Latest / Xenomania / Ereptile Dysfunction: Alligator 1980 - Xenomania 39

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Ereptile Dysfunction: Alligator 1980 - Xenomania 39 · Xenomania

• 0:15
  Ryan: The email,
• 0:16
  Kearns: But this is the right way to spend money.
• 0:17
  Ryan: Hold on.
• 0:18
  There we go.
• 0:20
  Today at 1:11 PM Factory Massive Markdown sale, 70% off these bundles.
• 0:27
  And the three that are the biggest sellers right now are Cramp is the
• 0:31
  Naughty Cut Limited Edition with poster Prism sticker for 1499.
• 0:36
  Village of the Damned Collector's Edition, two exclusive posters,
• 0:40
  exclusive slip cover, and
• 0:42
  Jon: Okay.
• 0:43
  Ryan: for 2249.
• 0:44
  And the biggest one, gonna have a, uh, remembrance of an episode, my Bloody
• 0:49
  Valentine Collector's edition exclusive poster, prism sticker enamel pins 31 79.
• 0:56
  And disc, actually the disc looks like actually a special heart.
• 1:01
  Oh,
• 1:04
  I,
• 1:04
  Jon: cool.
• 1:06
  I I don't think I need to double dip on that.
• 1:08
  I have it already.
• 1:09
  I have their release.
• 1:10
  I don't think I need to, um.
• 1:13
  Kearns: of alligator, you mean?
• 1:14
  Or of,
• 1:15
  Jon: No, the release of, my Bloody Valentine
• 1:18
  Ryan: a candy
• 1:19
  Jon: Krampus is the one, that would tempt me.
• 1:21
  Ryan: told Jada I own the, uh, theatrical cut as I'm looking at it.
• 1:25
  It's actually a nice set.
• 1:26
  Um, I mean, the uncut version has a little more blood and gore in
• 1:31
  it, so it's more off the wall.
• 1:35
  But I mean, even the theatrical version, I, I know we're not talking about
• 1:39
  Krampus tonight, but Krampus is a good horror film, especially the jester.
• 1:43
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:44
  Kearns: It was a pleasant surprise.
• 1:46
  Ryan: we
• 1:47
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:47
  Yeah.
• 1:47
  Ryan: a, a song solo like an anchor man.
• 1:49
  I was very disappointed
• 1:50
  Jon: But, but you're, you're dropping this on me.
• 1:54
  The day my $70 worth of four Ks showed up, I got, the Criterion 4K
• 2:01
  of William Friedkin sorcerer, which
• 2:05
  Ryan: a great movie.
• 2:06
  Jon: that's gonna be incredible.
• 2:07
  Mm-hmm.
• 2:08
  And then.
• 2:10
  I got the import 4K for black sheep, not the Chris Farley one, the Killer Sheep one
• 2:17
  Kearns: The killer's cheap one
• 2:18
  Ryan: pudding
• 2:19
  Jon: Uhhuh.
• 2:19
  Kearns: that cracks.
• 2:20
  Ryan: There was no chocolate pudding in the fridge.
• 2:24
  Jon: We are 100% putting that on the list just so I can watch it in 4K.
• 2:29
  Kearns: rationalized.
• 2:30
  Ryan: sheep.
• 2:30
  Black Sheep is a, seems like a good film.
• 2:33
  It's very Wolf man.
• 2:35
  Jon: Thanks.
• 2:36
  It's awesome.
• 2:37
  Like it's, it's funny.
• 2:39
  It's got, the effects are really solid.
• 2:43
  They do really good stuff with the gore.
• 2:45
  It works surprisingly well.
• 2:49
  Kearns: good effects that work surprisingly well, we are doing alligator
• 2:53
  1980 tonight, and you'll be surprised, viewers, if you have not seen it in a
• 2:58
  while or haven't seen it yet, just how good the special effects are in that movie
• 3:03
  Jon: I,
• 3:03
  Kearns: it is.
• 3:04
  Jon: I'll just give you a preview.
• 3:06
  It was so hard to find one star reviews.
• 3:10
  Kearns: If
• 3:10
  Jon: There, there is not a one star review for alligator on Google.
• 3:15
  Ryan: I mean
• 3:16
  Jon: there's not a two star review for alligator on Google.
• 3:19
  Ryan: this our
• 3:20
  Kearns: Wow.
• 3:21
  Jon: I had to go, I had to go other places.
• 3:23
  I had to, I have one stars.
• 3:25
  Don't, don't you worry.
• 3:26
  I
• 3:26
  Ryan: was
• 3:26
  Jon: found them,
• 3:27
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 3:27
  Those
• 3:28
  Jon: but I, I had, I had to look.
• 3:31
  Kearns: Good.
• 3:31
  Ryan: I mean it took me a while.
• 3:32
  John had to reveal the name as I like refused to look it up 'cause I knew it.
• 3:37
  He's so good.
• 3:38
  And it's such an underrated like horror Jim.
• 3:40
  'cause I didn't hear it until you guys told me
• 3:42
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 3:43
  Ryan: was like, alright.
• 3:44
  And now I am probably gonna buy it from X factory when we get
• 3:48
  our first paycheck on Monday.
• 3:51
  Kearns: I think I said that John like said Alligator is
• 3:53
  what Piranha was trying to be.
• 3:56
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 3:56
  Mm-hmm.
• 3:58
  Kearns: That's a spiritual successor, jaws kind of thing, and alligator pulls
• 4:02
  off a whole that and a whole lot more.
• 4:05
  Ryan: And,
• 4:05
  Jon: Yeah.
• 4:05
  Ryan: it's paced
• 4:06
  Jon: Yep.
• 4:07
  Ryan: I like the pacing of it and it's suspenseful and the debts,
• 4:11
  you know, you get that point of view and it's, it just works.
• 4:17
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 4:19
  Jon: And they understand what they're working with.
• 4:23
  Like, yes, it's a Jaws ripoff, but like Louis Teague who directed it,
• 4:29
  really understood the same thing.
• 4:34
  Spielberg understood.
• 4:35
  With Jaws, you don't have the budget to make the greatest creature, so
• 4:41
  you don't reveal it all the time.
• 4:43
  You just, give little enough of it to know that it's there and to know the threat.
• 4:50
  Kearns: It's, yeah, this wasn't Jurassic Park.
• 4:52
  This was, this was the, they,
• 4:55
  Jon: Yeah.
• 4:56
  Kearns: with and they
• 4:57
  Jon: Yeah.
• 4:57
  Kearns: did a good job with stock footage of gators.
• 4:59
  They did a good job with like putting real life gators and things, and then
• 5:03
  kind of messing with the camera angles.
• 5:05
  Those are the hoes shots though.
• 5:06
  I didn't like those as much.
• 5:08
  Jon: Yeah.
• 5:08
  Yeah.
• 5:08
  Kearns: and then they have the, they do have the animatronic, you know,
• 5:12
  massive gator and then the gator
• 5:15
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 5:15
  Kearns: sewers, which was pretty
• 5:16
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 5:17
  Yeah.
• 5:18
  Kearns: like, that part just is icing on the cake.
• 5:20
  The actual movie ride, like rides this, uh, wave of good noir style
• 5:25
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 5:26
  Yep.
• 5:27
  Kearns: with puppies, so you immediately hate like bad people and
• 5:30
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 5:31
  Mm-hmm.
• 5:31
  Kearns: eating some of those people.
• 5:34
  Jon: And unlike Conjuring, it actually means something.
• 5:38
  I don't love that they're killing dogs in it, but it means something.
• 5:43
  Kearns: Right.
• 5:44
  And they, double down on it when they go into the scene.
• 5:46
  So for the listeners, um, whole beginning of it is the, we'll run
• 5:51
  through the beginning super fast.
• 5:52
  it goes to a gator farm.
• 5:55
  some wrestling guy gets mauled, which is pretty sweet.
• 5:58
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 5:59
  Kearns: um, the little girls convinces their parents, the buyer,
• 6:02
  a gator, and they drive to St.
• 6:04
  Louis with it, and then
• 6:05
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 6:06
  Kearns: to New York the parents don't wanna deal with
• 6:08
  it anymore, so they flush it.
• 6:11
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 6:11
  Kearns: where we
• 6:12
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 6:13
  Kearns: it down the toilet.
• 6:14
  Jon: So I'll, I'll
• 6:15
  Ryan: Chicago,
• 6:16
  Kearns: Oh, Chicago, my
• 6:17
  Jon: Chicago, I'll actually go back there 'cause I don't think either of you
• 6:21
  would've experienced it because I don't know how long it lasted after I did.
• 6:25
  But have you ever witnessed alligator wrestling?
• 6:28
  Kearns: I've done it once in Florida.
• 6:30
  It's interesting.
• 6:32
  Jon: Yeah.
• 6:32
  Yeah.
• 6:33
  I mean, so much of it I, I think was showmanship.
• 6:37
  I think I was probably six-ish.
• 6:40
  Kearns: Really wrestling.
• 6:41
  Jon: You know, you get in there and you get, you have the, animal,
• 6:43
  the gator wrestler, and he's like, yeah, this is really dangerous.
• 6:47
  Don't do it at home.
• 6:48
  And he like holds up his hands and he is like, missing, missing some fingers, but
• 6:53
  they could also just be tucked behind.
• 6:55
  And he is like, oh, look at what happens.
• 6:57
  This is what it,
• 7:00
  and it's just so strange.
• 7:05
  Kearns: It's a weird way to make money.
• 7:07
  Jon: It is, it's a weird little piece of like, Americana that
• 7:11
  Kearns: It
• 7:11
  Jon: I think a lot of people don't, will never experience.
• 7:15
  'cause I, I can't imagine they're still there, right?
• 7:17
  Ryan: they might.
• 7:18
  Kearns: has the venomous snake houses all over the place
• 7:21
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 7:21
  Kearns: wild.
• 7:22
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 7:23
  Kearns: I can't imagine a place I'd wanna go to less.
• 7:26
  Ryan: Hey, Bob, one of the snakes got loose.
• 7:27
  Oh, shit.
• 7:28
  Which one?
• 7:29
  The python,
• 7:29
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 7:30
  Uh, not again.
• 7:31
  He's like on a kid's neck.
• 7:33
  No.
• 7:34
  so they get to Chicago, right?
• 7:36
  Sorry, John,
• 7:37
  Jon: uh, before we go too much further, do you guys wanna play a game?
• 7:41
  Kearns: I didn't know if you had one in the, in the, uh, back pocket this week.
• 7:45
  Jon: Of course I do.
• 7:48
  It's another real or fake?
• 7:50
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 7:50
  Ryan: for my title.
• 7:52
  Jon: Real or
• 7:52
  Ryan: All right.
• 7:54
  Jon: real or fake?
• 7:55
  Alligator and crocodile movies?
• 7:58
  Kearns: Oh, no,
• 7:59
  Jon: Oh, yes.
• 8:00
  Kearns: Ryan, I think my one week winning streak is about to come to an end,
• 8:05
  Jon: I don't know.
• 8:06
  We'll, we'll see.
• 8:07
  I mean,
• 8:08
  Kearns: of these.
• 8:09
  Ryan: I,
• 8:10
  Jon: I don't think so.
• 8:11
  Ryan: oh god.
• 8:12
  Jon: I dug deep for the real ones.
• 8:16
  And I think the fake ones fit really well in with the real ones.
• 8:21
  Ryan: on there.
• 8:22
  I just saw that the other day.
• 8:23
  Funny enough, a trailer.
• 8:26
  Jon: We'll see.
• 8:27
  All right.
• 8:27
  You ready?
• 8:29
  Movie number one, Hellgate Spawn of the Bayou.
• 8:36
  An exorcist must remove the alligator demon blight jaw from a young girl.
• 8:42
  Kearns: oh, this is fun.
• 8:43
  Ryan: I'm gonna say real.
• 8:44
  I want it to be real.
• 8:45
  That's why.
• 8:46
  Kearns: I'm gonna say real too, 'cause I want it to be real.
• 8:48
  If John came up with that, we need to write that script.
• 8:51
  Oh,
• 8:51
  Jon: That is fake.
• 8:53
  Kearns: wow.
• 8:55
  Ryan: Please tell me you have that written down.
• 8:58
  Jon: Oh yeah.
• 8:58
  Of course I do.
• 8:59
  Yeah.
• 8:59
  I can't do this off my head.
• 9:01
  Kearns: types
• 9:01
  Jon: is all written down.
• 9:03
  Ryan: Presents Hell Gator.
• 9:05
  Kearns: Right.
• 9:07
  Ryan: Let's do it.
• 9:07
  Jon: All right, so, oh, for one.
• 9:11
  Number two, mega Python versus Gator.
• 9:16
  Kearns: Oh.
• 9:17
  Jon: The battle of overgrown beasts rages in the Everglades.
• 9:23
  Ryan: Real.
• 9:24
  Kearns: This feels like a sci-fi one
• 9:26
  Ryan: That's where I'm going with it.
• 9:28
  Kearns: real
• 9:29
  Ryan: Yeah,
• 9:30
  Jon: It is real it this, this one stars both Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.
• 9:38
  Ryan: the singer.
• 9:39
  Kearns: Oh,
• 9:41
  Jon: A a Both singers.
• 9:42
  Yep.
• 9:43
  Both eighties pop stars.
• 9:46
  Ryan: Tiffany was recognizable for me.
• 9:48
  The other one, Debbie.
• 9:51
  Jon: Oh, you don't know the el, the electric youthfulness of Debbie Gibson,
• 9:56
  Ryan: Gibson.
• 9:56
  There we go.
• 9:57
  Jon: who, is a leading herpetologist in this movie.
• 10:03
  Ryan: Well now, now I do.
• 10:06
  Jon: It's the most unbelievable part of the movie.
• 10:08
  Kearns: yeah, hideous by the way.
• 10:11
  Ryan: She's good for
• 10:12
  Jon: She's, she's an interesting look.
• 10:15
  Kearns: What?
• 10:16
  What did Jan say?
• 10:17
  Jon: She has an interesting, she has an interesting look.
• 10:22
  Kearns: Now?
• 10:22
  She's gorgeous.
• 10:23
  This is the lead female, right?
• 10:25
  Jon: No, not in, not an alligator.
• 10:28
  Not an alligator.
• 10:29
  It's a popstar.
• 10:29
  Debbie Gibson.
• 10:30
  Kearns: Okay.
• 10:31
  Jon: Yeah.
• 10:32
  No, the one in alligator is the one in alligator is solid.
• 10:36
  Um, all right.
• 10:38
  Number three,
• 10:39
  Kearns: Way to put it.
• 10:40
  Jon: Jurassic Predator Extinction.
• 10:47
  Laura LaCroix must return home in her father's absence and face off with the
• 10:52
  alligator X, the T-Rex of the ocean.
• 10:57
  Kearns: I feel like John was drinking a LaCroix when he wrote
• 11:00
  this and he was like, I need a name.
• 11:02
  Laura LaCroix.
• 11:03
  Ryan: Wait, hold on.
• 11:05
  That's
• 11:05
  Kearns: What's he drinking right now a LaCroix.
• 11:10
  Jon: Just water.
• 11:11
  Ryan: in that cup though.
• 11:13
  It is seltzer water.
• 11:17
  Kearns: He
• 11:17
  Jon: Oh, the seltzer is over here.
• 11:19
  Kearns: one earlier, so I don't trust anything now.
• 11:22
  Really Solid.
• 11:23
  Fake one earlier.
• 11:25
  So his, his creative juices are flowing.
• 11:28
  This, that was a good one.
• 11:29
  If that was fake too.
• 11:30
  That was a very good one.
• 11:31
  Ryan: I'll take a chance.
• 11:36
  Kearns: I, I feel like it's real, but I'm gonna go fake to
• 11:38
  just be, you know, my own man.
• 11:41
  Jon: It's real.
• 11:44
  You wanna know who's in this one,
• 11:45
  Kearns: Yes,
• 11:47
  Jon: Do you remember the rapper, Paul Wall?
• 11:52
  Kearns: yes.
• 11:56
  Jon: Told you I went deep, deep, deep on these.
• 11:59
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 11:59
  You did Paul Wall's probably so excited about it.
• 12:02
  Oh, look at the grills.
• 12:04
  American rapper and DJ on Paul Wall.
• 12:08
  Do we remember the, the rapper Paul Wall?
• 12:12
  Ryan: BC movies.
• 12:14
  I love it.
• 12:15
  I'm just thinking of sci-fi, like those sci-fi trailers.
• 12:18
  Kearns: Look at
• 12:20
  Jon: Oh,
• 12:21
  Kearns: glory.
• 12:23
  The glory.
• 12:25
  Oh,
• 12:28
  Jon: gone last.
• 12:29
  Featuring Paul Wall, baby.
• 12:32
  Kearns: I mean, makes the movie a must watch, right?
• 12:35
  Everybody?
• 12:35
  Ryan: our list next year.
• 12:36
  Jon: I don't think we could talk about it for more than like five minutes.
• 12:39
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 12:40
  Jon: It would have to be like, it would have to be like a special
• 12:43
  episode of all of these like.
• 12:45
  Low B Gator movies, which brings me to movie number four, eaten Alive.
• 12:54
  Judd owns a rundown hotel in east Texas and murders people who bother him or the
• 13:00
  hotel and feeds them to his pet crocodile.
• 13:06
  Kearns: Be more like Judd Judd's.
• 13:09
  Got it figured out big.
• 13:12
  Ryan: I am gonna go fake.
• 13:15
  Jon: This is real.
• 13:17
  Kearns: Wow.
• 13:18
  Jon: This is, this is the movie that,
• 13:20
  Kearns: for,
• 13:21
  Jon: this is the movie that gave me the knowledge that Allison
• 13:25
  thinks that, Robert Englin is hot
• 13:28
  Ryan: He's a sexy beast.
• 13:30
  Jon: because
• 13:31
  Ryan: Claws
• 13:33
  Jon: I,
• 13:33
  Ryan: that.
• 13:33
  Jon: I don't know, I mean, may, maybe I just don't have a good sense
• 13:38
  of what's attractive in a man, so.
• 13:41
  I don't see it, but I like, I like his movies
• 13:45
  Ryan: hold on real quick.
• 13:47
  I was gonna make
• 13:47
  Kearns: yeah.
• 13:48
  Ryan: but I'm gonna, we're gonna include this.
• 13:49
  John disappeared for literally like a minute on my screen and I wasn't
• 13:54
  gonna say anything 'cause I was like, I'm hoping he's gonna come back.
• 13:57
  And he just came back.
• 13:58
  Now I'm very happy.
• 14:01
  Yeah,
• 14:02
  Kearns: good.
• 14:04
  That's good.
• 14:05
  Probably from the screen share.
• 14:06
  Ryan: wait a minute, what just
• 14:07
  Jon: maybe.
• 14:08
  Ryan: Martin's here, John.
• 14:11
  Kearns: Still
• 14:12
  Jon: All right.
• 14:13
  Ready?
• 14:14
  Kearns: All right.
• 14:15
  Let's
• 14:15
  Jon: Next movie, bog Terror.
• 14:19
  A family moves to the Bayou only to discover their home and property
• 14:23
  are overrun by angry Gators.
• 14:27
  Ryan: Yeah, I am gonna go fake.
• 14:31
  Jon: That one is fake.
• 14:33
  Ryan: Okay,
• 14:33
  Jon: I'm almost disappointed now when you guys get them.
• 14:39
  Ryan: There's gonna be a one day,
• 14:40
  Jon: Almost
• 14:42
  Ryan: sweep it and you're gonna be like, dammit, we're going with the D movies.
• 14:47
  Kearns: It's gonna encourage you to, to change your writing style and stuff.
• 14:51
  Jon: Uhhuh.
• 14:52
  Kearns: as we continue to progress.
• 14:54
  Jon: Yep.
• 14:55
  All right.
• 14:55
  Next one, swamp Ritual.
• 15:00
  A Pentecostal church loses containment of their ceremonial alligator,
• 15:04
  and soon the parish becomes food.
• 15:07
  Ryan: like Scientology.
• 15:12
  Okay.
• 15:13
  Kearns: Real
• 15:16
  Ryan: Oh,
• 15:16
  Jon: fake.
• 15:17
  Kearns: Aw man.
• 15:20
  I should have gone with my gut on that one.
• 15:22
  Ryan: It was the joke.
• 15:23
  I'm sorry.
• 15:25
  Jon: I really like that one too.
• 15:27
  I like Pentecostal Church.
• 15:29
  Ryan: just kept thinking like of a demon alligator and just,
• 15:33
  it's just open the box and it's,
• 15:35
  Jon: All right.
• 15:36
  How do you guys feel about Super Gator?
• 15:40
  A geologist is monitoring a volcano when the super gator escapes from a secret lab.
• 15:47
  Kearns: Super Gator.
• 15:48
  Ryan: real.
• 15:48
  And it was a sci-fi film.
• 15:52
  Kearns: I feel like it's almost too lazy of writing for you to have made that up.
• 15:56
  I'm gonna go with real as well.
• 15:58
  Jon: That is real.
• 15:59
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 16:00
  Jon: That is real.
• 16:00
  I,
• 16:00
  Kearns: his, the ones he's made up tonight have been way better than that
• 16:03
  Ryan: to be real.
• 16:04
  You always create the ones that were like, yes, please let it be real.
• 16:07
  And you're like, no, it's fake.
• 16:09
  I'm Te Xenomania Productions.
• 16:11
  We're on it
• 16:11
  Jon: okay.
• 16:13
  This one will be a trick.
• 16:15
  Meth gator.
• 16:16
  Kearns: Mask Gator.
• 16:18
  Jon: Meth gator.
• 16:19
  A local sheriff has to stop a rampaging, meth addicted alligator.
• 16:24
  Ryan: Real.
• 16:30
  I've heard.
• 16:31
  Jon: Real.
• 16:32
  Ryan: Meth Gator is sold at my local Walmart.
• 16:34
  All right.
• 16:36
  Jon: They, they did,
• 16:38
  Kearns: I gotta Walmart, so I know some
• 16:40
  Jon: did
• 16:40
  Kearns: movies.
• 16:41
  Jon: this was a cocaine bear C in
• 16:44
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 16:45
  Ryan: it was like right
• 16:46
  Jon: Yeah.
• 16:47
  Um,
• 16:48
  Ryan: months.
• 16:49
  Jon: it was in very, very short order.
• 16:52
  Yeah.
• 16:52
  I, Gator Farm Massacre
• 16:55
  Kearns: Theater Farm Massacre.
• 16:58
  Jon: in the wake of a hurricane.
• 17:00
  The alligators at the Charvin O Gator Farm, the Gulf's largest
• 17:04
  alligator preserve, have escaped and are tearing through Biloxi.
• 17:08
  Ryan: good, but I'm gonna say fake.
• 17:13
  Jon: It is fake.
• 17:14
  Ryan: we know the tell.
• 17:15
  It's the long log line.
• 17:21
  Jon: Okay.
• 17:22
  You think?
• 17:23
  You think so, huh?
• 17:24
  Kearns: No, he got me with the, to be honest,
• 17:30
  Jon: All right.
• 17:30
  Our last one, CRO of the Damned a crocodile has become possessed by
• 17:38
  the, A crocodile, has become possessed by the ghost of Derek Todd Lee.
• 17:43
  The Baton Rouge serial killer.
• 17:46
  Ryan: That sounds good too.
• 17:47
  Damn it.
• 17:49
  Kearns: of Chuck
• 17:50
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 17:51
  Kearns: a.
• 17:52
  Jon: Derek.
• 17:53
  Derek Todd Lee is a, an actual serial killer.
• 17:57
  Ryan: Lee.
• 17:57
  Ray.
• 17:59
  Jon: There is also a Charles Lee.
• 18:01
  Ray, yes, but Derek.
• 18:04
  Ryan: Wait, hold on.
• 18:04
  Derek.
• 18:04
  What?
• 18:05
  Hold on.
• 18:05
  No.
• 18:07
  Jon: Derek Derek Todd Lee is a real serial killer.
• 18:10
  Ryan: how's,
• 18:12
  Kearns: I'm gonna go with real.
• 18:13
  You're locked in.
• 18:13
  You can't change your answer.
• 18:14
  You can't lose anyway, so it does matter.
• 18:18
  Jon: Oh, it, it's a good thing he didn't change his answer because that one's fake.
• 18:22
  Also,
• 18:23
  Kearns: You're so proud of it too.
• 18:25
  Jon: uh, I did a lot of work.
• 18:27
  I, I cannot tell you how I went looking for Louisiana, Louisiana area serial
• 18:33
  killers to make, possess a that alligator.
• 18:36
  Ryan: movie too.
• 18:37
  On all honesty.
• 18:38
  Kearns: Use some voodoo and voodoo to get it done.
• 18:42
  All right.
• 18:43
  Well this alligator and alligator 1980 is not possessed.
• 18:47
  we mentioned Robert Forster.
• 18:48
  we didn't mention the leading lady's name, and there's also another big name in it.
• 18:54
  Yeah, Michael Gazo is in it.
• 18:56
  Who does he play?
• 18:56
  Ryan?
• 18:57
  Ryan: think he's the chief, the police chief and alligator, but I
• 19:00
  kept calling him the Don because he's in Godfather part two.
• 19:03
  And what kind of initiates Vito Corleone start in the mafia, you know?
• 19:11
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 19:11
  Ryan: each time I saw him, I was like, why,
• 19:13
  Jon: And the,
• 19:14
  Ryan: not speaking Italian?
• 19:16
  It's a little disappointed.
• 19:18
  Jon: and our leading lady is Robin Riker.
• 19:20
  Ryan: Yep.
• 19:22
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 19:22
  Robin Riker.
• 19:23
  Jon: And our,
• 19:24
  Kearns: in this too.
• 19:25
  Jon: she's really good in this.
• 19:27
  Ryan: she is.
• 19:27
  Jon: And our, gator hunter is Henry Silva, who is definitely recognizable also.
• 19:33
  Yeah.
• 19:33
  Ryan: was,
• 19:33
  Jon: Yeah.
• 19:34
  Ryan: he did his part well, and, uh, hotter
• 19:38
  Kearns: 2.0.
• 19:39
  Ryan: King ho's the alligator.
• 19:41
  Jon: Ka Hotter is the alligator, and Brian Cranston is in the
• 19:45
  visual effects department.
• 19:47
  Ryan: No.
• 19:48
  Kearns: Which is kind of cool
• 19:50
  Jon: Yep.
• 19:51
  Kearns: be proud of that to this day too.
• 19:52
  Jon: And,
• 19:53
  Kearns: He is.
• 19:54
  Jon: and we have a, a repeat offender.
• 19:56
  We've been on a John Sales kick.
• 19:58
  This is another John Sales screenplay.
• 20:01
  Kearns: Oh wow.
• 20:01
  Cool.
• 20:02
  Jon: This is the third one in about a month and a half.
• 20:05
  Kearns: Well, he knocked it outta the park with this one.
• 20:07
  This movie had
• 20:07
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 20:08
  Mm-hmm.
• 20:08
  Kearns: as good as it was, and then like you could have
• 20:10
  taken away a lot of the stuff.
• 20:11
  We love the cool shots in the water, the way they did the sewer scenes, the just,
• 20:18
  I don't know, the way they wrote in the bomb at the beginning of the movie, and
• 20:22
  then it came back at the end and stuff.
• 20:23
  And the way they
• 20:24
  Jon: Yep,
• 20:24
  Kearns: ending
• 20:25
  Jon: yep.
• 20:26
  Kearns: suspenseful was awesome too.
• 20:28
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 20:28
  Kearns: it all that away and it's just still like a really good suspenseful,
• 20:32
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 20:33
  Yep.
• 20:34
  It's.
• 20:35
  It's tight.
• 20:36
  It, there's, he doesn't leave loose ends.
• 20:38
  It's like, if you see it happen, it's happening for a reason.
• 20:43
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 20:43
  Ryan: It's very smooth.
• 20:44
  And I think also like it well-written script, but Robert Forrest and
• 20:50
  Robin Riker, Michael Gole, a lot of the actors really shine in this.
• 20:54
  And Robert Forrest is
• 20:56
  Jon: Absolutely.
• 20:57
  Ryan: awesome.
• 20:57
  And I, I, we're gonna, I gotta steal it from you 'cause you met
• 21:03
  Kearns: That's bait.
• 21:04
  That's bait.
• 21:05
  I'm not taking it.
• 21:06
  Ryan: I was gonna, I was gonna
• 21:07
  Kearns: I'm not taking the bait
• 21:08
  Ryan: real
• 21:09
  Jon: I,
• 21:09
  Ryan: because
• 21:11
  Jon: I have to take the bait because it's Forster.
• 21:15
  Kearns: like finding Forrester,
• 21:17
  Ryan: I've
• 21:17
  Kearns: spelled differently.
• 21:18
  Ryan: all day.
• 21:19
  Son of a bitch.
• 21:21
  Jon: Uhuh.
• 21:21
  Ryan: He,
• 21:22
  Kearns: Run Forest
• 21:23
  Jon: So do you guys want a couple reviews to start?
• 21:26
  Kearns: let's hit it.
• 21:28
  Jon: I've.
• 21:30
  As I said, the one stars were hard to find.
• 21:32
  I found them, but we'll start with a five, which doesn't read like a five
• 21:38
  hokey, which I'm guessing he means hokey, but hooky amusing, but a good
• 21:45
  movie to spend a cold day indoors.
• 21:48
  Alligator actually looked fairly real without modern movie technology.
• 21:52
  Was funny at times, but enjoyed it.
• 21:56
  Kearns: I enjoyed it.
• 21:56
  Would you enjoyed it?
• 21:57
  If it wasn't funny at times?
• 22:00
  Jon: I, yeah, it's a very strangely written review, which brings
• 22:04
  me to the one star, and this isn't just anybody's one star.
• 22:10
  I,
• 22:10
  Kearns: to be euthanized.
• 22:11
  Lemme just put that out there.
• 22:12
  Anybody who gave this movie, one star needs to not have their opinion matter.
• 22:17
  Jon: you may regret that in a minute because he's already
• 22:19
  been no longer with us.
• 22:22
  This one star review is, is from Roger Ebert.
• 22:26
  Ryan: no,
• 22:26
  Kearns: Oh,
• 22:27
  Ryan: no.
• 22:27
  Kearns: I don't regret that at all.
• 22:28
  Ryan: keep that.
• 22:29
  Jon: Who, who may not have even watched the movie, which will become
• 22:35
  clear as I read this, the alligator.
• 22:37
  This isn't the full review.
• 22:39
  This is just like sort of his summation.
• 22:41
  The alligator, on the other hand, is smart enough to travel all over the
• 22:46
  city without being seen in one shot.
• 22:49
  He's in a suburban swimming pool, and second, later he's midtown.
• 22:54
  You would not.
• 22:55
  Kearns: is a bit of a gripe because he does travel pretty far between those
• 22:58
  Jon: He does.
• 22:59
  Ryan: quick.
• 22:59
  He's
• 23:00
  Jon: He does.
• 23:02
  You would not think it would be that easy for a 40 foot alligator to sneak
• 23:07
  around in incognito, but then, and here's where I think he didn't watch it.
• 23:12
  New Yorkers are awfully blase.
• 23:15
  Meanwhile, I suggest a plan.
• 23:18
  Kearns: I thought it was New York too.
• 23:21
  Jon: Why not try flushing this movie down the toilet to see if it also
• 23:26
  grows into something big and fearsome?
• 23:28
  One star, Roger Ebert.
• 23:30
  Ryan: You were wrong.
• 23:31
  Kearns: Ew.
• 23:31
  What a dick.
• 23:32
  Um,
• 23:33
  Jon: didn't like
• 23:33
  Kearns: no,
• 23:34
  Jon: horror.
• 23:34
  Kearns: wrong.
• 23:34
  Everybody,
• 23:35
  Ryan: percent.
• 23:36
  Jon: just
• 23:36
  Kearns: a lot of ways on that one.
• 23:38
  But that was a gr that was a legitimate, right.
• 23:40
  That was where
• 23:42
  Jon: the traveling the traveling's a bit.
• 23:44
  Yeah.
• 23:44
  Kearns: harrowing scenes too,
• 23:46
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 23:46
  Kearns: and not all the traveling, but that traveling in particular.
• 23:50
  'cause most of the traveling, he has easy access to the waterways
• 23:53
  and back into the sewers.
• 23:54
  And the sewers are theoretically how he travels around.
• 23:57
  He didn't have a problem with him breaking through the sidewalk through concrete,
• 24:01
  Ryan: a 40 foot
• 24:02
  Kearns: like
• 24:03
  Jon: mean, he may have earlier, this is like a multi page review.
• 24:09
  Ryan: Oh,
• 24:10
  Kearns: Oh, wow.
• 24:11
  Got it.
• 24:12
  Jon: Yeah.
• 24:13
  This was like.
• 24:15
  Kearns: Yikes.
• 24:15
  Jon: Really pissed.
• 24:16
  Roger Ebert off.
• 24:18
  Ryan: I,
• 24:19
  Jon: was, a one thumb way down from him.
• 24:23
  Kearns: I cannot imagine why you would not like the movie on that scale.
• 24:26
  It was a very entertaining movie.
• 24:28
  Ryan: it
• 24:28
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 24:29
  Ryan: episode.
• 24:30
  He and, uh, Cisco just hated horror films, it seems, or, I mean, mostly slashers, but
• 24:36
  you can't really consider this a slasher, and he's bringing that slasher hate to it.
• 24:42
  I
• 24:42
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 24:45
  Ryan: quickly travels, and you're gonna notice that.
• 24:47
  But mention like, did he mention the writing, the
• 24:50
  directing, like any technical,
• 24:55
  Jon: favorably.
• 24:56
  Ryan: a.
• 24:58
  Jon: Not favorably.
• 24:59
  He was, he, this was not him.
• 25:01
  This was not for him.
• 25:02
  And I, listen, there, is a world where I can sort of understand.
• 25:07
  A level of fatigue because you know, you're four years removed from
• 25:11
  jaws and there have been how many jaws knockoffs in that time period?
• 25:16
  It's very, it would end at that time.
• 25:19
  Probably be very easy to write this off as just another,
• 25:24
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 25:25
  Kearns: Yeah, that's fair.
• 25:26
  Jon: and to not give it sort of the attention that it really deserved.
• 25:31
  Ryan: here's the biggest question.
• 25:34
  What would you consider the better of the Jos?
• 25:37
  Like, I guess you can say, I don't wanna say ripoffs 'cause they're not, but
• 25:42
  would you consider orca, or alligator?
• 25:46
  'cause I'm changing, I'm changing my
• 25:48
  Jon: I
• 25:48
  Ryan: all I'm,
• 25:50
  Kearns: Ana's
• 25:50
  Jon: peak
• 25:51
  Kearns: piranha's third in that for sure, and then it's between Orca
• 25:54
  and Alligator and I'm with John.
• 25:55
  I
• 25:56
  Jon: alligator
• 25:57
  Kearns: it.
• 25:57
  Jon: alligator's.
• 25:58
  The peak piranha's two for me.
• 26:00
  Orca gets, orca gets kind of too heavy.
• 26:05
  Ryan: Yeah, that's
• 26:06
  Kearns: That's what I like about it.
• 26:07
  There are stakes, there's emotional.
• 26:11
  Jon: Yeah.
• 26:11
  Yeah.
• 26:12
  I, I don't, I don't always want the emotional snake stakes when
• 26:15
  I'm watching killer animal movies.
• 26:18
  Kearns: I suppose that's fair.
• 26:20
  But alligator like is, is there are campy moments with some
• 26:24
  of the kills and things like
• 26:25
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 26:25
  Kearns: like, this is silly.
• 26:27
  And then they do, they kind of hit you with a few, well, at
• 26:29
  least one with a kid in the pool.
• 26:31
  It was rough.
• 26:32
  Jon: In the pool is rough.
• 26:34
  Ryan: I,
• 26:35
  Kearns: I hated that.
• 26:36
  And you weren't expecting it either.
• 26:37
  Ryan: when they're leading him, you kind of sense somethings like boating and then
• 26:42
  when they do like show like the kid and a little bit of the pool, like moving
• 26:48
  a little bit, you can realize that the
• 26:51
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 26:51
  Ryan: in there you think, oh, maybe this kid will see it, which he does, but
• 26:56
  they still push him in and then it's.
• 26:59
  Just to pull the
• 26:59
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 27:00
  Because he is the only one that does.
• 27:03
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 27:03
  Jon: The other kids never see it until there's a pool of blood.
• 27:07
  And it, you know, it's also one of those scenes where you're wa like,
• 27:11
  you think, you realize it's happening and then you, you're sort of watching
• 27:15
  like they're not going to kill a kid.
• 27:18
  Like it's, it's a different, it's a different swimming pool.
• 27:22
  It's something, there's something else there.
• 27:26
  Like it's just ripples in the water and they're trying to like build some tension.
• 27:31
  No, no.
• 27:32
  That kid's getting eaten.
• 27:33
  Ryan: There's no one's.
• 27:34
  No one's safe.
• 27:36
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 27:36
  Ryan: No one's safe.
• 27:38
  Kearns: yeah.
• 27:38
  Jon: Yeah.
• 27:39
  Nobody is sick.
• 27:40
  Kearns: a few kids, or at least knocks a few kids around at that
• 27:43
  wedding too, or wherever they were
• 27:45
  Ryan: The
• 27:45
  Jon: Yeah.
• 27:46
  Kearns: so at this point, we're probably not gonna just run through the plot
• 27:49
  or anything like storyboard style, but we cannot kind of give you an idea.
• 27:54
  detective played by Robert, uh, Forster is, that's what he said.
• 28:02
  I've been saying his name right the whole time.
• 28:03
  Ryan: right 'cause I, I got, I'm gonna probably say
• 28:05
  Kearns: Forster.
• 28:07
  Jon: I mean, I mean, if we're rolling with this, these things, he's not alive.
• 28:10
  Ryan: away.
• 28:11
  Kearns: Yeah, he's
• 28:11
  Jon: Tim Curry is, Robert Forster is not.
• 28:14
  Kearns: now.
• 28:14
  We had a whole text chain about this while watching the movie.
• 28:16
  It was pretty funny.
• 28:17
  he realizes something's up.
• 28:19
  They think there's a serial killer taking people out in the sewers and it quickly
• 28:23
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 28:24
  Kearns: fishy.
• 28:25
  They, the revelation that it's an alligator happens
• 28:28
  pretty early in the movie,
• 28:30
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 28:30
  Kearns: really behind him.
• 28:31
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 28:32
  Kearns: they're like, you're crazy.
• 28:33
  You let your partner die and you're outta your mind now.
• 28:37
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 28:38
  Kearns: this super smoking hot scientist to come help out, and then he beds her,
• 28:42
  which is like super Robert Forrester.
• 28:44
  Jon: The, the super hot scientist who is also the girl
• 28:49
  whose alligator gets flushed.
• 28:51
  Kearns: Yeah, that was a nice little tie in because
• 28:53
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 28:54
  Kearns: who flushed the g well, her
• 28:55
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 28:56
  Yeah.
• 28:57
  Yeah.
• 28:57
  Kearns: but she fell in love with Gators and stuff, and she was at that
• 29:00
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 29:01
  Mm-hmm.
• 29:02
  Kearns: It's all very nice and
• 29:03
  Jon: And like, there are so many things that tie in.
• 29:06
  The alligator's name is Ramon, and then there's this scene in, Robert Forster's
• 29:12
  apartment where he has a painting
• 29:14
  Ryan: Yep.
• 29:15
  Jon: by an artist whose first name is Ramon.
• 29:17
  I'm blanking on his last name at the moment.
• 29:19
  Ryan: I noticed
• 29:20
  Jon: But like, it, it's all these little touches.
• 29:22
  Kearns: Yeah, they, they really layered things into the
• 29:25
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 29:26
  Kearns: Like you said, it's just very well done.
• 29:27
  You can watch it a couple times and you enjoy it
• 29:30
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 29:31
  And I like, I don't want to get on another soapbox about things, but
• 29:34
  you do have a level of cautionary tale that animals are not gifts.
• 29:39
  They're not things to just get on a whim and then get rid of.
• 29:44
  Don't give, rabbits as Easter gifts.
• 29:48
  If you want a rabbit, adopt a rabbit and care for the rabbit.
• 29:51
  It's not a gift.
• 29:52
  It's not a play thing.
• 29:55
  And don't adopt alligators.
• 29:56
  What are you gonna do with an alligator?
• 30:00
  Kearns: It keeps growing.
• 30:01
  Yeah.
• 30:01
  If it keeps growing, you're not in good shape there.
• 30:04
  I don't know.
• 30:04
  Jon: I don't know.
• 30:05
  Kearns: in
• 30:05
  Jon: don't know a lot of
• 30:06
  Kearns: Because you can't just let
• 30:07
  Jon: all,
• 30:07
  Kearns: there either.
• 30:08
  Jon: no, I don't know a lot of alligator science, but one thing they
• 30:12
  put across is that an alligator will grow to the size of its environment.
• 30:17
  Ryan: Yes.
• 30:18
  Kearns: Yeah, they get big they can.
• 30:22
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 30:23
  Kearns: big.
• 30:25
  think crocodiles get enormous and gators don't get very big.
• 30:28
  Gators get big they're allowed to.
• 30:31
  Ryan: she does mention in the movie, 'cause she's a scientist and she knows
• 30:36
  all about this, is that they're not supposed to grow 40 feet, especially
• 30:39
  if they're underground, however.
• 30:43
  Kearns: Well,
• 30:43
  Ryan: Well,
• 30:43
  Kearns: one couldn't.
• 30:44
  Yeah,
• 30:44
  Ryan: Slate Industries,
• 30:46
  Kearns: you don't get that big.
• 30:47
  Yeah,
• 30:48
  Ryan: those,
• 30:48
  Jon: Those bastards.
• 30:50
  Ryan: they're testing dogs and they're throwing the dogs in the sewers and that,
• 30:54
  you know what I, I do like that nod too when Robert Forrester goes into the pet
• 31:00
  shop and he is like, my dog was taken.
• 31:03
  I need a new one.
• 31:04
  And the guy's like, oh, I don't know what happened.
• 31:06
  And he's technically the one taking the dogs to bring them to the lab.
• 31:11
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 31:12
  Ryan: happy
• 31:12
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 31:12
  Ryan: it.
• 31:13
  I was like, yeah.
• 31:15
  Jon: Oh yeah.
• 31:16
  Kearns: yeah.
• 31:16
  Jon: You know, and you know he's going to, you know, he is going to like, he almost.
• 31:24
  Well, I mean, at that point he served his purpose to the movie.
• 31:28
  Ryan: true.
• 31:29
  I, I thought he would like, keep going.
• 31:30
  'cause I felt like there should have been a little more maybe
• 31:33
  with like the scientists.
• 31:35
  'cause I mean, you do have
• 31:37
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 31:37
  Ryan: Feel at the end of what happens to them.
• 31:40
  But I feel like a couple more scenes to show how vile they are.
• 31:43
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 31:45
  Ryan: you get the idea, you get the connection with Slade and the
• 31:49
  Jon: Yeah.
• 31:49
  Ryan: but it's like, I feel
• 31:51
  Jon: Yeah.
• 31:51
  Ryan: maybe you can be more in your face if I had to say, if that's fair to
• 31:55
  Kearns: Right.
• 31:56
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 31:57
  Ryan: got that idea, but then it's like maybe a
• 32:00
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 32:01
  Ryan: there, Oh, uh, it's a great movie though.
• 32:04
  Jon: that, that's fair.
• 32:05
  I, I would say that the dog, corpses, winding up in the sewer
• 32:11
  is not necessarily Slade's fault.
• 32:14
  In that they don't know that that's how he's disposing of
• 32:18
  them, but it's your fault.
• 32:21
  I think that's the kind of equivocating that, that we do.
• 32:25
  But it's your fault.
• 32:27
  Kearns: And so that listeners is why the Gator gets so big, by the way.
• 32:32
  Just so that's how they tie that in and that's how they make the first death.
• 32:35
  Pretty cool
• 32:36
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 32:38
  Kearns: we like when he died.
• 32:39
  Ryan: the
• 32:39
  Jon: Yep.
• 32:40
  Yep.
• 32:42
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 32:43
  Jon: Yeah.
• 32:44
  Kearns: They're
• 32:44
  Jon: The,
• 32:44
  Kearns: Jaws rip off music when it's
• 32:46
  Jon: the, yeah.
• 32:47
  Kearns: in the beginning?
• 32:48
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 32:48
  Kearns: from that after a while,
• 32:50
  Jon: They really did.
• 32:51
  Yeah.
• 32:51
  Kearns: keep it with it, they kind of switch back from like the
• 32:54
  other way, which is interesting.
• 32:56
  Ryan: Jaws rip off to Piranha ripoff.
• 32:59
  That's, it's
• 33:02
  Kearns: yeah.
• 33:02
  Ryan: little in, in the water.
• 33:06
  Jon: I mean, it's John Sales.
• 33:08
  Ryan: Uh,
• 33:08
  Jon: It's John sales writing his own movies again,
• 33:12
  Ryan: What do you,
• 33:12
  Kearns: yeah.
• 33:13
  Ryan: John?
• 33:13
  Uh, alligator.
• 33:15
  It's a better loose alligator.
• 33:16
  Kearns: Speaking of Jaws, jaws rip off.
• 33:19
  They, they bring in the crocodile hunter and this one.
• 33:21
  Spoiler alert, everybody.
• 33:23
  This one doesn't get killed by a stingray.
• 33:25
  This one gets killed by an alligator
• 33:29
  Jon: they, and this is, this is the like,
• 33:34
  Kearns: racist, by the way.
• 33:35
  Jon: oh, they, they set that guy up to be such a dirt bag and it's so well done.
• 33:42
  Like, and it, like, it's, it's in that kind of way that people
• 33:46
  wouldn't even necessarily always recognize that he's a racist.
• 33:51
  But talking to the city kids, like they're, tribesmen in Africa and
• 33:56
  he's on a lion hunt and they know the area, so they're gonna lead him right
• 34:00
  to the predator that he's hunting.
• 34:02
  Ryan: during that entire time.
• 34:05
  was,
• 34:08
  Kearns: And then one dude finally has to knuckle under
• 34:09
  and be like, yeah, I'm going.
• 34:11
  Ryan: he like,
• 34:12
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 34:12
  Kearns: goes out.
• 34:13
  Ryan: basically.
• 34:13
  He's like, oh, you don't have the
• 34:15
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 34:15
  Ryan: they're like, fine, I'll go.
• 34:18
  And then that was,
• 34:20
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 34:21
  Ryan: debt scene too, because like.
• 34:24
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 34:24
  That was one of my
• 34:25
  Jon: Yeah.
• 34:26
  Yeah, yeah.
• 34:27
  Kearns: He pops outta the garbage.
• 34:29
  Ryan: they do like a,
• 34:30
  Jon: He's waiting for him.
• 34:32
  Ryan: They did a um, uh, closeup.
• 34:34
  They did a far shot.
• 34:35
  And you just see the alligator just chopping on him and
• 34:38
  the guy's just trying to
• 34:39
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 34:40
  Kearns: that's good.
• 34:40
  Ryan: nothing's fiery.
• 34:42
  Jon: Uh.
• 34:43
  Kearns: Well, yeah, you can't get the bolt action rifle to work and they
• 34:46
  call, well also it's a, he treats it like a shotgun and that's a rifle.
• 34:50
  So he is trying to pump the rifle, which is kind of interesting.
• 34:54
  And I was looking, I re-watched that scene a few times to see if I was
• 34:57
  getting it wrong and I was like, no, he's trying to use it like a shotgun.
• 34:59
  This is bizarre as hell.
• 35:01
  And obviously, well, maybe they did that on purpose 'cause it didn't
• 35:04
  fire, so he didn't, obviously didn't know what he was doing
• 35:06
  Ryan: 'cause
• 35:07
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 35:07
  Ryan: rounds in that he only fired approximately four.
• 35:11
  Kearns: too.
• 35:11
  Right.
• 35:12
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 35:13
  Kearns: was getting eaten, was it for,
• 35:15
  Ryan: the alligator.
• 35:15
  Three when he got attacked and then one when it dropped.
• 35:20
  As much as real as they were trying to, of course make it.
• 35:24
  I mean, if a rifle's falling on concrete and it hits the right
• 35:27
  way, I would, I would think it would just ricochet or like go off.
• 35:32
  I might be mistaken,
• 35:34
  Jon: I would sort of say this too about, about that, about what you noticed
• 35:38
  about the pump, and maybe I'm like sort of reading too deep into this.
• 35:42
  It's sort of like the moment of panic of this guy who has envisioned
• 35:48
  himself as the alpha hunter, suddenly not being the alpha hunter anymore.
• 35:55
  And being the hunted.
• 35:56
  Ryan: he
• 35:56
  Kearns: got eight
• 35:57
  Ryan: He broke a horror rule.
• 35:59
  He was drinking.
• 36:00
  I mean, Robert Forrester broke a rule too, but we're gonna accept that.
• 36:04
  'cause that's Robert Forrester, but, huh.
• 36:06
  Kearns: because it got paid
• 36:08
  Ryan: Well,
• 36:09
  Kearns: it got late.
• 36:10
  Ryan: that, that's a,
• 36:11
  Kearns: Really broke,
• 36:12
  Ryan: he,
• 36:13
  Kearns: but it was like a, it was like a romantic love scene.
• 36:16
  It was on the back of a Volvo.
• 36:19
  It was at her mom's house, which was also weird.
• 36:21
  It was like, all right, we're going upstairs now.
• 36:23
  She's
• 36:23
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 36:24
  Kearns: row.
• 36:24
  Ryan: you mean in the
• 36:25
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 36:30
  Someplace very uncomfortable.
• 36:34
  Ryan: uh, Ben Affleck, what was he thinking?
• 36:37
  sch,
• 36:38
  Jon: he was thinking he needed the money.
• 36:40
  Kearns: Yes.
• 36:41
  Jon: so early in Ben Affleck's career.
• 36:44
  Ryan: rats.
• 36:44
  That was, that was my first Kevin Smith encounter besides dogma, so.
• 36:50
  Kearns: People are gonna be so confused how we made, we were talking
• 36:52
  about Mallrats before we started recording, so it's on his mind.
• 36:56
  Everybody.
• 36:57
  That's why he jumped to Mallrats.
• 36:59
  I mean, it was, there was a tertiary connection, but it
• 37:01
  was, it was already on his mind.
• 37:03
  Ryan: My
• 37:04
  Kearns: All right.
• 37:05
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 37:06
  Kearns: the, uh, hunter gets eaten and, uh, not just getting chopped on, but the
• 37:09
  actual swallowing of him was pretty cool.
• 37:11
  And John's
• 37:11
  Jon: Yeah.
• 37:12
  Kearns: for you on that.
• 37:14
  Wasn't that the guy who did the effects that got swallowed, not the actor.
• 37:19
  Ryan: really?
• 37:19
  Jon: Oh, yeah.
• 37:20
  Yeah.
• 37:21
  Kearns: oh, I thought we figured that out because the
• 37:23
  Jon: No, I don't know if we did.
• 37:24
  Kearns: name came up on the screen.
• 37:26
  Jon: See, I watched, the disc, so the name didn't come up on the screen.
• 37:29
  You watched it on Amazon?
• 37:34
  Kearns: The, the Amazon.
• 37:35
  Uh, one of the things I said early on was Amazon wasn't
• 37:38
  putting their actors' names up,
• 37:40
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 37:41
  Kearns: made me furious.
• 37:42
  Ryan: mine too.
• 37:42
  I was looking for it.
• 37:43
  It took me like, I kept clicking it and I was like, where is it?
• 37:47
  Where the hell
• 37:47
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 37:48
  Ryan: I'm paying?
• 37:50
  Kearns: And it's annoying because they do it and it spoils a goddamn movie,
• 37:54
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 37:54
  Kearns: they won't do it when it's a freaking masterpiece.
• 37:57
  Jon: Yeah.
• 37:58
  Ryan: Flip it.
• 37:58
  Put alligator up and take the one from frailty off, please.
• 38:02
  Amazon.
• 38:03
  Thank you.
• 38:04
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 38:04
  There you go.
• 38:05
  Ryan: a year for Amazon Prime.
• 38:07
  You can do us that favor.
• 38:10
  Kearns: I.
• 38:10
  Ryan: Now they're gonna take frailty off.
• 38:12
  They're gonna be like, they're gonna be like, screw you, xenomania.
• 38:16
  Now we're gonna, we're
• 38:17
  Jon: Yeah, I,
• 38:18
  Kearns: Bezos watches the
• 38:19
  Jon: I'm sure, I'm sure we're a huge blip on the Amazon radar.
• 38:23
  Ryan: man.
• 38:23
  Come on now.
• 38:24
  Number one.
• 38:25
  Come on.
• 38:27
  Kearns: Eh,
• 38:27
  Jon: The o the only way I register on a, the, the only way I register
• 38:32
  on Amazon is how much money I spend.
• 38:35
  Kearns: that's true too.
• 38:36
  Ryan: plus.
• 38:36
  All right.
• 38:39
  Advertise us.
• 38:40
  Kearns: they've got my books and they do stream our
• 38:43
  Jon: Uh.
• 38:43
  Kearns: So do it.
• 38:46
  Do it.
• 38:48
  Jon: so let's hit on, usually these are one stars, but like
• 38:51
  I said, not a lot of ones.
• 38:52
  Here's the five.
• 38:53
  Ryan: happy because you know what, this movie deserves three stars and above.
• 38:57
  This is if we're doing it out of five for me, this is a four and a half out of five.
• 39:03
  Kearns: Yeah, if
• 39:04
  Jon: Yeah, that's,
• 39:04
  Kearns: Black, then three
• 39:06
  Jon: mm-hmm.
• 39:06
  Kearns: the new one star for alligator.
• 39:09
  Jon: Yep.
• 39:09
  So five stars
• 39:11
  Kearns: but I said it.
• 39:12
  Ryan: Seven outta five.
• 39:13
  Jon: and I, I feel like.
• 39:15
  For the most part, any one of us could have written this.
• 39:18
  five stars.
• 39:20
  Watch this as a kid when it first came out and it scared me in theater.
• 39:25
  This is one of my personal favorite low budget horror movies of the eighties.
• 39:29
  It's entertaining all the way through.
• 39:32
  Special effects are on point as well.
• 39:38
  Uh, he, he wrote affect,
• 39:41
  Ryan: I'm, I'm not gonna.
• 39:43
  Jon: and I think I'm purposely trying to kill the English teacher now, so.
• 39:47
  Kearns: you did a good job.
• 39:48
  That was like a gut punch.
• 39:50
  Ryan: It's effects, buddy.
• 39:52
  gonna give you it to you.
• 39:54
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 39:55
  Mm-hmm.
• 39:58
  Ryan: this is,
• 39:59
  Kearns: Alright.
• 39:59
  Ryan: gonna hear one of the kids and I know which one is gonna say, Hey, you ever
• 40:03
  see special effects in a movie, Mr. Moore?
• 40:05
  And I'm gonna be like, what you mean effects x?
• 40:09
  Kearns: Remember kids, if it causes something, it's an effect.
• 40:13
  If it is the, if it is the result of something, it is an effect.
• 40:17
  An effect is a noun.
• 40:19
  a thing.
• 40:20
  It's a thing.
• 40:21
  Jon: If you're really unsure, use Impact.
• 40:26
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 40:27
  That could work too.
• 40:28
  Jon: I will guarantee you, if you read something that I wrote and I used Impact,
• 40:32
  it's 90% of the time because I wasn't a hundred percent sure which one to use.
• 40:37
  Kearns: I still roll back and look at 'em again and again and again.
• 40:40
  I'm like, wait, am I right on this?
• 40:41
  Because they, it's super confusing.
• 40:43
  It's one of the worst things in our language, I think.
• 40:45
  Ryan: There and there.
• 40:47
  Kearns: Besides another fun one there, there and there.
• 40:50
  But, but that one's not as bad.
• 40:52
  It's is also like, you know, the rule, but you go back and you look at
• 40:55
  it, you're like, I screwed that up.
• 40:57
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 40:57
  Kearns: Uh, anyway, moving on.
• 40:59
  So
• 41:00
  Jon: Moving on,
• 41:01
  Kearns: is there a one star on as well or is it just the five star?
• 41:05
  Jon: I have a half star for you.
• 41:07
  Ryan: do we do these
• 41:07
  Kearns: Oh, Jesus.
• 41:09
  you're just trying
• 41:12
  Jon: This is a rage baby half star, too.
• 41:16
  Half star, what a pile of ever loving trash.
• 41:24
  How in the world did this receive?
• 41:27
  84% from critics on Rotten Tomatoes.
• 41:31
  This is just one example of proof that the critics here have lost their minds.
• 41:39
  I remember watching this as a kid in the eighties, and the alligator in the sewer
• 41:43
  premise was attractive to me then, but I didn't remember much else about it.
• 41:49
  Kearns: What
• 41:49
  Jon: So.
• 41:50
  Kearns: to you?
• 41:51
  Jon: So thought I'd give it another viewing.
• 41:55
  It's also listed as one of the top films about killer alligators.
• 42:01
  Unbelievable.
• 42:03
  Unless you like poor creature effects, he at least he got that
• 42:07
  right and ridiculous dialogue in alligator attack scenes and plot.
• 42:14
  And mostly just plan.
• 42:17
  Just plan bad acting.
• 42:21
  Then I suggest not wasting your time with this one.
• 42:25
  Easy as can be.
• 42:28
  Watch Rogue instead.
• 42:32
  Ryan: What's rogue?
• 42:35
  Kearns: What is
• 42:35
  Jon: Oh, rogue rogue's pretty good.
• 42:37
  Rogue is a, rogue is a, I believe Rogue was a crocodile.
• 42:40
  I think it's an set in Africa.
• 42:42
  I, and I also believe it's,
• 42:44
  Kearns: okay.
• 42:45
  Jon: it's based on a true story.
• 42:46
  I'm trying to remember.
• 42:47
  Um, I.
• 42:48
  Kearns: There's a man eater.
• 42:49
  You can, there's a ball on episode on that.
• 42:52
  If, uh, you guys wanna patronize another YouTuber who's getting,
• 42:55
  he's doing quite well for himself.
• 42:56
  But, uh, yeah, if you're listening and you wanna just look into that
• 43:00
  quickly, that's a cool story.
• 43:02
  Jon: I think the lead.
• 43:03
  Kearns: killed the shit out of those people.
• 43:05
  Like a
• 43:06
  Jon: Yeah.
• 43:06
  Yeah.
• 43:07
  Kearns: they,
• 43:07
  Jon: I think the lead actress in that was, um, the woman who was in at
• 43:12
  least one of the Silent Hill movies.
• 43:17
  Mitchell Radda Mitchell, I don't know how to pronounce her first name.
• 43:22
  It's coming.
• 43:22
  It's R-A-D-H-A-R-A-D-H-A,
• 43:29
  Ryan: R-A-D-H-A.
• 43:30
  Radha,
• 43:31
  Jon: like that.
• 43:32
  I'm not, I've never heard it said.
• 43:33
  Yeah,
• 43:35
  Kearns: It's, it's,
• 43:37
  Jon: she.
• 43:41
  Ryan: I'm just thinking of like, that being a name from Star Wars.
• 43:45
  Who's this?
• 43:45
  Jedi Radha.
• 43:47
  Ha.
• 43:48
  What
• 43:50
  what, what part of the
• 43:51
  Jon: She, she had a moment in the, in the, in the aughts.
• 43:58
  Kearns: we broke pretty bad.
• 44:01
  We keeping this in.
• 44:06
  Jon: Yeah.
• 44:06
  I mean, rogue is a good movie.
• 44:08
  It's not alligator, but Rogue is a decent movie.
• 44:10
  Ryan: say I disagree with the whole idea, with the plot being messed up.
• 44:14
  The only thing that I had question on was he shoes her away.
• 44:20
  And like, he's like, goodbye and all that.
• 44:22
  And then he goes to the mom's house and then she's in the rope, in the, room.
• 44:25
  And like he's apologizing to her, but he's on top of her while he's
• 44:30
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 44:30
  Ryan: sorry.
• 44:32
  Kearns: Yeah, they, they moved in real quick.
• 44:34
  I'm sorry.
• 44:34
  Lemme give you some of this Robert Forest dick and I'll
• 44:37
  make everything alright baby.
• 44:39
  Ryan: how it
• 44:39
  Jon: I mean,
• 44:40
  Ryan: That's
• 44:40
  Kearns: And indeed it does.
• 44:42
  Jon: yeah, that's nine, that's 1980 seduction right there.
• 44:45
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 44:46
  It's kind of a little bit of, uh, sexual assault mixed in.
• 44:49
  Ryan: if you go back
• 44:50
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 44:50
  Ryan: Goldfinger, I mean the barnyard
• 44:54
  Kearns: I, yeah,
• 44:54
  Ryan: and the
• 44:55
  Kearns: that's,
• 44:55
  Ryan: the Golden Gun when Roger Moore, um, his version of Bond smacks, Mott
• 45:00
  Adams, and then they start making out.
• 45:02
  Kearns: I mean, like, women aren't into that.
• 45:05
  Uh, and I'm not being, I'm not like telling tales outside of school here.
• 45:09
  We're all aware you read porn ladies, so.
• 45:13
  And the dragon riders choking you and whatnot.
• 45:16
  Like we, we figured it out.
• 45:18
  like we know that there, that was the way they got that done back then in the movies
• 45:23
  and whatnot, and there was too much of that going on in the homes that wasn't
• 45:27
  okay, but let's watch Barbarian again.
• 45:30
  We can get a better handle.
• 45:32
  So,
• 45:32
  Ryan: that, that will be a live watch on
• 45:34
  Kearns: yeah.
• 45:35
  Ryan: Eventually.
• 45:37
  Kearns: But it was a funny scene by the way, where he's just, they did just
• 45:41
  like, yeah, they're supposed to have sex.
• 45:42
  We're just gonna have them like actively getting into it while they're
• 45:45
  talking about stuff from the plot.
• 45:47
  Ryan: How's that
• 45:47
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 45:48
  Ryan: kissing?
• 45:48
  Oh, man, it's 40 feet long.
• 45:51
  Kissing.
• 45:51
  Are you talking about my alligator or the alligator?
• 45:54
  Kissing then action.
• 45:56
  And it's, it's, it, it, I, I just, it's like, what the hell, man?
• 46:03
  You could have just done it better.
• 46:04
  Maybe like have them talk and then have the sex scene, you know,
• 46:10
  were
• 46:10
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 46:12
  Kearns: Stock in that movie grows exponentially.
• 46:16
  and when we get to the end, they decide they're gonna blow it
• 46:18
  up, which is a smart way to go.
• 46:20
  Everything else hasn't worked.
• 46:21
  it's eaten a bunch of people, including the mayor and
• 46:24
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 46:25
  Kearns: funny.
• 46:25
  Jon: Well, yeah.
• 46:26
  Be, yeah.
• 46:28
  Before, before we get.
• 46:29
  Kearns: touch on that.
• 46:30
  Jon: To there, we get the wedding scene that's very much a jaws four
• 46:34
  moment before Jaws four existed, where you have an alligator hunting
• 46:39
  specific people seemingly, 'cause that alligator's going straightforward.
• 46:45
  The slate industry's wedding.
• 46:47
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 46:47
  He had a purpose.
• 46:49
  Jon: It, it, it gets, it gets a mayor, it gets slate, it gets a bunch of guests.
• 46:56
  Kearns: mm-hmm.
• 46:58
  In the car.
• 46:59
  Yeah, it was pretty cool.
• 47:01
  Ryan: this car with your tail right now?
• 47:02
  I am so in it.
• 47:03
  Yeah.
• 47:04
  Kearns: And then you're gonna see the blood trickling out if you
• 47:06
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 47:07
  Kearns: too and watch the cut scenes of him.
• 47:10
  He is like sitting in a black room, but he is supposed to be in the
• 47:12
  back of limo and all he is doing in it is he's going like this.
• 47:15
  Oh, he's leaning over.
• 47:18
  pretty funny.
• 47:20
  so yeah, he messes that up and then they decide, going to blow him up.
• 47:24
  They come full circle with that bomb idea from the fake bomber or the bomber
• 47:28
  with the fake bomb in the beginning of the movie that he takes out.
• 47:32
  And then while the bomb is getting primed and ready, the alligator
• 47:36
  is chasing him and he climbs up.
• 47:38
  And the very similar scene to where he lost not even his partner, just some
• 47:41
  random red shirt guy from the police force that you knew was gonna die.
• 47:46
  The second he is like, I'll go with you.
• 47:48
  Jon: Uh
• 47:49
  Kearns: and he's, he's waiting to pull, push the manhole cover
• 47:52
  off and perfect, perfect setup.
• 47:55
  In my opinion.
• 47:56
  The garbage truck stops.
• 47:58
  The old lady pulls up right up to it and car wheel is on the manhole cover.
• 48:03
  And who shows up to yell at her?
• 48:05
  And she does give her what for?
• 48:07
  Ryan: Is Dr. Marissa Kendall
• 48:09
  Jon: mm-hmm.
• 48:10
  Ryan: and she just forces
• 48:10
  Kearns: Yep.
• 48:11
  Ryan: there.
• 48:11
  She
• 48:11
  Kearns: She shoo them.
• 48:13
  Yeah.
• 48:13
  She shoves the old blue hair out of the way because she's not
• 48:16
  picking up what she's laying down.
• 48:18
  She's like, yeah.
• 48:19
  And she, gets the car off, he gets out and then somehow manages to save her,
• 48:24
  Ryan: Yep.
• 48:24
  Kearns: which was pretty funny.
• 48:26
  he grabs her and covers her and then they have that cool scene where it blows up.
• 48:29
  You do see the alligator definitively gets killed.
• 48:32
  He's done.
• 48:33
  and then all the manhole covers in the city blow off,
• 48:36
  which was pretty cool scene.
• 48:37
  Ryan: lady didn't blow up.
• 48:38
  I was waiting for that.
• 48:39
  I was like, this woman's gonna blow up.
• 48:41
  Just
• 48:41
  Kearns: That would've been neat.
• 48:43
  Yeah.
• 48:43
  She would've been that.
• 48:44
  They, they just made her so dumb.
• 48:46
  She was, it was like, it was the worst indictment of the elderly I've seen
• 48:49
  on film in a long time where it's like, God, look at this useless old
• 48:53
  bag where to ruin the whole movie, but it builds that whole, her being
• 48:57
  in the way builds tension in a perfect way that I wasn't expecting in that
• 49:01
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 49:02
  Ryan: Agreed.
• 49:02
  Jon: Yeah.
• 49:03
  Kearns: kinda like gripping the couch for a second there, and I knew how it end.
• 49:06
  Ryan: it, I was like, oh shit.
• 49:07
  He, he's gonna die.
• 49:09
  I was like, this is how they're gonna do it.
• 49:11
  They're gonna do 'em dirty like this.
• 49:13
  basically, and I was thinking about this as we're talking about it in
• 49:18
  Lethal Weapon, when Mel Gibson's c character, um, Ricks, he stops the
• 49:25
  guy with the gun and stuff in the beginning, in the police station, they're
• 49:29
  like, well, he is a lethal weapon.
• 49:30
  Technically, Robert
• 49:32
  Jon: Okay.
• 49:32
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 49:33
  Ryan: in this movie.
• 49:34
  All right, so
• 49:36
  Jon: Absolutely.
• 49:36
  Ryan: I love
• 49:37
  Kearns: yeah,
• 49:37
  Ryan: but Lethal
• 49:38
  Kearns: that's fair.
• 49:38
  Ryan: from Alligator.
• 49:40
  All right,
• 49:41
  Kearns: Well, I think a few movies may have, like, people don't
• 49:44
  give this movie enough credit.
• 49:47
  Jon: No, I mean,
• 49:48
  Kearns: like he just mentioned, jaws four literally writes that
• 49:50
  exact through line into the
• 49:53
  Jon: mm-hmm.
• 49:53
  Ryan: alligator is the
• 49:54
  Jon: Yeah.
• 49:55
  Mm-hmm.
• 49:56
  Ryan: of our stuff in the eighties that we either love or love to
• 49:58
  make fun of, which is phenomenal.
• 50:01
  Kearns: I mean, I feel that way.
• 50:05
  I feel like it could be that way.
• 50:07
  It's crazier.
• 50:08
  Things have happened,
• 50:09
  Jon: I, I think when we get, when we get into top fives, you're going to hear the
• 50:14
  extent of the influence of this movie and
• 50:18
  Kearns: funny you
• 50:18
  Jon: how,
• 50:18
  Kearns: that because we're gonna, now it's time.
• 50:22
  Jon: oh wait, hold on.
• 50:23
  I have one more, one more really brief.
• 50:26
  One star for you.
• 50:27
  And I really want to do it just because they it.
• 50:29
  They were so hard to find.
• 50:31
  One star.
• 50:32
  One star rubber alligator goes beir in Chicago.
• 50:37
  Really, really piss.
• 50:39
  Poor
• 50:42
  Kearns: really,
• 50:43
  Jon: Beir.
• 50:44
  Kearns: at least you got the city right?
• 50:45
  Ryan: berserk, not berserker
• 50:48
  Jon: Beir Beir.
• 50:51
  Kearns: Be Berserk
• 50:53
  Ryan: Which, oh, sorry.
• 50:55
  Kearns: mark.
• 50:56
  The curse mark from berserk.
• 50:58
  Come on, man.
• 50:59
  Ryan: I'm getting it, but I'm also thinking of Clerks Berserker.
• 51:02
  You know,
• 51:04
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 51:05
  Jon: Would you like some making for
• 51:07
  Ryan: did you just say?
• 51:10
  This shit rocks, man.
• 51:12
  Kearns: All right.
• 51:12
  That's the end of the episode.
• 51:13
  You guys are done.
• 51:14
  Ryan: So,
• 51:15
  Kearns: fives.
• 51:15
  We're doing top fives, baby.
• 51:16
  That was alligator.
• 51:18
  Ryan: fives.
• 51:18
  Um, John and I are doing both top five Robert Forrester movies.
• 51:25
  So we are actually
• 51:26
  Jon: Yep.
• 51:26
  Ryan: back and forth between our top fives to see if any of ours
• 51:30
  match or if they're different.
• 51:35
  Kearns: You're still on your time limit though.
• 51:37
  Ryan: Oh.
• 51:37
  Jon: It's the, it is the first, the first time we have the same top fives.
• 51:43
  Kearns: That's pretty cool, man.
• 51:44
  All right, so which one goes first?
• 51:46
  Do I do a coin flip?
• 51:48
  Ryan: Oh,
• 51:48
  Jon: Ryan can go first.
• 51:49
  Ryan: gonna start off pretty easy.
• 51:51
  Kearns: Alright,
• 51:52
  Ryan: back to Aino Mania episode.
• 51:55
  Robert Forster makes a great appearance in this and saves the movie, in my opinion.
• 51:59
  And that's Uncle Sam.
• 52:01
  Enough said on that.
• 52:02
  Robert
• 52:03
  Kearns: agreed.
• 52:04
  Ryan: movie I popped when I saw him.
• 52:06
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 52:09
  Ryan: I did.
• 52:10
  Kearns: We did.
• 52:10
  You
• 52:12
  Ryan: before Alligator two.
• 52:13
  Jon: Popped.
• 52:14
  What,
• 52:15
  Ryan: Well, we were in class, so,
• 52:17
  Jon: what did you pop?
• 52:19
  Kearns: s
• 52:20
  Ryan: uh, the,
• 52:24
  Jon: Um, all right, so my number five is a movie called The Banker.
• 52:32
  And so Robert Forrester plays a police officer investigating the serial
• 52:37
  murders of high price prostitutes before his ex-wife becomes a victim.
• 52:44
  And this has, uh, Richard Roundtree.
• 52:47
  Who's shaft and you get, you get seventies, late sixties, seventies,
• 52:52
  pop star leaf Garrett, also.
• 52:56
  Kearns: what a cool poster for the banker.
• 52:59
  Ryan: I'm gonna definitely check
• 53:00
  Jon: Yeah.
• 53:00
  It's a pretty cool movie.
• 53:03
  Ryan: The, I'm presuming seventies, 1989.
• 53:07
  Jon: Uh, yeah.
• 53:09
  Ryan: Okay.
• 53:09
  I feel like seventies and eighties.
• 53:12
  If you want those good like thriller cop films, you're gonna find it in that era.
• 53:18
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 53:18
  Kearns: is him just holding a crossbow that's pointed at us.
• 53:25
  I'm pretty into that.
• 53:26
  All right.
• 53:27
  What, what's your next one, Ryan?
• 53:28
  Ryan: going all over the planet on this one.
• 53:30
  And my number four stars, Chuck Norris, leave Marvin and Robert
• 53:37
  Forrester as the villain.
• 53:38
  Abdul Rafa.
• 53:40
  that's Delta Force?
• 53:44
  Kearns: This is one of the best freaking movies you could ever
• 53:47
  hope to have had on coming on at eight o'clock when you were a kid,
• 53:52
  Jon: Yep.
• 53:52
  Kearns: they ran it the whole week.
• 53:53
  There's like a million.
• 53:54
  We had the eight o'clock movie for Delta Force.
• 53:57
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 53:58
  Ryan: in the afternoon on Sunday.
• 54:00
  Kearns: Oh yeah, they did the Saturdays and stuff.
• 54:02
  Yeah, they did those too because they would run them all back to back back.
• 54:06
  Jon: Yeah.
• 54:07
  Ryan: oh,
• 54:07
  Kearns: like when he was like the way he was in the, the camp and the Chuck Norris
• 54:11
  and they put like the, battery chargers on his like nipples and they're like, if
• 54:15
  you fall, you son get shot in the face.
• 54:17
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 54:18
  Kearns: stupid shit.
• 54:19
  It was so eighties.
• 54:20
  I loved it.
• 54:21
  Ryan: good.
• 54:22
  Jon: Yep.
• 54:23
  That and Invasion, USA were like always on.
• 54:27
  Ryan: And, uh,
• 54:29
  Kearns: would have special weeks for Charlie Bronson and things like that too.
• 54:32
  And of course fan Dan,
• 54:34
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 54:35
  Ryan: weirdest, uh, connection I
• 54:36
  Jon: Yep.
• 54:37
  Ryan: was Delta Force.
• 54:38
  And then following it was, I just had the title, Swayze.
• 54:43
  Charlie Sheen.
• 54:44
  Red Dawn.
• 54:46
  Red Dawn followed it one day and I was like, what the hell are we doing?
• 54:50
  Jon: Love Red,
• 54:50
  Ryan: was like, you go from Delta Force to Red
• 54:53
  Jon: love that movie.
• 54:54
  Ryan: Like,
• 54:55
  Jon: I mean, it kind of fits, it fits better with Invasion
• 54:58
  USA, but it kind of fits
• 55:00
  Ryan: just like, you go from Chuck Norris to like Patrick
• 55:02
  Swayze and a young Charlie Sheen.
• 55:05
  like, all right, we're doing something.
• 55:08
  What?
• 55:08
  But what's your number four?
• 55:09
  I wanna see if we're.
• 55:11
  Jon: my, my number four.
• 55:13
  It, it's the only one I feel like, well, there's two I feel like
• 55:17
  are gonna, you might have number four for me is Maniac Cop three.
• 55:22
  Ryan: That
• 55:22
  Kearns: A nice.
• 55:23
  Ryan: put it on.
• 55:24
  Jon: Yep.
• 55:25
  Ryan: good one.
• 55:26
  Jon: As Dr. Powell in the Return of Killer Cop Matt Cordell, who has
• 55:31
  been resurrected by a voodoo priest.
• 55:34
  Ryan: Yep.
• 55:35
  Jon: It's still William Lustig directing and Larry Cohen writing.
• 55:39
  Ryan: They, only three of 'em, I think, right?
• 55:43
  Yeah.
• 55:44
  The
• 55:44
  Jon: Yes.
• 55:45
  Ryan: Dev, I, the third one does two.
• 55:49
  Jon: Yep.
• 55:49
  Yep.
• 55:50
  This one has both of those eighties Roberts, it's got
• 55:53
  Robert D and Robert Zadar.
• 55:55
  Ryan: I, I always that, I always call him divine.
• 55:58
  It's like divine.
• 56:01
  Jon: It's a, honestly, honestly, it's a cooler way of saying his name.
• 56:05
  Speaking of Divine, and I, I'm sorry, KES, but I gotta do this.
• 56:08
  I watched, um, this movie called Trouble Out of Mind.
• 56:12
  I believe it's, I, gosh, divine is in it, but not in drag.
• 56:17
  And it's, I think it's the only time I've ever seen Divine, not in drag.
• 56:22
  Ryan: since I've seen who Divine is.
• 56:25
  I've never seen them out of drag either, so that's like a rarity right there.
• 56:33
  Jon: I will send you guys a picture.
• 56:34
  It's weird.
• 56:36
  Ryan: because like,
• 56:38
  Jon: It like, you know who it is, but it's weird.
• 56:41
  Ryan: I'm just like thinking about it, but like, it makes me feel like this
• 56:46
  other person in my number three like,
• 56:51
  Kearns: Nice segue.
• 56:51
  Ryan: you know, it,
• 56:52
  Jon: Yeah.
• 56:53
  Ryan: you know,
• 56:53
  Jon: I.
• 56:53
  Ryan: mean, I'm not the wrong person, but this person was the wrong person.
• 56:57
  And Robert Forster, thank you, by the way.
• 56:59
  I don't know.
• 57:00
  Um.
• 57:01
  plays a, secondary character named Murphy, but he's very important in this
• 57:06
  war between Morgan Freeman the boss and Sir Ben Kingsley as the Rabbi Josh ANet
• 57:13
  in the middle as Slevin, it's Lucky number, Slevin and Robert Forrester.
• 57:18
  He does play a part in it, an important part, um, along with Bruce Willis, it's
• 57:24
  just he, Josh Harnett Levin is caught in the wrong place, the wrong time in between
• 57:29
  a, a battle between the rabbi and the boss and who the twists and turns in that.
• 57:35
  be honest, I bought that on a whim.
• 57:37
  I think it was like at FYE at, it was on sale for 10 bucks.
• 57:42
  I picked it up, gave it a shot.
• 57:44
  Jon: Probably sold it to you.
• 57:45
  Ryan: did.
• 57:46
  Jon: My number three
• 57:47
  Kearns: I think he's just doing that.
• 57:48
  Screw with me.
• 57:49
  Jon: vigilante.
• 57:49
  As Eddie Marion, whose wife and son are brutally attacked by a gang leader
• 57:54
  when the man is acquitted after bribes, Eddie goes after the corrupt judge and
• 58:00
  winds up with a short prison stint and emerges to join a gang of vigilantes
• 58:06
  with Fred the Hammer, Williamson and William Lustig directing again.
• 58:10
  Ryan: All right.
• 58:13
  Kearns: Cool.
• 58:15
  Read the hammer.
• 58:16
  Ryan: that name.
• 58:18
  It's just the
• 58:18
  Kearns: Cool.
• 58:19
  So that doesn't match your number three, but what is your number two, Ryan?
• 58:24
  Ryan: Do you ever feel like you have a split personality?
• 58:26
  Maybe multiple.
• 58:27
  Maybe multiple
• 58:28
  Kearns: All the time
• 58:28
  Ryan: disorder?
• 58:30
  Robert
• 58:31
  Kearns: probably that.
• 58:32
  Ryan: Colonel Partington has to deal with Jim Carrey as either Charlie Bailey or
• 58:35
  Hank Evans and me, myself, and Irene.
• 58:38
  Kearns: I forgot he was in this best scene in that movie is when
• 58:42
  he pisses and then it hits the wall and he goes, Irene, am I pissing?
• 58:47
  Like I was up all night having sex.
• 58:49
  Ryan: I, uh, the best scene I think I've always loved it, is when he finally goes
• 58:55
  off and he goes through the marketplace.
• 58:59
  He, he
• 59:01
  Kearns: I play the music.
• 59:02
  Ryan: drown, but he's like, he's putting the girl in the, the frigging fountain.
• 59:06
  And she's like, fuck you, Charlie.
• 59:08
  He's like, my name's not Charlie.
• 59:10
  My name's Hank.
• 59:10
  And he just keeps drowning.
• 59:11
  And she's like, my father's going to hear about this.
• 59:14
  And then he crashes through the harbor.
• 59:18
  Just,
• 59:18
  Kearns: stuff.
• 59:20
  I wonder though, this one might actually have, we might actually have
• 59:23
  a, a sync up here, John, you have me, myself, and Irene for number two.
• 59:28
  Ryan: Oh,
• 59:28
  Jon: I don't, I don't have me, myself, and Irene at all.
• 59:31
  Kearns: Wow.
• 59:33
  Jon: I, but I think my number two almost has to be Ryan's number one at this point.
• 59:38
  My number two, Quentin Tarantino, Jackie Brown
• 59:44
  Ryan: Yep.
• 59:45
  Yes.
• 59:46
  Kearns: Brown.
• 59:47
  Jon: as Max Max Cherry, who's character's very inspired by
• 59:52
  David Madison, an alligator
• 59:55
  Ryan: John popped that information for me and I
• 59:57
  Jon: I'll,
• 59:57
  Ryan: like, yes, sorry.
• 1:00:01
  Jon: this say Alligator is a Tarantino movie too.
• 1:00:04
  He loves that.
• 1:00:05
  Ryan: Oh God,
• 1:00:07
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 1:00:07
  Good for him.
• 1:00:08
  Ryan: all that like old stuff and it shows in his movies and it's
• 1:00:13
  showed since Reservoir Dogs like that graininess the The thrill,
• 1:00:19
  Kearns: his range?
• 1:00:20
  Yeah, like all the stuff he puts in the movies, you know, you see the
• 1:00:24
  Hateful Eight and things like that.
• 1:00:26
  You really get an idea of how wide his net is for what he likes to watch.
• 1:00:31
  Jon: Yep.
• 1:00:31
  Kearns: inspired by quite a bit.
• 1:00:32
  Ryan: in True Romance and.
• 1:00:35
  He, wrote True Romance.
• 1:00:36
  He wrote natural born killers, but natural born killers.
• 1:00:40
  Stone changed it.
• 1:00:41
  He changed it to his direction.
• 1:00:43
  Jon: Oh yeah.
• 1:00:44
  Ryan: True romance, you wanna see range.
• 1:00:46
  Um, who, it wasn't Ridley Scott, his brother, um,
• 1:00:52
  Tony
• 1:00:53
  Jon: Tony.
• 1:00:54
  Ryan: directed it.
• 1:00:55
  Jon: Tony Scott.
• 1:00:56
  Ryan: the only thing that he changed was the ending.
• 1:01:00
  spoiler alert real quick, if you don't mind.
• 1:01:02
  Um, in the original ending, Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette die.
• 1:01:08
  They, they get shot up and they're dead.
• 1:01:10
  And Tony Scott said, don't like the ending because you should
• 1:01:15
  see these kids live a happy life.
• 1:01:17
  And he did that.
• 1:01:18
  Kearns: That's, that's a good way to do it.
• 1:01:20
  Honestly.
• 1:01:20
  I, I like
• 1:01:21
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:01:21
  Uh, I think I agree.
• 1:01:23
  I, I, I, yeah.
• 1:01:24
  I like, I like the, them living ending much, much better.
• 1:01:28
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 1:01:28
  They already got Dennis.
• 1:01:29
  Ryan: he wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't a Sicilian, but he,
• 1:01:34
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 1:01:35
  Ryan: Tarantino fought him on that.
• 1:01:37
  And he said, this is, I don't want you to do this.
• 1:01:39
  And then he saw it and he was like, you know what, I'm gonna
• 1:01:42
  admit you were right Tony.
• 1:01:44
  You were right.
• 1:01:44
  This is a 10
• 1:01:45
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:01:47
  Ryan: And there is footage of that at the original ending.
• 1:01:51
  Kearns: And she said, you're so cool.
• 1:01:53
  Ryan: can I see Patricia's feet now?
• 1:01:55
  But anyway, um,
• 1:01:57
  Kearns: Oh,
• 1:01:57
  Ryan: he, he, know, I just, I love the man.
• 1:02:03
  Kearns: snaggle tooth.
• 1:02:03
  Snaggle
• 1:02:03
  Ryan: Jackie
• 1:02:04
  Kearns: toe.
• 1:02:04
  Ryan: it well with, uh, black, the black exploitation genre.
• 1:02:08
  And Michael, Caden, his character also appears, um, his character.
• 1:02:13
  He plays, A TFH and Ray Nicolette, he was in another movie as the same character.
• 1:02:19
  So this is like.
• 1:02:21
  One of those Tarantino projects where even though Tarantino wrote it, um, it's
• 1:02:27
  based on a book called Rum Punch and the character of Played by Michael Kean.
• 1:02:32
  Like I said, um, Ray Nicolette is featured in other stories and he was in
• 1:02:37
  another movie as well, the character, um, later on, and it's a little connection.
• 1:02:43
  It's pretty cool.
• 1:02:45
  Kearns: That is cool.
• 1:02:47
  do you have anything to say uh, true or not true romance?
• 1:02:50
  It's, uh,
• 1:02:51
  Jon: About Jackie Brown.
• 1:02:52
  Just say it would probably be my number one if it were a horror movie.
• 1:02:56
  I'll let, I'll let Ryan get the plot.
• 1:02:58
  Kearns: your number one?
• 1:02:59
  Ryan: the plot is pretty simple.
• 1:03:00
  We have Jackie Brown, basically.
• 1:03:05
  Kearns: No, we don't have to do the plot of Jackie Brown.
• 1:03:07
  Be quiet.
• 1:03:07
  Everybody knows you have to.
• 1:03:08
  Yeah.
• 1:03:09
  What's John's number one?
• 1:03:10
  We're done with Jackie Brown.
• 1:03:11
  Ryan: who smuggles money between the United States and Mexico,
• 1:03:14
  basically forced Samuel Jackson.
• 1:03:16
  Kearns: This isn't an episode on Jackie Brown.
• 1:03:19
  God damnit.
• 1:03:21
  Ryan: Books are
• 1:03:21
  Kearns: damnit.
• 1:03:23
  God damnit.
• 1:03:25
  Ryan: Just I,
• 1:03:26
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 1:03:26
  Ryan: I'll just,
• 1:03:26
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 1:03:27
  We're good on Jackie Brown.
• 1:03:28
  John, you're up.
• 1:03:29
  What's your number one?
• 1:03:30
  What's your number
• 1:03:31
  Jon: My,
• 1:03:31
  Kearns: John
• 1:03:32
  Jon: my number one
• 1:03:33
  Kearns: getting outta control.
• 1:03:34
  Jon: is the Wolf of Snow Hollow.
• 1:03:38
  Kearns: Oh, cool.
• 1:03:39
  He's in that movie called The Wolf of Snow Hollowing.
• 1:03:41
  Jon: He.
• 1:03:41
  Yep.
• 1:03:42
  He is Sheriff Hadley and it's one of his last roles.
• 1:03:47
  so small town is terrorized by what appears to be a werewolf.
• 1:03:51
  Deputy Sheriff John Marshall heads the investigation while caring
• 1:03:56
  for his ailing Father Hadley.
• 1:03:58
  And I can't believe I've never talked about this movie on here before.
• 1:04:03
  This is so good.
• 1:04:06
  Ryan: Is he a werewolf?
• 1:04:09
  No, I'm,
• 1:04:10
  Jon: No.
• 1:04:11
  Ryan: I might be confusing something.
• 1:04:12
  Something else.
• 1:04:14
  Jon: Nope.
• 1:04:14
  It's like, part crime drama, like with the investigation in it and part horror movie.
• 1:04:20
  It's so good.
• 1:04:23
  I gotta put it on our calendar.
• 1:04:25
  I think you'll, you guys will love it.
• 1:04:26
  It's just, it's so well done.
• 1:04:29
  It's such a surprise.
• 1:04:30
  Kearns: Sounds good.
• 1:04:32
  All right guys.
• 1:04:32
  That was Xenomania episode Alligator
• 1:04:37
  Ryan: Have a good one, guys.