Latest / The Rooted Family / Ep 31 | Darla’s Big Heart Surgery (And How Hard Things Challenge Us to Grow Deeper)

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Ep 31 | Darla’s Big Heart Surgery (And How Hard Things Challenge Us to Grow Deeper) · The Rooted Family

• Christian Cornish: And then we get to the heart surgery. I just remember thinking. Like what if she doesn't make it through in all these like five and a half months were for nothing? Like all that conquering and then she just dies. You know, like what if she just dies and she doesn't conquer the heart surgery? Like what's the point? And I had to get so real with my faith, knowing even if she didn't make it through, which was a possibility, I mean she literally was going through open heart surgery, like even if can I still stand here? And say that God is still good. Well, welcome back to the Rooted Family Podcast. We are Christian and Kayla Cornish, and we are so glad you are here today. We are gonna welcome you into a very special anniversary, if you call it, in our house. we call it a heart adversary. I think that's a thing in the the children's heart medical world. Kayla, you can correct me if I'm wrong on that. Yeah, it's when kids have open heart surgery, each year celebrating the the anniversary of that surgery. And so you can call it like a heart day or we're calling it heartniversary, And so the timing is really really good right now because we just celebrated our first heartniversary for Darla. And we wanted to give some space here on the podcast to record her story. we've already recorded the first couple parts of her story. You can go back and listen to those. And we recorded the first part, I believe it was episode twenty-two and twenty-three. Darla, spent a significant part of her first year of life in the hospital, undergoing many surgeries, and we're still walking a difficult medical journey with her. But it is through the various challenges and storms in life that we get the unique opportunity. To cling to Jesus. And we can either walk away from our faith when times get really hard, or we can go deeper with him. And just like a tree, like a large mighty oak tree, when storms come and the rain is just pelting down and the wind is blowing, trees who typically have A strong deep root system are the trees that stand. And we want to see the body of Christ withstand the hard times in life, like really cling to Jesus and get to know him more through the trials. And I think what makes this episode different than the other two is we really have a chance to go back and reflect on how we had been through a really huge storm already. And this heart surgery, this heart of versary, I think for me is really an opportunity to learn from the prior storms. So like it's not this isn't just a continuation of the story. I think what's gonna make this one different is that we can recall and pull from those roots that went deeper. So you can really look back and say, what did I learn from the last experience that I went through? Yeah. What did that feel like? what thoughts were we having? What things did we struggle with, what things did we do well. And of course every situation you go through has its own unique circumstances and twists compared to the last one. But you can learn from your prior experience and pull directly, how am I gonna move through this one different? I think one thing that does make this story different than the other stories was this was well over a year of anticipation. Yeah. and that's kind of a unique thing for a lot of the storms we go through in life. most things that I think happen to people are often sudden. They're unknown. They are a surprise or an accident. But we had known that this was coming. I at least Eleven months. I'm trying to remember for sure. I think you have a an entry from your journal. Yeah, I have my journal here actually of when we learned about Darla. And we found out about her heart diagnosis on November eighth of twenty four. And she didn't have her open heart surgery until the following September. Yeah, so this is ten months. And back in at the time of this entry, Darla is in the womb. I yeah, I was 20 weeks caring her. and then this is when you you discovered through an ultrasound that there were gonna be issues that we would have to work through. And it I I like how you said that our experiences and how we walk through trials and suffering, you know, we can look back on previous trials and suffering and And if we want to, we can learn from that. And it can really help us as we walk through the next one. And I even think about the track record of God. I think we all can look back on our trials and see how God showed up. And we can choose to not reflect on that. And that's like a whole nother issue, I think, our unwillingness to To face the hard thing and reflect. Or we can take significant time to lament, to grieve, to process, to journal, to talk to people, to seek counseling. And through that hard work of reflecting, we can learn from that experience. We can see the track record of God and how He was faithful, how He was good. And it Does help anchor us in the next hard thing. Because the reality is, like, if you're breathing and you live on this earth, you are going to walk through hard times. Jesus does not promise us an easy life. And I I truly dislike the sentiment that people often say that God only gives you what you can handle. But this is truly not biblical. It is actually the opposite. Most times in scriptures, people are given way more than they could ever possibly handle without God. And the only way they make it through is with the Father. And so I think that's what this story represents. but I also reflect on like, think about the other trials. Darla's heart surgery was not the first medical trial we've had in our family. you're right. Yeah. We've had several. We've like uniquely walked through many different circumstances with our kids with near death experiences. Yeah, and it's I guess it is one of those things that if you meet our other six children, you would never guess that, right? Like there's no disabilities, there's no like lasting effects. Lasting effects. They've they've recovered from all of those things. So yeah, you're right. Darla was not the first one. and so there was definitely some experience that we could draw on. You know, our oldest daughter and then our oldest son, each of them had like emergency medical things pop up. Mm-hmm. And in both of those circumstances, they were like life or death within hours. And so with those circumstances, you know, we learned how to handle the emergency. Mm-hmm and There were some emergency things with Darla, especially even after she came home. So our other two podcast episodes concluded with the story of Darla leaving the NICU. But Darla actually returned to the hospital at least once before her surgery and then she her heart surgery and she returned to the hospital after for emergency unknown what's going on. type moments that were really scary. Yeah. I I'm curious to know to just slow the story down just a moment, but like reflecting on Azalea, she got bacterial meningitis. She was in the hospital and like really could have died. I mean it was really bad. And she she did make it through. And then Brave, he was our other heart kiddo who had a serious heart condition that happened after he was born that also hospitalized him for a while. Looking back on those two experiences, how do you feel like walking through those trials almost prepared us to walk through Darla's open heart surgery? Yeah, I think walking into that day, there is definitely a trust in the Lord of seen him faithfully deliver our other children through some, you know, really major medical things. And so walking into surgery, you know, you're never fully prepared, but I wasn't feeling unhinged. about the moment. I guess it did help really bring a little more steadiness to the moment. How would you say it prepared you for that big morning? You know It's interesting because Darla spent a lot of time, you know, months in the NICU before this moment. And so I knew it what it was like to sit at her bedside and see her so ill. And I reflect back on those two times with Azalea and with Brave and being at their bedside. And I remember in those two circumstances, because those are like our first two major medical situations, the strengthening. of my inner spirit. there's not many other things as a parent that can bring you to your knees than like sitting at the bedside of your child and when you don't know if they're gonna make it it's an unexplainable like surrender. Like a loss of control. there's nothing you can do. it's not like you can go into their body and make them better. And I remember feeling that when I was sitting next to Azalea and sitting next to Brave. You know, Brave was a similar situation in the sense that he was a newborn. He was only two weeks old when he was hospitalized for his heart. And Watching that little tiny baby, knowing his heart was broken in some way, I do feel like the Lord grew me and took our roots deeper in that because we had to surrender him. We had to surrender him to the to the Lord, to the doctors, and trust that what they were going to do with him was going to help him. And I do feel like that. gave me an inner strength for what was gonna take place with darla because in darla's situation it was obviously much more involved. You know, they had to l essentially open her up, break her chest bones, literally stop her heart, put her on bypass, meaning her heart was not pumping during the course of the surgery. They then repaired her heart and then they had to stitch her all back up and And then we hope and pray that her heart can turn back on and she can make it through it. But there is such a surrender to hand your baby over for open heart surgery. And I just think God never wastes anything. And although I would never have wished that Azalia had bacterial meningitis or Brave having his heart condition. I do see looking back how walking through those moments prepared us to face this with a different level of faith. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Going back to Darla's story, we found out she had a heart condition in the womb at 20 weeks. And you can go back to episode 22, because in that episode, we actually talked in detail of what that experience was like, of finding out about Darla's heart condition. and then from that point forward, we like You said, Chris, we waited essentially another year before she ended up having her open heart surgery. But at the time when we learned about a heart diagnosis, we actually didn't know many details at all. Like we didn't know how severe it was. We knew it was bad, but we didn't know how bad. We we knew she would need an open heart surgery right after she was born, but we didn't know how soon. We also didn't even know if she would make it to the birth. That was up in the air for a while. And so there were so many unknowns that we carried and it was a grief. I know for me, not one day went by since finding out about her heart condition that I didn't like think about it. it's so weird to hold joy and grief at the same time. For those of you who've walked that journey, it's it's very disorienting. And I think it kind of carries the level of guilt because, you know, we obviously were so joyous to have a new baby. And we wanted this baby so bad. Like once we found out about her, we of course wanted her, you know, even though we didn't plan for her. And then at the same time, it's like, my gosh, she's in my room and she's sick. And there's nothing I can do to fix her. And Will she suffer? will she live a life of suffering or will she suffer in my womb? You know, we didn't know any of these answers. And so I do think that that pregnancy was probably for me the most emotionally difficult. But it was very physically difficult too. I remember feeling like every day carried a dark cloud over it. wondering would she die in my womb? And I've never walked through a pregnancy like that before. I've always held so much hope and like excitement. But this one was so different. And so leading up to her heart surgery, you know, we walked through many different trials with her. And we get to heart surgery, and I I feel like we've already overcome so much. Like the fact that she made it to her birth and she made it through all these surgeries. She made it through the NICU. Like you said, she was hospitalized again after the NICU. And she's just conquering, conquering, conquering. And then we get to the heart surgery. I just remember thinking. Like what if she doesn't make it through in all these like five and a half months were for nothing? Like all that conquering and then she just dies. You know, like what if she just dies and she doesn't conquer the heart surgery? Like what's the point? And I had to get so real with my faith, knowing even if she didn't make it through, which was a possibility, I mean she literally was going through open heart surgery, like even if can I still stand here? And say that God is still good. And that he is faithful. Will I even be able to do that? even though we had all these moments leading up to that, I don't think anything ever prepares you. And it's such a raw reality as a Christian. To face a potential loss. And and truly get to like the end of yourself. I mean those days were like a true it was like a hitting a wall. I think all of us hit a wall in our life and we have a few different options when we hit the wall. So what do we mean when we say like when we hit a wall? What what does that mean for our faith? Yeah, I really love this analogy, and I know you do too, The Critical Journey is a book that lays out a theory of spiritual development. And it's it's just a theory, truly. but I really have felt like it is the most accurate, comprehensive theory we have to date. And in this theory there's a stage called the wall. And the wall is kind of in the middle of the stages where early on you're excited in your faith, you're growing in your faith, you're getting involved, you're growing in community, and then you kind of start doing stuff. And then the wall is when we come to a difficult moment, a difficult question, it's this moment of you're either gonna go through it, but it's gonna be really, really, really difficult. Or you're gonna go bounce off the wall essentially. now that doesn't mean you're gonna go backwards. You could, in your faith journey. it also means that you may just kinda get stuck right there. Like it's this moment though where you won't grow and mature unless you go through the hard thing. And it's so important because as you were sharing. And you talked about getting to the end of yourself. And what makes a rooted follower of Jesus, I really believe, is somebody who goes through the wall and gets to the end of themselves. And there's there's so many of us, we all have these stories of probably where, we hit a question, we hit a wall, and we just kind of like, well. I don't really want to move by that. I don't wanna get past that. I don't wanna get through the hard thing. I'm just gonna like ignore this. I think this is where you get the idea of people who kinda laugh off their problem and just kinda keep moving. Or like escaping. Just escape that. Escaping is another distraction, right? Is another way of of responding. It's how we get through the hard time. But when we distract or escape, we don't actually overcome. We don't actually grow our roots any deeper. We just get stuck there and let time or things happen. but we don't ever, as you said, like get to the end of ourself. But on the other side of that wall is where the beautiful personal relationship with Jesus grows so much deeper. And the wall can be our circumstances. I mean, that's it like an easy, obvious moment, but the wall can also just be our own personal sin issues. It can be a sin we've created, it could be a sin that we were a victim to Where we just keep trying to move around it instead of really what God calls us to do is is to go through it. Yeah. And these moments are like the moment of heart surgery is just a moment where you're there. it almost forces you to go through the wall. I think that's part of what made it so painful We couldn't avoid it. You can't avoid it. you have to Bring your child to the pre op room. You have to say goodbye. Say goodbye. You have to talk to the doctors and and watch her go down the hall. You have to go to the waiting room and you have to wait there and until it's over and wait for an outcome and then respond to that outcome. But all of that is like this is a forced moment of going through something extremely hard. Well, I think too, one way that we could have chosen to not walk through the wall with the heart surgery would have been like you and I remaining emotionally distant to each other. And one thing I think you and I did Really well through the process was continuously asking each other, How are you doing? What are your thoughts? You know, how is your faith? I remember the question people asked a lot in that season was How are you really doing? people wanted to really know, like, how are you really doing? Which I appreciated. there were a couple of friends that really wanted wanted to know our deep inner feelings. And I appreciated that space to really like really raw share. And at the same time, I remember thinking, I feel so faithful that the Lord is carrying her. I feel very sure that that he's going to be right there in that that surgery room with her. at the same time, I I had zero idea what the outcome would be. And so it was this interesting mix of emotions. And I would just tell people, I said, you know what? I'm literally just facing it head on. I'm not ever letting a day go by that I'm just not letting myself face it. And I remember I'm not really a big crier, but this podcast, clearly, I cry on those podcasts. And the last year, I have probably cried more than my whole life. And I don't know if that's like a resistance of the wall or me trying to be strong, you know, who knows? But I remember even during her Nikki days of like if a really crummy feeling was happening in my body, whether it was fear or anxiety or feeling like numb and depressed or whatever. I truly just let myself feel it and call it out by name. Like this is what I'm feeling. I journal it. And then I just walk through it. And when you have a Nikki baby, you have to do that over and over and over again. anyways, I think about those days we were in Denver a couple days before her heart surgery because we had to be there for a pre-op. you and I really did our best to just stay in it, to face it head on. Like we were not trying to escape. We weren't sitting on our phone for a couple of days just mindlessly scrolling. We were not distant from each other. I remember the morning of and the night before, we are both in the word. We are both praying. I think those things matter when you're walking through the wall is like your willingness to face the hard head on. And I think a lot of people are not willing to do that. They're so scared of the ugly and the messy. And they're even maybe more scared of the healing. I think there's a lot of truth to what you said there. And l you know, I count my blessings that we had each other. You know, there's a lot of people who who don't have a a solid partner with them. Yeah. And if you do, I think it's important to remember in these moments that you have to help each other through it. Yeah. You know, we weren't perfect, we both had moments we probably did open our phones and were distracted and, you know, were seeking like a a temporary temporary fix or temporary escapes. And we needed each other to say to the other person, Hey, let's do something else right now because you know, that's probably not the best thing for us. And so we definitely had a lot of grace for each other, but also a lot of mutual encouragement. another thing that we didn't mention was that my parents were in Pagosa Springs, our hometown. with the other six kids during this. And so it really was special time for you and I and just Darla. And so the day leading up to heart surgery, so this is like the day before, We were enjoying time together. I remember us going to bed that night. For me, it was really hard to sleep. I don't know how it was for you, but I just remember I felt like I was up all night just thinking about it. and we were staying at the Ronald McDonald House, which in our other episodes we talked a lot about the amazing gift the Ronald McDonald House has been to us in Denver. And so they have this sitting area, sitting room that almost is like a living room. And I remember you and I both woke up early that morning of surgery, because we had to be at the hospital pretty early. And we went and just spent time in the Word. I know I read the book of Philippians. Do you remember that? what were your true emotions leading up to the surgery? Yeah, waking up that morning, I mean there's definitely a lot of I guess call it adrenaline of, you know, a mix of nerves, a mix of wow, we're finally here, a mix of okay, Lord, I'm I'm trusting that you're gonna carry her through this. And, you know, maybe some of those moments where we almost have to convince ourselves, right? Because deep down, you know, you have this this fear, if you're being really honest, that is sitting underneath. And so you're you're just kind of fighting some of those those thoughts and those those battles, but at the same time a lot of those had been worked through, like this had been almost a year of anticipation. So all the thoughts were thoughts that had been occurring already. They were thoughts that had already been prayed over, had been thought through, had really been trying to find the Lord's truth in in them ahead of time. And so I feel like a lot of those, you know, kind of battles had been waged. So it wasn't this full fledged, like, we're ready, everything's gonna be amazing, let's get after it. but I would say it wasn't despair or complete fear. It was kind of this middle ground of like, I'm ready to to go through this today. Yeah. But I know it's not gonna be an easy day. I just remember this strange mix of ready but still fearful that, you know, what if it all work out? I would love to hear though. What were some of the things that you were you were feeling or going through? Yeah, so I I felt very prompted to read the book of Philippians and there were some truths that I pulled out from reading. It's a very short book of the Bible. You can read it in one sitting. And I would encourage you to do so if you are walking through a time of suffering or hardship. It is such an encouraging book. And I was encouraged reading it before her heart surgery. And so here are some truths that I pulled out. And some things that I just jotted down in my journal. So here are some truths from Philippians. in four four it says, we must rejoice in the Lord always. In four seven, the peace of Christ that surpasses all understanding will guard my heart and mind. In Philippians three ten, we join Christ in his suffering, so that we also join him in the resurrection. Philippians 3 14, mature believers look forward to what lies ahead, our ultimate prize, which is in heaven. 321, our earthly bodies are wasting away. But we can look forward to the renewed and restored bodies you will have in heaven. 320, our citizenship is in heaven. 121, To live is Christ, to die is gain. 312, Christ Jesus has made me his own. 411. We can learn to be content in any situation. And 413, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And so I just said that I will keep my eyes fixed on Jesus today as we anticipate tomorrow. I trust that the Lord is with us. He is the reason I can have hope, faith, and joy. So praise be to him and all glory to God. I would surely be a wreck without the Lord comforting me. I will rejoice in the Lord always. I think what's really beautiful about that, and I can say this from watching you and and spending these moments together ahead of time, especially as we went through that day, and now we arrive at the next morning and we're we're in the hospital and they You know, we check in and they take us down to some room, I don't even know where. And you're in this like prep room where she's up on this bed and she's all happy and giggly and rolling around and you know, you it felt like sitting in there waiting, and we had to dress her in the gown and you know, just kind of waiting for a little while. And I think there's really walking through these moments and then there's fake walking through these moments. And what I mean by that is well, you can open those passages of scripture and just say them almost trying to trick yourself into believing these things are true. But deep down you haven't really believed them. Like they're not really ingrained in your heart. To me, there's a difference of just saying it, but not really knowing it in your gut to be true. And I think we have to come back to like getting to the end of yourself is saying, acknowledging, feeling, knowing, here's the pain I'm carrying, here's the fear I'm carrying, Lord. Here is all of this. now that I've got it out there, I felt it, I have acknowledged it, it's real, it's human, it's genuine. I am still going to turn and believe those truths that he speaks over us. And I think that's the key difference because then When they come in and they're in those final moments of you know, giving us the final prep. I remember we were talking to the anesthesiologist and when they say, Okay, it's time to say goodbye, we have to take her now. there's this physical, like literally holding her hands, giving her your last kisses, and having to let go as they wheeled her out of the room and you're left there. Like literally we were just left alone. That nobody is in the room. And they were they were very kind. They said, Hey, you can stay here as long as you want, you know, go down the hallway whenever you feel like you're ready. But they leave. And she's gone. And I think in those moments, I I could just have seen how someone totally understandably who hadn't gotten to the end of themselves could in that moment yeah just crumble because you know, did did you really allow God in to do the work deep in your soul before that moment? I think if you if you kind of fake your way into it, the wall will hit you and it will knock your teeth out. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's where we see Christians who who will walk away from their faith during the hard time because They almost don't give themselves her permission to wrestle with these very uncomfortable questions. You know, like I was sharing earlier through my tears, okay, I got to the question of okay, if God literally does not save my baby, if she does not make it through heart surgery, will I be able to stand and say? And that's a hard question. Like, none of us as believers want to even admit that. There's a possibility we could say he's not faithful or he's he's not good. And so I think that's what we're trying to get at is that it is so healthy, it is so good to allow yourself to walk through the hard thing and face all the messiness of it. Even if your questions are not like what you think should be asked in the church. God can handle it, He can handle. anything that is what you would think an egregious question or you know even if it has you know language in it that you normally don't use whatever you bring to the father at his feet he is right there ready to hear it and to walk with you through it and I think that when we don't allow ourselves to just face it sometimes the hard things in life really can uproot us Like let people wrestle with God. Yeah. And you can't. You can't fix it. you can't walk into that moment. And I think that's just a healthy thing to learn. if you're trying to help somebody on the front end, like on this case where you know something's coming, I think that was one of the best gifts God ever gave us was just this chance to walk with Him and be real with Him and raw and authentic. Yeah. Can I ask you something? When was the last time you actually felt at peace? Not just productive, not just caught up, but settled. Because most of us aren't lacking desire for a slower, deeper life, we're just stuck in the busyness that keeps us rushing right past it. That's why we created the Slow and Savor Society. It's a snail mail club. Yes, it comes straight to your mailbox. It's a simple, tangible way to slow down each month with a piece of art, a cozy recipe, and a letter designed to help you reconnect with what actually matters, with God, with your family, and with your own soul. if your life has felt full, but not meaningful. This is your invitation to begin again. You can learn more or join us at legacyrootsco.com slash Mel Club. And right now, if you use Code Podcast, you'll get 50 % off your first month so you can try it out. Now back to the episode. share with us because I I kind of remember these moments too, but what was it like when Darla was wheeled away from us and you literally had to let go of her? Yes. I mean, I remember just a flood of peace. the surgeon had walked in, you know, moments before she t was talking to us. And I remember she picked up Darla. And she was snuggling her. And I just knew in my heart, I'm like, she is the right woman for this job. She wasn't there to just fix Darla's heart. she was loving on our baby. And I know not all surgeons do that. Like, not every doctor has great bedside manner. But she was right there with us. I mean, she gave us the confidence. I mean, at this point, there were Thousands of people praying over the surgery, praying over her hands, the surgeon's hands, the team. even the anesthesiologist was so amazing, so personable. And I felt like there was nothing else to do except trust. Yeah, and I remember that moment that it was almost like God giving us like a little like wink, this everything will be okay. And like a a gift. It felt like a real gift, a blessed assurance. in that moment. And that I mean that was right as she was about to go out the door. I think about to Philippians one twenty-one, to live as Christ, to die as gain. And I think when I say I came to the end of myself, I came to a full realization that this life is temporary for all of us. Whether we have five months on this earth or we have, you know, ninety-five years on this earth. All of us will face the end here on earth. And every single moment we have here is a true gift. But even greater than that, the scripture says to die is gain. And so for me, I came to this full realization that if she were to not come back, like as I was saying goodbye to her, if this was the end of her life, she would pass on that operating table, I knew there was something greater. I was a hundred percent sure of that. There was something greater for her. And I was okay with that. And I think that's for me, that's the piece. It wasn't this like even confidence knowing 100% she was coming back to us. But I think that I was so encouraged in my spirit that our bodies here on earth were so temporary, but There is something greater for all of us. we are all going to be restored. forever with Jesus. And so if that was for her after five months, I was going to be so grateful to have five months with her. And if the Lord was so kind enough to let us keep her, I knew that we would also be so grateful to have many more months and years with her. And so I think that's where our faith truly takes over because it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense to let your baby go to open heart surgery and be okay with it. But I remember you and I sat in that waiting room for six plus hours and someone from the surgery team would come out every hour and update us, which was a true gift. But you and I, we really did carry such a piece that day. We had confidence in who God was, his kindness, his ability to just hold, hold Darla in that room. And I was so confident the Holy Spirit was just surrounding that room. Yeah. I think we can all have that kind of peace walking through the unknown. if we're so sure that his goodness isn't always in the miracle, that his goodness is beyond this earth. His faithfulness is beyond this earth. It's not just in the healing here on earth. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus says, why do you worry? Like you won't add an hour to your life and you won't add an hour to her life. I I remember when we were in the waiting room. I mean, yeah, of course you're like anticipating the next update. That was definitely true. but at the same time, I remember I think we had learned so much at this point. Like we got up and we left and we went and got some coffee at one point. And I know that sounds so silly, but I can't tell you how many people could just sit there staring at the door, waiting on pins and needles the whole time. Yeah. Which, as Jesus said, is like that that's just not it's not helping you. No. In fact, it's it's keeping you locked in and enslaved to worry and fear and doubt. And we could walk out of that waiting room. Yeah. And have faith that we could go get some lunch and that the Lord still had her. There was nothing we could do sitting there. Like it couldn't make the surgery go any better. Yeah. We even pulled out a board game at one point. We played a game. And that's the kind of the weird part of it is how can you find the moments of joy? those little beautiful moments amidst your hard circumstance, because they're always there. God is always doing something beautiful in the hard thing. It's our choice to look for that and to choose it. We could have sat there in like a depressed cloud the whole six hours or more, however long it was, and just Yeah, gripped the chair and lived an anxious mess. And I think a lot of people live their lives that way in general. And when we do that, we miss all the good things God is doing. Yeah. Yeah. So to encourage you, if you're hearing the story and you're like, yeah, that's how I I feel when I'm in those moments, I think what we're trying to help and encourage you through right now and say that you can reflect on the hard things you've been through because you have been through hard things just like we have. Like our story is not more unique than anyone else's story. If you have been through hard things in the past and you're thinking right now, wow, I'm feeling like I wish I would have moved through them differently, or I felt panicked or scared or so worried the whole time. I think what we're trying to just encourage you today is we learned from our prior experience. And we took a moment to reflect on those so that this experience was different. And that's our encouragement to you today is anyone can do that. If you're listening to this, draw from what you have been through, draw from what the Lord has taught you and open your heart, truly, open your heart to the darkest depths, the hardest things, and allow him to just walk with you through those. I I love those those Psalms. I think we've talked about this and how these are these are prayers over allowing the Lord to work through us. And I think there's something about when we genuinely pray these and when we genuinely feel these and the strength that comes from allowing God to do the real raw inner work in us. And I just want to say this is so true. I was reflecting on this with a friend that we had over the other night for dinner. He also has had open heart surgery and he's only in his forties. and he's had multiple open heart surgeries. So we celebrated his heart diversary with Darla's. but we were having this beautiful conversation around how so many people we meet, especially out west, are carrying brokenness and you can feel it and you can you can see it as you spend time with them. and these people have genuine faith in the Lord, but you can tell that they haven't let him in to the deepest part of their soul for for this healing. Or they haven't worked through the wall. And they haven't worked yeah that's the perfect way to say it. But now what I hope you hear us say is when you've worked through that wall Which is the work that only you can do with God. No one else can do it for you. You can read a a psalm like Psalm 91, which was a psalm our children were memorizing at school through this season. And it says, He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. And so I think what the psalm says here in the beginning is what we're getting at. He who dwells in the shelter of the most high. And when we when we go around or we live distracted or we look for escapes, we're choosing not to dwell in the shadow of the most high. We're choosing to be like outside the temple. like we're choosing to be on the outskirts. We're choosing to hide in the alley or hide in our house somewhere. But to actually approach the temple, to dwell in the shelter of God, actually requires us to get close to Him. And the gift that Dharla's story has given us, I hope you've heard through these things, is that It was the opportunity for us to dwell in the Lord. And the difference on the other side of that is just a beautiful story that only he could write. Yeah. And people look at us like, you're strong, or you have patience, or like you have such big faith. It's you have such big faith. But the truth is that only comes on the other side of moving through a wall. Yeah. And I wouldn't say it was because of what we did. It would say because it was the work of the Lord in us. His grace. His grace. That's such a beautiful way to say it. And I think that's the right way to say it. then you can turn and say, God is so good. Yeah. Not because of the outcome of any circumstance, but because of the transformation. He brought through his grace through the circumstance. And so that's like our encouragement to you today because we see this and our heart aches for those who are just not creating space for for his grace to enter in. Yeah. I think that's where the power of rhythms really comes into play because that's what makes all this practical. If you are somebody who is like, I want to go deeper, I want to know God more, I want to be stronger in my faith. I just don't know how to get there. Rhythms really do support that because I think about a couple key rhythms for us in this season, and still today are key, are the Sabbath and our quiet morning time with the Lord. Those two rhythms I think people avoid. Because God does bring up hard things when we're quiet and when we make space to do nothing productive. And everything you're saying is so good and so true. That dwelling in God's shadow and under his wing, really allowing ourselves to abide in him. And when we take time for the Sabbath. when we have a daily morning rhythm where we are just sitting with God, like I call it coffee with God because I literally just sit on the couch and watch the sun come up with my cup of coffee. And I just sit there talking to God and I don't have to be reading, I don't have to be journaling. There's nothing I have to be doing. I'm just sitting and talking with God or just just sitting there, like literally not even talking, just sitting there with him. And though in those moments, there are some days that God brings up. some hard things to think about and to process. And when we have rhythms in our life, It's a set apart time. To just abide with the Father. Yeah. And let him do the work in us. I think so many of us are un Healed in many areas of our life because we simply are not creating the space and the margin to let God do the healing. And we all would be a little bit more freer in our life, in our walk with the Lord, if we create these very intentional rhythms to just be with God. Yeah, what we're practically calling out is that, when you chose to follow Jesus, that and this is probably like let's call this the the problem of megachurch, but I'm not I'm not knocking it. It's just the reality church culture for a long time when we were coming up into the church was You know, get everybody to say yes, get yeses to Jesus, you know, come in the doors, attract, get in. And for many of us that was awesome and important. So it's not to knock any of those moments at all. But I think a lot of the problems that we face today as Christians are I said yes to Jesus, so now immediately all this transformation should just happen. Should just happen. Yeah. And that's not how life works. That's not how God works. No. And then I think you have this beautiful resurgence and reality calling out of like, like that's not actually a deep relationship with the Lord. That doesn't actually foster it's step one in a deep relationship with the Lord, but it it's not it's not actually arriving at anything meaningful yet. And so I think that It's important that we take these moments. this is what getting to know God is all about. This is what the scriptures are about. rhythms are what create that on a regular basis. So our soul knows what it means to be tethered to the Lord. And then when we walk through these moments, we just walk through them differently because we're already tethered in. That's our encouragement today is you don't have to wait for the next hard moment. God is waiting for you. He is he's longing to be in a relationship with you. And not just that you said yes to Jesus, but to have you know him to the depth of your core. Yeah. And that doesn't have to happen in hard times. Though hard times definitely are important and they accelerate some of that, but there's a beauty in the daily before. Yeah. We had already leverage hard things in our marriage in growth from those. We'd leverage hard things before we were married and healing in those areas. And we had leveraged other just seemingly unrelated difficult times. But each of those moments can bring us closer to Jesus. And so when we came to these moments with Darla, being in that moment of that surgery Like that was years and years and years of following Jesus on a regular rhythmic basis. And that rhythm didn't change leading up to her surgery the day of. And, you know, beautifully it didn't change after her surgery. I mean, walk us through when the surgeon came to see us. Like she actually came to see us. I don't know if that always happens. Yeah. s and I remember being surprised when she walked in the room because I don't think we were anticipating her to come out and see us. And I I don't know why I remember this, but I remember we were eating a cookie. And we were like in the middle of passing a cookie or splitting a cookie in half. I feel like and it could have been one of two things, right? the surgeon comes out and you're like, crap. Yeah. You know, there was a mixture of emotions there. But you know, praise God she came out, she shared with a smile on her face that the surgery was a a success and that she was able to do for the most part what she wanted to do. And there are things that we still have to watch with her heart, and she most likely will need another open heart surgery at some point in her childhood. but the surgery as to what she wanted to do, the surgeon, it was successful. And we We give all glory to God and we are so grateful to Him for how He carried her through it. And we to this day now, we just celebrated the one year of her having open heart surgery. And we we got to celebrate her a couple of days ago with a little heart cake and like you shared with our friend who also has had open heart surgery, and it was just such a moment of celebration of wow, look how far God has taken our family. Look at how far he has brought Darla in her her life and how he continues to use her story to fan the flame of faith in so many people's lives. And you look at Darla and you think most people will say she looks so good. I mean, truly, she always has a smile on her face. She has roles now, she looks like a like a healthy weight. She just started walking. she is signing, she's learning ASL It's amazing. She knows more than like 50 signs. we recently learned that she has a a severe hearing loss. And so our whole family right now is learning sign language for Darla and her life, it is it is without question. It is a gift. And I think what I have come to realize through all of this is that no matter how many months we have with her or with any of our children, this life is a true gift. None of us are promised tomorrow, not one of us, even us who don't have heart conditions or any kind of medical condition, we all have the gift of today and we cherish that. And We're going to continue to do the right things for Darla. You know, her story doesn't end here. We as a family have committed to learning American Sign Language so that we can give her the gift of language. And we are committed to a hundred percent speaking this language together as a family so that she can thrive and that she never walks into a room in our home that she can't. be a part of the conversation. I think that we have seen our children grow, like through this entire story of Darla and her life, all the surgeries, you know, living far apart for months and months and months while she was in the hospital. we've watched our children, their faith deepen in a way that only challenges can deepen our faith. I mean, a big praise is that this summer. just a few months ago, four of our children, our four oldest children, decided to be baptized. And they stood in front of our church and shared their testimony. And they even spoke in private with our pastor. And I don't know about you, but I was so overwhelmed and so amazed at how all four of them expressed that walking through this trial with Darla, watching their sister suffer. That it was the reason that they have a deep faith in Jesus because they were talking to Jesus. one of our kiddos, Ella, she had said specifically, like she started talking to God more frequently through Darla's suffering. And that is such a gift. You know, we want to protect our children from suffering, we want to protect our children from the hard things. But I look back and I'm like, wow, Lord, you use that. You use Darla's trial to be a a relationship builder with her siblings. And it was because of Darla that we have other kids who who genuinely love Jesus. And perhaps they would not have been brought to the end of themselves if they didn't walk through this at such a young age. Yeah. Yeah. What we learned through all of this was really what's in Romans five. a lesson that you know it's there in scripture, but now looking back we can see the beauty that it it really produced. So we'll leave you with this today. It says in Romans five verse three, not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings. Knowing that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character and character produces hope. And hope does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Amen. I hope that you were encouraged today by Darla's story. We share this humbly. And we know that you are walking through your own trials. And so we hope that you feel encouraged to keep fighting the good fight and to continue seeking and fixing your eyes on Jesus through it all. And that you would just experience more and more of him through the hardships and the and the hard times and the trials of this life. And I really want to encourage you today, taking the moments to focus, to give yourself a moment to spend time with Jesus and really reflect just we can't even begin to tell you how immensely valuable. And if you're looking for a a tool to help guide you through that. we want to encourage you to join the Slow and Saver Society. It is a beautiful gift every month that comes to you in a mail subscription. And one of the most amazing things I think you get that's gonna be different from any other subscription you can have is these journal prompts that encourage you to sit down and have a real authentic moment with the Lord. And while you have your painting in front of you, And you've created this space to to sit and just be with the Lord and reflect on him. There's these guided questions that really come from the depth of Kayla's soul, of of the longing for Jesus she has to continue to keep growing deeper with him and for the struggles that she has been through. So she knows what it is to go through hard things. And so She's giving you a moment, a gift to really spend time with the Lord and be real and raw in front of him. and so check out the Slow and Saver Society. we hope it's just a gift and a blessing onto you. It's I think it's also a perfect gift to gift to someone walking through suffering. I I think that anyone that's going through a hard moment, they need a little joy in their life. And I think receiving a Slow and Saver Society envelope. Is that like pop of joy in their mailbox with the painting that just helps them reflect on something good and beautiful in the journal prompts that help them go deeper and the letter from me that just encourages their soul. If you know somebody who is walking through a difficult time, you can give a gift subscription and encourage them today. So Thank you guys so much. We're so grateful that you're here and that you take the time to listen to our episodes. we can't wait to be back with you next week with another one. And we hope and pray that you spend some time with Jesus today to reflect on your own life and all that he has brought you through and that he is bringing you through. We'll see you next time. Bye now.