Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / Boundaries That Protect Your Energy (30 ideas) (S4) S53:E4

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Boundaries That Protect Your Energy (30 ideas) (S4) S53:E4 · Inspirations for Your Life

0:23
Well, hey guys, it is John C.
0:26
Morley here, serial entrepreneur.
0:28
It is great to be with you on
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the Inspirations for Your Life show.
0:33
Today, in case you didn't know, is, yes,
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0:38
And it's December 30th, and it's the day
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0:42
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All right, guys, without any further ado, let's
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kick this off.
1:57
All right, guys, so welcome, everyone, to another
2:01
of the ever-popular, yes, empowering episodes of
2:05
The Inspirations for Your Life.
2:08
Yes, the show where I dive deep into
2:12
how small, consistent actions can transform your mindset,
2:16
performance, and overall happiness.
2:19
Now, I'm your host, John C.
2:21
Morley, your trusted guide to unlocking the greatness
2:25
within you.
2:26
As a serial entrepreneur, yes, an engineer, marketing
2:30
specialist, video producer, and a passionate lifelong learner,
2:35
I've discovered one truth that never changes.
2:38
Protecting your energy, and that's key to protecting
2:41
your success.
2:43
So, let's learn how to do that right
2:44
now.
2:45
All right, so today's episode is all about
2:47
boundaries that protect your energy.
2:51
And this is all about setting clear, positive
2:55
limits that allow your best self to thrive.
2:59
You'll walk away with 30 practical ways to
3:02
preserve your focus, peace, and purpose every single
3:06
day.
3:06
So, grab that coffee, grab that snack, those
3:10
healthy nuts or fruits or even chocolate morsels.
3:16
Get comfortable as we jump right in.
3:19
All right, everyone.
3:19
So, number one is pick a no-work
3:22
message.
3:24
Cut off time today, tonight, tomorrow.
3:28
Decide right now when your professional day ends
3:31
and make that non-negotiable.
3:34
After that time, there's no checking texts.
3:37
There's no peeking at emails.
3:39
This is one simple rule, and it signals
3:42
to your brain that it's time to recharge.
3:45
Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup.
3:48
And I've said this so many times to
3:50
people.
3:51
If your cup is empty, you're going to
3:53
run out of energy.
3:54
And I think that's a problem that a
3:56
lot of people don't really understand, is that
4:01
you have to take care of yourself.
4:06
And, you know, know that it's important.
4:13
Okay?
4:14
Know that it's important.
4:19
And when you know that it's important, you'll
4:21
start to realize, you'll start to understand, like,
4:26
what it's about.
4:28
And it's about the fact that we have
4:30
to have a full cup for ourself.
4:32
That's not being jealous or selfish.
4:34
That's how we have to be.
4:35
And then once we have that full cup,
4:37
then we can go forward and we can
4:39
actually share that cup with other people.
4:41
Number two, say, I can't do that, but
4:45
here's what I can do instead.
4:48
Healthy boundaries don't shut people out.
4:51
They show how you value your time and
4:55
communicate clearly.
4:56
You see, it's leadership through clarity, not avoidance.
5:00
And I think that's the challenge that a
5:02
lot of people don't realize.
5:06
They don't realize what that actually means.
5:09
They don't realize that avoidance is not healthy.
5:14
They don't realize that, you know, you can't
5:19
play one way today and another way tomorrow.
5:21
That's really, really bad.
5:23
So, number three, guys, is turn off one
5:26
nonessential notification.
5:29
Even a tiny ping will chip away at
5:32
your deep focus.
5:33
Each alert costs attention, and attention is energy.
5:38
Disable what distracts you and reclaim your calmness.
5:42
Now, ladies and gentlemen, on my iPhone, I
5:44
have something pretty cool.
5:45
I'm sure you have it on yours.
5:48
We have something called focus sessions.
5:51
But you have something called a focus, really
5:54
a focus mode.
5:54
A focus session is a little bit different.
5:55
It's called focus.
5:57
And so you can define what's in your
5:59
focus.
5:59
So basically, what will be silenced, what will
6:02
be allowed.
6:03
And I set my focuses up pretty coolly
6:06
because what I have set up is I
6:08
have one set up here for school.
6:10
And what it says is every time that
6:13
I get to this property, this address, it
6:16
automatically says nobody's allowed to message me.
6:20
And no apps are allowed to communicate and
6:22
even have a preset here to change my
6:27
default screen background to a different picture of
6:32
me.
6:33
And I have it set to turn automatically
6:35
and turn off once I leave that particular
6:38
zone.
6:40
So that's one cool thing you can do
6:42
if you have an iPhone.
6:43
I'm not sure if the Android has that
6:44
feature, but I know the iPhone does, and
6:46
it's definitely a great feature.
6:47
And they actually fixed it in one of
6:49
the latest releases this past year that it
6:54
actually works.
6:55
So it can actually detect the GPS coordinates
6:58
and actually turn on before it didn't do
7:00
that.
7:01
Number four, guys, log out of one distracting
7:04
app for the evening.
7:06
I know that sounds hard, but you can
7:09
do it.
7:10
That app will still be there tomorrow, right?
7:14
I think that's a very important thing to
7:20
understand.
7:22
And I know that it's important to realize
7:28
that because the app is still going to
7:30
be there tomorrow.
7:31
For now, use that time to do something
7:34
rejuvenating for your body.
7:36
Take a walk, meditate, or plan tomorrow intentionally.
7:41
When we act intentionally in our life, change
7:46
it.
7:46
And I think that's something that a lot
7:48
of people don't realize.
7:51
And that's something that a lot of people,
7:54
I feel, don't understand.
7:56
But I want you to understand this because
7:58
this can affect the success of your life.
8:03
Remember, you've got to have that full cup.
8:05
If you don't have a full cup, well,
8:08
then you're going to be sorry because you're
8:10
constantly going to be dipping into it.
8:13
And you're not going to have any reserves.
8:15
Number five, say no to one thing so
8:17
you can rest.
8:18
It's not selfish to say no.
8:20
It's strategic.
8:21
Every no creates room for a yes to
8:24
yourself, your health, and your peace of mind.
8:27
And of course, new possibilities, new opportunities.
8:30
Number six, give yourself permission not to reply
8:35
instantly.
8:37
The world won't end if you pause before
8:39
responding.
8:41
Presence is more important than speed.
8:44
And thoughtful conversations start with inner stillness.
8:49
Number seven, guys, make no phones at the
8:54
table a house rule.
8:55
Tonight, starting tomorrow, meals should nourish more than
9:00
the body.
9:02
They should recharge the soul.
9:04
When we disconnect from screens, we, well, reconnect
9:08
with a true purpose to ourself and other
9:11
people that matter in our life.
9:12
And I think this is something that a
9:14
lot of people don't really get in life
9:16
is that we have this potential to make
9:18
huge differences.
9:20
But we first have to remember to put
9:22
the technology down.
9:25
And I don't just mean down.
9:27
I mean like vibe.
9:29
And I also mean if you're with somebody,
9:30
put the phone down so the screen is
9:32
actually to the table.
9:33
So this way, you're not tempted to look
9:37
at it.
9:38
Number eight, block 20 minutes for something that
9:41
recharges you.
9:43
Whether it's listening to music, it's stretching, left,
9:47
right, all those great things.
9:49
Energy management is about renewal.
9:52
It's not just clicking a reset button like
9:54
you do on a PC.
9:56
Number nine, clearly state what you're okay and
9:59
not okay.
10:00
See, boundaries need to be communicated, not assumed.
10:04
People respect what you enforce, not what you
10:08
quietly endure.
10:10
Number 10, guys, unfollow one account that drains
10:14
your mood.
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Digital clutter is real.
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Protect your mental space by curating who and
10:21
what gets access to your attention.
10:24
Number 11, say, I'm not available for that
10:27
today.
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This phrase gives you agency over your schedule.
10:32
And it reminds others that your time is
10:35
valuable.
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So I think when other people understand that
10:38
your time is valuable, they're going to treat
10:41
you and approach you in, well, a different
10:45
manner.
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Number 12, guys, yes, number 12.
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Leave your phone in another room for 15
10:54
minutes.
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Could you do that?
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Could you do it for five minutes?
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Do it for five as you do it
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for 10.
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But I know that's like a big sentence
11:01
for people.
11:02
Could you just do it for like five
11:04
minutes?
11:05
Practice being fully in the present moment.
11:09
You'll be surprised how your stress levels drop
11:12
when you physically separate from your devices.
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I know that sounds like something that's crazy,
11:19
but try it.
11:19
It actually means something.
11:21
It's actually the truth.
11:22
And I think that's an important thing that
11:24
people just don't get, all right?
11:26
That's a very, very important thing.
11:29
And set a real stop, okay?
11:33
Time for just one more episode.
11:37
Entertainment should serve your joy, not sabotage your
11:41
rest.
11:43
Discipline equals energy.
11:44
And I think that's another important one for
11:46
all of us to understand.
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Sometimes, you know, we get caught into this
11:49
trap.
11:50
And these traps mean something.
11:55
I think that's important.
11:57
Does that mean something to you?
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Hopefully, it does.
12:04
It means something.
12:08
It means something that you have potential in
12:11
your life.
12:13
It means that you can actually make changes
12:15
in your life, all right?
12:19
I think that's a very important one.
12:24
But a lot of people don't necessarily, like,
12:29
understand, like, what that means.
12:32
But I'm here to tell you that it
12:34
means something to you, and it should mean
12:37
something to you.
12:40
And hopefully, that'll get you to move forward.
12:44
Number 14, ask, will this yes make me
12:48
resentful later?
12:49
If it will, say no with grace.
12:52
Long-term peace always outweighs temporary approval.
12:58
Number 15, protect one hour of sleep with
13:03
a firm bedtime.
13:05
Quality rest isn't lazy.
13:08
It's leadership for your body and your mind.
13:12
Sleep well, and you'll think better, create better,
13:15
and even live better.
13:17
Number 16, say, I need some quiet.
13:20
I'll be back in 10 minutes, or maybe
13:23
you need 5 minutes, maybe 15 minutes, whatever
13:25
it is.
13:26
You don't owe constant access to anyone, okay?
13:30
I don't care whether you're in business.
13:32
I don't care whether it's a friend, a
13:35
relationship.
13:36
You're not a 24-7 access system, okay?
13:40
You need your time for yourself.
13:43
Quiet time resets emotional balance and renews your
13:47
focus, yes.
13:48
So why not do those things?
13:52
And hopefully, that can make a difference in
13:57
your life.
13:58
Number 17, turn down one invite that doesn't
14:03
fit your priorities.
14:04
If it doesn't align with your purpose, it's
14:08
okay to just pass it on.
14:11
Guarding your schedule protects your goals.
14:13
A quick story about this.
14:15
So around the COVID time is when I
14:17
decided that I needed to fill my calendar,
14:20
right?
14:20
Because, you know, we weren't getting out so
14:21
much.
14:22
And I started then automating my calendar, which
14:25
is great doing that now.
14:27
But one thing I learned is that people
14:29
were jumping on my time, whether it was
14:31
15 minutes, 30 minutes, 60 minutes.
14:33
And my day was just like just going
14:35
down.
14:35
I said, I can't have that anymore.
14:37
I quickly learned that I need to just
14:39
schedule, let people schedule a 15- or
14:41
30-minute block.
14:42
But then I also realized that if somebody
14:44
wants longer than that, I have to approve
14:47
that.
14:47
Or one of my admins has to approve
14:49
that.
14:50
And I ask them to pick two or
14:51
three slots, and I'll get back and confirm.
14:53
Because I don't want somebody just taking my
14:55
time up that I don't really want to
14:57
spend that much time with, right?
14:59
Number 18, guys, define what a good enough
15:02
day looks like.
15:04
I know that sounds like something that is
15:07
pretty important for everyone, okay?
15:10
Perfection burns energy.
15:15
Clarity on what's enough helps you reset and
15:18
rest without the guilt that's attributed to it.
15:22
Number 19, set a spending limit before opening
15:26
shopping apps.
15:28
Self-control isn't restriction.
15:32
It's empowerment.
15:34
Intentional choices keep emotional impulse at bay.
15:38
And not just emotional, I mean emotional could
15:40
be even like what you're going to eat,
15:42
right?
15:42
It could be a lot of different things.
15:44
So I think we have to embrace like
15:47
what that is really about to us and
15:49
what that means to us.
15:51
Does that make some sense?
15:53
Number 20, guys, tell everyone.
15:57
I mean everyone.
15:59
These 10 minutes are my recharge time.
16:01
And I hope that they will appreciate the
16:06
fact that you tell them that it's your
16:08
recharge time.
16:09
And by doing that, they're going to be
16:10
like, oh my gosh, like he's got recharge
16:13
time.
16:14
And I think that's a very, very important
16:20
thing to understand.
16:23
If we could understand like what that means,
16:25
it means that we need to have that
16:29
recharge time.
16:29
We all need that time.
16:31
So communicate your self-care boldly.
16:36
You don't have to be nasty, but be
16:37
bold with it.
16:38
When others see you honoring your energy, they'll
16:41
start respecting their own too.
16:44
So give that a try.
16:46
Number 21, use headphones to signal focus time.
16:50
Small cues like putting on headphones create invisible
16:54
boundaries that preserve your productivity.
16:59
And that's another one I think we need
17:01
to think about is the time is these
17:03
boundaries.
17:08
I think that's important to realize that it's
17:14
important to understand.
17:18
And if you understand that, then maybe you'll
17:22
be able to appreciate your life more.
17:25
You'll be able to be more intentional in
17:27
your life.
17:27
I think that's an important thing.
17:29
All right.
17:30
I hope that that makes some sense to
17:32
everybody.
17:33
All right.
17:33
So number 22, reserve one block this week
17:39
just for planning.
17:41
Planning is power.
17:43
It's how you go from reacting to directing
17:46
your destiny.
17:47
I say to people, if you fail to
17:51
plan, then guess what, guys?
17:53
You have planned to fail.
17:56
You have planned to fail if you fail
17:59
to plan.
18:00
And I don't mean that to be nasty.
18:02
I mean that in the very kindest way
18:05
that you have to take care of yourself.
18:07
You really, really do.
18:09
I know it might sound like something that
18:12
like I can just, you know, I just
18:13
need to say yes.
18:14
I need to appease people.
18:15
So what happens if you appease people too
18:17
long?
18:17
You know what happens?
18:20
It's going to bite you.
18:23
Because you're going to run out of energy
18:25
or lots of things.
18:29
And I think that's important to understand.
18:35
I mean very important.
18:37
Not just one thing important.
18:38
I mean like a lot of importance.
18:41
And importance comes from what people tolerate.
18:49
So you need to be very clear, ladies
18:51
and gentlemen, on what you allow, what you
18:55
endure to be going through your life.
18:57
I think that's a really important piece.
19:02
If we can't endure something, how do we
19:04
ever move forward?
19:06
So we have to understand our boundaries.
19:09
They are very, very important in our life.
19:12
And I don't say that you have to
19:13
be nasty with your boundaries.
19:15
I just say you've got to be firm
19:17
with your boundaries.
19:18
That's all I'm saying.
19:20
And if there are people on there that
19:22
cannot respect your boundaries, well, then those are
19:25
probably people that should not be in your
19:27
life.
19:27
That they can't, like, show you respect.
19:29
I mean I'm just being honest with you
19:31
guys, all right?
19:32
All right, number 23.
19:36
Practice saying no once without over-explaining.
19:40
Could you do that?
19:42
No, thank you.
19:43
Or no.
19:44
You don't need to give a dissertation of
19:47
why you said no.
19:52
Think about that.
19:53
You are wasting so much energy when you
19:57
have to explain what the heck a no
20:00
means.
20:02
And you don't owe anybody an explanation to
20:04
what the no is.
20:06
Does that make sense?
20:07
I mean I'm hoping it does.
20:08
Because if it makes sense, then you will
20:13
change who you are in your life.
20:16
Every single day.
20:19
But you've got to remember, you've got to
20:23
have the courage to say no.
20:27
You might say, well, John, if I say
20:29
no, I might lose their friendship.
20:32
Are you that shallow?
20:35
Like, realize that you can't be hanging on
20:40
every little thread.
20:41
That if you do one thing, you're going
20:42
to lose them.
20:43
That's not something you even want in your
20:44
life.
20:46
I know I wouldn't.
20:47
So, again, confidence.
20:50
A no doesn't need a speech.
20:53
Doesn't need a dissertation.
20:55
Doesn't need an explanation.
20:57
Respecting your time starts with trusting your decision.
21:02
Or decisions.
21:04
And I know that can sound very crazy.
21:08
But it absolutely is the truth.
21:11
So why not try exercising a no?
21:15
The no, when you say it, will give
21:18
you freedom to have more yeses in your
21:22
life.
21:23
I know from many years ago, I always
21:25
would like to please people.
21:27
I was a people pleaser.
21:28
I think up until even high school, even
21:30
some of college.
21:31
Then after I graduated, I said, well, it's
21:33
nice to please people.
21:34
But I can't, like, empty my cup so
21:38
there's not even a sip of water or
21:41
a sip of a beverage for me to
21:42
drink.
21:43
So I need to make sure my cup
21:45
always stays filled.
21:47
And then I have a little to share.
21:50
That's important.
21:53
Number 24.
21:54
Say I can help, but only until X,
21:58
till 3, till 4, till my mom calls,
22:03
till my dad calls, till my boyfriend calls,
22:05
my girlfriend calls, right?
22:07
Or until the wash is done.
22:10
Or whatever you want to say.
22:13
I think those are very, very important things.
22:17
And I'm hoping that they will get you
22:21
to realize it.
22:22
Define your limits early before you feel overwhelmed.
22:26
Clarity prevents burnout.
22:28
So don't be on the fence and afraid
22:32
to say no.
22:34
Because the no that you're going to say
22:37
will fuel you with the ability to give
22:41
yourself a yes.
22:42
I think that's a very powerful thing, guys.
22:45
A very, very powerful thing.
22:46
Number 25.
22:49
Let one task stay undone.
22:53
One task stay undone.
23:00
Okay?
23:03
Without self-hate.
23:04
Sometimes rest is the most productive thing.
23:08
So let that task stay undone.
23:11
You can still be productive.
23:13
And completion doesn't define worth.
23:17
Remember that.
23:19
Intention defines the worth.
23:20
So if you're on the fence of saying,
23:22
oh, John, you know, I didn't finish this
23:24
yet.
23:24
And if I don't, I'm going to feel
23:26
horrible.
23:26
That's you.
23:27
That's you setting that feeling.
23:30
I didn't tell you that you need to
23:31
feel bad because you didn't finish stacking the
23:33
cards or you didn't finish your thing.
23:35
No!
23:37
Cut yourself some slack.
23:40
All right?
23:41
We need to show love and self-compassion
23:44
to ourself.
23:45
I know.
23:46
I used to be hard on myself, too.
23:49
It's okay to be disciplined.
23:52
But like yourself.
23:53
Be your own best friend.
23:56
And you'll find that you get along a
23:59
lot better with yourself.
24:01
Number 26, guys.
24:03
Move one draining conversation from text to a
24:07
quick call.
24:08
Efficiency brings peace.
24:10
A brief direct call saves hours of miscommunication.
24:16
So why is it that you don't want
24:17
to get on that call with someone?
24:19
I don't know.
24:22
Pick up the phone.
24:24
Face it.
24:26
Number 27, name your non-negotiable.
24:30
Self-care for today.
24:32
Whether that's exercise.
24:33
Is it prayer?
24:34
Is it quiet reflection time?
24:36
What is it?
24:39
Choose something that nurtures your soul.
24:44
And treat it like any other appointment.
24:47
Make sure, guys, it is non-negotiable.
24:52
Too many people I talk to say, you
24:53
know what?
24:53
It's okay if I don't have my music
24:56
time.
24:56
It's okay if I don't do my exercises.
24:58
It doesn't really matter to me.
24:59
You know why?
25:00
Because I'm still able to do the things
25:02
that I want to be able to do.
25:04
I think those are the most important things
25:06
that anyone can ask.
25:08
Is that we have to treat ourselves, the
25:11
things we want to do.
25:12
It's non-negotiable.
25:14
Remember, it's all about keeping that cup full.
25:17
All right?
25:17
Number 28, guys.
25:19
Ask others to respect one boundary and respect
25:23
theirs.
25:24
Healthy boundaries build mutual trust.
25:28
Energy protection goes both ways.
25:31
So let's not get in this pickle where,
25:35
like, you know, we feel like we have
25:36
to be overpowered.
25:37
We don't.
25:52
Does that make sense, guys?
26:01
Think about that for a moment.
26:08
Think about that.
26:21
Think about what that means.
26:30
Think about how that can affect your life.
26:35
Think about the ways that your freedom matters
26:37
to you.
26:40
Number 29.
26:42
Know where you feel drained and choose one
26:45
change.
26:48
Awareness is the first step to transformation.
26:51
Protect yourself by addressing energy leaks before they
26:56
become, well, problems.
26:59
And you might say to me, John, you
27:01
know, problems don't really exist.
27:10
And they don't.
27:12
Problems are nothing more than our mind creating
27:18
a situation.
27:18
Because what we perceive and what happens becomes
27:23
a reality when there might not be anything
27:25
wrong.
27:27
And number 30, guys.
27:28
Tell yourself protecting your energy helps everyone around
27:32
you.
27:33
The stronger your boundaries, the more you have
27:36
to give, not less.
27:39
You shine brighter when your inner light isn't
27:42
dimmed by exhaustion.
27:45
Start incorporating these practices into your daily habits
27:48
and transformations will result not just in your
27:53
personal life, guys, but elevate your leadership, your
27:56
focus, and your creativity so much more.
27:58
Boundaries are not walls.
27:59
They're the fences that keep your purpose thriving
28:02
inside.
28:04
So let's make some today.
28:06
Hey, guys, check out BelieveMeAchieve.com and I'll
28:08
catch you real soon.
28:09
Be well, everyone.