Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / Making Out with Josh Radnor

Transcript

Making Out with Josh Radnor · Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Hi, I'm in recovery mode.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Oh did you You didn't have a spill, did you?
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, not that old recovery. I had
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: a lot of people at my house for the last
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: week and they and a lot of action, a lot
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: of people, a lot of things, and I am really
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: I just slept probably sixteen hours on Monday and another
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: twelve hours yesterday, so I'm starting to feel back to myself.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: I have Vegas this weekend.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Oh good, you got to prepare.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Yes, I have some new material that I have to
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: test out for my new tour, the High and Mighty Tour,
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: which starts on February thirteenth, which we've actually made some
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: additions to. We've added some shows. We added Los Angeles,
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: I will be performing at the Netflix is a Joke
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Festival that's on May sixth. We added Ronert Park, California.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: The pre sale is live now April third. I'll be
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: in Rohnert Park. And also we added Atlantic City, which
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: is on Balantine's Day February fourteenth. So those new shows
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: have just been added to my High and Mighty tour,
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: and my first two shows out of the gate will
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: be in Washington, d C. Atlantic City and then Norfolk, Virginia,
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: February thirteenth, fourteenth, fifteenth. I will see you there.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Excellent. Well, I'm excited about our guest today.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Yes, our guest today has a new album called Eulogy
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: Volume two and he is the host of the podcast
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: How We Made Your Mother. So please welcome Josh Radner.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: Hi, Josh Radner, Hi, Chelsea, how are you?
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: I'm good? How are you doing?
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: You look so professorial with all of those but I
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: like the like the salt and pepper hair and then
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: the books behind you.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: It's painting quite a picture.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: You got just the vibe I'm going for.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: You know what I was thinking on my way over
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: to record this podcast today. I was thinking, Oh, I'm
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: interviewing Josh Radner. And then I was like, how do
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: I know Josh? And then I was like, did Josh
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: and I ever sleep together?
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: We didn't sleep together, but we made out. I'm happy
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: to talk about it on the podcast.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: If you want great well recording, so let's go.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: Oh okay, yeah, you know how we met is Matt
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Bouren and Jessica Golden.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: I think, oh, Jessica Golden, I remember Jessica. Do you
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: know where she is today? Jessica Golden?
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: She she wrote me a couple months ago. But remind me, no,
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: I'm curious. I haven't seen her in years.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: I haven't either, I'll have to check my texts. But
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: they took me to an evening that you were mceing
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: somewhere Melrose. What's the comedy club there?
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: Improv?
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the Improv?
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Maybe you were?
• 2:28
  Speaker 5: You were?
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: And I think it was my first season hiatus of
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: how I met your mother? And I had a big
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: long like hiatus.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Beard and yes, it's coming back to me now.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: You came up to the bar and I said, great job,
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: and your first words to me you said you look
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: like a terrorist, and then you walked away. But then
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: later that night we ended up making out.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Oh I knew something happened.
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: I'm so glad. My memory isn't just shot, you.
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: Know what I mean.
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: But it was twenty years ago, and we didn't sleep together.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: I do remember that.
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: Okay, great, well that's great information to have.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: I'm glad.
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: And did we make out at the improverty?
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: No? No, no, no. You came to my little apartment
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: for a little while and then didn't you have a roommate?
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: No, Oh, I'm okay, that I might be confusing with
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: with someone else. Now anyway, it's great to see you again,
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: Serio Ages and you're now you're married.
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: Well, first of all, you're a musician and an actor.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, forgive me for not knowing this, but I
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: didn't even know you were a musician. Now this is
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: great information to have and to spread the word.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: He has a new.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: Album called Eulogy Volume two. So there's a Eulogy Volume
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: one I'm assuming which I'm going to listen to as
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: soon as possible. Correct, Yeah, Okay, here's a serious question.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Who is the more annoying group of artists as a
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: successful actor and musician? Now that I know you're both,
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: who is more? Who is more annoying as a group
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: of artists musicians or actors?
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't I don't think of I
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: don't classify people by their of annoyance. But I will
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: say that the musicians I've met, especially in Los Angeles
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: where I now live in Brooklyn, but the musicians I
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: met in LA and in Nashville, where I've spent a
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: lot of time have been incredibly generous cool, collaborative people.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: Acting is maybe a little more like mercenary like kind
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: of I don't know, but I've been doing it longer,
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: the acting, so I'm a little more like delighted by
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: the newness of the music. Do you know what I'm saying?
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Absolutely understand what you're saying. And I have to say
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: I have a couple of friends who are not they're
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: not out as musicians yet.
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: They're working on music, but they are actors.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Two of them specifically that I'm thinking of, and they
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: have the same exact sentiment. They're going to be coming
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: out with music and they're both pretty big stars, so like,
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: and I had no idea. I was like, wait, what
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: you guys and the like with that's way because we
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: have to get it right, you know, because yeah, so
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: you know, well known in these other arenas, I would
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: imagine the pressure is intense to get it right. But
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: they said the same thing about Nashville.
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: And they also.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: Surprisingly told me that the music scene in Los Angeles
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: is far more not adaptable, Like it's just there's just
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: more go going on musically in LA than New York,
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: which surprised me. Would you agree with that that is true?
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: I have found New York. I think it's a matter
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: of like the venues are just a little more like
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: active in La so like I started playing music at
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: the hotel cafe, which is like an incredibly intimate you know,
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: there's two stages that people were so nice. I kept
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: getting invited to these like songwriter evenings, and I get
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: up and do two or three songs and meet people
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: who ended up becoming collaborators. It was great.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that is fun. It's first of all, it's so
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: nice to not to have to do one thing. Not
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: that you have to do acting, but you know what
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's what you were saying earlier.
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: I feel very aligned with that.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: I like to get to do a lot of different
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: things because otherwise I'll get too bored.
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: And what I've noticed by doing a lot.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Of things, I mean, it could be add or however
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: you want to frame it, or it could just be
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: like artistic behavior, you know, like the life of an
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: artist is like you kind of have to spread yourself
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: around a little. It's not always one thing. I guess
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: unless your van go it was one thing. Yeah, but
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: I'm sure he had other tricks up his sleeve too
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: that you probably don't know about, but I would say that,
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: and then the artistry kind of bleeds into each other.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Ye would you say that that's for me?
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: For me, it's kind of like I think about there's
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: just like different ideas need a different form. Like sometimes
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: I have an idea and I'm like, well, that's a
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: ninety minute story, like that's a movie. I have another
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: idea and I'm like, that's a four minute song. I'm
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: not going to get anything more. It's actually better as
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: a song than it would be in a larger kind
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: of you know what I'm saying, I.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Get a different Well, you've written, and you've written movies too,
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: and you wrote the Fleischmann's Fleischmann is in Trouble.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: No, I didn't write that. Taffy Brotus or actinga wrote it.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: I acted in that.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Oh you acted in that. Sorry, I thought you'd created that.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: That's very nice of you to think that. I'll tell
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: Taffy you thought that.
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, let's just keep pretending. Let you start that room anything.
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: I mentioned Jaws, he also wrote and directed.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: I did write Jaws. Yeah, I didn't direct Jaws. I
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: directed Close Encounters.
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: Can you imagine?
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: I was just I grew up on Martha's vineyard, like
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: in the summertime. So they actually shot that movie when
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: my brothers and sisters were in there, like, you know,
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: kids hundred ten years old. So they watched that shark
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: Bruce go up and down in the water in the
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: bay on Katama Bay, and they would not go in
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: the water for ten years after that.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: So what's your story, Josh? You're married, you have children?
• 7:11
  Speaker 6: Now?
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: No, we have a dog named Nelson who's somewhere around here.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: That's a good that's a good dog's name. Yeah, I
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: approve of that. Yeah, and are you are you planning
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: on having children? Are you anti children? What's your stance
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: on I'm not anti? Are you open minded about it?
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: You are? Okay? Good to know, great, just getting to
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: reno you.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we didn't cover everything the night we met.
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: We do, I mean, yes, how could we have?
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: We were obviously we were busy. Yeah, we were busy.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: I was. I'm sure I was had a serious buzz going.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Are you sober now?
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: I'm so. I'm like California.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: Sober, meaning only weed, Is that right?
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: I like weed, I like psychedelics. I don't I don't drink.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: I haven't had a drink in about seven or eight years.
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: But I like, I still like altering the consciousness. I
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: just don't do it with cruise anymore, you know.
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that seems to be the trend, you know.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I mean I still drink because I have a real
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: affinity for alcohol, but I definitely drink a lot less
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: because of all of the other good stuff available now,
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: like the healthier stuff. Like if you're microdosing, whether it's
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: psilocybin or LSD or whatever you're into, you definitely don't
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: drink as much as I used to do for sure.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for me, alcohol was just it just unleashed some
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: part of me that was not great. I also, I
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: don't know, I have it in my family. It just
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: felt like a good move to make. But I still
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: like I didn't have an off switch with alcohol. I
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: have it with everything else.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah that's interesting.
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of people.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: That don't have an off switch with alcohol.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: I was like, one is good, four is better, you know.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, four is better. And then you get that look
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: in your eye, that empty, vacant look in your eye,
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: and you're like, it's time to take you home, sweetie. Yeah,
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: sometimes you're talking to yourself. You do this podcast, I'll
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: watch podcasts with How I Met Your Mother, you rewatch
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: episodes together and discuss Well.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's with one of the co creators of the show,
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: Craig Thomas.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: I already told you you've created everything that we're going to
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: talk about today. Yeah, I've created cute if you want
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: to shout out names to other people, Yeah, going to
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: edit that from the podcast.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: It's called How We Made Your Mother. It started because
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: my wife Jordana had never seen the show and she
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: really wanted to watch it, and I kind of felt
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: like ready to watch it again. I hadn't seen it
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: in so many years. So I called Craig, who's a
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: really dear friend and I love talking to him, and
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: I was like, do you want to do something a
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: little more formal and just like go through the show
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: and talk about it. And you know, it's a rewatch
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: and we don't cover it in like granular detail every episode,
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: but we really do talk about like the major kind
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: of themes of what was up. We talk about what
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: worked still, what didn't work, what no longer kind of works.
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: It's kind of like this meta thing because the whole
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: series was structured as this older guy looking back on
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: his younger years and now we're like older looking back
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: on this thing we made.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: I know that show was that was like nine seasons. Ye. Correct,
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: So and you were the very first person cast in
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: that show. Is that accurate?
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: That is true? Yeah, me and Kobe Smolders were the first. Yeah,
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: but I was the very first person who auditioned on
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: the very first day. That is that is true?
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, that is wild. I mean nine years of
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: your life is such a big chunk of your life,
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: so big.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I always thought about it. I was like, it's
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: high school plus college plus one.
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: Year plus like a mini PhD.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, a gap year or whatever. I mean, it was
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: so long, and also it flies by. I mean it's
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: so weird. Like the thing you're describing of like wanting
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: to go from thing to thing. That's like a little
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: thing probably we share is like a little bit of
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: a mercurial personality, like we want to go from thing
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: to thing. And you never think when you get into
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: this industry, I'm going to be doing something for nine years.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: Like that's insane, right right.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: And also, in like the regular world, if you were
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: to go into any job, I wonder if people want
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: to go into a job thinking I want to be
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: here for nine years. You know, usually if you're really
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: kind of like my professional friends go to a company
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: and they'll be like, oh, I'll stay here for five
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: to six years and then I'll move on to something else.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: But I don't know if that's like a different level
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: of employment, you know, or if some people are just
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: looking for any stability whatsoever. But if you were to
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: go into something knowing it would last that long, I
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: wonder if our decisions would be the same.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: Well, you have to, I mean when you test for
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: the pilot, I think it's still like this. You have
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: to sign a seven year contract, you know, so, but
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: statistically that never happens, you.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Know, right, But in your case, it exceeded the seven years.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: But you're so grateful in that moment when you're signing
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: that fucking You're like, please give me seven years of
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: a salary. Please. You never could imagine that you would
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: either grow bored, and I'm not saying you did. I
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: just speak from my own experience that you would grow
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: bored or experience any sort of on Wii or you know,
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: like get tired of something. You think.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: Well, I was like, please give me my health insurance.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: Like I was, like, really wanted something to go. And
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: if you look at nine years of your life, any
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: nine year chunk, you're going to be bored, frustrated and
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: elate it like it's everything, you know what I mean. Like,
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: no one wants to hear that you had a bad
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: day on your hit TV show, but like, of course
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: you do. You know, you also have really fun days.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you had such a great cast all. I mean,
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: everybody in that cast is a solid, normal, mostly normal person.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: I don't know them, depends on the day, but yeah,
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: mostly yeah.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: Well, of course, I mean, we are dealing with actors,
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: but as far as actors go, you got a good
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: batch to work with, that's for sure.
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: I love Kobe Smoulders, I love Jason Siegel, I love Kaylee.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: Now it says here that you struggle to separate yourself
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: from the role that you played, and that you struggled
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: with fame. Talk to me about that.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't say I struggled with separating myself from the role.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: I felt like I struggled with other people not willing
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: or wanting to separate me from the role. You know
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: what I mean? I knew who I was all the time.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: I knew who I you know, I knew I was
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: playing a role. It's like, you know, it's such a
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: head trip, like so many people and people watch the
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: show over and over. There's these people that are I
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: love them, but they're obsessed with the show and they
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: watch it over so they've spent so much time with
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: me as this one person. I filmed this thing, I
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: banked it. I've moved on with my life and I've
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: I don't think about that. I don't know the show
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: the way they know the show. I don't. I'm not
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: saturated in it the way they are. So when they
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: meet me, it's almost like I offend them by having
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: another life and another name and another you know what
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: I mean.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: And it will say, of anyone we've ever had on
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: the show, I think you have the most thriving, like
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: reddit life, like you know what I mean. Like people
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: are out there like still having conversations about the show.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, no, it's crazy. It's wild. I was
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: just on Jesse Tyler Ferguson's podcast. We were just talking about,
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: you know, because he was on Modern Family for so long,
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: and we were talking about like the weirdness of people
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: wanting you to be that character and wanting and interpreting
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: everything you say and do through the lens of the character.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: So it was strange. I mean I think there was
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: there was one level it was that, and the other
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: level it was just you know, the erosion of ananymity
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: and you know, it's it was weird. I just found
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: it very destabilizing. I'm used to it now, like I
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: know how to walk through an airport and take a
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: few photos of people and move on with my day.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: It's not like it's not a huge deal, but like
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: at the time, I was really unsettled by it.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: I would imagine that's true for a lot of actors.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: For me, I'm like, you know, I am kind of
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: what I am on TV, so it's a different I'm
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: not playing a character, right, you know, my persona is
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: who I am pretty much.
• 14:10
  Speaker 6: You know.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Luckily it's even better, I mean, hopefully it's even better
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: a person. But I don't struggle with that. So I'm
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: always curious to hear actors talk about that, because it
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: would be really fucking annoying for people to expect you
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: to be a character in the middle of the day
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: on a street in Los Angeles. That's really annoying.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I had a girlfriend years ago who said, man,
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: you're a lot nicer when people come up and say
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: your real name and want to talk to about one
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: of the movies you directed. You know, Like I just
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: had this weird but I've really I've made peace so
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: much with it, and part of it, the rewatching of
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: the show has brought me some peace where I remember
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: watching these episodes, you know, twenty years ago, and I
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: was so hard on myself. But now I watch it
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, you were young, you were also doing
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: a really good job and a really hard role. Like
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: I have a lot more compassion for myself at this
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: age looking back on it. I also have a lot
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: more understanding of why people love the show in some
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: weird way, Like I couldn't understand why people are so
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: obsessed with it. I Mean I was like, it's good,
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: but why have you dedicated your life to it? Like
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: why is it a religion? But now I get that,
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: Like it really teaches people something about those years, like
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: those twenty five to thirty five, which are really pivotal
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: interesting times in people's lives, you know.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Right, we're talking about the show how I Met your Mother,
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: and then we're talking about Josh's podcast, which is How
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: We Made Your Mother. It sounds like you've also done
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: a lot of self reflection and like probably therapy, I'm
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: assuming correct.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: Sure. Yeah.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: From everything I'm you know, was reading about you in
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: preparation for this interview, it sounds like you have a
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: a lot of like stuff you want to get out,
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: you know, especially with the music. It's nice to have
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: the freedom to be able to direct, to be able
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: to act, to be able to sing, like these guitar
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: ballads that are on your album that I was reading
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: some of the lyrics of, and it's really just a
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: testament to the creative spirit. I think, when you really
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: could do all of these things aptly and want and
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: have the desire to keep doing it and keep producing things.
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, thanks. I mean, I you know, when I
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: was in drama school, like I just wanted to do
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: an episode of Law and Order, and then you do
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: that and you're like, oh, wait, maybe I could actually
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: be on one of these shows for a while, or
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: maybe I could be on Broadway or and the you know,
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: it's hard because the carrot keeps moving. But at the
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: same time, when you do one thing, it kind of
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: like unquirks this thing of like, oh, what if I
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: tried that, or what if I tried that? And I
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: started writing songs with my friend Ben Lee, who's a
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: great Australian songwriter. So I kind of apprenticed with this
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: great songwriter. Like I took it very seriously as a craft,
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: you know. I was. I didn't like go in with
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: the producer and be like, here's three lines make a song.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: Like I really tried to get under the hood of
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: how songs are made. And it's just been it's been
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: so satisfying.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Oh that's so nice to hear. Where do you think
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: you find your like happiest version of yourself.
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: I feel like when I have my hooks and a
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: song or like a script, and there's like just like
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: a good writing day is like truly the most satisfying
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: thing for me. When you catch the wave, you know.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: And it's not like I mean I don't mind like
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: chiseling away at something, but like when you catch a wave.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: There's kind of a thing of like the afternoon walk
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: with my dog and then writing a song and my
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: wife is a psychologist, like waiting for her to come
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: down from the office and get dinner in our sweet
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: little neighborhood. Like like like pleasures are like small these days,
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: but I mean like cosmically big, but small in the
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: grand scheme of things. And I really liked the last
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: you know, year and a half we've been married. Is
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: just felt very sweet.
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: That's sweet.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: I love to hear a straight man talk like this. Now,
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: what is your So your wife's a psychologist, How does
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: that play out in your marriage?
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: It's good because I'm pretty psychologically minded, you know, and
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: I can speak that language. And she really loves stories
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: and television and movies, and she has no desire to
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: be in front. But her story instincts are unbelievably good.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: Like she always knows what's about to happen in something.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: She's like always a little bit ahead of things. And
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: when she reads things, I really trust her eye in
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: her ear like she's she's she's a great shadow collaborator
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: in certain ways.
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: I just read this term called proleptic irony.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: Do you know what that is? When the audience knows
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: it's just what you're describing about your wife, When the
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: audience knows something's going to happen in a movie or
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: a book before the characters do oh, So as the
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: reader or as the viewer, it's called proleptic irony. And
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: then there's another part of there's another form of irony
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: which is not as relevant to this conversation. But I
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: thought that was such a good thing that there was
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: a term for that. I like knowing that, yeah, yeah,
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: exactly does she psychoanalyze you ever? Or is she just
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: too tired from working that she doesn't have time for that?
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: Legitimately she is too tired. She doesn't. We don't. We
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: don't really do that. I mean it's more of like,
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: do you want to Like what was that? I heard
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: a great thing? That was like when when someone comes
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: to you and they're all worked up, you say, do
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: you want a toolbox, a tissue box, or a soapbox?
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: So it's like the soapbox is like you just want
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: to vent? The toolboxes do you want some help working
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: through this? And the tissue boxes like do you just
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: want to release it and let it go? And uh,
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: I think we're pretty good. Like I've had enough relationships
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: where I'm like, I don't do the fucking thing. I mean,
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: sometimes you fall into it, but like I don't get
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: in there and try to fix it, you know, but
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: a lot of times she's so she's seen you know,
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: six or seven patients in a day, and she's like
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: and on zoom right, and she is that is closed
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: for business, right. So then we're just figuring out where
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: to go to dinner.
• 19:40
  Speaker 7: You know.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's nice. It's nice to figure out where to
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: go to dinner in New York City.
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: I love that we're in Fort Green, which has some
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: of the best restaurants in New York. And we went
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: to Italy on our honeymoon and we were like, I
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: mean it's good, but like it genuinely you get spoiled
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: in New York.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: As good as New York.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: I mean some of it is. Yeah, you sorry, Italy.
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: We had a great time though.
• 20:01
  Speaker 7: I know.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: I think you're right though, Like it's kind of like Mexico.
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: You go to it like I was in like I
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: go when I was in.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: Mexico City, I was so excited about all the food
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: and I was like, this is not what I envisioned
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: at all. And I'm like, I feel like we might
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: have better Mexican food in Los Angeles.
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's almost like, uh, do you remember that movie
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: John Carter. It was like it was basically like a
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: novel that George Lucas plundered for all this inspiration for
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: Star Wars, and then they made a John Carter movie
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: and then everyone's like it's like a Star Wars rip off,
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: and it's like, no, that was the original thing that
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: George Lucas loved. And I feel like Italian food or
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: Mexican food is probably like that, where it's like that's
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: the og thing, but we like took it and made
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: it something else.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, so now that's right. We've acclimated too, and
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: we're like, we think that's right, exactly exactly. Same thing
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: with pizza. You know there's that famous pizzeria in Rome.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: Did you go to Rome on your honeymoon?
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: Well, we flew through. We were up in the north.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: It's like called the Cemetery or something. It's everyone goes there,
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: and I went there and I was like, this is
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: really disappointing. Meanwhile, you know, you can't say anything because
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: you're like, fuck, I don't even want to sound like
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: an idiot, but I do not like this. If I
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: lived in New York, I would just be twice the
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: size of myself every night before I go to bed
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: in New York City, I have to have a piece
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: of pizza. Yeah, I hope if I lived there, I
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: wouldn't act like that, because I do want to live
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: in New York City one day. I just have to
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: wait for my hell that is Los Angeles house to
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: be done being built, which I bitch about on this
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: podcast all the time, So there's no reason you shouldn't
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: be privy to it as well, Josh.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: Fine, but also in New York you end up eating
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: it like ten o'clock, like a full dinner at ten o'clock,
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: and La, you're just it's a whole difference.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: I would like to be up at ten o'clock, you
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? Yea, And that New York would
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: even provide me that LA is Sleepyville.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: Now, LA makes you very elderly, very quickly. You're like
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: five point thirty dinner, You're asleep at eight, you know
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: what I mean.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: Like I said, I have to move to New York soon,
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: because otherwise I will be too Like at least it's motivating.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: You're always going out and there's too much happening around
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: to not participate in some of the action In New
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: York She's just telling my friend. I'm like, I'm gonna
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: have to move to New York otherwise I'll die in
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: like five or ten years because all I do when
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: I'm in LA is sleep. I honestly went to bed
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: last night at like eight forty five. I was like,
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: I took it edible, and I was like, oh, fuck it. Yeah,
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: you know, like what am I watching? Nothing important? Right now?
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: I just sold my house in La Like I'm fully
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: living in New York, Like I just closed on it
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: like three weeks ago.
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: Could you have sold my house?
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: With your house as like a little couplet.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: Where are you staying In the meantime.
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: I'm staying currently with my friend Kat. Thank you Cat.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: She's put up with me. We're like basically turning into
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: a lesbian couple. She cooks, she's a busy career woman.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: She takes such good care of me. I bring nothing
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: to the table, And in terms of domesticity, I am
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: as useless or as useful I should say, as an
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Astrana motorcycle when it comes to domesticity. But I provide
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: personality and I like to finance things. So that's what
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: I'm good for. You know, you have to find your
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: strengths in this world, and those are mine, Josh, those
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: are mine. On that note, we're going to take a
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: break and we'll be right back with Josh Rodner. And
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: we're back.
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: With Josh Radner.
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: He has a new album out called Eulogy Volume two,
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: and everything's just under your name.
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: You don't have a band's name, no, just my name.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Josh, are you ready to take some questions from
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: some callers?
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: We dole out advice here like professionals.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: Oh wow, I didn't know this. Okay, Yeah, I'm surprised.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: You're gonna love it. Everyone loves it. Yes.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: Well, our first question is just an email. This comes
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: from Nicky. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm writing because I'm
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: struggling with a situation in my marriage and could really
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: use some outside perspective.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: Oh perfect. We have a married man here, right exactly,
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: and a married woman, Yeah, exactly.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: My husband and I have been married for ten months.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Eight months ago, we moved across the country for his job,
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: which meant I had to leave all my friends and
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: family behind. We're still adjusting to the new city and
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: he now travels frequently for work. A few weeks ago,
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: I went to visit friends, and while I was gone,
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: my husband went out to a bar. I had this
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: nagging feeling and knew something was off and I got back,
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: so I ended up going through his phone. I know,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: I know, not proud of this. What I found was
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: that he had texted a girl he met at the
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: bar around two am. He had apparently left, and he
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: was asking her to come back out to the bar,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: offering to pay for her uber. It didn't seem to
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: go beyond texting, but the fact that he was actively
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: pursuing another woman while I was visiting friends, the friends
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I had to leave behind because of his career, feels
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: like such a betrayal totally. When I confronted him, he
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: apologized and seemed genuinely sorry, But I can't shake the
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: feeling that he's getting more comfortable seeking attention from other women.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: The combination of frequent travel, us being apart often, and
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: now this incident has my trust at an all time low.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Here's what I'm struggling with. I hate that I felt
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: compelled to go through his phone, but my gut instinct
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: was right.
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: Now.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: I'm worried he'll just get better at hiding things. I
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: also feel especially vulnerable because I'm isolated in this new
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: city without my support system, and it feels like he
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: took advantage of the moment I left town. We're planning
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: to have a serious conversation about this, and I'm considering
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: couple's therapy, but I'm not sure if I'm we're reacting
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: or if this is as big of a red flag
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: as it feels. How do I know if this is
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: something we can work through or if I'm just setting
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: myself up to be a detective in my own marriage?
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: And how do I deal with the fact that I
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: moved my entire life for someone who might not be
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: as committed to our marriage as I thought. Thanks, Nikki,
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: it's a lot.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: I would say that's a big, big.
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: Red flag and really unfortunate.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: First of all, I'm so sorry, Nikki that you're dealing
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: with that, But I'm of the belief that, like when
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: something like that happens, it has to become such a
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: big deal to make the first time the last time.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: You have to get into counseling right away with somebody
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: with a therapist to understand why he would even allow
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: himself to get to that place to be drunkenly texting
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: somebody at two o'clock in the morning is so disrespectful,
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: so unacceptable. You're ten months into your marriage. That is
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: a huge red flag that he's doing that. And while
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't say, like, oh god, you got to divorce him,
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: you have to immediately draw attention to the matter. There
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: have to be consequences to those kinds of actions. I
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: don't care about anyone going through anyone's phone. I mean,
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: it's not ideal, but if somebody does and they find something,
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: it's usually because if a female instinct and you want
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: to like, you're not pouring through your husband's phone all
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: day long, but now that she saw that, she's going
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: to do it again.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: It's woman's intuition, Like we cannot always know. And I
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: do agree with you. I think that this is something
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: that they can work through. But like, get into therapy immediately,
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: and this is not going to be two sessions. He's
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: obviously having some Peter Pan stuff about like, oh god,
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: I'm married now, I still want to sell my wild oats.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: But like, I do think if he's committed to getting
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: past that, you guys can get past it.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: Right. What do you think, Josh From the male perspective, well,
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: I think first of all, it's like a pretty insightful letter,
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: like she has some real self awareness, and I think
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: that that is terrific.
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: I hope her husband has similar kind of self awareness.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: He might be in a fog of like you said,
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: like Peter Pan, like, I understand all that. It's like
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: women have their own version of this, but I think
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: men sometimes marriage can feel like the end of like
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: hanging up some aspect of yourself that was like that
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: very energizing and fun and exciting. But in a good
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: relationship all that stuff can come out to play and
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: still be active. But I think you're right, it's like
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: it's no good. I mean it's almost like live your
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: life in such a way that no one needs to
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: go through your phone, Like that's a good way to be,
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: you know, like you want to feel like your public
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: face and your private face are the same, especially in
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: your marriage. I mean, if I was like keeping massive
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: secrets from my wife, I would find this marriage really
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: hard to be in. So yes, I feel like you
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: got to establish guidelines where it's like we're transparent with
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: each other, where the behavior doesn't you don't have these
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: side behaviors because you're obviously trying to escape something that's
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: a bigger issue, which is why couple's therapy is inevitable
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: for the.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Right couple's therapy and then individual therapy for him too,
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: because it's also really so unfair to put your partner
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: through that. To know that she has a job that
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: takes her out of town, and now every time she
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: goes out of town, this is what's going to be
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: on her mind instead of her being able to focus
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: on her job and be, you know, the best in
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: her career that she could be, and all of the
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: goals that she wants to attain.
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: Or reach or aspire to whatever.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: Like you're putting an onus on her now to actually
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: have to be preoccupied with your childish behavior and because
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: you're drunk at two o'clock in the.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: Morning's l in like the mother role and him and
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: the child role, which is very unsexy. I would say
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: that her larger question, am I overreacting?
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: I would say no, yes, correct, we all agree that
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: you're not overreacting.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: And you know, I think people don't talk enough about
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: how hard that first year of marriage can be. I
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: know in my life, like we went through probably like
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: two years of therapy about a year and we started
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: going to therapy and like, I just didn't know what
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: I didn't know. You know, it really helped me. It's
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: why I'm still married twenty years later, fifteen years later.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: What like and what were some of the like the
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: challenges of being married in your first year.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Well, it's a big adjustment. Like even people I found
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: friends of mine who are like, well, we've been living
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: together forever, so it's not going to change anything. But
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: I think it's an expectation shift where people are like, oh,
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: they're going to come home at a certain time, or
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: we're gonna like, you know, no one's gonna stay up
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: watching TV, We're gonna go to bed together whatever.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: Like little annoying. There's a lot, honestly, I mean having
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: to go to bed together every night. I mean opt
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: out of that. I think any healthy couple doesn't do
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: that every single night. Yeah, correct, obviously you can't.
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: I mean that I had some friends who've been married
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: a long time and they maintain that is their secret
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: is they go to bed.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: They go to bed together every single night at the
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: same time. Yeah, oh wow, wow interesting. I have to
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: think about that on my drive home. I'm not so
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: sure about that.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: I will also say I think one of the big
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: keys for us was, like, you know, they say never
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: go to bed angry. For us, it was like, go
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: to bed angry because you like maybe have had a
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: couple of drinks, and even if not, you're tired, you're grumpy,
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: You're circling the same drain over and over and over,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: like go to bed. You wake up and you're like,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: what were.
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: We faced, like holding off on sending that email at night? Yeah,
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: and an angry email.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: That's like the.
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: Most like common, somewhat dumbest marital advice. Everyone says it,
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: and you're like, think about that, go to bed angry
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: sometimes and wake up and be in a better place.
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, But also who fucking came up with that? That
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: we have these like it's one.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: Of those axioms of life, like don't go to bed angry.
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: It's like almost like something that you know, any idiot.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: Could have said. And then everyone's like, yeah, let me
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: just repeat that rent cycle and repeat.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: Do you have any rules that you and your wife
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: follow about maintaining I mean you obviously see them very
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: well balanced, Josh, and that.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: You know, well, it's been a hard one. It hasn't
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: always been that way. My wife had she said, I
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: only have two rules, which I thought were incredibly sensible.
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: One was be kind, which I think is great, and
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: the other one when she said, don't read my journals.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: She's kept journals like for years and years and years,
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: and she's you know, and she has a friend that
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: in the event of her untimely death, her one job
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: is to come to the apartment and get all the
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: journals and burn them. Like she's very sincere about, like,
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: no one is to see these. These are just for me.
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: Which only would pique my interesting.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know it hasn't I honor it, but yeah, yeah,
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: I mean that talk about a betrayal reading somebody's journals.
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: I can't even believe people still write with their hands.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: I had this, I had this. I got that new
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: Gratitude journal, and I was like, okay, I want to
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: do it in the morning and at night every night.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: And then my friends like, oh, you could do it
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: on your you know, you could download the app and
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: do it on your phone.
• 31:22
  Speaker 4: I'm like I could type. I'm like I could only
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: get through.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: You know, when you're writing now, it's like so hard
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: to write for some reason what I know and I
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: can't fit all the words. It's like my handwriting sucks now,
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, if I type it, I get so
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: much more in then I want to list ten things
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: instead of three things you know that made today great,
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: et cetera.
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: So yeah, I'm all about the phone. Now I've given up.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: We're living through the technology age and now we're living
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: through the artificial insemination and intelligency. Two things I don't
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: want anything to do is I don't want to deal
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: with AI.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: Well, our next email comes from Ali. She is calling
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: in so she says, my name is Ali. I'm thirty two,
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: and my brother thirty one, is my best friend. Don't worry.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: I have other friends, like a healthy number, but for
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: a lot of reasons, including complex family dynamics, our shared
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: dark sense of humor, and the bond we formed caring
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: for our grandma during her dementia years, He's been the
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: most important relationship in my life for a long time.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: Here's where it gets tricky. In the past year, he's
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: entered a serious relationship. I've known this girlfriend for years
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: and I think she's lovely. This isn't one of those
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: I hate my brother's girlfriend situations.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: Sounds like it's going.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: To be, though, but something about it just isn't fully
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: clicking for me emotionally. It's not jealousy and it's not drama.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: It's just change, and apparently I'm not thriving in it.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: We live next door to each other, because of course
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: we do, and I'm realizing I've built a little too
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: much of my identity around this brother bestie dynamic. Most
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: of my other close friends are getting married, having babies,
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: or moving on to new life phases. And while I'm
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: good with my own path, I think I need more
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: tools to invest in me again. So how do I
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: begin to lovingly create space between me and my brother,
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: who is again still my favorite person, without feeling like
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: I'm pushing him away. I don't want to be weird
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: or dramatic. I just want some practical, emotionally intelligent action
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: items for carving out a little independence without breaking the bond. Ali.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: Hi, Ali, this is our special guest today, Josh Radner. Hi,
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: nice to meet you.
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: And that's so sweet that you're best friends with your brother.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: That's really nice.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: I understand that you're dealing with change, but you know what,
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: Listen This is not like everyone has problems with change.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: I mean not everybody, but so many people have problems
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: with change. I have problems with making adjustments. And actually,
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: you know, having somebody else come in, even if your
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: best friend wasn't your brother, you would it would probably
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: be hard for you for your best friend to have
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: a relationship and being introduced to them. So give yourself
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: a little bit of grace and I would just whatever
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: you're into, just like exercise more of those activities. Like literally,
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: like if you're into pilates, make sure that you're allotting
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: time for that. Make sure you're allotting time for your friends.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: You have friends, I'm assuming I have a.
• 33:57
  Speaker 7: Lot of friends. I go to prelatis every day. I
• 34:00
  Speaker 7: do pottery.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: You created that, yeah, and you have hobbies you like pottery.
• 34:06
  Speaker 6: It's more like, like I said, I like love his girlfriend.
• 34:10
  Speaker 7: I think she's fantastic.
• 34:12
  Speaker 6: I just realized, like when he got into the relationship
• 34:15
  Speaker 6: that my identity was like more closely tied, and like
• 34:21
  Speaker 6: right now it's fantastic and amazing. Everybody's out here. There's
• 34:24
  Speaker 6: like a lot going on, but in the off season,
• 34:26
  Speaker 6: there's not a lot to going on, you know.
• 34:30
  Speaker 7: It's like small town.
• 34:32
  Speaker 6: You know everyone, it's very condensed and like everyone's in
• 34:37
  Speaker 6: each other's business.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: And do you feel like during those winter months when
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: it is a collieter that you are encroaching on their
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: private life, like because I don't think your identity is
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: tied to your brother unless you actively like your brother
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: and sister, that's not going to change.
• 34:51
  Speaker 6: Yeah, we're very much in the same like social circle too,
• 34:55
  Speaker 6: And I just like I felt like, oh my god,
• 34:57
  Speaker 6: like I don't need to be like i'd be lying
• 35:00
  Speaker 6: with his.
• 35:00
  Speaker 7: Girlfriends all the time. Like it was just like I
• 35:04
  Speaker 7: just want to be like chill and cool and like
• 35:08
  Speaker 7: I don't know, I don't know.
• 35:10
  Speaker 6: It's it's like I don't I don't know if there's
• 35:12
  Speaker 6: like a correct answer or like even like a piece
• 35:14
  Speaker 6: of advice.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: Can I offer something Ali perhaps, Like my wife has
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: this theory that like if we're a solar system, like
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: and you're this son, your brother was like Mercury, but
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: he might have to be Venus, like he might have
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: to like go like one planet away, you know, where
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: it's like you're still in relationship, you're still in the
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: same solar system. And I think when people partner off
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: dynamics have to change because the primary relationship is like
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: the relationship.
• 35:41
  Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, I love her analogies.
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: Isn't that cool? I do? There's like a really cool
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: opportunity for you to, like what Chelsea said, like lean
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: into other stuff, grow other parts of yourself, also grow
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: other friendships, and you know, just follow the seeds. And
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: then I think your relationship with your brother will like
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: take its new place the solar system, and it'll start
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: to feel right. But you're just in the like adjustment
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: change period, which is yeah.
• 36:05
  Speaker 7: Itunds like a meteor like yeah around.
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you're like in the liminal phase.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: That's what that is, right where you're kind of in
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: between two things. But also just you know, like in
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: thinking about it in thoughts like towards your brother, towards
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: his girlfriend.
• 36:19
  Speaker 4: How long have they been together?
• 36:21
  Speaker 7: Like over a year?
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: Okay? Just I would say, like lead with your heart
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: and lead with love, like don't overthink things too much.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Don't think, oh my god, am I spending too much
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: time here? Like you can have those thoughts, but don't
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: overanalyze your relationship because it is your brother. You do
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: have a relationship. It sounds like you have a pretty
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: healthy relationship with his girlfriend. You know that you're gonna
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: like try and grow these other parts, that's Josh said,
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: very eloquently, grow these other parts of yourself, but also
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: just lead with love, like don't punish anyone for these circumstances,
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: and don't make it like you know, oh I'm gonna
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna be available to them, because I don't
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: want them to think I'm too available, like I have.
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: My own life, Like, don't play games like that.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: Just lead with your heart and really try and be
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: as present as possible when you're with both of them,
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: because like what Josh said, I want to echo like
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: there is a new version of this coming around, and
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: it's in these in between stages that get so sticky,
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: I think for all of us when we don't know
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: where you know, what we knew is not exactly right anymore,
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: and what's to come isn't exactly happening yet, so we
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: kind of get stuck. And it's actually a really nice
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: phase for you to really get in touch with yourself
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: and really be present in the relationship and show up
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: like heart forward, love first and totally with no judgment
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: towards yourself or them. Yeah, okay to practice that. Yeah, okay, well,
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: thanks for calling in. I love that question and I
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: love Josh's answer, and I feel like, yeah, good, good,
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: good luck with everything.
• 37:47
  Speaker 7: Thank you, and good luck with whatever you're promoting. Josh
• 37:51
  Speaker 7: can't wait to listen to the episode.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: And he got a new album out.
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: And he's got a new album out.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: You can download yes, yeah on.
• 37:57
  Speaker 7: Spotify right now or download on iTunes.
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's called.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: Eulogy Eulogy Volume two by Josh Radner. You could download
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: it anywhere.
• 38:06
  Speaker 7: Yeah, okay, amazing, Well, thanks great, Thanks Sally.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: Your new album is going to get her into her
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: Venus dynamic with her brother. She's gonna end up sleeping
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: with her brother. Watch what this podcast leads to. Oh well.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: Our last question today comes from Stephanie and she is
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: forty eight. She says, Dear Chelsea, I recently started working
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: for a smallish local business. My friend connected me with
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: the owner and we instantly had a connection even before
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: we met in person. Once we met in person, it
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: was even more intoxicating. Nothing inappropriate has happened, but over
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: the last five months I have just crushed so hard
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: it goes in waves where he I think flirts with
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: me and then stops. We really get along and just mesh.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: I think constantly that I just want to make out
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: with him. It's to the point where we're passing friendly,
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: work appropriate touches. We text each other randomly, almost just
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: to let the other know the other one. No, we're
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: thinking about each other without actually saying it. I've never
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: in my life been this drawn to someone so magnetically.
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: He even gave me a plant. If that wasn't a sign,
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: I don't know what is. I mean, a love fern?
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: Who does that? I don't want to get fired. I
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: don't think he would, but I also don't want to
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: quit because I love my job. How can I just
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: make out with him?
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: Just do it already?
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: What?
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, Stephanie, this is our special guest today, Josh Radnor.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: Say hello to him.
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: Hi, Hi, gosh, Hi.
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: Look you look like you're like having an affair sitting
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: there like you act like you're doing something terribly wrong.
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: What kind of work do you do?
• 39:36
  Speaker 7: That?
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: This is so? I mean, honestly, I feel like work
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: romances are just you know, unless there's some huge power dynamic,
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: there's really nothing wrong with them.
• 39:44
  Speaker 5: So I am an operations director for a small ish company.
• 39:50
  Speaker 5: But I work very closely with the own.
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: And can I ask though the owner he's not married,
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: he's single, Yeah, he is single.
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: He's divorced. Okay, so he's still single. Yes, okay, So
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: I think you need to make your move, sister, Like
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: five months, what do you do?
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: You can't make the move, right, he.
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: Can't make the move, He's right, So you're gonna have
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: to let him know how you feel and also give
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: him an exit in case he doesn't have the same feelings.
• 40:20
  Speaker 4: But you got to do it.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: You're a woman. You have to be brave and be
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: a woman. What if this is the love of your life?
• 40:26
  Speaker 5: I know, and honestly so, I had told Catherine that
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: I am divorced. I've been divorced for eight years and
• 40:31
  Speaker 5: never during this eight years have I found interest in
• 40:35
  Speaker 5: not one person. And so my friends are just like,
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: oh my god, like of all people, of course, you're
• 40:42
  Speaker 5: like in love with your boss, like why is this happening?
• 40:46
  Speaker 5: But I'm just not brave, and I guess I need
• 40:48
  Speaker 5: like more reassurance. I'm worried that our dynamic will change
• 40:54
  Speaker 5: if for some reason it didn't work out or I
• 40:58
  Speaker 5: also don't want to be rejected.
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: I don't know, but yes, you got to get rid
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: of the rejection part.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: That's part of life. And if you don't want to
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: be rejected, then then then you almost don't deserve to
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: be in love because you have to experience rejection. That's
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: just the way it goes. You can't be afraid of it.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: It doesn't make you less of a woman, It doesn't
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: make you less of a person, It doesn't make you
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: less valuable. It just means that that person and you
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: aren't a perfect match. That's okay. You're not going to
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: be a perfect match with most.
• 41:22
  Speaker 4: People that you meet.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's true. Can you do something cute like
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: slip him an email or slip a little note on
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: his desk ask him to meet for a drink?
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: Like is there something that you feel.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: More comfortable doing in order to just get the message across, Like, Hey,
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: do you want to meet for a drink later tonight?
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: I think there you'll get an answer to that real quick.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: That'll give you an indication.
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: Also, so he stopped drinking, and so that was one
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: thing that we would we would go do we would
• 41:49
  Speaker 5: go out for drinks or like one time I was
• 41:52
  Speaker 5: telling him how I love a martini, but I wanted
• 41:55
  Speaker 5: to try the specific martini. Well, then all of a
• 41:59
  Speaker 5: sudden he brought all this stuff to make that. But
• 42:01
  Speaker 5: like now he's not drinking, which is fine, but that
• 42:05
  Speaker 5: kind of just changes the dynamics a little bit, and
• 42:09
  Speaker 5: so that makes it harder because I'm always like, let's
• 42:11
  Speaker 5: just have a drink. But then also I'm like, Okay,
• 42:14
  Speaker 5: you're on your sober journey, so.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: Can I ask Josh here? So you've been on the
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: sober journey for a long time, Like what's the dynamic
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: of like asking somebody to.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: Go for a drink?
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: Can you go somewhere that has five mocktails to choose from?
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I just get a bitters and soda or a
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: club soda. Like I like being in bars. I don't
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: mind being in bars at all, you know, I think
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: like in terms of being bold, something like, hey, I
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: really like our dynamic. I really like the notes and
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: the you know, whatever you guys are doing, and say
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: I don't want that to change. I was just wondering,
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: like if we could maybe work in like a little
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: bit of making out and just see what that's like.
• 42:49
  Speaker 5: That's all I want to do I just want to
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: make out with him, Yeah, and then we'll go from there,
• 42:54
  Speaker 5: just like, let me just make out with you one time,
• 42:57
  Speaker 5: and then maybe he hates it, maybe I hate and
• 43:00
  Speaker 5: then problem solved.
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: Right. But I think also there's a there's a trick
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: in creative writing where they're like, I don't know how
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: to start this story, and they're like, well, tell me
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: the story, and then you tell them the story, and
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: you're like, that's it. That's that's how you tell the story. Like,
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: that's how you write the story. So everything you said
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: in the letter is like I really like this guy,
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: really like our dynamic. I just would really like to
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: make out with him, but I don't know how to
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: broach it. I think that's what you say.
• 43:22
  Speaker 5: I love it, yeah, because all my guy friends are like,
• 43:26
  Speaker 5: he's giving you so much and you're not responding to
• 43:31
  Speaker 5: like the thing like if he says something to like
• 43:34
  Speaker 5: today he was like, I'm wearing my favorite jeans that
• 43:37
  Speaker 5: they're Vengeance Levis that I loved finding, and he's like,
• 43:40
  Speaker 5: I like your I like your jeans, and I'm just
• 43:43
  Speaker 5: like it's like it's clear he's flirting with me, but
• 43:45
  Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, thank you, like I don't I'm.
• 43:50
  Speaker 4: Just but just you just need to go for it.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: Go for it. What's the worst thing that could happen.
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: He could say he's not interested. It sounds like he
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: is interested, and he's it sounds like he's not in
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: a position to make a move on you because he
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: is the owner of the business. So think about those
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: two things and send him a cute note. Send him
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: what Josh said, Send him something like, I know you
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: stop drinking. Any chance you want to come and watch
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: me have a drink, So you could say anything cute.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: That's going to be that even if it's gets rejected,
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: which is also a step towards getting closer to your goals.
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: I believe even if this guy rejects you, I know
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: you haven't been attracted to anyone in eight years, you
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: will be again. You will be hopefully this is the guy.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: But in case it, you know, like you have to
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: be you got it.
• 44:32
  Speaker 4: You're stronger than that. That's silly, you know what I mean?
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: Like rejection is whatever, And there's a lot of flirting
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: going on, so there's like proof in the pudding, and
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: you need to capitalize on this moment because what if
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: someone else comes along and is willing to capitalize on
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: the moment, like you.
• 44:46
  Speaker 4: Got to jump in there.
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: But also like rejection is good information because you can
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: move on with your life, like it's good to know,
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: and also it's it's win win the rejection. I think.
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: I think what Chelsea's saying is right.
• 44:58
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So we're gonna need you to do something and
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: report back to us.
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: Okay, I will for sure.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: Okay, we're going to give you one week and then
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: you have to call Catherine and let her know what happens.
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: Now I'm serious.
• 45:09
  Speaker 5: Linging for Germany tomorrow, so he'll be gone for twelve days.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: Perfect.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: Then today it seems like a perfect time to do that.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: Actually, today does sound like a good day because I
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: did ask me how late can you stay at work?
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, oh my.
• 45:29
  Speaker 6: Love.
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Stephanie, wake up and smell the cappuccino.
• 45:33
  Speaker 4: Go be body.
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: It's very exciting that he's leaving for Germany. You could
• 45:36
  Speaker 2: leave him with a nice makeout session right before he
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: goes to Germany, and he's going to be thinking about
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: you the whole time.
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: This is your moment, Okay.
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: You got this, Okay, you and go, Stephanie, go go,
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: Stephanie go, Hi. Thanks bye. Okay, we're going to take
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: a break and we're going to come back and wrap
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: up with Josh Radner. And we're back with Josh Radner,
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: who has a new album called Uluji Volume Two.
• 46:06
  Speaker 4: Where can you download it, Josh?
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: Anywhere you can download any music music.
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: It's like a podcast, guys. You can download it anywhere
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: you get your music. He also has a podcast. He's
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: the host of the podcast How We Made Your Mother,
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: And he's as charming as possible. So now I know
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: why we made out and didn't have sex. Josh, Actually,
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: because you are charming and yeah, and.
• 46:26
  Speaker 4: You that was the right move.
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: I don't think if we got sex, i'd be on
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: your podcast twenty years later. I think I you'd be surprised.
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: I see, oh really, yeah you would be.
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: I feel like we've had somebody that I didn't clock
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: that I had sex with on and then after I
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: was like, wait a second.
• 46:40
  Speaker 4: But anyway, Josh, thank you so much for being here today.
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: It was great to be with you, guys. Yeah. Always
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: nice to see you and thanks for having me.
• 46:46
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 46:47
  Speaker 4: Absolutely have a great day.
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: Okay, bye bye bye byeanks.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, guys, the high and Mighty tour is about to begin.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: I'm in DC February thirteenth. February fourteenth Atlantic city which
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: I just added. Fifteenth is Northfolk, Virginia. February nineteenth Madison, Wisconsin.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: February twentieth is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. February twenty first Detroit, Michigan.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: February twenty second, Rama, Ontario. That's Canada for those of
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: you who don't speak Canadia. March thirteenth, Cleveland, Ohio. March
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: fourteenth Columbus, Ohio. March fifteenth, Cincinnati, Ohio. And then March
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: twentieth is Denver, Colorado. March twenty seventh Portland, Maine. March
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: twenty eighth, Providence, Rhode Island. March twenty ninth, Springfield, Massachusetts.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: April tenth is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater.
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: April eleventh Indianapolis, Indiana. April twelfth Louisville, Kentucky. April sixteenth
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April seventeenth is Mesa, Arizona. April
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: twenty third is Kansas City, Missouri. April twenty fourth is
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: Saint Louis, Missouri. April twenty fifth is Minneapolis, Minnesota. April thirtieth, Nashville, Tennessee.
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: May first is Charlotte, North Carolina. May second, Durham, North Carolina.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: May sixth I'm doing Netflix as a joke festival. I
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: will be in Los Angeles. That is a new announcement.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: And May fifteenth Saratoga, California. May sixteenth, Monterey, California. May seventeenth, Modesto, California.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: And then June fourth, Portchester, New York. June fifth is Boston,
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: mass And June twelfth is Portland, Oregon. And then Seattle
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: is June thirteenth, So suck on that, everybody. Go to
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: Podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: producer Catherine Law And be sure to check out our
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: merch at Chelseahandler dot com