Latest / INSPIRE STORY / Before You WASTE Another Year Of Your Life Away_ WATCH THIS_ _ Gary Vee

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Before You WASTE Another Year Of Your Life Away_ WATCH THIS_ _ Gary Vee · INSPIRE STORY

0:00
Speaker 1: You're in control. You You. You decide what you consumed,
0:03
You decide what you believe, You decide who you surround
0:06
yourself with, You decide what you put out. Take on accountability. Yeah,
0:10
everybody wants to blame right now.
0:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been three years since I've seen you. Man,
0:20
it's been way too long.
0:22
Speaker 1: It's nice to be back.
0:22
Speaker 2: It's nice to be back, man. We're always back here.
0:24
This is like, I think, the third time I've interviewed
0:26
you in this room, and it's just it's always awesome
0:30
when I hear from you, when we're in touch, man.
0:32
So I'm hoping that we can kick that off again.
0:34
Speaker 1: I love it.
0:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it. I want to start off.
0:36
Speaker 1: I have to ask you.
0:36
Speaker 2: I've got a ton of questions. I know we've got
0:38
limited amount of time. I want to start off asking
0:39
how is Vicon? I was watching It looked amazing. I
0:42
was following everything online.
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Speaker 1: It was great. We were really happy with it. I've
0:46
been telling a lot of my friends and family, Like
0:48
you know, I really held back a lot, meaning it
0:52
was since it was the first time I didn't know
0:53
what I was getting into. So it went super well,
0:57
which has me crazy excited for the next one. It
1:00
was educational, it was about community. It felt right, and
1:05
now I think I can build off of that base.
1:07
I like context a lot, and so I needed to
1:10
contextualize throwing an event of that size. Now that I've calibrated,
1:14
I think about it like a like a fighter. The
1:16
first round. They want to feel each other out. You
1:18
want to take that first punch. Can you take the
1:20
guy or Gala's power. Now that we've done that, I
1:24
feel like I can be even more ambitious with the
1:26
next one. So it was it was a really good
1:28
nice man.
1:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, the people I know that went as not as speakers,
1:31
but his visit. Is there a great time.
1:32
Speaker 1: I'm glad. So yeah, that's been the universal take. Yeah,
1:35
which for a first year event at that size, I'll
1:38
take it.
1:39
Speaker 2: Your team posted this beautiful video. It's literally yesterday and
1:42
I was just I was scrolling through and it's this
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video of a moment between.
1:45
Speaker 1: You and your dad.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was just like, you know, to hear
1:49
that from your dad, I'm going to read it out.
1:50
He said, you don't even realize what you did on
1:52
that stage. You completely change my brain. And then he said,
1:57
you're really special, and like we've seen moments with you
1:59
and your dad on so issue a ton before. Obviously,
2:03
what was different about that moment and what was he
2:05
what did you side?
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Speaker 1: What's challenging for me is like, you know, look, my
2:12
dad's a very popular figure. I do a good job
2:14
making him popular. He's the best. But my dad and
2:18
I are very different. My dad grew up with a
2:21
very different mom than I did. My dad grew up
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in a very different place. The USSR is not an
2:26
optimistic place. You know, a lot of Americans and a
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lot of people listening around the world don't know this.
2:30
The USSR was a jail. It wasn't only that it
2:33
was a difficult country. We have difficult countries around the world.
2:36
You couldn't leave, you know, I'm not educated. I think
2:39
you can't leave North Korea right, Like if you leave
2:42
it right, North Korea is the comp Like, you couldn't
2:45
leave the USSR. So that's called jail. And so you know,
2:50
he grew up in a very different place. That manifested
2:52
in my father looking at his employees very differently than
2:56
I do, looking at the world differently. And we had
3:00
some very serious conversations in the last ninety six hours
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because I made this connection point. I'm not going to
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put him out there yet. I think that's for him
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to put out there if he wants to. But my
3:11
last book twelve and a half Ingredients, what I realized
3:14
when I wrote it was, Oh, it's not just empathy.
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Oh it's not just ambition. Like we're the makeup of
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like these three combos, these four combos in this situation,
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these two combos, And what I think happened is there
3:30
was one ingredient that my dad wasn't using in combination
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that if he starts using the way he has been
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the last two three days a everybody around him is
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going to be happier, but for me selfishly, he's going
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to be happier. And I'm really glad that moment's connected.
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My Dad's had stop and starts of like optimistic points
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of view in the past. We all have. I've had
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stops and starts with candor. Let me make it about myself.
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I've had finally over to hump in the last three
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four years. But uh, it was a special moment, and
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like I'm incredibly emotional about it because it could be
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a really big impact.
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Speaker 2: It was really beautiful to see man. Thank you, Bill
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and I loved how your response is, like, Dad, you
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should have come and look.
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Speaker 1: It's fun to do this with you because you're also
4:15
one of the human beings on earth that communicates in
4:17
a way that helps people. It's a very heavy feeling
4:22
to know that you can say something and can change
4:25
someone's life, you know. I think it's intoxicating. I think
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it's why a lot of therapists love their job. I
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think it's why a lot of people that are into meditation.
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I think it's why teachers love their job. I think
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it's why a lot of parents. My mom had real,
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real sadness, empty nest when AJ left. She was a
4:40
Hall of Fame mother when he left, she didn't get
4:43
the player, you know. Like so, I think for many
4:46
of us around the world, we do it publicly, but
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a lot of people do it privately or in small
4:50
micro climates. There's nothing like saying something that provides someone
4:56
else's value when that person ends up being some of
4:59
the people you've the most that goes to a different planet.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, No, it's really special. And I think what you
5:05
just said that it accord with me because I think
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we always want the hoance to be like, well, should
5:10
I be this or should I be that? Right, You're
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talking about the opposites, and it's like should I be
5:14
affectionate or should I be assertive? And it's like being always.
5:18
Speaker 1: It's always and something I've been really tapping into is
5:22
and versus or Yeah. I feel like I'm very affective
5:25
because of our political temperature to the last decade. You know,
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purple America has been really told in many different ways,
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and it's a left and right issue. This is not
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picking on any one party. It's just the climate. It's
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the popular culture. I'm watching my friends and acquaintances and
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business associates change their opinion on issues because they feel
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they have to be one hundred percent read or one
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hundred percent blue. It's it's incredibly devastating to me. I
5:50
know where they stand. I'm watching them change their mind
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because they're treating it as a tribe and the answer
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is purple.
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Speaker 2: Yeah and so.
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Speaker 1: And versus or. This is a lot of the work
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I'm working on within myself, through my content, affecting my
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team and then you know, you know, family, team, employees,
6:13
the world. You know, I'm spending a lot of time
6:15
on it. And that's why that book was so fun.
6:18
For me, because you know, I'm an enigma. I confuse people.
6:22
I'm a contradiction. People struggle with it, and I see
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it as the strength. It is the and that makes
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me work. Like I want to build the biggest companies
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of all time, yet I haven't come across a lot
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of people really genuinely naturally, DNA. I'm not special luck
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of the draw. You really want everyone else to win, Like,
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I'm really about that life.
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Speaker 2: I love that you just said that because I had
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a really dear friend who I respect, who we both
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know is very accomplished in their own world, he said
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to me. Recently, he said to me, Jay, the reason
6:51
why I love having conversations with you is because I
6:53
can have a spiritual conversation. We can then switch to
6:56
strategy and then we can talk about content. And He's like,
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I appreciate that you're one person that we can go there,
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and that gave me permission to be that because, by
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the way, I'm the same paradox people that we used
7:08
to be a monk. But now you do media and
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you manage companies, and people can't not always figure that out.
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But I am all of them and I'm okay with that,
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and I'd rather be all of them than have to
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choose one one hundred percent.
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Speaker 1: And a lot of people don't like juggling six balls,
7:26
and I think that's awesome. I think life needs to
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be talked way more around self awareness and self love.
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Like I can't pick one thing, Gary, so many of
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my friends, well intended, most accomplished people on Earth. Gary,
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if you ever decided to pick one thing and focus,
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you would, and I'm like, I would die. You think
7:44
because you did and it works for you. That's awesome.
7:46
And that's why when I make content, I say it
7:49
with such passion and conviction. I'm always trying to use
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longer format platforms like this to take a step back
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and create some clarity. I'm asking people to do the
7:59
things on their terms, as passionately and all in as
8:03
I am. I'll talk about tactics. Yes, TikTok is an
8:06
arbitrage attention machine right now. Yes, I believe you should
8:09
post three four times a day, but you don't have to.
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And more importantly, if you dislike posting on TikTok the
8:16
way I dislike reading, then you should do it. Never. Yes,
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and that's the part that people they want everything so
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black and white when everything everything is gray. I'm always
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trying to share my conviction, talk about the ease of
8:32
leaning into oneself, but remind people don't be me. I
8:37
have high energy, I have levels of charisma that aren't trained,
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like mommy and Daddy made love at the right second,
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and I was born with certain things. It's the same
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reason that I've struggled with candor do you know me?
8:48
Five minute meetings I have that are such a waste
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of time because they could have been eighteen second reading
8:52
of an email, but I can't do it. And I
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just I was a DNF student because even as a child,
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I had some sort of subconscious force that just wasn't
9:05
interested in not being me, you know. And I just
9:09
want that for more people like And then that goes
9:11
into a framework that I get very passionate about. My
9:15
favorite thing about walking around Earth is how visceral I
9:18
am against judging people in an era that judgment of
9:22
others has become the most popular pastime, but it starts
9:26
with me not judging myself. I have standards, I have morals,
9:30
but I don't beat myself up. And as you know,
9:33
because I'm sure you're on receiving end, of different, but
9:36
many of the same messages that I get. Of course,
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people are just so good at beating themselves up, and
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I'm like why, Like everybody else sucks to like great,
9:45
so you're not good at this, or you missed your
9:47
kid's baseball game and you're not a bad parent when
9:50
you're we need you know another thing, Jay, that I'm
9:52
very passionate about. Intent needs to have a seat at
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the table. We've eliminated the ability to try to figure
9:59
out one's intent. You suck because of this. Do you
10:03
know why they got there? Do you know how this happened? Like,
10:06
we've just eliminated intents. So these are all the feelings
10:08
I think through. But you know, like I definitely like
10:13
doing a lot of things.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I love what you're saying because we'd rather
10:17
project that label of judgment onto someone because then we
10:21
don't have to do the work to figure out how
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they got there.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, envy and jealousy are incredibly powerful traits.
10:30
I tend not to a lot of my friends throw
10:32
it out about me, about themselves. I actually never go there.
10:35
It's very real. I'm just trying to figure out the
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solve yes, which is like big things like can we
10:42
reframe success? Can we create clarification? For example, with me,
10:47
I've spent the last five years trying to really explain
10:51
why I want to buy the New York Jets because
10:53
it's a fun game, not like I need the New
10:56
York you know what I mean. Like I'm in a
10:59
weird place now where I kind of want, like Karen
11:01
Thompson to buy the Jets and be the biggest person. Like,
11:03
good job, Karen, you did it. Like i'd want to
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try to buy the Jets. I don't need the Jets.
11:08
I want to try to build big companies. It's fun
11:11
process over the trophies. I don't need the trophies to
11:14
close gaps of insecurity. Yeah, and so like redefining success.
11:19
That was a talk right after BCON a couple of
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days ago in Vegas. Lady said, you know, she was
11:24
so damn happy, and she's like, but I'm not, you know,
11:27
making the dollars like everybody in this room like are
11:30
you happy? She's like really happy. I'm like, you're the
11:32
winner of the room. We have to redefine success. You know,
11:37
I'm not against money. I'm an entrepreneur. I was born
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in the USSR and grew up in America. I'm like
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very pro anything in balance capitalism and balance excites me
11:47
to know. En, it's around merit. But we need to
11:50
teach all of ourselves the simplicity of like how like
11:54
redefining success. Yeah.
11:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's the fascinating thing about self Awen is
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going back to you earlier point that I found that
12:00
envy and jealousy. When you don't have self awareness, you're
12:04
envious and jealous of everyone. Correct, when you have self awareness,
12:07
it at least limits your envy and jealousy to what
12:09
you do, and then you can actually do something with
12:12
it and do something about it. And so self awareness
12:14
actually gets you halfway there in the battle against gendoucy.
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Speaker 1: And I'm obsessed with it. You know, it brings you
12:20
better relationships. When a humanist tone deaf of like how
12:24
people are affected by them, they're in a very, very
12:26
vulnerable spot. Self awareness is very attractive and something that
12:31
I hope society keeps pounding on.
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Speaker 2: I believe that you're someone who has an even better
12:37
private life than you do public life.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you know, obviously, Listen, I've gone you know,
12:42
through my personal things like anybody else but you know
12:46
how I would answer that I'm wildly content and at peace,
12:54
and I don't think that would make sense to most
12:58
people that consume me because I'm so frantic as a communicator.
13:02
I'm such high energy. I think the thing I always
13:05
enjoy when people get close to me and I'm looking
13:08
at Dustin and Seth behind it is like there's incredible
13:11
levels of confusion on the calmness and like the ability
13:16
to absorb, you know, bad situations. And that has so
13:20
much to do with personal life, right like friends and family.
13:24
I feel really good about it. I think a lot
13:26
of it has to do with the lack of expectation
13:29
I have of others. Doesn't mean I don't require like
13:32
any human being, but like, I'm incredibly compassionate, not just empathetic,
13:38
and I think when you combine compassion and empathy you
13:41
get into a really zeny fun place. I find that,
13:45
you know, I've been really thinking this through. I'm like, oh,
13:48
those two, because not only can I feel you, but
13:52
when you come with something that isn't great, I'm going
13:55
quickly to are you okay? Versus this hurts me? Mm hm.
14:01
And so that gives me a very good personal life
14:03
I again trials and tribulations like any human on life
14:06
from different various things, especially candor. I would tell you
14:09
that everything that I've had challenges with in my life
14:12
professionally and personally has been because I'm non confrontational, which
14:16
again blows people away, because on stage, I'm incredible at
14:20
it because I'm talking to the world. When I'm talking
14:23
to the world, I can't see your name or your face,
14:25
and so I can just have really good observations to
14:27
incredibly clean data because very few people on Earth read
14:31
the comments from human beings at the level that I do.
14:33
It's what I do for a living, so I have
14:35
crazy insights. One that really caught me was how many
14:39
wealthy kids were upset with their parents for paying things,
14:42
but didn't want to give up on their parents. That
14:45
one really triggered me in four or five years, because
14:47
I didn't grow up in that environment. I was like, Oh,
14:49
this is a wild one. This is a very unhappy
14:53
twenty five year old with a Tesla, a sick apartment
14:56
in La, an unlimited uber equinox. But they really but
15:00
the subconscious is starting to take over and they realize
15:04
their parents think they're losers. That's why they're paying for everything,
15:06
and it's becomes you know, breaking those things down. So yeah,
15:10
I think I think I am very happy because I'm
15:13
very simple. I'm way simpler in business and content, and
15:17
people realize I'm very simple in life. I don't really
15:20
want stuff. I like playing. I like playing, you know.
15:24
I like competition. That's something I'm passionate about everything a
15:27
lot about competition, you know. I'm thinking about why there's
15:30
so much anxiety in the system. Of course, social media pipes.
15:34
I don't blame social the way people do. I just
15:36
think that people are being exposed. Yeah, this was this
15:40
was happening at dinner tables and so like yeah, like
15:44
so like. So I think people want to blame platforms.
15:46
This is about a human thing. And I think every
15:49
country is different and every religion is different, race, gender
15:52
is a lot going on. But I really think that
15:54
there's a lot of fun little pieces put together that
15:57
got us to certain places. I think eliminating merit and
16:01
demonizing competition has been a misstep. I think it came
16:05
from great intent. I think parents didn't want kids crying.
16:09
They didn't want them to feel bad. But we started
16:12
training that eighteenth place is the same as first place,
16:16
eliminating merit is not a happy place. It leads to
16:19
a very unhappy place. And so you know, it's funny
16:22
the things that get me going, ambition and competition. I'm
16:26
in feels very red kindness over anything else, including those
16:31
two things, you know. And because it's purple, and that's
16:34
where my soul is right now for the world, because
16:37
I think so much of what I am and what
16:40
I became was my mom and my DNA and my
16:42
circumstance filled all the gaps along the way. I walked
16:47
into high school four foot eleven, four foot eleven confident,
16:52
not because I thought I would get the cheerleader or
16:55
it was going to be the most popular, because I
16:57
had zero interest in that validation. Not that I thought
17:00
it was better, Not that I thought it was better.
17:02
I didn't think these you know, these popa I just
17:05
wanted to be nice to everybody. I want to do
17:07
my baseball card shows, I want to get my DS
17:09
and f's on my way to going to the wine business.
17:12
I wanted everybody to be happy. And it really hasn't stopped.
17:16
Speaker 2: The Buddha thousands of years ago called it the middle path, right,
17:19
the idea that we're trying to go Is it left
17:21
or is it right? Is it this or that? And
17:22
it's like, no, it's the middle path. And what you
17:24
were just saying around eliminating merit. I think one of
17:26
the bigger challenges is trying to eliminate pain early on
17:30
in life, because you just become fragile, correct. And it's
17:34
fascinating to me how much we don't realize that fragility
17:38
is being spread by limiting I was beaten up every
17:40
day at school, primary school, every single day because I
17:42
was the only Indian kid at school. I was the
17:44
only overweight kid in school, and so I got beaten
17:46
up every single day. And it was just what I
17:49
went through and same as you similarly, funnily enough, and
17:51
we never talked about this, but people I was like,
17:54
did that affect you?
17:55
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, not.
17:55
Speaker 2: Really, because I wasn't looking for love from that person, correct,
17:59
because even I knew that that person had more pain
18:01
in their life than me. They grew up on the
18:03
council estate. Yeah, they had their parents had a broken marriage.
18:06
They had so much more context even at that age
18:09
that I could go home to my mom and dad.
18:11
Speaker 1: I think I think it's real. I think kids not
18:12
going outside like parents are too involved. I get it again,
18:18
best intent, best intent, But I believe in it. Yeah,
18:22
I believe that we have demonized losing when losing is
18:25
the best. Like for me, it was school was telling
18:29
me I was gonna be a failure. So you've grown
18:31
ups left and right, friends, parents and teachers. You will
18:33
be a garbage I remember the favorite thing back in
18:35
the eighties, You're gonna be a garbage man, big shout
18:37
out to the garbage. Yeah, went first of all, but
18:39
that was the cliche thing in eighty four and eighty seven,
18:41
like I can't wait to be like I'm gonna be
18:43
a garbage like like they just really it was only college,
18:47
it was only grades. So that and then I competed
18:50
twenty four to seven. I was always competing, and when
18:52
you compete all the time, you're losing a lot. And
18:55
I cried. I cried from six to twelve every time
18:58
I lost than anything video games, checkers, uno football, because
19:02
I hated the feeling. But the layers of skin that
19:06
I have, you know, and that makes sense to me
19:08
about you. You can't be out there at the level
19:10
we're out there if you don't have that stomach. You
19:13
won't do it. You won't put yourself We all now
19:15
can everybody can put themselves out there. People won't do
19:19
it if they don't have that layer of skin. And
19:22
I you know, I agree with you, like and it's
19:24
a tough challenge, but we have to get kids to
19:27
like get comfortable with losing.
19:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, get comfortable with discomfort, even if it's not losing yet,
19:31
just getting comfortable with DISCOMs.
19:32
Speaker 1: And we've really gone the other way, especially if there's money,
19:36
if the family has a couple of bucks, it's been
19:38
completely eliminated.
19:39
Speaker 2: Yeah.
19:40
Speaker 1: Parents are going to school fighting for their kids, like
19:42
my kids should have got an like we're doing too much.
19:44
And then are twenty two and they have to live
19:46
life and they go into the workplace and they're like,
19:48
I should be the VP of this company. Gary, I'm
19:50
like you've been here four weeks. Yeah, I'm like, you
19:52
start your own company? Like, yeah, you know, what have
19:55
you found?
19:56
Speaker 2: Have you found clever ways with your daughter to be
19:58
able to do things like that? Like have you Yeah,
20:00
I'm hacking all the time with my two kids. How
20:02
do you encourage competition? How do you do that with
20:04
giving it?
20:05
Speaker 1: Because you aparently beat them, beat them and everything. My
20:08
dad used to do that to me. I wish AJ
20:11
was here, like AJ. My mom used to get so
20:13
mad at me because we were siblings. Not it's your child.
20:16
And I'm eleven years older. So we're playing one on
20:19
one basketball. I'm eighteen, he's seven, and I am beating
20:22
them for a couple of reasons. One I believed it.
20:24
Two I didn't want to lose. Three I always knew
20:28
when it happened. I'm like, one day he's gonna be
20:30
seventeen and I'm going to be, you know, twenty eight,
20:34
and he's gonna beat me. He's gonna be and you know,
20:36
like I needed to get my wins on the board because, yeah,
20:38
I think beating them, I think talking about adversity, explaining
20:44
non conformant leaning in you know, and.
20:47
Speaker 2: So that's how Yeah, I like that. And my dad
20:51
was like that. It was really interesting because I think
20:52
men and women react differently to that. But as a
20:54
guy like my dad was like that, he would never pass.
20:56
He would get in front of an open goal. Socker,
20:58
I'm talking about yea get in from an open goal.
21:00
He could pause to me for his son to school
21:02
and he'd go in school, were playing father and son.
21:04
Speaker 1: And honestly, you know, I've been thinking a lot because
21:06
I'm so soft skilled. There's so many moms I know
21:09
that were like, well, never let that, Like the dad is,
21:12
I'm thinking about one couple right now, where like I
21:14
just think it's a DNA trait, it's a culture trait.
21:17
But I think competition and losing and adversity need to
21:22
be championed zero to twelve. Yeah, when they've been completely
21:26
taken out of the equation. And I believe the entitlement
21:31
and the pain is a direct correlation. I really do,
21:35
I really do.
21:36
Speaker 2: What I go out of that was that it helped
21:37
me become my own man because I didn't have my
21:40
dad passing me the boy. I didn't have my dad
21:42
passing it on, and so for me, it gave me
21:45
no framework that to the extreme.
21:47
Speaker 1: By the time I was eighteen or nineteen, I was
21:51
I mean, this is really I think my dad's about
21:53
to start consuming my contents. So I'm gonna be very
21:55
I'm gonna tread lightly here, but Dad, if you're listening,
21:59
at eighteen or nine nineteen, I became equally as important
22:02
to the business, and by twenty two, I was much
22:04
more important in the business, and so like I took
22:06
it to the extreme, right, like you know, the responsibility,
22:13
the putting it on your own two feet, Like we
22:17
need a lot more of that. No parent is doing
22:20
their kid a favor by putting training wheels on their life.
22:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I love that, Kerry. I'm asking this with love,
22:27
and you know, for me, this was a big thing.
22:30
I think it was like I think I'd been making
22:33
content for two years before I introduced my community to
22:37
my wife. Yes, and everyone's like, Jay, you're married, Like
22:41
people had no idea because I just didn't talk about
22:44
her because we just got married, We've been together for
22:46
a few years before that. I was like, I need
22:49
to be careful about, of course, what we're going to say,
22:51
where this is going, how this feels. You've recently been
22:54
more open about your relationship. Yes, we don't have to
22:57
go there. This is being very kind and I appreciate
22:59
it because I respect.
23:01
Speaker 1: I am incredibly private, as you know, and the world knows,
23:05
because I'm going through a transition in my life. I
23:07
felt like it got to a place where it was
23:09
not sustainable for me to be one hundred percent private.
23:13
And so I've been a little more public. It is
23:16
something that I'm desperately not interested in, even the part
23:20
we just talked about with my kids, Like, it's not
23:23
somewhere I want to go. I don't want to go.
23:26
I don't want to talk about my kids. I don't
23:27
want to talk about my personal No. No, I want
23:30
you to keep this, and I'll tell you why. I
23:32
want to remind people you're in control. It's incredibly important
23:37
and appropriate, and I appreciate, especially being very cordial for
23:42
people to ask and things of that nature. But I
23:43
want to remind people they're in control. I want to
23:47
provide value and put out things. In my professional career,
23:51
I'm incredibly private and feel that the world is entitled
23:56
to what you give it. So when I watch people
23:59
get upset people get into their business, I'm like, you're
24:01
giving them your business by the way, you're leveraging your business.
24:06
I don't want to leverage nor give my personal life
24:09
to the world. I don't think that's the right way
24:13
by the way. I just think it's my way. So
24:17
the reason I have a little bit to what you're
24:18
referring to is it became not sustainable because it's been
24:21
a long time and like I was in a transit
24:23
like it just it was the appropriate time. Yeah, and
24:25
I needed to just get some contexts out there. But
24:29
it's not where I'm going to go.
24:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's what I was more interested by.
24:32
Speaker 1: To me, it's not listen us being together. My brain
24:35
goes into maximize the value at the highest levels because
24:39
we have the opportunity to for as many people are listening.
24:41
The takeaway there from my perspective is you're in control.
24:46
You have a learning disability and you want to share it.
24:49
Mazzel to off, you don't great. It took me back
24:52
to something less serious. It took me fifteen years of
24:55
public life to say I'm not candorous and it's hurt
24:58
me my personal life and it's hurt me in my
25:01
business life. You get to share what you want to share,
25:05
and I think people should be careful of what they share.
25:08
You share your abs as a like a like you're
25:12
a good shape dude. People are gonna talk about your
25:14
body for the rest of your life. But you did that.
25:17
You're gonna show your kid all the time. They're going
25:19
to talk about that relationship. They're gonna talk. You're giving
25:23
the world permission. I'd prefer not to give the world
25:26
permission because that's a sacred place for me. You know.
25:29
Even look at my mom, she like the greatest gift
25:32
I could give to the world. Is my mom to
25:34
the world the greatest. She's alpha me. She's more experienced,
25:39
she's a different perspective as a mom. She doesn't want
25:42
it the end, right. I thought my dad and mom
25:46
would be reverse. My dad I never thought would love
25:49
the limelight so much. But you know, so I think
25:53
if you're listening right now, please if you're not going
25:57
on social media because you have a skeleton in your closet,
26:00
you have a disease, you have a bad you know situation.
26:04
You're like me, and like grew up in a family
26:07
where like personal life is private. That's I think, you know,
26:10
in Russia, that was like people would go to jail
26:12
if anybody knew anything about you. So I think it
26:14
ingrained in my parents, which then ingrained in me and
26:17
my sister and brother, Like we're private that way.
26:20
Speaker 2: You know.
26:21
Speaker 1: I think you have to understand you're in control. Facebook
26:24
and TikTok and podcasts and YouTube don't make you do anything. Yeah,
26:27
they don't make you do anything.
26:29
Speaker 2: I'm so glad you addressed up because I think there's
26:31
and this is why I brought it up. I think
26:32
there's been a mosque of false vulnerability that's been encouraged
26:38
because of social media. So people think that the more
26:41
vulnerable or more open shore that shows authenticity.
26:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally I love you for that. You're going
26:48
to a very smart place. I would argue. I see
26:51
more lack of authenticity in the way that people are
26:54
leveraging their family and personal life because they know it
26:57
does well. Yeah. I don't want to go too deep
26:59
because again this it's fun about being canvass in general,
27:01
but I would never ever say this to a human being.
27:04
There's people who are leveraging their children for brand deals.
27:13
That's something worth thinking about. Yeah, Like like right now,
27:17
those kids aren't talking about that to you because they
27:20
don't talk because they're four or because they're sixteen not
27:23
ready to have that combo. But like, I think all
27:26
of us have to think about things like that.
27:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think for me, as an observer of you,
27:30
I always respect. Then That's why I was so intrigued
27:33
and I still respect. I still say in respect, but
27:35
it's because I went through that journey in my own head. Yeah,
27:38
even with my own wife that i'd been together with,
27:40
and even what we share and where we share, it's.
27:43
Speaker 1: Like, you know the intention, Like to me, your family
27:47
is the most sacred. Like that's who's going to be
27:49
around you when you're dying, Like right, and so like
27:52
you have to think three times before you start letting
27:55
anything in. Right, And by the way, the other thing is,
27:59
I don't want to make decisions for other people. I
28:02
was built to be unstoppable, you know what I mean,
28:05
Like when you I'm going like for that judgment, if
28:10
that person it's hard enough if you choose it, imagine
28:13
someone else choosing it for you. Yes, and so like,
28:16
please everyone be thoughtful on this one.
28:18
Speaker 2: Yeah.
28:18
Speaker 1: And by the way, if you're listening right now and
28:20
it's really hitting, but you already opened up Kimono's box,
28:23
it's never closed. It's never late to close it, you
28:25
can close that. We evolve, we change, I will make mistakes,
28:30
I will change, I will evolve. I will do good things.
28:33
Like we need a lot more civility and patience for
28:38
each other. If you've been sharing everything and you decide
28:41
off of this podcast, which I'm sure there's five to
28:44
five hundred people that just decided right now. Then you
28:47
just stop. And when people ask, where's Johnny your boyfriend?
28:51
Because like you, you can answer it, you don't have
28:54
to answer it. But like you're in control, people have
28:57
to understand they're in control. Accountabit. You know, V Friends
29:02
is is the scaled version of me. You know V Friends,
29:07
You know this is actually something I should talk to
29:08
you about online. You should really debate this. The building
29:12
intellectual property to scale one's message is very powerful, and
29:16
we're just talking about so I'd love Yeah, Like I
29:19
met this woman in her late sixties early seventies. Somebody
29:22
introduced me to her. I want to I'm looking to
29:24
potentially hire her to be a storyteller. And V Friends
29:27
short for Jim Henson. We're just getting to know each other.
29:30
But like the brief for Fraggle Rock, the brief for
29:33
the entire show was stop war, and it was like
29:37
the most profound out of all these sixteen months, that's
29:39
been the most profound moment so far of my journey
29:41
of V Friends. Because V Friends is to make people happier.
29:47
But I think happiness comes in a lot of forums,
29:49
not demonizing competition. My favorite character I want to develop
29:53
is accountable Aunt Jay. I think the lack of accountability
29:57
is leading to so much unhappiness. Life is so much
30:00
better when you're like, this was my fault. You're in control, yeah,
30:04
and so like you know, this was like a wrap
30:06
up to control. You're in control. You you, you decide
30:10
what you consume, You decide what you believe, You decide
30:13
who you surround yourself with, You decide what you put out.
30:16
Take on accountability. Everybody wants to blame right now. The
30:19
algorithm they're acting as. The algorithms are like hypnosis and
30:23
I understand and endorphin hits and all that. But like
30:26
you can delete the app, you can, like where's accountability
30:30
in this? Yeah? Right? Yeah, absolutely, Like we have an alcohol,
30:34
we have tobacco, we have drugs, we have weapons, and
30:37
we have all sorts of issues. But most people play
30:40
within moderation. That's on you.
30:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's a tough truth, right, It's a tough
30:44
It's a tough, especially when you're unhappy.
30:47
Speaker 1: That goes back to why it's important. It's like the
30:50
chicken and egg. It's like working out, Like I got
30:53
into better shape the last eight years. Nothing comes less
30:56
natural to me. Yeah, nothing comes less natural to me, right,
31:01
But like I was like, I just would like to
31:03
live longer. I would just like to live longer and
31:07
go figure. It's not apple cider gummies, it's not steroids,
31:12
it's not implants I've thought about. I'm like, can I
31:14
get chest implants? I put in a lot of work.
31:16
I feel like I have like set's good, Like I
31:18
feel like a moon in Seth but like my body
31:20
type like you know, and I'm like I probably haven't
31:23
but but but no, it's like eat well, go in
31:27
the gym, do the right things, and so saying for life,
31:31
you know, whether it's meditation, whether it's exercise, whether it's therapy,
31:35
whether it's good conversations, whether it's surrounding you know, you know,
31:38
back to us not having the certain you know, we've
31:40
had some meals, we've had some interactions. They're always like
31:43
they're nice. I would like that, and we'll build on that.
31:46
I think, you know, I'm spending more time thinking about
31:51
spending more time with more while doubling down on core.
31:54
You know, you know, because I've been I did a
31:57
really good job in the last ten years of doubling
31:59
down on core. But but I think being as busy
32:02
and I love what I do. You know, I really
32:06
do want to build out a more of a friend
32:07
network more. I want to take more people from lightweight
32:11
acquaintance to solid acquaintance. I want to take people from
32:14
acquaintance to friend, from friend to best friend. And so
32:16
I'm on a journey like everybody else. But I think
32:19
that I got God. I think, believe it or not.
32:24
And this is going to sound so crazy for so many.
32:27
The world actually has so much potential for everybody listening
32:33
to be the best time to be alive. Medicine and
32:37
technology and there's so much, but we're caught right now.
32:41
It's like a hamster will. We're in the momentum of
32:43
focusing on, you know, the bad, and there's always bad.
32:49
The Holocaust was bad, Genocide is always going on. Genghis
32:54
Khan was not a fun time to be a human. Like,
32:57
you know, like we are very bad at history. I
32:59
was a really bad student, but I did well in history. Like,
33:01
but that starts with you. What are you going to
33:04
do about it? Because right now everyone's like pointing and
33:07
feels like it's on someone else. Starts with ourselves.
33:10
Speaker 2: I mean when you said that, and you brought up
33:11
the Holocaust. I recently read Edith Egua's book The Gifts.
33:15
She lived through the Holocaust, and she had that mindset
33:18
in the Holocaust. So she said, the only way she
33:20
got through it is she realized that she wasn't a prisoner,
33:24
that the only prisoners were the gods because they were
33:26
prisoners of their own conscience. Unbelievable, that was her mindset.
33:30
She's right, And it's and you know she's like over
33:32
nineteen hour or even older, and it's like, it's just
33:35
phenomenal that her Victor Frankel, who wrote Manset for meaning,
33:39
these two phenomenal books, if anyone hasn't read them like
33:41
they had that in that scenario.
33:43
Speaker 1: Well, that's the point I always make to everybody, Like,
33:45
you know, the only thing that works for me is
33:49
trying to contextualize moments in time. And like you know,
33:54
our great great great grandparents had it rough by comparison
33:57
the way we have it. And sure they had some
33:59
things that were better on simplicity, but we must choose
34:03
optimism because what's the alternative pessimism? Like are you just
34:06
gonna decide? Because once you decide, where are you? Once
34:11
you decide it's bad, it's actually bad, and so like
34:15
one of the things that makes me very passionate to
34:18
communicate is practical optimism, or the fact that I believe
34:24
negativity is much better at marketing than positivity. Oh for sure,
34:27
I feel a huge sense of responsibility.
34:29
Speaker 2: What has become out of all the things you've pursued,
34:32
because I'm guessing at different stages in your life, and
34:34
anyone who hasn't heard of interviewed Gary twice before, so
34:36
you can go back and listen to those You've pursued
34:38
different things at different times, And every time I meet you,
34:41
it's a really What I love about it is that
34:44
you just there's so much growth and acceptance and embracing
34:47
of this new you. Every time we talk, I feel
34:50
like I'm talking to a even more self aware of human,
34:53
which is a really fun feeling when you're checking in
34:56
with someone in this way. And so I go, what
34:59
if you found currently to be the most worthy pursuit, Like,
35:03
what is it that you're pursuing that you found worthy of?
35:06
Speaker 1: It's always been the same thing for me. It's almost
35:10
as if I'm living two separate lives. The most worthy
35:13
pursuit is I'm wildly gifted at helping other people, and
35:19
I'm incredibly comfortable of also being okay with feeding myself
35:24
around my own interests. The most worthwhile pursue of my friends,
35:28
I think this is going to land with you is
35:30
the continuous balance beam that I walk on that is
35:34
called equal parts selfish and equal parts selfless and refining
35:39
that skill set. And I think in the three times,
35:42
if I may off of your analogy, I think the
35:45
beam is getting thinner and I'm still walking it. You know,
35:48
maybe the first time we met it was like an
35:49
Olympic beam or a high school beam. Maybe the second
35:52
time was you know. My hope is that as I
35:55
continue to go, I'll be on a tight rope across
35:57
Manhattan and walk it easily because me playing my game
36:01
of entrepreneurship gives me so much energy that I'm able
36:06
to deploy it in a positive manner at scale. And
36:10
I find it fascinating, and so that is what I
36:12
continue to go after.
36:14
Speaker 2: I love that, Gary, forty minutes with you feels like
36:16
an hour and two hours with someone else. Thank you, man,
36:18
thank you, thank you very I appreciate it so much.
36:20
If you want even more videos, just like this one.
36:23
Make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here.
36:26
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36:29
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