else? It's a really hard one.
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Maybe one of my great accomplishments is doing the things that I find scary. You know, doing things that have built my confidence that I didn't think possible for myself. That's a great accomplishment. Question 16. What do you value most in friendship or in a friendship? Okay.
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what do I value most? I value effort and time. I value kind of like creating experiences and memories together and like doing cool things or like fun things or adventurous things that kind of like, you know, we'll remember forever. I guess I value like
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fewer core friendships that are much deeper than a lot of deep friendships. I'm more of a small kind of group when it comes to my core friendships. I heard this thing the other day, a friend of mine said this to me, and he said, people can be interested or interesting
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but ideally both. And I think the people who are closest to me, they're not necessarily two things, but they're, they're really strong in one of those things. So they're, you know.
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they're reciprocal in terms of they're very interested back in my life, the way that I'm interested in their life, or they might be very interesting doing interesting things. They're interested in a lot of different areas. I do love it when I have those kind of my close friendships that have interested and interesting. I value like kindness in friendships. I'm like not about,
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the silly stuff or gossip or drama. Like I like being around people that make me feel good, aren't just like connected in like a work sense, if that makes sense. It's actually kind of a hard question. What do I value most in friendship? Trust.
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Definitely trust that you can just be yourself without like judgment. It's almost like the question of what's your love language, but what's your love language and friendship? And that comes down to similar things of how you value someone showing up for you based on your love language.
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and making sure that you fill up your friends' tanks with their love language and vice versa, and you know what each other's love languages are for friendship. So depending on the friend and who it is and the relationship, making sure that you're giving to them and supporting to them, or I'm giving to them and supporting them in the way that they need it at that time, and vice versa, like that two-way street.
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I feel like we're breathing through these. Okay, question number 17. What is your most treasured memory? Ooh, okay. I have so many. I mean, the day I got sweetie. Okay.
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That is absolutely up there with one of the most treasured memories. We were living in the UK at the time, and we lived in this little one-bedroom apartment, and the dog breeder, Natalie, she was like, you know, the dog courier is going to come. You're just going to go outside and pick up the dog. And I was like...
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They're not going to come in? Like, okay. So we go downstairs. We cross the road, like this busy road. There's a guy parked there. He just like opens it up, opens up the crate and just like hands us over this tiny little lump of sweetie. She was 700 grams. She was like this big. And we were kind of like,
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don't drop her. Like it was, it was really cold. I think it was December. And, oh, we came back upstairs and like sat on the floor with her to like play. And she was like really curious and like wanted to just jump around and she was really into PA straight away. Oh my God, that's a treasured memory.
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I loved our wedding day. We decided like three weeks before we got married that we were going to get married because we were in Australia at the time. Thank God it was December 2019 and pre the pandemic getting stuck in the UK for the next couple of years. But my grandma was sick at the time. We didn't know
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If I would see her again. And so we had just gotten engaged in July and then it was December. And we were like, you know what? All of our close friends are flying into Brisbane for Christmas to go back to seeing their families.
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why don't we just get married at the registry? My grandparents can be there and my mom and my auntie and a few of our friends. And so we kind of like messaged a few friends and were like, you know, if we did it on this date, does that like align with your Brisbane plans? And so we were like a group of 20, 20 something. And at the last minute, PA's parents also decided to fly in
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thank God, because my grandma and PA's dad died the following August within the same two-week block. And it was such a nice wedding. I had never seen myself wearing a white dress or walking down an aisle. And so we kind of planned this really cute day just based on how we wanted to have the day. So it was
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the registry and kind of playing like some nice music that we had. Like, what did we play? We played Elvis Presley's. Oh no. I walked down the aisle to Justin Bieber, obviously to you with David Guetta. And then we had a song playing by Elvis, the wonder of you.
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And we said some really sweet vows. My grandparents were there. PA's parents were there, my mom and my auntie, and our favorite friends. And then we went to my auntie's backyard, which is one of my favorite places in the world, after my grandparents' house, but they didn't live there anymore.
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and we just, like, played Fuzzy Bunny and, like, some other random games, and we had, like, gone out in the morning and bought fresh, like, kilos and kilos and kilos of fresh prawns and, like, cheeses, and we had our friend's wine from their winery, Talitz Estate, and we just kind of, like, got all of our favourite things, and then...
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We were there for a few hours and then we went to like just with our friends to late night boozy Chinese like BYO style and it was just the absolute best. We had film cameras. I wore like a sequin little sparkly wrap dress. It was just really fun. It was such a fun day. That's definitely a treasured memory.
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What else? Honestly, probably the Taylor Swift concert.
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I wasn't even a really big fan before I went to the concert. And PA and I had gotten seats, but like separately. So he was like over the other side of the stadium. I was by myself with, you know, this sweetest, cutest three-year-old girls next to me that were going to their first concert ever. And we were both like, this is up there with our wedding. Like it was the coolest day, like the love in the stadium. You could just feel it.
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So, yeah, I would say they're three of my treasured memories, but I actually have so many treasured memories. With my grandparents, when I was little, with my mom. I've got a lot of treasured memories. Eighteen, what is your most terrible memory? I have one. I have multiple. And I am not going to answer those.
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If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you're living now and why? Yes, definitely. If I only had one year to live and I wasn't like, you know, sick, let's just say like I died in a year in a car accident.
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I would be like, right, let's sell the house. Let's take sweetie back overseas and just travel full time and kind of develop a really fun bucket list and just kind of like do all the things that are like in my soul that I want to do all the different corners of the world that I want to go to.
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I guess I'd bring my mum too. And yeah, I just have like a really adventurous year with sweetie. It's so hard getting a dog back into Australia, but once they're out, totally fine, easy. She can travel with us on planes and all that kind of stuff. I think I'd just be like, cool, let's go to all the weird corners of the world that we've never been to. Definitely let's go to Antarctica. I want to go there.
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some cool hiking. I'd want to do some nature stuff. Yeah. This week I'm going to Mongolia and that's kind of like the trips that I've been more excited to do, the trips that are a little bit off the beaten path, less on Instagram. And so I would want to do more of that.
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20. What does friendship mean to you? I guess I have the most fun with my friends. Like I love traveling with my friends. One of my favorite Christmases of all time was with my close friendship group and
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Those friendships, you know, you just have such, like, the chosen family. The really chosen family. You have that, like, deep connection, support, people who make you laugh, people who you can turn to when you need a little support.
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is very important. And it's cool to get to like experience the world or the different chapters of your life with your friends. Like,
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There's the concept of shared firsts, kind of like this, where you kind of like learn something about someone or you do something with someone for the first time. And that, again, accelerates connection and closeness. And it's so cool to have your best friends doing something together that you've never done before, something random or just something that's new and out of the day-to-day kind of grind. Yeah.
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I love doing that kind of stuff with my friends. I don't know how you meant to answer that question though. What does friendship mean to you? Maybe I've answered it wrong, but that's my answer for now. 21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
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I mean, it's definitely a daily role that it plays in my life. It's a daily constant role of love and affection, both from Sweetie and PA. I mean, definitely with Sweetie.
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Oh my God, every morning we are just like snuggled with her. I mean, actually, constantly throughout the day we're snuggled with her. She's like a little tiny glow stick that is just forever glowed to one of us, overheating one of us, usually me. And it's the best. I have a lot of love from sweetie, but also PA. I guess the role was just consistent.
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And it's nice. Okay. 22. I feel like these are kind of easier than the first round. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
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Okay, well, this obviously doesn't work in this situation, but we can do it offline if you join the experiment by clicking the link in the show notes. I will obviously do this of my partner. So number one, PA is like,
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just the person that you want to be around all the time. His spirit is absolutely one of his positive characteristics. He's always like calm, level-headed, like he doesn't lose his temper. I've never seen him yell. Actually, I saw him yell. Sorry, I didn't even see him yell. I heard about him yelling once.
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to this guy who had a dog off the lead that was like about to attack sweetie. And he said he lost it, but his spirit is definitely number one.
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It's always very calm with PA. Positive characteristics of PA, he is like just the hype guy. Like he is there to celebrate me, his friends, his family. Like he will like always show up. He is so like he's the biggest cheerleader for everyone around him.
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Three, I guess this is kind of similar, but it's like, it's his mood. His mood is like always, well, like not always, he's human, but he's always like, um, always in a good mood and like,
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steady, if that makes sense, like happy and steady. Four, I guess like he's stable, reliable, and steady. And as a trait, that is something I really value. He says exactly like, if he says something, he is going to do it, um, without a doubt. And five,
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He's just like a wealth of knowledge. We can have the most random, interesting conversations and like rabbit holes about absolutely anything. Like he has got thoughts to share on every single topic today.
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like that exists, he would have been a really good like debater because he is someone that can like debate like a knot. Yeah. Like he's interesting. He's really interesting and he has like a lot of different things to talk about and a lot of different like excitement for different topics, which I love because I'm so curious about a lot of things too.
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And I guess actually another positive characteristic, I'm going for six, is that he's someone, and I just like love this actually, this should be my number one actually.
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I really value this. He is someone that is very open-minded and can shift or evolve his perspective once he has more information. He's not someone who's just like so set in his ways that he's not willing to change his perspective. And so, you know, that's like, there's like levels to that, right? There's like,
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when you're having a conversation around the dinner table, but then there's perspectives and decisions around huge choices and topics in life. And so he is someone that is always kind of like open for self-development or changing perspective or like understanding things in a deeper way, which I love.
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23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel like your childhood was happier than most other people's? Okay, well, that's two questions. Growing up, me and my mom were like inseparable, two peas in a pod. I could not get away from her. I was a glue stick. I wanted to sleep in her bed. I slept in her bed every night until, well, every night that she would let me until I went to boarding school when I was 14.
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And even after that, I would still sleep in the same bed with her now, but she, she's too loud and I'm too sensitive a sleeper. But going to boarding school definitely like severed that like insane closeness. Um.
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And I would say now we're not that close and warm and she's not a very touchy-feely, you know, smothery type person. So I wouldn't say we're super close and warm now. And there's just the two of us.
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And then do I feel like my childhood was happier than most other people's? Yes and no. My childhood was so amazing and like focused on freedom and play and imagination and just like being able to run absolutely wild. So 99% of the time or 90% of the time, yes. But then there's also, I guess,
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the things that happen in early childhood or early life that are super fucked up. And maybe not everyone has had those experiences in that internal kind of environment. Or maybe they have. I don't know. And I think that a lot of my memories, or lack of memories, probably stem from...
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early childhood stuff. 24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mom? It's a deep one. I love my mom. I love her a lot. It's her first time figuring out the world as well. I feel like we could be closer. I would like to see her more.
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But overall, I feel good about my relationship with my mom. I feel like we have mutual understanding of each other. Wow. Oh, that's it. That's 12 questions. That one felt easier than the first one, but I'm also now worried for the third one. Okay. That is part two done.
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If you want to join the experiment, there's a link in the show notes. And see you soon for part three. That was the plug.