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Feminists Around the World: Anney · Stuff Mom Never Told You

0:05
Speaker 1: Hey, this is any and Samantha holcovery stuff. I never
0:07
Speaker 1: told you a production. If I heard you.
0:18
Speaker 2: Peek behind the curtains, I've already messed up this episode
0:20
Speaker 2: one or twice. So hey everybody. So we have always
0:24
Speaker 2: said specifically about this segment of feminists around the world
0:28
Speaker 2: that we want to make sure we are giving flowers
0:30
Speaker 2: to those who are making a difference that are with
0:33
Speaker 2: us still, but we don't want to wait till it's
0:35
Speaker 2: too late and not recognize what they have been doing
0:38
Speaker 2: or what they are doing. And that includes our very
0:41
Speaker 2: own people. So for Pride Month, we wanted to highlight
0:46
Speaker 2: one of your and my favorite hosts. Any should I
0:53
Speaker 2: say your last name? I typically don't.
0:55
Speaker 1: Any rees thank you? Yeah, that's r.
1:00
Speaker 2: And You've been so gracious to share your story when
1:02
Speaker 2: it comes to discovering your identity and like hashing out
1:05
Speaker 2: some of the things that you have worked through and
1:08
Speaker 2: just sharing it with so many And I know, like listeners,
1:12
Speaker 2: you're right there with me when you say thank you
1:14
Speaker 2: so much, because a lot of it has really really
1:17
Speaker 2: resonated with you, and you felt like being you felt
1:21
Speaker 2: like you just were seen because they have stories like you. Annie,
1:26
Speaker 2: and again like one of those things that you really
1:28
Speaker 2: discovering yourself in real time with me and the listeners.
1:33
Speaker 2: So I thought, you know, we need to talk about
1:35
Speaker 2: you as a feminist activist because as you are doing
1:39
Speaker 2: this with so much vulnerability and openness, you are doing
1:43
Speaker 2: some of the amazing work for the queer people LGBT,
1:48
Speaker 2: QUI A plus peoples. And first and foremost, give you
1:52
Speaker 2: those flowers and say thank you, but also check in
1:55
Speaker 2: with you, and I highlight you for feminists around the world.
1:58
Speaker 2: So first and foremost, let's check in. How are you?
2:02
Speaker 2: How are you celebrating this fabulous month.
2:07
Speaker 1: I'm nervous, nervous to be the highlight. I will be
2:12
Speaker 1: honest with you. I've been really busy, and you are
2:16
Speaker 1: the one that has planted in this in me, this
2:18
Speaker 1: idea I need to celebrate and I should. You're right,
2:21
Speaker 1: I have just been going about my life and I
2:26
Speaker 1: barely know what time it is anymore. I went home
2:28
Speaker 1: for the first weekend of June, so I haven't yet,
2:33
Speaker 1: but I will, and I do have a trip coming
2:35
Speaker 1: up as an end of June, and I think i'll
2:39
Speaker 1: I'll try to make that a big blowout. I'll bust
2:43
Speaker 1: out my Ace shirt and all those things. But yeah,
2:52
Speaker 1: I haven't. I haven't celebrated yet. I will say, Okay,
2:56
Speaker 1: it's coming. It was common Toad, you a cupcake or
2:59
Speaker 1: a cake.
3:01
Speaker 2: I know you've been more and more open to talking
3:05
Speaker 2: about your self discovery with lots of people, and not
3:08
Speaker 2: just our listeners, even though like you don't have to,
3:11
Speaker 2: but you do in some of this. Some of those
3:14
Speaker 2: people include your family. How has that been for you?
3:18
Speaker 2: And can you give advice to our listeners who may
3:21
Speaker 2: be in a similar journey, especially on how to be
3:25
Speaker 2: both vulnerable but at the same time I being able
3:28
Speaker 2: to guard yourself.
3:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, this is something we've talked about a lot.
3:32
Speaker 1: It can be really difficult when it's we're in this
3:37
Speaker 1: field that we're in, or you're just somebody who believes
3:39
Speaker 1: really strongly or passionately about something about LGBTQ plus rights
3:44
Speaker 1: or intersexual feminism or whatever. It can be really hard
3:46
Speaker 1: to find the line of that. I will say, I'm
3:51
Speaker 1: generally really lucky in that my immediate family obviously most
3:55
Speaker 1: of my closest friends are cool, I'll all say. But
4:01
Speaker 1: even with that, because it's been like it's in a
4:05
Speaker 1: book that I wrote about coming out and it's this
4:08
Speaker 1: this podcast I talked about it. It's like out there.
4:13
Speaker 1: And so now that kind of line of maybe I
4:16
Speaker 1: don't want to say something right now is gone. It
4:20
Speaker 1: feels like it's gone because they know and that I
4:28
Speaker 1: think a lot of us can relate to that, whether
4:30
Speaker 1: you have podcasts or you're open about it or not.
4:32
Speaker 1: But it just feels like there's almost a strange and
4:37
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people can relate on maybe
4:40
Speaker 1: not even being queer, but on similar things. It's a
4:43
Speaker 1: strange like head turning that happens to me now, where
4:47
Speaker 1: if something about LGBTQ plus stuff comes up, people turn
4:52
Speaker 1: and they look at me, and so it's sort of
4:58
Speaker 1: a it's a you know, and I hate it because
5:02
Speaker 1: I do like talking about it and I am passionate
5:04
Speaker 1: about it, and a lot of times it's fine, but
5:08
Speaker 1: you never know that initial head turn moment. You don't
5:13
Speaker 1: know right. And so there's been a bit of that
5:16
Speaker 1: and a bit of like honestly, really genuinely, people want
5:23
Speaker 1: to know more and do better, and I appreciate that,
5:28
Speaker 1: but I'm still I still feel kind of like a baby.
5:32
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm doing my best and I'm reading
5:35
Speaker 1: what I can, but I still feel like a like
5:38
Speaker 1: straight passing baby. So it's sort of and we talked
5:43
Speaker 1: about this in our recent Sex in the City episode. Yeah,
5:46
Speaker 1: funnily enough, but it's not like you suddenly get all
5:50
Speaker 1: the answers right when you come out and that there
5:55
Speaker 1: isn't sad divisions within the LGBTQ plus can Ny itself.
6:01
Speaker 1: So I have felt I feel better about that, but
6:05
Speaker 1: I'm still nervous. Like when I go to a Pride event,
6:08
Speaker 1: I'm still nervous, so I'm like, oh, what if they
6:09
Speaker 1: don't think I should be here? So that's been that.
6:16
Speaker 1: It's also funny because we've talked about this before too.
6:20
Speaker 1: A lot of the backlash around Pride months from people
6:24
Speaker 1: who don't think it should exist is that it's like
6:27
Speaker 1: it draws too much attention. I really don't want that
6:30
Speaker 1: much attention, but it's like, but it feels like you're
6:37
Speaker 1: looking at me with your head turn right. So it's
6:40
Speaker 1: just been interesting to adjust to that part, I think.
6:45
Speaker 1: But almost everyone's been really supportive and genuinely wants to
6:53
Speaker 1: learn more.
6:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, I find it funny because when people are like
6:58
Speaker 2: they're shoving it in our faces outside of the fact
7:01
Speaker 2: that I purposely follow people that are like LGBTQIA plus
7:08
Speaker 2: or the fact that my algorithm has it because I
7:10
Speaker 2: purposely watch these things. You can absolutely not know or
7:17
Speaker 2: pay attention to any of this really easily, which is
7:20
Speaker 2: like unfortunate for you, because this is great stuff and
7:23
Speaker 2: these are some amazing people, and like being a part
7:25
Speaker 2: of a celebration that celebrates people's love and life should
7:28
Speaker 2: be a thing. But the fact that people are so
7:30
Speaker 2: pressed about this because they're like they're shoving it though
7:33
Speaker 2: they're not, They're just existing. This is the weirdest thing
7:36
Speaker 2: because they have one parade you're really upset, which you
7:40
Speaker 2: could just stay home and I was at home or me.
7:43
Speaker 2: They have rainbow flags, which you used to love rainbows.
7:46
Speaker 2: It's just a rainbow flag. Get over it. And you
7:49
Speaker 2: don't have to buy it. That's the other part of that.
7:51
Speaker 2: You don't have to buy any of these things. So
7:53
Speaker 2: I don't understand how it's shoved into your face.
7:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, either, because again, I'd be perfectly happy living my
8:03
Speaker 1: life never talking about with my homophobic family members of
8:07
Speaker 1: this mean specifically, I'll stand up, but I'm I don't
8:13
Speaker 1: feel like I'm shoving it down your road exactly.
8:16
Speaker 2: Existing is not shoving it down your throat. You're just hating,
8:19
Speaker 2: end of the point. And I was just going to
8:32
Speaker 2: ask you just the top of your head, but you
8:33
Speaker 2: wouldn't do research mode on those because you are you
8:35
Speaker 2: and I love you for it. Uh, there's been so
8:37
Speaker 2: much going on when it comes to queer policies or
8:41
Speaker 2: anti queer policies and anti lgbtqy policies, plus what are
8:45
Speaker 2: some things that you think we should be paying attention to.
8:48
Speaker 1: Well, it's funny because before this you were like, I
8:50
Speaker 1: didn't really mean to make this into research for you,
8:53
Speaker 1: and it really wasn't. It really wasn't. I've been thinking
8:55
Speaker 1: about this. I have some other episodes like on my mind,
8:58
Speaker 1: but it is something where I feel, again going back
9:03
Speaker 1: to that point, like I have to provekay. I'm like, see.
9:09
Speaker 2: Oh you oh you're by prove it?
9:11
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, to prove it? Oh no, yes, yes, But
9:17
Speaker 1: that's that's like my own baggage. And I think a
9:21
Speaker 1: lot of people have it for one thing or another,
9:24
Speaker 1: but I but I legitimately I have been looking into
9:28
Speaker 1: this for just as a person, but also as episodes
9:34
Speaker 1: that are coming up, but okay. So, as of May
9:38
Speaker 1: thirty first, twenty twenty four, the ACLU is tracking five
9:41
Speaker 1: hundred and fifteen anti LGBTQ bills in the US. They
9:44
Speaker 1: have a really cool graphic and you can click on
9:48
Speaker 1: every state and see what they are. From the Washington Post,
9:52
Speaker 1: the UN Human Rights Committees review into the state of
9:55
Speaker 1: human rights in the United States the first and nine
9:57
Speaker 1: years express concern quote at the increase in the number
10:01
Speaker 1: of state laws that severely restrict the rights of persons
10:03
Speaker 1: on the basis of their sexual orientation our gender identity.
10:07
Speaker 1: A post analysis of FBI data published in March found
10:10
Speaker 1: that hate crimes in schools have risen sharply in recent years,
10:14
Speaker 1: with the starkest impact in states where LGBTQ plus students
10:18
Speaker 1: face restrictive laws, and last year, Canada issued a warning
10:23
Speaker 1: to queer people thinking of traveling to the US. So
10:25
Speaker 1: it's pretty bad, honestly, A lot of times when I
10:28
Speaker 1: go to Pride events, that's one of the things I
10:31
Speaker 1: think of. Once again, not unique to gay people, but
10:37
Speaker 1: it is something that I think of. I will say,
10:40
Speaker 1: as our recent classics have indicated local politics are so important,
10:48
Speaker 1: so I would say keep an eye on that we
10:51
Speaker 1: were talking about libraries and curriculum that are banning queer material,
10:59
Speaker 1: among a bunch of other things that is really detrimental
11:05
Speaker 1: to us. So many times on the show, I've said
11:08
Speaker 1: I wish I had this as a kid, and they
11:10
Speaker 1: always act like it's like, oh, well, it's turning you gay. No,
11:15
Speaker 1: it's helping you, like realize, it's like giving you a
11:18
Speaker 1: voice to a thing you feel.
11:23
Speaker 2: Just the level of like ignorance, it's turning you gay.
11:27
Speaker 2: He's like, yeahs not how that works, but you do you.
11:31
Speaker 1: Boo, No, it's not at all. And so that that's
11:35
Speaker 1: been that's been on the Rise. We talked about that
11:37
Speaker 1: in our episode on the Rise in band books. We
11:41
Speaker 1: talked about that in genderquer which is our book club
11:43
Speaker 1: pick for Pride Month last year, still the most banned
11:46
Speaker 1: book in the United States. So I think that's really important.
11:51
Speaker 1: If you can support your local libraries, uh not. You know, Unfortunately,
11:57
Speaker 1: as with many things you're going to talk about, it's
11:59
Speaker 1: not like all libraries are great. But yeah, if you
12:03
Speaker 1: do your research and it seems like a good library,
12:07
Speaker 1: then support your local library elections. I know people are
12:11
Speaker 1: tired about hearing about it. I know it's frustrating. I
12:14
Speaker 1: hear you, I hear you. But there are so many
12:18
Speaker 1: elections that are really leaning into kind of this anti
12:23
Speaker 1: LGBTQ plus thing. There's one in Missouri where the whole
12:26
Speaker 1: slogan is don't be weak and gay. The Colorado Republican
12:32
Speaker 1: Party is calling for people to burn the Pride flag
12:35
Speaker 1: at the start of Pride Month, which like, if you
12:38
Speaker 1: buy the Pride flag, that kind of makes me laugh,
12:40
Speaker 1: But okay, do you yeah, spend that money? All right?
12:46
Speaker 1: From Axios quote as Pride Month begins Saturday, Floridians will
12:51
Speaker 1: notice a bvid difference. Instead of casting rainbows bridges around
12:54
Speaker 1: the state, we'll only light up in red, white and blue.
12:58
Speaker 1: The Dasantus administry, which issued this year's ban on rainbow lights,
13:02
Speaker 1: is calling it Freedom Summer. Yeah cool? Correct?
13:12
Speaker 2: What?
13:14
Speaker 1: And that was of a really interesting article from Maxios
13:16
Speaker 1: about how Florida became one of the most anti LGBTQ
13:24
Speaker 1: plus states, and it had this other quote. Some trans
13:27
Speaker 1: people and their families have relocated to more accepting states.
13:30
Speaker 1: Others have turned to crowdfunding platforms like gofund me hoping
13:34
Speaker 1: to do so, which is just tragic and I hate
13:36
Speaker 1: it for a lot of reasons. But one of the things,
13:39
Speaker 1: and I know we have this conversation with Bridget forever
13:43
Speaker 1: go off mic, but one of the things that breaks
13:44
Speaker 1: my heart about this is if people leave, then it's
13:48
Speaker 1: going to get like more staunch, right, But I also
13:50
Speaker 1: can't blame you for leaving me.
13:52
Speaker 2: That's and for those who can't afford to leave, they're
13:55
Speaker 2: stuck with the even more staunch is such a bad
14:00
Speaker 2: level of like it, how do you cut this circle?
14:04
Speaker 2: But at the same time, you don't want to be
14:05
Speaker 2: at Texas as a great example of what's happening, and
14:09
Speaker 2: people are really like, maybe this is not is we
14:11
Speaker 2: need to go. We need to go, And it became
14:14
Speaker 2: more and more not because everybody's leaving, but those who
14:18
Speaker 2: can are leaving, and then those who are stuck are stuck,
14:22
Speaker 2: and it's kind of one of those lamboles. And then
14:23
Speaker 2: with that, with a little more increase in power, they
14:26
Speaker 2: get more power by jerrymandering into a bigger situation, which
14:30
Speaker 2: is exactly what's happening in a lot of the different states.
14:32
Speaker 2: And we know jerium mandering happens in both routes, but
14:35
Speaker 2: we've seen it like in this tenfold of like what
14:38
Speaker 2: is the silly squiggly line that you've made into a
14:42
Speaker 2: district that and then it separates a little bit. It's
14:44
Speaker 2: like an exclamation point. How is this one district? And
14:47
Speaker 2: that's because you know, like it's become that level. But
14:50
Speaker 2: the fact that this is a continued level of power.
14:52
Speaker 2: And I said to our listeners in Texas, we know,
14:55
Speaker 2: like people, things are shifting in Texas. Don't get me wrong.
14:57
Speaker 2: I think things have kind of shifted in Florida. We've
14:59
Speaker 2: seen the different candidates who are like flipped a few
15:02
Speaker 2: parties and I'm like, all right, go ahead, But in
15:05
Speaker 2: this level also of like this feels even more so
15:09
Speaker 2: like choosing the lesser evil.
15:12
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, that article that I just mentioned, they said
15:17
Speaker 1: it's turning in Florida slowly, but surely, or at least
15:21
Speaker 1: this year. It doesn't seem to be as a big
15:24
Speaker 1: People aren't so into this, like right, anti gay agenda.
15:28
Speaker 2: Right, They're starting to realize, oh, this doesn't make us
15:30
Speaker 2: much sense. I think when they started going after Disney,
15:34
Speaker 2: they're like, oh, and there you're hurting our pockets, right,
15:38
Speaker 2: and my fun this is not this is you. You
15:42
Speaker 2: did not include this as a part of you are
15:45
Speaker 2: we have to hate people, right?
15:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, that's just something we'll probably come back
15:52
Speaker 1: and have a bigger conversation about that. But and that
15:56
Speaker 1: leads into we talked about this all the time, but
15:59
Speaker 1: a big thing to keep an eye on is anti
16:01
Speaker 1: trans walls and rhetoric. Recent polling has found that support
16:05
Speaker 1: of the queer community has gone up in the US
16:08
Speaker 1: except for trans people, where it's gone down, right, and
16:12
Speaker 1: that like if you think it doesn't matter when people
16:16
Speaker 1: just say politicians just say things, or people just say things,
16:22
Speaker 1: it does right, and it's dangerous.
16:25
Speaker 2: And this is like the modern day example of white
16:27
Speaker 2: feminism when they were like, yes, we want feminism, but
16:29
Speaker 2: mainly if you if the black women don't get it,
16:32
Speaker 2: that's okay, we're gonna work on us first. That's kind
16:34
Speaker 2: of the same LGBTQ like ideal where they leave out
16:38
Speaker 2: the tea in that Okay, but we're gonna work on
16:41
Speaker 2: this first and then we'll come back to you and
16:43
Speaker 2: like no, no, no, you need to reverse that because
16:46
Speaker 2: what you're seeing is that the most marginalized will continue
16:49
Speaker 2: to stay marginalized and not everyone will be free. As
16:51
Speaker 2: where if you start with the most marginalized, everyone will
16:53
Speaker 2: be free. Like it's kind of like, yeah, and this
16:58
Speaker 2: is that real life translation that we're seeing.
17:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, and if you look at the laws, a lot
17:02
Speaker 1: of them are specifically aimed towards trans people, right, and
17:08
Speaker 1: going along with that, like, I would just keep an
17:11
Speaker 1: ear out for weaponized use of terms like grooming and
17:13
Speaker 1: pedophiles when it comes to gay folks, because I'm seeing
17:17
Speaker 1: it more normalized now.
17:18
Speaker 2: And it's, oh you are that's interesting, I'm seeing it.
17:24
Speaker 1: I feel like it used to be more like wink wink,
17:29
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And now it's much more
17:35
Speaker 1: We've just become more polarized in general as a society.
17:38
Speaker 2: I think it's definitely this level of like fantasy versus
17:41
Speaker 2: reality again. What we talked about what grooming looks like
17:44
Speaker 2: and who is actually being groomed and who are actually
17:46
Speaker 2: being trafficked. And we just had this conversation with Bridget
17:50
Speaker 2: when it came to like Playboy magazine and like they're
17:53
Speaker 2: actually a great example of like who you want to
17:56
Speaker 2: see as victims and so would that they also want
17:59
Speaker 2: to say who they want to see as the perpetrators.
18:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, they I can't. I feel like you're the one
18:08
Speaker 1: who can't you can't stop talking about that.
18:11
Speaker 2: There's a thing of like, the many arrests that I've
18:13
Speaker 2: seen have typically been one who's like group of people
18:19
Speaker 2: and they are your friends.
18:21
Speaker 1: Ruh, Yeah, that's a good point of Yeah.
18:30
Speaker 2: Rarely have I ever seen No, I don't think there
18:31
Speaker 2: has been any conversation of trans person being a groomor
18:38
Speaker 2: like into that level of like, don't get me wrong,
18:41
Speaker 2: grooming happens all over the place, and we know that
18:42
Speaker 2: things happen, but when it comes especially with trafficking, you're like,
18:46
Speaker 2: and once again, I do not see a drag wing
18:49
Speaker 2: up in this thing.
18:50
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but they love to talk about it and
18:55
Speaker 1: act like that's the case, and that's the terminology they use,
18:59
Speaker 1: and it's incredibly har hardful, and people have been attacked.
19:02
Speaker 1: So I think that's something to keep an eye out
19:04
Speaker 1: for if you want to see some bombastic language. I'm
19:07
Speaker 1: going to come back and talk about this for my
19:08
Speaker 1: happy hour, I think. But the Queer Planet documentary that's
19:11
Speaker 1: coming out, the number of people in my life who've
19:15
Speaker 1: told me you can't be gay. Animals aren't gay, and
19:20
Speaker 1: now they have this documentary that's like gay Animals, which
19:24
Speaker 1: I haven't seen, so who knows. It could be terrible.
19:26
Speaker 1: But now they're like this is propa good. H Like, well,
19:32
Speaker 1: you've been telling me my whole.
19:33
Speaker 2: Life you're doing this thing, so you do you b.
19:39
Speaker 1: I love that you compare me to an animal. Thanks
19:42
Speaker 1: also if.
19:43
Speaker 2: You want to go into that, and we lived in
19:44
Speaker 2: that whole leg like some of the women kill the
19:46
Speaker 2: men and then they keep on perpetuating and maybe we
19:49
Speaker 2: should do something. Is that the theory can a defense?
19:55
Speaker 2: Which what is it?
19:58
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? And then like I have a lot of
20:04
Speaker 1: religious they're not friends, but they're like on my periphery.
20:08
Speaker 1: And the whole thing with the Pope really blew up
20:10
Speaker 1: recently where he said some pretty dad things, yeah about
20:14
Speaker 1: gay people behind doors, and he's been like progressive for
20:17
Speaker 1: the Catholic Church. But they definitely took that as a win. Okay,
20:21
Speaker 1: international stuff, listeners, please write in and let us know
20:25
Speaker 1: because this is mostly US based. I have read stuff
20:30
Speaker 1: that's going on that isn't great around the world, but
20:32
Speaker 1: I found some good news as well. More than thirty
20:35
Speaker 1: countries have now legalized gay marriage on the federal level.
20:39
Speaker 1: In the US, several protections have been upheld are put
20:43
Speaker 1: in place, and just because I had to look going
20:45
Speaker 1: back to that ACLU map quote. In Georgia, every proposed
20:49
Speaker 1: anti LGBTQ plus bill was defeated, including bills related to
20:52
Speaker 1: marriage schools and drag performances. And I read some of
20:56
Speaker 1: them and they were like, what entries.
21:01
Speaker 2: I mean, it's from like the Marjorie Taylor Green Playbook
21:04
Speaker 2: to making the most extreme as possible, so knowing that
21:07
Speaker 2: you won't win, but you can say you did that
21:10
Speaker 2: and you are a champion of conservative families.
21:14
Speaker 1: That is. There's a lot of things, a lot of
21:17
Speaker 1: things I don't like about American politics, but one of
21:21
Speaker 1: them is that posturing. I hate that agreed, agreed.
21:25
Speaker 2: But I'm glad to know that it's been a shutdown.
21:27
Speaker 2: Come on, Georgia, we're getting.
21:28
Speaker 1: There slowly, slowly anyway.
21:31
Speaker 2: There's a lot of other things that's not hood but slowly.
21:45
Speaker 2: So with that, thank you for all. It's like all
21:47
Speaker 2: that research because I was like, oh no, I just
21:49
Speaker 2: meant for you to share old Okay, okay, but of
21:52
Speaker 2: course I should have known any I thought about taking
21:55
Speaker 2: that question off.
21:56
Speaker 1: To be honest, I'm like, she's gonna end.
21:57
Speaker 2: Up working a lot on this, but from your first
22:01
Speaker 2: episode of coming out to to today, do you feel
22:05
Speaker 2: like you've progressed in your learning about yourself and how
22:08
Speaker 2: you're communicating it and telling your story and even like
22:11
Speaker 2: what you've learned and like maybe this is the part
22:14
Speaker 2: that I'm like you not that you wish you could
22:16
Speaker 2: take back, but now that you know, you're like, these
22:18
Speaker 2: are the things that maybe I would have filtered out
22:21
Speaker 2: or not or things that you wish you would added before.
22:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's when I look back, it was
22:33
Speaker 1: it was such a like bright shiny revelation. But on
22:36
Speaker 1: the flip side, I was so scared. I was so
22:40
Speaker 1: vulnerable and I felt so scared about it, and I
22:42
Speaker 1: felt like it wasn't right or could be this problem
22:44
Speaker 1: or this problem or trying to explain it away, and
22:47
Speaker 1: then I felt like I don't belong in the queer community.
22:50
Speaker 1: And then I had a lot of doubts. But it
22:53
Speaker 1: was exciting, Like it was really like it felt right,
22:57
Speaker 1: even if I was worried other people wouldn't see it
23:00
Speaker 1: that way, Like I was going back and thinking about
23:03
Speaker 1: what my axes would think. Why. But now I feel
23:10
Speaker 1: much more settled in it. I still have moments of
23:17
Speaker 1: I don't know. Fear might be too strong a word,
23:18
Speaker 1: but I still have moments of like, I don't know
23:21
Speaker 1: how people might judge me or something like that. I
23:24
Speaker 1: have moments where i run into someone who does judge me,
23:26
Speaker 1: and I'm kind of shocked because I'm in my bubble
23:28
Speaker 1: that is wonderful and nice, but I forget it's not
23:32
Speaker 1: like that if I go outside of that sometimes, and
23:35
Speaker 1: for a while, I just was so worried people would
23:37
Speaker 1: think like, oh, she's a sad single woman. And now
23:41
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like, I don't care if you want
23:43
Speaker 1: to think that I'm good. So I think a lot
23:50
Speaker 1: of it has been I've just sort of settled into
23:55
Speaker 1: it and I'm happy with it. It doesn't have the
23:58
Speaker 1: same kind of bright excitement did at the beginning. It's
24:01
Speaker 1: more just like, Yeah, that's that's what it is. That's
24:04
Speaker 1: my personality.
24:06
Speaker 2: Where you're you're becoming a senior than this and that
24:11
Speaker 2: you said, I still feel like your baby. But at
24:12
Speaker 2: the same time you realize all these things, which was
24:15
Speaker 2: a big deal, but you're like, but this makes sense
24:18
Speaker 2: and it's my life. Yeah, I'm cool with this. And
24:21
Speaker 2: the fact that the people who loved you the most
24:22
Speaker 2: are like, yeah, okay, that makes sense. Things were telling us.
24:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's pretty much been the reaction, and it's been
24:29
Speaker 1: like one of the best reactions I could have ever asked.
24:33
Speaker 2: Here's some gloves I bought you, which was my old mama.
24:40
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, baby, bisexual, let me get you
24:43
Speaker 2: some colors. Yeah, I'm old anyway. Uh And with that,
24:53
Speaker 2: of course, do you have any organizations that you would
24:56
Speaker 2: like to highlight for us listeners so we can also
25:00
Speaker 2: be uh an ally in this journey.
25:05
Speaker 1: Yes, it comes with an unfortunate disclaimer that I think
25:09
Speaker 1: we all know. I always do your research first, because
25:12
Speaker 1: there's some organizations that, like you think are good and
25:15
Speaker 1: you find something out later, are they change? They can
25:18
Speaker 1: make amends. But in point, if I say something in here,
25:21
Speaker 1: if I shout out someone in here and you know
25:24
Speaker 1: that they've done something that's not great, because I hate that.
25:29
Speaker 1: It's true. But as I said, there is in finding
25:33
Speaker 1: and judgment within the queer community as well, right, so.
25:37
Speaker 2: Also there's greed and.
25:40
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely anything, yes, please please let me know. Because
25:47
Speaker 1: I was definitely supporting an organization that I later found
25:49
Speaker 1: out not so great.
25:51
Speaker 2: Write I did the same and I was like oh
25:52
Speaker 2: he stole all the money.
25:54
Speaker 1: Oh well damn. Yes. So I always get kind of
25:58
Speaker 1: nervous doing this, but but these these are some that
26:02
Speaker 1: came to mind. I will say, like, if you need resources,
26:07
Speaker 1: you can reach out to us, and I have some
26:11
Speaker 1: that I have some very like asexuality specific ones just
26:16
Speaker 1: for information, but there are a lot for however you
26:20
Speaker 1: may identify or your sexual orientation. Again, do your research
26:25
Speaker 1: because there can be misinformation and disinformation. But if you
26:30
Speaker 1: if you want any of that, you can reach out
26:33
Speaker 1: some organizations. I'm going to start with two of the
26:35
Speaker 1: big ones that like people know, but I'm going to
26:37
Speaker 1: shut them out glad because we use them all the
26:39
Speaker 1: time in research and so personally thank you. But they
26:45
Speaker 1: do a lot of like media studies around the LGBTQ
26:49
Speaker 1: plus community. The Trevor Project, which is about suicidality and
26:55
Speaker 1: suicide prevention within the queer community. Snack Coo, which was
27:00
Speaker 1: started in Atlanta, Yeah I did not know, which is
27:04
Speaker 1: about specifically trans black people, but queer people in prison
27:10
Speaker 1: and getting like stopping that pipeline and fixing helping to
27:15
Speaker 1: fix that. Transgender Law Center, and Immigration Equality, which is
27:20
Speaker 1: about things like refugees and making sure that they have
27:26
Speaker 1: their rights and the things that they need.
27:28
Speaker 2: Yeah.
27:29
Speaker 1: So yeah, those are awesome.
27:32
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you for letting me put you on
27:36
Speaker 2: the spot. Just so y'all know, I did give her
27:38
Speaker 2: a heads up and ask her first before we will
27:40
Speaker 2: come at me, would you make her do this? I
27:43
Speaker 2: know I'm cool, but again, we are all about wanting
27:47
Speaker 2: to share and be vulnerable with you, as well as
27:50
Speaker 2: the fact that we are all about wanting to give
27:52
Speaker 2: flowers to you and acknowledge that you are a feminist
27:57
Speaker 2: activist around the world and we love you for what
28:00
Speaker 2: you do, your vulnerability, just for being you and existing
28:07
Speaker 2: and loving us enough to trust us with who you are.
28:10
Speaker 2: So an we celebrate you. Happy Pride month. I'll bring
28:12
Speaker 2: you okay sometimes soon, I swear to God. Thank you
28:20
Speaker 2: and honestly listeners. If you have a story about your
28:23
Speaker 2: own coming out or just being vulnerable or just learning
28:26
Speaker 2: about your identity as well, like I know you have
28:28
Speaker 2: written to us before, especially to Annie, to thank her
28:32
Speaker 2: for her journey and relating to her and or advice
28:35
Speaker 2: giving our advice about your own coming out, and you
28:38
Speaker 2: want to share your story and you want us to
28:40
Speaker 2: share with for you, please do we would we love
28:43
Speaker 2: listener mill Yes, and we would love to feature that
28:45
Speaker 2: on a feminist activist around the world because you existing,
28:47
Speaker 2: unfortunately and the agent time like this and you being
28:50
Speaker 2: who you are is a form of activism. That doesn't
28:54
Speaker 2: mean unfortunately as in like you existing, but unfortunately that
28:58
Speaker 2: sometimes being who you are can come out a cost
29:02
Speaker 2: and we know that, we know that, we see that
29:05
Speaker 2: and we love you for who you are. So if
29:07
Speaker 2: you have a story, let us.
29:08
Speaker 1: Know, yes. And thank you to you, Samantha for being
29:13
Speaker 1: so supportive as I've done, as I've figured this out
29:17
Speaker 1: for the cake part, Auntie. You listeners truly who've written
29:22
Speaker 1: in and given me advice or given me resources that
29:26
Speaker 1: was It's been amazing, So thank you, thank you, thank you.
29:29
Speaker 1: You can email u at Stephania moms Stuff at iHeartMedia
29:31
Speaker 1: dot com. You can find us on Twitter at mom
29:33
Speaker 1: Stuff podcast, or in Instagram and TikTok at stuff One
29:36
Speaker 1: Never told you. We're also on YouTube. We have a
29:38
Speaker 1: tea public store and we have a book where we
29:40
Speaker 1: talk about this stuff. You can find it wherever you
29:43
Speaker 1: get your books. Thanks as always too, our super producer Christina,
29:46
Speaker 1: our executive ducer My and your contributor Joey, Thank you
29:49
Speaker 1: and thanks to you for listening stuff. Never told you
29:51
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