Latest / Dear Chelsea / Changing Your Frequency with Ron Funches

Transcript

Changing Your Frequency with Ron Funches · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, Hello listeners. It's Chelsea hand Job and Catherine.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Hi.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: We're sitting in my new house actually with a new setup,
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: with a new setup. We're trying to make a new setup.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: Everything's everything's a work in progress here.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: It's true.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I'm here in town. I've been here for two days.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: It's crazy.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: What was the same place for two whole days?
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Two old days.
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: Tomorrow I'm going to Auburn, Washington to the Muckleshoot Casino
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: to perform. And then Friday night I have a show
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: and Santa Rosa at the Luther Burbank Center for the Arts.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: There's still tickets for that show.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: And then Santa Barbara Bawls August seventeenth, there are still
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: tickets for that show. And then my Vegas residency starts
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: on September first.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: How exciting.
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: Oh September first, November two, and November thirtieth on my
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: first three dates.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Excellent.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: So yeah, we're taking all my friends are trying to
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: turn it into a big party. I'll bet, so that's fun.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: My friend Karen who runs my life, was like, they
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: want to know if you're bringing Doug to Vegas.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't really see that happening.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: Why would Doug want to go to Vegas just to
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: urinate inside the hotel room. Maybe, but he's not interested
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: in going to Vegas, so I mean he's interested in me,
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: so that's good enough. But yeah, I'm not gonna put
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: him in that heat. That would be abusive. And everyone
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: knows how professional I am as a dog owner. They
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: may take drugs accidentally once in a while, but I
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: do not abuse these dogs.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Okay, it's not intentional.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: No, nothing is intentional, Chelsea.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: We have a really exciting guest today.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: I know he's really funny and he has a very
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: very funny delivery. We've been having a lot of comedians
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: on because it's more fun, I think, Yeah, but we
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: still keep it mixed up. We have a really cool
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: doctor coming up that I'm excited about, whose book.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: I want to read.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: But today our guest has a podcast called Getting Better
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: and he is always on a constant journey to better himself.
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: So I love when a male comics are up to that.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: And his TV show Loot isn't its second season which
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: now streams on Apple TV Plus. So please welcome actor
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: and stand up ron Funches. Okay, we're here with mister
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Funches himself, mister Ron Funches is sitting right next to
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: me in my studio, face to face in what Sherman Oaks?
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Is that where we are with the area.
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: I used to live in this area. I'm very familiar
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: with this area.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: How build up this community?
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: I love this community. I love going to show my
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: nose Castle Park. If you're looking for a good way
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: to spend the day playing mini.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Golf, Oh are you good at mini golf?
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: I'm getting way better, way better than.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Hey, Catherine.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: I can hear those pages turning very loudly for some
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: reason in my ear.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: It's like a M S A R. What's it called?
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: A ms r ASSM? What is a ms r asm automatic?
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: Psycho Suki? Do you like that?
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: A M S R ASMR No?
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: I think it's gross. I don't like it.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Isn't it so weird? What everyone's into these days?
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: Like when people want to hear the sound of food
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: being chewed and certain types of food being cooked, You're like.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: What, Yeah, a lot of kinks, a lot of weird, right, have.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: Time to come up with kinks like that? Me sitting
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: around like what the fuck can I think about next?
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: And it's like I want to hear eggs hitting a
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: frying fan.
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: I'm just stick to butts and boobs. I'm not I'm
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: cool with that.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: How are buts and boobs working out for you?
• 3:04
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: You know? It depends on the day.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know what you're saying.
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: Sometimes you're happy with them, sometimes you're like they're going
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: to be the Definitely.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Have you been in a long term relationship?
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: I have. I've been married twice.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: How long was each marriage?
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: One marriage was seven years and the other marriage was
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: two years?
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Okay, so seven years and two years? And would you
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: get married for a third time?
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: I don't think so.
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: I don't think so either. Quite frankly, I think you
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: might need to put a pin in it, Like, if
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: you can't figure it out twice, don't try the third time. Right,
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: it's embarrassing when people have more than.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Two ex wives, I think so. I mean two ex
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: wives isn't not embarrassing?
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: No, I don't. If anything, it makes me feel like
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: old school wealthy.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: Oh oh right, right, yeah I can see that. Yeah
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: that's exactly what I thought when you said that.
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, like an oil bear.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: What a mollifluous sounding voice you have. Thank you yes,
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: very you should do good night stories like on Calm, like.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: That that meditation app. Do you meditate?
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: Yes?
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Oh really, but I can.
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: I have a room for it. I don't use it.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: You have a whole meditation room that you don't use.
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: I'm doing well. I have two xyves.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, well that meditation is paying off, right, they're
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: both meditating.
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: I bet.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so you do meditate? Oh okay, I thought you
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: were against meditation.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: No reason.
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: Do you see the tassels on my shoe?
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Oh I know.
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: I thought that I'm gonna meditate?
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, so that anytime it could happen.
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: Now, how did you get in touch with yourself to
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: start meditating?
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: Okay? Like my spiritual side where it does come from?
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: Probably living in Oregon. I moved around Oregon a bunch.
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: And if you do that, you're gonna meet a lot
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: of hippie women, wicking women, and people who do tarot
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: and crystals, and if you want to sleep with them,
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: you're going to be open and listen. Yeah.
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I usually you have to be open for sure
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: if you want to sleep with people.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't be closed off.
• 4:54
  Speaker 6: No, it doesn't work maybe once, yeah, yeah, but I'm
• 4:58
  Speaker 6: not you know, I'm not the like one night stand,
• 5:01
  Speaker 6: So I'm a charmer.
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: I got get you in and then you'd never want
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: to leave.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: It takes time, though, to get the girl to come in. Right.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: How long do you think it takes you to get
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: a woman to start to understand that it's going to
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: be better with you?
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: About probably two weeks, maybe three dates, four dates? If
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: I get you on a fourth date. Yeah, you'll know.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: Rico Swase, I love it. Very confident in your own abilities.
• 5:28
  Speaker 6: Well, I just know I'm a good person and self aware. Yeah,
• 5:31
  Speaker 6: you could do a lot worse than me.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's how you got in touch with your
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: spirituality by hanging out with those women.
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's cool totally. I mean, a terror reading is
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: why I got started in comedy. I had always want
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: to do it. I did a terror reading on a
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: Halloween party and the reader was just like, you want
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: to work in entertainment, You're waiting for it to come
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: to you. You need to put into work. And it
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: really like shook me and I you know, didn't listen
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: for about another year, but then I did.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Oh wow, yeah I think that stuff. I got an
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: energy clearing yesterday and when I left there, I was like, yeah,
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: you know, some of the stuff was like I didn't
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: feel any sort of overwhelming feeling, like I didn't feel
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: like energy was being released or moving around my body.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: So I was disappointed on that aspect. But she had
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: done an energy clearing in my house, my new house,
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: and it needed one, so I thought she could do
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: an energy clearing on me too, And I was like,
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: I think all of that matters is that you have
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: to believe what you're doing, right, Like, in order for
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: it to have an effect on you in a positive way,
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: you need to believe that it's true.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: I'm a big believer in the power of your thoughts,
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: and that's what I don't really subscribe to negative self talk.
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: I think our minds are much more powerful than we
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: give them credit for. And if you can create your
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: reality with your mind, and so if you believe in
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: certain things, I think that they are more likely to
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: happen for you to be true.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Right. So you don't believe in negativity, right.
• 6:56
  Speaker 6: I do believe in negativity, Yeah, practicing it, I don't like, Yeah.
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: But it's there, I've seen it.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: But you don't believe in practicing negativity? Like, you're not
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: into negative patterns of behavior. What would you say to people?
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Because people listen to this podcast for like kind of
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: spiritual advice and regular life advice and like an outside perspective,
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: But one of the most common things is like, how
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: to get that negative voice out of your own head?
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: Not about other people, about yourself. Yeah, and what would
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: you say to that? How what has been your experience
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: with your negative voice?
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: Oh, you just have to be very on top of
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: it and just immediately self correct is what I tried
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: to do. For me. It mostly comes up with eating
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: and overeating or doing something that I was like, Oh,
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: I shouldn't have eaten that, and I'll find myself being like, oh,
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: you fat idiot, and then I'll stop myself and be like,
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: that's not going to make me feel better. You're working hard,
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: you're tired, you're beautiful, and you're worth the effort to
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: not have those things, and so you worth the effort
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: to go work out. So that's why you need to
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: do it, not because you're a big fat dummy, because
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: you're a beautiful, chubby stallion.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Yes, I love that. That's so cute.
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: That's great. That's great advice.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: For everybody, because you kind of have to start like
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: a love affair with yourself. Truly, you really have to
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: fall in love with yourself and be like, oh my god,
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: these are the best things about me.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: And when you feel like you're at your best and
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: you're pumping.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: High and like the vibes are flowing, you're like, oh,
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: there's no better, more grounded feeling than being like at
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: your best.
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So many people, I think, especially ladies that I know,
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: afraid to be selfish, and I think that it's always
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: given such a negative connotation. But I think taking care
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: of yourself, working out, putting your whatever quality things of
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: life that you need, like for me, like getting my
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: nails done, getting my feet done, And if you don't
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: do that, you don't have those selfish things for yourself,
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: you're not like able to do more for other people.
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: So I just believe you have to be selfish in
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: this world. Yeah, And sometimes we just put a negative
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: connotation on words that are actually good for us.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Right, I agree with that.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: Why do you think that women are particularly have such
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: a hard time being selfish?
• 9:10
  Speaker 5: Ah?
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: Because I think that culturally just always taught to give,
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: always taught to be a giver, always thought to be
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: a caretaker, look out for others before yourself.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you got a confuse You're like, is that a
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: maternal instinct or is that just societal standards that have
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: been established over millennia. Because there is a maternal instinct,
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: but there has got to be a paternal instinct as well,
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: which some men seem to have and some men don't.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Seem to happen. Oh for sure, do you have a
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: paternal instinct?
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I've spent most of my life being
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: a dad. I've been a dad for twenty years so
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: and I have a twenty one year old and a
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: two year old now, and my best part of my
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: life is being a dad because it's nice to have
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: someone who cares about the base level of what I do.
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: They care more about making sure I take care of him,
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: that I spend time with him, that I push him
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: on the swing. He doesn't care about like specials or
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: shows that I'm on or things like that. I think
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: that that having that base level of love and also
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: responsibility has been a big balance for me and I
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: appreciate that.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: And did it come naturally to you being paternal? Was
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: that a natural instinct of yours when you had both
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: of your children.
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: I don't know if I would call it natural. I
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: just think it was out of necessity, especially what my
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: older son. I had him so young, and it just
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: kind of shifted. Before I met him, I was just
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: kind of taking gravity bong hits and laying on floors
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: and not having any type of focus and just cruising
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: them through life. And he gave me focus. And then
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: eventually I had to get so custody of him when
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: he was an early teenager, and that I don't think
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: was as natural, where I had to kind of freak
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: out and figure out how I was going to balance
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: both trying to I mean, at that time, I just
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: started getting acting roles and stuff and figuring out how
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: I was going to do that and have him full
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: time and enroll him in school out here in LA
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: and stuff was very difficult, but I got help from
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: my mom and people.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: Wow, Yeah, that's tough stuff because you're doing like your
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: parenting for two people.
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, it is definitely, and it's always fun because
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: I think it's one of the most unassumed things when
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: it comes to male parenting. Whenever people who know I
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: have kids They're always are like, well, where where is
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: your older son? Like he's at home with me because
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: he lives with me, and I get it's not the normal,
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: but it's always seemed so dismissive when they're like just
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: when you were like, oh no, I'm to love being
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: a dad, and they just assume that means that I
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: see my son every two weeks or something.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Uh interesting.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and so what was your first big like what
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: do you remember your first big break in comedy being.
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: Conan O'Brien show, Just being on Conan grew up watching
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: Conan and loving his show and just did my first
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: set on that and hearing him laugh, hearing Andy laugh.
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: It was the first time I was like, oh I
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: can this is like my career. I could do this
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: for a career.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: It's a pretty awesome career.
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: I love it, well stand up.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: Alone, Like if you can make a living doing stand up,
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: it's amazing. Yeah.
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: I like it. I don't like the club stuff so
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: far or currently, just because of the again, my two sons.
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: So I'm trying to hopefully get into doing less work
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: for more money.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, who the fuck isn't I want to do
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: less work for more money.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm doing more work for less money.
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: It's how it seems to be going on. I don't know,
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: I don't like it.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: I'm hustling.
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, me too, a lot of hustle. Yeah it is.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: It doesn't really seem there's no end in sight.
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: No, you would, do you feel like you're headed towards something.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: I thought i'd be retired when I turned forty. I'm
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: forty nine and I'm now hustling as much as I
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: ever was.
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you just made me sad because I was like,
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: you're not retired, so there's no hope for me. Apparently
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: if you had a big old show, iconic and now
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: you're still working, guys, I gotta just give up that.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. I want to just sit on a
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: boat and let my skin fry.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's what I mentioned with just a bunch it
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: with my dog and some maybe a couple other people.
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: Okay, On that.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: Note, we're going to take a break and we'll be
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: right back with Rod Funshes.
• 13:21
  Speaker 7: Do you have what it takes to go through a
• 13:22
  Speaker 7: therapy session with Chelsea? We're looking for duos who would
• 13:25
  Speaker 7: like to join us for minisodes. That could be you
• 13:28
  Speaker 7: and a friend, your spouse, a co worker, a family member,
• 13:31
  Speaker 7: even your ex. We're looking for duos who have real
• 13:34
  Speaker 7: and occasionally lighthearted issues that they need to work out
• 13:37
  Speaker 7: in a therapy session with doctor Handler. Additionally, this week,
• 13:40
  Speaker 7: right in, if you have questions about fitness, it could
• 13:43
  Speaker 7: be something specific you're dealing with in your fitness routine,
• 13:46
  Speaker 7: how to maintain your motivation or get started with a new.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: Routine, or questions you have on a.
• 13:50
  Speaker 7: Deeper level about your physical health and fitness. Right into
• 13:53
  Speaker 7: Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: Com, and we're back with Ron funshes Oh quick break, Yeah,
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: that was a real quick break.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: Ready to take some questions.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: We are ready to take some questions.
• 14:03
  Speaker 6: Ron.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: When was do you remember meeting me?
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: I mean I feel like it was just on your show.
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: Was the first time I met oh and Chelsea lately?
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: Oh okay, because I don't remember us meetings. So I
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: was going to ask you. I just know you and
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: I don't know how we met.
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: No, I don't. I mean I could. I know that
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: because I see you sometimes around and you look at
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: me like you've never seen me in your las. Yeah,
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: I saw you at the Netflix brunch and you came
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: out of the car with Sarah Silverman, and then I
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: hugged Sarah and then you turned and you looked at me,
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: and then you just turned and walked away.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: That sounds about right.
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: It was right. It was highly accurate.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: That's how I say hello and goodbye.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: Speaking of making more money while doing less.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: That should be the name of this episode.
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: Ye.
• 14:48
  Speaker 7: Our first question comes from Sarah looking for a swift
• 14:52
  Speaker 7: kick in the ass, and I figured you were just
• 14:54
  Speaker 7: the bitch to do it. After twenty years together, I
• 14:56
  Speaker 7: recently discovered my husband has had a Snapchat girlfriend months
• 15:01
  Speaker 7: twenty months, twenty months like a toddler.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: I love affairs, so I just love to hear about him.
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: Come on and get mad.
• 15:10
  Speaker 7: He communicated with her daily if he a text or
• 15:12
  Speaker 7: a snap and although I asked him about it often,
• 15:15
  Speaker 7: many red flags were present.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: I just found out emotionally.
• 15:19
  Speaker 7: It's nice to finally get the truth and we are
• 15:21
  Speaker 7: moving toward a divorce. Financially, though I'm freaking out. I'm
• 15:25
  Speaker 7: not afraid to sacrifice or work hard. It just needs
• 15:28
  Speaker 7: some decent financial advice. I'm so annoyed with getting myself
• 15:31
  Speaker 7: into this situation in the first place. I have a
• 15:33
  Speaker 7: great lawyer, and I know I'll get child support and
• 15:36
  Speaker 7: a portion of his retirement. I just want to get
• 15:38
  Speaker 7: my power back by earning more money. I'll be a
• 15:41
  Speaker 7: third grade teacher next year and will be increasing my salary,
• 15:44
  Speaker 7: but I want to be more financially independent. Do any
• 15:46
  Speaker 7: of those TikTok trends work? I'm looking to make good
• 15:49
  Speaker 7: money as I don't.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Get paid in summer.
• 15:51
  Speaker 7: Oh my god, I have three daughters that are watching.
• 15:54
  Speaker 7: It's important I get this right. Sarah.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: Wow, it sounds like she wants to go on only
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: and is looking for someone to give.
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: Her the premission. Yeah, which I don't recommend. I feel
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: like the bottom is falling out on the OnlyFans economy.
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: If anything, I think she wants to be just a
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: true independent, high end escort that you can make good
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: money away from your home while having fun.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: Fun is for funches is the root word of funches
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: is fun?
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: Okay, Also, just invest some of her money. You know,
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: I'm going through the same thing, going through my divorce,
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: and I've tried to just hustle and work hard and
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: make as much money as possible. And then also, since
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: I work in our business, I'm investing in AI and
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: things that are trying to kill our business to hedge
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: my bets.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: Oh that's smart, very smart. I know I should be
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: better about investing. I'm just gonna bite me in the ass.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: I'm going to get some somebody to help me.
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: You're going through a very difficult divorce.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: You talk about it a lot on your podcast, right, Yeah,
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: So are you allowed to talk about a divorce while
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: it's happening?
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: I thought that were currently Yeah, until they tell me otherwise,
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: and as long as I say things that I have
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: text that I can back up.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: What what is the problem? Just just acrimonious divorce.
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: It just to you sometimes even though you were like okay,
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: I love this person jumping in at the end, then
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: you were like, oh wait a minute, not what I
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: thought this was. And we got a just fully men
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: in black neuralizer this whole thing and act like I
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: never met you in.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: My life life. Oh that's rough.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, that sounds like it will be a long
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: legal issue, especially if you continue talking about it.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Probably there's gotta be some about not talking.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: There isn't current legal cases or no, maybe not until
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: they tell you to stun right to give you a gaggod.
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: I can ask me, it's gonna go along no matter
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: what I say.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: It's yeah, yeah, right.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: So I'm sorry to hear that you seem to be
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: in good spirits though you don't let those things really
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: get you.
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: Down to it on occasion, I do, Yeah, if I
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: had a depression off of it from it, for sure.
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: It feels weird to talking about this recently with Andy Richter.
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: I think for everyone you have this thing you build
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: up like, Okay, I know what my next day is
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: going to be, like, I know what my next month
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: is going to be like. And for me, I was like, oh,
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: I hopefully I know what my next fifteen to fifteen
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: years is going to look like. And I'm gonna come
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: home and see my son and my wife, and I'm
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: gonna go out and do shows and be a fun dad.
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: And then you come and you realize like, oh, this
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: is not sustainable or possible to maintain, and it's you know,
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: it's like a death. So it's been very difficult. And
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: then you throw in and being like, oh did I
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: even maybe I was an idiot and I didn't do
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: enough research on this person and just believe the words
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: that they said instead of like, I guess, but it
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: feels weird to be like, maybe I need to google
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: everybody before you talk to them.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Does Google tell you that these people are like their
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: personalities aren't going to mesh with yours?
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Not really. That's actually what AI is going to hopefully
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: be good for.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: It could be a better predictor of the future, you know,
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: based on past events, because that's what we're really missing.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: We need to know be able to tell the future,
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: that's what we're missing in society. If that would calm
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: a lot of people down or rile a lot of
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: people up, Yeah, and even split, I would say, would
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: you want to know.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: What's about to happen? Would you want to know that?
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: I mean, I guess that's why I do terror readings,
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: so sure, yeah, but.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: You want to hint, you know what I mean? That's
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: more of like not foreboding.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: But that's like a carrot you know, like a little
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: carrot stick saying like, oh, good things could be coming
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: down the pike.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: It's not definite, but it's a possibility.
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, But else tells you bad things are common?
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: Does I never get anything bad? They never tell me
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: anything bad?
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: But I don't know if you're using a person.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Maybe I just don't have any bad vibes.
• 19:39
  Speaker 7: I know the person that you use gave very bad
• 19:41
  Speaker 7: news to one of my friends. Okay, he told her
• 19:43
  Speaker 7: she's going to break both of her ankles during her lifetime.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: Wonderful, that's a really nicetime.
• 19:48
  Speaker 7: I know. At the same time, that's too long to know,
• 19:52
  Speaker 7: it's too long.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: It's too long.
• 19:54
  Speaker 7: So she feels like she can't do anything fun or risky.
• 19:56
  Speaker 7: I'm like, I would do everything fun and risky.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: I would do it, go overweight, break away, and then
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: like yeah.
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: Then she breaks her wrists and she's like, oh shit,
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: I'm still good.
• 20:08
  Speaker 7: But so first, Sarah, I feel like, you know, she
• 20:11
  Speaker 7: said she doesn't work during the summers because she's a teacher.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: I feel like the obvious answers, go get a summer job.
• 20:16
  Speaker 7: But Ron, I wonder if you have some wisdom around,
• 20:18
  Speaker 7: like balancing spending some of that time with her kids
• 20:21
  Speaker 7: versus making a little extra cash during the summer. If
• 20:23
  Speaker 7: she like goes and gets a job, what should she prioritize?
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: Well, I think you you gotta first of all, slow
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: down and then realize what you're going to get accurately
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: from your lawyers, you know, so you can pay a
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: little bit financially knowing what you're gonna get. And then
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: I think especially I don't know how old those kids are,
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: but they sound at least that they would be able
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: to know what's going on, So I think they certainly
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: would need some time together and maybe a little bit
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: more of a focus on them as opposed to there's
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: more ways to take care of your kids besides just
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: making sure that they have everything that they need finance anciently,
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: you also need to be there for them mentally and
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: make sure that they know through this transition that they're
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: taking care of and that they're the priorities for both
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: of you.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean the same thing.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: I would say that, like this is kind of a
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: sensitive time in your life that you want to be
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: there for your kids in a transitional period. So while
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: you are excited about making more money, like just hold
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: on a second, slow down, like Ron said, you know,
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: and make sure your kids are okay, and then once
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: you know that they are and that they feel safe
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: and secure, then you can go off and get another job.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: But how I think she was asking what that job is.
• 21:36
  Speaker 7: Going to be Yeah, I feel like waiting tables is
• 21:38
  Speaker 7: a good way to like she can work a couple
• 21:40
  Speaker 7: days a week and like make some bank.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Just go wait.
• 21:42
  Speaker 7: Tables at like the most expensive restaurant you can find
• 21:45
  Speaker 7: in your town.
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: Well, also, I feel like we got we nobody even
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: taken any time for actual grief here. And that's one
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: thing that I know. I fell into that track because
• 21:56
  Speaker 4: I was the saying thing. I'm like, oh, I'm not
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: going to get my standard of live in. I'm going
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: to work and work and fill these things up. And
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: then that grief hits you like a ton of bricks
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: and you're in a hotel eating two foot long subway
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: sandwich is crying and you you don't want to be there.
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: I mean, it's not it's fun. Now that I said it,
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: it kind of sounds so delicious. Yeah, it doesn't sound
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: too bad. But you know, you're not a robot, so
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: you gotta have some time for yourself as well and
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: be okay with the grief process.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so okay, good luck. We'll tell her to fill
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: us in with whatever whatever does happen. I want to
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: know we'd like an update. I love updates because you know,
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: when people it's nice when people right back in and
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: say they did whatever we told them to do or
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: they do whatever.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: It's so nice when people change their lives.
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: I love. Yeah.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: I love to have people get stuck, don't you think?
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, my podcast we do that a lot. People were like, oh,
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: I want started therapy or got out of a toxic relationship,
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: or a guy told me he didn't kill himself, and
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: I was like, that's.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Nice, Wow, changing lives.
• 23:02
  Speaker 7: We had one of those where you know it, Chelsea
• 23:05
  Speaker 7: recommends gratitude journaling a lot, and this person was like,
• 23:08
  Speaker 7: I was at my lowest. Things were really terrible, and
• 23:10
  Speaker 7: I like started gratitude journaling that weekend and it basically
• 23:14
  Speaker 7: saved me.
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: Oh I've been doing it. Yeah, before bed and in
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: the morning when I stress out wondering about my own stuff.
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: I used to be like, wait, what am I thankful for?
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: What am I grateful for? Didn't you do these five things?
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: And then it calms me down. It work.
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: Do you write the full sentence I am grateful for
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: a grapefruit? Or do you write like, make a list.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: I have read the list.
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: I'm a list guy.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm going to start doing the list because I
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: am grateful writing at fifty times in the morning is
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: fucking annoying. Yeah, I want to write it once and
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: then write everything get excited about what I'm grateful for.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: But it does change your frequency for sure, gratitude journaling,
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: which is a sentence I never thought would come out
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: of my mouth.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: What's next, Catherine?
• 23:54
  Speaker 7: Our next question comes from Sam Sam Jay, not Sam Jay,
• 23:58
  Speaker 7: although we're Sam Jay soon. Oh good, Sam, says, Dear Chelsea,
• 24:04
  Speaker 7: I'm a twenty six year old man gay, but I
• 24:07
  Speaker 7: realized that's a given since I'm writing into the fucking
• 24:09
  Speaker 7: Chelsea Handler podcast. My boyfriend thirty two, and I have
• 24:12
  Speaker 7: been together over a year now, and for about the
• 24:14
  Speaker 7: first seven months, our sex life was everything. We had
• 24:18
  Speaker 7: great physical chemistry, had similar sex drives, mine was probably more,
• 24:22
  Speaker 7: and we couldn't get enough of each other. I understand
• 24:24
  Speaker 7: that sex lives can fade over time naturally, but I
• 24:27
  Speaker 7: don't think that's the case here. I recently started a
• 24:29
  Speaker 7: new anxiety medication that has been a total life changer,
• 24:33
  Speaker 7: except for the fact that I have no sex drive.
• 24:36
  Speaker 7: Sex feels like a burden. Recently, I barely want to
• 24:39
  Speaker 7: engage at all. Obviously, this is impacting my boyfriend, his
• 24:42
  Speaker 7: sex drive has remained the same, and now I'm leaving
• 24:44
  Speaker 7: him completely unsatisfied. Is my sex life doomed simply because
• 24:48
  Speaker 7: I needed to get my anxiety under control? Is my
• 24:51
  Speaker 7: boyfriend going to end up resenting me? Should I just
• 24:54
  Speaker 7: suck it up and have sex more often? My doctor
• 24:57
  Speaker 7: thinks I should stay on the medication for now. So
• 24:59
  Speaker 7: I'm just unsure how to save this relationship. Thanks Sam, Oh.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: Sam's got a cocktail.
• 25:07
  Speaker 5: During the day.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: I was like a lot of margarita. It fucking sure
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: looks like one.
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah during the workday too for me.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: So, Hi, Sam, this is our special guest ron Funches today.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: So say hello to wait, sorry to hear about your
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: most recent sex drive diminishment.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: Yes, yep.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: Isn't there anything you can take to offset the medication
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: that you're taking for your sex drive, like a testosterone
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: type of something or other?
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I haven't looked into testosterone. I guess the other
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: thing is like I I also have ADHD, So I
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: feel like I'm like like popping pills every day, like
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: so many pills a day that it's kind of like,
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: at what point do I you know it's how many
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: is too much? That's kind of the billum I have.
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: But I guess testosterone would be would be fine and
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: something that I could look into.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say, so unless you what's the deal
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: with your boyfriend and you are you able to like
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: you're not having as much sex.
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it was dwindling already because just like long term
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: relationships to like three times a week, but now it's
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: like once a month, and it's it's because of me,
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: Like I just am always kind of pushing him off
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: and he gets like It's not like I haven't told
• 26:20
  Speaker 5: him why, and I'm very transparent. He's been great, but
• 26:23
  Speaker 5: it's just kind of like I know that this is
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: an important part of relationships, so I've been eager to
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: fix it. But also I just got some bad anxiety
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: under control, so it's not really like I want to
• 26:35
  Speaker 5: switch the medication.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: I see. Okay, so are you in love with your boyfriend?
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yep, for sure.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I would ask about then some testosterone, because it's
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: it's totally cool for somebody to have to like acclimate
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: and go into a new medication and the partner to
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: have to be compassionate and understanding about that. But I
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: would be working towards a goal where you're going to
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: be having sex more than once a month, because you're
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: talking about two games and that's not the staying exactly right,
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: So somebody's gonna have to get fucked sooner than later.
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, agreed, do.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: You think right?
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: Yes, I'm by a guy gift fuck for sure. But also,
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: what is your partner's actual thoughts about this? Ben? Have
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: you guys communicated about this a lot.
• 27:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we've communicated about it a ton. I mean, he's
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: been really patient. It's frustrating. I think it's frustrating for
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: both of us. It's frustrating for him because he is
• 27:26
  Speaker 5: not on medication, so he's extremely horny and I am
• 27:29
  Speaker 5: on I am previously horny, so I get it. But
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: I'm also just like not in the mood and it's
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: been frustrating because I feel bad. I feel like I'm
• 27:37
  Speaker 5: just like constantly pushing him off, and I don't want
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: him to like gain resentment from that.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, exactly.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: I think anyone would gain resentment from constant rejection from
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: your partner, because that's how it comes across. At some point,
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: whether he can get you know, it'll come through as that. So, yeah,
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: find out about the testosterone. I'm sure you're not the
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: only person. You know, there's not enough.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Gay men are not going to settle with not being
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: able to have sex, like that's not going to stay.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: So there's got to be a medicine out there that.
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: Will help you, you know, that will cooperate with whatever
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: antidepressants you're on or anti anxiety meds and your ADHD meds,
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: and you'll figure out a way, but definitely work towards
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: zacchol so that you can, you know, get back on track.
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: I just wonder about in the meantime, is there other
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: forms of intimacy that you can practice or surprises that
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: you can give, or ways to know to offset that rejection,
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: to make them know that your partner know although you
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: know you're verbally saying it's not you and they and
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: they know, but still foster a thing of intimacy, you know,
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: through other love languages, so that they're just still this
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: while you're working through it, that that love is still
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: being shown.
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, yeah, for sure, I have been. I mean,
• 28:48
  Speaker 5: we're super cuddly, We've been doing all the romantic things.
• 28:52
  Speaker 5: I'm trying to pick up more around the apartment. So
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: just little things like that.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: And is that romantic to him?
• 29:02
  Speaker 5: I learned that the hard way was getting resentful for that.
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: Ask what's going on here? He's like, you don't do
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: the dishes.
• 29:08
  Speaker 5: I'm like, okay, let me pick up.
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: Well, you could tell that the love is there for sure,
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: So I and I know that the anxiety is the
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: big reason for all of this. So I think, most
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: of all, don't don't stress yourself out about this. This
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: is a temporary problem and that can be a you know,
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: big part of your love story if you guys working
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: through this. Yeah.
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: No, it's a good point. And testosterone, that's a that's
• 29:31
  Speaker 5: also another good point. I don't really know.
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: I's just like, that's what they give you to make
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: you horny, or testosterone. I've been prescribed that before. It's
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: basically for muscle mass and sex drive. Testosterone.
• 29:43
  Speaker 5: Well, that'll be great for my muscle mass and hopefully
• 29:45
  Speaker 5: some extra truest hair.
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, all right, Well you can get a prescription
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: for that.
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: Okay, thank you.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: You're not a real doctor, and though I want to be.
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'll tell my doctor that.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, tell my doctor, tell your doctor.
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: I say, hello, Well that sounds great.
• 30:02
  Speaker 5: Thank you guys so much.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: Take care Sam.
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: Bye. Thank you.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: I love how sensitive you are.
• 30:07
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: You have a nice sensibility about you. You know, you
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: have a lot of qualities and characteristics that I find
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: so attractive in gay men.
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: You know like you like to listen. I find gay
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: men to be very good listeners.
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I can see that, sometimes very mean.
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: They could be cattie, very bitchy, bitchy, bitchy, bitch. You're
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: not bitchy though, you know?
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: No?
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: Or do you? Are you bitch on the side?
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: No, I don't think so.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: I don't think so.
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, No, I don't think so. Very chill.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I wouldn't go well with that voice. Yeah, bitchiness.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: What's next, Catherine, Well, next, we have an email.
• 30:46
  Speaker 7: This email comes from Ashley, and this is kind of
• 30:49
  Speaker 7: about gaming.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Gaming. Who the emails about gaming? Do you game?
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: Okay, great? Perfect? I'm like great, you can feel.
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: This happy too.
• 31:00
  Speaker 7: So Ashley is thirty one, and she says, Dear Chelsea,
• 31:04
  Speaker 7: my boyfriend is in his early forties. He loves Japanese
• 31:07
  Speaker 7: culture and is devoted to a video game where you
• 31:10
  Speaker 7: play as Japanese high school girls who fight. I'm kind
• 31:14
  Speaker 7: of creeped out by the fact that they're high schoolers
• 31:16
  Speaker 7: dressed in a sexy schoolgirl uniform. Even if they're just cartoons.
• 31:20
  Speaker 7: He says, it's just a game, but I feel like
• 31:21
  Speaker 7: there's a provocative nature to the design of the characters.
• 31:24
  Speaker 7: He spends money on the game, too, not a ton,
• 31:27
  Speaker 7: but it's a good chunk of change for us. It
• 31:29
  Speaker 7: just feels childish to be playing video games at all
• 31:32
  Speaker 7: at his age, but I can get over it because
• 31:33
  Speaker 7: it's his hobby. Am I overreacting about this teenage fantasy?
• 31:37
  Speaker 7: Or is a game just a game? Ashley?
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: Oh, it's right in the middle for this one, for sure. This, Yeah,
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: it's a fair amount to unpack. I'll start globally. If
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: he's forty one playing games, that's a okay. That means
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: he's grew up in the eighty during the game In time,
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: people who are always like, oh, real men don't play games,
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: It's like, yeah, because you fifty and sixty, they didn't
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: have games, so you would not have been able to play.
• 32:08
  Speaker 4: But now where the people who grew up with those games,
• 32:11
  Speaker 4: and it's not a thing that you just like put away.
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: Do I feel like perhaps his taste in games should
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: be a little different probably probably a little bit bold
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: to feel that you could play that game in front
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: of your wife and not have any issues. So I
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: would just be like, maybe he needs to play that
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: game while she's in bed or asleep, or play a
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: different game that doesn't have Japanese school girls. There's plenty
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: of great fight in games that do. I can't actually
• 32:40
  Speaker 4: think of the one that does so to me, it
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: is very sexual.
• 32:45
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean, on the one hand, it's sort of
• 32:47
  Speaker 7: like their cartoon characters.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 32:51
  Speaker 7: But at the same time, it's a little it's a
• 32:53
  Speaker 7: little on the creepy edge.
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: As soon as I hear about gaming, my mind shuts off.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: I just care even hear anything about it. I don't care.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: I can't answer the question. Obviously. That was for Ron Funcher.
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: I'm glad that you're here for this because I don't
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: fucking know what to do about that.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: I don't care. I don't think I could date a
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: man that played video games.
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: Wow, you just talking to me about being open.
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: I don't think I could. I really don't, because when
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: are they playing them? Like every night? Yeah, Sarah plays
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: a lot of video games. You play with her?
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: Call of Duty?
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Yes, I play games all the time and still
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: will fucking make you come so hard?
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: Should we move on to our next color?
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: Yes, I just climbaxed, Mallory says.
• 33:54
  Speaker 7: Dear Chelsea, Hi, I'm writing to you on how to
• 33:58
  Speaker 7: get my shit together. I'm currently a married, thirty nine
• 34:01
  Speaker 7: year old mom of three, so naturally I'm coming to
• 34:04
  Speaker 7: you for advice. I have two biological children that are
• 34:07
  Speaker 7: seven and five, and my husband and I just finished
• 34:10
  Speaker 7: the adoption process for our first foster child, a two
• 34:12
  Speaker 7: year old.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: That process alone took a lot out of us.
• 34:16
  Speaker 7: I love being a mom, and although it has never
• 34:18
  Speaker 7: come naturally to me, I truly feel proud of myself
• 34:21
  Speaker 7: so far for doing a decent job raising them in
• 34:24
  Speaker 7: the process.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: However, I feel like I've lost myself a little bit.
• 34:27
  Speaker 7: I suffer from anxiety and finally took care of it
• 34:29
  Speaker 7: a year and a half ago by starting therapy followed
• 34:31
  Speaker 7: by an anti anxiety medicine that truly changed my life
• 34:34
  Speaker 7: in such a positive way.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: Attire on the show today A lot of medicine.
• 34:38
  Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, But one thing I have completely lost motivation
• 34:42
  Speaker 7: for is to exercise, take care of myself, eat well,
• 34:45
  Speaker 7: and just fucking relax.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: Chelsea.
• 34:47
  Speaker 7: I know you work out religiously have a bang in
• 34:49
  Speaker 7: bod because of it, and I figure you have got
• 34:51
  Speaker 7: your life routines and rituals totally together.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: I plan to work out.
• 34:55
  Speaker 7: I Meanwhile, then when that blissful two hour nap time
• 34:58
  Speaker 7: comes around, I find myself bone ass tired and end
• 35:01
  Speaker 7: up scrolling on the couch or doing household chores I've
• 35:03
  Speaker 7: put off instead. I'm a procrastinator to the extreme. I
• 35:07
  Speaker 7: want to end my thirties and the best shape of
• 35:09
  Speaker 7: my life. But how do I get started? How do
• 35:11
  Speaker 7: I put my mental exhaustion aside and focus on me
• 35:14
  Speaker 7: when I want to take a big old nap instead?
• 35:16
  Speaker 7: How can I change my mentality? An FYI, The one
• 35:19
  Speaker 7: ritual I do every evening when my husband gets home
• 35:22
  Speaker 7: is taking a long, hot shower, smoking a joint, and
• 35:24
  Speaker 7: listening to the Dear Chelsea podcast before bedtime. Heaven Mallory,
• 35:28
  Speaker 7: and she's joining us here.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: Hi, Mallorie, Hi, I'm so happy to be here. This
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: is so exciting.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: I love you, guys. This is our special guest who's
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: gonna make you come. Ron Fuch's gret that wonderful just
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: made both of us come. So Actually, I can't speak
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: for Catherine. That's not professional. What a nice morning.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry work Chelsea.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you want to get in shape, that's basically
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: what you're saying. You want to just get your shit together.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: We'll get your fucking shit together. Then, I know, I don't.
• 35:57
  Speaker 8: Know what my problem is. I have no motivation, and
• 36:01
  Speaker 8: then when I have time, I just like want to
• 36:04
  Speaker 8: take a nap.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, welcome to the rest of the fucking This
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: guy's playing video games every time he wants to take
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: a nap. Or do you take a nap?
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: Sounds like it sounds like it with your video game schedule,
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: you have.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: Twenty minutes to set aside. Start with twenty minutes a
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: day and fucking do some stupid pelletson class or some
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: aerobics class. What are you into like bloates, yoga, yoga?
• 36:26
  Speaker 8: And I really would like to get stronger. It's like
• 36:28
  Speaker 8: wanted do I have? I have everything I need? I
• 36:31
  Speaker 8: do have time, Like there's times when my kids are napping.
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: I have a lot of kids, but we'll stop having
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: kids also, And I just don't know.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: What my problem is.
• 36:40
  Speaker 8: And even my husband is so sweet and he's always
• 36:42
  Speaker 8: like I'll watch the kids. I'll be like, well, I'm
• 36:44
  Speaker 8: not feeling that good, or like I need to eat,
• 36:47
  Speaker 8: or like you need to just like I don't know
• 36:48
  Speaker 8: what my problem is.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: Is there a secret?
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: No, there isn't a secret. You just have to fucking
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: get over yourself and do it. There's no secret. You
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: have to say to yourself, I'm stronger than my emotions,
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: and I'm going to work out for twenty minutes today.
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: And the more you were after you do it for
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: three days, you're going to want.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: To do it on day number four and day number five,
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: you're going to want to start getting stronger and feeling
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: better about yourself because it's going to give you energy.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: You're not gonna gets tired during the day as long
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: as you exercise for twenty minutes and don't take it
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: out of your nap time, get up twenty minutes earlier,
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: or you can take a nap after you work out
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: for twenty minutes. You're not gonna want to take a
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: nap after you work out for twenty minutes.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: You're right, that's so true.
• 37:22
  Speaker 8: I just need something to kick my butt into doing
• 37:23
  Speaker 8: it and.
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: That yeah, okay, that's okay obviously, now, we're done already,
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: this is already called ourselves. This is amazing. Wow, this
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: is the quickest remedy ever. Thank you for this opportunity.
• 37:36
  Speaker 7: I feel like I was very in this position, and
• 37:39
  Speaker 7: for me, it just took like if you can afford it,
• 37:41
  Speaker 7: like getting a trainer. I go early in the morning,
• 37:43
  Speaker 7: which I never thought I was going to be a
• 37:44
  Speaker 7: morning person working out, but like we only do strength.
• 37:48
  Speaker 7: I do my cardio elsewhere. But it's like thirty minutes.
• 37:51
  Speaker 7: It's like the laziest possible thing, thirty minutes. I started
• 37:54
  Speaker 7: with twice a week, I do three times a week now,
• 37:56
  Speaker 7: and it's like if I didn't have the other person
• 37:58
  Speaker 7: waiting for me and knowing I was going to like burn.
• 38:00
  Speaker 7: You know, however much money on that trainer that session,
• 38:04
  Speaker 7: I yeah, never know.
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: I just will never know. That's a really good idea.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: That's a really good point.
• 38:09
  Speaker 8: I don't like disappointing people, So that's a good.
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: That's what I would ring them in a hundred percent.
• 38:15
  Speaker 4: Especially if you got the husband who wants to watch
• 38:18
  Speaker 4: the kids while you go out, take advantage and go
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: do a class.
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: You're right, that's gonna be good for the whole family.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: You're gonna be in a much better Yeah.
• 38:25
  Speaker 8: It's such a nicer person when I get exercise, So
• 38:28
  Speaker 8: you're right, it will be good for everybody.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: Goodbye, but thank you.
• 38:32
  Speaker 7: I love you guys.
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: Okay, bye. That sounded like she really wanted to talk
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: to me.
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: I was like, excuse me, this isn't a problem.
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and you're also like, you're you seem pretty fit.
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: I was gonna say, I was gonna say, get up
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: and show us your body, but then I was like,
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: I can't. I don't think I can say that because
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: she looked great. Yeah, I'm like, let's see what condition
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: your body's She looked.
• 38:57
  Speaker 4: Fine, husband's gonna be happy. It'll be good time exactly.
• 39:02
  Speaker 7: And I think she won't get as tired as well,
• 39:04
  Speaker 7: like in the late afternoon as she does that in
• 39:06
  Speaker 7: the morning.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: But let's take a quick break and we'll come back
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: to wrap up. But I would love for Ron for
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: you to tell us a little bit about your like.
• 39:13
  Speaker 7: Jiu jitsu journey that you have been on and how
• 39:16
  Speaker 7: that's helped your mental health and physical nice.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, Okay, we'll take a break and we'll be right back,
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: and we're back with Ron funches Hi Hi, I read
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: that you speak jiu jitsu.
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: You landed that playing very well. I do speak jiu jitsu. Yes,
• 39:40
  Speaker 4: I've been taking jiu jitsu for about sixteen months or
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: so once I another separation divorce spurred thing where I
• 39:49
  Speaker 4: wanted to take control of my health and also had
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: some anger issues and was like I should be I
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: need to be able to choke someone in a positive area.
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: And so then I started it and fell very scared
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: and just drug myself every day and just sweated a
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: bunch and did not know what I was doing at all.
• 40:06
  Speaker 4: But now I love it. It's so spiritual, it's so fun.
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: I had at pilates this year. I just try to
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: add a new thing every year to my health goals.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: And that's And so who got you into jiu jitsu?
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: Freddy Prince Junior got me in the jiu ju?
• 40:19
  Speaker 5: Oh.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: I think he lives behind me.
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: Freddie Prince and Sarah Michelle Gello. I keep hearing about
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: them in my neighborhood, but I don't see them. So
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: he got you into jiu jitsu?
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because everybody else I knew that jiu jitsu were
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: like super like type of dudes and comedians that I
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: was like, all right, whatever, I don't want to like
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: getting to the USC. Yeah, you know, although Joe's actually
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: he was a big part of the school that I
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: go to. They love him there, so he's done a
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: lot for that school. But I never had heard the
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: spiritual aspects of it are the parts about just building confidence,
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: And now I love that. Like I'll never plan to
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: compete or get into a cage, but I like, I
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: like going two three times a week.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I'm glad that doesn't conflict with your gaming schedule.
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: No, it makes me a full rounded person. I can
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: beat you in Mortal Kombat, and if you get mad
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: at me, I'll put you in an arm bar or
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: choke the shit out of you.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: What other spiritual components of jiu jitsu are there? Oh?
• 41:16
  Speaker 4: So many. I mean just lessons that I learned from
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: talking to my professor. Like one time he had me
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: in this hole and he's like, there's two ways you
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: can get out of this. He's like, you can disengage
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: or you have to go through me, and you're gonna
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: get probably some rug burn, you're gonna get your ear
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: scuffed up, but you're going to make it through. And again,
• 41:37
  Speaker 4: while I'm going through all this stuff. It's just nice
• 41:39
  Speaker 4: to have someone be like, well, the only way you
• 41:41
  Speaker 4: lose is if you stop moving, and like, as long
• 41:44
  Speaker 4: as you keep moving, as long as you you might
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: get a little rug burn, you might get your cheeks
• 41:48
  Speaker 4: scraped up, but you're gonna get out of this. And
• 41:50
  Speaker 4: those are the type of things that I need to
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: hear and make me feel good. And so it's just
• 41:55
  Speaker 4: a lot of stuff just about balance, about movement, about
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: some of our human natural human reactions to stress or
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: to fear only cause us more harm. And to be
• 42:06
  Speaker 4: able to like stay calm and lean into things, just
• 42:09
  Speaker 4: go through things. And you know, again, I need that.
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: It must be easy to do as or when, especially
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: when you have children, it must be you have more
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: motivation to really have your act together in terms of
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: reactive behavior and reacting to different situations, right, because there's
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: such a sense of responsibility to demonstrate how to handle
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: those kinds of situations.
• 42:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and just my overall health with having sons twenty
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: years apart, I'm like, I want to be an active
• 42:36
  Speaker 4: dad for both my kids, and so I have to
• 42:38
  Speaker 4: be you know, I'm go I need to be in
• 42:40
  Speaker 4: shape when I'm fifty and we need to be in
• 42:42
  Speaker 4: shape when I'm sixty, so I have to start now again,
• 42:45
  Speaker 4: you know, just turn it on.
• 42:46
  Speaker 6: Well.
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: Plus it's hard because you're busy making so many women
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: come all the time, so it's like one right now,
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: just me, yeah, just dear Chelsea Power Couple.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Ron Funches. What a delightful early afternoon soiree.
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: I enjoyed it.
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: Lude Yeah, yes, thank you for being here. I have
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: to change my underwear now, yeah yeah, yeah, it's like soaker.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: So upcoming shows that I have you guys, I'll be
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: in Auburn, Washington on August first, and then Santa Rosa,
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: California for my second show August second.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: August seventeenth is the Santa Barbara Bowl. You do not
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: want to miss that.
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: And then I will be all over Maine, Charlotte, North Carolina, Charleston,
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: South Carolina.
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: I'm coming to Texas. I'm coming to Saint Louis and
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: Kansas City.
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: And then I will be in Las Vegas performing at
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel. My first three
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: dates in Vegas our September first, Labor Day weekend, and
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: then November second, and November thirtieth.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: I'm coming to.
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November eighth,
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: and I have tickets on sale throughout the end of
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: the year in December, so if you're in a city
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: like Philadelphia or Bethlehem or San Diego or New Orleans
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: or Omaha, check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.
• 44:18
  Speaker 7: Okay, if you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an
• 44:21
  Speaker 7: email at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and
• 44:24
  Speaker 7: be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is
• 44:27
  Speaker 7: edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law
• 44:31
  Speaker 7: and be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler
• 44:33
  Speaker 7: dot com