Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / Self-Care and Single Moms (Q&A)

Transcript

Self-Care and Single Moms (Q&A) · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Two Teas in a Pod with Teddy Mellencamp and Tamara Judge.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Hi guys. Welcome to another episode of Two Teas in
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: a Pod with myself, Teddy Mellencamp and Tamara Judge. Hey, Teddy.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: We got some fan questions today. I always like the
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: fan questions and we chose some that were a little
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: bit different than just housewife questions.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: I know we decided to go a little different this time.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: We picked some questions that maybe aren't quite as salacious,
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: but more.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: But they're personal. And these are the ones that I don't,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: they're not the easiest for me to answer because I
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: hate talking about myself. I hate, I can talk about
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: you all day long, but I can't stand talking about myself.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: I know. I'm like, I was starting to look at
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: these and I'm like, Oh my gosh, what do I do? Um,
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: So the first question that we are asked is what's
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: the one house rule you enforce when people come over
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: that always that guests always find surprising?
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: I don't honestly, I'm pretty easygoing. I don't think I
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: have any over the top. Like, I don't ask you
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: to take your shoes off. And by the way, like,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: I get that. I respect that. I hate it as
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: a short girl. don't love it. Um, I just ask
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: people to, I don't even have to ask them. I
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: just assume they respect my space. And probably the biggest
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: thing is like, I have like cream colored linen couches,
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: like be smart. Don't take your red wine and swing
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: it around and do things like that.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. Mine is like, whenever I have people over,
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: you know, there's always those people that stay past their
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: welcome and, Oh, yes. So I just have made this
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: like this will be my common thing that I say,
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: like when people are starting to like linger on too long,
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: I'm like, you don't have to go home, but you
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: can't stay here. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: I don't like that either, especially because, you know, we
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: go to bed early.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah. It's like, bye bye. See you later. Like some
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: people just don't get the hint. Like they're just still
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: staying and hanging. And you're like, and everybody else is leaving.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: And now you're having like this serious conversation. You're like,
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: this is my bedtime. This is night, night. Yeah.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Time for you to go bye-bye.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: So that's the only thing I'm kind of, you know,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: a little bit about because when I prefer and I'm
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: not the world's best host. Like you're not going to
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: come over to my house and I'm going to have
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: like serve you.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Like I'm not going to have like the, it all
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: laid out perfectly.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Right. Like, see, I'm like that too. I'm like, whatever
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: you want, go get it. Like, yeah, there's a bar
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: right there. There's a refrigerator right there. If you want
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: something to drink, make your drink. Um, and it also
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: depends on like, you know, who's over and is this a,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: in a party or whatever.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Well, speaking of parties, there is one housewife kind of question.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: If you had to host a party for one housewife franchise,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: which one would you choose? What would the party theme be? Now,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: this is a difficult one, but because I love Giselle
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: so much, I definitely would say Potomac.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Those girls know how to have fun, maybe a glamorous...
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: old Hollywood dinner party, amazing food, cocktails, and lots of
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: tea will be spilt.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think they would be, I would think Potomac
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: would be really fun to do. And I also think
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Salt Lake City.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, there's so many. I think every, I'd
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: like to throw a party for every franchise.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: But I think also we know a lot of girls
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: from both of those shows.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Would you have a theme? Do you like theme parties?
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: Like I like that Kyle does the white party. Yeah.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: But I don't like to have to like dress up.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Like it's one thing if it's like 80s night or
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: something like that, something easy. But if it's like met
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: ball type words, I don't understand it.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I like pajama parties.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Wear your jammies. Get cozy. Put your hair in a ponytail. Yeah.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: Let's be cozy. No makeup.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Or Western. I like a good Western party.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Anytime I can wear a cowboy hat, jeans, t-shirt, I'm
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: very happy.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah. No, as long as it's something easy and that
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: I own, then I'm happy with it. If it's like
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: something that I have to, a lot of what people
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: are doing these days for parties is they're doing these
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: mood boards.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Like when people have weddings and they give you a
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: mood board, this is what you wear. I'm like, what?
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: You're telling me what I can wear now.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: I'm like, hold on.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Wait, mood board party. Like, you know, when we do
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: like our, our, um, reunions and things like that, like
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: here's a mood board. Yeah. Like that's what they're saying.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Like wear something like this.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. This is, this is the color scheme. This is
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: what we're doing.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: I think that I would pass on that.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: It's, it's really difficult to do because you're like, um,
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: now does it mean I have to buy something new?
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: What does this mean? I don't really understand the mood board.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: I don't understand the color scheme. Does that mean it's
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: a color? Does that mean it's a style of dress?
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: I like a uniform color at a party. I like
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: at the reunions, all white, all red, all whatever it is.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I just think that looks so good. Different shades, obviously,
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: different textures, but just like a solid, like the regular color.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: You're in green and you're in red and you're in orange.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't like that as much. I loved the
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: way they all looked on London.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Yes, they're on gold, right? Yeah, I think that's beautiful. Metallic, red, pink,
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: any color.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: You get to see everybody's like personal style, but it's
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: all still kind of meshing together.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's also so difficult to be like, okay,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I need a green dress.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden you're like, there's no
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: green dresses right now. I can't find one. None.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: Not a green dress out there. Nope. We already wore
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: them all. So the next one is the holidays are
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: coming up. When you're hosting, do you expect someone to
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: show up with something or is empty-handed okay?
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: I mean, empty-handed is totally okay if I'm hosting. I'm
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: hosting because I want people to come over, of course,
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: but I love when somebody brings something thoughtful.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm the worst.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I guess somebody is like, what would you like me
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: to bring? I'd be in my mind. I'm like, I
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: want you to bring the dessert. I want you to
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: bring this. But then I'm like, then I always do this. Oh,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: you're enough.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Just yourself.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Just yourself.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: You're enough.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I never want anybody to feel obligated to bring something,
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: but it's always a good idea to bring something to
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: the host.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: Well, because also it's not even bringing something to the host.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: It's bringing something that you know that you're going to
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: like yourself. So if you're attending a party and all
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: of a sudden you bring, like, your favorite dip and
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: chips or whatever it is, then you're like, oh, good,
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: I can snack on something I know I'm going to like. Yeah.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: I just think it's courteous. Yes, it's courteous. Okay, the
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: next one is, what's a tradition you started as a
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: parent that your own parents never did? I don't remember
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: that we had a lot of traditions during the holidays
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: or anything. I think being really intentional about creating memories
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: for the kids and the family, especially as my parents
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: are getting older. Eddie's grandmother's 101 years old, like to
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: get a lot of pictures.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And sorry to get a lot of pictures, but
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: like my kids right now are against pictures.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, I know they're at that age. And that's when
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: it's the hardest. I have so many Christmas pictures like this.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: Spencer's hands up. Sophia's hands up. Sophia's good about pictures now.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Ryan's fine with it, but Spencer's still like, I don't
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: want to be public. And I get that. Like he
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: doesn't want to, you know, and if he takes a picture,
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: he's like, this isn't going on Instagram, is it? I'm like, no, son,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: it's not. He's like, I know when you say no,
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: it could.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: And I go, no, that's not. That's what Cruz is
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: like too. And also Cruz only speaks to me in
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: like one word sentences. Yeah, that happens. Yeah.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: He'll snap out at when he's 16, maybe.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Great.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: But I, at Christmas time, I do have, you know,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: this tradition where I'd like to make gingerbread houses with
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: the kids.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: I'm so bad at those. They like crumble. They fall.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: Mine fall. They're, they're never pretty, but it's always fun
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: to do. The kids would do that or decorate cookies. Um,
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: last year we were all matching pajamas and it's just all,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: it's just fun. And the pictures look great and it's
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: just pictures in the memories.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we, we do matching jammies, but I mean, it's
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: definitely different for me now that I'm no longer, uh,
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: you know, married and in that situation, like I, it's,
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: I mean, I guess I'm married, whatever. I'm estranged. I hate,
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: I hate even having to say that. Separated.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: Just say separated.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: Separated. I, because life has shifted so much and you're
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: trying to both give the best that you can, but
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: also like.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: For the holidays are the hardest when you are separated.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. The holidays are hard.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: You either have to split it or you get the
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: kids on New Year's Eve and I get them New
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Year's Day or you get them Christmas Day. I get
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: them Christmas Eve. And it's just it's just hard. It's not,
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: you know, being divorced with kids is hard. Now, did
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: your parents have any kind of traditions when you were
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: growing up?
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: I can remember. like, at my mom's for Christmas, we
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: would always do this thing where we would do popcorn
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: and cranberries and, like, sew them on.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, like a garland?
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like a garland.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: And then would you put it around the Christmas tree?
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we would put it around the Christmas tree.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: We used to do, like... when I was really young,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: you know, like the construction paper where you make the
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: little loop, the red one and the green one, and
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: you hook them all together like a chain and then
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: you wrap it around the Christmas tree.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, those kind of things. No,
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: but I mean, other than that, all I remember is
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: that my sister every single year would ask for like
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: an animal. And then when she didn't get it on
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Christmas Day, she would be pissed.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Did you ever go like, I remember... You're going to
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: take me down memory lane here. Going to, I think
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: it was maybe Pasadena and watching, looking at all the
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: Christmas lights.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah. Yeah. And they have that big place in
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Orange County too, where you go and you see all
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: the beautiful, where's that? You drive through and there's all
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: those lights.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah. That's like at the Orange County fairgrounds where
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: they do that every year. I think they're, yeah, I
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: just read something. They're doing it again.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So, but I'm, to be honest, I'm a little
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: bit worried about Christmas this year I don't know about
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: Thanksgiving I think my dad wants me to probably come
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: to see him but I also I haven't been feeling
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: my best so I don't I really don't know for
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: me it's like maybe everybody should come out to you
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: that's definitely not going to happen well that's.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Not good everybody come to me I have this big
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: giant house just come here and we can celebrate here.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah I mean, that'd be nice, but I don't think
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: it's happening.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: The next question is, what does your self-care look like
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: for you? Like skincare, journaling, fitness, sex? Do you have like,
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: are you big on self-care?
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: I used to be huge on self-care. Like it was
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: everything to me before I got sick. Like I was,
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: you know, like I had a certain plan. I made
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: sure that I would run a certain amount of miles
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: a day. I did this, I did that. And so
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: now learning how to be not be able to do
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: those things and figure out the self-care. I would, I'd
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: have to say my biggest self-care right now is sleep.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Like if I can get a good night's sleep, like,
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: and also I've never in my life been able to
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: sleep till like eight o'clock in the morning. And now
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: I can, cause I'm like exhausted all the time. But
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: it's like, for me, if I have a good night's sleep,
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: then the day is so much better.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: I am not good on self-care. Never have been. Like
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I got a massage. on Monday and I have to
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: force myself to do things like that.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: Did you hate it? I loved it.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: I mean, my neck and shoulders and back are so bad.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Like I'm just in knots and I'm always like that.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: And every time I get a massage, you're like, good God, like, wow.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: I just, to take the time to do that in
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: my mind, I'm like, why am I doing this? I
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: don't need this. I'm just going to sit there and
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: I'm going to think about all the things I have
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: to do.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: But I just think sometimes self-care is like working out,
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: taking care of your body, maybe getting those hair extensions
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: and girls that you just make you feel so good
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: about yourself.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Getting a spray tan.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: Spray tan, things like that. Getting in bed early. Time alone.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: Intimacy.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: That's self-care.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, I think the more that you can
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: feel connected with people. Yeah. the better that you're going
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: to feel. But yeah, I mean, I used to journal
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: all the time.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: I've never been a journaler ever.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: But I definitely don't do it now. But I think
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: life just changes, you know, like your version of self-care
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: is going to change where you are in your life.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. Depends on where you're at and what's going on.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: Like even the other day, all of our... we had
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: a power outage and like we lost all electricity. And
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: the fact that Cruz like came in and was like,
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: Hey mom, can I stay in your room tonight? And
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: he like set up a little bed at the end
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: of my bed, you know, like all of that. Like
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: to me, that was like such a self-care moment. Like
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: that was like, okay, that made me feel so good
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: that he wanted to do that. He actually had a
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: little bit of fear and he, He felt comfortable enough
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: to come and say that and do that.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: I think self-care is anything that makes you feel good.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And of course, sex. Of course. Yeah. Yep. Yep.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: What's the most extra self-care purchase you've made that you
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: don't regret? Any new trends you cannot get on board with?
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: That I don't regret.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: The best thing I've ever done cosmetically is my neck lift.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course. I don't, you know, when it comes
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: back surgery, I'm not like, oh, I wish I would
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: have never done that. No, that was great. I would
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: say like just pushing myself to do things like massage
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: is something that I don't regret. I don't want, I like,
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do those. And then I get
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: it done. I'm like, oh, that was amazing. As far
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: as trends go, I'm always going to be a little
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: skeptical about anything that promises you complete transformation, especially overnight.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: The vibration plate is something I bought. Oh, I want
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: one of those. I used it once. So I used
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: it once and it might work, but I forget to
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: use it. It's in the corner of my room. And
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I need to actually put it in the
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: middle of my room so I can eyeball it and
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: be like, okay, 10 minutes. I'm going to get on
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: there every single day.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: You know what? I actually need one of those, I think.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Well, I will link it in my bio and you
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: can order it off of Amazon.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: Perfect. So then you can get a cut of my purchase.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: Now, Teddy, how do you treat first dates now versus
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: when you were dating before Edwin?
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: How do I treat first dates? Well, one, I haven't
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: been on a first date in a while because PJ
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: has been around for a minute now. But I would say...
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: You know, the hardest thing about I only went on
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: one date where like I immediately knew, like, how am
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: I going to get through this? And why did I
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: say that I would do a dinner? Yeah.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Well, don't you think like before kids, you're footloose and
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: fancy free.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: You're up for anything.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: You're out the middle of the night. You're doing all
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: kinds of stuff. But now it's like, it's different now.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: You have kids, you have more responsibility. You have a
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: bedtime at eight o'clock.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Like making the effort to get ready and do this.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: And then am I going to wear a wig or,
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: you know, all of it. It's just, it's, I don't know.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: Well, you're dealing with a lot right now. So I
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: think this is a very hard question for you.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: You know, before Edwin, I was also in a completely
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: different place in my life. You know, like rode horses
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: for a living, was super active, all this stuff. And
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: then everything shifted. And now it's more just about like
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: one foot in front of the other and surrounding myself
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: with people that I enjoy.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Do you miss... the companionship of being married and waking
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: up to somebody, having that. I know with what you've
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: been dealing with the past year, of course, it would
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: have been so much easier to have Edwin there with
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: you to help you through all these stages. But do
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: you feel like you miss being married?
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: It's not necessarily that I miss being married. I miss
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: the weekends, like family time. where we could all do
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: things together.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: Like, I don't think I ever really thought in my
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: head that I would be a single mom. I don't
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: think anybody thinks that. And I think that's the part that's, like,
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: it's very difficult for me to, you know, do these
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: big plans not knowing how I feel. Seeing how this goes,
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: you know, I would say that's the hardest part. I
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: do think that Edwin and I are better as friends.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: Do I think the timing absolutely sucks?
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Yes. Couldn't have been worse.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: Couldn't have been worse timing. All of it. You know,
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: all that shit show was just so bad and all
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: at once. But who knows? I mean, I think now
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: just being able to have a connection with somebody and
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: that I look forward to talking to other than, you know,
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: family and friends is like, it's nice.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I understand that.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Um, Tamara, we saw date night recently on OC.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: Have you and Eddie had more like that since?
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Um, no, not like that. I will never be barking
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: like a dog again. Um, that's a one and done situation. And, um,
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: We have our getaway here at Big Bear and that's
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: where we're at right now. And I've learned that life
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: gets so busy that you have to intentionally make time
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: for each other. And especially after being together for so long,
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: like 16 years together, it's not like, I don't know,
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: things just come easy. You start to take people for
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: granted and you're like, ah, you know, I'll.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: See you tomorrow.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: I'll catch you later or whatever. And you get busy
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: in your life. And, you know, it's easy. We talked
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: about on the show, easy to become almost like roommate
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: sometimes because I'm busy.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: He's busy.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: We're going here and there, but you have to, you know,
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Heather Dubrow was onto something when she said, you know,
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: sometimes you have to schedule stuff.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: Well, do you remember how much heat I got on
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: Beverly Hills when I said that we scheduled sex?
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Well, I, some people like, I think that for us,
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: our relationship for 15 years was just so easy. So easy.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: It was just, and then after 15, like things changed,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: there's no more kids in the house and I'm busier
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: than ever. And, and so it's like, now things have
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: to change and you have to be, you know, make
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: time for each other. It doesn't have to be some
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: huge elaborate night or anything like that. Sometimes just getting
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: out of the house together is enough. When we're here
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: at Big Bear, because it is smaller quarters, we are
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: next to each other all the time and doing things
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: and going bike riding and going into the village and
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: going to see a movie. We're at our house.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: It's so big.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: And his office in the casita, mine's upstairs on the
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: opposite side of the house. And we can go hours together.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: Without seeing each other or even talking. But most recently,
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: now that we have Capri, you know, yeah, I'm talking
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: about you. She just looked at me. We go on walks.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: So one or two walks a day and our evening walk,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: like we take them out and they're so cute together.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: And it's kind of like our time to like sit
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: there and talk and walk and all that. where before
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: he would take rugby out on a walk and he's like,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: you want to go? I'm like, nah, I'm good. Well,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: now I'm going. Yeah.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: Now you're like, how's she settling in?
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: She's doing so good. I mean, we're still, you know,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: working with the potty stuff, but she knows like here
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: in Big Bear, we, you know, she's close to us,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: but she has snuck off upstairs. Now she can go
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: upstairs and she'll go to the bathroom on the carpet
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: up there, the rug up there. And she knows when,
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: and it's usually our fault. because we try to take
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: her out every, at least every hour. And I found
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: like putting her on a leash. She knows, okay, we're
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: going potty. Like I just don't let her run out
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: there and do it only because there's no fence around
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: her house and she will run. She loves to run.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: She's a puppy, but she's doing great. She's growing so quickly.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: she's becoming her own little person. She's sweet.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: She's cute.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: And it kind of like filled that gap of being
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: like an empty nester. Now it's like, we're at the
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: rodeo and I'm like, Oh my God, what is she doing?
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: I hope she's okay. You know, like, you know, those
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: worries you have as a mom.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: It's like when you leave your baby at home. Now
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: I'm having those worries about her and she is time consuming.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: And I like that because a lot of times I'll
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: sit my ass on the computer all day long.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You're like, Oh, okay. Nope. Not a longer an option.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So with Teddy, with you, is intimacy different after
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: going through your treatment programs?
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: I have to say yes. I mean, I don't think
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: that before I went through treatment, I was like, I
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: didn't enjoy. It's not that I didn't enjoy, but like touch.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: Like I was never like a physical touch person. Like
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: I needed that. And now I crave it so much. Yeah.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: And it makes me feel so good to like, it
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: sounds so crazy, but even just being in the car
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: and like holding hands and like squeezing hands or like.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: That's something Eddie and I do all the time. Like
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: even in bed, watching TV, hold hands in the car,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: hold hands, sitting next to each other, hold hands. I mean,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: there's something to be said about things like that. Like
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: you don't have to be like banging like a screen
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: door on a windy day all the time, right?
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: No, but sometimes it's just the little, the little tiny
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: things that just like, Like the other day I was with,
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: I still have to call him Valley Guy. I just can't.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: I call him his real name. So I was with
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: Valley Guy. We went riding horses and it was like
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: super fun. And then I got a little bit sick
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: on the way home. And like, he just like put
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: his hand on my back. And like, just kind of
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: like tickled me. And I was like, oh my gosh.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: Does he ride horses normally?
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: No, that was the first time. Oh, okay.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: And he was like galloping around. I'm like, oh my gosh. Wow.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: Riding a horse is not easy.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: No. But he, I mean, he's one of those people,
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: it's definitely like annoying. I'm like, why do you have
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: to be good at everything?
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: Just be happy.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Be happy.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: True.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Tamara, are you still taking testosterone and how has it
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: changed you?
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: I don't take testosterone. It is highly recommended for me
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: to take it, but I don't like the way it
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: makes me feel. I've tried creams. I've tried injections. I
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: refuse to try the palette because I have such a
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: sensitive system and a sensitive like stomach. I have so
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: many stomach issues that I really have to be careful
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: what I take. Now, the cream is probably the easiest
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: for me, but then it does like make my skin
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: break out and all that stuff. And I'm just like,
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I'm good. But I am taking other hormones like progesterone
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: and estrogen and things like that. And I'm, you know,
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: It is what it is. I'm still focused on doing
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: what works for my body and paying attention to how
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: I feel rather than I have to take this and
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: I have to take that. I tried a ton of supplements.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: And if I don't feel a difference within a month,
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: to me, it's just expensive pee.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: So all these supplements to help my dopamine and all
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: these things, I'm like, I honestly don't feel that great.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: And sometimes I feel... It's in your head. It's in
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: my head. I just need to snap out of that
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: and go, you know what? It's going to be a
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: good day today. It's all in what you think and
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: what you believe. Like if you're like, God, I'm down.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: Oh my God, I don't feel good. Oh, my hormones
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: are whacked. Then you just obsess on it. And that's
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: your outcome. Sometimes I feel like I just get up
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: and go, you know what? It's going to be a
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: great day today.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: I don't give a shit.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: You know, people are going around life with bigger problems
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: and have bigger smiles on their faces.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And everybody kind of figures it out one. Yeah.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: But I think it's something that people talk about a
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: lot right now, which I don't feel like was talked
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: about like 10 years ago. It's like perimenopause, menopause.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's a real thing. It's not easy. And
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: I will say, for me, I think one of the
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: hardest for people is the hot flashes. And I am
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: lucky enough that I've never gotten one. My mom had
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: a hysterectomy when she was young. Never got one.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: So I don't know if it's hereditary or what. I've
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: gotten like night sweats where you get like a little.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: Hot at night.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: Oh, I get that.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: You like wake up and you're in like your pajamas
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: are soaking. Yeah, your own sweat.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: I've gotten that. And those aren't fun. But I did,
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: when I started hormones, I was on a new thyroid
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: medication and estrogen patch. That's the closest thing I've ever
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: come to a hot flash. As soon as I laid down,
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: I was just sweating to death. And I knew it
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: was from the estrogen patch. And I stopped taking them immediately.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: And I just went back to just doing estrogen cream.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: It's just too much for my body.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: And I have a question. Do you take metformin?
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Because they put me on that because I guess it's
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: supposed to help with your cognitive memory and stuff.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Well, it helps with a lot. It's kind of a
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: little bit of a miracle drug. People take it for anti-aging. Um,
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: it helps with your insulin levels. I'm, um, insulin resistant
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: and I have high sugar levels. So they, I'm supposed
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: to be on it three times a day. I remember
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: way back when, when I was on it and they're like, well,
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: if this isn't going to work, then we're going to have,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: there's this shot that diabetics can take like pre-diabetic, which
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: is basically Ozempic, I think.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: And it was before it was a big craze or
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: people were talking about it and doing it for diet reasons,
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: losing weight reasons. But, um, Yeah, I'm on it. Supposed
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: to be on it three times a day. I'm on
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: it twice a day because that's all I can remember.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: I'm too busy in the middle of the day to
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: think to even pop one.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: See, but I think that I, so it's new for
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: me to be on and I think that it's making
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: me feel weird.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: It's making you nauseous.
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: So I will have waves of that once in a
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: while and I just have to drink water. Okay. On it.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: You make sure you eat. Are you on it once
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: or twice a day?
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: Twice a day, but I've been just not even taking
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: it in the morning. And I just take it in
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: bed so that, I mean, at nighttime, so that when I,
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: you'll get used.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: To that, you'll get used to it. At first it
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: made me a little nauseous. And then nowadays, um, I
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: do get, and it would scare me. And I was like,
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: every once in a while, I just felt nauseous for
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: no reason. And then everything you read, like, you know,
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: if you're nauseous, like there's something medically wrong with you.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: And it's, it's just from the metformin. It's kind of
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: a little bit of rough on the stomach. But I
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: know so many people are on it. They just put
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: my mom on it because of her insulin levels and stuff.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So, I mean, it's all these new medications. You
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: just have to trust your body and give it a chance. But, like,
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: that'll be something, like, if in three weeks from now
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: I'm still feeling the same way, then I'm going to
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: be like, I'm not taking it.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: I will tell you that it dropped my weight probably
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: a good.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: When I started the show, I was... You know, I
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: struggled to stay at like 118. I couldn't eat carbs
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: because I was insulin resistant. If I did, I would
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: gain weight very easily. Now, after being on it for years,
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: my average weight is about 111 pounds and I can
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: go down to 106 if I get super busy. So
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: it did drop my weight and that's because I can
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: process carbs better now.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: Oh, well, that's good. I mean, for me, like I'm
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: on so many steroids and antidepressants and all of those things. Like,
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: my weight is just all over the place. But I'm
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: trying to just not focus on it and be like, okay, Teddy,
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: there's more important things than looking hot in a bikini.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: So you got to just figure it out.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you... have less than a year left
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: on your treatment plan. And then after that, you have
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: all the time in the world to, to deal with that.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: Um, no, somebody asked, will my son be okay if
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: I leave my husband? And I mean, I can speak
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: for this. Like kids are incredibly resilient. That's for sure.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: Do I think that they come out of it totally unbothered? No.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: I think that, um, what matters the most is that
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: they feel loved, safe and supported and, staying in a
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: situation that isn't healthy for you is not good for
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: the kids either.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: No, it's, I think kids would rather have their parents
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: not together and getting along than together and fighting all
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: the time and adding that tension in the home. Yeah.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: I mean, ironically, it was Sydney who told, asked me
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: to leave. So because she was the one that was
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: old enough to see the fighting and she'd say, mom,
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: just please leave. Just please leave. her and I would
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: go and look at apartments before I even decided to leave. Yeah.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: So I think, I mean, I think your son will
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: be fine. I think especially if the only reason that
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: you're staying is because you want to do it for
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: your son, it means that you're probably not supposed to
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: be in that marriage anymore.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: You know, and it all depends on who you're married
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: to or who you're the father is or the mother
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: is because bitter people do horrible things to children.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: They think they're doing it to the other parent, but
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: they're actually doing it to the child.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: You know, and, and that's the worst thing ever. Like
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: just grow up and be happy. Don't try to put
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: things in their head.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. Um, the next one is, will we
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: be recapping flipping out?
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: I watch flipping out still flipping ads called, um, You'll
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: have to stay tuned. I would like to. I saw
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: the first episode and there's definitely a lot to talk about.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't rule it out.
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wouldn't rule it out, but I don't think
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: that we know yet. We have a bunch of shows
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: coming up. So I think we just got to figure out.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: Some people are wondering what happened to the Craig interview.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: It is coming out this Thursday. So we had to
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: wait a little bit. I don't know if it was
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: for the launch of his book or what it was,
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: but we held onto it for a little bit and
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: it's going to air on Thursday. So make sure you
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: tune into that. Yeah.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: Make sure you tune into our Craig pod. He was
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: so fun.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: He was, he was great. Looks so good too. Looks
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: so healthy. And he's you'll find out you have to
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: tune in to listen.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Make sure that you tune in on Thursday and then,
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: you know, guys, we'll be here. We'll be here every
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: day talking about something. Yep. We got a lot to
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: keep listening. Yeah.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: Thanks guys for tuning into another episode.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: Bye.